Man, I swear the Japanese are the same way. If you compare an American device to a Japanese device, the Japanese device is half as powerful and at least twice as complicated. I saw toilets with enough processing power to fly a Mercury-Atlas. Meanwhile, Russian engineering is half as complicated, ugly as hell, and either works with critical parts missing, or works so poorly that you don't notice the difference when critical parts go missing.
There has been a more expensive bowel movement in history. If I’m not mistaken, I listened into a story from this oil rig worker a year back. Basically, when they we’re changing crews the rig had a small enough crew to transport on one company helo. Not 10 mins into the out trip one of the guys grabbed a barf bag, dropped trou and let it go. It apparently filled the bag and kept going so bad they had to turn around back to the rig because the guy couldn’t stop. Company regs also prohibited the other men from leaving again on the poop chopper because it was a health violation. (Must have been pretty bad cause these are a bunch of rough necks). It took days to clean the poop helo which was sitting on the only active helo pad the rig had. In the end it shut the rig down for close to a full week cost hundreds of thousands of dollars all because some guy with food poisoning couldn’t wait and see the rig doc.
That's fucking hilarious! Reminds me of the time one of the guys on the crew I worked for closing up mine shafts had to shit so bad that he couldn't wait till break time, and to the bosses disapproval he had to run off in the bushes and squat ASAP. The boss was getting mad because he was taking forever to come back, and we soon learned why. He had squatted so quickly that his sweatshirt dropped from where it was tied around his waist and he had filled the hood with his own shit, so when he stood back up it got all over him and he was taking forever because he was trying to clean it off himself with nothing but sticks and dirt and dead leaves.... While this story pales in comparison to the oil rig, I still remember the boss yelling at him that he wasn't paying him 25 an hour to play with his poop. He also had to throw away his seat cover at the end of the day since we all rode in one truck.
If I remember right they did not go back to the rig because they knew it would shut it down. When they landed they asked the guy if he was ok and then beet the wholy living well there was no more shit out of him.
A German U-Boat captain, some of the only officers known to talk smack about Hitler because they were dead anyway, "accidentally" caused a malfunction that surfaces the ship without actually hurting anyone, and is "forced" to surrender, effectively keeping his crew from ever engaging the enemy just nine days before a war that everyone knows is over officially ends. This is some incredible luck....
As soon as I heard April 1945 that's exactly where my mind went, too. Nic's version makes for a goofy story but I'm pretty sure this is really a story about a captain looking out for his crew, finding a way to surrender without surrendering.
I haven't laughed this hard in a week. My girl was looking at me like I'd lost my damn mind, so I played the video for her. She is currently hacking up a lung from laughing so much. You sir are doing the lords work.
As a former submariner, I can confirm that nowadays, we kind of have this setup, except now the compartment is just called a "san tank" (sanitary tank) and one particular division onboard, "A-gang" (auxiliary division, or non-nuclear rated mechanics) is responsible for periodically blowing sans overboard. There have been muiltiple occasions in my naval career where the valve lineup was fucked up and sans were blown inboard. It's a bad day when the galley watch captain (current cook in charge of meal prep and serving) sees shit water getting forced up through the grates into a veritable shit-cano and has to flee for dear life through the serving window.
...and then have to sanitize EVERYTHING before any of you eat anything but MREs again. Wait, do you all eat them hot, or can you not cook them off because of pressurized sub and what not?
@@Hybris51129 Yeah, but we have often been told not to heat them off in drought conditions for fear of "starting fires". I'm not saying it makes sense.
And then there are the poor souls who did not see the big red sign that says "Head Secured Blowing Sans" and unleashes a shit geyser in the head. They would be the ones picking toilet paper out from under their eyelids.
I heard a story where a bunch of fishermen from a nation occupied by Germany, purposely tainted their catch of fish with laxatives because they knew a German submarine would eventually try to capture them and take their fish a provisions. Needless to say, the sub was forced to surface to prevent the newly destroyed plumbing from sinking it.
@@the_fat_electrician absolutely! I think my favorite was the Audi A6, which required the removal of the front bumper, core support, and some other ancillary things to change the timing belt. The Germans took a relatively straight forward job and engineered another 6 hours of labor into it.
“They engineered their way out of common sense”. My grandfather was an engineer for the Airforce during the Korean War, and he would've approved of this. He had his hairbrained engineer moments, but for the most part, his job was to take blueprints that under no circumstances should be possible, and make it work. He was the old man you saw at the hardware store stocking up on WD40 and duct tape, and by God he made it work. One time his plane got shot down on the mainland (he was generally stationed in Tokyo and rarely spent time in Korea), and his superior officer chewed his butt out to get the plane running again AFTER they'd already been shot down. It took all the WD40 and duct tape he had, but he got it back in the air and safely to Tokyo (or thereabouts) again. That generation was truly something else.
Sounds like grandpappy told his stories one too many times and as stories do they got bigger. The 'blueprints' were made by better engineers than your grandpappy and he just talked himself up.
I used to work for an old timer who was in the Navy as a young man and he loved telling stories at lunchtime. One such story was about how all the shitters on a boat were connected and drained out the back from one outlet pipe. Occasionally they would time it out to where they would flush every toilet at the same time save for the one in the back of the ship some poor S.O.B. was sitting on, because when every toilet but that one flushed, the pressure was so extreme it would blow out that last commode and whoever was on it would get a shitty surprise. (Pun intended) As if that wasn't enough of a laugh, he also told me his father was in the navy during WWII, but back then the "shitters" were just a long trough at the bottom of the ship every so many compartments where water would intake at the front of the ship, pass through all of the open troughs in a line and exit out the rear of the ship. So what they would do is gather up a shitload (pardon the pun) of toilet paper, set it on fire and toss it in the trough of moving water so that whoever was in the next compartment down would literally have a fire lit under their ass while taking a dump. Hearing this shit made me laugh so hard I nearly shit myself, (I know, too many shitty puns) maybe you could do an episode on these sort of pranks and make all of us laugh our asses off!
