Okay all I can imagine is kirito trying to pet a rabid bear. "by the angry growls, sound of my cartilage tearing and sensation of gallons of blood running down my side I could tell me and Mr. Bear were getting along swimingly!"
@@Linosek279 ...in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But, a foolish samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.
@zirath ashe Trust me... you eventually get bard telling stories if you've tolled them a huge number of times. It's probably gotten to that point with him and stories about hi former employes..
@@silverdays2909 Oh that. That's gonna take some time. The short and overly simple version is you just stand in front of them and do the RS 2 dance where you stand on 1 foot.
This video is brought to you by: - The "Kirito is Always Right Foundation" - The "What is Life Fund" - The "Association of Higher Understanding" - And by contributions from viewers like you. Thank you.
@@jayands I am convinced Mole Men is code word for "I injected some really strong shit". because creating a "kill switch" in your game requires a certain level of "I clearly didn't have staff that cared about me" to get past your entire game development team.
Never mind the resources being used fir vaginal fluid. Spare a thought for the poor guy who spend a fortune and years of his life studying programming and then found himself spending all his time just rendering arseholes
to be fair SAO was like his teen fanfic that somehow was brought back to life and shown to international audiences long after since he'd moved on and grew up as a writer. I mean give accel world a watch, it's no masterpiece but it's leagues above SAO when it comes to pretty much everything and while the anime isn't much to brag about you can tell the writing is improved from SAO
@@nisheshdahal2728 no amount of success can erase unimaginable shame. You can’t tell me you’ve never been haunted by cringey shit you’ve done in the past at night, lying in your bed...
this entire experience is just Kirito having a detailed fantasy while Asuna just stares at him like, "Oh god, I broke the virgin didn't I" as in abridged Asuna, not canon one
I respect this entire comment thread and you are all men and women of culture but seriously, this is just kirito's fantasy before Asuna is either freaked out ooooor doms him because we all know she's a sadist Proof? Kirito saying "My wife punches me during sex" lmao
Never have I felt so broken inside and so thoroughly entertained by another man's depressing life story. Needless to say, I feel for him and I'm so glad his life will be going back up from here :)
"I don't know how old you are, but you'll never be old enough to hear this." I feel that on a spiritual level. I'm 21, and I'm not old enough to hear this.
It is said that Asuna and Kirito c*mmed in the digital world(which is possible by turning off the Ethic Code which is weird but whatever, digital world anyways), but we think that they c*mmed in the real world, it is said that the NerveGear disconnects or divert all activity to the brain, which means they didn’t c*m, but during season 2, when Kirito was fighting against Death Gun(Terrible name tbh), we see that Kirito was sweating and being stressed in the real world, so there is a chance that Kirito and Asuna c*mmed. But that my friends is just a theory, AN ANIME THEORY, thanks for reading!
So that's the reason she's called "Lightning Flash Asuna". also, as someone who read all the books in middle school and loved this series, I can not for the life of me ever consider this chapter canon. Not because of the unrealistic sensations, or the juvenile understanding of sex, or even the explicit contradictions to the way the world does and should work, but entirely for the fact that in this depiction of Kirito and Asuna having sex,, Asuna does not top.
Ass: "We didn't make love. I DRAINED that poor sweet innocent little boy to satisfy my own desires. He looked more like a dried grape at the end of it but at least I had my satisfaction."
@Mint Fox Dude, there's nothing to worry about. This chapter IS NOT CANON in the first place. Reki Kawahara published this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was still a web novel. He hates the chapter himself now, and wishes that everyone forgot about it.
@@vicount3944 actually in the Sugary days side story, it is pretty much confirmed that they have wild sex during their honeymoon. Although he never goes into detail, and most likely, never will lol.
Mate this was a joke. The writer wrote it as a joke chapter and uploaded it in the fanfic sections of his website as a diss against hentai which he hates. However he hates this joke he made now and wishes everyone forgot about it.
@@glazeuniversagladis2499 no it's not a real chapter. It's a non canon chapter that the writer posted in the fanfiction section of his website. He says that he wants people to forget about the existence of this chapter.
im like 20 minutes in and im just getting to max's story and i have no idea who this guy is but him describing his life story has me damn near in tears. I sincerely hope this man has pulled his life from the brink and is living it up the best he can cause he seems to deserve it like no one else.
Honestly I came here for a funny and awkard reading of Reki's horrible sex writing but ended up getting invested into the life story of a man who seems like he just jumped out of a Netflix series and constantly saying to myself for no reason "Let's get this man 30k dollars" despite the fact I can't do that, and enither can anybody that can hear me
@@LowReedExpert1 Yep. Reki Kawahara wrote this as a side-story on his website around the time the web novel was released (before it was published as a light novel).
Yui: _"Dad, how was I born?"_ Kurt: _"Oh, it's a tale about a riding exploration quest inside hole between two mounds that released a waterfall at the moonlight."_ Yui: _"A riding exploration quest? Were there horses?"_ Kurt: _"No, Yui. But there were hoarses."_
@@uncle5164 I actually saw the abridged series by pure coincidence before the official anime, thinking _"Oh, this anime looks great! I'll watch the official release"._ Joke's on me, this proved to me that the Abridged series aren't just meant to parody something anymore. To be honest, I don't care if they don't make me laugh as long as they bring up a good version of the original story, like JoyRide Entertainment's Hero Academia Abridged.
It kind of is fanfiction. Reki Kawahara posted this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was a web novel. He now hates this chapter himself and wants everyone to forget about it. It's completely non canon.
@@beastunleashed657 that makes sense considering this happens back in Aincrad ark where Kazuto and Asuna are still like, adolescent teens when they did the did so Reki would want to forget he even wrote this lmao, since he also did that nasty shit back in Fairy Dance.
I like to think that this is canon in the Abridged universe, but as porn Kirito secretly wrote on his computer about his first time with Asuna and uploaded it onto the internet. Whether this is how it actually went is left ambiguous. Once Asuna escapes Alfheim she is going to see it and kill Kirito. (Edit) Thanks for the 1K likes everyone! 😀
And he actually definitely lasted like less than a minute and she probably didn't even finish. And if anything he was the one saying all those "no's" while Asuna was doing the Ra-...domming and then he wrote it like this
Max, as an MD, I have to say...survive, dammit! You are going to beat this thing, because nobody who can land a joke like that deserves to be in your situation.
I came down here and read this comment, and it confused me because I hadn’t heard the story yet. After the story, I got back down here and then I realized what this meant. Fucking hell. He has been through so much and people out there whining about less.
I've seen a Badfic where Timmy wishes to have the "Biggest di&% in the world", who is absurdly gross. I can deal with a normal porn story, even when is absurd and realisticly they would be clunky in execution.
Reading this horrible piece of writing has been, by far, one of the most painful and entretaining things I have ever done, and Kirito and Asuna reading it is just the best. Also, I really felt Max's story, and I hope he finds his way back to the light.
