Hi Ryan, My avoidant partner broke up with me recently and I didn’t realize he was avoidant until after the break up and I’ve been thinking about the course of all the things that troubled our relationship. I’ve watched so many videos and read so many articles about avoidant and avoidant dismissive attachment, and your video has given me the most peace out of anything. I just want to say thank you and I really do think your advice is very valuable.
I like what you say about doing what is right for you. Text, phone call, showing up. If you let go of the expectation of what happens "next" then the reaction as long as relatively "safe" is ok. AND it helps to regulate the self to make better timed decisions in the future.
Another angle to approach the "It's ok" saying used here that has helped me alot is "It'll work out" (meaning: life will work itself out, if I trust in the process long term; and calmly work through ups and downs). [Sorta almost like: trust in existence, if that makes sense to anyone xD] It hugely helps me to dial down the desire for overly impulsive strong emotional poor decision making and brings back the calm and patience, over time. Avoidant patterns definitely in my experience have a strong correlation with an extreme dislike of highly charged negative emotional states (both within self and in others). I hope this is useful to someone. There is a definite huge lack of info and definitive research on avoidant patterns, keep it up! Thanks for these discussions!
Hi Ryan from southern Indiana. Thank you for your insight in these matters. I would like to hear your views on letting go of an Avoidant partner.. At what point do we decide we deserve to be loved as fully as is our capacity to give, and how do we move into a place beyond the hurt of allowing ourselves to invest in such an unbalanced union? Any tips for opening up after ending things yet still feeling stuck and guarded?
Hi Ryan, My avoidant partner broke up with me recently and I didn’t realize he was avoidant until after the break up and I’ve been thinking about the course of all the things that troubled our relationship. I’ve watched so many videos and read so many articles about avoidant and avoidant dismissive attachment, and your video has given me the most peace out of anything. I just want to say thank you and I really do think your advice is very valuable.
I like what you say about doing what is right for you. Text, phone call, showing up. If you let go of the expectation of what happens "next" then the reaction as long as relatively "safe" is ok. AND it helps to regulate the self to make better timed decisions in the future.
Another angle to approach the "It's ok" saying used here that has helped me alot is "It'll work out" (meaning: life will work itself out, if I trust in the process long term; and calmly work through ups and downs). [Sorta almost like: trust in existence, if that makes sense to anyone xD]
It hugely helps me to dial down the desire for overly impulsive strong emotional poor decision making and brings back the calm and patience, over time.
Avoidant patterns definitely in my experience have a strong correlation with an extreme dislike of highly charged negative emotional states (both within self and in others).
I hope this is useful to someone.
There is a definite huge lack of info and definitive research on avoidant patterns, keep it up! Thanks for these discussions!
Thank you for acknowledging you have made mistakes.
Thank you Ryan for letting me know know that the opportunity to love again will come. I’m excited.
Really loving the live streams. Keep them coming. 😊
Hi Ryan from southern Indiana.
Thank you for your insight in these matters. I would like to hear your views on letting go of an Avoidant partner.. At what point do we decide we deserve to be loved as fully as is our capacity to give, and how do we move into a place beyond the hurt of allowing ourselves to invest in such an unbalanced union? Any tips for opening up after ending things yet still feeling stuck and guarded?
RUclips is being weird. I just got this notification saying you were Live and then the description says it was streamed 3 days ago.