They also had a special red toilet seat that was reserved for those sailors that had contracted venereal disease while on shore leave. They didn't want to share STDs with the entire crew.
I heard the same sea stories from a retired mariners (old back in the early 90s) who started in the Navy pre WWII, they also had a dude who occasionally needed to help poke it out with a long pole when it started to clog. The shit stick dude
as an Ex-Submariner and an A-ganger( who actually was responsible for pumping or blowing shit out of the boat) this is Great. and the stories about blowing shit everywhere in a submarine is a real thing. this is GREAT. Thanks quackbang. top notch as always
It's interesting in that this sounds like how we blow shit from the san tanks now, except the dipshit taking a dump would also be pressurizing and opening/shutting the valves too. Did we have 1 way check valves in the system between the ocean and the tanks or would this theoretically be possible? Definitely not between the tank and the shitter as our galley once got a healthy helping of someone not closing the connecting valve between 1 and 2 when blowing 1.
I keep getting great reasons to be grateful I chose infantry in the US Army. Filling sandbags is a lot better than mopping shit off the walls of a sub.
I did a better one in the shipyard one time. I was on the Greeneville and I blew our san 1 inboard on the Olympia. I had to go to the critique for that one as well, it was pretty awkward
I'll leave you with a short anecdote and simple suggestion. When my daughter was learning to talk, after having first learned to walk, she kept trying to figure out why people's pockets made funny noises. Through the use of a conveniently placed small stuffed duck, twisted humor and a particularly loud fart, she was from then on convinced that everyone who farted had "Duck In Their Pocket". (YES my wife did beat me for this, while I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe) As for the suggestion, you might consider updating your "Quack"Bang animation and/or making a "German Quackbang" variant of shirts & media.
The worst thing about paper straws is that biodegradable straws that don't turn to mush is a solved problem but virtually everyone seems insistent on ignoring the solution. And no, the problem clearly isn't cost, because I've gotten instantly-disintegrating tree pulp straws in some of the classiest restaurants I've been in, while the marine biodegradable straw of unknown composition that's happy to sit in a drink all night is being distributed in bulk by an industrial-scale all-you-can-eat family-style chicken dinner operation.
Fun fact: It’s legal to dump raw untreated sewage in the ocean while transiting outside 12NM from land. I’d post a link to the regulation, but it will get deleted.
I spit coffee at least 6 times during this video. Highly entertaining, 10 out of 10 must watch. Love your content man, keep doing what you're doing. Laughing and learning is always a good thing.
Hands down my favorite channel on RUclips. Also tell Herrera I have a Pauza .50 barrel that failed it's proof load and split Elmer fudd style if he wants it.
BRO - 2:06 That "armored" V-Dub is from right in my home town, I've met the owner. Like all VW owners, that's not his only one, but on the flip side, the other 50 don't run either.
Could you imagine being a Brit or American sonar guy trying to figure out what the hell that noise is? Only to find out years later it was somebody flushing the toilet? "I think they are preparing to fire sir." "They launched something, Captain." "Where was the Kaboom? There should have been a kaboom."
Submariner here. Getting the "Head" right on submarines can be hard. Sanitary Tanks ("Sans") are *BEYOND* nasty. When the Sans are full, we would pressurize the tank over sea pressure (this makes it a 'hard tank.'), then vent the entire nasty mess over the side. This means that *YOU CANNOT USE THE SHITTER BALL VALVE* whilst blowing sans. Yes, "Blowing Sans." There are legends out there whom disregard the warning sign that says in BIG RED letters "Blowing Sans, Do NOT flush" *and* ignored the latch on the ball valve lever to prevent actuation *AND* ignored the thin stream of very tiny, extremely smelly bubbles leaking past the ball valve. What happened to these legends? They *LITERALLY* blow sans all over themselves. Imagine getting hit square in the face with a 150 mph 3" thick pillar of fermented shit. Yeah. Oh, and it will coat the entire interior volume of the head, too. Bulkheads. Deck. *Overhead.* Under the sinks. Inside the lights. Up the faucets. *Everywhere.* I don't want to even THINK about the fate of the fool who screwed up. It's beyond nauseating. Amongst other things, the perpetrator is the one who gets to clean the head. All of it. To the Doc's sanitary inspection. And yes, I know one of these legends. They're not a myth. The Navigator on my first boat did this to himself. Worse, he was the Officer of the Deck who granted permission to blow sans, so had no excuse. You don't even rag on these poor sad sacks. There is literally no humiliation you can heap on them that is worse than what they experienced.
I know you posted this over a year ago but I just wanted you to know your post had me laughing so hard my vision literally started fading out from lack of oxygen at one point.
While going to a Ren fair in college with 4 buddies the guy riding bitch in the back let out a silent but violent and started laughing. It was so bad we had to pull over, the drivers gf puked, and we made him walk one full mile before letting him back in the car.
The U505 Type IX resides in Chicago at the Museum of Science and Industry. Captured June 4th 1944 by Capt. Dan Gallery. From Chicago. 1 of 4 that went to serve the US Navy in ww2. 3 brothers enter the Academy and go on to become Admirals. Dan Gallery was 1 of the youngest to graduate the Academy. He was abt to be court martialed for saving U505. That is a complex story in itself.
