I have done a Swedish death cleaning. I started decluttering about 5 years ago and a year in I read Margaretha's book. I hope thats how it is written. My family has always said that I am a realist so the fact that the word "death" was in the title didn't bother me one bit. While I loved the American idea of decluttering down sizing, and minimaliizng...the Swedish Death Cleaning actually helped to spur me on. I had never thought of it like taking the burden of our things off our loved ones . My mother had passed away about 8 years ago now so 3 years when I started my death cleaning and she is the reason I did. She got rid of absolutely everything she could and still live in her home she also put her own house on the market and sold it before she passed 6 1//2 months later! She had her funeral prepaid, the grave stone marker was in place, it was all done and while that made things a TON easier when you lose a loved one there are still alot of things that have to be taken care of after they pass so I consider this a gift she left me and I am giving the same gift to my daughter. I finished my decluttering/ death cleaning on March 1st of this year and I STILL see things I need to deal with. Enjoyed your video very much. Will like and subscribe and tell family and friends about it. Good job! P.S. I love my daughter so much that I don't want her agonizing over my death and trying to figure out what to do with my "stuff." I want her to stop the grieving as soon as possible and get on with HER life.
What a thoughtful gift to give to your daughter! This type of decluttering really does have a higher and more noble ‘purpose’! I’m glad you enjoyed the video! Thank you for the nice comment! ❤️
I totally agree with you. I love my daughters dearly too. Good reminder not to burden them with all our stuff. Dealing with death is hard. My sister passed on 3 yrs ago. She didn’t have much for us to declutter. Thank you, you encourage me too.
Hello, I lost my dad in 2020, and my mom in 2021, and my sister is currently dieing of kidney and heart failure. Both my parents had their own places and were hoarders, and I am the only one working on all this stuff. I am so glad to hear about Swedish Death Cleaning, because it is really helping me to get rid of things so that my little ones won't be burdened with stuff and will be able to grieve properly. I still haven't been able to do so. I understand why they kept so much because they didn't have hardly anything growing up and from painful childhoods. To anyone that will listen please spend as much time as you can with your parents, but don't force them to get rid of their items. Ask them questions about the items, listen to the stories and what they have to say. It will mean so much to you once they are gone. I have chosen to leave each of my children a notebook with letters and writings from me, and maybe one special item each. Thank you for your video and the information. GOD Bless you.
Oh Tanya, I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through! So much loss in such a short time span. I’m sorry that the clutter has gotten in the way of your ability to grieve. Your determination to not continue this cycle will be so beneficial to your children. I love your idea of passing down special notes to them. What a treasure! Blessings on your continued journey!❤️
I’ve read lots of books about decluttering and have been gradually donating and selling for years. This book in particular helped me focus on the why of decluttering. My son is disabled and will not be able to process what I leave behind. It’s my job to get rid of my stuff and get my estate in good order for my son.
It’s wonderful that you have tried this and found success! I am excited to start the process! We also have a child with a disability, so I very much understand your sentiment/reasons behind your cleaning!
I think this method of decluttering is probably one that has helped me the most. The biggest takeaway for me was realizing that memories associated with any given item are my memories. Other people will not have the same emotional attachment to something that I might have and I shouldn't expect them to. This one realization has allowed me to declutter so many items and I always have this one thing in my mind when I am trying to decide if I should pass something on or just let it go.
Thanks for the video! I love that you said not to guilt items onto a new owner-- just to make them available with no pressure or strings attached. I feel bad about this, but I literally have a couple things set aside that I don't want to own but don't dare donate until the giver eventually passes away. Instead of offering specific things to others, I would prefer an approach like saying, say, to your descendents: "I'm organizing my things. Is there anything of mine that you would really like to own someday?" And if you can live without what they ask for, give it to them then. And if you stil want it, note in your will that they should have it. That way, no one has to keep what they don't want and they feel more consulted.
Yes, that is a very good idea! Open communication during a process like this would be very valuable! I have heard of too many horror stories of families breaking apart after a loved one passes away and there is hurt feelings about who got what in the will. Very very sad!
