I think the bigger problem is getting the other kids to be more welcoming and understanding of the kids that are different. Yes Aspies have quirks but they tend isolate themselves because they get negative feedback from peers. It's easier to be with adults or alone than to face constant rejection because they are a little different
I also really like having friends, but I LOVE spending a lot of time alone. I'm not depressed or whatever, I just truly don't mind/actually enjoy doing my own thing. As a kid, I really liked to spend a Saturday afternoon reading quietly in my room. It was my ideal activity. I got plenty of social interaction at school/sports/camps, and needed plenty of time to recover from all that and process it. My parents understanding that need is at least 50% of why I turned out so well.
I completely agree Danielle. There has to be more awareness and better understanding. I have a few friends with autism and I appreciate their quirks and respect their alone time. Depending on where they are on the spectrum, of course. For example, I have a friend on who I have to initiate contact with but once we connect, he can freely talk about his interests as well as listen to my interests. I have another friend I meet for coffee and when we talk, it’s completely interest related on his part.
Exactly, I sometimes wonder if we are the way we are because of the way our brains are wired or because of successive hurtful interactions with people. Perhaps a bit of both.
Nobody seems to mention, that children without autism can be extremely mean to others. Has anyone considered that solitary behaviour may be a protective mechanism? If you are clumsy and uncoordinated as either a girl or a boy, you will not be welcome in games. If you don't want to gossip about other people and aren't interested in fashion and make-up, you will not be welcome in girl circles.
I always had this issue with both being bad at sports and also incredibly uninterested in ppls crap talk or talking about what boy they liked, i could always care less. I just lost my one “friend” ive had for over 20 yrs bc I can no longer handle her obsession with her love and sex life and its all she wants to talk to me about, and she will no longer be my friend bc I told her I just do not care at all about any of that information and I do not want to hear about it. Shes obv not a friend, i have had a lot of ppl just vampire off of me bc i am not able to figure out ‘real friends’. My drs will not diagnose me i have been trying for 5 years and they will not even refer me out to a dr bc I am too high functioning and i mask well (15yrs of acting classes).... my therapist wont believe me and the pill dr she tried to get me to see said he ‘doesn’t buy’ female ASD even exists..... his name is dr Maxwell from MA, working through Fairwinds, if anyone would like to professionally educate him.
@@JustinaJayne I'm the same way. I was average at sports though I'd say. But lucky for me I unwittingly made friends with another autistic girl. (I am nonbinary but assigned female at birth.) I didn't know I was autistic at the time, that was middle school. I didn't even notice there was anything different about her. I didn't notice anything until my mom told me she was autistic years later after she came for a sleepover at our house. We are best friends and there is also another girl who knew her before I did, they were best friends before I knew either of them. Now all three of us are best friends and have been for years. Sometimes I wonder if there was any subconscious reason I became friends with them specifically. It felt random. We kind of just happened to sit at the same lunch table but we got along really well and still do.
She does not seem to understand how difficult and exhausting socialising is to autistic children, forcing autistic girls to take part in more JE would make things worse, they take breaks because socialising is hard work.
Right? Having to like observe, like trying to read their facial expressions and body language. Paying attention to all kinds of details to try and figure out and keep up with the situation, conversation, feelings, intentions, or person. And can be so many things doing at once and constantly. Do they want to go but you keep talking and they're too polite to say so. Is what they said or did being legit rude or mean, or you're just being too sensitive or took it the wrong way. Maybe wasn't serious but sarcasm or joke. And then you're also paying super attention and thoughts on what you say and how you do, and present yourself. Or how you look in that you like try keeping eye contact. Your body language not looking rude, awkward, nervous anxiety like etc. Like arms crossed or fidgeting. Needing to be aware and reading the room so constantly thoroughly examine social interactions is exhausting especially with new people you don't have a better read of from experience and relationship. It also takes a toll mentally and emotionally. And so many not with it are introverts who need time alone to charge up, should they be forced too
Why would you want the AD girls to spend more Time in JE. It is probably already highly demanding for them. Maybe they need their alone time to recharg, for their sanity and simply to be happy. Making them spend more time with their peers is just another way to make them fit into certain social standards that are not theirs.
I agree! As an Autistic adult, I have to monitor the energy I spend during social interactions (spent on reading emotions, keeping track of a conversation, maintaining awareness of my mannerisms) and punctuate these (certainly enjoyable) periods of effort with more quiet and contemplative moments from which I can gather more energy to engage in what I hope will be another mutually beneficial and natural feeling interaction. I can handle large chunks of social time if they can be punctuated with large chunks of alone time. It would make sense that a child would need frequent shifts between the two. After all, they do not yet have the years of trial and error under their belts that allows me and other adults on the spectrum to converse at a pace that neurotypical adults are used to and with the brevity they require.
100% agree with you!!!! The whole time I watched this I was thinking that if they were to actually talk to those with ASD about possible solutions and and beneficial services they story would be different, if there had been a quiet room to go to during recess where you could just go about your business without anyone bothering you that would be ideal for a kid with ASD they want and need alone time to restore themselves and it will be that way for the rest of their lives! In this world based on extroverted preferences there needs to be just as much acceptance of introverted behaviors !! Alone time doesn't = bad or depression especially in the case of ASD!!!
I agree. I think the first step in helping kids with social difficulties is to say “it’s ok! Socialising can be stressful so have a rest and rejoin when and if you want to”. As a kid I always wanted to fit in and look normal. Boy was it exhausting! So with my son I’ve always told him that if he wants to wander around alone and think, that is perfectly fine. Self acceptance is key.
I was wondering about this. My 5 year old daughter has been recently diagnosed. She thoroughly enjoys her own company at the school yard and at home. At home, she let's us know she wants to be alone and if she needs help she will shout at me to assist her! At school I think she is viewed as a bit strange. I can tell you that as her mum, it can be hard to watch her walk around by herself. I get why people want these girls to participate more, but I think it's a selfish thing. I would love my wee one to be more involved, but it's because in my mind that what should make her happy. But it doesn't! Since her diagnosis I've been trying to observe her more closely, I think she is perfectly happy on her own! She will interact when she chooses too and she's and ways accepted! She has 2 lovely wee friends who have worked very hard to be noticed by my girl! That's enough for her, when she runs off away to be alone, they run off to play something else! The people that want to push social interaction mean well, I understand the instinct to want your child to have many friends. But we have to think about what the child's needs are! I think about it like humans are Sims, from the game! My daughters "social bar" fills more quickly than others!
I have to agree with all the other comments here. The findings of the study seem sound, but the conclusions and aims stated at the end sent a shiver down my spine as a woman with ASD. I spent so much time as a child forcing myself into the 'joint-engaged' scenarios but AT BEST that meant silently suffering through discomfort and boredom. I had sufficient (masking) social skills to build a group of friends and not be an outcast, but internally I could barely tolerate much time in their presence despite thinking they were 'nice enough kids'. With no language to describe this and no external recognition, my internal experience was not only incredibly isolated, but also with an alienating sense of unreality. The only times I actually enjoyed were solitary or with adults, and the only reason I didn't spend all of my time alone was social pressure and my internal desire to fit in and utilise the power of social connections. As I got older this became more and more difficult to tolerate and I would 'hide' from my friends in the library or simply alone in a corridor as often as I could. By mid teens I had become so depleted that I had a breakdown and point blank refused to see any of my friends again. They were no doubt very hurt and confused by this, as on the surface I was reasonably popular and well-liked (largely due to my 'mentor' or 'therapist' role in the group). 10 years after leaving school I am still in therapy for severe c-PTSD, in large part caused by my experiences of the school system. Looking back I desperately wish I had been given the opportunity to move into some kind of alternative education which allowed me to socialise and learn with older people. I was also enormously academically advanced and spent all of school stultifyingly bored, so this would have worked well in every aspect. If, as this speaker suggests, I had been pressured into spending even more time with my peers, I can only imagine this would have increased my misery and distorted sense of self (a factor in c-PTSD), pushing me to the point of breakdown even earlier in life.
There was a program that they had us watch at school when I was very young a few times. I think it was called, Free to be, you and me. I wonder why they don't practice what they preach! I hated school then and I hate school now at 51. I learned more on my own reading books I chose and observing through my senses than the teachers ever taught me. And how can you learn in a class-room setting anyway, when IT IS boring, and you are being forced against your will to sit still, stay quiet and listen for long stretches of time to a person you didn't choose to learn from?
