The Inner Worlds of Dissociative Identity Disorder 🌎💕
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
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Hi, as someone with maladaptive daydreaming disorder I just wanted to make a few corrections. Yes maladaptive daydreaming is very different from having an inner world but it has nothing to do with meditation, it is a form of heavy dissociation, we don't even close our eyes we just dissociate and daydream to cope. Sometimes we don't even stop what we are doing if it involves movements that are mechanical and repetitive. It is addictive and if you don't do it for a long time you get all the symptoms of withdrawal. You don't choose when you daydream either, it could be triggered by anxiety or even just boredom, so you don't "make time" to do it. It can take over your whole life and it definitely stops you from getting better. Many people daydream about tragic scenarios too, so it's not for entertainment it's a non-functional coping mechanism.
As someone with maladaptive daydreaming as well, 100% agree with everything said here. Thank you for putting it into words
this is a great explanation
I also think it may have gotten confused w the trend or phenomenon of “shifting,” the community of which is likely similar but usually refuses to recognize what’s going on and usually tries to explain it differently, n I’ve seen the two referred to the same online but from the desc that sounded like what may have been heard ab
Edit: ah yea it was mentioned so I think they might have been grouped
@@tiptapricot I haven't heard of that before, do you mind sharing a link or explaining the difference? (totally fine if you don't have the spoons
@@CharaMcN I’m not an expert on the diff, just that shifting was/is a trend of ppl believing they are actually mentally shifting into alternate realities and doing things there, calling it backed by science or sometimes part of a religion (even tho what they’re referring to def isn’t). I’ve seen some ppl say it’s just ppl being tricked into falling into maladaptive daydreaming with a new label, but it’s a whole community online n was kinda big in drama awhile back. That’s ab the extent of my knowledge bc I usually try n stay away from the community that labels themself that way bc it seems v harmful to me.
Hey Pixie! So you mentioned Maladaptive Daydreaming (MADD) and Ive had it since I was 6(?) so I wanted to give some ‘fun’ facts about it and educate on some things you guys said! I should also say, just like DID, it’s different for everyone and just because I do something doesnt mean everyone with MADD does it.
So for me, MADD is kinda like story telling. Its more or less a daydream/story that you go to. Sometimes people are the main character in their daydream or its someone else. Kinda linking it to the inner worlds, some people call their daydreams universes because its kinda like the MCU where everything can be connected or a day dream relies on other daydream. Also, usually when I explain MADD to ppl, they do think that its DID initially (im a singlet) which I find really interesting.
Someone else commented this, but you guys said that ppl with MADD “make time” for daydreams and that its meditative and its really not. MADD is maladaptive. Its affects our lives a lot where we would rather daydream than see/talk to friends or talk to family or even go to work. It can be an addiction and sometimes we can get frustrated if people interrupt us from our daydreams. I know you didnt mean any ill will by saying that nor do I take it that way. Its just something that’s important to understand with MADD that sometimes its really not fun for ppl who have it. Sometimes people daydream about themselves or a character in their daydream being hurt or traumatized over and over again. Its a dissociative/escapism coping mechanism that can help with trauma and life, but again its maladaptive and takes over our lives.
Again this isnt me being like “how dare you say that”, but more of like “hey its a lot more than what you are talking about!” If anyone has questions im open to talking about it!
I wonder if I have elements of this because I have a very elaborate system of inner universes and worlds some of which are completely original and some of which are based on things I've read or seen. There is a definite daydreaming narrative a lot of the time. At times I can be 'caught' in the universes and it takes me a minute to disengage before I can respond. At other times, I become hyper focused on them and lose awareness of my surroundings. I will literally just not here. I thought it was hyper-focusing from my borderline ADHD, but this lines up more with the daydreaming side of it.
@@LadyVineXIII Id say read up about it online, preferably from scientific sources and from diagnosed people's experiences. Its how I started suspecting and being morensure I could have this myself. If you are able (as I know many people arent, I wasnt at the time of finding out about this disorder), talk about it or bring it up with a professional, worst case, they wave it off or arent specialized enough to help you with it.
@Into The Void Solid advice. Thank you. I am always extremely picky about my online sources and look into the citations. No citations is the fastest and biggest red flag for me.