@@midgetthatnoonelikes2253 nope, the real voice actors of Kirito and Asuna are Bryce Papenbrook and Cherami Leigh in English dub, and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka and Haruka Tomatsu in Japanese.
@@justahologram2230 lol there's an actual chapter like that as well, with Liz dreaming about doing it with Kirito. It's written partially by Reki as well, but it is non canon, and so is 16.5.
In the same way the nerve gear stops your legs from moving whilst yoibrun in the game (despite you brain being the one sending the inputs) i supposed it would stop this too. Unless he cums so much data to glitch the game amd make him jizz irl too
@@manuelredgrave8348 but the gear doesn't stop you from breathing or your heart from beating, so it probably is designed to filter out involuntary actions, I.E. boners, climaxing, fluid production, sweating, hastened breathing, and a hightened heart rate are all involuntary
@@dukoth6552 I'm trying to imagine a completely still person suddenly getting an increased heart beat whilst cumming intensively on his hospital bed for no apparent reason, all the while doctors are freaking out
Context: This is an excerpt of SomethingWittyEntertainment's 24-hour "Help Danteofthewest Beat Cancer" livestream done on June 30th, 2018. SWE is reading chapter 16.5 of the original SAO light novel. (Yes, this is an actual chapter written by Reki Kawahara.) As far as I know, this is the only bit of the 24-hour-long livestream that's been preserved. Also, Danteofthewest is part of the youtube channel BloodYokaiStudios, which holds many of the abridged series he mentions in this video. So if you want more context in that area, go check them out.
Chapter 16.5 was never in any actual published light novels, but instead it was uploaded to the web platform that Kawahara was uploading the SAO web novel, way before SAO started blowing up.
Did the author really write a fanfiction about Asuna Trying to impress a master swordsman and trying to get him to plant his magic sword in her cave of wonders all to do battle with the fearsome dragon within?
@@LegDayLas It's not actually cannon though, it's weird, cuz it's like a thing Reki wrote in the fanfiction section of SAO's original web novel website
Yeah, it's a misstranslation, but of the "different meaning depending on context" variety. This sounds to be "だめ", (dame) , which its literal translation is "no", or "not good" or "don't do that" depending on context. However, it's also used as an interjection, and it's quite oftenly used during sex as such, similar to "Oh, god!". This is actually something that can cause a bit of miscommunication between Japanese and non-Japanese in a sexual relationship at first, since the non-Japanese may think they've been asked to stop, when it actually isn't. For that, they'd use the expression やめてください (yametekudasaki, "please, stop"). I'll spare the details of why I know that... 🤣
@@XanderVJ See, if you had wanted to avoid spilling said details, you probably shouldn't have included that last line. However, for the rest of us, I think our guesses are ranging from "Japanese speaking significant other/spouse" to "Living near a Japanese couple with rather thin walls" to "My parents had thin bedroom walls and I want to purge those memories from my brain".
The pure amount of awkwardness and cringe in this actually makes it believable that these are two teens attempting to fo the sex. But god that was hilarious.
This is literally a anime hentai comic that just shows two famous anime characters having sex and showing c*m go everywhere on everyone’s face and the most impossible way sex could be irl but written as text.
7:06 "... but I sacrificed all of the sexual energy that starts to awaken in all boys around that age to immerse myself into games." This broke me. Especially when I realised this wasn't something they just ad-libbed in there. It's actually THERE! Thanks for uploading this SWE. You are lifesavers.
People like to excuse this with things like "he wrote it as a joke" but... honestly this is just reki kawahara's awful writing in a microcosm turned up to 11
ok, not going to lie... I love the voice actor for Kirito, and the way they did it in the Abridged, my girlfriend says "I watched both, I love just how much better Kirito is portrayed in the Abridged. I saw who voices him and i'm like... Can I give this man a hug? he's now my fav voice actor"
@@DeathLord6545 Not exactly. Typically, an isekai is defined as going from the real world to some extraordinary world (think SAO, Re:Zero, etc.). A reverse isekai, on the other hand is going from some fantasy world to the real world (think The Devil is a Part Timer, Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, etc.). Hope this helped!
@@ChaoticNeutralMatt well I know it was created by Reki Kawahara himself but apparently he filed it under his own website's fanfiction category so luckily it is in fact not canon
No wonder he wrote 100 rape scenes after this one. Even when he tries to be romantic, this author just can't restrain himself form using words like "violently", "torturing" and "ABUSING"...
After the episode of when ronie and tiese almost get raped in SAO S3 reki did state he wants to write more lgbt stories and deviate from the suggestive scenes. Honestly I don't know if reki is just bending the knee to win brownie points or if he legitimately just wants to stop writing these sexual scenarios.
@@sentience3033 Dont try to defend him, thats not his goal and you know it. I hope he is trying to change and ill be glad if he can change. Even so, he definitely went a off his course with the, not 1, not 2, but 3 rapy scenes, and multiple questionable and rapish scenes.
@@noodle7380 did u even watch Alicization.There is no rape scene,u r the one of the disgusting person that use this word casually as f**k.the tieze and ronye scene in the LN was handled with the precision of a professional surgeon with the world's best scalpel. Imo it was masterfully executed by giving the proper buildup for Raios and Hubert to make us understand how scummy they really are, had enough world building to allow us to understand how they can get away with it and why they would do it, and gave us enough time with the characters to care for them and understand eugeo's desire to kill them for their actions. Then the reveal afterwards was just the icing on the cake by showing how all that build into the lore by showing how to even though these artificial fluctlites are very smart, they have physical limitations and some people can overcome them while others can't. All this buildup, all this amazing writing and world building and setup... and the studio is still A1 and the director is the director the ****ing asterisk war. In the end , if u want to understand those assualt scenes then read the light novel then u will understand the purpose or if u don't want to read it & still bark like a blind dog , then sorry 🙏bro , u r become idiot.
My first thought was that this was a chapter of 50 shades, but this will do. Also, just a quick note. As a software designer, one thing that instantly disturbed me when I realized that sex worked in SAO. Kaiaba had to test it.....
I'm actually suprised there was no overly detailed description of the SEX MECHANICS or something. > Using the perception honed over countrles battles in the finest of games, SAO, Kirito swifly identified a sexual weakspot on Asuna. Striking VIOLENTLY, as has his experience as a swordsman taught him, his arm having become a sexual Elucidaotor, he caused a a devastating sexual hit, dropping Asuna's sexual stamina and causing her to come. etc. , becase apparently they needed to specifically program in kisses, and not just run off general touch of different flesh mechanics.
popup appears do you wanna buy the 18+ dlc? kirito: wait how we are ingame and cant take off the vr headset. heathcliff: nice. fucking kirito once again.
Блажо Ђуровић apparently in SAO, intimacy requires a stat with predefined skills. At least it’s not tabletop, where there is a possibility of a critical failure.