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
This was me. I used to sit with a couple of other girls, but never quite understood what was going on. Maybe that was why I also spent quite a bit of time just wandering. By high school this got so bad that for a couple of years I spent less that half of my days at school. I used to just sit in parks and wait for the day to be over so I could go home. I ended up dropping out of school at 14, despite being smart (I am now completing a PhD - better late than never). Not being diagnosed has made my life a train-wreck. Bad marriages (it is so hard to spot people with bad intent), a lack of friends (no-one to point out just how bad my decisions were), and a whole heap of self-medicating. Finally, 2 years ago, at 46 I was diagnosed. Such a lightbulb moment - finally it all made sense. More recently, early onset bipolar was also identified. Sure, the times were different when I was growing up - I am not sure that I would have even qualified for a diagnosis under the criteria at that time. But, I am sure that if assessed, it would have been noted that something was wrong. For that to happen though, I would have had to have told someone what was going on. But I couldn't connect - I couldn't mimic behaviors I had never seen. I am so glad that it is finally being noticed that girls do autism differently. I hope that others don't have to endure the train-wreck.
I endured the train wreck. Barely. Just figured it all out at 42. Better late than never. Been sober a year. Zero social life, but oh well. Alive and relieved to know the truth.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
I still have extreme difficulty joining a group or conversations. I'm labeled shy, snob, aloof, awkward because I prefer to be alone not bother with socialization.
add boring to that list and that's how ppl describe me. i don't know if i have aspergers or if i'm just an introvert. cause i wasn't like this at all before i got bullied. idk . i just have a lot of traits of aspergers plus my sister has autism
I am again and again astounded by how many professionals that still meet "I'm not really interested in that" (= social group) with "of course you do! It's human instinct to be driven by this".
I used to roam around at recess near the edges of the fences or up on the hill pretending I was a lost child in nature and had to fend for myself, stuck in a 45m day dream 5 days a week to escape. It's what kept me going to school everyday.
I did that too! I loved it :-) it made the world a bit more bearable, along with reading. I used to argue with teachers that they were wasting my time given that I had no interest or ability in art and could use the time to read instead. I was 8 and couldn't understand why they thought that was rude to say. To me it was just fact and not me trying to question their authority.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
Is increasing social engagement really the answer? Perhaps supporting self-understanding and self-acceptance of ones needs - would be even more beneficial ...
I needed help as a child to see any of my own positive traits. I knew it was a relief to get away from bullies at school. ( I grew up before the internet became a popular public domain.)
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
@@joycebrewer4150 My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
Impossible for me. Everyone wanted to play on the swings. EVERYONE. It's was a battle to get there at the start of recess and grouos of friends worked together to hog them. There was a 2 minute limit for each kid.
Brittany Caron, The Sandbox was my domain (much to the repeated ire of my mother) and I later moved on to patroling the playground while chatting with my ONE friend. Not to bad if I'm being honest. The other kids were rude anyway and it kept Mom from turning into a MOMster.
Joanne Manelli yes. I blame the likes of Simon Baron Cohen and a media that loves to present the typical image of a savant male (sheldon cooper, rainman etc). I’m glad the issue is getting more recognition now.
Very interesting video. This makes sense. Games have a starting point, where kids decide who’s playing and who’s not, so the exclusion of ASD boys is explicit and obvious to see. Girls “flit” around the edges trying to fit in but never fully understanding how the other girls find it so easy to interact.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
So the control group was selected specifically because of their proactive social skills. Therefore you are comparing those with autism to the most developed of the neurotypicals that skews the results.
I agree. At the same time, I think they picked those children because they were warm and would be willing to engage with autistic children and not be put off by their difference.
I NEED space or I get really exhausted and irritable. Forcing them to socialize longer than they want will just cause stress & tension between relationships.
First, I want to point out that without this research, I wouldn't have been able to tell you what your next steps should ACTUALLY be. So thank you for the research, thank you for sharing so much about you study design/research methods so I didn't feel the need to look these things up to fact check. But then you went and made conclusions/theorized, you missed AN INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT PART: You need to take your gathered data, and you need to find successful and articulate female young adults/adolescents (i.e. who still remember early school years and whose early school years are recent enough to be most relevant) with high-functioning autism, preferably those of us with IQs a few standard deviations above the mean (yeah, I'm one of them, I'd love to answer any questions or have almost any academic conversation that you'd like), and you need to ASK THEM WHY THEY THINK THE AUTISTIC GIRLS MIGHT BE ACTING THAT WAY. The one conclusion I think has merit that you briefly touched upon: - Most successful aspies mask our symptoms really well, but you observed kids in the early childhood years when we were still making a bunch of faux pas and trying to figure things out. - Most successful aspies in adult life also have a few close friends/confidants who hugely respect their knowledge base and skill sets, or their character, whatever. You need a neurotypical peer who is a true best friend or Ally, who has great social skills and compensates and speaks well about you, even in your absence. I've had several throughout my life, but when I don't have a peer who understands me and can explain my oddities (i.e. occasional accidental saying super mean things without realizing how they sound, melting down from sensory overload) to my co-workers or other students, but still be like 'but she's super nice and will always fix your computers and help if you need it so don't be a dick, she's actually really funny' Key assumptions I think will be proved hugely erroneous in time: 1. Telling adults to have NT peers help the autistic kids without an explicit framework for how to do it....probably intended to be a positive thing but you probably did a lot of harm by posting that on youtube. Well-meaning teachers will take kids doing everything they can to fit in, out them as autistic, and therefore weird. You should tell them that it's important for an autistic person to have a true best friend, but that obviously forcing children to be friends isn't going to lead to anything but mean girls being mean girls. You need to educate young children about autism, and autism in females especially. When you're talking about diversity and racism and differences. Not in health class like this is some kind of medical problem. I mostly love my autism, and I feel much more mentally healthy to have found a career that is challenging, fulfilling, and well-suited to me as a person, for the most part. I provide a different and valuable perspective. 2. Which leads me to, we DO NOT need to be teaching these girls how to fit in. A little louder for the kids in the back: WE ALREADY DISGUISE OUR BEHAVIOR SO WELL NO ONE THINKS WE ARE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING AUTISTIC. YOU ONLY OBSERVED THE LEARNING PROCESS BUT DIDN'T ACCOUNT FOR THE FACT THAT WE ALREADY SOLVED THE PROBLEM, FOR THE MOST PART. JUST GET THE OTHER KIDS TO BE KINDER, MORE TOLERANT, HUMAN BEINGS. 3. As we learn more about this issue, the benefits of this study were there, but the entire community is full of neurotypical researchers. THERE ARE PLENTY OF AUTISTIC GENIUSES IN THE RESEARCH AND MEDICAL COMMUNITIES. YOU HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER. Please take this away: - If you're going to diagnose us young, please do it right. Teaching girls how to fit in is something a friend will do. Make sure they have a true friend. Don't force it. - If you're doing research and drawing conclusions from behavior of autistic people, at least let the autistic community brainstorm with you for a few moments before you develop a theory. We've been 'making a path while you motherfuckers drive straight' as Lil Dicky says in his song Professional Rapper. You'll never get your brain there. I've been studying the NT brain to fit in for nearly 30 years, and I still don't understand all your motivations and why you do the things you do. Don't think you can come to the game this late and know how ours are wired, it's like the English vs. Metric system. - Give the school age kids, from K-12 at a MINIMUM, the opportunity to go to the nurse's office or a fairly private, quiet, dark, calm, and SOLITARY (or as close to that as is safe for a child) to go during times of sensory overload, meltdown, or just generally not being able to cope with the classroom. If they overuse it, they can see the school guidance counselor and talk about why, and what's going on. I had so many psychosomatic stomach aches/migraines in school because it was a viable excuse to go lie down in a private quiet dark room for 30 minutes and not be bothered, my pediatrician wanted me to see a surgeon for an exploratory lap to find out why I was having so much abdominal pain. Luckily my parents knew I needed a fucking break. - I learned to fit in by watching a totally 'unhealthy' amount of TV. Boy Meets World, taught me classroom behavior, 7th Heaven and Growing Pains taught me homefront behavior, Veronica Mars taught me everything I needed to know about high school, and I got all pop culture jokes in high school from the Daily Show, which other kids weren't allowed to stay up and watch on school nights. College was solid Chelsea Handler, and starting a career in the hospital was Scrubs, House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc. Steer kids to TV content that's just every day situations they encounter. Steer them to TV content with children who display typical behavior for children of their age group, not extreme acting out. Make sure they see how kids their age are supposed to act at any age, and in a multitude of situations (class, home, work, with friends (supervised), with friends (unsupervised). Allow kids to ask questions about what they see on TV, and explain social dynamics they don't understand, sure. It will help whoever is answering those questions know how to understand the autistic mind, too, just by which questions come up. And as I steer you toward data collection, I hope you know enough not to ask any autistic person a closed ended or multiple choice question without at LEAST asking why they chose that answer, or what they would write in if they had the chance. Again, You don't know what questions to ask yet. I'd be happy to help.
