My main take away is the key component that commitment serves in happiness. "Make your decision, you'll never see the other one ever again." When we have a way out or a way to reverse things (a way out of commitment), we give ourselves an unending dilemma. It makes sense how that can add to or even create cognitive dissonance. We'll question not only that decision but our decision making process in general. Cool talk.
yes thats what causes a lot of unhappiness these days in that we have decisions thrown at us all the time what to eat wear buy etc and many are small decisions which will not have a big impact on outr lives the choices are too much
I know this is technically ten years ago, but i needed this comment and i didn't even know it. Couldn't agree more with this. Thank you for passing this message.
Brilliant. I wake up everyday and spend an hour lying there contemplating and visualising everything I could or should do, then end up doing and achieving nothing. Is your next talk on how we can focus our minds on limiting our many choices?!
Kind of reminds me of the story of the fox with the sour grapes. He couldn't have something and so he decided that in the end he didn't like it after all. We're always taught that that's a bad way to look at things but this is a new perspective on it
I must have show this to hundreds of people by now :D Had this been more widely known and appreciated, we would probably live in a completely different societ. Most relevant TED ever!
We have to constantly appreciate what we currently have and be cautious of becoming too entitled! Such a great talk. I had to re-watch it a few times not to miss anything!
I've often contemplated the ideologies of "happiness" in two most extreem stressful situations, a parent whose child was abducted and not know if he will ever see her in one piece again - and a parent so poverty-stricken, cannot feed his child. Their realities are so narrow, anyone can relate to it. If happiness is trained, like positive thinking, we realize even in these situations, "we deserve to be happy" while the shadow of guilt would engulf us as we say it.
Great speech, insightful. With just a switch of perspective, we can automatically get what we want--happiness! To summarize the talk in one sentence: "We have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose experience."
1) The gist is this: we hate making mistakes. We always want to make the best choices possible and have the best things happen to us. So we are constantly hunting for the optimum. The point is now that that isn't necessary. Oftentimes choices aren't trivial and we have a spectrum of potentially correct (optimal) choices BUT we don't have to figure out what actually IS the optimum. Rather, it is sufficient to pick one and go with it and our subconsciousness will do the rest.
My god, this guy describes everything that has happened in my life... Every time I face a fear that is unavoidable, I perform much better than I thought I could. Every time I face a fear that is avoidable, I half-ass my way past it and I am never happy with the outcome. I always wondered why that is, and this video illustrates that same psychological tendencies of humans... I guess I am only human!
Best and most informative talk I have EVER seen. It has actually in all seriousness changed my life in the most fundamental non-cliche sense of the word.
i look at it like this: happynes is something you can control. you can train your mind to be happy no matter what is going on in ur life or u can allow your mind to generate happyness or saddness depending on the good or bad things going on with your life. it honestly depends on what you prefer. some people actually like being sad and depressed subconciously simply cause their used to it. happiness and possitive living are alien to them cause they always look at their lives at a pessimistic view
Brilliant. I find this quite an inspiring talk. This information is valuable stuff when in the pursuit of happiness. Go D. Gilbert! Thank you TED Talks!
A huge point that many very smart people miss when it comes to questions of happiness, is missing that 'happiness' is not a state, it's a word, it stimulates an abstract of an imagined state, not a real one. Eskimos and the Japanese have a different word for it. Imagine how the behaviour of a civilisation may change if it had no word for it? With no imaginary state to exert themselves in the invocation, they'd probably be much happier! : )
Speaks in sophisticated, complicated language but makes some interesting points. Requires concentration and a desire to digest his words, but worth it. Interesting distinction between synthetic and natural happiness.
"We can overestimate/underestimate the level of happiness in events" - That's what he's talking about at the beginning, it's impact bias. But he also explains the reason for impact bias which is synthetic happiness. It's not so much about "creating your own happiness" (that would be real happiness) it's more about having your subconsciousness creating it for you. Our mind has certain defense mechanisms to protect itself against "feeling bad" (another example I think is effort justification).
@DarkEvilKitsune Right, but I think that everybody who is human has the potential to make good out of bad or whatever fits their needs. A human being simply cannot lose "what it is that can make you happy" - we were created to be happy and enjoy life. My stance is this: Life is what you make of it, and everyone in the world can be happy if they so choose to be.