This video reminded me of a therapy session where i visualised a home, island etc. I remember getting really nervous because i just felt so vulnerable openning my imagination to my therapist like that(especially because also i had my eyes closed and couldnt see his reactions) and i used to dislike those sessions heavily. Im a really imaginative person but i hated looking into myself while imagining instead of using other characters to experience stuff like i usually do.
Y'alls hair in this video is so cute omg?? Also hell yeah post notifications! I've been super curious abt inner worlds so I'm stoked for this :)
yes i love this lil flip
As someone with C-PTSD I definitely have an inner world, I don't have alters but I have a space inside
me too
I think people without any trauma can form them too. Since my therapist was talking us through how to make one (we already had one but still).
It was nice to see Flora around 💕🌸
Hi Pixie! I love being in your corner of the internet ❤ Much love 💕
Awe we love having you here!!! 🥰🌈💕
I'm a singlet and I have very very clear visualization! I also have a reeeally loud and constant inner dialogue (I say dialogue instead of monologue because it often comes about as me having a conversation with, another part of me I guess? Or like it's the same me but it's just how I process my thoughts, I'm not really sure 😅) I usually say a combination of I, we, and you, depends on the context! This was a really cool video, sending love to you all 🫶
Same!!!!
Very clear visualisation also but I think most of the time my inner monologue really sticks to "I" only - third person pronouns only if I'm trying them out :0
Same!
Same here ♥️
Full aphantasia, no internal monologue, no memory of any dreams ever, singlet.
I find it so WILD hearing about others varying experiences. But it's both interesting and important to be aware of and learn how diversely people experience the world in order to be able to be empathetic to others' experiences
When I "imagine" things, I'm imagining their general... shape? But it's not a visual shape. It's like a vague presence. Like the feeling you get when someone is standing next to you but you're not actively looking at them and are simply aware of their presence. Except apple shaped (or whatever you're imagining). So I could walk through my house mentally but it'd just be remembering where walls and obstacles are in relation to myself and the memory of the feeling of physically walking through it. So I could probably do the same if I was attempting to create an inner world of sorts.
I don't have an internal monologue, but do have intrusive thoughts. They're just like the 'urge' to do something I know I shouldn't. Like remembering what it would feel like to put my hand on the stove while being consciously aware it's on and that would be bad. If that makes sense.
For dreams I might wake up scared if I had a nightmare. Or content if I had a good dream. But never any actual content and 90% of time it's nothing, I'm just awake and it feels like it's been seconds since I fell asleep.
Brains are weird.
ooh that’s so interesting! if you’re thinking about a certain memory do you “visualize” it the same way? do you tend to remember more of the emotions you felt as opposed to the actions that happened?
@@littlewyzard I tend to remember actions and emotions. Kinda like muscle memory. And my brain can pull whole descriptions out of wherever it stores them. I'm just not seeing anything as I'm describing colors, designs, etc. It's just chance I remember those details. I remember having a very furry bag and what it felt to pet it. But I don't remember if it was green or blue. Just that it was cool toned. I can /recognize/ things but I have a harder time pulling descriptive words from memories unless something in the moment specifically made me categorize those words away I guess.
I find your distinction between headspace and inner world really interesting. As someone who’s starting to highly consider the possibility of being an osdd system, the headspace idea sounds a lot closer to what we’re experiencing, it might just take more work and discovery of our system to actually access an inner world. So far only Stella has a clear “inner life”, probably due to her being a fictive. Also as far as the internal monologue thing goes I like to describe our brain as a radio with many different stations that frequently intercept each other. Anyways, all this to say i really appreciate your thoughts/perspective!!
I will RUN everytime y’all post 😤 much love to pixie & co. 💞🌟🌈
stumbled upon this video after your most recent tiktok showed up on my fyp and this was such a lovely, informative experience !! i really appreciate the level of introspection and self-reflection that went into this, the thoughtful off-shoot questions and theories, the visual aids with all the artwork and hand gestures, the way you included other systems' experiences, and how mindful you were with your language - helped me adjust my own perspective a bit! not to mention the gorgeous backdrop/intro/thumbnail and hair/outfit/accessories
The thing is I don't have DID but I've been watching your videos for 2 years now because I'm really into alternative fashion. And now that you are talking about this I've found myself quite interested in this content. I find the concept of inner worlds fascinating ! Thank you for sharing all of this 💖🌈
I love learning about DID ! this video was so interesting. Also YOUR HAIR ♡ !! I was needing a new pixie video… when Im having a bad day, I binge watch your videos over and over like cartoon reruns.
