Carlos Castanada wrote a lot of books. Are you talking about the teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, or a Separate reality? I only seperated from my body once, but that was a different circumstance and I wasn't able to reproduce that experience. Thank you for sharing.
@@TEA-fj3ut yes indeed, the Don Juan books. Interstingly enough, I would turn out to excel more quickly then C.Costanada in the lessons and achieve purposeful out of body before even completing the reading of the book. NOW I no longer have the ability as readily as I did then if at all. I cant seem to do it anymore. Tried during my 8 months in prison to no avail. I thought it would make a fine escape from imprisonment but no such luck anymore. I am too stressed depressed and broken now. But i can wait till dead to do that and far more.
Sometimes these thumb downs were just accidents.. It happened to me before that I had pressed thumb down with no intention of doing so.. It just accidents im sure of that.
@@doggiestylepetresort It's not cruel to provide feedback. It doesn't come from hatred. Rayzer rambles a bit, and some people just want to get to the point.
When ever I get depressed I seek counsel from the animals...they don't have any generational gaps, social justice hangups or rules of fashion, social behavior...We humans love to overcomplicate ourselves into oblivion.
You said it. So true. Especially worse with every new further indoctrinated generation. So many pitfalls in life today. Animals and nature are God's gift to us that way among others.
I agree with you. People who don't know how strong bonds are between human and animals have never owned a pet. They are God's gift to us, they love unconditionally, they are always there to comfort you in times of distress, and they will be with you long after they have passed. We will see them again, those that say animals don't have souls never owned a dog, cat, bird, or otherwise. God bless you!
My daddy killed himself in 2019, he shot himself in the temple. He died 24 hrs later. He was in Mexico at a ranch, alone. By the time I got to where he was (at a hospital) he was gone. I wanted to say goodbye. My big brother was there with him, i heard him cry like never in my life and it hurt my soul not being able to hug him. So hard to know he was there and alone. My dad thought about suicide from a younger age ( found out after he passed away) what hurt me was the way he died, the pain he must have felt, the loneliness, what he must have felt in his heart ...all that but not death because i understand that its part of life. He was away most of my life but i adored my dad and he knew it and i told him many times how much i loved him, kissed him so much the last time i saw him alive. I miss him, miss knowing that i cant physically see him again. He had this planned, he literally dug his own grave next to his sister, he had his funeral paid for, oh this hurt beyond words, just to imagine what kind of pain he must have felt, i know he cried alone and that is what hurts. After his death i cried and yelled at God why? Why my Daddy? I heard this “ dont look for God in the outside He is within” that has changed my life. Shortly after My Dad came to me in a dream and he literally walked me out of the house i was living in at that time, while i walked behind him there were crocodiles and snakes coming from under the walls and trying to get me and he kicked them all and walked me outside to safety, a few months later i had alot of problems in that house and had to sell it but not before going through hell literally, legal and money issues but at the end i sold the house and made a huge profit, i know my Daddy helped me and now i know that he is okay. He is not in hell like the christians told me, i actually saw him again and he said he was not in the cemetery that he was in my heart. I am now at peace with his death because i know he is ok. I have alot of dreams before things happen, even my daughters death i dreamt too. God is real, he is within us all🙏🏼❤️
You are correct ,Gala. I hope that sharing your story here helped in some small way. Giving it away to the world helps take it off your back a bit. I hope you continue to heal. Christians and Catholics are wrong about suicide. Only healing and comfort waits for them on the other side. But their spirit may feel compelled to live this life again because in many cases they didn't fulfill their lifes mission by cutting it short. But its all in the bigger plan. Gods plan. God bless you and yours. Be well out there.
Sorry I'm back again you say you never had no time to say goodbye that's why it isn't no goodbye just say to him that you love him he can hear you you cannot see that world
@@rayzerwrecker70 rayzer - Catholics are CHRISTIAN!!!! And there is only ONE LIFE, Thank-God!!!! You don't come back as a "Lady Bug" or a Famous Pianist, you go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. MOST go to Purgatory!!!!
thank you for sharing this i often feel i am the only person in the whole world who feels like this . since i was 7 yrs and now 67. suffered all my life with deep dark depression and never felt i belonged. you have brightened my life by sharing. depression is very painful in so many ways. god bless you. x
@@barbarachristina2026 And thank you for visiting and leaving your kind words. Let us never believe the lies of Satan. We are all interconnected through spirit.Jesus is the glue. It's stronger when we believe. GOD bless you dearly. It will all be worth the struggle.
Strange you mention this. I am also 67 and have contemplated suicide since I was about 7 years old. Yet I also had an experience when I was about 7 years old when the thought crossed my mind, "When did my existence begin?" I pictured coming our of my mothers body and had the distinct feeling that that was not the beginning of my existence -- that I lived somewhere else before coming to this world. Through listening to thousands of Near Death Experiences over the years, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that we all lived with God before we came here, and that we well return home after experiencing this life, which is a school.
@@firecloud77 Hey brother, thanks for visiting and sharing. I feel for you too. Congratulations on getting 60 more years out of this life since your first suicide contemplation. It's true. We do come from GOD. But there are snares and traps set on earth by demonic forces to misguide and misdirect us on our journey back. Jesus Christ is the sure way to see we get home to his father's house (our CREATOR) when we are through here. God bless you on your journey.
Hi! PLEASE READ! These NDE's are deceiving many! Remember that the devil is a LIAR who appears as an Angel of Light. Give me 2 minutes and I will share with you The Gospel of Jesus Christ! 2 minutes! Sin is an archery term and it means to miss the perfect bullseye. Miss even a tiny bit and you have sinned. God gave us The Ten Commandments to show us what The Bullseye is and reveal to us our utter helplessness to reach it and to point us to His Son Jesus Christ. God says in His Word The Bible that there is NO ONE who does Good not even one! That we have ALL sinned and that the wages of sin is Death, Eternal separation from Him in Hell, and that without the shedding of Blood there is no remission of sins. FACT: You are a sinner and you have the death penalty and it is Just. God is Perfect Justice. But WAIT! God is also Perfect LOVE! Here is the GOOD NEWS Proclaimed throughout The whole Bible! John 3:16! Jesus laid down His Eternal Glory, took on Human Flesh, and willingly went to the Cross to suffer the excruciating torture, to shed His Blood as Payment in FULL for All your sins! No one can accuse God of not Loving us! Saving us from Hell cost God Everything and He Paid it ALL! Sin Must be Paid for and we can't do it! Jesus's last words on the Cross were "It Is Finished!" Your sin debt has been Paid in FULL and Eternal Life is God's FREE GIFT to be Freely received! You can do absolutely Nothing to earn or deserve or keep your salvation. It's All Jesus! Pure Grace! You 100% WILL stand before Jesus one day either as Savior or Judge. Either Innocent because All your sins are washed White as Snow by Jesus's Blood and going to Heaven Forever OR Guilty as Charged as your life is Judged by God's Law The Ten Commandments and going to Hell Forever. The choice is yours. God will not take you against your will. Everyone in Hell said NO to God's FREE GIFT. You can Pray to Jesus right now right where you are, admitting you are a sinner and believing that Jesus Paid for All your sins with His Blood and Rose again! Tell The Lord Jesus that you are placing all your faith in what He already did for you and accepting Him as your Savior! Jesus will save you instantly and never ever let you go! No sin you have committed or will commit can take you to Hell. God Sees you through The Blood of Jesus and you are White as Snow! THAT is a GOD Who LOVES us past what we can even fathom! Don't let anyone tell you anything different than what God says about your Eternal destiny and Heaven and Hell. 💖💖💖💖💖
@@peakpatternrecognizer I am at the moment. In fact I have just emerged from a bout of (not sure what, I get every spring)- nostalgic depression and feel euphoric and peaceful right now. Hope you and everyone else on here feel peace as well x
The irony that social media is supposed to create connection, yet teenagers suffer more mental health, depression, narcissism, cyber bullying and body dysmorphia.
@@leeboriack8054 yeah agreed. The Internet helps us connect with others from far abroad while separating us from those geographicly nearest. Satan is witty. But won't win.
My former fiance shot himself in the head soon after we broke up. He said to me that he would kill himself if I left him. He shot himself with a shotgun 2 months later. It was a life altering experience. He struggled with depression all his life. I think of him and pray that he's in a good place, that he's happy, and at peace. This was in 2007.
Yes, you are a wonderfull person I think and God saved you for a reason. My daughter was killed 1,5 years ago, so videos like your are some pain relief for me. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
You are so kind for saying this, Belina. I thank you. I also send you blessings for healing and peace. May the dear Lord Jesus bless you richly. You will be reunited with your loved ones to be certain.
Ray this popped up in my feed, and I know its three years old. I just want to say I'm glad your still here. My brother shot himself in the head in his bedroom in front of his wife 8-18-2000 and passed 8-19-2000 His baby daughter had just turned 1 year old a week before. The bullet he used they call a cop killer bullet. He was 20 years old. He put 1 bullet in the revolver shut it and spun it. He then pulled the trigger continuously and the 4th shot was the last shot. I can not express enough what this did to my family. We have never been the same. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray anyone thinking on this selfish act reconsider this. There is always a way out of what ever your going through but death is forever and there is no way out of that, and hell and broken people is the only end result. 🙏🌹
@@ItalianAngel21175 Hello, Italian Angel, I thank you much for visiting, your kind words, and for sharing your deeply painful personal loss with me and others here. We can all learn from each other's tough life lessons. I'm so sorry to see your brother didn't survive the struggle he was facing, and at such a young age. I died at 43 destined for hell due to a wretched lifestyle up to that point. Saved in more ways than one and now 53! Please don't be too sure where your dear brother is facing his afterlife. Only our King Jesus can know for sure. Just keep him in your prayers. I learned from my NDE there is redemption even in the Afterlife. May your family know the peace and healing of Christ in your lifetime. GOD bless you.
Sorry to hear that. He didnt pass immediately after shooting himself in the head with a hollow point? I hope he didnt suffer. And God forgives everyone, he isnt in hell
@@vincentkingsdale8334 Where he shot was down behind the left ear and severed his brain stem instantly it came out of the top corner of his head went through the bedroom wall then the brick wall and landed outside on the lawn! He fell back on his bed shaking violently. They had to strap him down on the turkey because of how violently shaking. That was about 6:00pm on the 18th and he passed at noon on the 19th. I'm sorry I know that's graphic, but that's the reality of someone putting a bullet in their head. I truly pray if anyone is even considering this. Please don't! There is always a way out of whatever your going through. My brother didn't have to do what he did. There was other options. 💔 Praise God your still here Ray. 🙏💖🙏
@@ItalianAngel21175 he didnt suffer. The brain stem controls breathing and lifes basic functions. He was most likely immediately unconscious, and the shaking was physically manifested sequelae from the wound. But to keep it on a human level, I am truly sorry for the situation. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out, especially when you made a few bad decisions and didnt realize it until it was too late. When all you want to do is go back in time and make things right, you cant, and that is the permanent problem that people have to deal with. Some decisions aren't as bad as than others, like buying a car you regret. Others are a culmination of poor choices over years, and then you realize what you have done, and it hits you like a ton of bricks. That guilt, for some, is too much to carry. Thanks for sharing your story.
I am glad you are still alive, you are beautiful and nice and friendly. You have light and love in your eyes. I am sorry for all the pain you went through. Glad you still live and you have learned so much. God loves you and bless you. I hug you with my heart and thank you for sharing your story with us. May you be blessed every day . Ciao from Italy 💖💖from Elisabetta
Greetings to you Ciao , Sei una bella persona. How very sweet you are. I am deeply touched with your heart felt words. So glad and encouraged by your comment and visit. Our Lord Jesus still has much work to do on me by improving my heart and soul but i know he is still with me and we are both working hard to get me where i need to be. With him in Heaven. I know you will be there. May God bless you and yours richly and often.
@@rayzerwrecker70 dear, I am sure Jesus has a lot to do with all of us! But he loves us so much and He is patient! Never give up please ! You are blessed. Hugs hugs hugs!! Life is beautiful and worthy. 🤗🤗👌❤💖💖💖💖💖🍀ciao! Elisabetta
Hello Susie, Thank you kindly for the loving words and kindness. I am so glad now that i shared this knowing how it helps others in their similar struggles. May God bless you richly.