"I keep opening the menu at you and using the attack object action but nothjing is happening!" "Assuna please stoooop, you are kicking me in the baaaaaaalllls" Bloody context sensitive one key actions :D
This chapter has done nothing but further prove two points 1. You should never do anything unless given explicit consent 2. Consent can be revoked at any point during intercourse, even in the middle or during the build up But the most important lesson I learned from this is You don’t write sex scenes into stories unless the stories are about sex, implications are okay at best, actually showing it is just…it’s just tasteless
Sergeant Superbeast bruh, maggots could crawl inside of your festering wound and lay eggs that will consume your body from the inside out. You’re free to think sex is gross, but calling it the grossest thing just makes you seem ignorant of the disgusting reality in which we live.
Theres a pretty good novel called Lucia that has some pretty well written/translated sex scenes. Tho i can still say i read it for the plot and not be lying, i would laugh my ass off while saying it
“Rekki Kawahara might be the least sexy man alive.” They should read the sex scenes in the original Fate/Stay Night next; Kinoko Nasu would like to have a word about this challenge to his title.
God damn Nasu and his fucking weird as sex scenes. But like the others said, it was an afterthought to sell it back in 2004. Reki just did to make Sword Jesus into Sex Jesus.
A lot of people surprised over Kiritos voice actor looking like that but I'm just surprised that's his real voice
Ok so I'm not just going nutz thx 4confirming
I mean, did they expect him to have a badass black longcoat made of ones and zeros?
@@nikolab.4065 yes of course why wouldn't he?
@@nikolab.4065 no just the ones
@@glennjamessephton7593 FUCK YOU, I want the ones!
Rosalia: Enjoy it while you can, this is the deepest you'll ever be in a woman
Reki's abominable sex scene writing: AND WHO DECIDED THAT?
Not lord Nuxinore
Escanor coming out of left field
It sounds like a virgin wrote this shit.
I should know, i am virgin.
@@giltzexuh Same, but even as a virgin, I could probably do better sexing than what goes on here.
well, Rosalia didn't know about Kirito's *#DinnerPlateDick*
So this is what Kayaba programmed instead of fixing the glitches and bugs in his sleep deprived state
Man's got his priorities straight.
@@ian7809 yes
I'm amazed he was able to do all this while King Flubar's Mole Commandos were closing in on him...!
Key word: "Sleep deprived". His brain was probably running off of 40% libido by the first week
@@AWACS_Snowblind That is assuming it wasn't already previous to the breakdown.
Asuna: **does literally anything in response to Kirito's actions**
Kirito: "I took this as a good sign"
"Ah! No, not that--!!"
"I think that's a good sign!"
"Oh yeaaa, I'm sure that will hold up in court"
-Asuna 2016
Okay all I can imagine is kirito trying to pet a rabid bear. "by the angry growls, sound of my cartilage tearing and sensation of gallons of blood running down my side I could tell me and Mr. Bear were getting along swimingly!"
@@chukyuniqul yes very "swimmingly"
@@usernamealreadytaken9330 Kirito : fucks Asuna again
It feels so weird hearing Kirito’s voice coming from an actual person..
“You get used to it.”
Ya same
Truly, the voice of a generation
I knew the voice actor was cool, but not this cool.
I don't know if that's his actual voice... or if its just an act
Kirito’s actor looks less like a teenager and more like your cool uncle from Tennessee who you stay with when your parents get into a custody battle.
That is a very specific situation
this is suspiciously specific
Can confirm OPs op... it's very much like this...
NOT LIKE I WOULD KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, B-BAKA!!!
Are you going through something? You okay mate?
@@durphin aiehs, aka,owpqks eobs.
I still can't get over that Kirito's Voice is actually his real voice... throws me off all the time.
Izzy is like the Richard Horvitz of Abridged series
wait thats not like a fake voice
I never realized he looked like my Uncle Jimmy
OH herre gud i thought it was fake
I just realized he sounds like the hamburgler and I can't get that image out of my head.
*his hands in Asuna's pants* "FOR YOU SEE!"
"Enough with the chit chat" Said Kirito, one hand in Asuna, another holding the remote of the powerpiint he was using
So, kirito is an aggressive lover. Honestly, i can see this being canon.
LONG AGO
@@Linosek279 ...in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But, a foolish samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.
@@optillian4182 Gotta get back, back to the past Samurai Jack!
Honestly doesnt feel like Mathews the voice actor of Kirito but instead Kirito is the voice actor of Mathew
Mathew is posessed by Kirito
RIGHT!?
Izzy is the voice of kirito and it's his real voice
@@starwolf7305 idk i like to belive that Kirito is the real person and this man is the fiction
He truly was destined to be a voice actor
Casually says “and then there was that time the pedophile shot at me in the pizza shop”
@zirath ashe at the time of this post, they now have 269!
@zirath ashe same
@zirath ashe Trust me... you eventually get bard telling stories if you've tolled them a huge number of times. It's probably gotten to that point with him and stories about hi former employes..
We need to get him to 420 lads!
Edit: We did it lads! I'm proud of us!
Timestamp?
"We slowly did as much as the system would allow"
Ah yes, they removed the clothes and did a Runescape dance.
Huzzah, a man of culture
@@tylerbennett5381 teach me your ways
@@silverdays2909 that's a broad statement. I'm gonna need specifics
@@tylerbennett5381 teach me how to seduce humens with the Runescape dance skills of the gods
@@silverdays2909 Oh that. That's gonna take some time. The short and overly simple version is you just stand in front of them and do the RS 2 dance where you stand on 1 foot.
This video is brought to you by:
- The "Kirito is Always Right Foundation"
- The "What is Life Fund"
- The "Association of Higher Understanding"
- And by contributions from viewers like you.
Thank you.
I can't breathe I'm dead XD
Lmao
Why did that bring back memories from PBS Kids
@Okay Tyler that's what I said that kind of remind me of the whole PBS Kids thing
So far this is the best comment I've seen hands down
This is what no sleep does to game designers. They end up programming stuff like this.
Sleep deprivation also creates death games intended to spite Metacritic.
Catch your Z’s, kids!
Before or after the mole men hallucinations?
@@jayands I am convinced Mole Men is code word for "I injected some really strong shit".
because creating a "kill switch" in your game requires a certain level of "I clearly didn't have staff that cared about me" to get past your entire game development team.
Fuckin' Bethesda.
@@jacksonscott3667 ...... so that's why you don't try to play god
37:16
“If they ask female players for pictures of their boobs, front lines!”
That’s literally all I could think of at this part
Allyson McCartney boooooooo!
That's discrimination!
OH BULLSHIT!!!
Fail!!!!
If they highjack conversations to talk about they're political view, front lines.
Never mind the resources being used fir vaginal fluid. Spare a thought for the poor guy who spend a fortune and years of his life studying programming and then found himself spending all his time just rendering arseholes
Lmao
Maybe that’s where the bug that killed players when there avatar dies is.... in the arse
Tell that to the people who create sex mods for Skyrim and Fallout.
@@EvilPumpkin Bruh
Maybe he enjoyed it. Maybe he went to the dude making the game and said "here, let me work on this."
