The reason why i am such a fan of the book is because i am really into romance, and that is kinda what you get in this book. It is romance with problems, and you know, it isn't hard to read, and i just liked it a lot. I do get why people dont like it, but it is just a book. Its not like everyone whos buying the book is at home abusing their boyfriends or girlfriends.
I didn't like that inner goddess thing either. Maybe I'm alone in this but the inner goddess thing just made me think of Lizzie Mcguire and how she had that little cartoon version of herself.
Oh the inner goddess thing was so annoying. Not only that, but the explicit parts of the book were so dull and repetitive, it was very poorly written. I think I can only enjoy a book with good quality writing but I do respect the concept, though it is too much like Twilight (I know it used to be a fanfic of it)), but personally I do not enjoy Twilight...anymore. That's the thing I look for in book series, if I stick with it for a long time then it's a hell of a great series. I didn't stick with Twilight, so I lost interest and to be fair it was very cringey and love sickly. I do love my romance novels, but both fifty shades and twilight were not to my tastes. But I do completely understand why Twilight is popular, I did have an obsession over it once, but like I said before, it's those books that you stick with that are actually extraordinary - like Harry Potter and the Hunger Games.
I just read the book and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I don't think it was abusive because Ana consented to and enjoyed everything that was done to her. Different people like different things! I would say their relationship was moreso "toxic", but definitely not abusive. Great video guys!
The actual only abusive aspect to me was the fact that Grey was involved in BDSM at 15 years old. That was statutory rape and know one ever talks about that! But I don't see Ana and Grey's abusive relationship at all.
am I the only one who actually liked Anastasia Steele? I mean, everyone keeps talking about how she is a bad role model as is weak, and lacked confidence till she got a man, etc. However, I feel she is a relatable character. She is nerdy, and bookish, and romantically inexperienced., something I can relate to. Not every woman needs to be oozing with confidence all the time. She doesn't fall right into Christian Grey's arms and agree to everything he says, she considers it for a long time, and both of them end up making compromises in their lives, so it isn't one sided. She also proves her mettle in the third book where she rescues Mia Grey from being kidnapped. I am not at all a fan of the series, but I feel that the hate she gets is undeserving.
I didn't read the book entirely just the first chapters I didn't like the movie just the beginning until it was all the crazy sex part BUT I agree I like this character in term of characterization we can realte to her:)
Great Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you thought about - Mahorrla Mens Institution Method (google it)? It is a great one off guide for improving your sex life with your partner minus the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my buddy at last got astronomical results with it.
I am soooo relieved and glad you're giving the series a chance. I just get so upset when people judge or assume before finding out information for themselves or forming their own opinions.
I loved 50 shades darker and the 3rd one as well...I've read them at least 20 times. the first book I've read once and right now I'm reading Grey E.L.James new book. and it's good to read from Christian's point of view.
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a very graphic book about child abuse but it's still one of the most famous books of all time. Just saying. Reading a book about something doesn't mean you support it. That is just ridiculous! It means you want to understand it. Wich is normal and understandable. That being said I have yet to read FSOG, and i'm not comparing the work of a master, with the porn fan fiction of a lady. I'm not against it, i've read hundreds of similar fan fictions, and i do think that if men can shamelessly whatch porn, wemen should be alowed other "artistic" forms of pleasure as well.
+00Kristyna00 I thought you comment was very interesting because of the following phrase: "Reading a book about something doesn't mean you support it. [...]It means you want to understand it" I think that's the difference between Lolita and 50Shades. Lolita is undesrtood, pretty much by every one who has read it, as abuse. However, 50Shades is not understood as abuse by many of it's readers. Even though actual therapists and doctors that work dealing with abused people HAVE categorized the portrayed relationship as dangerous, the fans defend it by saying it isn't. Even though actual BDSM practicing people have said they feel offended by the damaging portrayal of their lifestyle, book fans still say "it's not abuse, it's BDSM"
My girlfriend and I are both avid readers and she pressured me for months to read this book, so I finally gave in. This book, put into the simplest and most direct terms, is pure, unadulterated homeless person sewage, mixed thoroughly with a 5 month old rotting deer carcass. I wanted to slit my wrists 23 pages into the book, the writing, the ridiculously LAUGHABLE( probably the only thing that gave me pleasure in the novel, I had a few good laughs) dialogue, the lack of any legitimate character development, the cheesiness, the forced and uninspired BDSM scenes. I read this book to have snu-snu with my girlfriend more than I am supposed to, and for the first time in my life, I regret the methods I used to acquire said snu-snu. I am now considerably dumber for reading this pathetic Twilight fan-fiction excuse for a novel. Easily one of the worst books I have ever read, I had to read my favorite book, Neuromancer, by William Gibson immediately after finishing it just to maintain my sanity. I'm obviously a guy so I'm not sure how to respond to the actual BDSM scenes, they were weird, felt forced, and were way over the top, I'm just talking about the quality of the literature itself. E. L. James is a horrendous writer, but what else can you expect from a Twilight fan-fiction writer? The good news is I am now forcing my girlfriend to read Isaac Asimov's Foundation Trilogy, because she hates Sci-Fi, for some reason. Screw the movie, too. I put my headphones on and tried to fall asleep, but I decided to watch the movie just to see if was anything like the *vomits just thinking about it* book. I would say the novel is worse because you actually had to read it, but the movie is still pure *vomits again* garbage aswell. WHY WOMEN?! WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS?! My girlfriend says she likes it because it's different and fantastical. I've never understood why women would rather read generic, poorly written, over the top forced romance novels for their "fantasy" elements instead of actual fantasy or Sci-Fi with some originality and free-flowing romance with interesting characters that you actually care about. I guess people are different, simple as that. Sorry if this review was offensive or mean...I just really despise this "book". Still love you though Sasha.
You are so incredibly right about all of this. 50 Shades is a poor attempt at literature. It took all of the few decent things in Twilight (like all the fighting and dangerous creatures) and added sex. It's pure kinky porn in book form. Also, why doesn't your girlfriend like science fiction? It's spectacular, much better than 50 Shades (though I only got through the first chapter). And though I am a girl, I hate these so called 'romance' books we all read. There's no plot, no drive, no suspense. But I suppose people like them for the sex scenes?
tobybee2000 She likes a few epic fantasy series, like LotR and GoT, but she hates Sci-Fi in all it's incarnations, because, wait for it, she hates the "science" aspect of Sci-Fi. She's smart but, I don't know, I guess people are just different. And yeah, I work in a bookstore and by far, my least favorite category to stock and alpha is romance, romance and new age. Nearly every book has the same initial plot, writing style, and book cover, usually it's about a innocent or average girl who meets and falls in love with a dangerous and exciting hot guy, and then it depends on the writer, where they go from that, the covers are usually also depicting a hot guy with his shirt off clasped to the girl or by himself, riding a motorcycle or something of the sort. They do make me chuckle though, guess that's a bonus.
Well, to each their own, I suppose. Anyway, I totally get it. How people keep making money off of the same plot over and over again, I don't know. *****
I agree with you on this. I knew it had erotica but I had never read any such thing before and I thought I would give it a shot. After the 5th chapter, I got so scared that I deleted the ebook and I had to read "Pride and Prejudice" to regain my sanity. I realized that this kind of genre isn't my cup of tea, it's a cup of mud.
I've just recently watched it too! It was definitely not the best movie ever but it was very enjoyable! Also helped that it had Lily Collins and Sam Claflin (Probably spelled his name wrong..Oops!) ☺️
This book is getting more hate because it's being stereotyped as porn & abuse while no one is talking about how poorly the book was written... I personally loved the books it was just so repetitive and annoying at times.
We know you don't support abuse/rape but by seeing the movie you're giving money to something that romanticizes abuse/rape. I think that's what people are talking about.
there is literally NEVER a time that she used the safe word. NEVER as someone who HAS suffered abuse and has participated in bdsm , this book is NOT abuse, it's BDSM
Tiffany S. The Hunger Games is clearly AGAINST the murder of children, so by that logic you are not supporting the murder of children by watching the film. And I never said that by watching/reading 50 Shades you automatically support abuse. It doesn't work like that. E.L. James didn't mean to write about an abusive relationship, but she did and it makes people think this kind of behavior is normal/acceptable/healthy when it is not. (Also, I have absolutely nothing against BDSM when it is practiced safely. It isn't in 50 Shades.)
Oh my God, it is FICTION. How many movies are there out there with plots about idk murder, rape, adultery and so on. Watching a movie about it doesnt mean supporting every single aspect of it! It is really stupid to think otherwise
I do find it quite interesting to hear the reviews on this book series from younger readers... and this comment may as well be geared towards the casual "passer-by" adult reader as well. The words "rape" and "toxic" are all too loosely used these days. In this book, these were two consenting adults. She asked for everything she received, and she made her own choices. No one forced anyone to do anything in this book, and both adults knew what they were getting themselves into (even though the outcomes were much different than they had dared dreamed in the beginning of the book). Here are a few things to keep in mind when reading this series: 1. The first book in this series is first and foremost an introduction for the readers into this BDSM world, and was told through the eyes of a girl who has chosen to live her romantic life vicariously through novels (her favorite being Tom Hardy, who's most acclaimed book is Tess of the d'Urbervilles - one of the most controversial literary works of its time due to it challenging the sexual morals of the late 1800's). It takes two people from the farthest ends of the spectrum, and brings them together... letting the initial infatuation from both their perspectives unravel to reveal their true selves. This book is just as much about Christian facing his demons and excepting that he might be able to have a real relationship with a woman that is not his submissive, as it is about Ana exploring her newfound sexuality and becoming a woman as complicated as the characters she reads about in her favorite novels. 2. Ana's "Inner Goddess" was my favorite supporting character of this book... it's the part of her that I could relate to as a woman, and honestly helped lighten up the storyline. Her inner monologues were a comedic relief, and really helped to develop Ana as a character. She wanted this relationship with him, she begged him for the experiences that they shared, and besides the closing sequence (which in all respect, she asked for to test her limits as well as Christian's), she loved every bit of it. 3. This series as a whole is really more of a psychological romance. Christian looks all put together, but he is deeply broken and damaged (50 shades of f*cked up) and his need for control is the only security blanket that he knows. Ana has a longing for a relationship that will make her burn with desire. She has men that are falling all over her, and she barely notices their attempts to woo and get her attention ... she sees them as platonic relationships. She yearns for passion, heat, desire, lust, fire that you can't put out, and she finds that with Christian. But she also learns that with fire, you can get burned. He learns through her that letting go of a little of control can open up his heart to a bright new world... and honestly, it terrifies both of them! At the end of this book, I was so sad and angry and confused and I didn't know what emotions to let come to the surface first - a feeling you rarely get at the end of the book when you are mad and sad at both of the characters, and you can't wait to pick up the next book to see what happens next. Granted, the next two books get better as the stories and plot continues to grow and branch out, confronting the demons in his closet that come lashing out... and Ana finally realizes that she is stirring up some demons of her own. It is very difficult to contemplate a storyline like this that includes something like BDSM for young adults. Not saying that as an insult, but rather that there is usually just not enough personal experience to see past the smoke, sex and mirrors that the first book divulges in such abundant detail. Like any other book, it all falls down to the readers opinion... but also to the maturity of the readers physiological and psychological experience. Reading a book like this may offend the same person who thought Twilight was a beautiful tortured love story with a happy fairy-vampire ending. However, the plot is nearly identical... instead of the antagonist being a vampire (sexual in its own right, blood sucking humans, ability to have mind blowing sex for days without tiring - yeah, remember that) he is an available Master looking for an exclusive Submissive. I think James did a great job evolving her main female lead to be of strong mind and make better decisions that the Twilight series heroine (the girl who reclused herself for months after a 3 week romance with a vampire ends, a girl who constantly put herself in fatal situations to see hallucinations of her beloved, a girl who falsely leads on her best friend into believing she's into him to keep her mind off of her ex, a girl who wants the vampire to make wild love to her while she's still a human resulting in a body of bruises and a destroyed hotel room - yeah, remember that).