OMG yes! All of this! I'm so glad you took the time to write such a thorough response. Autistics voicing the qualitative nature of their experiences should be the number one way we learn about autism. We are NOT puzzle pieces. "Nothing about us without us!"
Hmmm.... ☺️ 😇🌿🙏♥️ I was reading your commentary while the episode was playing. So i did NOT HEAR WHAT SHE SAID, pretty much. nor do i feel i need to hear her. Your insight is in the bull’s eye. It feels so right. And it makes sense 100%. This video was posted 5 years ago. Hopefully, NOW these researchers understand the shortcomings of their work. The whole subject of Aspergers is quite fascinating. And recognizing Aspies as normal minority would make for a better, kinder, SMARTER society. It is the majority, the “NT” majority, that also needs education about how to be with people who are not like them only in SOME respects. Only some but very important respects. Thank you 👍
As a 25-year-old, struggling to be diagnosed with ASD, this video is incredibly helpful. I was a really normal kid until about grade 5, when I receded into a shell and didn't leave it until well after high school. It's incredibly difficult to be taken seriously, I once had a psychiatrist tell me that I can't be autistic because I don't act like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
As a child i remember spending quite a bit of my time alone on the playground, however i do remember some days i would join a group of boys who would dig below the sand to the tougher dirt, in order to construct little tunnels and ledges to build epic little 'cities'. I find it interesting because the activity wasn't really a sports game, instead it was an act of creativity. In fact, when i was getting tested for autism i was outright told by the doctor that 'autistic people really aren't creative' despite the fact that i know multiple people on the spectrum who are very highly creative. I know im rambling but my point is that i think social behavior amongst boys and girls {including those on the spectrum} is a bit more complex than given credit for in this study. otherwise, i am glad that studies like this are being done to at least show how differently autism can be expressed in girls as opposed to boys because of expectations of how we are 'supposed to' behave. I think oftentimes there is an incredible pressure on girls to be more social and males to be more active.
I recall spending recesses at grade school, sitting in a deep concrete window well to the basement of my school. I would look for pebbles of fine sedimentary clay, then use them on the sides of window well as if they were chalk. Most of what I found were a reddish color. The janitor finally told me that was real hard to wash off. I told him I didn't think there were any more chalk pebbles in the playground. I'd looked hard.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free .......
I would wander off because I was bored or tired. I only hung out with people in high school because I was afraid of being targeted and harassed if I was always seen alone. I would often completely clock out of the conversation and I almost never formed close connections with the people in the group.
Bullying is a huge part of socializing that nobody seems to recognize even the teachers ignore it....I was abused by girls and older boys ..in classroom and at recess.....I was beat up by older boys...the girls were hateful and cruel......the teacher forced me to report them to the principal and I got beat up and yelled at on the bus ride home....I was forced to stay in at recess. The other kids weren't the problem...it was me a tiny frail skinny blonde haired blue eyed girl...who was too shy to speak....or in my case Autistic....to this day I hate making girlfriends and guys aren't necessarily a great thing either...both call me weird...crazy...hurtful names..still years and years later.....I think I'm definetly on another page....but I know I'm not crazy or anything they say....but I see they are less then me....as I wouldn't treat people that way .....I think this doctor likes pulling people apart but cannot understand still how Autistic people work....they just dont get this....its frusterating......Also...you can read this off a piece of paper...but usually nothing ever happens in the schools themselves....its like ...I'm giving a speech.....clap clap clap....thank you ...see me everybody....then nothing....its all show and tell....the person with autism is looked at like a freak and the bullying continues...
I so completely identify with this I was bullied mercilessly at school, and hated school because of it. I couldn’t understand why they would be so mean. I didn’t understand why I didn’t fit in. I am 53 now and have never been diagnosed. I had never even heard of Asperger’s syndrome until the pastor at my church suggested that my teenage son had it who also had not been diagnosed although he did go to a special school for a learning disability. When I looked it up , I recognised a lot of the traits in myself. I am researching it now because my 7 year old granddaughter is struggling and I think she may have it and if she can get a diagnosis it may make a lot of difference to her. I personally found it easier with people older than me, I figured they had more sense because they were older and had stopped finding being mean to people a form of entertainment. So after I left school I made a decision: I am different but I am going to be myself and if people don’t like it that is their problem. If this cost me friends, they were not real friends and I was perfectly fine with my own company. It is only since watching some videos made by young women with this condition that I realise that I am definitely Asperger’s and it explains everything about why I had such a hard time at school. I remember telling my grandmother that I hated school and she said “Your school days are the best days of your life” and I thought “I hope not”.
help in spending more time in JE well first make it even possible for us apsie girls to be in JE. my biggest obstacle at school was bullying. so i couldnt join other kids and had no choice but to isolate myself for safety. so my advice from the apsie girl point of view would be educate bullies not to bully and then help asd kids with socializing.
Plus, they studied LITTLE KIDS to try to diagnose them earlier. Like being labelled as a freak is going to make being a teenage girl any easier. The entire reason we don't get diagnosed is we fit in TOO WELL. They diagnosed kids who are still creating their social algorithms. They'll learn to socialize in a normal-adjacent fashion. If they didn't, you'd already be diagnosing them.
I'm ASD female just diagnosed aged 25. I really agree about how under-utilized the peer groups are, my friends could definitely see my challenges much more than any teacher. Interesting thought!
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
Absolutely agree with other commenters - the girls with ASD don't need to be fixed, the neurotypical girls need to be taught how to be accepting and friendly (not fake-nice) to other girls who act differently. I would have joined more social activities as a kid if my peers hadn't been so judgemental.
I have ASD. And I feel ashamed of it. As wrong as that sounds. When I meet someone new I avoid telling them about it until they ask why I do a certain action or whatever. I feel like I'll ruin people's ability to make friends. But lately I've seen how my friends didn't care and if anything have been helping me however they can. It's given me hope that I won't be seen as someone who is looked upon as stupid or something to avoid. I'm truly grateful for their support and I feel more confident about myself and my ASD as being something not to be frowned upon
Yeah this study is garbage. When I was a child I walked around the playground alone talking to myself and playing games in my head. Other times I would pick up trash around the playground because I enjoyed it. I did not WANT to play with my friends on the playground. I found it boring and draining. I remember wanting to be social but I never enjoyed how other people socialized so I chose solitude because of that.
It would like more clarity about what constitutes a game in this study. I personally found it much easier to join in games such as tag, hide and seek, hopscotch, etc. rather than "joint engaged" activities. These games have rules and they are predictable and easy to join in. Whereas imaginative games like playing doctors, teachers, families, I found difficult to join in because there were no rules, and I was a stickler for the rules. However, I did not participate in sport type games, because I was uncoordinated and they were too rough and tumble.
Is there a reason why Nuro typical behavior is the goal for the autistic rather than the goal for both groups being learning how to cooperate with each other and learn from each other?
Maybe neurotypical girls need to be taught to accept HFA girls on the playground. Also, many ADS children like being alone since too much social interaction is over-stimulating. If perhaps, professors could see that ADS children have different needs for happiness than neurotypicals and support these differences as lack of neurodiversity awareness is probably at the core of most stress for ADS children.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free .......
My daughter has got ADHD, sensory processing disorder and anxiety. Every single girls ASD factor you have bought up has been the same as my daughter. She’s struggling to cope so much that we are getting her retested by specialists. Thanks for giving me a bit more to think about
I am literally the girls in this study. The description of their activities on the playground described me as a child so well it's scary. I'm 31 now and only just finding out I am autistic.
In the process of getting assessed. I'm over 50 had not a clue! I do remember following behind "older" girls on the playground fascinated with their conversation. Not "what" they were talking about, but how they were conversing. I wondered what age that would happen for me. ODD?? I think so. If this is what I have, as I stumbled upon it last year, I'm happy with myself. A lifetime of anxiety and wondering why??? Finally having the answer? Priceless. I view N/T people as liars, mean, having ulterior motives. I've always been pure at heart. The normal people have no concept of it.