I have been a minimalist for years, but this book inspired me to push the envelope. My son still lives at home while he's saving for his own. We walked through the house and I made a list of all the things he wants for his first place. Small things I've boxed up for him if I'm not still using it. Larger pieces I'm refinished, painting e.t.c to update them for him. I'm looking forward to even less in our home when he moves out. As for super personal mementos I chose a small trunk as my boundary for the amount of sentimental items I can keep, if it fits it stays. Journals & photos are the exception. Photos got their own box, journals have been burned (I did take pics of my best memories that I can revisit later). Other items I have let friends and family put their names on so my son will know who they go to when I'm gone.
It is so great that you and your son are walking this road together with amazing communication! Such a sweet time for the both of you, I’m sure! Great job!
I'm 48 and started my SDC a couple of months ago. Even the things I've done so far have been so liberating! I came across the idea on here and decided not to wait until my later years. I'm truly appreciating the freedom that less stuff is giving me, and I know my kids are too...they don't want or need the guilt or stress. And they certainly don't deserve to feel compelled to clutter their homes with my stuff!
@@ArrowHillCottage it really is! Our eldest got me the book, at my request, for my birthday this year. It isn't really a plan, or a set of instructions, is it? I see it as a book of permission...it gives me permission to let go, to say no, to get rid of, etc. I lost my baby sister a year ago, and she was a serious hoarder. Being left to deal with it (Dad is 80 and mum died 5yrs ago) all was definitely the kick I needed to look at our home. We are not hoarders, but we do have too much stuff and I really don't want our kids to be in the position I was, it was so exhausting mentally and physically. They deserve better.
@@buildjakapanuk Oh my goodness! I'm sorry for your loss! I'm sure that tragedy really changed your perspective. You are right that the book is more of a book of permission, and not a 'how to' manual.
I just found out about Swedish death cleaning. So far so good. I did throw out my high school yearbooks because I am 62 and haven't looked at them for at least 20 years. It's scary sometimes trying to decide to keep or not but my house is looking so much better! And so much less for my family to deal with when the time comes
I agree that sometimes the decision to keep or not can be very scary or stressful. Most often I find that if I’m debating at all, it means I can let it go - because the things I KNOW I want to keep, I don’t even have to question! Best of luck on your journey!
My mother and I made a list of her personal property, including notations about memories, and shared it with her children. We were asked to choose what we wanted. The list was then updated with the recipient’s name (SHE chose if several wanted the item) When she died, the process was so smooth. Thank you, Mom
That’s amazing! And I’m sure that during the process of making the list you heard plenty of amazing stories from your mom that you can cherish as well. ❤️
I have been reading about this method and it seems to make the most since to me. Need to declutter and like the idea to give to someone who may need it if I am not using it. Thanks for the inspiration.
I am in a situation where I can't do Swedish Death Cleaning to the house itself; I'm living with my 74-year-old mother and am in the early stages of caregiving... and because it's her house, the act of making decisions about what should stay and go is out of my hands. Instead of bemoaning the "helplessness" of the situation, however, I am actively organizing and minimizing my own personal items and getting my own affairs in order--doing everything from decluttering to digital minimalism.
That’s really great that you are being proactive during a tough situation. You are right that now is probably not the time to stress your mother out with making decisions. Loving her and enjoying your time together is the most important thing right now! ❤️
I agree that downsizing everything all at once is overwhelming. Decision fatigue is real 🤯. I witnessed it with my in laws when they downsized. I trying to avoid this myself by letting of things gradually now that I’m in my fifties.
I can’t even imagine making that many decisions in such a short span of time! Glad I have the knowledge now to start the process and do it more slowly!
I do declutter often but it always clutter again. I want to do the Swedish way. Yes I heard of Margarita. I think it’s good. Thank you. Hope to hear more fm you, saw yr channel by chance n it’s great. ❤️
I definitely think you should give it a try! It’s an entirely different way of looking at your things! Glad you found the channel! Happy to have you here 😀
Yes I heard of this but I had to hear your take on it. Love watching your videos. You don't overwhelm me with too much info. I'm trying to declutter my thoughts too. Lol I have a guitar my father left my son and I need to find a way to display it. I like your guitar on the wall idea.
@@ArrowHillCottage it was a gift given to my son before my dad died. He never met him. He was in hospice when he sent it so it's very special. I'll never forget when he was 16 he said you might as well sell it. My mouth dropped. He wasn't mature enough to understand.