Amazing video yet again Sasha, I like how you said "Everybody has their own opinions" And I think that, that was true. People judge books by just looking or seeing peoples hate towards a book, but yet they probably havn't even seen the book or movie. I can't say that I have read or seen the movie, as I am too young to. But when I get a bit mature and older, I will watch it and give my opinion!
Honestly, I agree with you. The first book (in terms of writing) had a very immature style of writing and use of words. In terms of the plot line, it wasn't very pleasant either. There was no emotion to it. Fifty Shades Darker, on the other hand, was way better in terms of writing and plot. It involves romance (finally!!!) and Christian finally lays his armor down exposes himself to Ana. In Fifty Shades Darker, Christian becomes a round character and feels more human-like. But he is a very romantic guy when he wants to be. I loved how he was ready to do anything so Ana won't leave him, and that part when both were kneeling on the floor of his apartment really got to me and I loved the intensity of emotion in that scene, and the end of the book was really romantic in the sweetest way.
Hi Sasha! I really like the way you both handled this review. When I picked up 50 Shades a few years ago I had no idea what it was about. I just saw an article in a magazine that said all married women should read the book because it would make you fall in love with your husband again. Anyway, I couldn't get through the book because I felt the dialogue was weird and the content made me uncomfortable. That being said, I like that you girls mentioned getting past the first book because the series and character development gets better. I might try it again for that reason. Thanks for being honest and sharing your opinions so graciously :) Love your videos. This is what booktube is all about.
I do not ever want to read 50 shades of Grey, but I think its fine if others read it. I'm not going to hate on others to read it because they can read it and that's okay
I completely agree with you two! I've read the trilogy and my least favourite is the first one. For all those people who are apprehensive about continuing, I suggest you do so because trust me, it gets better. Also, I personally did not see the relationship to be abusive in any way. Toxic, yes. Cringeworthy at times, yes. But definitely not abusive.
I agree with Sasha and her friend because while the first book kind of makes you think it's terrible, the series actually does get better. Meanwhile I don't find anything 'abusive' about their relationship, it's definitely toxic and all too soon and too fast. The next books are so much better and it's not a terrible series, just not for everyone.
I don't understand why people think that fifty shades of Grey was rape and abuse. Its not. That's why there was that whole consent form and rules and safe word. BDSM is not rape!
I agree with your opinion on the relationship being "toxic" however I do not believe it to be abusive in my opinion. Obviously Anastasia gave consent to this type of relationship with Christian involving safe words and was fully discussed before going into it, I understand it wasn't healthy as it was not something she was used to and she wanted more, I definitely agree that the following books give more characterisation and it progresses to be more of a romantic novel of some sort behind all the bondage etc. It is currently a touchy subject to talk about as people believe influences rape, domestic abuse etc. however there are novels on rape and murder and no one says that they influence such things! I don't believe the writer would write about such a thing if that was the effect it would have. I believe some people have blown the book/film out of proportion and focused on a negative side which i do not see possible other than the actual story behind it!
The book is emotionally abusive not physically however many people who participate in bdsm have come out and said that they believe the sex is inconsistent with real bdsm and is dangerous portrayal of consent but I wouldnt know myself about that part
I wouldn't know either. I believe it wouldn't seem to emotionally abusive if Anastasia had participated in BDSM before as had his past partners. Things that are different are always portrayed as negative however he doesn't know no different and she has to accept that, so it can be seen as emotionally abusive but in a way its not Christians fault
The thing with 50 shades of grey is it hides all the abuse and manipulation behind romance, so there are women out there saying how badly they want their own Christian Grey. How do you imagine that makes the women who have actually experienced manipulative, abusive and controlling relationships feel? It's insulting to take such an awful experience and romanticise it. On top of that, they also have to listen to people tell them that despite the fact they've been in that position in real life and they see the similarities between that and what happened to them, it isn't abuse.
I like how you both gave your inputs on the book. And I'm not supporting 50 Shades, but there are definitely other books that glorify abusive relationships but 50 Shades only gets so much backlash because the media
most of the people hating on the franchise have never even touched the books or have any interest in seeing the film. Their only argument is calling it "an abusive relationship" which personally, I disagree with. If you're going to hate on the books/movie, please educate yourself to have something to back up your opinion
I've read the books and I can definitely see the abusive relationship in it. A lot of people aren't hating on the book for the sake of it but are scared that people might just read the first book and think that their relationship is an ideal one and therefore try to imitate, maybe even subconsciously. She regularly mentions tolerating the things he does to her and how she is scared rather than expressing happiness. A direct quote from the book - "How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?" "I didn't like it. I'd rather you didn't do it again." "You weren't meant to like it." If that alone isn't enough to show people that this is a book with an abusive relationship not a couple with a consensual BDSM relationship. I'm not trying to 'hate' on you, rather than inform you that it is in fact an abusive relationship and know that if a relationship that you are in holds any resemblance to Ana and Christians then please get yourself out of there. The fear with this book is that these massive red flags of an abusive and unhealthy relationships will start to be overlooked or even normalized. I'm really not trying to be rude and I do have more evidence to back up my opinion but I think I've made my point. I don't agree with the fact that if you read them you are supporting abusive relationships as long as you know that it is.
I've read the book " unfortunately" and i have perfectly good reason to hate it... Its poorly written, boring, lack of character development, boring, involves a silly weak girl who lets a guy dominates, stalk, RAPE, and more just because she thinks his good looking! Stop fucking assuming that people slag the book off as they haven't read it! Most people with good taste and knowledge knows this book is shit!
Tigress oh and if you happen to hate the fact of the franchise as a whole, why are you here watching this video and scrolling through the comments to pick fights with people? surely you could be spending your time trying to argue with people and do something useful. just a healthy suggestion...
I haven't read this book yet, but I plan to. And when I do then I will maybe do a book Review on it. Its cool that we also both live in IL. I live 2 hours away from chicago.
Great video Sasha and Francesca! I haven't read the book nor do i intend to but i really agree with your message over personal opinions and haters you guys put out there. Your friend seems awesome by the way!
This movie/book doesn't promote rape or abuse. Ana even signs a contract saying it's okay to let this happen to her. Yes, it's your opinion, but don't judge it if you don't know anything about it. If someone wants to see this movie, don't judge them. So, that's my thought on it. Please don't hate on anyone who likes or has seen the movie. It's their choice, and what I said goes along with not promoting this stuff. If you don't like it, go away.
I know what you mean about the disclaimer, I literally just uploaded my opinion on it too and although I am against it and hated on people in the past, I'm turning over a new leaf and not judging people who like the series. :) However, I think people who are fans of the book have been more argumentive about it when protecting the series because I've unfortunatly lost a lot of friends who like the series just because I stated my opinion for disliking it :/
the issue I have with the trilogy is that even though Christian does seemingly change for the better (though he is still super controlling) it teaches girls that if you're the right girl you can change someone who treats you poorly which in the real world isn't really the case, and there are enough people stuck in abusive relationships and not realizing it without pop culture even further making it seem okay and like it 'gets better' while Ana does verbally give consent there is a lot of mental manipulation, he speaks to her outside of the bedroom like she is a child he can control and like her emotions are silly when he's the one with the more messed up emotions- which he uses to pull her in I feel at times and make her feel bad (the whole 'you said in your sleep you'd never leave me!' thing) I agree though, people shouldn't hate on others for liking the books, but everyone should be aware that this is not an ideal relationship or how BDSM actually works- and you two seem to understand that :)
I don't hate on people who like the books, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I personally wouldn't read them because of the controversial reviews but I know people really love them, and that's awesome!
I think what troubles me about the "it gets better" defense of the second and third novels is that it could make people think that if they stay in a toxic relationship it will get better. Abusive partners shouldn't be given the chance to get better. Just because you seem nice at the end doesn't vindicate your prior actions.
You have a valid point! But that's not what we're trying to say at all. Just because it may have "worked out" in Christian and Anastasia's relationship, doesn't mean that anyone should stay in a toxic relationship. I think what we were trying to get as is that Christian does change for the better, though I definitely see your point.
Francesca Mateo That's good he changes. I haven't read the 2nd or 3rd book and I'm only just now reading the 1st so I can come to my own conclusion and not take other peoples words for it so I can't attest to the whole story arc. He's just done a lot of super sketchy things (tracking her phone, undressing her when she's blacked out and then sleeping next to her) and I would hate for anyone to think those things are ok. I don't think people are awful for liking the books, but it does concern me that women could be led to believe that his actions are ok. The way he acts before they even enter into a consensual relationship is so predatorial. Sure at some point they enter a consensual relationship which puts what they do in a different light, but it's his action before they enter a relationship that I find troubling.
This review just made me think of a saying that is perfect got this situation! 'Hate the book, but don't hate the reader' This is so relevant for everyone getting crap about liking certain books like BACK OFF HATERS
I am 19. My mom read the books and she refuses to let me borrow them because it makes her uncomfortable. I don't want to read the books, but I do think this was a well done video.