I’m 53 and I also just realised I am autistic. I started researching because my 7 year old granddaughter is struggling. I agree with you, from my point of view the so called NT people are the ones with the problem, liars, ulterior motives, teasing and bullying as a form of entertainment but because there was more of them this behaviour is considered normal.
@@patriciagoodman6174 I have been officially diagnosed as of April. Good luck. They say if you are older and questioning/suspecting you most likely are. I felt free, and relieved for the first time in my life.
As an adult I suspect that I have undiagnosed ASD. How do I approach my doctor about my suspicions without being gaslighted for doing online medical research?
Masshole Shelley look up your insurance for a psychologist. Medical doctors in general are assholes amd you also want to make sure you don't get misdiagnosed as borderline which ive read has happened. To take some online tests first to do some self discovery as well to help the. Case for treatment
I just asked my doctor how I would go about determining if I'm on the spectrum. She didn't judge me or demean me in any way. If she had, I would be looking for a different doctor. She looks medical information up online all the time. (You don't really thing she knows and remembers everything about every disease and disorder do you?) There's nothing wrong with that. She simply set me up with a referral to a Psychologist. I had an appointment for testing within a week and 2 weeks after that I was diagnosed with ASD (Asperger's) and ADD. A week after that, I had a prescription to help with the ADD and an offer from the Psychologist to come in for an appointment to talk if I needed to. It was all very simple, straightforward and positive.
@@renebritton851 Wow! That was fast - usually there is an eight to ten month wait period (even in the states). Would love to know how you got such a quick turn around. How fortunate!
@@renebritton851 Well, I am concerned though that they were quick to medicate you. How about FIRST to let you LIVE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE vs suspicion. Do you really need medication? I am asking this because I am finding many Aspies do NOT feel “broken”. They are WHOLE. Just not like the most.
@@ArtU4All - I don't feel broken either. I love who I am and the majority of who I am comes from being an Aspie! I wouldn't change it for the world! The medication (Adderall) isn't for Asperger Syndrome (Autism) and in fact, has no effect on it. It's for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) Inattentive type. (Formerly known as ADD). I've suspected Autism for many years so there was no need to spend time "getting used to it". I simply wanted, and got, conformation of my suspicions. Medication was offered to me as a way to treat the symptoms that I went to my doctor for in the first place. Physical problems that can easily be controlled or eliminated with medication. Nobody said I had to take it or even what dose. I had already made the choice to take the medication, if indeed ADHD was my problem. If I hadn't wanted to try medication, I wouldn't have mentioned the problem. I would have simply continued to live with it. My doctor said she could give me a prescription for the standard introductory dose (20mg) and I could see if it was of any benefit. After a month or 2, if it didn't help, we could either adjust the dose or try a different medication. As a friend of mine (who also deals with ADHD and recognised my symptoms in the first place) was taking only 10 mg, I chose to start there and see what happened. 10 mg worked beautifully. I have seen a noticeable and beneficial difference and, when I have tried a 20mg dose, I didn't notice any additional benefit with it so I am still happily keeping the distractions at bay and my blood pressure and energy levels up with my chosen low dosage. Your concern implies that you feel I was just rushed through and simply handed a pill to solve all of my problems. I assure you, that was not the case. I was 47 years old at the time and I know myself pretty well. I am quite capable of recognizing and researching my own traits, characteristics, and symptoms. My doctor is there to answer my questions and she works with me to deal with the incredibly small number of health problems I have. This is, I believe, as it should be.
My 4 1/2 is speech delayed (currently in speech therapy) and in preschool. We’ve had her assessed with 2 different doctors and both say she doesn’t meet the criteria. She has a huge vocabulary, already knows how to read and just started using 3-4 word sentences but she’s not conversational and doesn’t tell stories only quick replies and what she wants. For instance, when I pick her up from school and ask her what she did she’s quiet and doesn’t respond. Her teacher says she’s academically ahead of her class but socially in the 3 year old range. She doesn’t play with the 4-5 year olds and plays with the younger kids at school (according to her teacher) but when we are with family or at the park she always goes up to the older kids.
Undiagnosed male with likely ASD here: Trying to remember something about my day that was different enough from other days to be worth mentioning was always annoying, particularly given that I was trying to decompress after a long day. My mom would always ask what I did at school and be frustrated by the one-word response "nothing". And I'm an extrovert and was language-accelerated! Various dyspraxia issues are common with autism (but not considered part of the diagnostic criteria), and if those affect speech, saying much is likely to be tiring (not my experience as my issues were with motor coordination, not vocal, and I was talking before age 1). If speaking is extra effort, a "stupid" question like "what did you do today?" is likely not to be dignified with a response (not normally the case for me, but if a cold has made it difficult to speak at an audible volume or an acid reflux attack has me concentrating on just breathing, unnecessary questions tend to be met with an angry grunt). If you engage an autistic kid on something they're interested in, they're likely to be quite talkative (especially if vocal dyspraxia issues aren't in the way), to the point that they don't find *you* sufficiently conversational. The natural unit of conversation for me is a paragraph, not a sentence. Preferring to socialize at an age difference is also common: there's less assumed context than with ones peers, and processing assumed context tends to be a deficit for autistic people. A preference for opposite-gender friendships also often exists for the same reason, at least until puberty complicates things.
I found this a bit irritating... Esp the end... Why not consider actually designing playgrounds for all children instead of just NT hmm? You know i like many others on the spectrum have poor depth perception therefore i couldn't play on the playground like the others.. So i ended up playing alone more until i started playing with the boys which also wasn't observed in your study.. Stop trying to make us conform. Instead, start making changes so we can all have a great time. You could also Consider adding more solo activity's!! The goal shouldn't be to make us like you... The goal should be equality!
@Beatrix In Christ Read the law before posting such comments... your link claims it can cure illnesses and so forth.. Not wise... can go to prison for that without a medical license and even then you still can't make claim to cure
At a young age I was determine an autistic female for my outstanding masculine intellect in a certain way which can be a miscommunication as a autistic trait in females. It just turns out that I have some of me mosaically being my own unborn fraternal twin having been a rare chimeric effect on me. Some of me is Y although I'm XX completely. I may have extra testosterone to an extent but I have both the masculine and feminine functioning brain. I figured out on my own I couldn't be autistic because of no existing cognitive disfunctions and verbal difficulty although I was a mute once in my childhood. I could count as a female he in a way but it's not always a noticed thing to many because it is very rare.
I used to walk on the border of the playground and kids would sometimes follow, or dig out rocks in the dirt with mulch, or play pretend with other kids when I was invited to
Is there any hope for me? I remember not being put into teams. I was short and into invention ideas. I was not into reality neither because of my Toxic and Money Demon abusive parents. This has me crying. I am 44 and jobless once again!!!!!
The research on ASD in boys needs to be polled and a standalone study with more detail needs to be done on girls with ASD because as a transgender girl growing up with learning disabilities I fell through the cracks in every direction because I never typically was like any boy growing up I was more like one of the girls and now I’m realizing as an adult at 56 years old that I may have autism and I’m going to be working and getting tested for enough and official diagnosis because I also have multiple mental health disorders that have surfaced in the last four years when I started my transition as well the disorders that I have are borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder major depressive disorder insomnia and dissociative identity disorder and I think that’s all of them but once I go to read testing all of my May be changing when I get retested for all of my mental health disorders when I also get re-why also get tested for ASD and I also have learning disabilities and mild MR as well and imagine going through your entire life not knowing any of this or realizing it until years old as I am so my life has been a train wreck and I wish I do and had better help growing up things could’ve ended up a lot differently for me also I am legally blind born with cataracts now I can only see light and shadow because of glaucoma and yes I was also a foster child growing up until age 14 when I was adopted by my foster parents falling through the cracks I hold the definition of that
How does one get diagnosed? I feel that I have it (female, age 38) but I have also had a tumultuous life since birth full of a variety of abuse & uncertainty. I can’t tell if my symptoms match autism because I am indeed autistic or they’re just due to all the abuse & upheaval in my life.
If they really want to understand autistic people's difficulties then why don't they just ask them? I'm sick of being studied like a lab rat and told what's good for me.
NTs can be awful to NDs. Even children can sense if someone is different and not allow the ND to be part of the group. Or bully them. Maybe a better approach would be to teach the NT how to be decent humans instead of trying to figure out how to force ND to spend more time where they aren't welcome.