My dad passed away 4 years ago in August. I have been going through my parents house since then, mom has dementia. It is overwhelming! Frustrating, emotionally and physically draining. To deal with all of the "stuff" and to think ahead of how best to take care of mom in the years ahead. They way I feel right now, my kids will be lucky to have a spoon left behind after I'm gone.
What about journals? I’m young but was so impressed by this book that I started Swedish death cleaning then. I have very little to my name, and I use all of it. The only thing I have too many of is journals. I don’t like most of them, but there are gems scattered throughout. I’m thinking of saving those gems and then discarding the rest, or even typing them all into one volume. Thoughts?
That’s a great idea! Maybe cut the best pages out and slip them into protective sleeves and put them in a binder. Or, take photos of your favorite pages and use an online book service like Snapfish or Shutterfly to get them all in one place.
Good info....this was a good book. I especially liked the video on youtube where she goes into her own daughter's cellar stoSrage and says, "What are you going to do with all this crap?" Hilarious! Maguerita is right on and doesn't mince words. Thanks.
Please share where you got your dining room table and chairs, they are beautiful! How would you approach getting parents on board with Swedish Death Cleaning?
Our table top was custom made for us out of white oak trees cut down to make way for the house! We actually still need to create the table base (future video!) - the chairs were an antique store find! An entire set of 8 from the 1920s is so rare! We love them! My parents bought them for us as a housewarming gift ❤️
As far as Swedish death cleaning - I would probably sit down and have a heart to heart with them, letting them know how you are feeling. Perhaps in that conversation mention a few special pieces that are important to you and ask to hear the stories about them. I think once the conversation gets started it might flow more naturally
@@ArrowHillCottage I have tried to broach this subject with my Mom on several occasions, but it never goes well. She takes exception to the topic thinking that at 78 years old I am implying that she is ready for death. She has even told me that with all the money my sister and I will inherit after the sale of her home, it should be our 'pleasure' to manage her belongings when she is gone!
@@charmingintrovert3240 Oh my! Perhaps she has an actual fear of death and doesn't want to be reminded of it. I suppose that she will ultimately need to make the decision for herself if and when to go through her belongings. And, if she never does it will end up being your burden to bear unfortunately. Perhaps you can ask her to at the very least make a short-list of her favorite items/ the ones that she wishes for you and your sister to hold onto and WHY they are special... so that you can start having conversations about her belongings. She may start to realize, when trying to narrow down the list, that the task is a lot bigger than she had previously thought!
Definitely trying , first I need to remove the items that belong to family members that have their own homes ......almost there 🥴 but then I will implement this method .
I haven’t officially done it but about a year ago I began going through this… I don’t know what to call it… where I started seeing everything in terms of “why do I have this crap?” All this collected stuff lost any meaning it had. This happened right after I turned 50. I heard about this recently on a radio show and it coincidentally aligns with how I’m feeling about all the stuff I have. I would like to read the book.
My mum knows that I do not want any of her things and that if it depends on me I throw it all away. I do not like to get anything. I have 2 sisters who might love to have something. What my things I do not care for them and give every month things away. And my kids know that whatever they think is mine can go away. The reason is that we are attached to things and memories are not attached to things or a person. Find out who you are. You can't bring anything along. Don't give anything to others. Learn that it is the memories that count.❤
Have you tried this decluttering method? OR Are you someone like me who is willing to give it a try and is just starting out? Let's chat!
I have done a Swedish death cleaning. I started decluttering about 5 years ago and a year in I read Margaretha's book. I hope thats how it is written. My family has always said that I am a realist so the fact that the word "death" was in the title didn't bother me one bit. While I loved the American idea of decluttering down sizing, and minimaliizng...the Swedish Death Cleaning actually helped to spur me on. I had never thought of it like taking the burden of our things off our loved ones . My mother had passed away about 8 years ago now so 3 years when I started my death cleaning and she is the reason I did. She got rid of absolutely everything she could and still live in her home she also put her own house on the market and sold it before she passed 6 1//2 months later! She had her funeral prepaid, the grave stone marker was in place, it was all done and while that made things a TON easier when you lose a loved one there are still alot of things that have to be taken care of after they pass so I consider this a gift she left me and I am giving the same gift to my daughter. I finished my decluttering/ death cleaning on March 1st of this year and I STILL see things I need to deal with. Enjoyed your video very much. Will like and subscribe and tell family and friends about it. Good job! P.S. I love my daughter so much that I don't want her agonizing over my death and trying to figure out what to do with my "stuff." I want her to stop the grieving as soon as possible and get on with HER life.