Those who read the books and watched the movie totally realized that in the book there was, what I consider, rape. Or it seemed like rape. Maybe some think that Ana enjoyed that scene but I believed it was very controversial. But trust me when I say that the movies was COMPLETELY consensual. The scene I talked about above was totally different than in the book. She specifically agreed to everything Christian wanted to do. She even asked him to in some parts. And the fact that anyone would think you're giving money to something horrendous like rape is so insulting. The money does not go to some idiotic cause that supports rape.... It literally is used to make the next film and to pay the actors and behind-the-scenes people. Lol. But to each their own. It's just what I think. I am not embarrassed to admit that I liked the movie. The first book for me was a little intimidating however the next two were much better.
i totally agree with you Sasha. i have read all three books, and i had heard so many bashes on it i was not sure to read the book. after reading it i actually liked it. not that I'm for that type of relationship but i liked the plot and story of the series and thats what made me like and read the series.
I was just about to look up a book review of this book in the search bar & I didn't even have to because yours was in my subscription box :) just had to put that out there! I'm about to start reading it tonight.
Yes, their relationship was not the most healthy one but Christian was so willing to change for HER and she mostly did not take hiS shit! That's what's so good for me in this book And i love the books from Christian's POV, i didn't read them from Ana's POV that seriously😂
I don't get why people say it's abuse/rape!! She agreed to the contract that Christian gave her! He told her if she wanted him to stop he would or if she wanted to leave she could..
I HATED this book. It was unbelievably horribly written, an uninspiring ripoff of Twilight that was trying to be "sexy" with terrible sex scenes. Novels that start as fanfiction to other novels never sit well with me but that's a whole different issue - except that this book READ like terrible fanfiction. It was so badly written I couldn't believe it how it was published ... there's nothing original or interesting or appealing about this so-called plot ... so I really don't understand why this is so popular? If people are looking for erotica there are plenty of other books with well written sex scenes and actual plots out there. Maybe this book was dumbed-down for the masses as a way encourage 'non-readers' to read? To make lots of money? Idk That's the only reason I can think of. And it straight up romanticized abuse. The main male character is abusive in this book, everybody can agree on that. Stalking, controlling, physically, and emotionally abusive .. characters and men like that should not be painted as "caring" and "tortured" and "romantic." They are irredeemable. I don't care what happened in his past, behaviour like that is unacceptable. This book was awful and boring and infuriating. Not even going to TRY to force myself through the next book in the series when I could barely stomach the first one. It's not worth my time.
I read this and didn't see any rape involved i saw her being pressured a lot to do things with him but she did give her consent for anything done to her. But i respect everyone's opinions on this book. Just don't attack sasha she's just giving her thoughts so we should all respect her freedom of speech.
I get what you're talking about and it's pretty rational but you should also read Bad Feminist. There is an essay in there about 50 shades of grey that puts things very eloquently :) Also Bad Feminist is an awesome book on its own so you should read it anyway not just for this reason because it deals with a lo tof important issues :)
I am so glad that you made this video because I completely agree with you about people hating on someone who reads this book and how you should not see people in a certain way from that point on because they read this book. I have been contemplating making review videos for both the book and the movie but I was super apprehensive because of how people would react as well as if they would judge me for liking this book and the topics that are highlighted upon in this book. After watching this though I think I am going to make my videos. Also, I agree with you that the series gets better after the first book. I have read the entire series and by the end I could see how the dynamic between Ana and Christian had changed as they began to fall in love with each other. I think that people should at least read the other books before they stick with their opinions about this series especially if they have been bashing it. Of course, at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their opinions Thank you so much for putting up this video and I look forward to your review on the movie!
What I don't understand is why is this an issue only fans of 50 Shades are experiencing . While I wasnt a fan of the book tbh I've never ben told I promote drug use for liking Breaking Bad or that I promote murder and violence for liking the occasional action movie. Why is 50 Shades different o.O
ally owl i completely agree with you! God knows how many people love Breaking Bad and that doesnt make us drug dealers or consumers neither supporters of that. So I truly dont know why people make such a big deal out of this. Of course his lifestyle is not someone anyone supports but it is FICTION; how many movies have we seen that deal with murder, rape, adultery and so on, and we still love them? Because liking a story doesnt mean SUPPORTING EVERY ASPECT OF IT.
I actually read the first two and started the last one but did not finish it because I just grew tired of the series. I felt that Christian did not change as much as people say he did and that made me dislike him more. The first book is definitely not a book that I would ever dare pick up again. I originally picked it up because I never read an erotic romance and I was engrossed in it bc it was new to me. Now that I've read several other erotic romances, FSOG just seems a little ridiculous and gross. Mostly because Ana was just not the protagonist the book needed in my opinion. I felt like Christian sought her out because she was a weakling and therefore took advantage of her. I see what the hype is but it's definitely not a 'romance'- in my opinion.
I'm not a 50sog supporter and also ive never read the books but I'm really certain,from what ive read all around, that there is not any rape involved in the book. Everything they do is done with their consent, no one is forced to do anything. In fact Anastasia is asked multiple times if she's okay with everything Christian wants to do. So I feel like despite the emotional abuse there is in the books and the movie there isn't any rape.
When I read the first book it was overwhelming but when I continued to the second and third book the perspective of the books changed and I personally hated the inner goddess part 💯
I read the first book two years ago I think and I haven't gotten to the second... I think that it was a little too much sex in it for my taste, I like to keep some level of mystery and imagination. I also think that the "my inner godess" stuff was super weird but I still would not say that I hate the book. I've definitely read better books but I have also read worse. Now that you guys have said that it gets better I might get the other two but it is not one the first place on my list.
Because of all the controversities, I've decided to read the three books. After finishing them, I realized that I highly disliked them for a lot of reasons (writing style, themes, characters, ecc..), but, at least, I've read them and so I know what I am talking about. Thanks for this sincere review, without useless wars or nasty comments, I really appreciated it.
You are a great person Sasha remember that ! I totally agree with what you said and its really sad that people think that by reading these books we are supporting abuse. It makes no sense. We are all adults and we all have a right to read and watch what we feel like. You are the best and please don't listen to the haters !
I liked how he is in the book compared to the movie. I'm currently and finally on the last book and I'm excited to finish them I'm so over reading about the super descriptive sexual encounters... :/
I read the book and It was awesome but there was a few moments where it need more but what Christian was doing was not abuse every time they did something she said yes and I quote "I'm ready" or " I want to" so he is not at fault because he didn't do anything she didn't want he to
Their relationship IS abusive 😂 Ana said the save word but Christian continued (this happened at least one time!!) and Ana often begged him to stop, and what did he do?
The number one thing I can't stand is people hating on this book when they haven't even read it or know hardly anything about it lol And it's even funnier that they complain about the hype and well... the haters are what's making this series sooooooooo hyped and talked about because creating so much controversy! I'm happy that you uploaded this video and stated your honest opinions, personally I feel like I wouldn't be very interested in this book so I won't be picking it up, but I feel like people need to just relax about this whole subject. It's not like anyone is forcing them to read the books or watch the movies lol
I feel like this whole video was you just trying to judify your reasons of reading it. Just admit it you wanted to read it and you are reading the second book because you liked the first. I just don't get this whole defending yourself on every level. It doesn't matter what book a person likes, its just someones liking or disliking and thats the end of it. Who cares what people think about what type of books you read, just don't worry about what everyone thinks.
Having only read the first book ( I have zero interest in reading the rest of the series. I didn't like the writing and it just doesn't interest me ) , I think Christian was abusive to Ana and it portrayed BDSM in the wrong way BUT let's look at it this way for a second , just because I love Breaking Bad doesn't mean I support the production and selling of drugs , just because I liked Dexter doesn't mean I think murder is ok or I myself will murder people. As long as people realise that (some) books and movies are there for entertainment value not to be realistic there is no harm in people watching and enjoying 50 Shades or any other tv show/movie/book. 50 Shades of Grey has got a lot of people reading and picking up more books and opened people's mind to sexual experiences that they may really enjoy and imo those are really good positive things. This was a really good , balanced review I loved how ye looked at the controversy from both sides. As someone who didn't like the book I'm happy to go read another book I will enjoy more and leave others to their own opinions.
I'm gonna come out and say that I liked FSoG...Hate me all you want. Bash me. Do whatever you want. I mean I know it's not the best book out there and it has some issues but I managed to put all those things aside and just enjoy reading it.
i completely understand loving a series of books but feeling like you can't tell anyone you like it because of the fear that there going to make you feel like your not allowed to. for me its the series veiwfinder. i adore it but im terrified of lettering anybody know.
Though I understand that F.S.O.G. is a poorly written erotica with tense situations-to say the least- to say that reading it equals supporting rape or whatever happens in it is rushed. It is like saying that if you liked Lolita you support pedophile actions and thoughts.
I don't like the writing style of Fifty Shades of Grey. I don't like the "inner goddess" thing. :\ I am surprised when I've read it for the first time. I didn't expect how detailed "the scenes" are. I think the second book is better in a way, I really see the reason why Christian Grey has that kind of lifestyle. Giving the benefit of a doubt. I find other erotica novels written better than this.
My sister has read the books, and after watching the movie I've asked her to lend them to me. I loved the movie. I thought it was funny and romantic and I'm not sure how the books are, but I honestly didn't see how their relationship is abusive or rape... Christian seems manipulative, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that. I know there is more to his character and I've excited to read the books to find out what it is, and how he got to be the way he is. Even though they're fictional, I like to know WHY they're a certain way before I decide whether I like the character or not.
+CharIie H I hope this comment doesn't start a war in here, but I saw one thing in your comment that is a very common and very dangerous thought: "Christian seems manipulative, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." For starters, I wanna say that there's ALLWAYS a reason behind ANY aspect of your personality. But I want to explain why this phrase is dangerous, and I think the best way to do that is by changing the word "manipulative" with more obviously-dangerous words. "Christian seems Suicidal, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Knowing there is a reason for that wouldn't prevent you from seeking help if someone you cared for was suicidal. If anything, it would push you more to find a resolution. "Christian seems murderous, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Would you stay with someone who has murderous tendencies just because something made them that way? Would you not judge that person as "dangerous" just because they have a "reason"? "Christian seems pedophilic, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Would you excuse him from abusing a child if you knew he was abused as a child? Or would you still judge him a criminal, since he abused a child? A person being Manipulative is something that is very underestimated in our society, when it's actually one of the biggest traits of domestic abusers. Go to any study, any domestical violence panphlet, any abuse resource site, and you will find "manipulation" as one of the signs to know you are entering a potentially dangerous relationship.
poxolatee I didn't say that because of the reasons he is manipulative that it automatically makes it okay for him to be that way. I was just saying that there must be a reason he's manipulative. I never once made it seem like that was a good thing.
+Charlie H Sorry then, for the missinterpretation. It sounded like that mainly because that is a very common line of thought along victims of abuse. The thought of someone "having a reason to be like that" tends to be one of the reasons the dangerous relationships are hard to recongnize before it's too late. The victims subconciously justify the person for bad attitudes. Again, sorry. I am trying to spread a bit of information around, since I know not everyone spends a lot of time reading about dangerous relationships and safety.