"You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you put your mind to it. All you gotta do is put your mind to it. Knuckle down. Buckle down. Do it, do it, do it." - Roger Miller. It's a funny old song, but after all my years I find it rings true. I've met people who are rich, famous, ambassadors, politicians, bums, working men, punks, assholes, slaves, ramblers, addicts, you name it, all with fluctuating levels of happiness not dependent upon their conditions or upbringing.
@insidmal If we choose not to be happy, we're not. The point is that it IS a choice. I think that you are right about the "layer on our flight to Dallas" statement. The expectation that life will always be just right robs many of us of happiness. Life is 10, 000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. Only by seeing the inevitability of this can we find happiness in more than half of life.
This is absolutely right. I struggled for years about what occupation I wanted to become. I begged career advisers just to 'tell' me what courses to take in uni. Also world of warcraft, I could never stick with just one character because there was too many different choices, I kept paying for god damn race chances, and faction changes
There are a lot of unconscious things that work even though you are aware of them, e.g. the anchoring effect: the initial price offered for a commodity sets the standard for the rest of the negotiations, so a smart salesperson will show you something expensive first, because you are than more likely to accept higher prices for the rest. That works even though you are aware of it. I could imagine that synthetic happiness is similar in that regard, i.e. it is not hindered by you being aware of it.
Indeed, Satre's definition of freedom is very different than what most people understand of freedom. If you pursuit that kind of freedom you may become miserable but you don't have to become a wild beast to be free. Eventually freedom is relative to the unnecessary constraints of your culture, those are the ones you have to live without and try to make the society to be without.
The best judge of people's happiness in a non-pretentious environment is the people themselves. I quite the people may pretend they are/are not happy with their choices for reasons like shame or not wanting pity. However, usually with neutral people on trivial things, most of us tend to be truthful about our happiness of choices. This is what the experiment tries to show.Science of feelings aren't& can't be exact but, if the experiment is well set up, u can pretty much get acceptable results.
it isn't just about "wisdom", it's also about have the cognitive capacity to be able to deal with the amount of choices laid before you. to be a bit coarse, dumb people frequently get frustrated when they feel they have too much they still have to think about and consider. (there also appear to be issues where children are given too much of a say in how to organize their lives.. it can overload them and they can become sort of depressed because of that - that's all still being looked at, though)
Some of it is related to habit and will power. If someone's unhappy because they overeat, drink and/or smoke excessively, or are just plain unsuccessful with even simple tasks to the extent that it becomes routine, it becomes a self-perpetuating and habitual process that systematically erodes a person's will power and thus their ability to help themselves.
So at the end he says that unbounded ambition and unbounded fear both lead to negative consequences. Does unbounded fear inversely correlate to unbounded ambition in some instances?
It's kind of like going into 2 caves, one has 3 tunnels, which vary in length but will all result in your escape, and the other cave has just 1 tunnel, that leads to your escape, its more comforting to pick the one with only 1 tunnel, because it relieves us of having to rationalise or make a decision about the other 2 tunnels, even though the only variable is length. Crappy analogy but i hope you get what i mean.
I know some people that cannot produce 'synthetic' happiness very well at all. It seems to correspond to low self-esteem and a pessimistic attitude (IE, I choose this, my choices are wrong because I am usually wrong, therefore the thing that I chose does not give me happiness.)
I was always wondering how people thought of me, I was new at my school and I did everything for people to like me and wondered if they did, me and my friend were talking one day and she told me that everyone in my class hated me, ironically I didn't care, I was so happy because I was free from worrying about it because people weren't going to like me anyway so I should stop trying happiness really depends on your view on things
@1337DrummerNate Bravo, you're truly a benevolent person. Thanks for teaching me and helping me see in a new light. No matter what's going on around me, your mind can work wonders. It's truly all in your head. I hope I sound sincere because I mean it. You have helped someone out.
As St Bernard of Clairveaux (sp) was said to have said 'let your conscience be your guide.' Very wisely said. Also St Augustine of Hippo was said to have said, 'Love ...then do as you please.' Another wise remark.