What a thoughtful gift to give to your daughter! This type of decluttering really does have a higher and more noble ‘purpose’! I’m glad you enjoyed the video! Thank you for the nice comment! ❤️
I totally agree with you. I love my daughters dearly too. Good reminder not to burden them with all our stuff. Dealing with death is hard. My sister passed on 3 yrs ago. She didn’t have much for us to declutter. Thank you, you encourage me too.
Hello, I lost my dad in 2020, and my mom in 2021, and my sister is currently dieing of kidney and heart failure. Both my parents had their own places and were hoarders, and I am the only one working on all this stuff. I am so glad to hear about Swedish Death Cleaning, because it is really helping me to get rid of things so that my little ones won't be burdened with stuff and will be able to grieve properly. I still haven't been able to do so. I understand why they kept so much because they didn't have hardly anything growing up and from painful childhoods. To anyone that will listen please spend as much time as you can with your parents, but don't force them to get rid of their items. Ask them questions about the items, listen to the stories and what they have to say. It will mean so much to you once they are gone. I have chosen to leave each of my children a notebook with letters and writings from me, and maybe one special item each. Thank you for your video and the information. GOD Bless you.
Oh Tanya, I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through! So much loss in such a short time span. I’m sorry that the clutter has gotten in the way of your ability to grieve.
Your determination to not continue this cycle will be so beneficial to your children. I love your idea of passing down special notes to them. What a treasure!
Blessings on your continued journey!❤️
I’ve read lots of books about decluttering and have been gradually donating and selling for years. This book in particular helped me focus on the why of decluttering. My son is disabled and will not be able to process what I leave behind. It’s my job to get rid of my stuff and get my estate in good order for my son.
It’s wonderful that you have tried this and found success! I am excited to start the process! We also have a child with a disability, so I very much understand your sentiment/reasons behind your cleaning!
I think this method of decluttering is probably one that has helped me the most. The biggest takeaway for me was realizing that memories associated with any given item are my memories. Other people will not have the same emotional attachment to something that I might have and I shouldn't expect them to. This one realization has allowed me to declutter so many items and I always have this one thing in my mind when I am trying to decide if I should pass something on or just let it go.
That is so, so true! Everyone’s life experiences and memories are different. That is a great perspective to have!
Thanks for the video! I love that you said not to guilt items onto a new owner-- just to make them available with no pressure or strings attached. I feel bad about this, but I literally have a couple things set aside that I don't want to own but don't dare donate until the giver eventually passes away. Instead of offering specific things to others, I would prefer an approach like saying, say, to your descendents: "I'm organizing my things. Is there anything of mine that you would really like to own someday?" And if you can live without what they ask for, give it to them then. And if you stil want it, note in your will that they should have it. That way, no one has to keep what they don't want and they feel more consulted.
Yes, that is a very good idea! Open communication during a process like this would be very valuable! I have heard of too many horror stories of families breaking apart after a loved one passes away and there is hurt feelings about who got what in the will. Very very sad!
Hi!
I'm a Swedish 43 year old woman and I have already began 🤗 this is common in Sweden 🇸🇪!
Good luck everyone!!
I think this is a very good practice! Best of luck to you as well! ❤️
I have been a minimalist for years, but this book inspired me to push the envelope. My son still lives at home while he's saving for his own. We walked through the house and I made a list of all the things he wants for his first place. Small things I've boxed up for him if I'm not still using it. Larger pieces I'm refinished, painting e.t.c to update them for him. I'm looking forward to even less in our home when he moves out. As for super personal mementos I chose a small trunk as my boundary for the amount of sentimental items I can keep, if it fits it stays. Journals & photos are the exception. Photos got their own box, journals have been burned (I did take pics of my best memories that I can revisit later).
Other items I have let friends and family put their names on so my son will know who they go to when I'm gone.