Recommend making a video about Capt. Ramage and the USS Parche. Dude got into a 48 minute shoot out on the on the surface with 5 warships shooting 19 torpedoes sinking 2 ships and badly damaging 3 more all without going Belowdeck or submerging.
While it's been done well by Drachinifel, but I'd love to hear your take on the voyage of the 2nd Pacific squadron and the second battle of Tsushima during the ruso-japanese war. Taffy 3 during the battle of Samar where some escorts turned back the most powerful naval force assembled would also be much appreciated in your style. Love your work man thanks
3:00 "What did you do in the war, Grandpa?" "I was on a submarine." "Oh, cool! What did you do?" *intense toilet flushing flashback* "It's classified."
I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I genuinely look forward to these new videos and love the wealth of knowledge and dad jokes. I’ve already used a few phrases and I get along with all the older truck drivers I deal with lol
@@the_fat_electrician I remember you talking about a ship having 12 freedom fractions of Pittsburgh steel. Wheeling, which is about 45 minutes away, was highly regarded for their steel production as well. Lot of Wheeling steel ended up In Pittsburgh for fabrication. Everything got bought out and the big plants closed down. Proud of Warwood Tool for their business. We had anvils on our farm from those plants that’ll probably outlive the planet. Tough AF. Again, thanks for the support.
"Turd Torpedo", "Stink Pickle", "Dirt Snake", "blowin' mud", and "butt burrito". Some high quality toilet humor. Only pun that wasn't made was about Schlitt. I mean ... Adolf Schlittler? ... I'll ... I'll just see myself out.
Former submariner here (USS Kamehameha). Did have more than one time when someone ignored the sign on the flushing valve that said "caution blowing sanitaries" and subsequently blew a 700 pound air compressed sanitary tank inboard. It smelled about how you would imagine.
I've heard this story a couple of times before but never had it explained the way the Fat Electrician did, and it had me rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.
Commander... schlit? I remember a beer of a similar name that also caused high-pressure butt torpedoes. Although sometimes it caused the dirt snake to disintegrate into something resembling flak shrapnel.
Between the cheese and peanut butter we understood why the c-rat toilet paper was named John Wayne toilet paper.... rough and tough and took shit off no one.
Also I can't imagine being a 90 year old man telling his grandkids that pop pop dropped an atomic butt brownie that sabotaged a fucking submarine that is insanity 💀💀💀
So once apon a time in the wee early 2000s I used to be a submariner, I also happened to be an A-ganger, and part of my job was "da poopy" So basic flushing procedure was make sure bowl was full with flushing water by openeing the flushing water valve, until satisfactorily full, do your buisness, then open the flushing valve (ball valve at the bottom of the bowl with a long handle) which sent your buisness to the san tank. Well eventually these tanks would become full. And the call would go put on the 2MC "Auxilaryman of the Watch, 2JV." So if it was my watch I would make my way to the nearest 2JV phone and be told to "line up to blow sans" which ment I would go to the heads and hang the nice red signs that say don't flush, then open the back up valve, go to lower level line up a tank to sea and cut the air in to the hard tank and make the poopy go bye bye. Well while this is being done you can't flush the toilet without a rather nasty explosion, as the tank that you are trying to flush to is pressed to somewhat above sea pressure. Now submariners are generally a pretty smart lot, but every once ane and a while someone would either ignore the sign or not see it (how i have no idea) and I would be down there happily blowing shit to the ocean tabk pressure in the hundreds of pounds, when, whoomp zero pounds, flip the switch on the hull valve and kill the air, secure the line up and "investigate" the loss of pressure which invariably was someone standing in the head that just took a near super sonic turd to the face! Good times.... good times..... This sea story was brought to you by your friendly neighborhood former MM1(SS/SW)
As a Marine Veteran and a retired Ordnance Equipment Mechanic for SUBLANT at NSB KINGSBAY. I worked with MMS and TMs (the only normal people in the Submarine Community) Nukes and Sparkies are on a whooooole different plain. All that book knowledge pushes common sense off the brow!
My wife just reminded me of the Erfurt latrine disaster in 1184 when the German king held an assembly. The weight of the nobles gathered caused the wooden floor to give way depositing people into the cesspit where about 60 of them died
It took 8 days at sea until Commander Schlitt had to take a dump? Submariners are trained to hold in anything that could make noise, but that is another level right there.
To add insult to injury a British Museum actually has the plaque manual on how to flush the toilet from that sub on display in the museum. It was shown on an episode of Mysteries of the Museum.
Love you're videos, but there was a few things in this video that are not accurate about submarining. The first was that WW2 subs actually spent most of their time on the surface. They would dive to avoid counter detection and to engage in an attack. The second thing was that yes even though modern submarines do have septic tanks, it's not to bring it home. When they fill up we blow or pump all of the shit overboard, and sometimes we can even hear shrimp in sonar following the boat because to them its free food.
0:35 well no u-boats would spend most of their time on the surface compared to modern day submarines that stay submerged for months at a time. The bow of a u-boat is much more similar to your regular ship and that’s because they spent a lot of time on the surface where that shape was more efficient
Somewhat relevant to the video… 14 year Naval Submarine veteran. When qualifying sonar broadband I was in sonar when pumping sanitaria’s overboard. The funny thing is that sealife not only follows us all over but they stalk the free meal of us getting rid of solids. Enjoy your shrimp shipmate.