The NDE is short for "near death experience". So that would not have started for you unless you pulled the trigger ,died ,and was revived somehow. But i hope you find peace and love instead.
@Commendatore Hello C, I took the experience as the spirit world intending not to communicate with me in that way. I was sooo removed from God at the time ,that I dont think I would have interacted with good spirits but evil instead. So I believe i was spared that way. The kind of experience i had during the brief time on the other side immediately after the shot , I later confirmed was part of many other NDE experiences by others. I just didnt travel any further then the black place that many start at. I have had more time on the other side through my intentional outer body experiences through meditation practices. There was no need to return to the other side during my next two flatlines. Or i did and the memory was wiped. Often we cross over during healthy dream time and chalk it up to being only a dream. God bless you.
I disagree. Though it does take bravery for some to continue living. Others have it very easy here. Facing the unknown and possibly a Hellish afterlife takes far more fortitude then just living a poor ,uncertain , or mundane life that will end anyway. Life is a preparation for the after life. Live in such a way that you shape a good after life with the life you lead. God bless you.
My daughter took her life at 24 . She shot herself in the temple. She was so good at hiding her pain. I would love to hear more from you about how one could do what we are so programmed not to? I think maybe god kept you here to help understand this? Maybe it is your mission to help surviving family and friends? Thank you for this video.
Hello Dorothy. It pains me to know of your suffering and so many like us in these broken times. I am glad my story may have helped in some small way. I do wish to serve humanity in support of this specific kind if and where i can. You can ask me here if you like or find me on FaceBook as Raynard Hannah and private message me there. I pray you find the healing you need in this life time.
My son shot himself in the neck 3 months ago. I was only 7 or 8 ft from him. He was drinking. The bullet came out the back of his head. He left behind a 15 year old brother and a 25 y old sister, who was his best friend. He would not have done this without the vodka. I know he wouldn't have wanted us to suffer so hard after. I know he's alive, with Jesus after he was pulled out of a black place full of screams. I prayed over his body and instructed him to call Jesus and no matter where he was, He'd hear his cries. Jesus came and plucked him from hell. My son gave his life to Jesus about 4 mo prior, asked him forgiveness, and decided to ask God to help him quit drinking. He was doing so much better, wanted to get baptized, but he slipped up and got drunk while I was at work. People, if he hadn't been saved before this happened he would be still in hell right now. I don't understand how God let him hear me say " call for Jesus" AFTER HE DIED but the vision my friend Angel had the next day showed this indeed what happened.
@@dorothywright4017 us who are suicidal don’t say anything because normies are quick to judge us and dismiss us and throw us in an institution to where we will get abused and become property of the state, lose our independence only to be bullied and shunned by society over and over again and that’s why we hide it. No safe outlet and people just don’t care. Nobody wants to employ or give us a chance to do anything for good money and livable wages and expect us to move quickly and competitively to where we burn out n get taken advantage of and bullied even more. and coworkers and manager bully us because we’re different or if we see something wrong with the system they retaliate and get rid of us even if we are employed. So we either face dismissed applications or we become uninterested in a job that’s desperate to hire anyone in because the wages aren’t high enough for survival n cost of everything is hella expensive but they want to pay a 40 year old desperate person looking for work 11-14 an hour. That’s disgusting. or we need to go back to school( can’t afford it) just to make good money. Rediculous.n we face drug addiction( to cope) or face homelessness as a result because we can’t make any money due to nobody giving us a chance because we’re eccentric or different and even when homeless, society just will crap on us even more and say get a job which brings me back to the aforementioned issue that I said.counseling doesn’t help because counselors just don’t understand, can’t empathize n havent had our experiences and are just there for a penny and rush office visits and send us in our way. This world sucks.
@@user-lo9po5mp5u there’s no such thing as hell in the afterlife. Matter of fact. earth is hell. GOD and Jesus are all forgiving and non judgmental on the spiritual realm and there’s nothing but unconditional love over there.it’s humans who create hell on earth and judge other people.hate to break it to ya.
I'm glad you're still here to tell this story! Life is much too precious to end it like that. Even though things may seem terrible at the moment one considers suicide, those things will ALWAYS turn around with time. I like to think of life as a rotisserie. There will be moments where you are directly over the fire and moments where you are able to get a break from the heat while those around you cook. However, it never stops rotating because everybody has to go over the fire eventually.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thank you, you too! I saw your second video and I sure hope you are doing much better since these videos were made. I'm sure it felt therapeutic to get all of that out in the open! I am a nurse and I always commend my patients when they open up about past traumas. It takes a lot of courage for one to do.
@@TheArmedNurse You serve a great purpose here and you seem well suited for it. God's angels are surely smiling on you. This surely has been beneficial for my piece of mind. Hopefully for other as well.
I am very close to Boscawen. I don't want to die but don't see any other choice. I had a great life until a bad car accident. I was successfully self employed so I got no help financially. It's been FOUR YEARS that I've been trying to get disability. My family has plenty of money and will not help. I'm living in horrible pain 24/7. Landlord took my car. I can't walk anywhere. Can't get food. There's nothing left. If I don't take my life, I will starve, be evicted because my landlord also raped me and is afraid of me putting him away. I can't freeze outside. I just need to KNOW that there is a life after this. I'm sad because it's not what I want but I can't find another way.
@@deborahcheek1715 Such a difficult struggle you find yourself in, dear. So very sorry to know you are being so tested in this life. Yes. There is most certainly an afterlife. But no one should go there blindly. Especially if you do end up taking your life out. I do hope you find healing. But if not, do not die without Christ. There is Heaven and Hell. There are beings both loving and evil clamouring for your soul. If I eventually succeed in suicide next Time atleast I die in the Lord. But suicide is a major sin. Highly discouraged in the spirit world. It could lead to reincarnation at best and hell at worst if one dies without Christ in their heart. I pray you make the right move for yourself, luv. GOD bless and heal you. Amen.
Are you still considering it? Sounds like it. I was brought up Jewish so there is no Christ in my life. I do believe in a benevolent G-d so I'm not afraid of hell. I just need to know that all of the NDEs are real. Seems like there are too many for them to be fake. I just really need to KNOW. But I will freeze to death otherwise. Thank you for responding to my message.
@@deborahcheek1715Hello again, dear. I respond to everyone if I can. Yes, I still suffer suicidal tendencies. It's a demon I'm trying to have delivered. I'm saved but this is still Satan's world we are stuck in for now. Jesus was a Jew while in human form. He is truly your Messiah. Jews denying it and missing the boat does not change that fact. He wants you to come to him. GOD has rules to enter Heaven. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a major one. Don't chance it. Jews and Muslims are converting to Christ daily here in the END TIME'S. They are receiving signs and wonders. This is the illusion. Afterlife is real life. May you find your way. GOD bless you.
God bless you for your sincere kindness ,my friend. It is needed. I am trapped in a dark space yet again and hoping God provides real soon before hopelessness sets in this winter. Pray for me. Much Love to you.
I was pronounced DOA ( NOT a NDE.) at a medical center in 1973... No further attempt was made to resuscitate me... More than half an hour passed, and then my Heart started to beat again... During that half hour, I discovered the DIFFERENCE, between the human body, and "LIFE The Real Self"... I found that this universe including the human body, to be just a 'STORY', presented in the form of a 'Holographic Simulation', in a Display Register, of "The Processing System of LIFE", where "LIFE The Real Self", ( An Offspring of The LIGHT ) is the OBSERVER.
Wow, that is such a profound and unimaginable discovery; thank you for sharing. It seems to be the underlying discovery in all of the NDEs I've read or listened to. What an unbelievable universe--and beyond x
Hi! PLEASE READ! These NDE's are deceiving many! Remember that the devil is a LIAR who appears as an Angel of Light. Give me 2 minutes and I will share with you The Gospel of Jesus Christ! 2 minutes! Sin is an archery term and it means to miss the perfect bullseye. Miss even a tiny bit and you have sinned. God gave us The Ten Commandments to show us what The Bullseye is and reveal to us our utter helplessness to reach it and to point us to His Son Jesus Christ. God says in His Word The Bible that there is NO ONE who does Good not even one! That we have ALL sinned and that the wages of sin is Death, Eternal separation from Him in Hell, and that without the shedding of Blood there is no remission of sins. FACT: You are a sinner and you have the death penalty and it is Just. God is Perfect Justice. But WAIT! God is also Perfect LOVE! Here is the GOOD NEWS Proclaimed throughout The whole Bible! John 3:16! Jesus laid down His Eternal Glory, took on Human Flesh, and willingly went to the Cross to suffer the excruciating torture, to shed His Blood as Payment in FULL for All your sins! No one can accuse God of not Loving us! Saving us from Hell cost God Everything and He Paid it ALL! Sin Must be Paid for and we can't do it! Jesus's last words on the Cross were "It Is Finished!" Your sin debt has been Paid in FULL and Eternal Life is God's FREE GIFT to be Freely received! You can do absolutely Nothing to earn or deserve or keep your salvation. It's All Jesus! Pure Grace! You 100% WILL stand before Jesus one day either as Savior or Judge. Either Innocent because All your sins are washed White as Snow by Jesus's Blood and going to Heaven Forever OR Guilty as Charged as your life is Judged by God's Law The Ten Commandments and going to Hell Forever. The choice is yours. God will not take you against your will. Everyone in Hell said NO to God's FREE GIFT. You can Pray to Jesus right now right where you are, admitting you are a sinner and believing that Jesus Paid for All your sins with His Blood and Rose again! Tell The Lord Jesus that you are placing all your faith in what He already did for you and accepting Him as your Savior! Jesus will save you instantly and never ever let you go! No sin you have committed or will commit can take you to Hell. God Sees you through The Blood of Jesus and you are White as Snow! THAT is a GOD Who LOVES us past what we can even fathom! Don't let anyone tell you anything different than what God says about your Eternal destiny and Heaven and Hell. 💖💖💖💖💖
Wow, and thanks so much for your kindness, Diane! I wish the people who directly surround me felt the same way for me. Feeling little more then coldness since i moved to Maine. But i love the land so. May God bless you deeply always. 😘
I thank you for sharing your story, , I haven’t finished the video but as soon as I started watching you talk I felt a connection and I could sense your strength and it gives me hope, I wish you nothing but light and love I hope you are finding peace in this life xoxoxo
Blimey, I thought I'd had it rough! Major kudos for getting through all that, and serious props for making the video, bro. You got Big J in your corner now so everything's cool. Sweet!
Glad to have you on my side somewhere out there ,Bro. You and those sweet souls like you are in my prayers. Be well here in Hell till we reach Heaven again.
21:52 If you mean the British singer who did 'Cars', that was Gary Numan. He came out of the punk era way back in the day. Mind you, I don't know a thing about the goth/death metal scene of the 2000s.
@@SunshineFromWithin Hello, that band would be Amber Asylum playing. Same CD I played at my attempted suicide. To bring back the memory and set the exact mood.
Hello Jonathan, Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your kind words of love. Yes, I love this about Jesus. As for the depressing music, yes it speaks to my depression. Dark depressive music sooths the depression rather then attempting to treat it like it does not exist as we do through happy silly music. I do enjoy uplifting music as well though. God bless you richly and may you be well in all your days.
I’m having the bleakest day and found your channel. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree with you that people calling it a coward’s way out never tried it. I think it must take a whole lot of courage to pull that trigger. It’s a lonely world and I’m so tired of pain…♥️
So true, Dear. I do hope you find strength in Christ. I only found him at age 47. The only place i found any strength and comfort. But he is not just an ancient tale. He is more real than we. He wants a personal relationship with you. Draw close to him and then he meets you half way garantueed. Your life will be changed. Mines not perfect and never will be. But im saved and i know i am under his protection by appointed angels. I pray you find your comfort some how if you choose not to seek him. Be well.