Fans to Reki: "You disappoint me man."
Reki: "I disappoint myself."
*deletes post
Does it matter when his work is the best selling light novel and Anime sell lots
@@nisheshdahal2728 Yes
to be fair SAO was like his teen fanfic that somehow was brought back to life and shown to international audiences long after since he'd moved on and grew up as a writer.
I mean give accel world a watch, it's no masterpiece but it's leagues above SAO when it comes to pretty much everything and while the anime isn't much to brag about you can tell the writing is improved from SAO
@@nisheshdahal2728 no amount of success can erase unimaginable shame. You can’t tell me you’ve never been haunted by cringey shit you’ve done in the past at night, lying in your bed...
this entire experience is just Kirito having a detailed fantasy while Asuna just stares at him like, "Oh god, I broke the virgin didn't I"
as in abridged Asuna, not canon one
You mean the better Asuna?
@@panguskhan2825 he indeed means the better Asuna
I thought we agreed on abridged sauna being cannon
I think you're confusing what's canon, my man. Regardless, this is my headcannon on this story now.
I respect this entire comment thread and you are all men and women of culture
but seriously, this is just kirito's fantasy before Asuna is either freaked out ooooor doms him because we all know she's a sadist
Proof? Kirito saying "My wife punches me during sex" lmao
Never have I felt so broken inside and so thoroughly entertained by another man's depressing life story. Needless to say, I feel for him and I'm so glad his life will be going back up from here :)
I wasn't ready for the feels when I started watching this, holy shit his life sucks.
@@Winston_SA Who's story?
@Winston...could you add context?
@@CJ-pv4hb 10:18
@Charlie Thank you.
"I don't know how old you are, but you'll never be old enough to hear this."
I feel that on a spiritual level. I'm 21, and I'm not old enough to hear this.
Even Chitetsu Watanabe is not old enough to hear this... And im 16 soooooooooo...
*isn't even born yet *
I am the reincarnation of the spirit of cats, and I am not old enough to hear this.
It becomes a lot less rapey if you factor in the abridged characters. “No...no, Kirito. Stop. Do it like _this.”_
Does it? _DOES IT?!_
Equally rapey.
But magnitudes more hilarious.
@@dannylamb456 but in that context, it’s not Asuna who’s being assaulted.
@@floatingblaze8405 if its asuna going "hey dumbass thats the wrong hole" then yeah a lot less rapey
Abridged Asuna probably has far more kinks
Asuna: **Shakes head and tries to escape** No! Stop!
Kirito: I took that as a good sign.
"All my favourite SEX MANUALS said I was on a right path"
@@Blazo_Djurovic Eroges* XD
@@beastunleashed657 Electronic VISUAL SEX MANUALS.
Kirito: It’s free real estate!
Josh Richardson And this is canon Asuna.
Abridged Asuna was just straight up “are we going to do this or what?”
THE MAIN QUESTIONS IS: How were their bodies in real world reacting? Imagine nurse checking Asuna's sheets...
Imagine if her parents were visiting her.
Probably in the same way that they react to wet dreams.
Draven Ocklost SAO followed real world time. Since this took place at night I imagine that would be well outside visiting hours
It is said that Asuna and Kirito c*mmed in the digital world(which is possible by turning off the Ethic Code which is weird but whatever, digital world anyways), but we think that they c*mmed in the real world, it is said that the NerveGear disconnects or divert all activity to the brain, which means they didn’t c*m, but during season 2, when Kirito was fighting against Death Gun(Terrible name tbh), we see that Kirito was sweating and being stressed in the real world, so there is a chance that Kirito and Asuna c*mmed. But that my friends is just a theory, AN ANIME THEORY, thanks for reading!
Elijah Joseph Faustino wasn’t he using an amusphere at that point though?
So that's the reason she's called "Lightning Flash Asuna".
also, as someone who read all the books in middle school and loved this series, I can not for the life of me ever consider this chapter canon. Not because of the unrealistic sensations, or the juvenile understanding of sex, or even the explicit contradictions to the way the world does and should work, but entirely for the fact that in this depiction of Kirito and Asuna having sex,, Asuna does not top.
Ass: "We didn't make love. I DRAINED that poor sweet innocent little boy to satisfy my own desires. He looked more like a dried grape at the end of it but at least I had my satisfaction."
@Mint Fox Dude, there's nothing to worry about. This chapter IS NOT CANON in the first place. Reki Kawahara published this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was still a web novel. He hates the chapter himself now, and wishes that everyone forgot about it.
@@beastunleashed657 just call it his black history lmao
@@LimitPro1 Then he should write a canon one of them fucking and no one would talk about 16.5 anymore.
@@vicount3944 actually in the Sugary days side story, it is pretty much confirmed that they have wild sex during their honeymoon. Although he never goes into detail, and most likely, never will lol.
A couple of things:
1. This is awkward wtf was the writer thinking when he wrote this.
2. The VA's has such an amazing chemistry.
Mate this was a joke. The writer wrote it as a joke chapter and uploaded it in the fanfic sections of his website as a diss against hentai which he hates. However he hates this joke he made now and wishes everyone forgot about it.
@@beastunleashed657 somehow i doubt that lol. i dont doubt the latter bit though.
Abridged version
@@mehmemeh5285 Eh. He made it clear it was a joke / diss the moment he put it up as a fanfic. So thats realy no speculation.
Honestly I would like an SWE rewrite of just pure cross-the-line-twice cringe humor
12 minutes in this went from Kirito reading a fan fic, to "I got shot by a pedophile"
That's actually a real chapter in the original novel. This was written.
@@glazeuniversagladis2499 Somewhat amusing, but too touched by his story.
To clarify...he said he got shot AT by a pedophile....
Yea that doesn’t make it better...
@@glazeuniversagladis2499 no it's not a real chapter. It's a non canon chapter that the writer posted in the fanfiction section of his website. He says that he wants people to forget about the existence of this chapter.
And he’s still alive
im like 20 minutes in and im just getting to max's story and i have no idea who this guy is but him describing his life story has me damn near in tears. I sincerely hope this man has pulled his life from the brink and is living it up the best he can cause he seems to deserve it like no one else.
If you watch Rosario vampire it's tsukune
@@lololollololol2894 I've seen a few episodes years ago, hes the english VA? Or for like an abridged version?
And that bit about the headcanon bodyswitch with a president- is that a different parody series or something?
Honestly I came here for a funny and awkard reading of Reki's horrible sex writing but ended up getting invested into the life story of a man who seems like he just jumped out of a Netflix series and constantly saying to myself for no reason "Let's get this man 30k dollars" despite the fact I can't do that, and enither can anybody that can hear me
“The bed was slightly too small”
This bed ain’t big enough for the two of us.
Right. One of us has to leave.
*S H O V E*
It's over kirito. I have the high ground
"Real" romantic stories always go the titanic way.
