If you feel like a failure in life... fail fast.
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- Ex-Google TechLead on how he has overcome failures in his life. Ace your coding interviews with ex-Google/ex-Facebook training. techinterviewpro.com/
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“Don’t cry” techlead getting soft
A true empath
Cry and get soft
Do not worry guy does not matter if you cry or not the truth is at the end you will die. Does not matter if you are soft or strong. 😂😂😂Does not matter if u have brain and use it or not. Does not matter how you were fast, good, bad, smart, intelligent, not intelligent, soft, strong, weak. End is same for everyone. Live life the way that makes you happy but do not try to force anything on others. This is in the end your life. All those fights will not change this fact. Have a good life from bottom of my heart but at the know that it all does not matter because YOU WIIL DIE.
The worst is when you no longer feel the need to get up 😔
You’ll get tired of being tired eventually. It took me years to recover from demotivation.
I live in a country with a ridiculous amount of inflation. I have been feeling that for past few years.
that's why I try to increase blood flow daily. If I have good bloodflow... I have no issue getting it up everyday. TRUST ME
You'll get over it eventually, just go through it.
That's what I'm going through right now. All I do is work my minimum wage job, sleep, watch a lot of RUclips, and some reading. On my days off I often get up in late afternoon, because I have no reason to get up earlier.
Man, I was honestly waiting to hear this... Worse than failure is dwelling on it and not trying to rebuild yourself!!!
I've spent 2/3ds of my life trying to rebuild it and the only result was failure and disappointment, so I finally gave up.
@@MargaritaMagdalena Can relate to this. Build a business and then fail in a couple of days after years of "hustling". Tried to rebuild and failed. Just more stress. "Never give up" is the worst thing in "nowadays" society. In life everything is luck. You can't just do like other successful people. I gave up and now just resting and not expecting anything from life. Feeling much better. I regret that I "Hustle" too hard through life and because of my hustle work, my wife left me and I have no children. Some are just not meant to be someone. Social media gives a false hope that you can be someone. If you are lucky you will be successful without trying hard.
@@matasmatas7030 Same! I've found great relief in giving up.
My take away home today is: "No one single person can destroy your life. Whether its your boss, your spouse, some sibling, some parent, should have the power to destroy your whole life." That was spot on powerful TechLead.
There is someone who can. He is looking at me in a mirror
Just one person can definitely destroy your life. It happened to me.
so thank him or her. they made you realise whats important to you.@@MargaritaMagdalena
The problem about taking too much time to recover is that it can quickly become inertia and you never get out of it.
One of the ways out of this daze is to start making small wins, and then you'll find the reward in being productive again and life should be normal.
These types of videos are the reason I keep coming back to techlead. I feel like the advice he gives is valuable and down to earth. I sometimes even rewatch older videos where he gives advice.
On an off chance you're reading this techlead, thanks. Your videos help me a lot, wish you all the best.
He can be quite inspirational when he's not trying to act goofy.
He is very inspiring. Very honest
Sometimes people need an enemy to get motivated.
Its not desirable
Only if you manage to defeat the enemy
Jeffrey Jeffery bezos
Just few minutes ago I felt bad about my final exam and thought that I was so stupid. But your video helps me realize that it’s not the only event in my life. It can’t affect my whole life. After all I have to continue my study to get a good job.
Like you mentioned, failing is all too common. Unless you lose your life as a result of failing, you can still get on with your life, like the rest of the world, and the generations that have came through before us.
If you happen to be successful, good for you, but you must realize that only a very small portion of the people is successful, and success is subjective, is being happy considered success? or hitting a certain amount of wealth, or be remembered for years to come, or doing something that advance the world?
Don't be too hard on yourself, if you need a break, take it, but do come out from the break, and try to do whatever you want again, don't give up on life or yourself.
“Success is a character trait” that is profound
the worst failures in life are the ones that happen when you are a kid when you cant do much to change your life coming from a broken home
TRUTH. That’s totally tragic & makes you feel so helpless at such a young age.
I come from a broken home too, but I'm also going to add that there is an expiration date on blaming your broken home for your problems. Youre not a kid now, you can do what you couldn't then, so go to therapy, heal and move on when you're ready.
@@nique6382 well, sort of. A tea cup that is broken can be swept up & glued back together & it may still resemble a tea cup but it may not function as one. Broken homes do lasting irreparable damage to children - they don’t know what they don’t know. Of course assigning blame is an immature & disempowered approach but once you get past that you simply have to accept the damage. Like someone in a car crash has to get over blaming but still has to accept they’re crippled.