@ thank you 🙏 I have loved Jesus Christ for about as long as I can remember. My Mum taught me Sunday School at our little country church, Bellafield. I pray a lot. I have a real problem with depression and anger because of the pain and anxiety I have from injuries. I had skull fractures and every time the air pressure changes I get a migraine. Plus half a dozen other types of migraines and various other extremely painful conditions that just really suck. I just get so tired. I’ve isolated myself because of the pain and most of my family and support people have passed away. I’m so much younger than they were.. it’s so hard sometimes. I have the strongest feeling that I want to go home. I want to go home so badly but my home isn’t there anymore. The people aren’t there anymore. Is home now crossing over to be with them, with Christ? Is that what I’m pining for? Life feels so empty… Thanks so much for reaching out. I didn’t expect it. Your compassion and empathy is a comfort. I’m sure you’ve helped many who are struggling.I’m so glad you’ve found the light and love of Jesus Christ and taken him into your heart!(He always loved the imperfect most of all!) For all that you do, I pray that God will make His face to shine down upon you and bring you many, many blessings 🙏♥️🙏
@@Jackielocks Dear friend, Thanks for sharing. Im no celebrity. Why not write back in reply to the people who show me care? I even write the haters back. lol! But i am so sorry to read of your physical pains that seem so great. Let me first tell you that you are a much stronger person than i. I still struggle with deep suicidal deppression. I still seek deliverance prayer in hopes of being free of it. I look for the slightest excuse to off myself still. If i were to be inflicted with your pains, it would be a very valid excuse for me to end it and i believe Jesus would frown upon my giving up and yours, but if you are genuinely remorseful and repent of the deed we can still be forgiven. Suicide may interfer in our souls progression but i dont believe its a one way ticket to HELL. I pray now that you find healing and the strength to indoor rather than give in. May we survive till our appointed time to return to the Lord. God bless you, J.
@@rayzerwrecker70 I want you to know how much your answering my comment helped me yesterday. I was so touched by your kindness and really enjoyed your opinion on things. I’d Love to be able to sit down and yap with you- I think we’d have pretty similar views on a lot of things lol I wish I could be in that Support Group! They sound like great guys♥️ I swear like a Sailor thoughso I might get booted out..😬lol The pain isn’t the worst part really. I started getting hurt early in life and so I had a lot of practice before this. Plus I had older brothers who toughened me up😳7 and 9 years older.. I couldn’t be a suck(or a Brat!) if I wanted to hang out with them and their friends- plus if I got hurt, the last thing they wanted was for me to got running screaming and crying into the house, right. So I got picked up, stood up, and dusted off with an, “Awwww you’re okay now aren’t you? You don’t have to go into the house do you…?” I might even get a bit of a cuddle when I was a little gaffer and I was upset enough lol The worst part for me is not being able to do hardly Anything. No job. That kills me. I hate the monotony and feeling so useless. I can’t even Volunteer ffsakes.(oh! Just words people-don’t panic😉) I also agree with you about the whole going to Hell for Suicide(and many other Old Testament things)Jesus was All About Love and forgiveness. Hell and fire and brimstone, and damnation are all things the Old Testament God promised the Wicked before Jesus Christ was born and spread his message of Love and forgiveness. God changed after his son was born and even more again and after Jesus died. It gave God a much closer connection to people and a better understanding of what human beings actually go through here on earth. God became a kinder, gentler, more loving and forgiving God/Father to his people. That’s my interpretation and I’ve put in a ton of religious time! Sorry,now I’ve written an Essay.. lol and I hardly ever talk!😳 I’ll stop ✋ Thanks again my dear new Friend(?) You can know for sure that you came back and made a huge difference for me Yesterday. Thank You♥️🙏♥️ So if you ever want to come visit BC Canada 🇨🇦 just let me know when you’re ready lol Guesthouse should be finished by early this summer and middle of nowhere North Central BC is Beautiful! I owe you-Big Time😊♥️😊🙏😊♥️😊🙏😊♥️🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I have stuttered since I was 4 years old, and now I’m 24. I’ve lost everything in my life-no friends, no talking at all. I mean, nothing, for real. I’ve tried twice to end my life, but when I saw those NDEs where people describe hellish situations, I thought, God, at least let me die. Why do you want me to keep suffering every second? Forget this world; after 20 years of pain, I’d rather experience hell than live in this body with a stutter, where I can’t even say my name.
@@user-ve5oe8wf4d Thanks for visiting my page, my friend. I'm sorry for your struggles. I continue to struggle as well. Know this. Your soul chose this life challenge of yours. Our souls plan difficult challenging roles in life some more rigorous than others. As a Christian we are given further support from the spirit world to carry on and a promise of advancing spiritually when we return. That's why we must pick up our cross and follow Jesus. I pray you find the strength. Suicide sometimes leads to a do-over.
You're still here brother. That only means that you have work to do before you get to go home. Then again that applies to all of us. I can somewhat relate to your suicide experience although I failed. Anyhow my learned lesson is that suicide is and should never be an option. Glad that you're still with us brother. God bless.
Unfortunately we have to live through life we can't take our life , I suffer with some bad depression myself brother , thx for your testimony it takes courage , God bless you.
Your story is so wonderful, you will help so many with your experience. You are a great guy I love your personality and appreciate you taking the time to relive the darkness so that we can witness your light!
Thanks my friend. I may be filming something special tmrw morning and posting soon after. I have slowed down a bit with the Maine weather slowing me down. Thank you much for you support and God bless you ,my friend.
You’ll destroy your kid! And go to hell! Please just be tough, hang it out, cry out to God. I know life is at times unbearable. But ride it out… Bible/church/ prayer… please
Thank you, my friend. For caring. I struggle with the urge more and more lately. It's this war and all the evil in power in our government and across the world. I feel it must be the end times. So much is pointing to it. I do not want to be here for that kind of destruction. I am now the proud owner of a nitrogen tank. Looks like that may be the way I leave this troubled world. But little old ladies went out the same way. Alone. So why should I have it any better. At least its painless. I am sorry for your suffering as well ,P,Ranger. Raynard Hannah on FaceBook.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the reply my man. I heard that you grew up Catholic and then found Christ after your whole scenario. I am a practicing Muslim myself, and we too believe in Jesus, I bring this all up because we also believe in the end of times. Without a doubt we live in crazy times, but the beautiful thing about America is we can do our own thing, go about our own lives, even with all the chaos going on. We have to think and stay positive. Thanks for the honesty about the nitrogen tank man, but but let’s not use that, unless we’re doing some sort of science experiment haha. Rather tell me your interests and hobbies. I know you’re an artist and enjoy music. Sadly I’m not on Facebook but I’m looking forward to your message on here. Sorry for the long winded reply, hope to hear from you soon!
This is like a tutorial on good suicide guns. “Yeaaaah, I kind’a like a good 32 ought bolt rack jib. I feel like that would take the head right off. No fuss, no muss.”
I was hugely into DSBM music. As soon as I started watching I felt like you and I had some similarities. I'm only 13 minutes in to your video and I love it. God bless you brother.
When I’ve died in deep sleep....there is an absolutely brilliant flash of light and then an cornerless white landscape with a severe ringing in my ears (like when you shoot with no earplugs)....it freaks me out and then I awake....this has happened many times!
Wild story. Great music in the background by the way. Those dark figures from your early years could been from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia. You’re a creative and probably more connected to your unconscious mind and shadow self. The unconscious holds psychic/spirit phenomena not easy to deal with if it bleeds through. All light comes from dark. Glad you’re alive with the rest of us weirdos. Bless
Oh you are so funny and right on the mark. So blessed to discover colorful people in God's favor 🙏 here online through this msg. . Anyone who would like to be friends can find me as Raynard Hannah on f.b..God bless the wierdo's!
My nephew shot himself in the head and died. I miss him so much. I didn't get to know him till he was 20. We became very close. He killed himself at 24, on father's day.
So sorry to hear it. Suicides are on the rise in todays dark social climate. We as those left behind must come to terms with it and try to make this a better place worth living in. God bless you.
Help kids, Charity and you'll give Christ no option but to prove to you he's in charge. You'll feel it as the kids smile. You easily have an eye to see God.
@@spiralrose I do know his compassionate love in little hints when I most need it, my brother in Christ. Just enough for me to keep holding on. we will know his love for all time hereafter . 💖
Ive lost my Best friend like a brother to me, and 2 of my cousins who again were like my brothers to suicide by gun.... Smh.... And I was there for obe of them when it took place.. The aftermath and pain left for those behind is worse than the death itself... Selfish..
No one should have to die with Gary Nueman as their exit music. Thats why I was saved. Lol. Kidding. Thanks for your kind support. May God bless 🙏 you.
@@rayzerwrecker70 you are hilarious my friend 😂 I was kinda wondering why you picked that 😅 May the Force be with you AND may you always KNOW IT 😀. I’m going thru a huge deal right now myself. I have a channel on YT I just started. I have been experiencing a lot of unexplained phenomena, stuff no one really believes is possible but this shit is really happening to me. I’m chronicling on my channel. I would love the opportunity to talk to you about it if you’re interested
@@Iamalwayshappyandsafe thnx bro, sorry ur going through some shit. Definitely get that shit on camera if yah can. Find me ax Raynard Hannah on F.B. to protect msg me there.
With all due respect I hope in your story you'll get straight to the point and tell the story without cutting off and on and going all in circles. I keep believing post because people constantly do this and I don't have the patience I lose track of the story when they do this. Your story sounds wonderful and I'm really interested so I'm ready to listen thank you so much for sharing
Sorry , you can skip around i dont mind. My resulting brain damage naturally effected my mental means to form recollections and coherent dialogue to express them at times. Its a struggle 😪. But still so very blessed for it. As you are somehow
@@MikeInocencio-sl7ih I hear you, brother. Just know if you obtain a gun, you are more than likely going to use it. If you are fighting the urge at all, try to avoid that process. May YESHUA heal you in your struggles.
Hah, thanks for saying ,Howard. I feel those who have truly known suffering tend to be the funniest people. Maybe we appreciate light hearted comedy more because we have seen the extreme opposite of it. Odd how you picked up on that in this video because I thought i was being serious and leaving out and comic relief this time. God bless you ,Sir.
Im wondering Ray, what initially made you think that taking your life would be best answer for your situation? Thank you for sharing. We had a loss by suicide in family this year. I keep looking at their picture and feeling they were feeling so wronged and pained that they felt no choice. Seems like its just a choice to stop feeling. Its like not being able to see a good answer with life. I hope you always see reasons that you are living and it can make you feel ironically happy your going through life. Hope that makes sense. That romanticism of taking your life is just a worldly lie. Take yourself out to see nature...its brutal but we have the amazing instinct to survive....make others smile,they need it. ❤
@@vicharmon1901 Hello friend, so very sorry to read of your Terrible loss. Suicide is a demon that is assigned to certain people that are less equipped to fight it's temptations and lies. Emotions are spiritual and follow us to the other side. The same emotions and feelings are deeper and more exaggerated in the afterlife. So it's not good to die sad and unsaved. I still have zero will to live and it's a daily fight. I am going to deliverance prayer sessions to continue my fight against them. Since finding Jesus, the demons ramped up their efforts because now I am even a greater prize 🏆 for them to gain. The only difference now is if I give in, I'm saved in the blood of Jesus. Be well.
I'm at pains to understand why I've never been part of this existence. I have all the attributes needed but I can't connect. I really hope there's no incarnation back on earth at the end.✌️☘️
My other worldly Christian Horror Metal band have just released our new EP for all to purchase on the link below. This music acts as a short concept album that speaks of the horrors i suffered around the making of earlier godless metal albums with earlier bands i fronted. Including the song "CREST FALLEN" lyrically based on my actual suicide experience. My metal band is GraveSideService based out of Rhode Island. Please support and thank you dearly. anpentaprod.bandcamp.com/album/beings-born-of-night-black-horror
How nice of you to say such a thing ,Ravin. Many thanks and may Gods rich blessing's be upon you. We all shine brightest in the light of GOD son Jesus.
Thank you, Kali! Thank you so much. It is so therapeutic for me to tell what i know of it to others who want to know. I too love watching vids of other people NDE's. It seems most are better stories than my own. Mine is more a warning against dabbling in evil. God bless you and stay well.
Thank Doug, I tried making such a video yesterday. Instead the video went missing unexplainably. I will try to share it all as i go. God bless you kindly.
for all of those having these same issues here is a great prayer : IN THE NAME OF GOD , I ORDER satin and his kingdome OUT OF MY HEAD , I ALSO ORDER satin OUT OF MY BODY AND OUT OF MY HOME, BE GONE NOW AND FOREVER , NEVER TO RETURN , I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST . OH HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE COVER ME IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND PROTECT ME AND PLEASE FILL MY HOUSE WITH YOUR JOYFUL HEAVENLY ANGELS .GLORY BE TO GOD AND THANK YOU . God gave you the authority over satin and his kingdom so use it and ORDER HIM OUT. You can also do this for addiction or pain and illness.