Thank you! This is the only person I trust to talk about such a complex and complicated subject. I have similar experience but milder and I never named my systems. I’ve made a lot progress from working on my healing process but it is exhausting.
I’ve done some course work and some research on DID and the way you explain your system and inner world is so eloquent and well explained to someone without an inner system . Better than anyone else I’ve seen explain it tbh
Looove this video and y'all looked super cute! My eyes drink up the color scheme every time I watch a new video and I feel a little more peaceful. I'm grateful for your willingness to display vulnerability as a means of education and being y'alls authentic self. It really helps me learn more not only about what other people go through but also gives me better language to be able to interrogate what I experience inside of my mind as well. Sending much love on this valentine's week
i wonder if the reason hosts cant see the inner world is because they’ve lived outside for so long so their reality is different
this is so interesting listening to! 💗
you guys explain everything so vivid and it‘s very easy to understand for someone who doesn‘t have any did experience!!
YAY NEW PIXIE UPLOAD!!! THIS IS PERFECT TIMING IM JUST ABOUT TO COOK & WAS LOOKING FOR A VID TO PUT ON ^_^ U GUYS R LOOKING SO CUTE IN THIS, I LOVE THE WAY YOUVE STYLED UR HAIR ✨✨✨
Eeeeeeeeee I am soooooo excited!! Got the notif as I am getting ready to go off for the first day back in my fashion design course 🥹🥹 this vid will be much needed when I come home and need to recover my lil autistic brain 💕
Also your hair looks gorgeous!!
Literally never seen anyone talk about aphantasia in the context of multiplicity before other than us. We do have an internal monologue, but we've never truly understood inner worlds, and we used to feel a lot of pressure about not having one. The reality is we just don't have one, and it really bites us when it comes to communication I think. It can be really hard to communicate for us already, but not being able to have a designated space to facilitate that makes it feel impossible sometimes. I actually think the more interesting way aphantasia affects us is actually in what alters look like? We have a lot of people who just use the faces of characters and people, who definitely aren't introjects, but just have no other way of conceptualising themselves, and it's not often that we meet plurals who understand this experience.
this is so fascinating to hear you explain, it sounds so helpful in organizing thoughts/feelings! and it's so cool that you can keep your child-aged alter(s?) from seeing traumatic memories they're not ready for!
First of all you have such an amazing energy about you (all of you) it is very helpful to see the ways in which you work with your neurodivergence, it’s a really rare thing to get this kind of insight, you’re such an interesting being, I feel like I can relax and accept myself the more I watch your channel 🎀
I love your hair oh my gosh 🥺🌸
I think maladaptive daydreaming is something I did a lot A LOT of a few years ago when I wasn't in as good of a situation mentally, so it's very interesting to hear how different they are !
This video is so interesting! I have super vivid inner monologue and visualisation and I definitely have moments of multiple voices etc. I'm still a singlet (that I know of, there's some weird stuff that makes me question it and my partner keeps saying I should look into that buuuttt that sounds very tiring right now lol)! I also don't really have just one inner world, I feel like I have a couple places I go to in my head, most often a house that kind of looks like a childhood home, so idk if that would even be considered an inner world haha. Also your hair is so so so cute like that!! 💛💖
i am a singlet, and i have strong inner visualization (the most detailed apple). i think i am somewhere in the middle of having or not having an inner monologue - i do not conceive of the monologue as a voice i hear, more just words i think, and i don't think it is always happening? thank you for giving us a peek into how your mind works! what an amazing mechanism the brain uses.
you always look amazing but i particularly love your hair today🤩🦋💖🦋 and always love your style🌞 you're such a ray of sunshine🌼i love it🌼
Ehehehe thank you!!! 🥰💗🌈💕
Your hair is so cute in this video omg!! that hairstyle is adorable
this is a really insightful video! thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself with us. as I singlet, I also have a loud internal dialogue, but it's more due to my autism! kinda narrating my daily chores and daily life (ie. I am sorting my book away, it is now stored on the bookshelf.) I hope that makes sense haha! great video as always 🌷🥰
THE THUMBNAIL IS SO CUTE AAAA~ I can't wait to hear about the PixieSystem's inner world!!