@vali4034 true, i meant more in not taking responsibility for a person's life instead of just giving up on everything and blaming their parents - who also probably dod the best they could
@@nique6382 yes - you’re right about that. I’m 53 now & can see my parents as people with personalities & beliefs that they couldn’t overcome at the young age they formed the family. I also see how my formation in that environment made me who I am today and I’ve got trauma & fear of my own that I can’t quite overcome, either. So, through the pain, it’s very easy to forgive them & love them & simply accept that I turned out like a messed-up pancake. 🩷 You are very sweet & sensible - thanks for chatting about deep healing stuff! Peace be with you!
great video - resetting ourselves after some bad event or trauma is an essential skill - the comment about not taking yourself too seriously is very important !
Thank you for your words brother, this was much needed. From South Africa !
Thank you for sharing Patrick!
Bad things will happen to everyone. It is impossible to control that, but at least one can develop their resiliency and learn to recover from them.
Thanks Techlead, someone out there really cares. You're such a caring guy.
I'm completely alone. Working a physically demanding job 14 hours a day. I only work and sleep, barely take care of myself and my surroundings. This will be my life for the next 2 years in order to pay debt. Honestly, i'm thinking of giving up. I don't see what's in the other side of this, i'm tired.
Good luck , life gets better but don’t kill yourself in the process sometimes is better to slow down
stay strong buddy, there's always something to live for
Then pay that debt in 3 years or 4 years and slow down, give yourself some vacation or go to a meditation retreat (vipassana kind, silent, modest and you don't have to pay money, a donation will do, even later when you'll be alright). Include as soon as you can some social activity (dancing or reading with a group or smth) and some yoga/streching classes (your job is already demanding, it helps relax a bit while staying in shape). "Courage", don't give up, two years will pass quickly and if you slow down with your debt, 3 years or 4 will pass as quickly.
I'm sure you can get through that.Keep going.
@@Ssookawai I really agree Vipassana is a real-life changer (when you can afford 10 days off) I call it 'mental surgery'. You learn to control your monkey mind. I Build, and am also looking to get out of day to day survival. The way out is to find and grow a Passive business income, that doesn't require you to be working 9-5. Anyone have any idea's? :o)
It doesn't matter what life does to you. What matters is what you're going to do with what life has made of you.
Thanks man , keep spreadin them good wisdoms. got yourself a subscriber!
This video was so timely in my life. Thanks for the release.
Thanks Techlead, really needed this, love ya brother.❤
I failed so hard. I was a Nigerian foreign student, studying to be a pilot in a flight school in Ontario Canada. I failed in flight school and went back to Nigeria. Went to University there, got a CS degree and I work as a frontend dev in Nigeria.
no offence but Nigeria is a corrupt craphole
Thank you for this tech lead! You downloaded this for me ❤❤
I dream of the day where we can erase memories like in Men In Black...
I would save up, move away, and wipe ALOT of memories.
Overthinking reality is what leads to me thinking like a failure.
And being haunted by memories makes me feel like it'll never end.
you cant wipe memories for now, but you can try to control the overthinking! theres a lot of methods, i would recommend The Power of Now
All memories pass bro. I used to overthink a lot, now its just empty noise.
What you can do is cut the cords that connect you to the memories. The cords are connected in the area of your belly button. Next time the memories pop up, imagine you are holding a knife & cut the cords in gesture. Tell the memories “thank you for serving me once but you no longer serve my greatest good”. You may have to do this a few times but it really does work. Praying for you for freedom to start anew. 🕊️
I'm only 2 minutes into this video, this is one of the most therapeutic videos I've come across man I really appreciate this.
One of the very best YT channels on the entire platform. Thank you TechLead❤
Got rejected in third round of my dream job. Applying to 100 jobs today.
I love this. This is different from your old videos. This is more on humble side of your personality. But I really need this as I am old and felt a failure as well
I love your growing outlook on life.
Refreshing to see you speaking more positively and having a more composed outlook in life as painful it can be, keep it up!
Thanks bro was feeling crap dwelling . Drinking cofee and watching your vid . Wise words not just theory. It helped me changed my outlook . Watched it twice Bless
Thank you Tech Lead. This is some phenomenal advise!
Spot on and I love how the ending makes everything seem so insignificant in the best of ways
This is my favorite new channel...well done!
This perk me up. I was beating myself up wallowing in self pity so I search on RUclips about failure in life and this is the first video. Really helps me, thanks.
If i feel like a failure in life, i just watch this channel.
It wont help, but it just confirms it. But at least i'll know that i'm not the only one after watching this guys videos.
Tech lead is becoming a better person day by day💪🏿💪🏿
Great advice TechLead! Thank you for sharing this!!