It is so great that you and your son are walking this road together with amazing communication! Such a sweet time for the both of you, I’m sure! Great job!
I'm 48 and started my SDC a couple of months ago. Even the things I've done so far have been so liberating! I came across the idea on here and decided not to wait until my later years. I'm truly appreciating the freedom that less stuff is giving me, and I know my kids are too...they don't want or need the guilt or stress. And they certainly don't deserve to feel compelled to clutter their homes with my stuff!
It really is such an amazing mindset shift, isn’t it?!? ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage it really is! Our eldest got me the book, at my request, for my birthday this year. It isn't really a plan, or a set of instructions, is it? I see it as a book of permission...it gives me permission to let go, to say no, to get rid of, etc. I lost my baby sister a year ago, and she was a serious hoarder. Being left to deal with it (Dad is 80 and mum died 5yrs ago) all was definitely the kick I needed to look at our home. We are not hoarders, but we do have too much stuff and I really don't want our kids to be in the position I was, it was so exhausting mentally and physically. They deserve better.
@@buildjakapanuk Oh my goodness! I'm sorry for your loss! I'm sure that tragedy really changed your perspective. You are right that the book is more of a book of permission, and not a 'how to' manual.
I just found out about Swedish death cleaning. So far so good. I did throw out my high school yearbooks because I am 62 and haven't looked at them for at least 20 years. It's scary sometimes trying to decide to keep or not but my house is looking so much better! And so much less for my family to deal with when the time comes
I agree that sometimes the decision to keep or not can be very scary or stressful. Most often I find that if I’m debating at all, it means I can let it go - because the things I KNOW I want to keep, I don’t even have to question! Best of luck on your journey!
This is very helpful, thank you! You have given me a new perspective on decluttering, and renewed my enthusiasm!
Oh I’m so happy to hear that Penny! Have a wonderful day!
My mother and I made a list of her personal property, including notations about memories, and shared it with her children. We were asked to choose what we wanted. The list was then updated with the recipient’s name (SHE chose if several wanted the item) When she died, the process was so smooth. Thank you, Mom
That’s amazing! And I’m sure that during the process of making the list you heard plenty of amazing stories from your mom that you can cherish as well. ❤️
I have been reading about this method and it seems to make the most since to me. Need to declutter and like the idea to give to someone who may need it if I am not using it. Thanks for the inspiration.
Awesome! Glad this video was useful for you!
I am in a situation where I can't do Swedish Death Cleaning to the house itself; I'm living with my 74-year-old mother and am in the early stages of caregiving... and because it's her house, the act of making decisions about what should stay and go is out of my hands.
Instead of bemoaning the "helplessness" of the situation, however, I am actively organizing and minimizing my own personal items and getting my own affairs in order--doing everything from decluttering to digital minimalism.
That’s really great that you are being proactive during a tough situation. You are right that now is probably not the time to stress your mother out with making decisions. Loving her and enjoying your time together is the most important thing right now! ❤️
I agree that downsizing everything all at once is overwhelming. Decision fatigue is real 🤯. I witnessed it with my in laws when they downsized. I trying to avoid this myself by letting of things gradually now that I’m in my fifties.
I can’t even imagine making that many decisions in such a short span of time! Glad I have the knowledge now to start the process and do it more slowly!
It’s exhausting!!
I do declutter often but it always clutter again. I want to do the Swedish way. Yes I heard of Margarita. I think it’s good. Thank you. Hope to hear more fm you, saw yr channel by chance n it’s great. ❤️
I definitely think you should give it a try! It’s an entirely different way of looking at your things! Glad you found the channel! Happy to have you here 😀
I am going to start this soon. I am in my mid fifties but one can never start too early.
Wonderful! I’m sure the process will be worth! ❤️
Yes I heard of this but I had to hear your take on it. Love watching your videos. You don't overwhelm me with too much info. I'm trying to declutter my thoughts too. Lol I have a guitar my father left my son and I need to find a way to display it. I like your guitar on the wall idea.
I think you will be surprised how much more you appreciate the guitar when it is displayed! ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage it was a gift given to my son before my dad died. He never met him. He was in hospice when he sent it so it's very special. I'll never forget when he was 16 he said you might as well sell it. My mouth dropped. He wasn't mature enough to understand.