omg so excited for this video i love you guys :D❤️❤️
I love love love! Your hair and outfit in this vid ❤ the curls are so cute ^-^
This is an interesting discussion because a lot of people with DID I've noticed talk about their inner world as if it is a real place when really it's a metaphorical place/visualisation exercise. In PTSD therapy often therapists will guide the person to create a "safe space" internally so as to help cope with feelings of overwhelm and collapse, I imagine for a lot of DID people their Inner world grew out of that. This is what happened to me I had a "Safe Space" but it is only in the past year or so I started adding rooms and places for parts to meet and for different Parts to feel safe.
it helps to visualise feelings of safety and have some kind of meeting room where important information can be shared and discussed. Many Parts live in trauma time, and I have gained so much healing from doing visualisations where I move them from the past into a safe place in the inner world.
so excited to watch, i love u
Hey Pixie, thank you so much for making this video first of all. Second i want to say that i love seeing Flora around 🌸💕 and i also found it very interesting how you were talking about a headspace versus an inner world and we experience that as well! You were also talking about the way you front or close to front with the couch and others with the fronting orb etc and it’s sorta scary but i recently found out that our headspace is under our innerworld which is a set of islands in the void and that we access the front by falling into the void which leads to the headspace and that there are a few alter who can fly(ish) and that they are indeed alters who can choose to come help someone by being cocon or who can come and go willy nilly. All the love to you and the system 💕
We feel this so, so deep in our soul. Love that 20-30 minute "ope, guess i'm gonna have vertigo and trance out" feeling
First of all - LOVE the flippy hair!
Hehe thank you!!!
hey pixie, I’m a singlet and although I don’t think I have an inner “world” as much, but more inner “database/storeroom” of loads of things that are always yelling at me. Sometimes i have subsets of this and it can go from disturbing to more escapism. I have the loudest inner dialogue, which is probably the main trait I see in my ADHD, plus all the obsessive thoughts that won’t shut up and that sort of sits in the database too, so I’ll be visualising the inner dialogue as it’s speaking to me if that makes sense.
It’s also interesting being an artist/someone who does art too , i realise a lot of the art I make is to organise all of the inner database into certain chapters, so I’ll cling to creating characters in the process who can resemble my interests.
oh my gosh, this hair style?! so adorable the little ponytail i love❤
SHUT UP YALLS HAIR 💖💗💓💞
>:)))))) hehehehehhe 💕🌈💗🌸☘️🌤
Ty for sharing. I've always been curious about this. 💗
All my fellow BBC Sherlock fans definitely thinking about the "mind palace" 🤣
I feel like my alters fall flat like a doll that's no longer possessed when left totally dormant in the inner world. They can also be up and doing things in the inner world while not really fronting but I'm usually at least semi aware of them.
There's also some alters who are currently "busy" doing work on the inner world space and on the off occasion they front they have memories of doing stuff inside none of us had any concept was happening at all. All very weird!
Also hearing so much about how personal other people's space is made us all feel a little weird! Why are we trapped in bunk beds communial living style? We haven't had access to the outside space of the inner world in 4-5 years. Why? I don't know!
I LOVE the chunky heart necklace
Hehe thank you!!! My friend sent it to me as a surprise once they said it’s actually a curtain tie thing lol
ever since your post yesterday I've been so excited for this!! yay pixie system!!
Hehe yaaaay omg that makes us so happy!!!
@@Pixielocks I'm so glad!!! :D
As a singlet with aphantasia (the inability to create mental imagery), this is so wild to hear about! Thank you so much for sharing your lived experiences with us ♥️
I've got ADD, and I think CPTSD, I'm creative, full of ideas and often hear music in my head. But creating images in my head, even for daydreaming, is foreign for me. I have sight, so I don't know if it's actually similar or a crude comparison, but it feels like I'm being described color without vision. I wonder if it's how assumed cis, agender people feel when I try to share my experience with gender identity as a trans person. Dunn
A good friend of mine have so many of the same traits, but has hyperphantasia, and I love hearing him talk about it. It's so interesting!