I got fifty shades of grey freed from Morrison’s well there always sells the last book in the series I don’t know why and I on,y have the fifty shades of grey freed physical copy, and the othere two books on my e-reader, so can I just read the fifty shades of grey freed then the others two books? Or to get the full be a fit but I read the first two books then the third one?
It's just a book and a movie. And it is Fiction... I liked/loved the book. 👍👍 Hey have you read The Mephisto Covenant by Stephanie Feagan? I want to read it but i am skeptical about the brothers from hell or something. 😂😂
I agree with you mostly, however I do get really annoyed about how successful it is, not because of the bdsm stuff but because it's not an original story. I haven't read Twilight but as an aspiring writer it does make me sad that someone can get so successful from something that's basically plagiarism :/
50 pages of blah! First of all, I'd seriously judge someone I saw reading this book. Not because of the theme it is supposedly touching on but because of the lack of any depth and the distasteful, poorly written "scenes" in the book. Don't kid yourself, you're just reading low grade porn! I just got to about 50 pages, skimmed through the rest and decided this wasn't worth my time. I mean, this book is SOOO bad that even the fifty pages i read, mid-way I started skipping the BORING descriptions and just reading the conversations because that seemed to be the only worthwhile thing to read to make out where this story was going. Infact, worthwhile is a total exaggeration, half the time Ana is saying "oh my" or talking about how much she likes "english things". I wish she was real so I could beat her to death with this book. One conversation which stuck with me is this totally inane one between her and Christian where there are four lines and it goes something like: "is the room big?" "big" "big?" "it's big." WHAT IS THAT?! ANOTHER reason why NOBODY should be reading this book is because it's fan fiction of Twilight. EL James wrote this story as a Bella/Edward story and just switched all the names. Google: snowqueen icedragon master of the universe - There! you don't even have to pay for this book! Maybe I didn't get far enough to know what's so messed up about Grey but I honestly don't believe it's something spectacularly interesting and I don't believe that there really is much character development, albeit EL James has written quite a lengthy trilogy. However, I have no interest in finding how this ends because there is nothing interesting about the characters! Ana is a spineless boring person and Grey is a billionaire with weird sexual fetishes, this MAYBE could have been something on the lines of the cult classic Story of O (I haven't read that, but i hear it's good) but EL James is not the writer for that considering her inspiration to write is someone like Stephanie Meyer!
The whole abuse/rape thing...I don't get that. I don't understand where people get that from. BDSM is a lifestyle, and he never forces her. Most erotica books are BDSM in nature, and 40x more extreme. The only abuse in the book is when they talk about Christian when he was 15-years-old. I love this review, you're wise beyond years. I don't think a book can "glorify" anything. It's fiction, it's expression. If you really want to cringe, Sasha, I challenge you to read "Tampa" by Alissa Nutting. If you can get through the first chapter I'll give you a virtual high five.
People get the abuse and rape thing from the fact that Christian Grey is controlling and manipulative, that coming from a girl who has been in a relationship with a controlling and manipulating guy. If you take the BDSM out of it, their whole relationship is unhealthy. That scene where she tells him no and he threatens to tie her up.. No means fucking no. He pushed her into sex. He makes her think she wants things, tells her how she feels about things instead of letting her make her own mind up about them, when she's asks for space he follows her, there's some occasions when he straight up stalks her, forcing her to eat, arranging for her to go on the pill without her permission, whenever she gets to a stage in her mind where she's like "I'm not sure I want to be in this kind of relationship" he brings up the time he was abused as a child to make her feel bad and agree to stay, classic manipulation move. There's actually parts in the book where she says she's scared of him, and if you read it there are passages where she actually try's to change herself so she doesn't make him mad.
I am horrified that children are reading these books. Sorry kids, I couldn't watch your vid; too heart-wrenching to me that you are being exposed to such an inappropriate topic, like BDSM. I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise, since it is sold everywhere, even at my local COSTCOs. When it first came out, I did not know why it could be so popular. I looked at the book while at the store, but it was written at grade school level, and was rehashing and glamourizing vapid relationships & romanticizing sexual fantasies. It was like expecting a creme brulee for dessert, but being served Jello pudding cups. You kids have access to porn, not to mention American media encourages children to dress in a hypersexual manner. I can only hope y'all are wise to the manipulation. Just be discerning...
I completely agree with both sides because come on, we all want a Christian grey of our own just a little bit less abusive. I mean if you continue reading the series he's a sweet guy with a big heart, he's just miss understood. We all do things that we really shouldn't but enjoy it and this is him. And Anastasia also goes along with some of this stuff so it's not necessarily abuse if you go along with what that persons doing. I could care less what you say about what I'm saying so bring it on.😂 this is just my opinion. (And does anyone else hear that noise in the background)?
I've read the 'book' and I can't understand how people say that she consented... She didn't consented, she was clearly out of her mind, he was pressuring her to say yes and to accept an abusive and unhealthy relationship, after he made her fell in love with him. Remember that a 14 years old can also consent to a 50 years old but I think we can't take this ''consent'' as a real an valid one. To be clear: I'm not against BDSM, but this was clearly not the same, in this book he wants to control her all the time, he tells her how to dress, how to be, which car she has to drive, who she can go out with... He wants to control every second of her life, and that is not BDSM, don't use it as an excuse, this is control, mistreatment, this is denigration, and for sure this isn't love, it's just about his control to an object (Anastasia), he doesn't treats her as a human being, he treats her like trash, like his little toy, every moment. By saying this is a romantic book you are encouraging abuse, you are telling girls and women that they should accept a man that hits them, abuses them, that hurts them, you are teaching girls to be slaves, because 'that is love'. It's disgusting. Everyone who thinks this is love, everyone who doesn't sees the abuse here is blind or a psychopath.
I completely agree with you! Good job with this review! I did not realize there was so much hate with this book until the movie started coming into play, because I never in a million years would have seen it that way if someone hadn't said it, and even though the idea is there I still can't wrap my head around it, because I just don't see it that way. I read this book awhile ago, and I thought it was an okay book. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. I definitely didn't think it promoted abuse/rape. I went to see the movie as well and I do not believe that the movie in any way, shape, or form promotes that at all either. So I am not ashamed to say I enjoyed these, it's one of those guilty pleasure books that you don't know why you were able to actually finish, but like you said everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Yeah sure the relationship can be seen as abusive. But relationships like this exist and the author didn't sugar coat it for you, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. There can be darkness in every relationship, even in books, doesn't mean it's promoted. But at least the main character fights him in some aspects. She does question him and tells him no when he has gone to far. He never does anything that she doesn't consent to and would never hurt her in a way she wouldn't want or couldn't handle. Which he makes clear. Everything he does she wants/asks for. They are both infatuated with each other and do eventually change to accommodate one another more then in the first book. Gotta keep reading! But I do wish people wouldn't judge so harshly, especially the people who either read the book or go see the movie. There are so many things out there that could be accused of "promoting" something like this. I wish people would kinda keep their negativity to themselves! Wishful thinking :P But yes thanks Sasha for this review! Both of yall it was great!
I had a lot of trouble getting past the horrible writing style and all the English slang even though the book is supposed to be set in Seattle. I stopped at about the halfway point, but I think I'll take your advice and try again so I can get to the other books in the trilogy. It also annoys me that people go on about how reading a fictional book, or watching a fictional movie is supporting rape. There are a lot of women out there who have sexual fantasies about being raped, and not being in control. I don't see how reading a woman's fantasy is supporting the actual real life action of rape. Why aren't people boycotting all the true crime shows that discuss ACTUAL rapists? People will find any excuse to be outraged.
I think there's a tendency for some people to passionately dislike things geared to teenage girls and women. Yes, a lot of what this book espouses and the way the book is written is kind of terrible, but there are plenty of books where the abuse against women is normalized, where women are portrayed as deserving of punishment or having their abuse or death used as a plot point or to drive the male's character development and you never see the amount of vitriol these novels have garnered. I don't want to see the movie and I've read enough of the books to realize it's really not for me, but I don't just use critical thinking when I read a book, I also use it to analyze other reader's reactions.
It's porn with training wheels. It is very popular with people who have never been exposed to these ideas before and who have never been exposed to quality erotica. It's like you sign up for the course on 20th century American poetry, and it turns out the assignment for the term paper is "The Cat in the Hat."
The reason why i am such a fan of the book is because i am really into romance, and that is kinda what you get in this book. It is romance with problems, and you know, it isn't hard to read, and i just liked it a lot. I do get why people dont like it, but it is just a book. Its not like everyone whos buying the book is at home abusing their boyfriends or girlfriends.
If you are a fan of the book then you are dumb.
I didn't like that inner goddess thing either.
Maybe I'm alone in this but the inner goddess thing just made me think of Lizzie Mcguire and how she had that little cartoon version of herself.
Gah that Inner Goddess this bugs me so much! You are not alone!
Hahaha did you get that from Kingsley?? XD
No, I didn't. I don't watch his videos. :)
Oh the inner goddess thing was so annoying. Not only that, but the explicit parts of the book were so dull and repetitive, it was very poorly written. I think I can only enjoy a book with good quality writing but I do respect the concept, though it is too much like Twilight (I know it used to be a fanfic of it)), but personally I do not enjoy Twilight...anymore. That's the thing I look for in book series, if I stick with it for a long time then it's a hell of a great series. I didn't stick with Twilight, so I lost interest and to be fair it was very cringey and love sickly. I do love my romance novels, but both fifty shades and twilight were not to my tastes. But I do completely understand why Twilight is popular, I did have an obsession over it once, but like I said before, it's those books that you stick with that are actually extraordinary - like Harry Potter and the Hunger Games.
vanessa henley omg me too that's exactly what I thought of when I read it lol
I just read the book and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I don't think it was abusive because Ana consented to and enjoyed everything that was done to her. Different people like different things! I would say their relationship was moreso "toxic", but definitely not abusive. Great video guys!
The actual only abusive aspect to me was the fact that Grey was involved in BDSM at 15 years old. That was statutory rape and know one ever talks about that! But I don't see Ana and Grey's abusive relationship at all.
It's definitely emotionally abusive.