You go through so many details that don't need to be said that I was getting extremely bored.. but I wanted to hear your nde so I stayed with it. I am fascinated by the other side I know it's real and I know it's there. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God and Jesus and our guardian angels and everything else there I know it for a fact. I don't know how I do but I have no doubts. You are a pretty good storyteller except the details of north south east or west the color of your pug and just details you take a long time to tell anything you might want to work on that mister hahaha we are what we are right and we can't change it!
Yes, well thank you for taking the time and i hope it filled the moment with a worthy take away of some sort. I can only say i must be blessed to communicate as well as i do considering a 32 caliber bullet did a Ricochet in my brain and remains lodged in their for life. Sp thank you though, that was pretty funny to read. lol. God bless and be well in all you do ,Leesa.
I agree. It is not cowardly to kill yourself. It takes one to the brink of anguish to act against that natural instinct of self preservation. Good you made it....It is scary how many suicides are happening.
Thnx for sharing your thoughts, Kitty. We are in dark times. I tend to think the end times by the look of it all. Just time to up the prayers and faith. God bless you.
What must I do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. That means to put all of your confidence (trust) in the person and finished work of Christ alone for salvation. Jesus paid for all the sins of all the world at the cross (past, present, and future). That payment is put to your account when you have believed on Christ alone for salvation.
Thanks for sharing your story.I hope you are doing well , now.I've also suffered from depression and anxiety for large parts of my life.Sometimes you wonder whats the point of it all and if God is righteous why is there so much suffering in this world...I truly believe there is also a benevolent force like spirit guides etc.If I may ask , do you believe in reincarnation?I still need to watch your video on the Jeff Mara podcast.I also have to say that Gary Numan's album splinter is a great album.Very unique.
I did that once, i didn't have a gun so i got a gallon of antifreeze and some Old English 40's. I got drunk and drank half of that antifreeze. First I did that by our family cemetery, than i got drunk and drank that antifreeze, i pass out and woke up at the hospital. The nurse said they pump my stomach. I don't know how my little sister found me at the grave yard and she call the ambulance. I was like a mile or so away from my mother's house on the reservation, and it was in the middle of nowhere. I woke up a few days later. I was in the blackness,It does take guts coward won't do that.
@@wildone505 Very true, my friend. We like to think we have control of our own death through suicide, but if it's not our spiritually appointed time to go, we ain't going nowhere. 😆 As proven in your case and mine. Very unlikely to be saved yet here we are, brother. Best to do our utmost to make it to the Finnish line of life for numerous good reasons. GOD bless you in your journey here onward.
Thank you, my loving friend in life and spirit. I am not sure how well I am doing here in this life. My struggle is still with me. But it's tough all around here in what may be the END TIMES. I can only be sure I am saved and have a place prepared and reserved for me in God's house here after. See yah there, my friend! Much Love to you. Write anytime.
@@rayzerwrecker70 if you don't mind me saying, when my mind starts to think too much about sad things, I remember the scripture that says to think on things that are good and holy and uplifting. It really helps me, trying to think about the deputy around me and that I am loved by the creator of the universe. Not because I deserve it but because that is who He is. Yesterday I read psalm 50:23, he who sacrifices thankfulness honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God. - so I am just trying to make that sacrifice thanking Him for all things I have and see. Today is the day the Lord has made let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ray, it does get easier when you practice it. I hate dark depression. I fight the good fight of sacrifice of worship and thankfulness. Be blessed my friend. The days are dark but we don't have to be. I'm in nh if you ever want to pray!
So glad Jesus found you. If certain thoughts still affect you there may be some soul ties, alters, agreements or demons that still exist and operate spiritually in your life/mind. It's your right to be free totally and completely. It will never hurt you to ask God specifically for freedom from these too.
@@rayzerwrecker70 freedom is yours to walk in through the blood of Jesus and the victory he got for us. You actually need to pray to break those strongholds. There are people you can contact to pray with you that have specific ministries and annointing to send these things out of your life because it's not everyone that has the right armour to do so. The devil and his helpers seem big and scary but they are absolutely afraid if Jesus and you as his coheir walking in the truth of salvation. THIS IS FACT. Satan works on deception to keep control and that's all he has until we make it our reality. He has perfected the art of deception so much that he makes us believe in the lie that there is no escape from him and his demonic servants until heaven. There is a RUclips channel called The Supernatural Life - Daniel Adams, this man and his team go around using the power of God and the holy spirit to rid people of these spiritual tormentors, the demons even confess when commanded to speak. Check out some deliverance videos. It's so real and people are being freed in Jesus name. Daniel and his team also do one to one's so you can contact them. As much as I'm saved I still am identifying and cutting some things that attached them selves to my life (either by agreement or otherwise). They are clearly at work so the walk/ work really begins after you are saved and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and saviour it does not end with it as some may have us believe. Godly things are done in the spirit but we need to make sure what happens on earth agrees with it and that is through us. Both God and the enemy actually need us to achieve anything here on earth. Those are the rules which is why Jesus had to made flesh to accomplish what he did in this realm. You know this already, I just want you to know freedom can be yours and just because you may have dabbled in some things it's not now your life sentence to be afflicted or punished for it. We are ALL sinners. Sorry to go on and on but you must know that absolute freedom is your right. It's a practical walk. I hope to read of your new found levels of freedom here soon to the testimony of God's power. God bless you.
@@sylviasworld9397 so true. All of what you say. I am still tormented. I will seek them out. Thank you so much ,my friend. Much love and blessings to you and yours.
When I was 13, I was lying on my bed and I suddenly had a out of body experience. When it was through I said Wow! Suddenly God pulled the veil and I was allowed to see the demon behind it. Read the book, The Beautiful Side of Evil. I highly recommend it!
@@rayzerwrecker70 No, demons can deceive even with beauty. I was allowed to see the demon who had been behind my vision. I am a born again Christian now. The book I recommend is true written by a woman who was heavily involved in the occult. She is now a Christian.
Thanks for watching. I hope you could gleam some thing positive from it. I have not found happiness yet but I trust its guaranteed in the after life through my guidance by Jesus's promise. So I find peace in that for now. God bless.
More to be learned about the specific suicide epidemic i am a demographic part of. Much more to learn about my death of despair and others like me. ruclips.net/video/Rw1dNtDEA00/видео.html
@@amerikeet Did I mention that? Yes. His release called Splinters at the time and Amber Asylum. Newman I listened to on the way to the cemetery 🪦 and I listened to Amber there.
@@1310Robbo Hey friend, thanks so much for caring. Jesus is somehow sustaining me so far. Very anxiety ladened times we find ourselves in aren't they. Very uncertain. All we got now is the one true GOD in Christ and our promised fate with him to focus on. GOD bless you 🙏.
Part two is here for those still interested. ruclips.net/video/RzstPwK2AIs/видео.html
Carlos Castanada wrote a lot of books. Are you talking about the teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, or a Separate reality? I only seperated from my body once, but that was a different circumstance and I wasn't able to reproduce that experience. Thank you for sharing.
@@TEA-fj3ut yes indeed, the Don Juan books. Interstingly enough, I would turn out to excel more quickly then C.Costanada in the lessons and achieve purposeful out of body before even completing the reading of the book. NOW I no longer have the ability as readily as I did then if at all. I cant seem to do it anymore. Tried during my 8 months in prison to no avail. I thought it would make a fine escape from imprisonment but no such luck anymore. I am too stressed depressed and broken now. But i can wait till dead to do that and far more.
@@TEA-fj3ut k😋📽
SOOOO GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE WITH US!!!
"YOU. " ARE WORTHY MY BROTHER!!!!!
AND "YOU ARE SPECIAL AND LOVED!!!!!!""
GOD BLESS TO YOU!!!!!!!
ruclips.net/video/ctnzcLK_7Ko/видео.html
This guy lays his soul bare and gets thumbs down. Whats wrong with people? Love you brother, thanks for sharing.
Thank you dearly ,Orbit80y. Haters gonna hate ,right? lol. I pray they find their way back to God as well. Be well ,Brother.
People are cruel and judgmental as hell. It’s sad and sickening. I thank him a lot for sharing his life and story with us. Raising awareness.
Sometimes these thumb downs were just accidents.. It happened to me before that I had pressed thumb down with no intention of doing so.. It just accidents im sure of that.
Godless. I was myself until 1988.
@@doggiestylepetresort It's not cruel to provide feedback. It doesn't come from hatred. Rayzer rambles a bit, and some people just want to get to the point.
When ever I get depressed I seek counsel from the animals...they don't have any generational gaps, social justice hangups or rules of fashion, social behavior...We humans love to overcomplicate ourselves into oblivion.
You said it. So true. Especially worse with every new further indoctrinated generation. So many pitfalls in life today. Animals and nature are God's gift to us that way among others.
Stay strong I agree with you I went through a divorce a year ago and I got a bit depressed over it I have a cat named Peaches that help me through it
I agree with you. People who don't know how strong bonds are between human and animals have never owned a pet. They are God's gift to us, they love unconditionally, they are always there to comfort you in times of distress, and they will be with you long after they have passed. We will see them again, those that say animals don't have souls never owned a dog, cat, bird, or otherwise. God bless you!
yep
Greater is He who is in me the he (satan) who is in the world. ✝️💟☮️
Black man here. I understand. It’s crazy how spirits can control your body. Stay alive. We want you here.
@@datboitmic May our Lord bless you, my man. GOD knows I'm trying.
My daddy killed himself in 2019, he shot himself in the temple. He died 24 hrs later. He was in Mexico at a ranch, alone. By the time I got to where he was (at a hospital) he was gone. I wanted to say goodbye. My big brother was there with him, i heard him cry like never in my life and it hurt my soul not being able to hug him. So hard to know he was there and alone. My dad thought about suicide from a younger age ( found out after he passed away) what hurt me was the way he died, the pain he must have felt, the loneliness, what he must have felt in his heart ...all that but not death because i understand that its part of life. He was away most of my life but i adored my dad and he knew it and i told him many times how much i loved him, kissed him so much the last time i saw him alive. I miss him, miss knowing that i cant physically see him again. He had this planned, he literally dug his own grave next to his sister, he had his funeral paid for, oh this hurt beyond words, just to imagine what kind of pain he must have felt, i know he cried alone and that is what hurts. After his death i cried and yelled at God why? Why my Daddy? I heard this “ dont look for God in the outside He is within” that has changed my life. Shortly after My Dad came to me in a dream and he literally walked me out of the house i was living in at that time, while i walked behind him there were crocodiles and snakes coming from under the walls and trying to get me and he kicked them all and walked me outside to safety, a few months later i had alot of problems in that house and had to sell it but not before going through hell literally, legal and money issues but at the end i sold the house and made a huge profit, i know my Daddy helped me and now i know that he is okay. He is not in hell like the christians told me, i actually saw him again and he said he was not in the cemetery that he was in my heart. I am now at peace with his death because i know he is ok. I have alot of dreams before things happen, even my daughters death i dreamt too. God is real, he is within us all🙏🏼❤️
You are correct ,Gala. I hope that sharing your story here helped in some small way. Giving it away to the world helps take it off your back a bit. I hope you continue to heal. Christians and Catholics are wrong about suicide. Only healing and comfort waits for them on the other side. But their spirit may feel compelled to live this life again because in many cases they didn't fulfill their lifes mission by cutting it short. But its all in the bigger plan. Gods plan. God bless you and yours. Be well out there.
@@rayzerwrecker70 it does thank you, I try not to think about it.. hurts to..