@@Frabbiatti oh Star Wars, nice
And I quote from the abridged series. "My wife punches me during sex."
Thats called Self Defense, Kirito
Wow
In the abridged it's called "no matter how funny it is, don't mention the girl that once said you'd never have sex the instant you prove her wrong."
Is it really self-defense if she invited him in?
“Consent can be give freely at anytime, and can also be taken back at anytime.” -Consent is like tea
@@NotH111 NO
It took me a solid second to realize it was from the actual author of SAO and not the script from the Abridged
Hol up, I always thought this was a fanfic! This was legit?!
Yup
That what this is.. what the heck I was so confused
Wait holy shit this is canon?
@@LowReedExpert1 Yep. Reki Kawahara wrote this as a side-story on his website around the time the web novel was released (before it was published as a light novel).
I instantly clicked on this and that says a lot about me...
Same
Same bro
Good dammit man me too
Yup
Same
*Doctors/Nurses in the hospital:* “I THINK HE’S HAVING A SEIZURE! Or he must be fighting a strong Boss Monster!”
ITS HASNT EVEN BEEN A MINUTE AND UR HERE
It was both and it was neither
Haha I finally caught you after you commented. I’ve been looking for you.
"What's wrong with his catheter?"
Ah, it’s you. The most manly man.
"I slowly traced her collarbone and reached for her nape"
*Attack on Titan music starts*
Asuna: why do I hear boss music?
*MUSIC INTENSIFIES* I WILL ELIMINATE EVERY LAST TITAN.
Fun fact: Kirito in dub is voiced by Bryce Papenbrook who voiced Eren Yeager in the AoT dub.
kirito: i'm levi...
asuna: oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaa
kirito: and you're my titan
asuna: oh y.... NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Asuna said 'SASAGEYO' when she's c*mming
@@valentds kirito : im gonna thunder spear you so bad ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yui: _"Dad, how was I born?"_
Kurt: _"Oh, it's a tale about a riding exploration quest inside hole between two mounds that released a waterfall at the moonlight."_
Yui: _"A riding exploration quest? Were there horses?"_
Kurt: _"No, Yui. But there were hoarses."_
Ah yes, the wonderful exploration of Kurt and Ass.
@@KatsuTG You know it~
Garmagic2yFhenrakh9 it’s thanks to explanation point I was able to find the sao abridged series, I’ve never been so thankful for that
@@uncle5164 I actually saw the abridged series by pure coincidence before the official anime, thinking _"Oh, this anime looks great! I'll watch the official release"._ Joke's on me, this proved to me that the Abridged series aren't just meant to parody something anymore. To be honest, I don't care if they don't make me laugh as long as they bring up a good version of the original story, like JoyRide Entertainment's Hero Academia Abridged.
C:\> cl Yui.cpp /link
“That’s how.”
“Or Reki Kawahara doesn’t know what pubes are.”
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY REKI? I THOUGHT IT WAS FANFICTION!
It kind of is fanfiction. Reki Kawahara posted this in the fanfiction section of his website, back when SAO was a web novel. He now hates this chapter himself and wants everyone to forget about it. It's completely non canon.
saumil padwal Never let him forget.
@@thevoidlookspretty7079 I mean considering how much money he's made by now, lol he probably has XD
@@beastunleashed657 We must make him remember no matter the cost
@@beastunleashed657 that makes sense considering this happens back in Aincrad ark where Kazuto and Asuna are still like, adolescent teens when they did the did so Reki would want to forget he even wrote this lmao, since he also did that nasty shit back in Fairy Dance.
Imagine if they read this BEFORE they abridged that episode.
Oh...my god
I spat my drink out XD
I wonder if they have read the novels.
That’s where they got the idea
Petition to have them animate chapter 16.5 using only this audio?
Asuna: *calls the police*
Kirito: I took this as a good sign
This being abridged Asuna, she probably called them to get in a foursome.
I like to think that this is canon in the Abridged universe, but as porn Kirito secretly wrote on his computer about his first time with Asuna and uploaded it onto the internet. Whether this is how it actually went is left ambiguous. Once Asuna escapes Alfheim she is going to see it and kill Kirito. (Edit) Thanks for the 1K likes everyone! 😀
YES.
This would be fucking hilarious to see
The only way it should be intended, I would agree.
And he actually definitely lasted like less than a minute and she probably didn't even finish. And if anything he was the one saying all those "no's" while Asuna was doing the Ra-...domming
and then he wrote it like this
Don't be ridiculous, even an asexual virgin could write a better sex scene than this.
Kill him? Or would she just drag him into the bedroom...
“Kirito, I’m going to show you how this really works!”
I think this quote fits well:
“HOW DO I EAT YOU??!!!”
That would obviously fit oh so well 😂
DEAD 🤣
A child could figure this out.
Oh god.
You fucking broke me.
@@kirito_kun5072 I'd like to buy your orphanege please
Hearing max say “I am kirito master of sex” is just great
For some reason I was imagining post coitus de-virgined Kirito having evolved into someone with a deep voice (ie sexy Kirito from ep: 4)
I DID THE SEX
Max, as an MD, I have to say...survive, dammit! You are going to beat this thing, because nobody who can land a joke like that deserves to be in your situation.
incorrect of course, kirito is obviously the ceo of sex
@@Chunkboi What happens to him?
“I CANT SEE YOUR BOOBS IN THE DESIRED LIGHTING! DO THIS FOR ME, WOMAN!” Has to be the best sentence I’ve ever heard
Guy sounded like Dennis Reynolds there! 😂
"I totally thought she was flat as a board, but way to go, you have value to me as a person"
Jesus this man went through the wringer and into a trash compactor
When was this becase i hope guy can get a break.
I was really hoping he was lying but when he didn't crack up I was thinking "Oh god he's telling the truth "
I came down here and read this comment, and it confused me because I hadn’t heard the story yet. After the story, I got back down here and then I realized what this meant. Fucking hell. He has been through so much and people out there whining about less.
Do we know what he's up to nowadays?
This was simultaneously the best and worst 96 minutes of my life.
Reki Cowabunga *really is* a godawful writer.
Max's tradgedies are a better story than 16.5.
I think I’m scared and don’t know if I should watch it
I've seen a Badfic where Timmy wishes to have the "Biggest di&% in the world", who is absurdly gross. I can deal with a normal porn story, even when is absurd and realisticly they would be clunky in execution.
@@TheAsvarduilProject max's story was so sad and when he said he's "just about to turn 25" holy fuckin shit
How So?
Kirito Abridged's voice actor reads Kirito x Asuna smut for over an hour: the video
Change smut to official smut then you are good
Asuna's Abridged voice actress also was there reading Asuna's lines.
I like
Well then my videos are
Weeb try’s to act normal while regretting life for 1 minute or more:the channe
@@darkmonger6244 but mostly suffering
Reading this horrible piece of writing has been, by far, one of the most painful and entretaining things I have ever done, and Kirito and Asuna reading it is just the best. Also, I really felt Max's story, and I hope he finds his way back to the light.
wait r those the real voice actors
@@midgetthatnoonelikes2253 they are the real voice actors of SAO abridged.