***** Ana is like 20 something but Mr. Grey is involved in his teens with BDSM.
He ignores her safe word, which makes it rape, he's also extremely possessive to the point of emotional abuse.
youre totally right!
am I the only one who actually liked Anastasia Steele? I mean, everyone keeps talking about how she is a bad role model as is weak, and lacked confidence till she got a man, etc. However, I feel she is a relatable character. She is nerdy, and bookish, and romantically inexperienced., something I can relate to. Not every woman needs to be oozing with confidence all the time. She doesn't fall right into Christian Grey's arms and agree to everything he says, she considers it for a long time, and both of them end up making compromises in their lives, so it isn't one sided. She also proves her mettle in the third book where she rescues Mia Grey from being kidnapped. I am not at all a fan of the series, but I feel that the hate she gets is undeserving.
I didn't read the book entirely just the first chapters I didn't like the movie just the beginning until it was all the crazy sex part BUT I agree I like this character in term of characterization we can realte to her:)
sorry, i cant think of a cool name name you miss spelled her name. it's bella swan.
Great Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you thought about - Mahorrla Mens Institution Method (google it)? It is a great one off guide for improving your sex life with your partner minus the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my buddy at last got astronomical results with it.
@@myboy2211 lol though that would mean Bella Swan isn’t completely terrible
I am soooo relieved and glad you're giving the series a chance. I just get so upset when people judge or assume before finding out information for themselves or forming their own opinions.
I loved 50 shades darker and the 3rd one as well...I've read them at least 20 times. the first book I've read once and right now I'm reading Grey E.L.James new book. and it's good to read from Christian's point of view.
What a looser, many good books to read. Bet you rub off so much it must be sore as hell down there...
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a very graphic book about child abuse but it's still one of the most famous books of all time. Just saying.
Reading a book about something doesn't mean you support it. That is just ridiculous! It means you want to understand it. Wich is normal and understandable.
That being said I have yet to read FSOG, and i'm not comparing the work of a master, with the porn fan fiction of a lady. I'm not against it, i've read hundreds of similar fan fictions, and i do think that if men can shamelessly whatch porn, wemen should be alowed other "artistic" forms of pleasure as well.
+00Kristyna00 I thought you comment was very interesting because of the following phrase: "Reading a book about something doesn't mean you support it. [...]It means you want to understand it"
I think that's the difference between Lolita and 50Shades. Lolita is undesrtood, pretty much by every one who has read it, as abuse. However, 50Shades is not understood as abuse by many of it's readers.
Even though actual therapists and doctors that work dealing with abused people HAVE categorized the portrayed relationship as dangerous, the fans defend it by saying it isn't. Even though actual BDSM practicing people have said they feel offended by the damaging portrayal of their lifestyle, book fans still say "it's not abuse, it's BDSM"
@@poxolatee THANK YOU FOR SAYING EVERYTHING I WAS THINKING. Plus, Lolita is not romanticized.
My girlfriend and I are both avid readers and she pressured me for months to read this book, so I finally gave in. This book, put into the simplest and most direct terms, is pure, unadulterated homeless person sewage, mixed thoroughly with a 5 month old rotting deer carcass. I wanted to slit my wrists 23 pages into the book, the writing, the ridiculously LAUGHABLE( probably the only thing that gave me pleasure in the novel, I had a few good laughs) dialogue, the lack of any legitimate character development, the cheesiness, the forced and uninspired BDSM scenes. I read this book to have snu-snu with my girlfriend more than I am supposed to, and for the first time in my life, I regret the methods I used to acquire said snu-snu. I am now considerably dumber for reading this pathetic Twilight fan-fiction excuse for a novel. Easily one of the worst books I have ever read, I had to read my favorite book, Neuromancer, by William Gibson immediately after finishing it just to maintain my sanity.
I'm obviously a guy so I'm not sure how to respond to the actual BDSM scenes, they were weird, felt forced, and were way over the top, I'm just talking about the quality of the literature itself. E. L. James is a horrendous writer, but what else can you expect from a Twilight fan-fiction writer?
The good news is I am now forcing my girlfriend to read Isaac Asimov's Foundation Trilogy, because she hates Sci-Fi, for some reason.
Screw the movie, too. I put my headphones on and tried to fall asleep, but I decided to watch the movie just to see if was anything like the *vomits just thinking about it* book. I would say the novel is worse because you actually had to read it, but the movie is still pure *vomits again* garbage aswell. WHY WOMEN?! WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS?! My girlfriend says she likes it because it's different and fantastical. I've never understood why women would rather read generic, poorly written, over the top forced romance novels for their "fantasy" elements instead of actual fantasy or Sci-Fi with some originality and free-flowing romance with interesting characters that you actually care about. I guess people are different, simple as that.
Sorry if this review was offensive or mean...I just really despise this "book".
Still love you though Sasha.
You are so incredibly right about all of this. 50 Shades is a poor attempt at literature. It took all of the few decent things in Twilight (like all the fighting and dangerous creatures) and added sex. It's pure kinky porn in book form. Also, why doesn't your girlfriend like science fiction? It's spectacular, much better than 50 Shades (though I only got through the first chapter). And though I am a girl, I hate these so called 'romance' books we all read. There's no plot, no drive, no suspense. But I suppose people like them for the sex scenes?
tobybee2000 She likes a few epic fantasy series, like LotR and GoT, but she hates Sci-Fi in all it's incarnations, because, wait for it, she hates the "science" aspect of Sci-Fi. She's smart but, I don't know, I guess people are just different.
And yeah, I work in a bookstore and by far, my least favorite category to stock and alpha is romance, romance and new age. Nearly every book has the same initial plot, writing style, and book cover, usually it's about a innocent or average girl who meets and falls in love with a dangerous and exciting hot guy, and then it depends on the writer, where they go from that, the covers are usually also depicting a hot guy with his shirt off clasped to the girl or by himself, riding a motorcycle or something of the sort. They do make me chuckle though, guess that's a bonus.
I absolutely agree with EVERYTHING you wrote!
Well, to each their own, I suppose. Anyway, I totally get it. How people keep making money off of the same plot over and over again, I don't know. *****
I agree with you on this. I knew it had erotica but I had never read any such thing before and I thought I would give it a shot. After the 5th chapter, I got so scared that I deleted the ebook and I had to read "Pride and Prejudice" to regain my sanity. I realized that this kind of genre isn't my cup of tea, it's a cup of mud.
Totally off tropic, but have you sen Love, Rosie? And if you have, can you do a review? (I saw it yesterday and I absolutly love it!) :) ❤️
omg yeeess!! i love it too sooo much
I love that movie so much I've seen it 5 times already !!
Best movie ever omg
I've just recently watched it too! It was definitely not the best movie ever but it was very enjoyable! Also helped that it had Lily Collins and Sam Claflin (Probably spelled his name wrong..Oops!) ☺️
No but I really want to!!! I want to read the book first
Whatever gets people to read is a good thing :)
Woohoo!
This book is getting more hate because it's being stereotyped as porn & abuse while no one is talking about how poorly the book was written... I personally loved the books it was just so repetitive and annoying at times.
We know you don't support abuse/rape but by seeing the movie you're giving money to something that romanticizes abuse/rape. I think that's what people are talking about.
***** I would like to direct you to this: 50shadesofabuse.wordpress.com/chapter-analyses-master-list/. These aren't my opinions. They're facts.
there is literally NEVER a time that she used the safe word. NEVER as someone who HAS suffered abuse and has participated in bdsm , this book is NOT abuse, it's BDSM
That's like saying that by seeing The Hunger Games, you support the murder of children.
Tiffany S. The Hunger Games is clearly AGAINST the murder of children, so by that logic you are not supporting the murder of children by watching the film.
And I never said that by watching/reading 50 Shades you automatically support abuse. It doesn't work like that. E.L. James didn't mean to write about an abusive relationship, but she did and it makes people think this kind of behavior is normal/acceptable/healthy when it is not.
(Also, I have absolutely nothing against BDSM when it is practiced safely. It isn't in 50 Shades.)
Oh my God, it is FICTION. How many movies are there out there with plots about idk murder, rape, adultery and so on. Watching a movie about it doesnt mean supporting every single aspect of it! It is really stupid to think otherwise
I do find it quite interesting to hear the reviews on this book series from younger readers... and this comment may as well be geared towards the casual "passer-by" adult reader as well. The words "rape" and "toxic" are all too loosely used these days. In this book, these were two consenting adults. She asked for everything she received, and she made her own choices. No one forced anyone to do anything in this book, and both adults knew what they were getting themselves into (even though the outcomes were much different than they had dared dreamed in the beginning of the book). Here are a few things to keep in mind when reading this series:
1. The first book in this series is first and foremost an introduction for the readers into this BDSM world, and was told through the eyes of a girl who has chosen to live her romantic life vicariously through novels (her favorite being Tom Hardy, who's most acclaimed book is Tess of the d'Urbervilles - one of the most controversial literary works of its time due to it challenging the sexual morals of the late 1800's). It takes two people from the farthest ends of the spectrum, and brings them together... letting the initial infatuation from both their perspectives unravel to reveal their true selves. This book is just as much about Christian facing his demons and excepting that he might be able to have a real relationship with a woman that is not his submissive, as it is about Ana exploring her newfound sexuality and becoming a woman as complicated as the characters she reads about in her favorite novels.
2. Ana's "Inner Goddess" was my favorite supporting character of this book... it's the part of her that I could relate to as a woman, and honestly helped lighten up the storyline. Her inner monologues were a comedic relief, and really helped to develop Ana as a character. She wanted this relationship with him, she begged him for the experiences that they shared, and besides the closing sequence (which in all respect, she asked for to test her limits as well as Christian's), she loved every bit of it.
3. This series as a whole is really more of a psychological romance. Christian looks all put together, but he is deeply broken and damaged (50 shades of f*cked up) and his need for control is the only security blanket that he knows. Ana has a longing for a relationship that will make her burn with desire. She has men that are falling all over her, and she barely notices their attempts to woo and get her attention ... she sees them as platonic relationships. She yearns for passion, heat, desire, lust, fire that you can't put out, and she finds that with Christian. But she also learns that with fire, you can get burned. He learns through her that letting go of a little of control can open up his heart to a bright new world... and honestly, it terrifies both of them! At the end of this book, I was so sad and angry and confused and I didn't know what emotions to let come to the surface first - a feeling you rarely get at the end of the book when you are mad and sad at both of the characters, and you can't wait to pick up the next book to see what happens next.