My dad passed away 4 years ago in August. I have been going through my parents house since then, mom has dementia. It is overwhelming! Frustrating, emotionally and physically draining. To deal with all of the "stuff" and to think ahead of how best to take care of mom in the years ahead. They way I feel right now, my kids will be lucky to have a spoon left behind after I'm gone.
I’m so sorry for the overwhelming situation you are in. The good news is that you can change the path for yourself and your kids. ❤️
Would love to try
Give it a go! It can’t hurt anything! ❤️
Nice video 👌
Thanks so much!
What about journals? I’m young but was so impressed by this book that I started Swedish death cleaning then. I have very little to my name, and I use all of it. The only thing I have too many of is journals. I don’t like most of them, but there are gems scattered throughout. I’m thinking of saving those gems and then discarding the rest, or even typing them all into one volume. Thoughts?
That’s a great idea! Maybe cut the best pages out and slip them into protective sleeves and put them in a binder. Or, take photos of your favorite pages and use an online book service like Snapfish or Shutterfly to get them all in one place.
@@ArrowHillCottage Thank you! Such great ideas! I like them all!
Good info....this was a good book. I especially liked the video on youtube where she goes into her own daughter's cellar stoSrage and says, "What are you going to do with all this crap?" Hilarious! Maguerita is right on and doesn't mince words. Thanks.
Yes! I saw that video too! She definitely tells it like she sees it!
Please share where you got your dining room table and chairs, they are beautiful! How would you approach getting parents on board with Swedish Death Cleaning?
Our table top was custom made for us out of white oak trees cut down to make way for the house! We actually still need to create the table base (future video!) - the chairs were an antique store find! An entire set of 8 from the 1920s is so rare! We love them! My parents bought them for us as a housewarming gift ❤️
As far as Swedish death cleaning - I would probably sit down and have a heart to heart with them, letting them know how you are feeling. Perhaps in that conversation mention a few special pieces that are important to you and ask to hear the stories about them. I think once the conversation gets started it might flow more naturally
@@ArrowHillCottage I have tried to broach this subject with my Mom on several occasions, but it never goes well. She takes exception to the topic thinking that at 78 years old I am implying that she is ready for death. She has even told me that with all the money my sister and I will inherit after the sale of her home, it should be our 'pleasure' to manage her belongings when she is gone!
@@charmingintrovert3240 Oh my! Perhaps she has an actual fear of death and doesn't want to be reminded of it. I suppose that she will ultimately need to make the decision for herself if and when to go through her belongings. And, if she never does it will end up being your burden to bear unfortunately. Perhaps you can ask her to at the very least make a short-list of her favorite items/ the ones that she wishes for you and your sister to hold onto and WHY they are special... so that you can start having conversations about her belongings. She may start to realize, when trying to narrow down the list, that the task is a lot bigger than she had previously thought!
Definitely trying , first I need to remove the items that belong to family members that have their own homes ......almost there 🥴 but then I will implement this method .
That’s a good first step!
Very well said
Thank you!
Yes you pronounced it correctly 😊
Yay! 😀
I haven’t officially done it but about a year ago I began going through this… I don’t know what to call it… where I started seeing everything in terms of “why do I have this crap?” All this collected stuff lost any meaning it had. This happened right after I turned 50. I heard about this recently on a radio show and it coincidentally aligns with how I’m feeling about all the stuff I have. I would like to read the book.
It’s a very short book, but quite impactful! I would recommend it! ❤️
My mum knows that I do not want any of her things and that if it depends on me I throw it all away. I do not like to get anything. I have 2 sisters who might love to have something. What my things I do not care for them and give every month things away. And my kids know that whatever they think is mine can go away. The reason is that we are attached to things and memories are not attached to things or a person. Find out who you are. You can't bring anything along. Don't give anything to others. Learn that it is the memories that count.❤
Lovely advice! ❤️
Do you think I have a preoccupation with death? I’m only 53 and have been doing till his for 2 decades already 😂
Maybe you just understand better than the rest of us that life is too short to be bogged down with ‘stuff’!
You never know when your time is up, so sooner than later makes sense to me. Is it weird that I feel this way in my 30's? Lol