I had no idea
@@midgetthatnoonelikes2253 nope, the real voice actors of Kirito and Asuna are Bryce Papenbrook and Cherami Leigh in English dub, and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka and Haruka Tomatsu in Japanese.
@TheBuragi Well, it is better than the source ever could be.
This feels like is Abridged Kiritos imagination of what happened. Rather than what happened in canon.
Somewhere between that and abridged Liz daydreaming about it
@@justahologram2230 lol there's an actual chapter like that as well, with Liz dreaming about doing it with Kirito. It's written partially by Reki as well, but it is non canon, and so is 16.5.
It didn't happen in canon tho, because it is confirmed non canon by the author, several times lol
When your watching this during a zoom class
What actually happened in the Abridged version:
*Kirito screams in terror while Asuna grunts aggressively.*
In the famous words of Sir Jack Dapper: “What the fu-“
This x1000
remember, they did this in a game with a profanity filter
He cut it of at the end of the first episode
But there was a profanity filter at first, so the game originally didn't allow cursing, but allowed sex
There was a ethics code off function
@@Neutral_Tired seems about right
Oh shoot
Would’ve laughed so hard if he said “Suck it Rosalia!”
imagine that their bodies are reacting to this in the real world while their families are visiting them
That would be a instristing convo
@@shadowwarrior2192 More than 5 times.. She won't stop leaking fluids!
In the same way the nerve gear stops your legs from moving whilst yoibrun in the game (despite you brain being the one sending the inputs) i supposed it would stop this too.
Unless he cums so much data to glitch the game amd make him jizz irl too
@@manuelredgrave8348 but the gear doesn't stop you from breathing or your heart from beating, so it probably is designed to filter out involuntary actions, I.E. boners, climaxing, fluid production, sweating, hastened breathing, and a hightened heart rate are all involuntary
@@dukoth6552 I'm trying to imagine a completely still person suddenly getting an increased heart beat whilst cumming intensively on his hospital bed for no apparent reason, all the while doctors are freaking out
Context: This is an excerpt of SomethingWittyEntertainment's 24-hour "Help Danteofthewest Beat Cancer" livestream done on June 30th, 2018.
SWE is reading chapter 16.5 of the original SAO light novel. (Yes, this is an actual chapter written by Reki Kawahara.)
As far as I know, this is the only bit of the 24-hour-long livestream that's been preserved.
Also, Danteofthewest is part of the youtube channel BloodYokaiStudios, which holds many of the abridged series he mentions in this video. So if you want more context in that area, go check them out.
Finn Underwood As someone who’s never watched a stream of theirs, do you know if there’s been an update with Max? His story is heartbreaking
Oh, thank you for the context. I was a little confused about all that.
Jack VanFleet His Twitter is no longer unavailable. Hoping he’s okay.
Chapter 16.5 was never in any actual published light novels, but instead it was uploaded to the web platform that Kawahara was uploading the SAO web novel, way before SAO started blowing up.
How'd things go for Max?
Did the author really write a fanfiction about Asuna Trying to impress a master swordsman and trying to get him to plant his magic sword in her cave of wonders all to do battle with the fearsome dragon within?
Whats the fearsome dragon in that context?
@@gamewizardthesecond canonically chlamydia, but with these two...probably teenaged virgin awkwardness.
@@KrawmKruach aaaaand we’re done here!
@@KrawmKruach
And in the abridged series probably a literal mini boss that spawn whenever he failed the sex mini game.
@@kyriss12 is it wrong i imagined a countdown timer for the "get it in mini game"
really do hope this becomes a reference in the next eps of SAOA
Evylin Lee same
They need to do a side episode just for this chapter
I need at least the
It was a winter when i first logged in SAO, i was a man of 14
That was killing me
Except they use the unofficial comments like "floppy fish on a board"
It already happened, this was supposedly their first night, before yui, or the lake house.
He should have ended this with a "Suck it Rosalia" to keep it canonical with the abridged.
No. The cannon should not involve rape.
@@nunyabusiness9307 This was written by the actual author... so canonically yes, the story involves rape. This is NOT fan fiction.
@@LegDayLaswait what the fuck
@@mr.psycho_the_nerd5790 Japanese authors are pretty fucked up; it's a cultural difference is what apologists claim.
@@LegDayLas It's not actually cannon though, it's weird, cuz it's like a thing Reki wrote in the fanfiction section of SAO's original web novel website
How would the canon cast of SAO react to their abridged counterparts?
Like I could see Abridged Kirito surprising canon Kirito in terms of douchebag.
yes
This needs to happen right fucking now
Bryce Papenbrook did appear in one of their videos while trying to open a pickle jar.
I can also see abridged Asuna pretending to be a decent member of society but abridged Kirito spoiling it all in an instant.
Oh god two kleins
Kirito: *spreads Asuna’s legs*
Also Kirito: we’re going cave diving boys!!!
Welcome to my clear world!
Here, a map!
It's dangerous to go alone take this
Wouldn't it be "pearl diving"?
@@margotrosendorn6371 *dragon hunting
Asuna: "I have maxed out cooking"
Also Asuna: *makes a 2-years-worth-of-creampie*
So now she has all the necessary ingredients to make/cook him an heir?
Блажо Ђуровић or compile him one.
Big Brain
With how many "no"s Asuna said, I'm wondering if its not a mistranslation.
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE SAFE-WORDS PEOPLE!
It's just Japanese
Yeah, it's a misstranslation, but of the "different meaning depending on context" variety. This sounds to be "だめ", (dame) , which its literal translation is "no", or "not good" or "don't do that" depending on context.
However, it's also used as an interjection, and it's quite oftenly used during sex as such, similar to "Oh, god!". This is actually something that can cause a bit of miscommunication between Japanese and non-Japanese in a sexual relationship at first, since the non-Japanese may think they've been asked to stop, when it actually isn't. For that, they'd use the expression やめてください (yametekudasaki, "please, stop").
I'll spare the details of why I know that... 🤣
@@XanderVJ dont spare details i want to know why you know this
@@XanderVJ I'd gladly accept more details. Teach me senpai!
@@XanderVJ See, if you had wanted to avoid spilling said details, you probably shouldn't have included that last line.
However, for the rest of us, I think our guesses are ranging from "Japanese speaking significant other/spouse" to "Living near a Japanese couple with rather thin walls" to "My parents had thin bedroom walls and I want to purge those memories from my brain".
I hope max is better now and I'm crying with laughter and enjoying this.
kirito might not grasp female anatomy, but asuna's female anatomy can really grasp kirito
I'm officially adding "plunge into her clunge" to my lexicon.
That and "meat saber"
@@leor4152 So... is that the next mod for beat saber?
DJ Wither beat the meat saber
@@O5-Quad OMG XD
@@O5-Quad dear God HAHAHAHAHAHA
This poor homie. His voice is like the hug I wish I could give him.