Very similar experience here!
This hairstyle is so cute I cry 🥺💗
I’m a singlet and have basically no inner visualization and a very limited internal monologue.
Wowwww omg I wish we could trade brains for 5 minutes just to experience that 👁👁💕
I feel like everyone has their own "internal world" within their experience of external reality, and many people have paracosms (detailed, imaginary worlds). Writers, artists, dreamers. I absolutely do. I'm much more attuned to my internal world than the external one. I live in my head. Of course, acknowledging that the experience you're describing is more specific.
yeah it's slightly different for systems, you basically have permanent roommates in your inner world you can't just imagine out of existence lol 😅
@@weewooweewoo906 i feel ya. i don't have d.i.d., just imaginary friends that i write into literary existence and such
"maladaptive daydreaming" could apply, though
Do parts have their own inner world inside the inner world, like in order to manage their own minds interacting within the inner world? ohhh I love that I could tell it was Jerrick when he started talking, he and Flora have such contrasting presences. omg Uncle Cliff in the attic, so iconic
In my system different parts don’t necessarily have their own inner world, we all share one, but all parts have their own space or “house” or area that they can do whatever they want with and express themselves but we can all for the most part access the other parts’ spaces. I hope that makes sense 😁
love the hair Flora !!
Was good to see Flora and Jerr front together after seeing Jerrick talk about how they’re co con more than usual lately! What an unlikely but brilliant duo
I'm a single, but I still refer to myself as we. I think my imagination vividness varies between 3 and 4. Oh, and about the putting bad thoughts in a recycle box, I have anxiety and taught myself to do something similar. I take the intrusive thoughts, visualize them as business documents (a la spongebob), and imagine either tossing them out a window or setting them on fire. It helps! It keeps my brain from just playing that thought on repeat the way it wants to.
Love the thumbnail :)
As a person with aphantasia this is so interesting to me. I do have a very busy inner monologue tho but thats probably because of my ADD ;p
15:26 i find this is so intriguing to hear about. The only time I experience visualization like that is when I do psychedelics. My mother on the other hand, who has been diagnosed with CPTSD at an older age, describes her visualization as very very vivid, and even tho she is singular, she's described her inner world to me on multiple occasions.
And while its all fascinating to hear about and everything, its makes me incredibly sad knowing that its trauma at the root of it. A bit of grim irony 😕
A lot of people with DID (and Otherkin communities, which have a ton of overlap) have aphantasia! I know quite a few. They can communicate with headmates but don’t usually have an innerworld. At least the people I know.
Autistic singlet who dissociates with anxiety here - there is a thinking space in my head. It is not a physical place, and it's been there less since I got long covid, like the brain fog obscures it. I used to be able to dip in basically anytime, except during meltdowns/sensorary overload. This is a big contrast to panic attacks/shutdowns where the thinking space could get really vocal. Today, someone asked me a question, and I can't even remember what it was, but I just had to nope out of answering because I couldn't find anything in my head. When I ried to think, it was like my entire being disapeared. I was accustomed to finding static if I was overwhelmed, a sort of buzzing sensation in my head. This isn't the same thing. It's like it's not there sometimes. I do find it unnerving, but what can you do? Gotta get on with my life.
My headmates and I are an autistic endogenic system. The gang were formed from trauma to fulfill different roles and share the burden of our intense emotions. Weve been told we might fit into traumagenic but considering how severely traumatised DID and OSDD systems are, we dont feel comfortable using that term. It made it easier for our host Ruby to mask. We only just discovered our plurality a month ago and we're so lucky it's been a mostly positive and liberaring experience.
Our eldest little (8) is helping to shape and map out/update the map of the inner world. Ours is so big, like closer to a county or shire than anything else.
We're working on getting a diagnosis but we've been told by mental health professionals that it's not uncommon for autistic people to split off different parts of themselves to cope with trauma.
Hope you all are having a lovely day ❤
It was a ton of fun talking to you over on Twitter about this! (Battery City 🤝)
our innerworld changed at least 3 times, both appearance and size with fusions, it was interesting. our alters were also never really that active in it, they just kinda vibe when not interacting with front, we also dont really dream about it (unless it was something else before it was the 'blue room')... now i want soup. its always so hecking interesting to hear about everyones innerworld journeys.