My dear friend your father is ok he is alive find yourself a spiritualist church from Steve clairvoyant medium
Sorry I'm back again you say you never had no time to say goodbye that's why it isn't no goodbye just say to him that you love him he can hear you you cannot see that world
@@rayzerwrecker70 rayzer - Catholics are CHRISTIAN!!!! And there is only ONE LIFE, Thank-God!!!! You don't come back as a "Lady Bug" or a Famous Pianist, you go to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. MOST go to Purgatory!!!!
thank you for sharing this i often feel i am the only person in the whole world who feels like this . since i was 7 yrs and now 67. suffered all my life with deep dark depression and never felt i belonged. you have brightened my life by sharing. depression is very painful in so many ways. god bless you. x
@@barbarachristina2026 And thank you for visiting and leaving your kind words. Let us never believe the lies of Satan. We are all interconnected through spirit.Jesus is the glue. It's stronger when we believe. GOD bless you dearly. It will all be worth the struggle.
Strange you mention this. I am also 67 and have contemplated suicide since I was about 7 years old. Yet I also had an experience when I was about 7 years old when the thought crossed my mind, "When did my existence begin?" I pictured coming our of my mothers body and had the distinct feeling that that was not the beginning of my existence -- that I lived somewhere else before coming to this world. Through listening to thousands of Near Death Experiences over the years, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that we all lived with God before we came here, and that we well return home after experiencing this life, which is a school.
@@firecloud77 Hey brother, thanks for visiting and sharing. I feel for you too. Congratulations on getting 60 more years out of this life since your first suicide contemplation. It's true. We do come from GOD. But there are snares and traps set on earth by demonic forces to misguide and misdirect us on our journey back. Jesus Christ is the sure way to see we get home to his father's house (our CREATOR) when we are through here. God bless you on your journey.
Hi! PLEASE READ! These NDE's are deceiving many! Remember that the devil is a LIAR who appears as an Angel of Light. Give me 2 minutes and I will share with you The Gospel of Jesus Christ! 2 minutes!
Sin is an archery term and it means to miss the perfect bullseye. Miss even a tiny bit and you have sinned. God gave us The Ten Commandments to show us what The Bullseye is and reveal to us our utter helplessness to reach it and to point us to His Son Jesus Christ.
God says in His Word The Bible that there is NO ONE who does Good not even one! That we have ALL sinned and that the wages of sin is Death, Eternal separation from Him in Hell, and that without the shedding of Blood there is no remission of sins.
FACT: You are a sinner and you have the death penalty and it is Just. God is Perfect Justice.
But WAIT! God is also Perfect LOVE! Here is the GOOD NEWS Proclaimed throughout The whole Bible! John 3:16! Jesus laid down His Eternal Glory, took on Human Flesh, and willingly went to the Cross to suffer the excruciating torture, to shed His Blood as Payment in FULL for All your sins! No one can accuse God of not Loving us! Saving us from Hell cost God Everything and He Paid it ALL! Sin Must be Paid for and we can't do it! Jesus's last words on the Cross were "It Is Finished!" Your sin debt has been Paid in FULL and Eternal Life is God's FREE GIFT to be Freely received!
You can do absolutely Nothing to earn or deserve or keep your salvation. It's All Jesus! Pure Grace!
You 100% WILL stand before Jesus one day either as Savior or Judge. Either Innocent because All your sins are washed White as Snow by Jesus's Blood and going to Heaven Forever OR Guilty as Charged as your life is Judged by God's Law The Ten Commandments and going to Hell Forever. The choice is yours. God will not take you against your will. Everyone in Hell said NO to God's FREE GIFT.
You can Pray to Jesus right now right where you are, admitting you are a sinner and believing that Jesus Paid for All your sins with His Blood and Rose again! Tell The Lord Jesus that you are placing all your faith in what He already did for you and accepting Him as your Savior! Jesus will save you instantly and never ever let you go!
No sin you have committed or will commit can take you to Hell. God Sees you through The Blood of Jesus and you are White as Snow!
THAT is a GOD Who LOVES us past what we can even fathom!
Don't let anyone tell you anything different than what God says about your Eternal destiny and Heaven and Hell. 💖💖💖💖💖
I sympathise with you. I have suffered from depression for as long as I csn remember. God bless xx
I hope you are doing okay, sister.
@@peakpatternrecognizer I am at the moment. In fact I have just emerged from a bout of (not sure what, I get every spring)- nostalgic depression and feel euphoric and peaceful right now. Hope you and everyone else on here feel peace as well x
@@Headspace101 That makes me happy. Hope you are well.
The irony that social media is supposed to create connection, yet teenagers suffer more mental health, depression, narcissism, cyber bullying and body dysmorphia.
@@leeboriack8054 yeah agreed. The Internet helps us connect with others from far abroad while separating us from those geographicly nearest. Satan is witty. But won't win.
I don’t know you but I wanted to tell you I love you. And that your life has tremendous value.
Thanks for that. We all have tremendous value if we use it for God's message. Sending much LOVE.
My former fiance shot himself in the head soon after we broke up. He said to me that he would kill himself if I left him. He shot himself with a shotgun 2 months later. It was a life altering experience. He struggled with depression all his life. I think of him and pray that he's in a good place, that he's happy, and at peace. This was in 2007.
I bet you got a real ego boost out of that? May God have mercy on your soul 👎🏻
I feel your pain brother i struggle with depression too.
Yes, you are a wonderfull person I think and God saved you for a reason. My daughter was killed 1,5 years ago, so videos like your are some pain relief for me. Thank you so much. 🙏🏻
You are so kind for saying this, Belina. I thank you. I also send you blessings for healing and peace. May the dear Lord Jesus bless you richly. You will be reunited with your loved ones to be certain.
Hope you feel how deeply grateful I am for this. Thank you dear, yes, our Lord showed me in a unmistakable way, that she is with Him. God bless you.
No offense but after all of that I still haven't really heard the NDE.
I'm certainly glad you're alright though and obviously healing as a person
Thank you ,Ms.. The NDE starts at the next video PART TWO.
@@rayzerwrecker70 oh ok I'm sorry my bad. I didn't notice that AT the time I wrote the comment
I was thinking the same
What does nde mean?
@Mark White ok ...got it.
Ray this popped up in my feed, and I know its three years old. I just want to say I'm glad your still here. My brother shot himself in the head in his bedroom in front of his wife 8-18-2000 and passed 8-19-2000 His baby daughter had just turned 1 year old a week before. The bullet he used they call a cop killer bullet. He was 20 years old. He put 1 bullet in the revolver shut it and spun it. He then pulled the trigger continuously and the 4th shot was the last shot. I can not express enough what this did to my family. We have never been the same. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray anyone thinking on this selfish act reconsider this. There is always a way out of what ever your going through but death is forever and there is no way out of that, and hell and broken people is the only end result. 🙏🌹
@@ItalianAngel21175 Hello, Italian Angel, I thank you much for visiting, your kind words, and for sharing your deeply painful personal loss with me and others here. We can all learn from each other's tough life lessons. I'm so sorry to see your brother didn't survive the struggle he was facing, and at such a young age. I died at 43 destined for hell due to a wretched lifestyle up to that point. Saved in more ways than one and now 53! Please don't be too sure where your dear brother is facing his afterlife. Only our King Jesus can know for sure. Just keep him in your prayers. I learned from my NDE there is redemption even in the Afterlife. May your family know the peace and healing of Christ in your lifetime. GOD bless you.
@@rayzerwrecker70 🙏🤗💖🌹Thank You Ray 🌹
Sorry to hear that. He didnt pass immediately after shooting himself in the head with a hollow point? I hope he didnt suffer. And God forgives everyone, he isnt in hell
@@vincentkingsdale8334 Where he shot was down behind the left ear and severed his brain stem instantly it came out of the top corner of his head went through the bedroom wall then the brick wall and landed outside on the lawn! He fell back on his bed shaking violently. They had to strap him down on the turkey because of how violently shaking. That was about 6:00pm on the 18th and he passed at noon on the 19th. I'm sorry I know that's graphic, but that's the reality of someone putting a bullet in their head. I truly pray if anyone is even considering this. Please don't! There is always a way out of whatever your going through. My brother didn't have to do what he did. There was other options. 💔 Praise God your still here Ray. 🙏💖🙏
@@ItalianAngel21175 he didnt suffer. The brain stem controls breathing and lifes basic functions. He was most likely immediately unconscious, and the shaking was physically manifested sequelae from the wound. But to keep it on a human level, I am truly sorry for the situation. Sometimes it seems like there is no way out, especially when you made a few bad decisions and didnt realize it until it was too late. When all you want to do is go back in time and make things right, you cant, and that is the permanent problem that people have to deal with. Some decisions aren't as bad as than others, like buying a car you regret. Others are a culmination of poor choices over years, and then you realize what you have done, and it hits you like a ton of bricks. That guilt, for some, is too much to carry.
Thanks for sharing your story.
I am glad you are still alive, you are beautiful and nice and friendly. You have light and love in your eyes. I am sorry for all the pain you went through. Glad you still live and you have learned so much. God loves you and bless you. I hug you with my heart and thank you for sharing your story with us. May you be blessed every day . Ciao from Italy 💖💖from Elisabetta
Greetings to you Ciao , Sei una bella persona. How very sweet you are. I am deeply touched with your heart felt words. So glad and encouraged by your comment and visit. Our Lord Jesus still has much work to do on me by improving my heart and soul but i know he is still with me and we are both working hard to get me where i need to be. With him in Heaven. I know you will be there. May God bless you and yours richly and often.
@@rayzerwrecker70 dear, I am sure Jesus has a lot to do with all of us! But he loves us so much and He is patient! Never give up please ! You are blessed. Hugs hugs hugs!! Life is beautiful and worthy. 🤗🤗👌❤💖💖💖💖💖🍀ciao! Elisabetta
So much gratitude for you sharing your story. What an evolved soul and strong spirit you are. What a privilege to encounter your video. 🙏💜
Hello Susie, Thank you kindly for the loving words and kindness. I am so glad now that i shared this knowing how it helps others in their similar struggles. May God bless you richly.
I was struggling not to put my pistol to my head waiting for the NDE part to start, which I don't believe it ever did. Glad your ok though bro.
The NDE is short for "near death experience". So that would not have started for you unless you pulled the trigger ,died ,and was revived somehow. But i hope you find peace and love instead.
@Commendatore Hello C, I took the experience as the spirit world intending not to communicate with me in that way. I was sooo removed from God at the time ,that I dont think I would have interacted with good spirits but evil instead. So I believe i was spared that way. The kind of experience i had during the brief time on the other side immediately after the shot , I later confirmed was part of many other NDE experiences by others. I just didnt travel any further then the black place that many start at. I have had more time on the other side through my intentional outer body experiences through meditation practices. There was no need to return to the other side during my next two flatlines. Or i did and the memory was wiped. Often we cross over during healthy dream time and chalk it up to being only a dream. God bless you.
lol
Yeah I hsd to go too. Yaw have a great day. What a wonderful world. Lol
You are cruel. Suicide destroys people and their families. Have some love.
It takes real guts to keep living in this world.
I disagree. Though it does take bravery for some to continue living. Others have it very easy here. Facing the unknown and possibly a Hellish afterlife takes far more fortitude then just living a poor ,uncertain , or mundane life that will end anyway. Life is a preparation for the after life. Live in such a way that you shape a good after life with the life you lead. God bless you.
So honest time he took in his car to tell his story in detail should b commended for that God bless him 💖
I am grateful to God that You survived. You are a beautiful Man and a beautiful Soul..I understand major depression. Much Love, Brother.
@@hollynoelleAbductedUfologist Thank you, my dear. May we find comfort in Heaven.
My daughter took her life at 24 . She shot herself in the temple. She was so good at hiding her pain. I would love to hear more from you about how one could do what we are so programmed not to? I think maybe god kept you here to help understand this? Maybe it is your mission to help surviving family and friends? Thank you for this video.
Hello Dorothy. It pains me to know of your suffering and so many like us in these broken times. I am glad my story may have helped in some small way. I do wish to serve humanity in support of this specific kind if and where i can. You can ask me here if you like or find me on FaceBook as Raynard Hannah and private message me there. I pray you find the healing you need in this life time.