Please professionally educate DR MAXWELL in MA that female ASD is real. He said he doesn’t “buy it”........ yeah.......... these are my drs........ I have tried for years
I think the bigger problem is getting the other kids to be more welcoming and understanding of the kids that are different. Yes Aspies have quirks but they tend isolate themselves because they get negative feedback from peers. It's easier to be with adults or alone than to face constant rejection because they are a little different
I also really like having friends, but I LOVE spending a lot of time alone. I'm not depressed or whatever, I just truly don't mind/actually enjoy doing my own thing. As a kid, I really liked to spend a Saturday afternoon reading quietly in my room. It was my ideal activity. I got plenty of social interaction at school/sports/camps, and needed plenty of time to recover from all that and process it. My parents understanding that need is at least 50% of why I turned out so well.
I completely agree Danielle. There has to be more awareness and better understanding. I have a few friends with autism and I appreciate their quirks and respect their alone time. Depending on where they are on the spectrum, of course. For example, I have a friend on who I have to initiate contact with but once we connect, he can freely talk about his interests as well as listen to my interests. I have another friend I meet for coffee and when we talk, it’s completely interest related on his part.
This is exactly why I now dislike the majority of people and prefer to isolate. It took a lot of trauma to get me to this place.
Exactly, I sometimes wonder if we are the way we are because of the way our brains are wired or because of successive hurtful interactions with people. Perhaps a bit of both.
@@AWalkingHat we are wired that way in the womb
Nobody seems to mention, that children without autism can be extremely mean to others. Has anyone considered that solitary behaviour may be a protective mechanism? If you are clumsy and uncoordinated as either a girl or a boy, you will not be welcome in games. If you don't want to gossip about other people and aren't interested in fashion and make-up, you will not be welcome in girl circles.
It was and still is a protective mechanism, at least in my case.
I always had this issue with both being bad at sports and also incredibly uninterested in ppls crap talk or talking about what boy they liked, i could always care less. I just lost my one “friend” ive had for over 20 yrs bc I can no longer handle her obsession with her love and sex life and its all she wants to talk to me about, and she will no longer be my friend bc I told her I just do not care at all about any of that information and I do not want to hear about it. Shes obv not a friend, i have had a lot of ppl just vampire off of me bc i am not able to figure out ‘real friends’. My drs will not diagnose me i have been trying for 5 years and they will not even refer me out to a dr bc I am too high functioning and i mask well (15yrs of acting classes).... my therapist wont believe me and the pill dr she tried to get me to see said he ‘doesn’t buy’ female ASD even exists..... his name is dr Maxwell from MA, working through Fairwinds, if anyone would like to professionally educate him.
@@JustinaJayne I'm the same way. I was average at sports though I'd say. But lucky for me I unwittingly made friends with another autistic girl. (I am nonbinary but assigned female at birth.) I didn't know I was autistic at the time, that was middle school. I didn't even notice there was anything different about her. I didn't notice anything until my mom told me she was autistic years later after she came for a sleepover at our house. We are best friends and there is also another girl who knew her before I did, they were best friends before I knew either of them. Now all three of us are best friends and have been for years. Sometimes I wonder if there was any subconscious reason I became friends with them specifically. It felt random. We kind of just happened to sit at the same lunch table but we got along really well and still do.
I absolutely think that what you said is true for me. You feel like you can't change that part of you and so you are afraid to offend so you isolate.
This is so accurate.
She does not seem to understand how difficult and exhausting socialising is to autistic children, forcing autistic girls to take part in more JE would make things worse, they take breaks because socialising is hard work.
Lilith Marchosias ikr
Right? Having to like observe, like trying to read their facial expressions and body language. Paying attention to all kinds of details to try and figure out and keep up with the situation, conversation, feelings, intentions, or person. And can be so many things doing at once and constantly. Do they want to go but you keep talking and they're too polite to say so. Is what they said or did being legit rude or mean, or you're just being too sensitive or took it the wrong way. Maybe wasn't serious but sarcasm or joke.
And then you're also paying super attention and thoughts on what you say and how you do, and present yourself. Or how you look in that you like try keeping eye contact. Your body language not looking rude, awkward, nervous anxiety like etc. Like arms crossed or fidgeting.
Needing to be aware and reading the room so constantly thoroughly examine social interactions is exhausting especially with new people you don't have a better read of from experience and relationship. It also takes a toll mentally and emotionally. And so many not with it are introverts who need time alone to charge up, should they be forced too
Insomniacs PillowFort Army amen
Exactly
Yuuupp
Why would you want the AD girls to spend more Time in JE. It is probably already highly demanding for them. Maybe they need their alone time to recharg, for their sanity and simply to be happy. Making them spend more time with their peers is just another way to make them fit into certain social standards that are not theirs.
I agree! As an Autistic adult, I have to monitor the energy I spend during social interactions (spent on reading emotions, keeping track of a conversation, maintaining awareness of my mannerisms) and punctuate these (certainly enjoyable) periods of effort with more quiet and contemplative moments from which I can gather more energy to engage in what I hope will be another mutually beneficial and natural feeling interaction. I can handle large chunks of social time if they can be punctuated with large chunks of alone time. It would make sense that a child would need frequent shifts between the two. After all, they do not yet have the years of trial and error under their belts that allows me and other adults on the spectrum to converse at a pace that neurotypical adults are used to and with the brevity they require.
100% agree with you!!!! The whole time I watched this I was thinking that if they were to actually talk to those with ASD about possible solutions and and beneficial services they story would be different, if there had been a quiet room to go to during recess where you could just go about your business without anyone bothering you that would be ideal for a kid with ASD they want and need alone time to restore themselves and it will be that way for the rest of their lives! In this world based on extroverted preferences there needs to be just as much acceptance of introverted behaviors !! Alone time doesn't = bad or depression especially in the case of ASD!!!
I agree. I think the first step in helping kids with social difficulties is to say “it’s ok! Socialising can be stressful so have a rest and rejoin when and if you want to”. As a kid I always wanted to fit in and look normal. Boy was it exhausting! So with my son I’ve always told him that if he wants to wander around alone and think, that is perfectly fine. Self acceptance is key.
I was wondering about this. My 5 year old daughter has been recently diagnosed. She thoroughly enjoys her own company at the school yard and at home. At home, she let's us know she wants to be alone and if she needs help she will shout at me to assist her! At school I think she is viewed as a bit strange.
I can tell you that as her mum, it can be hard to watch her walk around by herself. I get why people want these girls to participate more, but I think it's a selfish thing. I would love my wee one to be more involved, but it's because in my mind that what should make her happy. But it doesn't!
Since her diagnosis I've been trying to observe her more closely, I think she is perfectly happy on her own! She will interact when she chooses too and she's and ways accepted! She has 2 lovely wee friends who have worked very hard to be noticed by my girl! That's enough for her, when she runs off away to be alone, they run off to play something else!
The people that want to push social interaction mean well, I understand the instinct to want your child to have many friends. But we have to think about what the child's needs are! I think about it like humans are Sims, from the game! My daughters "social bar" fills more quickly than others!
love4U Allone Excellent comment.
I have to agree with all the other comments here. The findings of the study seem sound, but the conclusions and aims stated at the end sent a shiver down my spine as a woman with ASD. I spent so much time as a child forcing myself into the 'joint-engaged' scenarios but AT BEST that meant silently suffering through discomfort and boredom. I had sufficient (masking) social skills to build a group of friends and not be an outcast, but internally I could barely tolerate much time in their presence despite thinking they were 'nice enough kids'. With no language to describe this and no external recognition, my internal experience was not only incredibly isolated, but also with an alienating sense of unreality. The only times I actually enjoyed were solitary or with adults, and the only reason I didn't spend all of my time alone was social pressure and my internal desire to fit in and utilise the power of social connections. As I got older this became more and more difficult to tolerate and I would 'hide' from my friends in the library or simply alone in a corridor as often as I could. By mid teens I had become so depleted that I had a breakdown and point blank refused to see any of my friends again. They were no doubt very hurt and confused by this, as on the surface I was reasonably popular and well-liked (largely due to my 'mentor' or 'therapist' role in the group).
10 years after leaving school I am still in therapy for severe c-PTSD, in large part caused by my experiences of the school system. Looking back I desperately wish I had been given the opportunity to move into some kind of alternative education which allowed me to socialise and learn with older people. I was also enormously academically advanced and spent all of school stultifyingly bored, so this would have worked well in every aspect. If, as this speaker suggests, I had been pressured into spending even more time with my peers, I can only imagine this would have increased my misery and distorted sense of self (a factor in c-PTSD), pushing me to the point of breakdown even earlier in life.