I love history I really do but this is the first even for me!!!!!! This seriously needs to get put in the history books. And congratulations, you officially broke me 🤣🤣🤣🤣👋👋❤️❤️
WW II U.S. diesel boats had "tank" type toilets aft for the crew and an air expulsion toilet in fwd. torpedo room. The fancy one was reserved for officers. Source: Qualified on two of these boats (older than me) in early 1960's. Yes, I'm ancient. On a different note, there was a U.S. submarine captain who parked his personal car on the pier, went to sea then had trouble parking his submarine. Knocked the end off the pier, putting his car in the water. He had to explain to the insurance guy how he sunk his car with his submarine. BTW- You do nice work. I appreciate your language skills.
Dude! You crack me up! Remind me to tell you the story sometime of how I, as a mechanized infantryman had to take a mondo dump out of the back of an M2A2 Bradley on a night road march.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Most expensive dump???
Seems right
Yeah
In ww2 absolutely but I think the most expensive dump in history goes to people using the toilet in Space....
Dude, that man wasnt ment for the sea. The ocean was trying to tell him something
For a single one. Only to be topped by the first dump taken in space! 😂 I'm just guessing on that last bit though.
“They engineered their way out of common sense”. All German manufacturing described perfectly in one sentence.
tyty
They engineered the shit out of it!
As someone who works on German built machines every day this is accurate
Germans have no concept of “simple”.
Man, I swear the Japanese are the same way. If you compare an American device to a Japanese device, the Japanese device is half as powerful and at least twice as complicated. I saw toilets with enough processing power to fly a Mercury-Atlas.
Meanwhile, Russian engineering is half as complicated, ugly as hell, and either works with critical parts missing, or works so poorly that you don't notice the difference when critical parts go missing.
There has been a more expensive bowel movement in history. If I’m not mistaken, I listened into a story from this oil rig worker a year back. Basically, when they we’re changing crews the rig had a small enough crew to transport on one company helo. Not 10 mins into the out trip one of the guys grabbed a barf bag, dropped trou and let it go. It apparently filled the bag and kept going so bad they had to turn around back to the rig because the guy couldn’t stop. Company regs also prohibited the other men from leaving again on the poop chopper because it was a health violation. (Must have been pretty bad cause these are a bunch of rough necks). It took days to clean the poop helo which was sitting on the only active helo pad the rig had. In the end it shut the rig down for close to a full week cost hundreds of thousands of dollars all because some guy with food poisoning couldn’t wait and see the rig doc.
That's fucking hilarious! Reminds me of the time one of the guys on the crew I worked for closing up mine shafts had to shit so bad that he couldn't wait till break time, and to the bosses disapproval he had to run off in the bushes and squat ASAP. The boss was getting mad because he was taking forever to come back, and we soon learned why. He had squatted so quickly that his sweatshirt dropped from where it was tied around his waist and he had filled the hood with his own shit, so when he stood back up it got all over him and he was taking forever because he was trying to clean it off himself with nothing but sticks and dirt and dead leaves.... While this story pales in comparison to the oil rig, I still remember the boss yelling at him that he wasn't paying him 25 an hour to play with his poop. He also had to throw away his seat cover at the end of the day since we all rode in one truck.
If I remember right they did not go back to the rig because they knew it would shut it down. When they landed they asked the guy if he was ok and then beet the wholy living well there was no more shit out of him.
There's roughly 21 feet of intestines in the human body and that fella had to empty it all at once.
Exactly how much do you think a U boat cost in WW 2? At an average of 20 million reichsmarks that is the equivalent of $1.5 billion in today's world.
@@robertsmith2432 U-Boats A. Are German and use the metric system. B. U-Boats don’t make profits.
A floater created a sinker...
I'll see myself out.
Stick around. Let's see what other kind of jokes can be had.
It is a shitty joke.
Schlit gets real when you drop a bomb that then gets a literal bomb dropped on you. Talk about a bomb-shell
Bravo 👏
😂
A German U-Boat captain, some of the only officers known to talk smack about Hitler because they were dead anyway, "accidentally" caused a malfunction that surfaces the ship without actually hurting anyone, and is "forced" to surrender, effectively keeping his crew from ever engaging the enemy just nine days before a war that everyone knows is over officially ends. This is some incredible luck....
As soon as I heard April 1945 that's exactly where my mind went, too. Nic's version makes for a goofy story but I'm pretty sure this is really a story about a captain looking out for his crew, finding a way to surrender without surrendering.
Brings new meaning to "drop a depth charge"
mad I didn't think of that lol
@@the_fat_electrician Also " Captain Had a rush of shit to the Brain" -Mighty Jingle
Or "Torpedo launched."
@@mohdafnanazmi1674😂 I love Mr. J.
I haven't laughed this hard in a week. My girl was looking at me like I'd lost my damn mind, so I played the video for her. She is currently hacking up a lung from laughing so much. You sir are doing the lords work.
As a former submariner, I can confirm that nowadays, we kind of have this setup, except now the compartment is just called a "san tank" (sanitary tank) and one particular division onboard, "A-gang" (auxiliary division, or non-nuclear rated mechanics) is responsible for periodically blowing sans overboard. There have been muiltiple occasions in my naval career where the valve lineup was fucked up and sans were blown inboard. It's a bad day when the galley watch captain (current cook in charge of meal prep and serving) sees shit water getting forced up through the grates into a veritable shit-cano and has to flee for dear life through the serving window.
...and then have to sanitize EVERYTHING before any of you eat anything but MREs again. Wait, do you all eat them hot, or can you not cook them off because of pressurized sub and what not?
@@ephemispriest8069If they are standard MRE's then they have flameless ration heaters that just need water to produce heat to warm up the meal.