I have a question about co-consciousness and amnesia stuff! Since Flora mentioned that she only knew her own experiences with the inner world and kind of Jill's since they were co-con, would Flora retain that knowledge afterwards? So just in general, when two parts are co-con, do they learn information about each other's memories, or is that really just temporary knowledge that goes away when they are no longer co-conscious?
hello this is such a joy thanm you for the video
I'm a singlet, with a constant internal monologue. I have aphantasia and I was so upset when I found out other people could actually see things in their mind :( I feel like I've been robbed :((
ive had echolalia of the phrase "The Fronting Orb" since watching this video god help me (real fascinating shit though!!!! ive always been curious abt how this sorta thing works, thank u for the splendid content)
Aphantasia person here, just see absolutely nothing. Feels like I have 2 inner voices that say 'we', one is very mean lol.
Was blown away when I found out other people can actually see stuff in their head, figured out that is probably the reason why I dislike reading books and prefer TV/movies.
Can't watch right now but I just wanted to day that I loveee the polly pocket thumbnail😄😄
It’s interesting that you mentioned other neurodivergent folks possibly having some form of inner world! My therapist had me come up with a safe space for me to imagine when I’m having an anxiety attack or even just getting overwhelmed. And it sounds like some other people also had therapists coach them on this? I wonder how similar one of these coached safe spaces are to inner worlds of those with multiplicity? :0
Amazing video! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us
I feel safe here and you make me want to share too. Honestly, you'd make a great therapist or councelor. I don't know names for any of it, or really have anything to compare to, but I day dream so much that it's just part of me, it's not separate from reality, just a slightly dissociated version in my head, where my life is better, I pretend I'm still loved and happy. I don't have multiple identities, since everything is ME all at the same time, but I have a huge inner 5 year old ( I think it may be one reason I am so sensitive, love so much, hurt so much and don't understand how people can be mean or hurt eachother) and I've always wanted to be a "50's housewife" and have a house that's like a time warp - that's just me. My brain's way of coping when things get unbearable is, it dreams of designs and ideas to craft. Is it possible to dissociate without multiple identities ? (cause that feels like what I do) I have been seeing therapists for 5+ years and it's been pretty useless for the most part.
bro i wish i had better mental visualization i wish i could have a mental safe space day dream when i need it
If one is the clearest, I'm probably somewhere between a 2 and a 3! Very interesting video!!
I can't create mental pictures, I'm literally an artist and thought exercises where you visualize things were metaphorical lolll, but I do have a strong internal monologue. Thoughts are just more like internal conversations I guess? I wonder if decorating a dollhouse so each alter's room is visually decorated would help since my mental picture game is so weak lollll
I’m a singlet and I think in we or you! I do kinda talk to myself in three distinct “parts” of myself but they are all very flat/shallow and definitely not their own people. Its sorta like the sad/scared emotions, the angry/self deprecating emotions, and a caretaker of sorts? But they all feel like me!
i want to add a diversity of experience i know from system friends of mine! jill and co. mention that their alters personally don't have memories of their inner world throughout the day such as jar not "literally" working his day job. But i thought it would be helpful to add here that often alters *do* have very vivid and real memories of each and every day in the inner world. including big life altering events and the simple mundanity of every day life. the brain is so rich with coping strategies that alters and can live full lives internally, day to day, that are as real as outer world experiences and should be treated and respected as such. These lives and experiences are internal and psychologically created, rather than external and created by external reality, but they impact a person exactly how a singlets memories of the outer world impact a person, so they should be understood as equally real and important.
my personal experience with DDNOS is that i didn't have an inner world until creating it in therapy! it was cool to hear that experience shouted out in this video! :) especially because it can sometimes be a source of imposter syndrome for my shame parts. thanks guys!
also thank you to folks with MADD (maladaptive daydreaming) for correcting the misinformation here about it! to summarize, MADD isn't chosen, its a form of severe dissociation, a coping mechanism that typically develops very young, sometimes the daydreaming is compulsive and cant be controlled, sometimes the stories are terrifying, heartbreaking or distressing, and the quantity of time and severity of daydreaming is usually destructive to a persons life (hence: maladaptive)
Almost all of our dreams take place in our inner world. We have stores that are laid out the same way every time but change up items and layouts every once in a while kind of like how real stores do that.