I really liked this lecture. The Adam Smith quote is great. I feel that Aristotle... particularly Nichomachean Ethics(sp?) would help to deepen this discussion. Einstein said, that when we detect disunion or paradox, we should look for a deeper understanding that will uncover the hidden links that make it all make sense. Here, I believe an acute understanding of the nature of happiness(Aristotle) unifies the two types of happiness he talks about.
they are not subjective.. in a sense that people have their own explanation as to why they are happy. You can say x stimuli, triggers x neuronet (which is the neurons releasing neurotransmitters communicating to each other) etc etc. And, 'the brain working like it is meant to?'. If we are evolved creatures.. who are still evolving (nothing is static in the world due to cause and effect).. Then who has dictated what the brain is meant to be?
20:40 "When our ambition is bounded, it leads us to work joyfully. When our ambition is unbounded, it leads us to lie, to cheat, to steal, to hurt others, to sacrifice things of real value. When our fears are bounded, we're prudent, cautious & thoughtful. when our fears are unbounded & overblown we are reckless & we are cowardly"
@ICETEAPRODUCTIONS1 The level of denial that you present is truly breathtaking. Thank you for broadening my understanding of the strength of denial when apes don't want to admit the truth.
"Tis nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so" is true! we know all life has to eventually come to en end so we don't matter, if we all killed our selves or didn't it just doesn't matter! being happy just doesn't matter unless you have emotions and a mind to conclude it does but that is just thinking! someone dumb kids can be bullied and not realize it so they are happy, not because of what is happening but because of what they think about what is happening.
Ignorance is a currency all possess, not everyone in the same quantity but still. The fact that deep down we all know we're ignorant is why we pursuit knowledge in the first place, not always as much as we should, but still. There's no real divide between the ignoramuses and the knowledgeable, we're all shades of gray. The problem is not the reassurance that you give yourself, the problem is the intellectual laziness.
I spend way too much time considering pros and cons of future tech purchases (which often does lead to me being happy with the product, and I wouldn't do it otherwise), but sometimes I am happier just buying the item to stop the waiting, so i don't have to worry about making the wrong choice. not quite the same thing, but a bit related.
I think awareness does not matter. Even if we aware, we still rationalize our choices. The question about how to make a choice is a whole different one: we always have preferences, based on our brushed up memories of the past and our evalution of the good and the bad things of it, based on information we get through our senses. If not, if you really believe it does not matter, we will doubt as hell, like the people who had more time of making their choice.
Thanks for sharing the insight on the human brain, the evolution and happiness. I was surprised to learn that the happiness level of a 300+ million lottery winner and that of a paraplegic would be almost the same after a year of its occurrence.
@ThatBookGirl My experience is that one really has to accept that life has ups and downs and be open to all of the parts, especially the ones that we cannot control. My wife, who lost the use of her legs to cancer treatment, and I are very happy. We decided to marry after her illness and loss of function because we had grown so much closer. We practice gratitude every day. Our commercial culture discourages synthetic happiness because it feeds on the pornography of acquisition.
2) To avoid unhappiness your brain will trick itself into believing that the choice wasn't only potentially good but was in fact a very good/optimal one (it will "synthesize" happiness). Synthesized happiness is indistinguishable form "real" happiness BUT you can hinder it. By doubting your choices too much. When presented with options you shouldn't keep them open and constantly ponder whether you made the right choice but rather make the choice, make it final, go with it and never look back.
“A mathematical formula for happiness:Reality divided by Expectations.There were two ways to be happy:improve your reality or lower your expectations.”
Well I guess this is true for some cases. But I definitely recall experiences that I was not pleased with that were irreversible. The fact that I couldn't change it didn't make me happy...
Yeah, like being stuck in a toxic relationship and the decision to get out creates cognitive dissonance and misery. Therefore, "Just appreciate what you have."
@DarkEvilKitsune Possibly, but I disagree. I believe that everything lies in your head - you can do what you want and believe it or not - and obtain real happiness. No matter the situation, their state of mind is determined entirely on what they choose to make of it. This comes from attitudes, and a depressed person has a very negative one, resulting on no happiness whatsoever.