My son shot himself in the neck 3 months ago. I was only 7 or 8 ft from him. He was drinking. The bullet came out the back of his head. He left behind a 15 year old brother and a 25 y old sister, who was his best friend. He would not have done this without the vodka. I know he wouldn't have wanted us to suffer so hard after. I know he's alive, with Jesus after he was pulled out of a black place full of screams. I prayed over his body and instructed him to call Jesus and no matter where he was, He'd hear his cries. Jesus came and plucked him from hell. My son gave his life to Jesus about 4 mo prior, asked him forgiveness, and decided to ask God to help him quit drinking. He was doing so much better, wanted to get baptized, but he slipped up and got drunk while I was at work. People, if he hadn't been saved before this happened he would be still in hell right now. I don't understand how God let him hear me say " call for Jesus" AFTER HE DIED but the vision my friend Angel had the next day showed this indeed what happened.
@@dorothywright4017 us who are suicidal don’t say anything because normies are quick to judge us and dismiss us and throw us in an institution to where we will get abused and become property of the state, lose our independence only to be bullied and shunned by society over and over again and that’s why we hide it. No safe outlet and people just don’t care. Nobody wants to employ or give us a chance to do anything for good money and livable wages and expect us to move quickly and competitively to where we burn out n get taken advantage of and bullied even more. and coworkers and manager bully us because we’re different or if we see something wrong with the system they retaliate and get rid of us even if we are employed. So we either face dismissed applications or we become uninterested in a job that’s desperate to hire anyone in because the wages aren’t high enough for survival n cost of everything is hella expensive but they want to pay a 40 year old desperate person looking for work 11-14 an hour. That’s disgusting. or we need to go back to school( can’t afford it) just to make good money. Rediculous.n we face drug addiction( to cope) or face homelessness as a result because we can’t make any money due to nobody giving us a chance because we’re eccentric or different and even when homeless, society just will crap on us even more and say get a job which brings me back to the aforementioned issue that I said.counseling doesn’t help because counselors just don’t understand, can’t empathize n havent had our experiences and are just there for a penny and rush office visits and send us in our way. This world sucks.
@@user-lo9po5mp5u there’s no such thing as hell in the afterlife. Matter of fact. earth is hell. GOD and Jesus are all forgiving and non judgmental on the spiritual realm and there’s nothing but unconditional love over there.it’s humans who create hell on earth and judge other people.hate to break it to ya.
@carla7932 then what the hell are all the references to hell Jesus brings up?
I'm glad you're still here to tell this story! Life is much too precious to end it like that. Even though things may seem terrible at the moment one considers suicide, those things will ALWAYS turn around with time. I like to think of life as a rotisserie. There will be moments where you are directly over the fire and moments where you are able to get a break from the heat while those around you cook. However, it never stops rotating because everybody has to go over the fire eventually.
Interesting analogy. Thanks for sharing and may the Lord our God bless you richly in this life and here after. Be well.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thank you, you too! I saw your second video and I sure hope you are doing much better since these videos were made. I'm sure it felt therapeutic to get all of that out in the open! I am a nurse and I always commend my patients when they open up about past traumas. It takes a lot of courage for one to do.
@@TheArmedNurse You serve a great purpose here and you seem well suited for it. God's angels are surely smiling on you. This surely has been beneficial for my piece of mind. Hopefully for other as well.
I am very close to Boscawen.
I don't want to die but don't see any other choice. I had a great life until a bad car accident. I was successfully self employed so I got no help financially. It's been FOUR YEARS that I've been trying to get disability. My family has plenty of money and will not help. I'm living in horrible pain 24/7. Landlord took my car. I can't walk anywhere. Can't get food. There's nothing left. If I don't take my life, I will starve, be evicted because my landlord also raped me and is afraid of me putting him away. I can't freeze outside. I just need to KNOW that there is a life after this. I'm sad because it's not what I want but I can't find another way.
@@deborahcheek1715 Such a difficult struggle you find yourself in, dear. So very sorry to know you are being so tested in this life. Yes. There is most certainly an afterlife. But no one should go there blindly. Especially if you do end up taking your life out. I do hope you find healing. But if not, do not die without Christ. There is Heaven and Hell. There are beings both loving and evil clamouring for your soul. If I eventually succeed in suicide next Time atleast I die in the Lord. But suicide is a major sin. Highly discouraged in the spirit world. It could lead to reincarnation at best and hell at worst if one dies without Christ in their heart. I pray you make the right move for yourself, luv. GOD bless and heal you. Amen.
Are you still considering it? Sounds like it.
I was brought up Jewish so there is no Christ in my life. I do believe in a benevolent G-d so I'm not afraid of hell. I just need to know that all of the NDEs are real. Seems like there are too many for them to be fake. I just really need to KNOW. But I will freeze to death otherwise.
Thank you for responding to my message.
@@deborahcheek1715Hello again, dear. I respond to everyone if I can. Yes, I still suffer suicidal tendencies. It's a demon I'm trying to have delivered. I'm saved but this is still Satan's world we are stuck in for now. Jesus was a Jew while in human form. He is truly your Messiah. Jews denying it and missing the boat does not change that fact. He wants you to come to him. GOD has rules to enter Heaven. Accepting Jesus as your savior is a major one. Don't chance it. Jews and Muslims are converting to Christ daily here in the END TIME'S. They are receiving signs and wonders. This is the illusion. Afterlife is real life. May you find your way. GOD bless you.
We need more people like you in this world. ALIVE❤️
God bless you for your sincere kindness ,my friend. It is needed. I am trapped in a dark space yet again and hoping God provides real soon before hopelessness sets in this winter. Pray for me. Much Love to you.
Praying 🙏 ❤ peace and joy is found in Christ
I was pronounced DOA ( NOT a NDE.) at a medical center in 1973... No further attempt was made to resuscitate me... More than half an hour passed, and then my Heart started to beat again... During that half hour, I discovered the DIFFERENCE, between the human body, and "LIFE The Real Self"... I found that this universe including the human body, to be just a 'STORY', presented in the form of a 'Holographic Simulation', in a Display Register, of "The Processing System of LIFE", where "LIFE The Real Self", ( An Offspring of The LIGHT ) is the OBSERVER.
Wow, that is such a profound and unimaginable discovery; thank you for sharing. It seems to be the underlying discovery in all of the NDEs I've read or listened to. What an unbelievable universe--and beyond x
Hi! PLEASE READ! These NDE's are deceiving many! Remember that the devil is a LIAR who appears as an Angel of Light. Give me 2 minutes and I will share with you The Gospel of Jesus Christ! 2 minutes!
Sin is an archery term and it means to miss the perfect bullseye. Miss even a tiny bit and you have sinned. God gave us The Ten Commandments to show us what The Bullseye is and reveal to us our utter helplessness to reach it and to point us to His Son Jesus Christ.
God says in His Word The Bible that there is NO ONE who does Good not even one! That we have ALL sinned and that the wages of sin is Death, Eternal separation from Him in Hell, and that without the shedding of Blood there is no remission of sins.
FACT: You are a sinner and you have the death penalty and it is Just. God is Perfect Justice.
But WAIT! God is also Perfect LOVE! Here is the GOOD NEWS Proclaimed throughout The whole Bible! John 3:16! Jesus laid down His Eternal Glory, took on Human Flesh, and willingly went to the Cross to suffer the excruciating torture, to shed His Blood as Payment in FULL for All your sins! No one can accuse God of not Loving us! Saving us from Hell cost God Everything and He Paid it ALL! Sin Must be Paid for and we can't do it! Jesus's last words on the Cross were "It Is Finished!" Your sin debt has been Paid in FULL and Eternal Life is God's FREE GIFT to be Freely received!
You can do absolutely Nothing to earn or deserve or keep your salvation. It's All Jesus! Pure Grace!
You 100% WILL stand before Jesus one day either as Savior or Judge. Either Innocent because All your sins are washed White as Snow by Jesus's Blood and going to Heaven Forever OR Guilty as Charged as your life is Judged by God's Law The Ten Commandments and going to Hell Forever. The choice is yours. God will not take you against your will. Everyone in Hell said NO to God's FREE GIFT.
You can Pray to Jesus right now right where you are, admitting you are a sinner and believing that Jesus Paid for All your sins with His Blood and Rose again! Tell The Lord Jesus that you are placing all your faith in what He already did for you and accepting Him as your Savior! Jesus will save you instantly and never ever let you go!
No sin you have committed or will commit can take you to Hell. God Sees you through The Blood of Jesus and you are White as Snow!
THAT is a GOD Who LOVES us past what we can even fathom!
Don't let anyone tell you anything different than what God says about your Eternal destiny and Heaven and Hell. 💖💖💖💖💖
What does this mean? I dont understand.
you are just the greatest guy in my opinion and there aren't a lot of them out there and may GOD BLESS YOU AND PROTECT YOU ALWAYS
Wow, and thanks so much for your kindness, Diane! I wish the people who directly surround me felt the same way for me. Feeling little more then coldness since i moved to Maine. But i love the land so. May God bless you deeply always. 😘
I thank you for sharing your story, , I haven’t finished the video but as soon as I started watching you talk I felt a connection and I could sense your strength and it gives me hope, I wish you nothing but light and love I hope you are finding peace in this life xoxoxo
@@chcjcj6959 Your words were healing, so thank you, my friend. I think I'm on to something now. Thanks. May you be well blessed. Write anytime.
Blimey, I thought I'd had it rough! Major kudos for getting through all that, and serious props for making the video, bro. You got Big J in your corner now so everything's cool. Sweet!
Glad to have you on my side somewhere out there ,Bro. You and those sweet souls like you are in my prayers. Be well here in Hell till we reach Heaven again.
Glad you’re still experiencing the light in life !! ♥️
21:52 If you mean the British singer who did 'Cars', that was Gary Numan. He came out of the punk era way back in the day. Mind you, I don't know a thing about the goth/death metal scene of the 2000s.
Yes it was G.Numan's 2013 album. He was more goth at that stage and still is.
What's that band playing at 22:30?
@@SunshineFromWithin Hello, that band would be Amber Asylum playing. Same CD I played at my attempted suicide. To bring back the memory and set the exact mood.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Great, thanks. And what's the name of the album?
@@SunshineFromWithin "Bitter river." It's deep.
I appreciate you so much thanks for being you and telling your story
I am so glad that you are with us brother. You are the lost sheep that Jesus spoke about when he left the 99. Stay strong in Christ.
Hello Jonathan, Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your kind words of love. Yes, I love this about Jesus. As for the depressing music, yes it speaks to my depression. Dark depressive music sooths the depression rather then attempting to treat it like it does not exist as we do through happy silly music. I do enjoy uplifting music as well though. God bless you richly and may you be well in all your days.
Very emotionally sensitive person, just need more love and understanding. Definitely prayer too
I’m having the bleakest day and found your channel. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree with you that people calling it a coward’s way out never tried it. I think it must take a whole lot of courage to pull that trigger. It’s a lonely world and I’m so tired of pain…♥️
So true, Dear. I do hope you find strength in Christ. I only found him at age 47. The only place i found any strength and comfort. But he is not just an ancient tale. He is more real than we. He wants a personal relationship with you. Draw close to him and then he meets you half way garantueed. Your life will be changed. Mines not perfect and never will be. But im saved and i know i am under his protection by appointed angels. I pray you find your comfort some how if you choose not to seek him. Be well.
@ thank you 🙏 I have loved Jesus Christ for about as long as I can remember. My Mum taught me Sunday School at our little country church, Bellafield. I pray a lot. I have a real problem with depression and anger because of the pain and anxiety I have from injuries. I had skull fractures and every time the air pressure changes I get a migraine. Plus half a dozen other types of migraines and various other extremely painful conditions that just really suck. I just get so tired. I’ve isolated myself because of the pain and most of my family and support people have passed away. I’m so much younger than they were.. it’s so hard sometimes. I have the strongest feeling that I want to go home. I want to go home so badly but my home isn’t there anymore. The people aren’t there anymore. Is home now crossing over to be with them, with Christ? Is that what I’m pining for? Life feels so empty… Thanks so much for reaching out. I didn’t expect it. Your compassion and empathy is a comfort. I’m sure you’ve helped many who are struggling.I’m so glad you’ve found the light and love of Jesus Christ and taken him into your heart!(He always loved the imperfect most of all!) For all that you do, I pray that God will make His face to shine down upon you and bring you many, many blessings 🙏♥️🙏
@@Jackielocks Dear friend, Thanks for sharing. Im no celebrity. Why not write back in reply to the people who show me care? I even write the haters back. lol! But i am so sorry to read of your physical pains that seem so great. Let me first tell you that you are a much stronger person than i. I still struggle with deep suicidal deppression. I still seek deliverance prayer in hopes of being free of it. I look for the slightest excuse to off myself still. If i were to be inflicted with your pains, it would be a very valid excuse for me to end it and i believe Jesus would frown upon my giving up and yours, but if you are genuinely remorseful and repent of the deed we can still be forgiven. Suicide may interfer in our souls progression but i dont believe its a one way ticket to HELL. I pray now that you find healing and the strength to indoor rather than give in. May we survive till our appointed time to return to the Lord. God bless you, J.