@@Hybris51129 Yeah, but we have often been told not to heat them off in drought conditions for fear of "starting fires". I'm not saying it makes sense.
@@ephemispriest8069 There's strange and then there's Army strange.
And then there are the poor souls who did not see the big red sign that says "Head Secured Blowing Sans" and unleashes a shit geyser in the head. They would be the ones picking toilet paper out from under their eyelids.
I heard a story where a bunch of fishermen from a nation occupied by Germany, purposely tainted their catch of fish with laxatives because they knew a German submarine would eventually try to capture them and take their fish a provisions. Needless to say, the sub was forced to surface to prevent the newly destroyed plumbing from sinking it.
As a former mechanic that has worked on Mercedes and BMW, I can absolutely back up the statement about engineering themselves out of common sense.
I knew the mechanics would have my back on this lol
@@the_fat_electrician absolutely! I think my favorite was the Audi A6, which required the removal of the front bumper, core support, and some other ancillary things to change the timing belt. The Germans took a relatively straight forward job and engineered another 6 hours of labor into it.
dude, work on enough Volkswagons and you wonder why the Germans lost the war
@@jeffb7244 worked on those too. The liquid cooled, rear engine vans were 'special'.
Yeah, Germans don't do simple.
“They engineered their way out of common sense”. My grandfather was an engineer for the Airforce during the Korean War, and he would've approved of this. He had his hairbrained engineer moments, but for the most part, his job was to take blueprints that under no circumstances should be possible, and make it work. He was the old man you saw at the hardware store stocking up on WD40 and duct tape, and by God he made it work. One time his plane got shot down on the mainland (he was generally stationed in Tokyo and rarely spent time in Korea), and his superior officer chewed his butt out to get the plane running again AFTER they'd already been shot down. It took all the WD40 and duct tape he had, but he got it back in the air and safely to Tokyo (or thereabouts) again. That generation was truly something else.
Sounds like grandpappy told his stories one too many times and as stories do they got bigger. The 'blueprints' were made by better engineers than your grandpappy and he just talked himself up.
Challenge accepted, I will now devote my life to taking a single dump that somehow takes out two submarines.
u do it and I'll make the video lol
Make us proud boy!
It's good to know what you want out of life. Godspeed buddy.
Now, the question is how.
or get a American version to happen easy know how much we spend one one missile
I used to work for an old timer who was in the Navy as a young man and he loved telling stories at lunchtime. One such story was about how all the shitters on a boat were connected and drained out the back from one outlet pipe. Occasionally they would time it out to where they would flush every toilet at the same time save for the one in the back of the ship some poor S.O.B. was sitting on, because when every toilet but that one flushed, the pressure was so extreme it would blow out that last commode and whoever was on it would get a shitty surprise. (Pun intended) As if that wasn't enough of a laugh, he also told me his father was in the navy during WWII, but back then the "shitters" were just a long trough at the bottom of the ship every so many compartments where water would intake at the front of the ship, pass through all of the open troughs in a line and exit out the rear of the ship. So what they would do is gather up a shitload (pardon the pun) of toilet paper, set it on fire and toss it in the trough of moving water so that whoever was in the next compartment down would literally have a fire lit under their ass while taking a dump. Hearing this shit made me laugh so hard I nearly shit myself, (I know, too many shitty puns) maybe you could do an episode on these sort of pranks and make all of us laugh our asses off!
Nicely done
They also had a special red toilet seat that was reserved for those sailors that had contracted venereal disease while on shore leave. They didn't want to share STDs with the entire crew.
Sounds like a sea story to me.
Sounds like a sea story to me.
I heard the same sea stories from a retired mariners (old back in the early 90s) who started in the Navy pre WWII, they also had a dude who occasionally needed to help poke it out with a long pole when it started to clog. The shit stick dude
as an Ex-Submariner and an A-ganger( who actually was responsible for pumping or blowing shit out of the boat) this is Great. and the stories about blowing shit everywhere in a submarine is a real thing. this is GREAT. Thanks quackbang. top notch as always
It's interesting in that this sounds like how we blow shit from the san tanks now, except the dipshit taking a dump would also be pressurizing and opening/shutting the valves too. Did we have 1 way check valves in the system between the ocean and the tanks or would this theoretically be possible? Definitely not between the tank and the shitter as our galley once got a healthy helping of someone not closing the connecting valve between 1 and 2 when blowing 1.
Nothing like having an aux of the watch blow San 3 all over the galley.
just remember to pump sans overboard they use the same pumps Heinz ketchup use in their factories.
I keep getting great reasons to be grateful I chose infantry in the US Army. Filling sandbags is a lot better than mopping shit off the walls of a sub.
I did a better one in the shipyard one time. I was on the Greeneville and I blew our san 1 inboard on the Olympia. I had to go to the critique for that one as well, it was pretty awkward
4:06 "Stink pickle" OMG that made laugh until I had tears rolling down my face and my stomach felt like it was in knots! Too funny!
They engineered their way right out of Common Sense, that's freaking gold! Love your posts doc!♥
thank you!
@@the_fat_electrician your the best!
You can't reason someone out of something they didn't reason their way into.
I'll leave you with a short anecdote and simple suggestion.
When my daughter was learning to talk, after having first learned to walk, she kept trying to figure out why people's pockets made funny noises. Through the use of a conveniently placed small stuffed duck, twisted humor and a particularly loud fart, she was from then on convinced that everyone who farted had "Duck In Their Pocket". (YES my wife did beat me for this, while I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe)
As for the suggestion, you might consider updating your "Quack"Bang animation and/or making a "German Quackbang" variant of shirts & media.