The more amazing things we are exposed to the less we are impressed and the more it takes to impress us. That's why we laugh at some of the things we used to find entertaining but now see as rudimental or cheesy (like old films or TV shows).
im a very depressed individual. my friends and family tell me that if i get a better paying job it will change my life and ill be a happier person... but ivve always disagreed and said that it won't make me a happier person in the long run. this is similar to that paraplegic and winning the lottery scenario.! i was right!
Since life is full of uncertainty. Those who are so sure of everything will soon be surprised that something out of left field comes their way. Such people then are ill prepared to handle situations due to never giving such challenges that come to all of us and they become a helluva lot more unhappy than anyone can imagine. There are people who plan their lives out in ways where nothing will go wrong. Sad thing is they have never really lived.
My only question is, even though it makes you happy, is it satisfying enough? i'm sure i can still be happy if i never became a popular youtuber or celebrity but would i be satisfied knowing i didn't achieve what I could have? I'm not sure if happiness is the only factor, but i loved this tedtalk!
One thing I question about in his talk is that how did he measure the happiness? The happiness is not like weight or height, you cannot just simply measure it psychically. Can some one answer me ?
for the students with no choice of getting the other picture - it implies an ignorance towards what the other option might have brought to them. but still they seem to be happy according tho the results..so it implies ignorant people are happier than people who over-analise their choices( they sometimes over analyse sometimes becasue their do not have comprehensive imformation to make the right decesion)
@majik2hanz Thanks for all of your insightful responses. There may always be too many variables to really pin down causes of happiness. One problem, as you say, lies in how we define happiness. Then, how we quantify this elusive quality in a way that is valid is extremely difficult. If you finally have strong results, how can the knowledge be utilized to increase happiness. If so, how do you know it increased happiness, especially when the definition of happiness was hazy in the beginning?
@7777Mads Yeah, that clarifies it. It seems to me that to say that we are making ourselves happy suggests a voluntary decision to do so. Dan suggests that we simply cannot help it; when we are stuck with an outcome, we just like it better. The unconscious machinery is at play, and we don't even notice. To say that we're as happy as we make our minds to be suggests that we are in charge, so that by consciously willing to be happy you become happy. But happiness follows patterns, just strange ones
My main take away is the key component that commitment serves in happiness. "Make your decision, you'll never see the other one ever again." When we have a way out or a way to reverse things (a way out of commitment), we give ourselves an unending dilemma. It makes sense how that can add to or even create cognitive dissonance. We'll question not only that decision but our decision making process in general. Cool talk.
yes thats what causes a lot of unhappiness these days in that we have decisions thrown at us all the time what to eat wear buy etc and many are small decisions which will not have a big impact on outr lives the choices are too much
Very well said Sr.
there's another ted talk touching this issue. It was an economist describing how more choice leads to less satisfaction
Lorenzo Bertola agree.... kiss method keeping it simple reigns supreme
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" - Tyler Durden
I know this is technically ten years ago, but i needed this comment and i didn't even know it. Couldn't agree more with this. Thank you for passing this message.
nice quote!
Brilliant. I wake up everyday and spend an hour lying there contemplating and visualising everything I could or should do, then end up doing and achieving nothing. Is your next talk on how we can focus our minds on limiting our many choices?!
I need this
You just said what I am doing fornthe last few months
It's called mindfulness practice: experiencing 'now' instead of thinking about 'then' or 'when.'
@@lydiaderhake2532 mindfulness practice?? Elaborate please
''Grass is always Greener on the other side''
But if someone asks... actually you liked this side better all along
Kind of reminds me of the story of the fox with the sour grapes. He couldn't have something and so he decided that in the end he didn't like it after all. We're always taught that that's a bad way to look at things but this is a new perspective on it
Grass is greener where its watered
I must have show this to hundreds of people by now :D Had this been more widely known and appreciated, we would probably live in a completely different societ.
Most relevant TED ever!
We have to constantly appreciate what we currently have and be cautious of becoming too entitled!
Such a great talk. I had to re-watch it a few times not to miss anything!
One of the most important videos I will ever watch on RUclips. Thank you.
I've often contemplated the ideologies of "happiness" in two most extreem stressful situations, a parent whose child was abducted and not know if he will ever see her in one piece again - and a parent so poverty-stricken, cannot feed his child. Their realities are so narrow, anyone can relate to it. If happiness is trained, like positive thinking, we realize even in these situations, "we deserve to be happy" while the shadow of guilt would engulf us as we say it.