This is actually one of your best videos. I had to like and comment.
Like always: entertaining and also good advice. Thanks.
Great content man. Very helpful vid! Thanks!
Every morning after you wake up stay in bed for extra 5 minutes and instead of grabbing your phone or feeling anything bad, remind yourself to be grateful for everything you have or had. I was sceptical about it at first but it works unbelievably well
Whenever I feel like a failure, I go back to your old video about everyone being stupid beasts and it puts me back in the right mindset. Thanks a lot, TechLead!
Glad to know I'm not the only one doing this
7
What's that video called
We need the video link bro!
Which video was that please?
Great insights. It's a constant reminder to not dwell.
I love this! Thanks bro I needed this
There is an old Buddhist story about a farmer and his horse.
One day his horse runs away. And his neighbor comes over and says, to commiserate, “I’m so sorry about your horse.” And the farmer says “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?” The neighbor is confused because this is clearly terrible. The horse is the most valuable thing he owns.
But the horse comes back the next day and he brings with him 12 feral horses. The neighbor comes back over to celebrate, “Congratulations on your great fortune!” And the farmer replies again: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”
And the next day the farmer’s son is taming one of the wild horses and he’s thrown and breaks his leg. The neighbor comes back over, “I’m so sorry about your son.” The farmer repeats: “Who Knows What’s Good or Bad?”
Sure enough, the next day the army comes through their village and is conscripting able-bodied young men to go and fight in war, but the son is spared because of his broken leg.
...
In terms of psychotherapy, event by itself doesn't determine anything. All emotions that you feel about it are born from the thoughts you have in your head. So changing thinking patterns (and Buddhist's one above is one interesting example) could help improving the mental state and skill of handling all the crap there is in the world nowadays. What's fun - it's the main goal of both science (psychology, therapy) and religion, just achieved in slightly different ways.
I've read this book "How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life Of The Brain" (2018) by neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, and she explains that "thoughts produce feelings" is an outmoded idea that's not supported by modern science. In reality, your body, emotions, and thoughts all influence each other.
You can’t just forget in-denials and ignore traumatic events as if they never happened it’s against the logical wirings in the substrates of neuro-circuitries we need to evaluate learn skill sets to arm and cope (esp if such events will happen again even frequently) and be prepared but be cool not to be paranoid and move on …
This is literally the best advice I've received this year.
I see in other their personal homework… but a lot of time I don’t see in myself my own lessons…. thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice, they are greatly appreciated in my present situation.
Very very well said. A good and practical advice. Thank you.
I have to say your are quite intelligent and sophisticated the way you articulate how vital perseverance and the outlook of failure being a stepping stone to prosperity is essential for anyone trying to attain there pinnacle thank you for sharing 😊
“It’s not over for you yet. You’re still in the running.”😂
In gambling this is what's called a "maximum boldness strategy". You take the biggest shot you're willing to take in one go so that way if you win you win in the short term, but if you fail you fail fast so you can recover quicker.
I needed this thank you!
Wow thanks TechLead. just what I need. 🖖
Thank you, I needed this.
That is a real good video...
Actually helped me.
Thanks!
I needed this, thanks
I love your mentaly, thank you for sharing.
Thank you for posting this sir
Thanks TechLead, This means a lot
When I feel awful I try to work extra hard because I know that I'll have more fruit of my labor to enjoy once I feel better.
found myself when I was younger to love to feel pitiful and give power to this feeling because it's addicting and somewhat pleasant, it gives meaning, drama, importance, but it takes too much time, it swallow you in and then you take a hit to selfesteem. Had depression for 5-7 years and don't know now for sure If I needed so much time to recover or I just enjoyed it.
Yea, same with melancoly and similar feelings, for other personal reasons I basically got used to "cry in my dark corner" mentally, to the point where I would get goosebumps, just as if I listened to the biggest musical masterpiece when I would fantasize about dark stuff. It does, in a weird way, become a safespace of some short.
Thankfully as I got older (am just about to be 23, sounds like im like 45) I learned how to manage my emotions and what life throws at me a bit better, and I managed to be more resilient agaisnt sadness and whatnot, while still appreciating beauty and being a dreamer still.
doesn't help that we now have entire industries thriving on this pain and misery
When I say it's nice to be sad people think I'm retarded. So I'm not the only one.
This nerd looking guy is really good.
Thank you very much.
You really helped me.
Thank you again.
Be blessed.