@@rayzerwrecker70 I want you to know how much your answering my comment helped me yesterday. I was so touched by your kindness and really enjoyed your opinion on things. I’d Love to be able to sit down and yap with you- I think we’d have pretty similar views on a lot of things lol I wish I could be in that Support Group! They sound like great guys♥️ I swear like a Sailor thoughso I might get booted out..😬lol
The pain isn’t the worst part really. I started getting hurt early in life and so I had a lot of practice before this. Plus I had older brothers who toughened me up😳7 and 9 years older.. I couldn’t be a suck(or a Brat!) if I wanted to hang out with them and their friends- plus if I got hurt, the last thing they wanted was for me to got running screaming and crying into the house, right. So I got picked up, stood up, and dusted off with an, “Awwww you’re okay now aren’t you? You don’t have to go into the house do you…?” I might even get a bit of a cuddle when I was a little gaffer and I was upset enough lol The worst part for me is not being able to do hardly Anything. No job. That kills me. I hate the monotony and feeling so useless. I can’t even Volunteer ffsakes.(oh! Just words people-don’t panic😉)
I also agree with you about the whole going to Hell for Suicide(and many other Old Testament things)Jesus was All About Love and forgiveness. Hell and fire and brimstone, and damnation are all things the Old Testament God promised the Wicked before Jesus Christ was born and spread his message of Love and forgiveness. God changed after his son was born and even more again and after Jesus died. It gave God a much closer connection to people and a better understanding of what human beings actually go through here on earth. God became a kinder, gentler, more loving and forgiving God/Father to his people. That’s my interpretation and I’ve put in a ton of religious time!
Sorry,now I’ve written an Essay.. lol and I hardly ever talk!😳 I’ll stop ✋ Thanks again my dear new Friend(?) You can know for sure that you came back and made a huge difference for me Yesterday. Thank You♥️🙏♥️ So if you ever want to come visit BC Canada 🇨🇦 just let me know when you’re ready lol Guesthouse should be finished by early this summer and middle of nowhere North Central BC is Beautiful! I owe you-Big Time😊♥️😊🙏😊♥️😊🙏😊♥️🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I see the sadness in your eyes but your soul is beautiful 🙌🏻 🕊♥️
For you to see this, you must be such a lovely soul aswell. Be blessed 🙌 ✨ 🙏 💖
@@rayzerwrecker70 looking for the good is the only way through our darkness, and every speck of light no matter how small is hope 🕊 stay blessed 🙏🏻♥️🥰
Thankyou for sharing yr experience 🥰 glad your here!
I have stuttered since I was 4 years old, and now I’m 24. I’ve lost everything in my life-no friends, no talking at all. I mean, nothing, for real. I’ve tried twice to end my life, but when I saw those NDEs where people describe hellish situations, I thought, God, at least let me die. Why do you want me to keep suffering every second? Forget this world; after 20 years of pain, I’d rather experience hell than live in this body with a stutter, where I can’t even say my name.
@@user-ve5oe8wf4d Thanks for visiting my page, my friend. I'm sorry for your struggles. I continue to struggle as well. Know this. Your soul chose this life challenge of yours. Our souls plan difficult challenging roles in life some more rigorous than others. As a Christian we are given further support from the spirit world to carry on and a promise of advancing spiritually when we return. That's why we must pick up our cross and follow Jesus. I pray you find the strength. Suicide sometimes leads to a do-over.
You're still here brother. That only means that you have work to do before you get to go home. Then again that applies to all of us. I can somewhat relate to your suicide experience although I failed. Anyhow my learned lesson is that suicide is and should never be an option. Glad that you're still with us brother. God bless.
As I am glad you failed too ,Brother. You are a merit to many. So on shining in the light of the Lord. Many blessings to you.
Unfortunately we have to live through life we can't take our life , I suffer with some bad depression myself brother , thx for your testimony it takes courage , God bless you.
Your story is so wonderful, you will help so many with your experience. You are a great guy I love your personality and appreciate you taking the time to relive the darkness so that we can witness your light!
Thanks for sharing it helps us to learn a lot of what we don't know so thank you
You are very welcome. Thanks for the kind words and God bless you.
This is the video I was looking for!I want to hear more of your paranormal stories!
Thanks my friend. I may be filming something special tmrw morning and posting soon after. I have slowed down a bit with the Maine weather slowing me down. Thank you much for you support and God bless you ,my friend.
@@rayzerwrecker70 God bless.Yeah I wanna hear more about the hauntings and stuff.
You're not alone. I think about it every single day. The only reason I'm still here is my daughter.
@@slimcat0072 Your a good man. Keep hanging on to this life for her and to shape a better afterlife for both of you. This too shall pass.
You’ll destroy your kid! And go to hell! Please just be tough, hang it out, cry out to God. I know life is at times unbearable. But ride it out…
Bible/church/ prayer… please
thank you for sharing. God bless
First thoughts of this was at 9, seemed like a relief to know we can check out whenever we want.
Did the violent end scare you?
@@Rodmic-hd9pn it took mental preparation and fortitude but I thought it would be quick and painless. It only is if you don't survive it.
I’ll check on you Rayzer. I have some experience with depression myself. How are you feeling right now? Hopefully you see this comment.
Thank you, my friend. For caring. I struggle with the urge more and more lately. It's this war and all the evil in power in our government and across the world. I feel it must be the end times. So much is pointing to it. I do not want to be here for that kind of destruction. I am now the proud owner of a nitrogen tank. Looks like that may be the way I leave this troubled world. But little old ladies went out the same way. Alone. So why should I have it any better. At least its painless. I am sorry for your suffering as well ,P,Ranger. Raynard Hannah on FaceBook.
@@rayzerwrecker70 thanks for the reply my man. I heard that you grew up Catholic and then found Christ after your whole scenario. I am a practicing Muslim myself, and we too believe in Jesus, I bring this all up because we also believe in the end of times. Without a doubt we live in crazy times, but the beautiful thing about America is we can do our own thing, go about our own lives, even with all the chaos going on. We have to think and stay positive. Thanks for the honesty about the nitrogen tank man, but but let’s not use that, unless we’re doing some sort of science experiment haha. Rather tell me your interests and hobbies. I know you’re an artist and enjoy music. Sadly I’m not on Facebook but I’m looking forward to your message on here. Sorry for the long winded reply, hope to hear from you soon!
This is like a tutorial on good suicide guns. “Yeaaaah, I kind’a like a good 32 ought bolt rack jib. I feel like that would take the head right off. No fuss, no muss.”
There’d be muss
Jesus Christ is the answer.
Yes indeed.
Yes he is!
You mean that fake God that the sheep follow?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the answer to a joke he ain't fixed Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit yet only cause more division
@@martymcfly6223because you don't believe , doesn't make it so. ✌❤
I was hugely into DSBM music. As soon as I started watching I felt like you and I had some similarities. I'm only 13 minutes in to your video and I love it. God bless you brother.
Thank you and God bless you as well ,Bro. I still like the music and even write my own. Seek GraveSideService on here. My band. Metal brothers unite!
When I’ve died in deep sleep....there is an absolutely brilliant flash of light and then an cornerless white landscape with a severe ringing in my ears (like when you shoot with no earplugs)....it freaks me out and then I awake....this has happened many times!
Keep praying to Jesus or consider him as your guide and savior and he and his angels will protect you from dark forces outside the body.
Where is the nde ?
Part two. Its a long story. There is a link on the video and pg..
@@rayzerwrecker70 Thanks. I'll check it out. ruclips.net/video/pN01qZCIFOM/видео.html Please watch at 54:25
@@innerstar6569 Thanks I.L. Thats a great informative video that i agree with much.
hey inner light, we were taken for a ride on this one friend 🤦 Hope you are well. 🙏💙
Wild story. Great music in the background by the way. Those dark figures from your early years could been from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia. You’re a creative and probably more connected to your unconscious mind and shadow self. The unconscious holds psychic/spirit phenomena not easy to deal with if it bleeds through.
All light comes from dark. Glad you’re alive with the rest of us weirdos. Bless
Oh you are so funny and right on the mark. So blessed to discover colorful people in God's favor 🙏 here online through this msg. . Anyone who would like to be friends can find me as Raynard Hannah on f.b..God bless the wierdo's!
My nephew shot himself in the head and died. I miss him so much. I didn't get to know him till he was 20. We became very close. He killed himself at 24, on father's day.
So sorry to hear it. Suicides are on the rise in todays dark social climate. We as those left behind must come to terms with it and try to make this a better place worth living in. God bless you.
Help kids, Charity and you'll give Christ no option but to prove to you he's in charge. You'll feel it as the kids smile. You easily have an eye to see God.
I am ready to contribute my services where ever they seem needed and make themselves known to me. Thank you for your kind comment. God bless you.
Is there part 2 to this i realy would like to hear it but i can not find it
Here you are. Thanks for your interest in my story. I do hope my lesson in life serves you well in some way.
ruclips.net/video/RzstPwK2AIs/видео.html
Thank you for sharing this. My brother in Christ, may you feelH His love for the rest of your life and beyond
@@spiralrose I do know his compassionate love in little hints when I most need it, my brother in Christ. Just enough for me to keep holding on. we will know his love for all time hereafter . 💖
Ive lost my Best friend like a brother to me, and 2 of my cousins who again were like my brothers to suicide by gun.... Smh.... And I was there for obe of them when it took place.. The aftermath and pain left for those behind is worse than the death itself... Selfish..
I'm sorry for your loss, but its selfish to expect them to keep living for you despite their pain.
@@Jesamisus if you think a 15 yr old kid should blow his brains out you are the problem.
Their pain is permenent. Selfish is not the right word for them but for you it is.✌️
Thank you for your courage to share your life/ending and new beginning.
Thank you so much for recording this video🤗
No one should have to die with Gary Nueman as their exit music. Thats why I was saved. Lol. Kidding. Thanks for your kind support. May God bless 🙏 you.
@@rayzerwrecker70 you are hilarious my friend 😂 I was kinda wondering why you picked that 😅 May the Force be with you AND may you always KNOW IT 😀. I’m going thru a huge deal right now myself. I have a channel on YT I just started. I have been experiencing a lot of unexplained phenomena, stuff no one really believes is possible but this shit is really happening to me. I’m chronicling on my channel. I would love the opportunity to talk to you about it if you’re interested
@@Iamalwayshappyandsafe thnx bro, sorry ur going through some shit. Definitely get that shit on camera if yah can. Find me ax Raynard Hannah on F.B. to protect msg me there.
@@rayzerwrecker70 perfect thx. Just tried to friend you. My name starts with an M, and I’m female. You’ll see a lion and a cat
@@Iamalwayshappyandsafe I will look for you ,friend.
With all due respect I hope in your story you'll get straight to the point and tell the story without cutting off and on and going all in circles. I keep believing post because people constantly do this and I don't have the patience I lose track of the story when they do this. Your story sounds wonderful and I'm really interested so I'm ready to listen thank you so much for sharing
Sorry , you can skip around i dont mind. My resulting brain damage naturally effected my mental means to form recollections and coherent dialogue to express them at times. Its a struggle 😪. But still so very blessed for it. As you are somehow
.
@@rayzerwrecker70 that sounds tough. Thank you for telling experience
Sounds like me. With getting a gun. I been feeling the same exact way lately. Get a gun for when I've just had enuff.
@@MikeInocencio-sl7ih I hear you, brother. Just know if you obtain a gun, you are more than likely going to use it. If you are fighting the urge at all, try to avoid that process. May YESHUA heal you in your struggles.
I’m glad you’re here
@@dakotawinters5062 Thank you for that, my friend. Be well in your soul journey.
" Meet John Doe " is a good film about suicide. It was directed by Frank Capra and starred Barbara Stanwyck and Gary Cooper.