Great speech, insightful. With just a switch of perspective, we can automatically get what we want--happiness! To summarize the talk in one sentence: "We have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose experience."
Happiness = Reality - Expectations
This is the best thing I’ve seen in years!! And maybe just what I needed this hour!
"Happiness is just an illusion caused by the temporary absence of reality. "
1) The gist is this: we hate making mistakes. We always want to make the best choices possible and have the best things happen to us. So we are constantly hunting for the optimum. The point is now that that isn't necessary. Oftentimes choices aren't trivial and we have a spectrum of potentially correct (optimal) choices BUT we don't have to figure out what actually IS the optimum. Rather, it is sufficient to pick one and go with it and our subconsciousness will do the rest.
Has to be one of the great Ted talks I ever listened to. Message came across very well...
My god, this guy describes everything that has happened in my life...
Every time I face a fear that is unavoidable, I perform much better than I thought I could. Every time I face a fear that is avoidable, I half-ass my way past it and I am never happy with the outcome.
I always wondered why that is, and this video illustrates that same psychological tendencies of humans... I guess I am only human!
Ok.......i would love to get in on the intellectual dialogue but i gotta ask
DID ANYONE ELSE HEAR HIM FART AT 9:30?
DUDE DROPPED THE BOMB!!!
Ahaha. XD. He totally did
Marcus Davis hehehe!!!
+Marcus Davis 9:29
Marcus Davis yuuup
HAHAHAHAHAH Thank you for this comment. Yes! I heard it! lmao!
his message is as simples as this: be grateful for what you have in your life in every moment.
So basically it's as the buddhist teach, to accept the situation
Yup and appreciate what you can and can't do 👍
Philippians 4:11 ....for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Best and most informative talk I have EVER seen. It has actually in all seriousness changed my life in the most fundamental non-cliche sense of the word.
that is one of the most valueable things a person can know.
A Felicidade não está no valor material das "coisas" mas sim no valor que cada um de nós lhe atribui.
The difference is not in the quality or legitimacy of the happiness, but the process in which it is produced.
I love the way this dude is so amped about everything!
i look at it like this: happynes is something you can control. you can train your mind to be happy no matter what is going on in ur life or u can allow your mind to generate happyness or saddness depending on the good or bad things going on with your life. it honestly depends on what you prefer. some people actually like being sad and depressed subconciously simply cause their used to it. happiness and possitive living are alien to them cause they always look at their lives at a pessimistic view
Brilliant. I find this quite an inspiring talk. This information is valuable stuff when in the pursuit of happiness. Go D. Gilbert! Thank you TED Talks!
This explains a lot of my past dissatisfaction - and my satisfaction with things I have not believed I had much choice with.
At 18:12, he says 'the irreversible condition is Not conducive to the synthesis of happiness' …. doesn't he mean the opposite? I'm confused.
So am I.
+Cindy Sanger I think he just misspoke
You are right Cindy, he said that, and that’s exactly the opposite of what he presented on the talk.. I am confused too
Happiness is a choice and not based on your circumstances. Check out the science that proves this is true.
Debbie you're going to have to give me details.
that's why people at starving and at war are as happy as billionaires
This is one of the best presentation I've seen. And the information is really helpful
i love this guy! best i've heard in TEDtalks so far
A huge point that many very smart people miss when it comes to questions of happiness, is missing that 'happiness' is not a state, it's a word, it stimulates an abstract of an imagined state, not a real one. Eskimos and the Japanese have a different word for it. Imagine how the behaviour of a civilisation may change if it had no word for it? With no imaginary state to exert themselves in the invocation, they'd probably be much happier! : )
Speaks in sophisticated, complicated language but makes some interesting points. Requires concentration and a desire to digest his words, but worth it. Interesting distinction between synthetic and natural happiness.
"We can overestimate/underestimate the level of happiness in events" - That's what he's talking about at the beginning, it's impact bias. But he also explains the reason for impact bias which is synthetic happiness. It's not so much about "creating your own happiness" (that would be real happiness) it's more about having your subconsciousness creating it for you. Our mind has certain defense mechanisms to protect itself against "feeling bad" (another example I think is effort justification).