Granted, the next two books get better as the stories and plot continues to grow and branch out, confronting the demons in his closet that come lashing out... and Ana finally realizes that she is stirring up some demons of her own. It is very difficult to contemplate a storyline like this that includes something like BDSM for young adults. Not saying that as an insult, but rather that there is usually just not enough personal experience to see past the smoke, sex and mirrors that the first book divulges in such abundant detail. Like any other book, it all falls down to the readers opinion... but also to the maturity of the readers physiological and psychological experience. Reading a book like this may offend the same person who thought Twilight was a beautiful tortured love story with a happy fairy-vampire ending. However, the plot is nearly identical... instead of the antagonist being a vampire (sexual in its own right, blood sucking humans, ability to have mind blowing sex for days without tiring - yeah, remember that) he is an available Master looking for an exclusive Submissive. I think James did a great job evolving her main female lead to be of strong mind and make better decisions that the Twilight series heroine (the girl who reclused herself for months after a 3 week romance with a vampire ends, a girl who constantly put herself in fatal situations to see hallucinations of her beloved, a girl who falsely leads on her best friend into believing she's into him to keep her mind off of her ex, a girl who wants the vampire to make wild love to her while she's still a human resulting in a body of bruises and a destroyed hotel room - yeah, remember that).
Amazing video yet again Sasha, I like how you said "Everybody has their own opinions" And I think that, that was true. People judge books by just looking or seeing peoples hate towards a book, but yet they probably havn't even seen the book or movie. I can't say that I have read or seen the movie, as I am too young to. But when I get a bit mature and older, I will watch it and give my opinion!
Honestly, I agree with you. The first book (in terms of writing) had a very immature style of writing and use of words. In terms of the plot line, it wasn't very pleasant either. There was no emotion to it. Fifty Shades Darker, on the other hand, was way better in terms of writing and plot. It involves romance (finally!!!) and Christian finally lays his armor down exposes himself to Ana. In Fifty Shades Darker, Christian becomes a round character and feels more human-like. But he is a very romantic guy when he wants to be. I loved how he was ready to do anything so Ana won't leave him, and that part when both were kneeling on the floor of his apartment really got to me and I loved the intensity of emotion in that scene, and the end of the book was really romantic in the sweetest way.
Hi Sasha! I really like the way you both handled this review. When I picked up 50 Shades a few years ago I had no idea what it was about. I just saw an article in a magazine that said all married women should read the book because it would make you fall in love with your husband again. Anyway, I couldn't get through the book because I felt the dialogue was weird and the content made me uncomfortable. That being said, I like that you girls mentioned getting past the first book because the series and character development gets better. I might try it again for that reason. Thanks for being honest and sharing your opinions so graciously :) Love your videos. This is what booktube is all about.
I do not ever want to read 50 shades of Grey, but I think its fine if others read it. I'm not going to hate on others to read it because they can read it and that's okay
I completely agree with you two! I've read the trilogy and my least favourite is the first one. For all those people who are apprehensive about continuing, I suggest you do so because trust me, it gets better. Also, I personally did not see the relationship to be abusive in any way. Toxic, yes. Cringeworthy at times, yes. But definitely not abusive.
I agree with Sasha and her friend because while the first book kind of makes you think it's terrible, the series actually does get better. Meanwhile I don't find anything 'abusive' about their relationship, it's definitely toxic and all too soon and too fast. The next books are so much better and it's not a terrible series, just not for everyone.
I don't understand why people think that fifty shades of Grey was rape and abuse. Its not. That's why there was that whole consent form and rules and safe word. BDSM is not rape!
Cali Rose even tho fifty shades doesn't portray BDSM right at all
They thought what I exactly thought! FINALLY!
I agree with your opinion on the relationship being "toxic" however I do not believe it to be abusive in my opinion. Obviously Anastasia gave consent to this type of relationship with Christian involving safe words and was fully discussed before going into it, I understand it wasn't healthy as it was not something she was used to and she wanted more, I definitely agree that the following books give more characterisation and it progresses to be more of a romantic novel of some sort behind all the bondage etc. It is currently a touchy subject to talk about as people believe influences rape, domestic abuse etc. however there are novels on rape and murder and no one says that they influence such things! I don't believe the writer would write about such a thing if that was the effect it would have. I believe some people have blown the book/film out of proportion and focused on a negative side which i do not see possible other than the actual story behind it!
The book is emotionally abusive not physically however many people who participate in bdsm have come out and said that they believe the sex is inconsistent with real bdsm and is dangerous portrayal of consent but I wouldnt know myself about that part
I wouldn't know either. I believe it wouldn't seem to emotionally abusive if Anastasia had participated in BDSM before as had his past partners. Things that are different are always portrayed as negative however he doesn't know no different and she has to accept that, so it can be seen as emotionally abusive but in a way its not Christians fault
The thing with 50 shades of grey is it hides all the abuse and manipulation behind romance, so there are women out there saying how badly they want their own Christian Grey. How do you imagine that makes the women who have actually experienced manipulative, abusive and controlling relationships feel? It's insulting to take such an awful experience and romanticise it. On top of that, they also have to listen to people tell them that despite the fact they've been in that position in real life and they see the similarities between that and what happened to them, it isn't abuse.
I am in love with this trilogy but I gave the first book 3 stars because of the way it made me feel while reading it .
I like how you both gave your inputs on the book. And I'm not supporting 50 Shades, but there are definitely other books that glorify abusive relationships but 50 Shades only gets so much backlash because the media
YOU HAVE RED QUEEN!!
most of the people hating on the franchise have never even touched the books or have any interest in seeing the film. Their only argument is calling it "an abusive relationship" which personally, I disagree with. If you're going to hate on the books/movie, please educate yourself to have something to back up your opinion
I've read the books and I can definitely see the abusive relationship in it. A lot of people aren't hating on the book for the sake of it but are scared that people might just read the first book and think that their relationship is an ideal one and therefore try to imitate, maybe even subconsciously. She regularly mentions tolerating the things he does to her and how she is scared rather than expressing happiness. A direct quote from the book - "How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?"
"I didn't like it. I'd rather you didn't do it again." "You weren't meant to like it." If that alone isn't enough to show people that this is a book with an abusive relationship not a couple with a consensual BDSM relationship. I'm not trying to 'hate' on you, rather than inform you that it is in fact an abusive relationship and know that if a relationship that you are in holds any resemblance to Ana and Christians then please get yourself out of there. The fear with this book is that these massive red flags of an abusive and unhealthy relationships will start to be overlooked or even normalized. I'm really not trying to be rude and I do have more evidence to back up my opinion but I think I've made my point. I don't agree with the fact that if you read them you are supporting abusive relationships as long as you know that it is.
I've read the book " unfortunately" and i have perfectly good reason to hate it... Its poorly written, boring, lack of character development, boring, involves a silly weak girl who lets a guy dominates, stalk, RAPE, and more just because she thinks his good looking! Stop fucking assuming that people slag the book off as they haven't read it! Most people with good taste and knowledge knows this book is shit!
Tigress I never said I like it lmao. it is written poorly. you need to calm tf down
Hanna Prytherch notice how I said "most" people"
Tigress oh and if you happen to hate the fact of the franchise as a whole, why are you here watching this video and scrolling through the comments to pick fights with people? surely you could be spending your time trying to argue with people and do something useful. just a healthy suggestion...
I haven't read this book yet, but I plan to. And when I do then I will maybe do a book Review on it. Its cool that we also both live in IL. I live 2 hours away from chicago.
I'm glad you made these points sasha!
The way people describe this, it almost sounds like American psycho, which just so happens to be my favourite book
Great video Sasha and Francesca! I haven't read the book nor do i intend to but i really agree with your message over personal opinions and haters you guys put out there. Your friend seems awesome by the way!
This movie/book doesn't promote rape or abuse. Ana even signs a contract saying it's okay to let this happen to her. Yes, it's your opinion, but don't judge it if you don't know anything about it. If someone wants to see this movie, don't judge them. So, that's my thought on it. Please don't hate on anyone who likes or has seen the movie. It's their choice, and what I said goes along with not promoting this stuff. If you don't like it, go away.
Actually she never signs it so she never gives written consent just verbal
I know, but she does ask for it.
I seem to recall you considering these as just joke books on your shelf in your bookshelf tour. Glad to see you gave it another try. :)
I know what you mean about the disclaimer, I literally just uploaded my opinion on it too and although I am against it and hated on people in the past, I'm turning over a new leaf and not judging people who like the series. :) However, I think people who are fans of the book have been more argumentive about it when protecting the series because I've unfortunatly lost a lot of friends who like the series just because I stated my opinion for disliking it :/
the issue I have with the trilogy is that even though Christian does seemingly change for the better (though he is still super controlling) it teaches girls that if you're the right girl you can change someone who treats you poorly which in the real world isn't really the case, and there are enough people stuck in abusive relationships and not realizing it without pop culture even further making it seem okay and like it 'gets better'
while Ana does verbally give consent there is a lot of mental manipulation, he speaks to her outside of the bedroom like she is a child he can control and like her emotions are silly when he's the one with the more messed up emotions- which he uses to pull her in I feel at times and make her feel bad (the whole 'you said in your sleep you'd never leave me!' thing)
I agree though, people shouldn't hate on others for liking the books, but everyone should be aware that this is not an ideal relationship or how BDSM actually works- and you two seem to understand that :)
1:33 - 2:28 THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I've almost finished the final book fifty shades of freed and don't judge if you weren't read yet the book.
#Don'tJudge
#JustReadIt
THE ONLY THING THAT'S ON MY MIND RN IS THAT WHERE THE HELL IS ETHAN IN THE MOVIE?!! LIKEEE ETHAN-MIA NEEDED SO MUCH MORE SCREEN TIME!
I skipped the first book but watched the film. I'm currently reading fifty shades Darker and in really enjoying it
I don't hate on people who like the books, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I personally wouldn't read them because of the controversial reviews but I know people really love them, and that's awesome!
I think what troubles me about the "it gets better" defense of the second and third novels is that it could make people think that if they stay in a toxic relationship it will get better. Abusive partners shouldn't be given the chance to get better. Just because you seem nice at the end doesn't vindicate your prior actions.
You have a valid point! But that's not what we're trying to say at all. Just because it may have "worked out" in Christian and Anastasia's relationship, doesn't mean that anyone should stay in a toxic relationship. I think what we were trying to get as is that Christian does change for the better, though I definitely see your point.
Francesca Mateo That's good he changes. I haven't read the 2nd or 3rd book and I'm only just now reading the 1st so I can come to my own conclusion and not take other peoples words for it so I can't attest to the whole story arc. He's just done a lot of super sketchy things (tracking her phone, undressing her when she's blacked out and then sleeping next to her) and I would hate for anyone to think those things are ok. I don't think people are awful for liking the books, but it does concern me that women could be led to believe that his actions are ok. The way he acts before they even enter into a consensual relationship is so predatorial. Sure at some point they enter a consensual relationship which puts what they do in a different light, but it's his action before they enter a relationship that I find troubling.
This review just made me think of a saying that is perfect got this situation!
'Hate the book, but don't hate the reader'
This is so relevant for everyone getting crap about liking certain books like BACK OFF HATERS
I am 19. My mom read the books and she refuses to let me borrow them because it makes her uncomfortable. I don't want to read the books, but I do think this was a well done video.