My exiting song would be Extol's song Aperture
Thank you for sharing ❤ I needed to hear this
Love the Candy Darling deathbed photo “recreation”
@@Jeffinthemiddle huh, I'm not sure what you are speaking of. What is that and where in the video? Thanks for visiting.
The cover thumbnail
Sorry, I guess it was not intentional
www.christies.com/img/LotImages/2022/NYR/2022_NYR_20981_0003_000(peter_hujar_candy_darling_on_her_deathbed_1973124048).jpg?mode=max
I hope you are feeling well these days!
Peace....thx for sharing....peace....
You have an excellent sense of humor!! Howard
Hah, thanks for saying ,Howard. I feel those who have truly known suffering tend to be the funniest people. Maybe we appreciate light hearted comedy more because we have seen the extreme opposite of it. Odd how you picked up on that in this video because I thought i was being serious and leaving out and comic relief this time. God bless you ,Sir.
Im wondering Ray, what initially made you think that taking your life would be best answer for your situation?
Thank you for sharing. We had a loss by suicide in family this year. I keep looking at their picture and feeling they were feeling so wronged and pained that they felt no choice. Seems like its just a choice to stop feeling. Its like not being able to see a good answer with life. I hope you always see reasons that you are living and it can make you feel ironically happy your going through life. Hope that makes sense.
That romanticism of taking your life is just a worldly lie. Take yourself out to see nature...its brutal but we have the amazing instinct to survive....make others smile,they need it. ❤
@@vicharmon1901 Hello friend, so very sorry to read of your Terrible loss. Suicide is a demon that is assigned to certain people that are less equipped to fight it's temptations and lies. Emotions are spiritual and follow us to the other side. The same emotions and feelings are deeper and more exaggerated in the afterlife. So it's not good to die sad and unsaved. I still have zero will to live and it's a daily fight. I am going to deliverance prayer sessions to continue my fight against them. Since finding Jesus, the demons ramped up their efforts because now I am even a greater prize 🏆 for them to gain. The only difference now is if I give in, I'm saved in the blood of Jesus. Be well.
I'm at pains to understand why I've never been part of this existence. I have all the attributes needed but I can't connect. I really hope there's no incarnation back on earth at the end.✌️☘️
@@Signaman-z9d I feel yah, homes. I'm truly sorry It's a possibility for some.
This man is real, God bless his heart for sharing!
Thank you, my friend and fellow journeyman in life. God bless you in your journey as well.
Thank you for sharing your story.
My other worldly Christian Horror Metal band have just released our new EP for all to purchase on the link below. This music acts as a short concept album that speaks of the horrors i suffered around the making of earlier godless metal albums with earlier bands i fronted. Including the song "CREST FALLEN" lyrically based on my actual suicide experience. My metal band is GraveSideService based out of Rhode Island. Please support and thank you dearly. anpentaprod.bandcamp.com/album/beings-born-of-night-black-horror
Sounds like what I've experienced. But you're making it interesting the way you're telling your experience. You're amazing!
How nice of you to say such a thing ,Ravin. Many thanks and may Gods rich blessing's be upon you. We all shine brightest in the light of GOD son Jesus.
Yih did a great job! Thank you!
God and us love you! Thank you!💕
@@andreaskelton5479 So truly loving of you. I felt it. Many thanks 🙏,luv. Be well in Christ.
Jeff mara brought me here! I love hearing your story
Thank you, Kali! Thank you so much. It is so therapeutic for me to tell what i know of it to others who want to know. I too love watching vids of other people NDE's. It seems most are better stories than my own. Mine is more a warning against dabbling in evil. God bless you and stay well.
i hope you tell all of your stories. glad you have God in your heart.
Thank Doug, I tried making such a video yesterday. Instead the video went missing unexplainably. I will try to share it all as i go. God bless you kindly.
for all of those having these same issues here is a great prayer : IN THE NAME OF GOD , I ORDER satin and his kingdome OUT OF MY HEAD , I ALSO ORDER satin OUT OF MY BODY AND OUT OF MY HOME, BE GONE NOW AND FOREVER , NEVER TO RETURN , I SAY THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST . OH HEAVENLY FATHER PLEASE COVER ME IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS AND PROTECT ME AND PLEASE FILL MY HOUSE WITH YOUR JOYFUL HEAVENLY ANGELS .GLORY BE TO GOD AND THANK YOU . God gave you the authority over satin and his kingdom so use it and ORDER HIM OUT. You can also do this for addiction or pain and illness.
Demons attacked Gods Saints too.
Is that surry, NH cemetery?
No ,it is Hopkinton down town cemetery.
You go through so many details that don't need to be said that I was getting extremely bored.. but I wanted to hear your nde so I stayed with it. I am fascinated by the other side I know it's real and I know it's there. I have absolutely no doubts that there is a God and Jesus and our guardian angels and everything else there I know it for a fact. I don't know how I do but I have no doubts. You are a pretty good storyteller except the details of north south east or west the color of your pug and just details you take a long time to tell anything you might want to work on that mister hahaha we are what we are right and we can't change it!
Yes, well thank you for taking the time and i hope it filled the moment with a worthy take away of some sort. I can only say i must be blessed to communicate as well as i do considering a 32 caliber bullet did a Ricochet in my brain and remains lodged in their for life. Sp thank you though, that was pretty funny to read. lol. God bless and be well in all you do ,Leesa.
I agree. It is not cowardly to kill yourself. It takes one to the brink of anguish to act against that natural instinct of self preservation. Good you made it....It is scary how many suicides are happening.
Thnx for sharing your thoughts, Kitty. We are in dark times. I tend to think the end times by the look of it all. Just time to up the prayers and faith. God bless you.
What must I do to be saved?
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.
That means to put all of your confidence (trust) in the person and finished work of Christ alone for salvation.
Jesus paid for all the sins of all the world at the cross (past, present, and future). That payment is put to your account when you have believed on Christ alone for salvation.
Praise God!
Thanks for sharing your story.I hope you are doing well , now.I've also suffered from depression and anxiety for large parts of my life.Sometimes you wonder whats the point of it all and if God is righteous why is there so much suffering in this world...I truly believe there is also a benevolent force like spirit guides etc.If I may ask , do you believe in reincarnation?I still need to watch your video on the Jeff Mara podcast.I also have to say that Gary Numan's album splinter is a great album.Very unique.
I did that once, i didn't have a gun so i got a gallon of antifreeze and some Old English 40's. I got drunk and drank half of that antifreeze. First I did that by our family cemetery, than i got drunk and drank that antifreeze, i pass out and woke up at the hospital. The nurse said they pump my stomach. I don't know how my little sister found me at the grave yard and she call the ambulance. I was like a mile or so away from my mother's house on the reservation, and it was in the middle of nowhere. I woke up a few days later. I was in the blackness,It does take guts coward won't do that.
@@wildone505 Very true, my friend. We like to think we have control of our own death through suicide, but if it's not our spiritually appointed time to go, we ain't going nowhere. 😆 As proven in your case and mine. Very unlikely to be saved yet here we are, brother. Best to do our utmost to make it to the Finnish line of life for numerous good reasons. GOD bless you in your journey here onward.
ALSO,
***CONGRATULATIONS ****
ON YOUR SALVATION!!!!!
Bless you Ray. Are you ok?
Thank you, my loving friend in life and spirit. I am not sure how well I am doing here in this life. My struggle is still with me. But it's tough all around here in what may be the END TIMES. I can only be sure I am saved and have a place prepared and reserved for me in God's house here after. See yah there, my friend! Much Love to you. Write anytime.
@@rayzerwrecker70 if you don't mind me saying, when my mind starts to think too much about sad things, I remember the scripture that says to think on things that are good and holy and uplifting. It really helps me, trying to think about the deputy around me and that I am loved by the creator of the universe. Not because I deserve it but because that is who He is. Yesterday I read psalm 50:23, he who sacrifices thankfulness honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God. - so I am just trying to make that sacrifice thanking Him for all things I have and see. Today is the day the Lord has made let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ray, it does get easier when you practice it. I hate dark depression. I fight the good fight of sacrifice of worship and thankfulness. Be blessed my friend. The days are dark but we don't have to be. I'm in nh if you ever want to pray!
So glad Jesus found you. If certain thoughts still affect you there may be some soul ties, alters, agreements or demons that still exist and operate spiritually in your life/mind. It's your right to be free totally and completely. It will never hurt you to ask God specifically for freedom from these too.
True. I am inexplicably tied to darkness. Its a constant battle. But I keep fighting. More strength to you ,my friend
@@rayzerwrecker70 freedom is yours to walk in through the blood of Jesus and the victory he got for us. You actually need to pray to break those strongholds. There are people you can contact to pray with you that have specific ministries and annointing to send these things out of your life because it's not everyone that has the right armour to do so. The devil and his helpers seem big and scary but they are absolutely afraid if Jesus and you as his coheir walking in the truth of salvation. THIS IS FACT. Satan works on deception to keep control and that's all he has until we make it our reality. He has perfected the art of deception so much that he makes us believe in the lie that there is no escape from him and his demonic servants until heaven. There is a RUclips channel called The Supernatural Life - Daniel Adams, this man and his team go around using the power of God and the holy spirit to rid people of these spiritual tormentors, the demons even confess when commanded to speak. Check out some deliverance videos. It's so real and people are being freed in Jesus name. Daniel and his team also do one to one's so you can contact them. As much as I'm saved I still am identifying and cutting some things that attached them selves to my life (either by agreement or otherwise). They are clearly at work so the walk/ work really begins after you are saved and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and saviour it does not end with it as some may have us believe. Godly things are done in the spirit but we need to make sure what happens on earth agrees with it and that is through us. Both God and the enemy actually need us to achieve anything here on earth. Those are the rules which is why Jesus had to made flesh to accomplish what he did in this realm. You know this already, I just want you to know freedom can be yours and just because you may have dabbled in some things it's not now your life sentence to be afflicted or punished for it. We are ALL sinners. Sorry to go on and on but you must know that absolute freedom is your right. It's a practical walk. I hope to read of your new found levels of freedom here soon to the testimony of God's power.
God bless you.
@@sylviasworld9397 so true. All of what you say. I am still tormented. I will seek them out. Thank you so much ,my friend. Much love and blessings to you and yours.
@@rayzerwrecker70 Many thanks for your kind words of blessing. Your torments are the last kicks of a dying horse.
When I was 13, I was lying on my bed and I suddenly had a out of body experience. When it was through I said Wow! Suddenly God pulled the veil and I was allowed to see the demon behind it. Read the book, The Beautiful Side of Evil. I highly recommend it!
Not sure what you are saying here. Are you encouraging people to accept demons as something that can be a good thing? There is no way.
@@rayzerwrecker70 No, demons can deceive even with beauty. I was allowed to see the demon who had been behind my vision. I am a born again Christian now. The book I recommend is true written by a woman who was heavily involved in the occult. She is now a Christian.
Very good. Now i know what the point is that you are making. I am fully in agreement with you. Sounds like a good book. God bless you.
May God bless you and keep you protect you.
@@Rodmic-hd9pn Thank you,my friend. I need it. GOD bless and keep you as well. Be well in Jesus name. Thanks for visiting.
You ballzzzzz dude!! Glad your here God kicks ass too!!
I hope you are. Better and happy
Thanks for watching. I hope you could gleam some thing positive from it. I have not found happiness yet but I trust its guaranteed in the after life through my guidance by Jesus's promise. So I find peace in that for now. God bless.
This was amazing.. hope you are doing well brother...
More to be learned about the specific suicide epidemic i am a demographic part of. Much more to learn about my death of despair and others like me. ruclips.net/video/Rw1dNtDEA00/видео.html
Bless you glad you are ok But blimmey I'm yelling at the screen please get to the nde
Gary Newman?
@@amerikeet Did I mention that? Yes. His release called Splinters at the time and Amber Asylum. Newman I listened to on the way to the cemetery 🪦 and I listened to Amber there.
I hope you’re doing well Ray.
@@1310Robbo Hey friend, thanks so much for caring. Jesus is somehow sustaining me so far. Very anxiety ladened times we find ourselves in aren't they. Very uncertain. All we got now is the one true GOD in Christ and our promised fate with him to focus on. GOD bless you 🙏.