There was a program that they had us watch at school when I was very young a few times. I think it was called, Free to be, you and me. I wonder why they don't practice what they preach! I hated school then and I hate school now at 51. I learned more on my own reading books I chose and observing through my senses than the teachers ever taught me. And how can you learn in a class-room setting anyway, when IT IS boring, and you are being forced against your will to sit still, stay quiet and listen for long stretches of time to a person you didn't choose to learn from?
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
I am entirely with you on this!
This was me. I used to sit with a couple of other girls, but never quite understood what was going on. Maybe that was why I also spent quite a bit of time just wandering. By high school this got so bad that for a couple of years I spent less that half of my days at school. I used to just sit in parks and wait for the day to be over so I could go home. I ended up dropping out of school at 14, despite being smart (I am now completing a PhD - better late than never). Not being diagnosed has made my life a train-wreck. Bad marriages (it is so hard to spot people with bad intent), a lack of friends (no-one to point out just how bad my decisions were), and a whole heap of self-medicating. Finally, 2 years ago, at 46 I was diagnosed. Such a lightbulb moment - finally it all made sense. More recently, early onset bipolar was also identified. Sure, the times were different when I was growing up - I am not sure that I would have even qualified for a diagnosis under the criteria at that time. But, I am sure that if assessed, it would have been noted that something was wrong. For that to happen though, I would have had to have told someone what was going on. But I couldn't connect - I couldn't mimic behaviors I had never seen. I am so glad that it is finally being noticed that girls do autism differently. I hope that others don't have to endure the train-wreck.
I endured the train wreck. Barely. Just figured it all out at 42. Better late than never. Been sober a year. Zero social life, but oh well. Alive and relieved to know the truth.
Caroline Fielden try most of us female Aspies have an iq of 130 and upwards
"I couldn't mimic behaviors I had never seen"
Damn. That explains so much.
@@stacimarie3 studying drama is brilliant for that
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
I still have extreme difficulty joining a group or conversations. I'm labeled shy, snob, aloof, awkward because I prefer to be alone not bother with socialization.
L0gic N Truth Did you ever also blurt out things randomly and have problems with your memory? I did
Devon White yes and got me in trouble quite a few times.
Maybe you’re just an introvert
add boring to that list and that's how ppl describe me. i don't know if i have aspergers or if i'm just an introvert. cause i wasn't like this at all before i got bullied. idk . i just have a lot of traits of aspergers plus my sister has autism
I am again and again astounded by how many professionals that still meet "I'm not really interested in that" (= social group) with "of course you do! It's human instinct to be driven by this".
I used to roam around at recess near the edges of the fences or up on the hill pretending I was a lost child in nature and had to fend for myself, stuck in a 45m day dream 5 days a week to escape. It's what kept me going to school everyday.
I did that too! I loved it :-) it made the world a bit more bearable, along with reading. I used to argue with teachers that they were wasting my time given that I had no interest or ability in art and could use the time to read instead. I was 8 and couldn't understand why they thought that was rude to say. To me it was just fact and not me trying to question their authority.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
Is increasing social engagement really the answer? Perhaps supporting self-understanding and self-acceptance of ones needs - would be even more beneficial ...
I needed help as a child to see any of my own positive traits. I knew it was a relief to get away from bullies at school. ( I grew up before the internet became a popular public domain.)
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
@@joycebrewer4150 My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
🙋 I was the girl spending the e n t i r e recess on a swing
Every
Single
Day
Also talked mostly to teachers throughout much of my school years
Impossible for me. Everyone wanted to play on the swings. EVERYONE. It's was a battle to get there at the start of recess and grouos of friends worked together to hog them. There was a 2 minute limit for each kid.
Mereki Panfia haha truuuue there were a few times when I had to give up my swing so I usually went to the slide or jungle gym by myself 😅
Brittany Caron, The Sandbox was my domain (much to the repeated ire of my mother) and I later moved on to patroling the playground while chatting with my ONE friend. Not to bad if I'm being honest. The other kids were rude anyway and it kept Mom from turning into a MOMster.
Exactly
Brittany Caron you're speaking to my soul! The swings were epic! 😍
I would have never wanted MORE engagement with girls.
Boys were better there weren’t all those crazy bitchy cliches
ikr
I’ve lived all this before ASD in girls was even recognized.
Joanne Manelli yes. I blame the likes of Simon Baron Cohen and a media that loves to present the typical image of a savant male (sheldon cooper, rainman etc). I’m glad the issue is getting more recognition now.
Yes. It’s so hard. And it’s hard going through life knowing something isn’t right with you.
I wonder how many diagnosed with bpd are actually autistic
@@mara6520 that's what happened to me.
Very interesting video. This makes sense. Games have a starting point, where kids decide who’s playing and who’s not, so the exclusion of ASD boys is explicit and obvious to see. Girls “flit” around the edges trying to fit in but never fully understanding how the other girls find it so easy to interact.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
So the control group was selected specifically because of their proactive social skills. Therefore you are comparing those with autism to the most developed of the neurotypicals that skews the results.
I agree. At the same time, I think they picked those children because they were warm and would be willing to engage with autistic children and not be put off by their difference.
I NEED space or I get really exhausted and irritable. Forcing them to socialize longer than they want will just cause stress & tension between relationships.
First, I want to point out that without this research, I wouldn't have been able to tell you what your next steps should ACTUALLY be. So thank you for the research, thank you for sharing so much about you study design/research methods so I didn't feel the need to look these things up to fact check. But then you went and made conclusions/theorized, you missed AN INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT PART:
You need to take your gathered data, and you need to find successful and articulate female young adults/adolescents (i.e. who still remember early school years and whose early school years are recent enough to be most relevant) with high-functioning autism, preferably those of us with IQs a few standard deviations above the mean (yeah, I'm one of them, I'd love to answer any questions or have almost any academic conversation that you'd like), and you need to ASK THEM WHY THEY THINK THE AUTISTIC GIRLS MIGHT BE ACTING THAT WAY.
The one conclusion I think has merit that you briefly touched upon:
- Most successful aspies mask our symptoms really well, but you observed kids in the early childhood years when we were still making a bunch of faux pas and trying to figure things out.
- Most successful aspies in adult life also have a few close friends/confidants who hugely respect their knowledge base and skill sets, or their character, whatever. You need a neurotypical peer who is a true best friend or Ally, who has great social skills and compensates and speaks well about you, even in your absence. I've had several throughout my life, but when I don't have a peer who understands me and can explain my oddities (i.e. occasional accidental saying super mean things without realizing how they sound, melting down from sensory overload) to my co-workers or other students, but still be like 'but she's super nice and will always fix your computers and help if you need it so don't be a dick, she's actually really funny'
Key assumptions I think will be proved hugely erroneous in time:
1. Telling adults to have NT peers help the autistic kids without an explicit framework for how to do it....probably intended to be a positive thing but you probably did a lot of harm by posting that on youtube. Well-meaning teachers will take kids doing everything they can to fit in, out them as autistic, and therefore weird. You should tell them that it's important for an autistic person to have a true best friend, but that obviously forcing children to be friends isn't going to lead to anything but mean girls being mean girls. You need to educate young children about autism, and autism in females especially. When you're talking about diversity and racism and differences. Not in health class like this is some kind of medical problem. I mostly love my autism, and I feel much more mentally healthy to have found a career that is challenging, fulfilling, and well-suited to me as a person, for the most part. I provide a different and valuable perspective.
2. Which leads me to, we DO NOT need to be teaching these girls how to fit in. A little louder for the kids in the back: WE ALREADY DISGUISE OUR BEHAVIOR SO WELL NO ONE THINKS WE ARE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING AUTISTIC. YOU ONLY OBSERVED THE LEARNING PROCESS BUT DIDN'T ACCOUNT FOR THE FACT THAT WE ALREADY SOLVED THE PROBLEM, FOR THE MOST PART. JUST GET THE OTHER KIDS TO BE KINDER, MORE TOLERANT, HUMAN BEINGS.
3. As we learn more about this issue, the benefits of this study were there, but the entire community is full of neurotypical researchers. THERE ARE PLENTY OF AUTISTIC GENIUSES IN THE RESEARCH AND MEDICAL COMMUNITIES. YOU HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER.
Please take this away:
- If you're going to diagnose us young, please do it right. Teaching girls how to fit in is something a friend will do. Make sure they have a true friend. Don't force it.