Thanks for making this video for real. 💪🏿🔥😎👍🏽
exactly what i needed to hear this morning
Thanks, I this is a decent pep-talk. I've experienced a lot of traumatic events over that past couple of years (my entire life until then seems like nothing in comparison) so it's been wearing me down. Well it's changed my every day (and ultimately I'm just in fight or flight mode because the next big thing, quite possibly a serious health issue, is right around the corner) and I work hard to try to improve it but there are still periods where I let it get to me in some bigger or smaller ways.
Video was really good, honest and helpful.
But its okay to cry if you feel like doing it. Cry as much as you want but then come back stronger
Like your speach buddy!!
I think your cold-hard reality yet nudging people in the right direction videos are the best.
I appreciate your insight. Thank you. 🙏
Well said and inciteful video ❤
You are the greatest, TechLead.
You actually have gone through some crap, that is the reason I listen to you.
I think luck and right timing plays a role in recovering from failure the easy way while consistency and hard work will be the difficult way out of it.
I'm sure that preparation and readiness play a role.
Great advice
One of your best Tech lead. 👌
Hahaha, I keep going back to this video. Thank you for creating this
Please make more videos like these and just ignore the haters and rude comments. The world are just full of them but there are people who do appreciate you. Everyone has haters, and I can find one the moment I encounter any group of people.
Brilliant video.
This advice is all fine and dandy if your failures came exclusively from external events outside your control AND you are someone with perfect executive function, fast knowledge acquisition *and* a streak of successes ("reference experiences") to build on. Things become much darker if your (serial) failures are a result of intrinsic weaknesses in your mental and physical health. Many times you'll want to 'pick up yourself by your bootstraps' and give it another try, only to run into mental, physical AND social roadblocks in everything you try to do. While the advice was well meant, even if presented in Techlead's trademark 'tough love' style, some of the examples were completely inane. I mean seriously, Elon Musk is a good example of someone who 'overcomes failure and does whatever he wants?. Well *DUH* he is a freaking decabillionaire, of course he can do *whatever he wants*. How is this relatable to a 'normal person' viewing this video?
Exactly.
Thank you for this video
Yeah, you're right on those things. Sometimes you just have to get told those things straight into your face.
Love your videos ❤
Truly my favourite multi millionaire youtuber. The words of wisdoms. I unblocked my RUclips feed and this is the video is what I needed thanks
LOL I like the intro!
Just how did my life phases become so in sync with your contents 😮
Last time it was exactly 3 months after I started a business venture and not seeing growth, you made another video addressing exactly that.
I am going through my lowest moment, going broke and desperately looking for a job. Failing fast is definitely wise words, but knowing when to give up is my biggest take.
I'm in exactly your situation. Don't give up, learn sales, and keep on pushing
@@mariomaro7 thank you, I needed that. All the best to you too! Being open about it with my family improved with my mental health. Honestly at this point I'm at peace if it's just my dreams shattered and not anything else.
@@chaccmi1358 In fact i kinda felt that way even if they showed support on the surface, behind me I can't help but imagine how disappointed they truly are. Especially when some have invested in the venture. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you find a better place and people to be with you soon.
Some update. I just landed an interview for a marketing role at an education center. I'm too scared to have my hopes up, but I really need this to be the one 🥲 it's tomorrow noon, might update again afterwards.
@@EjaxPlusHow did it go, man ? I hope it was successful, but regardless of how it went I sincenery hope all is well with you🙏 Keep on trying and be positive, you will catch your break sooner or later! Best regards from Moscow 😊
Thank You! I caught covid & long covid in the middle of a very bold career move & it threw me for a loop. I lost 5 jobs in one year bc I was so weak & sickly. Now that I am finally recovering & stabilizing on that next level it doesn’t feel like a win bc it was so grueling & brutal to survive. But once the money is here I hope to be able to say it was worth it.
very well said !!
Your words have wisdom.
3:20 just doing his own stuff is what keeps you going
3:50 don't dwell
5:33 have an end day to all emotional backlog
6:21 being successful isn't one time event, it's a character trait. Over and over again
6:49 trait character trait and you canbuilt upon
7:32 lose ego, keep tryjng...
7:58 important physical is more important than emotional
fixating on a life of happiness is an error. Life will let you down regardless, so build up your focus knowing suffering is part of life. Having everything in life might be nice, but life might pass more fast living with everything you need all the time. Life worth the suffering is worth it.
Meh
probably one of your best videos.
I highly recommend a book called "The body keeps the score" healing from trauma, good video Pat just as always, full of wisdom and racionallity, thanks older bro
Second time hearing about this book in as many days, gonna take that as a sign 🔥
So true and thank You.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Needed this
😣
A nice motivational video to complete the day.
Nice one. Thanks Patrick
Great video!
Failure is a part of the process.
Very succinct & sage, grasshopper...