I kinda want him to voice act some one, but I know he is busy.
@@alexzanderroberts995 he sounds like a character they've had, but I can't place it.
@@thetrashmammal7389 I knew he sounded familiar, but kirito's VA said he never met him before.
John GhostHunter Tiffany
@@boiyado6717 TIFFANY! HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I?
The pure amount of awkwardness and cringe in this actually makes it believable that these are two teens attempting to fo the sex.
But god that was hilarious.
Fewer “no’s” and suchlike than my first time, but the amount of awkwardness and cringe is dead-on.
More like a teenager actually wrote this.
@@jamesharding3459 can confirm this statement. But hey, the practice after the first time was alot better cause you got the tutorial over with.
This is literally a anime hentai comic that just shows two famous anime characters having sex and showing c*m go everywhere on everyone’s face and the most impossible way sex could be irl but written as text.
@@cdnamy8832 Too bad *someone* stole the tutorial NPC so I have yet to complete it
Kirito, the Black Swordsman, the Savior of Aincrad, and a one pump chump.
@Okay Tyler had me in the first half not gonna lie
Actually I think that was Asuna.
"Asuna...seriously?"
Truly a hero of our time
lmfao
And yet he gets her off at least 5 time.... She probably would have exploded if he had done anymore.
7:06 "... but I sacrificed all of the sexual energy that starts to awaken in all boys around that age to immerse myself into games."
This broke me. Especially when I realised this wasn't something they just ad-libbed in there. It's actually THERE!
Thanks for uploading this SWE. You are lifesavers.
If only that was an actual thing 14 year old me could have done.
I feel like I 'm missing some context here
never before have i needed something so much and never known until i received it
Princess trunks
All hail lord vegeta!
F for dbza. Dragonshortz have me excited though
your pfp has given me the ability to kill
All hail to king Vegeta!!!
The author actually wrote this... THE AUTHOR ACTUALLY WROTE THIS
I have no words...
People like to excuse this with things like "he wrote it as a joke" but... honestly this is just reki kawahara's awful writing in a microcosm turned up to 11
I legit think that reki has bad writing, but danm dose it make entertaining shit
Damn. I literally thought this was written by a 12 year old virgin.
@@tin0thy no one said that Reki wasn't
Can we all agree during this the author was most likely hard(if he's a boy)
ok, not going to lie... I love the voice actor for Kirito, and the way they did it in the Abridged, my girlfriend says "I watched both, I love just how much better Kirito is portrayed in the Abridged. I saw who voices him and i'm like... Can I give this man a hug? he's now my fav voice actor"
What exactly is the “abridged”?
What exactly is the “abridged”?
@@Thouxanbanben type in SAO abridged in RUclips, watch all episodes and enjoy.
Kirito's VA looks and sounds like a fantasy character that managed to escape his original world and hide among ours.
A reverse Isekai
@@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 wouldn't it be a regular isekai? Since it's still just life in another world?
@@DeathLord6545 Not exactly. Typically, an isekai is defined as going from the real world to some extraordinary world (think SAO, Re:Zero, etc.). A reverse isekai, on the other hand is going from some fantasy world to the real world (think The Devil is a Part Timer, Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, etc.). Hope this helped!
I thought Asuna was meant to be the Grand Wizard
He's rocking that fallout 3, dials all the way to the left look.
I never thought I’d live to see a day where I hear someone say: “And I got shot at by a pedophile in a pizza shop.” Ain’t disappointed at all.
Don't get the ranch sauce from there
TheBuragi That’d be a good movie.
But did Asuna's ass make the 'plop' sound when she sat on that digital sofa?
The world may never know..
Kioba playing with sounds like when kirito fell in then dragon pit
Assuna'ss*
Asuna: "ah ah aaah aaaaaah" *big time rush theme plays*
Make it count play it straight dont look back dont hesitate WHEN YOU GO BIG TIME
@Verum Raixe hey hey listen to your heart now
@Verum Raixe
hey, hey, give it all you got now,
@@Linosek279 Oh-oh, oh-oh
@Verum Raixe Go and make your luck with the life you choose!
Y'know, this entire chapter proves one thing in SAO:A is Canon.
Kirito, 2nd Episode: "I like to think of myself as a teacher."
Except that this chapter itself is non canon?
@@beastunleashed657 it is in the light novels, which is what the anime was based on, so it was intended to be canon at one point
@@garycardona8278 Wait.. this was legit? Dear Lord.
@@ChaoticNeutralMatt well I know it was created by Reki Kawahara himself but apparently he filed it under his own website's fanfiction category so luckily it is in fact not canon
Wasn't the only reason he made it non canon was due to other countries' age of consents, which would probably clash with releasing it worldwide
Just imagine if Crusader Dad finds out about this Heresy reading
He wrote it
*loads shotgun with malicious intent*
Wait who's Crusader Dad?
@@OMartinez91 Bread Boys
Son have you been reading heracy recently unacceptable
This: appears in my subs at 2am
Me: sleep is overated anyway
Also me: holy shit how is this guys max still functioning with all that stuff
Yes and all the hugs we can give him
No wonder he wrote 100 rape scenes after this one. Even when he tries to be romantic, this author just can't restrain himself form using words like "violently", "torturing" and "ABUSING"...
After the episode of when ronie and tiese almost get raped in SAO S3 reki did state he wants to write more lgbt stories and deviate from the suggestive scenes. Honestly I don't know if reki is just bending the knee to win brownie points or if he legitimately just wants to stop writing these sexual scenarios.
@@elimDBZ That's because, he wants to show that There r people here who r misusing the technology, showing us Dark side of Technology
@@sentience3033 Dont try to defend him, thats not his goal and you know it. I hope he is trying to change and ill be glad if he can change. Even so, he definitely went a off his course with the, not 1, not 2, but 3 rapy scenes, and multiple questionable and rapish scenes.
@@noodle7380 did u even watch Alicization.There is no rape scene,u r the one of the disgusting person that use this word casually as f**k.the tieze and ronye scene in the LN was handled with the precision of a professional surgeon with the world's best scalpel. Imo it was masterfully executed by giving the proper buildup for Raios and Hubert to make us understand how scummy they really are, had enough world building to allow us to understand how they can get away with it and why they would do it, and gave us enough time with the characters to care for them and understand eugeo's desire to kill them for their actions. Then the reveal afterwards was just the icing on the cake by showing how all that build into the lore by showing how to even though these artificial fluctlites are very smart, they have physical limitations and some people can overcome them while others can't.
All this buildup, all this amazing writing and world building and setup... and the studio is still A1 and the director is the director the ****ing asterisk war. In the end , if u want to understand those assualt scenes then read the light novel then u will understand the purpose or if u don't want to read it & still bark like a blind dog , then sorry 🙏bro , u r become idiot.
@@sentience3033 So this isnt a rape scene? ruclips.net/video/DBEXSVwedDI/видео.html And how do you explain the questionable scenes and other rapes?