Most of us also have jobs in the inner world. At the stores and such :).
for us the alters do have their own lives in the inner world when they are not fronting but time works very differently there. i think how active they are/ how quickly time passes really depends on how much they are processing in there
we just binge watched all your content on did and doing so uprooted a lot of things that were dormant in the headspace. we've known we're plural for a while, but are kind of worried about seeking therapy due to systemic discrimination against people with dissociative disorders, especially since we want to have kids and the system as a whole is not cisgender, which is already scary since we live in the united states. its also really difficult to find therapists where we live since there are not many in our state and we haven't found any that specialize in dissociative disorders. thank you for sharing your journey. some of used to watch your videos for the queer and alt vibes even though none of us really share the pastel/cute aesthetic. and have been for a long time, so seeing you go through this journey as well has made me feel a lot less alone! we have multiple partners that are plural but we havent really talked with them much about this kind of thing.
You're not plural, kid, you just have an overactive imagination
Thank you for sharing Pixie! Your inner world seems amazing. I am glad you and the Pixie system have a beautiful place to be. 💞
ur hair!!! 😭😭❤️❤️
I'm sorry but Jerr being snarky about talking about DID making you switchy made me giggle. This was such a fun and educational video !! I'm a singlet but have hyper imagination and a very defined "mind palace"/inner world!
Hello tis I the orb person and dw a lot of people think it's cool!! (The consistency is kinda like jello if that makes it better) It helps us from having too many people being co-con and overwhelm us. Kinda like having a specific 'talking turn' item during share circles and stuff.
hi pixie, i'm grotesqueflower (i used to comment a lot before on that account hehe) i changed to this one, i just wanna say, i love watching you! and i see you're getting to know yourselves and more comfortable and it makes me sooo happy, i wish u the best
This was very interesting and cool! I've only recently gotten an idea of what our inner world looks like from one of my alters (I, the host & core, don't really know how to access it), so it was cool to hear about other experiences with that! All my alters are fictives (except me) and my fictive who's based on Wally Darling, who is apparently a sort of manager for the inner world I recently learned, told me that everyone has houses in a similar formation as how the houses in his world are and that the inside of everyone's houses sort of teleport you to a piece of their realm/universe that the characters belong in. The interiors are remixed versions of their source material though. For example, my fictive of Snatcher (A Hat in Time) lives in a mansion instead of his little hollowed out tree or the little cottage we see in the DLC, but he's still in Subcon Forest. Or Sundrop and Moondrop live in an accurate daycare but their rooms are fixed up, cleaned, and personalized. Also, apparently my house fluctuates in appearance because I'm indecisive lol. (So true tho I could never pick just one design for a dream house lol)
I'm glad to see that other hosts struggle to see into their inner world too. I thought I might've been alone in that!
The thumbnail slaps 🎀
I have afantasa and I found it baffling that people could actually see a lot of stuff in their mind
im a part of a questioning osdd system and its been very difficult to navigate we all have aphantasia (we cant see the apple btw) since it affects our brain and we dont have an innerworl at all we also have never been able to hear a single voice or "inner monologue" we are STRUGGLING but watching ur systems videos has helped with our doubts so thank you so much!!
I don't have DID, but I have what I call a dreamscape where there are representations of where I have been regularly in real life (like the home I grew up in, homes of relatives, places I visit a lot now and in the past, and places where I've studied at.) They are the places that they are supposed to be, but different - distorted. One of those places was my great aunt's flat who passed away when I was 14 and there was a time where I visited her a lot to tell her what was happening in my life - it was like she was still alive and I was happy in those dreams until at some point in them I was reminded that she wasn't. I don't always like these dreams that occur in the dreamscape because they usually feature something that I've lost or wish I could do now but can't, or are sometimes about loosing what I currently have.
Hello! I've been watching your streams for a bit and I love that you're able to share these parts of yourself! About the apple: I clearly see whatever kind of apple if asked (red delicious, granny smith, macintosh..). I'm a visual artist and I am schizoaffective (it's like the best parts of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in one happy pot!). I don't know if there are other parts of me in here. I do know, however, when I think of my past experiences, it feels like those memories belong to an entirely unfamiliar "me". Like I'm looking back on someone else's memories. Does that make sense?