Those who read the books and watched the movie totally realized that in the book there was, what I consider, rape. Or it seemed like rape. Maybe some think that Ana enjoyed that scene but I believed it was very controversial.
But trust me when I say that the movies was COMPLETELY consensual. The scene I talked about above was totally different than in the book. She specifically agreed to everything Christian wanted to do. She even asked him to in some parts. And the fact that anyone would think you're giving money to something horrendous like rape is so insulting. The money does not go to some idiotic cause that supports rape.... It literally is used to make the next film and to pay the actors and behind-the-scenes people. Lol. But to each their own. It's just what I think. I am not embarrassed to admit that I liked the movie. The first book for me was a little intimidating however the next two were much better.
i totally agree with you Sasha. i have read all three books, and i had heard so many bashes on it i was not sure to read the book. after reading it i actually liked it. not that I'm for that type of relationship but i liked the plot and story of the series and thats what made me like and read the series.
HAPPY VALENTINES
I was just about to look up a book review of this book in the search bar & I didn't even have to because yours was in my subscription box :) just had to put that out there! I'm about to start reading it tonight.
Yes, their relationship was not the most healthy one but Christian was so willing to change for HER and she mostly did not take hiS shit! That's what's so good for me in this book
And i love the books from Christian's POV, i didn't read them from Ana's POV that seriously😂
I don't get why people say it's abuse/rape!! She agreed to the contract that Christian gave her! He told her if she wanted him to stop he would or if she wanted to leave she could..
I wanna re read this series I’m not sure why but I didn’t hate it years ago lol I kinda miss it
I HATED this book. It was unbelievably horribly written, an uninspiring ripoff of Twilight that was trying to be "sexy" with terrible sex scenes. Novels that start as fanfiction to other novels never sit well with me but that's a whole different issue - except that this book READ like terrible fanfiction. It was so badly written I couldn't believe it how it was published ... there's nothing original or interesting or appealing about this so-called plot ... so I really don't understand why this is so popular? If people are looking for erotica there are plenty of other books with well written sex scenes and actual plots out there. Maybe this book was dumbed-down for the masses as a way encourage 'non-readers' to read? To make lots of money? Idk That's the only reason I can think of.
And it straight up romanticized abuse. The main male character is abusive in this book, everybody can agree on that. Stalking, controlling, physically, and emotionally abusive .. characters and men like that should not be painted as "caring" and "tortured" and "romantic." They are irredeemable. I don't care what happened in his past, behaviour like that is unacceptable. This book was awful and boring and infuriating. Not even going to TRY to force myself through the next book in the series when I could barely stomach the first one. It's not worth my time.
And she stole this one too from Anne Rice can't remember the title now...
I read this and didn't see any rape involved i saw her being pressured a lot to do things with him but she did give her consent for anything done to her. But i respect everyone's opinions on this book. Just don't attack sasha she's just giving her thoughts so we should all respect her freedom of speech.
This is the best review of the book I've seen so far.
I get what you're talking about and it's pretty rational but you should also read Bad Feminist. There is an essay in there about 50 shades of grey that puts things very eloquently :) Also Bad Feminist is an awesome book on its own so you should read it anyway not just for this reason because it deals with a lo tof important issues :)
what is that background noise? seems like someone is killing a goat
I know right! I barely paid attention to what they were saying bc of that noise
It's probably just a dog
I am so glad that you made this video because I completely agree with you about people hating on someone who reads this book and how you should not see people in a certain way from that point on because they read this book. I have been contemplating making review videos for both the book and the movie but I was super apprehensive because of how people would react as well as if they would judge me for liking this book and the topics that are highlighted upon in this book. After watching this though I think I am going to make my videos.
Also, I agree with you that the series gets better after the first book. I have read the entire series and by the end I could see how the dynamic between Ana and Christian had changed as they began to fall in love with each other. I think that people should at least read the other books before they stick with their opinions about this series especially if they have been bashing it. Of course, at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their opinions
Thank you so much for putting up this video and I look forward to your review on the movie!
What I don't understand is why is this an issue only fans of 50 Shades are experiencing . While I wasnt a fan of the book tbh I've never ben told I promote drug use for liking Breaking Bad or that I promote murder and violence for liking the occasional action movie. Why is 50 Shades different o.O
ally owl i completely agree with you! God knows how many people love Breaking Bad and that doesnt make us drug dealers or consumers neither supporters of that. So I truly dont know why people make such a big deal out of this. Of course his lifestyle is not someone anyone supports but it is FICTION; how many movies have we seen that deal with murder, rape, adultery and so on, and we still love them? Because liking a story doesnt mean SUPPORTING EVERY ASPECT OF IT.
I know this is so out of subject with this video but a book i highly recommend is Splintered by A.G Goward,because i know you loved Cinder!
I actually read the first two and started the last one but did not finish it because I just grew tired of the series. I felt that Christian did not change as much as people say he did and that made me dislike him more. The first book is definitely not a book that I would ever dare pick up again. I originally picked it up because I never read an erotic romance and I was engrossed in it bc it was new to me. Now that I've read several other erotic romances, FSOG just seems a little ridiculous and gross. Mostly because Ana was just not the protagonist the book needed in my opinion. I felt like Christian sought her out because she was a weakling and therefore took advantage of her. I see what the hype is but it's definitely not a 'romance'- in my opinion.
I think it's so sweet of you Sasha to tell people not to be rude in the comments, saving the Internet from a lot of arguments :)
I'm not a 50sog supporter and also ive never read the books but I'm really certain,from what ive read all around, that there is not any rape involved in the book. Everything they do is done with their consent, no one is forced to do anything. In fact Anastasia is asked multiple times if she's okay with everything Christian wants to do. So I feel like despite the emotional abuse there is in the books and the movie there isn't any rape.
the thing i didn't like about the book was the inner goddess and the holy cow/moses. idk why it's just so weird
When I read the first book it was overwhelming but when I continued to the second and third book the perspective of the books changed and I personally hated the inner goddess part 💯
I read the first book two years ago I think and I haven't gotten to the second... I think that it was a little too much sex in it for my taste, I like to keep some level of mystery and imagination. I also think that the "my inner godess" stuff was super weird but I still would not say that I hate the book. I've definitely read better books but I have also read worse. Now that you guys have said that it gets better I might get the other two but it is not one the first place on my list.
Because of all the controversities, I've decided to read the three books. After finishing them, I realized that I highly disliked them for a lot of reasons (writing style, themes, characters, ecc..), but, at least, I've read them and so I know what I am talking about. Thanks for this sincere review, without useless wars or nasty comments, I really appreciated it.
You are a great person Sasha remember that ! I totally agree with what you said and its really sad that people think that by reading these books we are supporting abuse. It makes no sense. We are all adults and we all have a right to read and watch what we feel like. You are the best and please don't listen to the haters !
I liked how he is in the book compared to the movie. I'm currently and finally on the last book and I'm excited to finish them I'm so over reading about the super descriptive sexual encounters... :/
raise your hand if ur wacthing this in sept 2016
obsessed w/ youuu
Did anyone else notice the red pillow that popped up behind the beige one around 5:40?
I really like the way you opened this video, I agree fully, people are allowed their own opinion, but let's not hate :)
I read the book and It was awesome but there was a few moments where it need more but what Christian was doing was not abuse every time they did something she said yes and I quote "I'm ready" or " I want to" so he is not at fault because he didn't do anything she didn't want he to
Their relationship IS abusive 😂 Ana said the save word but Christian continued (this happened at least one time!!) and Ana often begged him to stop, and what did he do?
I agree it does get better and an "abusive" relationship turns "vanilla" to those who know what I'm talking about hahaha.
I agree with u all the way on this book it's entertaining I think it could have been written better
The number one thing I can't stand is people hating on this book when they haven't even read it or know hardly anything about it lol
And it's even funnier that they complain about the hype and well... the haters are what's making this series sooooooooo hyped and talked about because creating so much controversy!
I'm happy that you uploaded this video and stated your honest opinions, personally I feel like I wouldn't be very interested in this book so I won't be picking it up, but I feel like people need to just relax about this whole subject. It's not like anyone is forcing them to read the books or watch the movies lol
Awesome review thanks for uploading!
I feel like this whole video was you just trying to judify your reasons of reading it. Just admit it you wanted to read it and you are reading the second book because you liked the first. I just don't get this whole defending yourself on every level. It doesn't
matter what book a person likes, its just someones liking or disliking and thats the end of it. Who cares what people think about what type of books you read, just don't worry about what everyone thinks.
Having only read the first book ( I have zero interest in reading the rest of the series. I didn't like the writing and it just doesn't interest me ) , I think Christian was abusive to Ana and it portrayed BDSM in the wrong way
BUT let's look at it this way for a second , just because I love Breaking Bad doesn't mean I support the production and selling of drugs , just because I liked Dexter doesn't mean I think murder is ok or I myself will murder people. As long as people realise that (some) books and movies are there for entertainment value not to be realistic there is no harm in people watching and enjoying 50 Shades or any other tv show/movie/book.
50 Shades of Grey has got a lot of people reading and picking up more books and opened people's mind to sexual experiences that they may really enjoy and imo those are really good positive things.
This was a really good , balanced review I loved how ye looked at the controversy from both sides. As someone who didn't like the book I'm happy to go read another book I will enjoy more and leave others to their own opinions.
I'm gonna come out and say that I liked FSoG...Hate me all you want. Bash me. Do whatever you want. I mean I know it's not the best book out there and it has some issues but I managed to put all those things aside and just enjoy reading it.
you rock I loved all 3 books I've read them multiple times
i completely understand loving a series of books but feeling like you can't tell anyone you like it because of the fear that there going to make you feel like your not allowed to. for me its the series veiwfinder. i adore it but im terrified of lettering anybody know.
Sasha, can you do a vid where you play Akinator (The Web Genie)??
YOU GO GIRLS!!!!
My dad is reading it. I am worried for him :/
Though I understand that F.S.O.G. is a poorly written erotica with tense situations-to say the least- to say that reading it equals supporting rape or whatever happens in it is rushed. It is like saying that if you liked Lolita you support pedophile actions and thoughts.
I don't like the writing style of Fifty Shades of Grey. I don't like the "inner goddess" thing. :\ I am surprised when I've read it for the first time. I didn't expect how detailed "the scenes" are. I think the second book is better in a way, I really see the reason why Christian Grey has that kind of lifestyle. Giving the benefit of a doubt. I find other erotica novels written better than this.