My problem is that I had to remind myself these aren't the cannon voices.
Yes they are.
What are you talking about, of course they are.
They're far more canon than the originals.
You're lying to yourself mate, and not in a good way.
SWE: Look forward to it tonight
1 Day Later
Me: Ill still take it
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
F.B.I. - oh
@@theratking3075 this isnt a beach
@@gennik7966
This is a bathtub!
@@deskbop
Oh~
Why do I feel like Kirito is a serial killer who goes outside in 3AM with a bag than comes back home with bloody hands
That's assuming if Kirito has the balls to do it in real life or breaks into doing it.
Probably because Kirito is a terrible person, sociopath even. One would refer to him as "The crowned prince of Douchebag"
They aren’t his hands.
Yoshikage Kirato?
@@AshRain-nu3vz
Long may he reign.
I must commend Asuna's VA because that seemed like it would be awkward for her since her lines were mostly the "moans" so props to you 👍
My first thought was that this was a chapter of 50 shades, but this will do.
Also, just a quick note. As a software designer, one thing that instantly disturbed me when I realized that sex worked in SAO.
Kaiaba had to test it.....
Jacob W Cursed
Cursed as shit, but also Bahahahaha!
now imagine when bugs happened
@@GoblinLord Some F'd up STDs man.
You dick...
You put that thought in my mind.
That also means he had to make sure- nope. None of that.
...as much as the System would allow...
why do I feel like there would just be an "immortal object" prompt right before penetration?
At least they don't take damage from the act...?
matt81093 depends on how you do it
I'm actually suprised there was no overly detailed description of the SEX MECHANICS or something.
> Using the perception honed over countrles battles in the finest of games, SAO, Kirito swifly identified a sexual weakspot on Asuna. Striking VIOLENTLY, as has his experience as a swordsman taught him, his arm having become a sexual Elucidaotor, he caused a a devastating sexual hit, dropping Asuna's sexual stamina and causing her to come. etc.
, becase apparently they needed to specifically program in kisses, and not just run off general touch of different flesh mechanics.
popup appears do you wanna buy the 18+ dlc?
kirito: wait how we are ingame and cant take off the vr headset.
heathcliff: nice. fucking kirito once again.
Блажо Ђуровић apparently in SAO, intimacy requires a stat with predefined skills.
At least it’s not tabletop, where there is a possibility of a critical failure.
The fact that this exists is enough to put a smile on my face…
I skipped ahead from the beginning and what I hear is:
"i wanna see your BREASTS Asuna!"
If they ask female players for pictures of their boobs, front lines
*Asuna and Kirito stare at each other*
Asuna: HOW DO I @#$& YOU!?
So this is the missing chapter of 50 Shades of Aincrad
F*** thats perfect 😆😆😆
HAHA LOVE THIS
"I keep opening the menu at you and using the attack object action but nothjing is happening!"
"Assuna please stoooop, you are kicking me in the baaaaaaalllls"
Bloody context sensitive one key actions :D
@@Blazo_DjurovicI fucking love this. This is canon now.
I hope Max is doing alright. I wish him the best of luck and Godspeed
Same i Hope that he'll get out of there
Guys, close your eyes and imagine the scene. It makes it at least 100% better.
i hate that ur right and now i cant unsee it
I didn't think reading or thinking about something like this would make me beg for death this much
Congrats, you have exceeded my every expectation.
Instructions unclear, dick caught in ceiling fan.
@@talon4618 thank you. I aim to displease.
Joke's on you, I can do that with my eyes open.
1:13:57 The signature line that everyone was waiting for...
The time It took me to find this comment, I had already found the scene. Pls more people like this...
Thanks king 👑
2… years… worth…
@@jacobrzeszewski6527 kirito: YOUR TOO LATE BATMAN IV'E ALREADY FILLED ASUNA WITH 2 YEARS WORTH OF CUM
batman: Laughs damn it kazuto
Our hero
This chapter has done nothing but further prove two points
1. You should never do anything unless given explicit consent
2. Consent can be revoked at any point during intercourse, even in the middle or during the build up
But the most important lesson I learned from this is
You don’t write sex scenes into stories unless the stories are about sex, implications are okay at best, actually showing it is just…it’s just tasteless
"Would you say that SWE is popular?"
6k views 15 minutes after it goes up
"I will take that as a yes"
The writing in this gives the impression that it's impossible to write about sex in an appealing way.
Sex is the grossest thing that has ever happened, it just so happens that it also makes the brain produce tons of good feel chemicals
Sergeant Superbeast bruh, maggots could crawl inside of your festering wound and lay eggs that will consume your body from the inside out.
You’re free to think sex is gross, but calling it the grossest thing just makes you seem ignorant of the disgusting reality in which we live.
@@Wertsir Hyperbole is a thing my friend.
Theres a pretty good novel called Lucia that has some pretty well written/translated sex scenes. Tho i can still say i read it for the plot and not be lying, i would laugh my ass off while saying it
Well I don’t know how to write a good scene, but I think making it less rapey (or hell not rapey at all) would significantly improve it.
I just fucking LOST IT at 42:20 when ‘NPC Gary’ said “I must save my family!”.
Kirito: "Thinking that i was teasing her too much"
Me: "He only JUST had that thought?!"
My God. Did Lemony Snicket write this man's life? Did he forget to take Madame Zaroni up the mountain before he moved to Texas?
Stephen Odom I love this comment
@@porchcollapse8612 and I love you random commenter
@@stephenodom3431 this is so fucking Wholesome
My thoughts went to _wow that's a series of unfortunate events_ as well.
Ah, don't think I didn't notice that Holes reference my friend.
Izzy how did you not end this with, "Suck it Rosalia!"?????
You know, if you don't look at the video, and just sit here in the comments.
It sounds like a scrapped Abridged episode, and it's hilarious.
I almost don't want to watch it now, feel like I'm gonna be let down
“Rekki Kawahara might be the least sexy man alive.”
They should read the sex scenes in the original Fate/Stay Night next; Kinoko Nasu would like to have a word about this challenge to his title.
To be fair that was made reluctantly this was made because Rekki wanted to.
@@dudedude7846 Yeah, VNs back then had to have sex or they wouldn't sell.
God damn Nasu and his fucking weird as sex scenes.
But like the others said, it was an afterthought to sell it back in 2004.
Reki just did to make Sword Jesus into Sex Jesus.
U n p r o t e c t e d
@@dmua9551 Don't forget comparing things to mollusks and starfish! Oh, and, "I want to do it again, so next time I can completely destroy her."
Dude poor Max like holy shit. People pray for this man. Like WTF we need a max foundation or something
Airagon Akatosh how about the kirito is always right foundation
@@matsmith6018 yes send all the earnings to the max foundation
“RoosterTeeth has Google or Gavin, we has Reki or Izzy” with both, the answers are surprising and disappointing.
A being of culture i see
"We slowly did as much as the system would allow" _Kirito you dynamo of passion._