@DarkEvilKitsune Right, but I think that everybody who is human has the potential to make good out of bad or whatever fits their needs. A human being simply cannot lose "what it is that can make you happy" - we were created to be happy and enjoy life. My stance is this: Life is what you make of it, and everyone in the world can be happy if they so choose to be.
"You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you put your mind to it. All you gotta do is put your mind to it. Knuckle down. Buckle down. Do it, do it, do it." - Roger Miller. It's a funny old song, but after all my years I find it rings true. I've met people who are rich, famous, ambassadors, politicians, bums, working men, punks, assholes, slaves, ramblers, addicts, you name it, all with fluctuating levels of happiness not dependent upon their conditions or upbringing.
When we choose an experience. Any experience. Buying a book, going on a vacation, hiking in the mountains, taking an education, starting a family.
@insidmal If we choose not to be happy, we're not. The point is that it IS a choice. I think that you are right about the "layer on our flight to Dallas" statement. The expectation that life will always be just right robs many of us of happiness. Life is 10, 000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. Only by seeing the inevitability of this can we find happiness in more than half of life.
This is absolutely right. I struggled for years about what occupation I wanted to become. I begged career advisers just to 'tell' me what courses to take in uni.
Also world of warcraft, I could never stick with just one character because there was too many different choices, I kept paying for god damn race chances, and faction changes
There are a lot of unconscious things that work even though you are aware of them, e.g. the anchoring effect: the initial price offered for a commodity sets the standard for the rest of the negotiations, so a smart salesperson will show you something expensive first, because you are than more likely to accept higher prices for the rest. That works even though you are aware of it. I could imagine that synthetic happiness is similar in that regard, i.e. it is not hindered by you being aware of it.
Indeed, Satre's definition of freedom is very different than what most people understand of freedom. If you pursuit that kind of freedom you may become miserable but you don't have to become a wild beast to be free. Eventually freedom is relative to the unnecessary constraints of your culture, those are the ones you have to live without and try to make the society to be without.
Great stuff ! High content quality and delivery
The best judge of people's happiness in a non-pretentious environment is the people themselves. I quite the people may pretend they are/are not happy with their choices for reasons like shame or not wanting pity. However, usually with neutral people on trivial things, most of us tend to be truthful about our happiness of choices. This is what the experiment tries to show.Science of feelings aren't& can't be exact but, if the experiment is well set up, u can pretty much get acceptable results.
This is the best of the ted talks ive seen so far. Very interesting!
it isn't just about "wisdom", it's also about have the cognitive capacity to be able to deal with the amount of choices laid before you. to be a bit coarse, dumb people frequently get frustrated when they feel they have too much they still have to think about and consider.
(there also appear to be issues where children are given too much of a say in how to organize their lives.. it can overload them and they can become sort of depressed because of that - that's all still being looked at, though)
Some of it is related to habit and will power. If someone's unhappy because they overeat, drink and/or smoke excessively, or are just plain unsuccessful with even simple tasks to the extent that it becomes routine, it becomes a self-perpetuating and habitual process that systematically erodes a person's will power and thus their ability to help themselves.
Happiness is a state of mind. Dan Gilbert is very smart
Being ignorantly happy is bliss is what I learnt
Maybe so, but if you're happy, does it matter? I'm not saying it does or doesn't, but it's worth thinking about
i guess this explains why i enjoy a song more when i hear it on the radio
gracias por poner los subtítulos dos diálogos después, gracias
I like to watch into the mind of other people. Thanks for sharing yours.
So at the end he says that unbounded ambition and unbounded fear both lead to negative consequences. Does unbounded fear inversely correlate to unbounded ambition in some instances?
It's kind of like going into 2 caves, one has 3 tunnels, which vary in length but will all result in your escape, and the other cave has just 1 tunnel, that leads to your escape, its more comforting to pick the one with only 1 tunnel, because it relieves us of having to rationalise or make a decision about the other 2 tunnels, even though the only variable is length.
Crappy analogy but i hope you get what i mean.
I know some people that cannot produce 'synthetic' happiness very well at all. It seems to correspond to low self-esteem and a pessimistic attitude (IE, I choose this, my choices are wrong because I am usually wrong, therefore the thing that I chose does not give me happiness.)