I don't have DID but I do have aphantasia, I cannot visualise at all, nor do I have an inner monologue that I can HEAR..? It's more like... text? I guess the easiest way I can describe it is it's like a speech bubble that I can read, but without seeing or hearing anything? That makes literally no sense but it's hard to explain. My thoughts are like text that I'm aware of. My aphantasia is so severe that I cannot picture what someone looks like unless I am looking directly at them. My dreams are fully visual and in colour, but I cannot see them in my head when I wake up, I can just remember the plot of them, I guess. I can also get songs stuck in my head that I can hear, but I cannot make myself hear anything else internally.
As a singlet with trauma and a p segmented sense of self (I'm trans lol, & I stopped being a girl when I was only 15, so there's been SEVERAL different "versions" of me, yknow?), I find DID mechanisms fascinating! While far less literal to me, it really helps to consider the person who came out of different times in my life as different individuals/elements of my personality, and treat them very kindly. There's lots of overlap & confusion & contradictions between the stuff they each learned from their experiences, so it's nice to borrow DID conceptualisation to help facilitate a sort of peace & unity between them, & help me see myself as one singular product of a complete life experience
Oh hi we're a DID system with hypophantasia/very little visualization and we have an inner world but struggle to visualize and access it. +Whether we have an inner monologue or not depends on alter, some of us very much think in full complete sentences like a conversation whereas some of us think without words, more in vague notions or concepts. It can make internal communication difficult cos we have such different thinking styles!
@serendipity Omg hey 🤝🤝 similar brains :-)
I'm a singlet and have a slightly blurry inner visualisation when I'm trying to look at something, but I also experience incredibly vivid imagery when I'm really tired or stressed and I close my eyes - it can be pleasant, horrible, or neutral, but it warps and morphs and isn't really under my control. It started when I was coming off some antidepressants and has never gone away
I tried but our meeting place is just an empty grey space; but some of us are speaking up more lately and the big grey box is starting to make some of us sad. Did I really think that what we deserved when we “met”? (We as in my system)
I love that your alters are feeling more confident cofronting in videos!!! I'm so proud of them :)
my system's inner world so far has just been a vague forest (most of my headmates are nonhuman) and despite having MADD myself, I feel like I haven't done much to expand the inner world so maybe I should! it could help with communication and it's just fun.
thank you so so much guys, we are a newly discovered system and this was such a helpful video !! I love the pixie system :) your videos about your system are always so helpful to us and make us feel safe and comfortable, we are very grateful 😭💗💗
also also !! we have a very clear visualisation :D our inner monologue iss pretty clear too
You can have visualisation as vivid as real life? I know it’s possible but it’s hard to imagine when my dreams (and any other brain visuals lol) are like faded memories. Love you Pixie for sharing all of this with us it’s so brave to do that on the internet
Im a singlet and i cant visualize anything so it always interests me to hear about other peoples experiences. I have sometimes some kind of visualization when i dream but i cant grasp it. My thinking is very much an internal monologue but i know its not someone talking i very much know its my head. Like when i read. So i cant say its loud or quiet
I'm kinda multiple but Im not diagnosed or anything and had a BIG fight with an alter when I was like 19 (?) and since then Ive only been able to access the main fronting room,,, its more like a large circular podium with the eyes being like,,, the control center ??? maybe a bit like inside out but more,, big brother ? like the large couches and rugs and gold furnishings,, and then it's surrounded by doors that come and go, some like in the direct middle of the wall but I cant open them !! Never meditated tho so maybe I could with the help of a therapist
I’m a singlet and I have zero apple going on up there haha. It’s incredibly frustrating, I’ll be honest.
Anyway, thanks as always for the lovely video ❤
8:19 I did something a little similar for a while as a coping mechanism. I am in therapy and was in therapy at the time, but I came up with the coping mechanism on my own. Whenever a bad or intrusive thought entered my mind, I would visualize it as a piece of paper and then imagine that my inner self or inner workings threw it out of my head. It worked for a while, but it lost its usefulness with time and the thought would instantly return. I now just kind of internally scream "no" at myself and try to change the topic, but even that doesn't always work.