My sister has read the books, and after watching the movie I've asked her to lend them to me. I loved the movie. I thought it was funny and romantic and I'm not sure how the books are, but I honestly didn't see how their relationship is abusive or rape... Christian seems manipulative, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that. I know there is more to his character and I've excited to read the books to find out what it is, and how he got to be the way he is. Even though they're fictional, I like to know WHY they're a certain way before I decide whether I like the character or not.
+CharIie H I hope this comment doesn't start a war in here, but I saw one thing in your comment that is a very common and very dangerous thought: "Christian seems manipulative, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." For starters, I wanna say that there's ALLWAYS a reason behind ANY aspect of your personality.
But I want to explain why this phrase is dangerous, and I think the best way to do that is by changing the word "manipulative" with more obviously-dangerous words.
"Christian seems Suicidal, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Knowing there is a reason for that wouldn't prevent you from seeking help if someone you cared for was suicidal. If anything, it would push you more to find a resolution.
"Christian seems murderous, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Would you stay with someone who has murderous tendencies just because something made them that way? Would you not judge that person as "dangerous" just because they have a "reason"?
"Christian seems pedophilic, yes, but there has to be a reason behind that." Would you excuse him from abusing a child if you knew he was abused as a child? Or would you still judge him a criminal, since he abused a child?
A person being Manipulative is something that is very underestimated in our society, when it's actually one of the biggest traits of domestic abusers. Go to any study, any domestical violence panphlet, any abuse resource site, and you will find "manipulation" as one of the signs to know you are entering a potentially dangerous relationship.
poxolatee I didn't say that because of the reasons he is manipulative that it automatically makes it okay for him to be that way. I was just saying that there must be a reason he's manipulative. I never once made it seem like that was a good thing.
+Charlie H
Sorry then, for the missinterpretation. It sounded like that mainly because that is a very common line of thought along victims of abuse.
The thought of someone "having a reason to be like that" tends to be one of the reasons the dangerous relationships are hard to recongnize before it's too late. The victims subconciously justify the person for bad attitudes.
Again, sorry. I am trying to spread a bit of information around, since I know not everyone spends a lot of time reading about dangerous relationships and safety.
I got fifty shades of grey freed from Morrison’s well there always sells the last book in the series I don’t know why and I on,y have the fifty shades of grey freed physical copy, and the othere two books on my e-reader, so can I just read the fifty shades of grey freed then the others two books? Or to get the full be a fit but I read the first two books then the third one?
I’m 14 and thinking of reading it but don’t know if I should read it. Should I?
It's just a book and a movie. And it is Fiction... I liked/loved the book. 👍👍
Hey have you read The Mephisto Covenant by Stephanie Feagan? I want to read it but i am skeptical about the brothers from hell or something. 😂😂
I agree with you mostly, however I do get really annoyed about how successful it is, not because of the bdsm stuff but because it's not an original story. I haven't read Twilight but as an aspiring writer it does make me sad that someone can get so successful from something that's basically plagiarism :/
50 pages of blah!
First of all, I'd seriously judge someone I saw reading this book. Not because of the theme it is supposedly touching on but because of the lack of any depth and the distasteful, poorly written "scenes" in the book. Don't kid yourself, you're just reading low grade porn!
I just got to about 50 pages, skimmed through the rest and decided this wasn't worth my time. I mean, this book is SOOO bad that even the fifty pages i read, mid-way I started skipping the BORING descriptions and just reading the conversations because that seemed to be the only worthwhile thing to read to make out where this story was going. Infact, worthwhile is a total exaggeration, half the time Ana is saying "oh my" or talking about how much she likes "english things". I wish she was real so I could beat her to death with this book. One conversation which stuck with me is this totally inane one between her and Christian where there are four lines and it goes something like:
"is the room big?"
"big"
"big?"
"it's big."
WHAT IS THAT?!
ANOTHER reason why NOBODY should be reading this book is because it's fan fiction of Twilight. EL James wrote this story as a Bella/Edward story and just switched all the names. Google: snowqueen icedragon master of the universe - There! you don't even have to pay for this book!
Maybe I didn't get far enough to know what's so messed up about Grey but I honestly don't believe it's something spectacularly interesting and I don't believe that there really is much character development, albeit EL James has written quite a lengthy trilogy. However, I have no interest in finding how this ends because there is nothing interesting about the characters! Ana is a spineless boring person and Grey is a billionaire with weird sexual fetishes, this MAYBE could have been something on the lines of the cult classic Story of O (I haven't read that, but i hear it's good) but EL James is not the writer for that considering her inspiration to write is someone like Stephanie Meyer!
The whole abuse/rape thing...I don't get that. I don't understand where people get that from. BDSM is a lifestyle, and he never forces her. Most erotica books are BDSM in nature, and 40x more extreme. The only abuse in the book is when they talk about Christian when he was 15-years-old. I love this review, you're wise beyond years. I don't think a book can "glorify" anything. It's fiction, it's expression. If you really want to cringe, Sasha, I challenge you to read "Tampa" by Alissa Nutting. If you can get through the first chapter I'll give you a virtual high five.
People get the abuse and rape thing from the fact that Christian Grey is controlling and manipulative, that coming from a girl who has been in a relationship with a controlling and manipulating guy. If you take the BDSM out of it, their whole relationship is unhealthy. That scene where she tells him no and he threatens to tie her up.. No means fucking no. He pushed her into sex. He makes her think she wants things, tells her how she feels about things instead of letting her make her own mind up about them, when she's asks for space he follows her, there's some occasions when he straight up stalks her, forcing her to eat, arranging for her to go on the pill without her permission, whenever she gets to a stage in her mind where she's like "I'm not sure I want to be in this kind of relationship" he brings up the time he was abused as a child to make her feel bad and agree to stay, classic manipulation move. There's actually parts in the book where she says she's scared of him, and if you read it there are passages where she actually try's to change herself so she doesn't make him mad.
I didn't like the first book at all I tried reading the second and stop reading it because i didn't get into it. Should I read the second book or no?
I am horrified that children are reading these books. Sorry kids, I couldn't watch your vid; too heart-wrenching to me that you are being exposed to such an inappropriate topic, like BDSM.
I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise, since it is sold everywhere, even at my local COSTCOs. When it first came out, I did not know why it could be so popular. I looked at the book while at the store, but it was written at grade school level, and was rehashing and glamourizing vapid relationships & romanticizing sexual fantasies.
It was like expecting a creme brulee for dessert, but being served Jello pudding cups.
You kids have access to porn, not to mention American media encourages children to dress in a hypersexual manner.
I can only hope y'all are wise to the manipulation.
Just be discerning...
I completely agree with both sides because come on, we all want a Christian grey of our own just a little bit less abusive. I mean if you continue reading the series he's a sweet guy with a big heart, he's just miss understood. We all do things that we really shouldn't but enjoy it and this is him. And Anastasia also goes along with some of this stuff so it's not necessarily abuse if you go along with what that persons doing. I could care less what you say about what I'm saying so bring it on.😂 this is just my opinion. (And does anyone else hear that noise in the background)?
I've read the 'book' and I can't understand how people say that she consented... She didn't consented, she was clearly out of her mind, he was pressuring her to say yes and to accept an abusive and unhealthy relationship, after he made her fell in love with him. Remember that a 14 years old can also consent to a 50 years old but I think we can't take this ''consent'' as a real an valid one.
To be clear: I'm not against BDSM, but this was clearly not the same, in this book he wants to control her all the time, he tells her how to dress, how to be, which car she has to drive, who she can go out with... He wants to control every second of her life, and that is not BDSM, don't use it as an excuse, this is control, mistreatment, this is denigration, and for sure this isn't love, it's just about his control to an object (Anastasia), he doesn't treats her as a human being, he treats her like trash, like his little toy, every moment.
By saying this is a romantic book you are encouraging abuse, you are telling girls and women that they should accept a man that hits them, abuses them, that hurts them, you are teaching girls to be slaves, because 'that is love'. It's disgusting. Everyone who thinks this is love, everyone who doesn't sees the abuse here is blind or a psychopath.
I completely agree with you! Good job with this review! I did not realize there was so much hate with this book until the movie started coming into play, because I never in a million years would have seen it that way if someone hadn't said it, and even though the idea is there I still can't wrap my head around it, because I just don't see it that way.
I read this book awhile ago, and I thought it was an okay book. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. I definitely didn't think it promoted abuse/rape. I went to see the movie as well and I do not believe that the movie in any way, shape, or form promotes that at all either. So I am not ashamed to say I enjoyed these, it's one of those guilty pleasure books that you don't know why you were able to actually finish, but like you said everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Yeah sure the relationship can be seen as abusive. But relationships like this exist and the author didn't sugar coat it for you, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. There can be darkness in every relationship, even in books, doesn't mean it's promoted. But at least the main character fights him in some aspects. She does question him and tells him no when he has gone to far. He never does anything that she doesn't consent to and would never hurt her in a way she wouldn't want or couldn't handle. Which he makes clear. Everything he does she wants/asks for. They are both infatuated with each other and do eventually change to accommodate one another more then in the first book. Gotta keep reading!
But I do wish people wouldn't judge so harshly, especially the people who either read the book or go see the movie. There are so many things out there that could be accused of "promoting" something like this. I wish people would kinda keep their negativity to themselves! Wishful thinking :P
But yes thanks Sasha for this review! Both of yall it was great!
I had a lot of trouble getting past the horrible writing style and all the English slang even though the book is supposed to be set in Seattle. I stopped at about the halfway point, but I think I'll take your advice and try again so I can get to the other books in the trilogy. It also annoys me that people go on about how reading a fictional book, or watching a fictional movie is supporting rape. There are a lot of women out there who have sexual fantasies about being raped, and not being in control. I don't see how reading a woman's fantasy is supporting the actual real life action of rape. Why aren't people boycotting all the true crime shows that discuss ACTUAL rapists? People will find any excuse to be outraged.
If you want to read some real controversial thing, and actually well written ones, i recommend you the Lolita by Nabokov...
The Girl who wrote 50 shades of Grey was educated at my school :)
I think there's a tendency for some people to passionately dislike things geared to teenage girls and women. Yes, a lot of what this book espouses and the way the book is written is kind of terrible, but there are plenty of books where the abuse against women is normalized, where women are portrayed as deserving of punishment or having their abuse or death used as a plot point or to drive the male's character development and you never see the amount of vitriol these novels have garnered.
I don't want to see the movie and I've read enough of the books to realize it's really not for me, but I don't just use critical thinking when I read a book, I also use it to analyze other reader's reactions.
It's porn with training wheels.
It is very popular with people who have never been exposed to these ideas before and who have never been exposed to quality erotica. It's like you sign up for the course on 20th century American poetry, and it turns out the assignment for the term paper is "The Cat in the Hat."