I was always wondering how people thought of me, I was new at my school and I did everything for people to like me and wondered if they did, me and my friend were talking one day and she told me that everyone in my class hated me, ironically I didn't care, I was so happy because I was free from worrying about it because people weren't going to like me anyway so I should stop trying happiness really depends on your view on things
Very intriguing, it's amazing how much this has changed the way I think about things
@1337DrummerNate Bravo, you're truly a benevolent person. Thanks for teaching me and helping me see in a new light. No matter what's going on around me, your mind can work wonders. It's truly all in your head. I hope I sound sincere because I mean it. You have helped someone out.
As St Bernard of Clairveaux (sp) was said to have said 'let your conscience be your guide.' Very wisely said. Also St Augustine of Hippo was said to have said, 'Love ...then do as you please.' Another wise remark.
I really liked this lecture. The Adam Smith quote is great.
I feel that Aristotle... particularly Nichomachean Ethics(sp?) would help to deepen this discussion.
Einstein said, that when we detect disunion or paradox, we should look for a deeper understanding that will uncover the hidden links that make it all make sense.
Here, I believe an acute understanding of the nature of happiness(Aristotle) unifies the two types of happiness he talks about.
Amazing... another approach to observe your own mind other than meditation. A constant bservation to ideas, thoughts and the relation to feelings.
they are not subjective.. in a sense that people have their own explanation as to why they are happy. You can say x stimuli, triggers x neuronet (which is the neurons releasing neurotransmitters communicating to each other) etc etc. And, 'the brain working like it is meant to?'. If we are evolved creatures.. who are still evolving (nothing is static in the world due to cause and effect).. Then who has dictated what the brain is meant to be?
20:40 "When our ambition is bounded, it leads us to work joyfully. When our ambition is unbounded, it leads us to lie, to cheat, to steal, to hurt others, to sacrifice things of real value. When our fears are bounded, we're prudent, cautious & thoughtful. when our fears are unbounded & overblown we are reckless & we are cowardly"
@ICETEAPRODUCTIONS1 The level of denial that you present is truly breathtaking. Thank you for broadening my understanding of the strength of denial when apes don't want to admit the truth.
amazing delivery, oratory
"Tis nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so" is true! we know all life has to eventually come to en end so we don't matter, if we all killed our selves or didn't it just doesn't matter! being happy just doesn't matter unless you have emotions and a mind to conclude it does but that is just thinking! someone dumb kids can be bullied and not realize it so they are happy, not because of what is happening but because of what they think about what is happening.
Brilliant! Thank you Dr. Gilbert.
I live in Monterey, CA. ....why am I hearing about this now 😕
Ignorance is a currency all possess, not everyone in the same quantity but still. The fact that deep down we all know we're ignorant is why we pursuit knowledge in the first place, not always as much as we should, but still. There's no real divide between the ignoramuses and the knowledgeable, we're all shades of gray. The problem is not the reassurance that you give yourself, the problem is the intellectual laziness.
I spend way too much time considering pros and cons of future tech purchases (which often does lead to me being happy with the product, and I wouldn't do it otherwise), but sometimes I am happier just buying the item to stop the waiting, so i don't have to worry about making the wrong choice. not quite the same thing, but a bit related.
I am in love with this man.
""happiness is synthesized .. don't try to find it somewhere"" like me for saving 20 min of ur life..
I think awareness does not matter. Even if we aware, we still rationalize our choices. The question about how to make a choice is a whole different one: we always have preferences, based on our brushed up memories of the past and our evalution of the good and the bad things of it, based on information we get through our senses. If not, if you really believe it does not matter, we will doubt as hell, like the people who had more time of making their choice.
Thanks for sharing the insight on the human brain, the evolution and happiness. I was surprised to learn that the happiness level of a 300+ million lottery winner and that of a paraplegic would be almost the same after a year of its occurrence.
@ThatBookGirl
My experience is that one really has to accept that life has ups and downs and be open to all of the parts, especially the ones that we cannot control.
My wife, who lost the use of her legs to cancer treatment, and I are very happy. We decided to marry after her illness and loss of function because we had grown so much closer. We practice gratitude every day.
Our commercial culture discourages synthetic happiness because it feeds on the pornography of acquisition.