- If you're doing research and drawing conclusions from behavior of autistic people, at least let the autistic community brainstorm with you for a few moments before you develop a theory. We've been 'making a path while you motherfuckers drive straight' as Lil Dicky says in his song Professional Rapper. You'll never get your brain there. I've been studying the NT brain to fit in for nearly 30 years, and I still don't understand all your motivations and why you do the things you do. Don't think you can come to the game this late and know how ours are wired, it's like the English vs. Metric system.
- Give the school age kids, from K-12 at a MINIMUM, the opportunity to go to the nurse's office or a fairly private, quiet, dark, calm, and SOLITARY (or as close to that as is safe for a child) to go during times of sensory overload, meltdown, or just generally not being able to cope with the classroom. If they overuse it, they can see the school guidance counselor and talk about why, and what's going on. I had so many psychosomatic stomach aches/migraines in school because it was a viable excuse to go lie down in a private quiet dark room for 30 minutes and not be bothered, my pediatrician wanted me to see a surgeon for an exploratory lap to find out why I was having so much abdominal pain. Luckily my parents knew I needed a fucking break.
- I learned to fit in by watching a totally 'unhealthy' amount of TV. Boy Meets World, taught me classroom behavior, 7th Heaven and Growing Pains taught me homefront behavior, Veronica Mars taught me everything I needed to know about high school, and I got all pop culture jokes in high school from the Daily Show, which other kids weren't allowed to stay up and watch on school nights. College was solid Chelsea Handler, and starting a career in the hospital was Scrubs, House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc. Steer kids to TV content that's just every day situations they encounter. Steer them to TV content with children who display typical behavior for children of their age group, not extreme acting out. Make sure they see how kids their age are supposed to act at any age, and in a multitude of situations (class, home, work, with friends (supervised), with friends (unsupervised). Allow kids to ask questions about what they see on TV, and explain social dynamics they don't understand, sure. It will help whoever is answering those questions know how to understand the autistic mind, too, just by which questions come up. And as I steer you toward data collection, I hope you know enough not to ask any autistic person a closed ended or multiple choice question without at LEAST asking why they chose that answer, or what they would write in if they had the chance. Again, You don't know what questions to ask yet. I'd be happy to help.
Catherine Bell 👏🏻 thank you!
OMG yes! All of this! I'm so glad you took the time to write such a thorough response. Autistics voicing the qualitative nature of their experiences should be the number one way we learn about autism. We are NOT puzzle pieces. "Nothing about us without us!"
Just wanted to add another thank you reply bc there werent enough. Thank you.
This is excellent. Thank you for articulating it!
Hmmm.... ☺️
😇🌿🙏♥️
I was reading your commentary while the episode was playing. So i did NOT HEAR WHAT SHE SAID, pretty much. nor do i feel i need to hear her.
Your insight is in the bull’s eye. It feels so right. And it makes sense 100%.
This video was posted 5 years ago. Hopefully, NOW these researchers understand the shortcomings of their work.
The whole subject of Aspergers is quite fascinating. And recognizing Aspies as normal minority would make for a better, kinder, SMARTER society. It is the majority, the “NT” majority, that also needs education about how to be with people who are not like them only in SOME respects. Only some but very important respects.
Thank you 👍
As a 25-year-old, struggling to be diagnosed with ASD, this video is incredibly helpful. I was a really normal kid until about grade 5, when I receded into a shell and didn't leave it until well after high school. It's incredibly difficult to be taken seriously, I once had a psychiatrist tell me that I can't be autistic because I don't act like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory.
That doctor clearly watches too much tv 😂
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
I was diagnosed with ASD at age 40. Yes, I'm female and have been masking, even though I didn't know what I was doing.
Hard isn’t it ! So draining.......and it doesn’t leave you with enough mental energy to deal with a curve ball.....then the meltdown may happen.
And then one day you realize.. and it ALL makes sense....
As a child i remember spending quite a bit of my time alone on the playground, however i do remember some days i would join a group of boys who would dig below the sand to the tougher dirt, in order to construct little tunnels and ledges to build epic little 'cities'. I find it interesting because the activity wasn't really a sports game, instead it was an act of creativity. In fact, when i was getting tested for autism i was outright told by the doctor that 'autistic people really aren't creative' despite the fact that i know multiple people on the spectrum who are very highly creative. I know im rambling but my point is that i think social behavior amongst boys and girls {including those on the spectrum} is a bit more complex than given credit for in this study. otherwise, i am glad that studies like this are being done to at least show how differently autism can be expressed in girls as opposed to boys because of expectations of how we are 'supposed to' behave. I think oftentimes there is an incredible pressure on girls to be more social and males to be more active.
I am very creative also.
I recall spending recesses at grade school, sitting in a deep concrete window well to the basement of my school. I would look for pebbles of fine sedimentary clay, then use them on the sides of window well as if they were chalk. Most of what I found were a reddish color. The janitor finally told me that was real hard to wash off. I told him I didn't think there were any more chalk pebbles in the playground. I'd looked hard.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
My Aspie girl is hilarious and creative. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
.......
I would wander off because I was bored or tired. I only hung out with people in high school because I was afraid of being targeted and harassed if I was always seen alone. I would often completely clock out of the conversation and I almost never formed close connections with the people in the group.
NT's just want us to be more like them and it just makes me want to talk to them even less
Bullying is a huge part of socializing that nobody seems to recognize even the teachers ignore it....I was abused by girls and older boys ..in classroom and at recess.....I was beat up by older boys...the girls were hateful and cruel......the teacher forced me to report them to the principal and I got beat up and yelled at on the bus ride home....I was forced to stay in at recess. The other kids weren't the problem...it was me a tiny frail skinny blonde haired blue eyed girl...who was too shy to speak....or in my case Autistic....to this day I hate making girlfriends and guys aren't necessarily a great thing either...both call me weird...crazy...hurtful names..still years and years later.....I think I'm definetly on another page....but I know I'm not crazy or anything they say....but I see they are less then me....as I wouldn't treat people that way .....I think this doctor likes pulling people apart but cannot understand still how Autistic people work....they just dont get this....its frusterating......Also...you can read this off a piece of paper...but usually nothing ever happens in the schools themselves....its like ...I'm giving a speech.....clap clap clap....thank you ...see me everybody....then nothing....its all show and tell....the person with autism is looked at like a freak and the bullying continues...
I so completely identify with this I was bullied mercilessly at school, and hated school because of it. I couldn’t understand why they would be so mean. I didn’t understand why I didn’t fit in. I am 53 now and have never been diagnosed. I had never even heard of Asperger’s syndrome until the pastor at my church suggested that my teenage son had it who also had not been diagnosed although he did go to a special school for a learning disability. When I looked it up , I recognised a lot of the traits in myself. I am researching it now because my 7 year old granddaughter is struggling and I think she may have it and if she can get a diagnosis it may make a lot of difference to her.
I personally found it easier with people older than me, I figured they had more sense because they were older and had stopped finding being mean to people a form of entertainment. So after I left school I made a decision: I am different but I am going to be myself and if people don’t like it that is their problem. If this cost me friends, they were not real friends and I was perfectly fine with my own company.
It is only since watching some videos made by young women with this condition that I realise that I am definitely Asperger’s and it explains everything about why I had such a hard time at school. I remember telling my grandmother that I hated school and she said “Your school days are the best days of your life” and I thought “I hope not”.
help in spending more time in JE well first make it even possible for us apsie girls to be in JE. my biggest obstacle at school was bullying. so i couldnt join other kids and had no choice but to isolate myself for safety. so my advice from the apsie girl point of view would be educate bullies not to bully and then help asd kids with socializing.
now I'm pissed I spent a half hour typing a tirade when you summarized it pretty well a mere couple of days ago.
Plus, they studied LITTLE KIDS to try to diagnose them earlier. Like being labelled as a freak is going to make being a teenage girl any easier. The entire reason we don't get diagnosed is we fit in TOO WELL. They diagnosed kids who are still creating their social algorithms. They'll learn to socialize in a normal-adjacent fashion. If they didn't, you'd already be diagnosing them.
I'm ASD female just diagnosed aged 25. I really agree about how under-utilized the peer groups are, my friends could definitely see my challenges much more than any teacher. Interesting thought!
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
Absolutely agree with other commenters - the girls with ASD don't need to be fixed, the neurotypical girls need to be taught how to be accepting and friendly (not fake-nice) to other girls who act differently. I would have joined more social activities as a kid if my peers hadn't been so judgemental.
No that’s wrong that’s turning yourself into a victim, to satisfy a small minority group. That’s virtue signalling, That’s narcissism.