"...blowing mud all over the ocean floor and I can't even get a plastic straw 78 years later!"
Hilarious and on the nose truth. Love it
Hah, nose.
The worst thing about paper straws is that biodegradable straws that don't turn to mush is a solved problem but virtually everyone seems insistent on ignoring the solution.
And no, the problem clearly isn't cost, because I've gotten instantly-disintegrating tree pulp straws in some of the classiest restaurants I've been in, while the marine biodegradable straw of unknown composition that's happy to sit in a drink all night is being distributed in bulk by an industrial-scale all-you-can-eat family-style chicken dinner operation.
Fun fact: It’s legal to dump raw untreated sewage in the ocean while transiting outside 12NM from land. I’d post a link to the regulation, but it will get deleted.
@@ikkinwithattitude
I mean, the easiest solution is to just grow a pair and not use a straw.
I don't need some wimpy little tube to get me my drink.
I spit coffee at least 6 times during this video. Highly entertaining, 10 out of 10 must watch. Love your content man, keep doing what you're doing. Laughing and learning is always a good thing.
Hands down my favorite channel on RUclips.
Also tell Herrera I have a Pauza .50 barrel that failed it's proof load and split Elmer fudd style if he wants it.
will do
Overdubbing that Bob Sagat shit bit from Dumb and Dumberer over that U-571 depth charge scene was a stroke of genius lol
Legendary, little did the captain know he was making history that day
Dropping history that day?
The most historic dump ever. Probably the most documented too
To be fair, most people who make history, probably don't know they are making it.
BRO - 2:06 That "armored" V-Dub is from right in my home town, I've met the owner. Like all VW owners, that's not his only one, but on the flip side, the other 50 don't run either.
Could you imagine being a Brit or American sonar guy trying to figure out what the hell that noise is? Only to find out years later it was somebody flushing the toilet?
"I think they are preparing to fire sir."
"They launched something, Captain."
"Where was the Kaboom? There should have been a kaboom."
Why am I picturing the Madagascar Penguins having this convo
@@jeffb7244 i am now picturing it also
it sounds exactly like how that would go xD
"Sir, there WAS something like a kaboom - and THEN they launched something."
Submariner here.
Getting the "Head" right on submarines can be hard. Sanitary Tanks ("Sans") are *BEYOND* nasty. When the Sans are full, we would pressurize the tank over sea pressure (this makes it a 'hard tank.'), then vent the entire nasty mess over the side. This means that *YOU CANNOT USE THE SHITTER BALL VALVE* whilst blowing sans.
Yes, "Blowing Sans."
There are legends out there whom disregard the warning sign that says in BIG RED letters "Blowing Sans, Do NOT flush" *and* ignored the latch on the ball valve lever to prevent actuation *AND* ignored the thin stream of very tiny, extremely smelly bubbles leaking past the ball valve. What happened to these legends? They *LITERALLY* blow sans all over themselves.
Imagine getting hit square in the face with a 150 mph 3" thick pillar of fermented shit.
Yeah.
Oh, and it will coat the entire interior volume of the head, too. Bulkheads. Deck. *Overhead.* Under the sinks. Inside the lights. Up the faucets.
*Everywhere.*
I don't want to even THINK about the fate of the fool who screwed up. It's beyond nauseating. Amongst other things, the perpetrator is the one who gets to clean the head. All of it. To the Doc's sanitary inspection.
And yes, I know one of these legends. They're not a myth. The Navigator on my first boat did this to himself.
Worse, he was the Officer of the Deck who granted permission to blow sans, so had no excuse.
You don't even rag on these poor sad sacks. There is literally no humiliation you can heap on them that is worse than what they experienced.
I know you posted this over a year ago but I just wanted you to know your post had me laughing so hard my vision literally started fading out from lack of oxygen at one point.
@@BD-xz6te glad to have entertained you. 🙂
"Commander Shlitt had to take a shit" is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in your videos. Keep up the great work.
That sounds like a line from a Dr. Seuss does history book or something. 🤣
THIS!!! This is how history SHOULD be taught!
This is an extreme version of when someone farts in your car and you have pull over for air.
I know a guy who once farted so bad in the car, his dog started crying.
Lol
First time they ever had an "air raid" under water. 😆😅😜😄
FIL farted and made me puke out the window once. To be fair I was SUPER hung over.
While going to a Ren fair in college with 4 buddies the guy riding bitch in the back let out a silent but violent and started laughing. It was so bad we had to pull over, the drivers gf puked, and we made him walk one full mile before letting him back in the car.
"Honk out a dirt snake"
That better than releasing the chocolate hostages!
After that I don't think I would've wanted to live to be 80 - 90 years old carrying that shame.
RIGHT?!?!? 😆😅😜😄
Can you imagine the headlines?
"U-boat commander sinks own ship with secret torpedo!"
Is it shame or is it honer? Man stinks u-boat sinks
Is it shame or is it honer? Man stinks u-boat sinks
It was also his 1st command, wonder if it was his 1st Uboat tour too? Fukn Lts! 🤣
"I fought in WWII. When I was in the Navy, I took out a German U-boat all by myself."
"Wow, that's so cool! How'd you do it?"
"..."
The U505 Type IX resides in Chicago at the Museum of Science and Industry. Captured June 4th 1944 by Capt. Dan Gallery. From Chicago. 1 of 4 that went to serve the US Navy in ww2. 3 brothers enter the Academy and go on to become Admirals. Dan Gallery was 1 of the youngest to graduate the Academy.
He was abt to be court martialed for saving U505. That is a complex story in itself.