2) To avoid unhappiness your brain will trick itself into believing that the choice wasn't only potentially good but was in fact a very good/optimal one (it will "synthesize" happiness). Synthesized happiness is indistinguishable form "real" happiness BUT you can hinder it. By doubting your choices too much. When presented with options you shouldn't keep them open and constantly ponder whether you made the right choice but rather make the choice, make it final, go with it and never look back.
“A mathematical formula for happiness:Reality divided by Expectations.There were two ways to be happy:improve your reality or lower your expectations.”
Interesting, a bit slow for tedtalks, but grows on you and at the end its really good! :)
Well I guess this is true for some cases. But I definitely recall experiences that I was not pleased with that were irreversible. The fact that I couldn't change it didn't make me happy...
Yeah, like being stuck in a toxic relationship and the decision to get out creates cognitive dissonance and misery. Therefore, "Just appreciate what you have."
Synthetic happiness vs natural happiness. Fascinating.
@DarkEvilKitsune I'm tired of this too. It's 4am here and I wanted to argue your position with you - that's all. Anyways it was fun - happy New Years!
@DarkEvilKitsune Possibly, but I disagree. I believe that everything lies in your head - you can do what you want and believe it or not - and obtain real happiness. No matter the situation, their state of mind is determined entirely on what they choose to make of it. This comes from attitudes, and a depressed person has a very negative one, resulting on no happiness whatsoever.
The more amazing things we are exposed to the less we are impressed and the more it takes to impress us. That's why we laugh at some of the things we used to find entertaining but now see as rudimental or cheesy (like old films or TV shows).
im a very depressed individual. my friends and family tell me that if i get a better paying job it will change my life and ill be a happier person... but ivve always disagreed and said that it won't make me a happier person in the long run. this is similar to that paraplegic and winning the lottery scenario.! i was right!
Since life is full of uncertainty. Those who are so sure of everything will soon be surprised that something out of left field comes their way. Such people then are ill prepared to handle situations due to never giving such challenges that come to all of us and they become a helluva lot more unhappy than anyone can imagine. There are people who plan their lives out in ways where nothing will go wrong. Sad thing is they have never really lived.
I love the fact that he mentioned zefrank.
My only question is, even though it makes you happy, is it satisfying enough? i'm sure i can still be happy if i never became a popular youtuber or celebrity but would i be satisfied knowing i didn't achieve what I could have? I'm not sure if happiness is the only factor, but i loved this tedtalk!
well done. enjoyed this one a lot, thanks.
and like he said in the end: there are some alternative choices who are better. But the price to pay should not to be to high.
One thing I question about in his talk is that how did he measure the happiness? The happiness is not like weight or height, you cannot just simply measure it psychically. Can some one answer me ?
Frank Xue I guess he made surveys.
Ask People whether they’re happy or not
How can I get the subtitles?
wow, That is sooo mental ... gotta meditate ...
Excellent presentation.
Insightful. Humorous. Game-changing ideas.
for the students with no choice of getting the other picture - it implies an ignorance towards what the other option might have brought to them.
but still they seem to be happy according tho the results..so it implies ignorant people are happier than people who over-analise their choices( they sometimes over analyse sometimes becasue their do not have comprehensive imformation to make the right decesion)
I really enjoyed this.
How do they measure happiness...? And in what units it is measured???
@majik2hanz
Thanks for all of your insightful responses. There may always be too many variables to really pin down causes of happiness. One problem, as you say, lies in how we define happiness. Then, how we quantify this elusive quality in a way that is valid is extremely difficult. If you finally have strong results, how can the knowledge be utilized to increase happiness. If so, how do you know it increased happiness, especially when the definition of happiness was hazy in the beginning?
@7777Mads Yeah, that clarifies it. It seems to me that to say that we are making ourselves happy suggests a voluntary decision to do so. Dan suggests that we simply cannot help it; when we are stuck with an outcome, we just like it better. The unconscious machinery is at play, and we don't even notice. To say that we're as happy as we make our minds to be suggests that we are in charge, so that by consciously willing to be happy you become happy. But happiness follows patterns, just strange ones
It's simple: gratefulness = happiness
@slaughtz One of the most smartest comments I've seen! Happy new year!
Great lecture.