Recommend making a video about Capt. Ramage and the USS Parche. Dude got into a 48 minute shoot out on the on the surface with 5 warships shooting 19 torpedoes sinking 2 ships and badly damaging 3 more all without going Belowdeck or submerging.
He made one idk if it was after this comment or not but yes indeed it's been made 😂😂
While it's been done well by Drachinifel, but I'd love to hear your take on the voyage of the 2nd Pacific squadron and the second battle of Tsushima during the ruso-japanese war. Taffy 3 during the battle of Samar where some escorts turned back the most powerful naval force assembled would also be much appreciated in your style. Love your work man thanks
3:00 "What did you do in the war, Grandpa?"
"I was on a submarine."
"Oh, cool! What did you do?"
*intense toilet flushing flashback* "It's classified."
When they say dump the ballasts they really had a whole different meaning
OMG, my stomach is turning over from laughing so hard.
2:35 preach, brother.
I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I genuinely look forward to these new videos and love the wealth of knowledge and dad jokes. I’ve already used a few phrases and I get along with all the older truck drivers I deal with lol
The fact that I'm watching this while Honking out my own dirt snake is just epic lol
SO WAS I 🤣🤣
am I the only 20 year old who does NOT use a phone while taking a shit?
Thank you for the ad read from Warwood Tool. That business is from my hometown, and I thank you for the support of them.
it's cool someone is still making a product like that in America
@@the_fat_electrician I remember you talking about a ship having 12 freedom fractions of Pittsburgh steel. Wheeling, which is about 45 minutes away, was highly regarded for their steel production as well. Lot of Wheeling steel ended up In Pittsburgh for fabrication. Everything got bought out and the big plants closed down. Proud of Warwood Tool for their business. We had anvils on our farm from those plants that’ll probably outlive the planet. Tough AF. Again, thanks for the support.
"Turd Torpedo", "Stink Pickle", "Dirt Snake", "blowin' mud", and "butt burrito". Some high quality toilet humor. Only pun that wasn't made was about Schlitt. I mean ... Adolf Schlittler? ... I'll ... I'll just see myself out.
If you ever do a video on the A-1 Skyraider, you HAVE to include the time an A-1 pilot hit the NVA with everything, AND THE KITCHEN SINK!!
It was a toilet!
@@darrellfarley1869 That was a completely separate incident by a completely different squadron.
This was the funniest segment I've watched so far... this would win a comedy contest anywhere... while at the same time being very educational
Love your videos thanks for everything you’ve done
Glad you like them!
Former submariner here (USS Kamehameha). Did have more than one time when someone ignored the sign on the flushing valve that said "caution blowing sanitaries" and subsequently blew a 700 pound air compressed sanitary tank inboard. It smelled about how you would imagine.
I could make several puns related to the name of the submarine you mentioned. But, I won't. Those puns are for another person to make.
Your videos and knowledge about military history never cease to amaze me and make me laugh my butt off! 🤣
I've been giggling like Ed the hyena over "Honk out a dirt snake" for the past ten minutes.
can you imagine being the guy that sunk a sub with a single flush? like damn, that stinker is going to follow you for the rest of your life.
The ultimate creeper turd.
I've heard this story a couple of times before but never had it explained the way the Fat Electrician did, and it had me rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.
Gives new meaning to the exclamatory statement "oh shit!"
“Honk out a dirt snake”😂 I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time!
Commander... schlit? I remember a beer of a similar name that also caused high-pressure butt torpedoes. Although sometimes it caused the dirt snake to disintegrate into something resembling flak shrapnel.
I just realized that I spent the whole video with my mouth wide open.... That is the craziest story EVER!!!
Those C rations are no joke
apparently lol
Between the cheese and peanut butter we understood why the c-rat toilet paper was named John Wayne toilet paper.... rough and tough and took shit off no one.
As a retired submariner, I laughed at most of your descriptions entirely too hard!!!
What about when they launched a toilet from an f4 in ‘nam “cleared hot” has a whole new meaning (correction it was an A1 skyraider)
2:45 reusable metal straws
Literally the best ad I've ever seen
I try to do them quick lol
@@the_fat_electrician quick and it wasn't some useless garbage like most ads it was something usable and important from a good company
@@the_fat_electrician
You know it's gotta be a decent product when they don't make you drone (pardon the pun) on and on about it.
Fat Electrician is the best at telling the stories! Love this man
Do a video on the USS North Carolina (my states ship) also known as the showboat also love the tf2 reference at 1:35
I can watch these vids all day. Love the content!
"being the only guy to go to the bathroom and actually blow it up."
🤣👍
"Honk out a dirt snake" 😂🤣☠️ I now have a favorite euphemism for squeezing out a stink pickle, thank you
That reenactment had me fucking dying. 🤣
As a master plumber… This is probably the most entertaining deuce I have ever heard of.
I need to start doing "Try not to Laugh" challenges with your videos. But hard mode. Use scotch instead of water. You fuckin' rock.
Saw this in a video from another RUclipsr but never got the full explained story. Thank you for this 🤝🏾💯💪🏾
Also I can't imagine being a 90 year old man telling his grandkids that pop pop dropped an atomic butt brownie that sabotaged a fucking submarine that is insanity 💀💀💀
You should do a video on the enterprise. The ship that got reported dead like three times
"I'm an Officer. I'm smart. How complex can it be?" My dude you just summed up my entire naval career... V/R ET1(SW) ret.
So once apon a time in the wee early 2000s I used to be a submariner, I also happened to be an A-ganger, and part of my job was "da poopy"
So basic flushing procedure was make sure bowl was full with flushing water by openeing the flushing water valve, until satisfactorily full, do your buisness, then open the flushing valve (ball valve at the bottom of the bowl with a long handle) which sent your buisness to the san tank.
Well eventually these tanks would become full. And the call would go put on the 2MC "Auxilaryman of the Watch, 2JV." So if it was my watch I would make my way to the nearest 2JV phone and be told to "line up to blow sans" which ment I would go to the heads and hang the nice red signs that say don't flush, then open the back up valve, go to lower level line up a tank to sea and cut the air in to the hard tank and make the poopy go bye bye.
Well while this is being done you can't flush the toilet without a rather nasty explosion, as the tank that you are trying to flush to is pressed to somewhat above sea pressure.
Now submariners are generally a pretty smart lot, but every once ane and a while someone would either ignore the sign or not see it (how i have no idea) and I would be down there happily blowing shit to the ocean tabk pressure in the hundreds of pounds, when, whoomp zero pounds, flip the switch on the hull valve and kill the air, secure the line up and "investigate" the loss of pressure which invariably was someone standing in the head that just took a near super sonic turd to the face!
Good times.... good times.....
This sea story was brought to you by your friendly neighborhood former MM1(SS/SW)
As a Marine Veteran and a retired Ordnance Equipment Mechanic for SUBLANT at NSB KINGSBAY. I worked with MMS and TMs (the only normal people in the Submarine Community)
Nukes and Sparkies are on a whooooole different plain. All that book knowledge pushes common sense off the brow!
I didn't hear a "No shit,guys.This really happened.I was there & seen it myself".
Hoist the Bullshit flag!
Videos get better and better keep up that awesome work
perfect opportunity missed 1:30
"they had to do it in a bucket"
"dear GOD"
"there's more"
"NOOOOO"
Oh, my God, that would have been perfect!
Soldier's tone would have sold it brilliantly!
My wife just reminded me of the Erfurt latrine disaster in 1184 when the German king held an assembly. The weight of the nobles gathered caused the wooden floor to give way depositing people into the cesspit where about 60 of them died
The first time in recorded military history that an officer was simultaneously promoted and DEmoted, to the "rank" (sorry) of Poop Meister General.
1:04 they engineered their way out of common sense. Hahahahaha
Shirt time? OMG that was hilarious 😂
I'm not military but the way you do these videos make my day happier 🤣
"Loose lips sink ships"
Well apparently so do loose bowels.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! 😆😅😜😄 EPIC!!
It took 8 days at sea until Commander Schlitt had to take a dump? Submariners are trained to hold in anything that could make noise, but that is another level right there.
German engineering at its finest.
To add insult to injury a British Museum actually has the plaque manual on how to flush the toilet from that sub on display in the museum. It was shown on an episode of Mysteries of the Museum.
I find myself waiting for your weekly videos. So fuckin hilarious and I learn something each time. You're fuckin awesome guy
Dude, this entire story is tied up beautifully by that last joke!!!
0:01 I didn't know Germany had Taco Bell back then.
Führer Bell
Your vernacular for funny Expressions slay me. A dirt snake? Omigod I'm so stealing that
I guess we all need to start eating more Taco Bell in an attempt to catch up to this guy
2:32 being from Hawaii, this has to be a valid argument and I agree with him 100%
Love you're videos, but there was a few things in this video that are not accurate about submarining. The first was that WW2 subs actually spent most of their time on the surface. They would dive to avoid counter detection and to engage in an attack. The second thing was that yes even though modern submarines do have septic tanks, it's not to bring it home. When they fill up we blow or pump all of the shit overboard, and sometimes we can even hear shrimp in sonar following the boat because to them its free food.
0:35 well no u-boats would spend most of their time on the surface compared to modern day submarines that stay submerged for months at a time. The bow of a u-boat is much more similar to your regular ship and that’s because they spent a lot of time on the surface where that shape was more efficient
Someone please tell me how he does all his videos without laughing 😂😂
I wanna say this is why we get one video a week. It takes that long to get all the outtakes cut. Really he’s a master of the straight face. 😂
Somewhat relevant to the video… 14 year Naval Submarine veteran. When qualifying sonar broadband I was in sonar when pumping sanitaria’s overboard. The funny thing is that sealife not only follows us all over but they stalk the free meal of us getting rid of solids. Enjoy your shrimp shipmate.
There once was a man named Schilt...
Oh great submarine, water is our life and body, spring is coming, warmth and water!
Taco Bell is about to step their game up
I love history I really do but this is the first even for me!!!!!! This seriously needs to get put in the history books. And congratulations, you officially broke me 🤣🤣🤣🤣👋👋❤️❤️
0:58 - "So instead they engineered their way out of common sense"
...Well... They were German.
WW II U.S. diesel boats had "tank" type toilets aft for the crew and an air expulsion toilet in fwd. torpedo room. The fancy one was reserved for officers. Source: Qualified on two of these boats (older than me) in early 1960's. Yes, I'm ancient.
On a different note, there was a U.S. submarine captain who parked his personal car on the pier, went to sea then had trouble parking his submarine. Knocked the end off the pier, putting his car in the water. He had to explain to the insurance guy how he sunk his car with his submarine.
BTW- You do nice work. I appreciate your language skills.
of course it was an officer, couldnt have been anyone else LOL
right lol
I fully expected clips from U-571, and I was not disappointed. Bravo as usual!
I'm waiting for a frozen space turd to hit the space station now
😆😜🤢
Dude! You crack me up! Remind me to tell you the story sometime of how I, as a mechanized infantryman had to take a mondo dump out of the back of an M2A2 Bradley on a night road march.