I have ASD. And I feel ashamed of it. As wrong as that sounds. When I meet someone new I avoid telling them about it until they ask why I do a certain action or whatever. I feel like I'll ruin people's ability to make friends. But lately I've seen how my friends didn't care and if anything have been helping me however they can. It's given me hope that I won't be seen as someone who is looked upon as stupid or something to avoid. I'm truly grateful for their support and I feel more confident about myself and my ASD as being something not to be frowned upon
Yeah this study is garbage. When I was a child I walked around the playground alone talking to myself and playing games in my head. Other times I would pick up
trash around the playground because I enjoyed it. I did not WANT to play with my friends on the playground. I found it boring and draining. I remember wanting to be social but I never enjoyed how other people socialized so I chose solitude because of that.
Same here!
It would like more clarity about what constitutes a game in this study. I personally found it much easier to join in games such as tag, hide and seek, hopscotch, etc. rather than "joint engaged" activities. These games have rules and they are predictable and easy to join in. Whereas imaginative games like playing doctors, teachers, families, I found difficult to join in because there were no rules, and I was a stickler for the rules. However, I did not participate in sport type games, because I was uncoordinated and they were too rough and tumble.
Is there a reason why Nuro typical behavior is the goal for the autistic rather than the goal for both groups being learning how to cooperate with each other and learn from each other?
Maybe neurotypical girls need to be taught to accept HFA girls on the playground. Also, many ADS children like being alone since too much social interaction is over-stimulating. If perhaps, professors could see that ADS children have different needs for happiness than neurotypicals and support these differences as lack of neurodiversity awareness is probably at the core of most stress for ADS children.
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now , so far it has cured his ASD and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now he is completely free
.......
My daughter has got ADHD, sensory processing disorder and anxiety. Every single girls ASD factor you have bought up has been the same as my daughter. She’s struggling to cope so much that we are getting her retested by specialists. Thanks for giving me a bit more to think about
Clearly zero understanding towards females with ASD
i loveee your pfp
I am literally the girls in this study. The description of their activities on the playground described me as a child so well it's scary. I'm 31 now and only just finding out I am autistic.
In the process of getting assessed. I'm over 50 had not a clue! I do remember following behind "older" girls on the playground fascinated with their conversation. Not "what" they were talking about, but how they were conversing. I wondered what age that would happen for me. ODD?? I think so. If this is what I have, as I stumbled upon it last year, I'm happy with myself. A lifetime of anxiety and wondering why??? Finally having the answer? Priceless. I view N/T people as liars, mean, having ulterior motives. I've always been pure at heart. The normal people have no concept of it.
I’m 53 and I also just realised I am autistic. I started researching because my 7 year old granddaughter is struggling. I agree with you, from my point of view the so called NT people are the ones with the problem, liars, ulterior motives, teasing and bullying as a form of entertainment but because there was more of them this behaviour is considered normal.
@@patriciagoodman6174 I have been officially diagnosed as of April. Good luck. They say if you are older and questioning/suspecting you most likely are. I felt free, and relieved for the first time in my life.
That’s where you’re wrong, you’re projecting
"how do we make them act more like everyone else, regardless of their enjoyments and dislikes?" 🙄
As an adult I suspect that I have undiagnosed ASD. How do I approach my doctor about my suspicions without being gaslighted for doing online medical research?
Masshole Shelley look up your insurance for a psychologist. Medical doctors in general are assholes amd you also want to make sure you don't get misdiagnosed as borderline which ive read has happened. To take some online tests first to do some self discovery as well to help the. Case for treatment
I just asked my doctor how I would go about determining if I'm on the spectrum. She didn't judge me or demean me in any way. If she had, I would be looking for a different doctor. She looks medical information up online all the time. (You don't really thing she knows and remembers everything about every disease and disorder do you?) There's nothing wrong with that. She simply set me up with a referral to a Psychologist. I had an appointment for testing within a week and 2 weeks after that I was diagnosed with ASD (Asperger's) and ADD. A week after that, I had a prescription to help with the ADD and an offer from the Psychologist to come in for an appointment to talk if I needed to. It was all very simple, straightforward and positive.
@@renebritton851 Wow! That was fast - usually there is an eight to ten month wait period (even in the states). Would love to know how you got such a quick turn around. How fortunate!
@@renebritton851
Well, I am concerned though that they were quick to medicate you. How about FIRST to let you LIVE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE vs suspicion. Do you really need medication? I am asking this because I am finding many Aspies do NOT feel “broken”. They are WHOLE. Just not like the most.
@@ArtU4All - I don't feel broken either. I love who I am and the majority of who I am comes from being an Aspie! I wouldn't change it for the world! The medication (Adderall) isn't for Asperger Syndrome (Autism) and in fact, has no effect on it. It's for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) Inattentive type. (Formerly known as ADD). I've suspected Autism for many years so there was no need to spend time "getting used to it". I simply wanted, and got, conformation of my suspicions. Medication was offered to me as a way to treat the symptoms that I went to my doctor for in the first place. Physical problems that can easily be controlled or eliminated with medication. Nobody said I had to take it or even what dose. I had already made the choice to take the medication, if indeed ADHD was my problem. If I hadn't wanted to try medication, I wouldn't have mentioned the problem. I would have simply continued to live with it.
My doctor said she could give me a prescription for the standard introductory dose (20mg) and I could see if it was of any benefit. After a month or 2, if it didn't help, we could either adjust the dose or try a different medication. As a friend of mine (who also deals with ADHD and recognised my symptoms in the first place) was taking only 10 mg, I chose to start there and see what happened. 10 mg worked beautifully. I have seen a noticeable and beneficial difference and, when I have tried a 20mg dose, I didn't notice any additional benefit with it so I am still happily keeping the distractions at bay and my blood pressure and energy levels up with my chosen low dosage.
Your concern implies that you feel I was just rushed through and simply handed a pill to solve all of my problems. I assure you, that was not the case. I was 47 years old at the time and I know myself pretty well. I am quite capable of recognizing and researching my own traits, characteristics, and symptoms. My doctor is there to answer my questions and she works with me to deal with the incredibly small number of health problems I have. This is, I believe, as it should be.
My 4 1/2 is speech delayed (currently in speech therapy) and in preschool. We’ve had her assessed with 2 different doctors and both say she doesn’t meet the criteria. She has a huge vocabulary, already knows how to read and just started using 3-4 word sentences but she’s not conversational and doesn’t tell stories only quick replies and what she wants. For instance, when I pick her up from school and ask her what she did she’s quiet and doesn’t respond. Her teacher says she’s academically ahead of her class but socially in the 3 year old range. She doesn’t play with the 4-5 year olds and plays with the younger kids at school (according to her teacher) but when we are with family or at the park she always goes up to the older kids.
Undiagnosed male with likely ASD here: Trying to remember something about my day that was different enough from other days to be worth mentioning was always annoying, particularly given that I was trying to decompress after a long day. My mom would always ask what I did at school and be frustrated by the one-word response "nothing". And I'm an extrovert and was language-accelerated! Various dyspraxia issues are common with autism (but not considered part of the diagnostic criteria), and if those affect speech, saying much is likely to be tiring (not my experience as my issues were with motor coordination, not vocal, and I was talking before age 1). If speaking is extra effort, a "stupid" question like "what did you do today?" is likely not to be dignified with a response (not normally the case for me, but if a cold has made it difficult to speak at an audible volume or an acid reflux attack has me concentrating on just breathing, unnecessary questions tend to be met with an angry grunt).
If you engage an autistic kid on something they're interested in, they're likely to be quite talkative (especially if vocal dyspraxia issues aren't in the way), to the point that they don't find *you* sufficiently conversational. The natural unit of conversation for me is a paragraph, not a sentence.
Preferring to socialize at an age difference is also common: there's less assumed context than with ones peers, and processing assumed context tends to be a deficit for autistic people. A preference for opposite-gender friendships also often exists for the same reason, at least until puberty complicates things.
I found this a bit irritating... Esp the end... Why not consider actually designing playgrounds for all children instead of just NT hmm?
You know i like many others on the spectrum have poor depth perception therefore i couldn't play on the playground like the others.. So i ended up playing alone more until i started playing with the boys which also wasn't observed in your study.. Stop trying to make us conform. Instead, start making changes so we can all have a great time. You could also Consider adding more solo activity's!! The goal shouldn't be to make us like you... The goal should be equality!
@Beatrix In Christ Read the law before posting such comments... your link claims it can cure illnesses and so forth.. Not wise... can go to prison for that without a medical license and even then you still can't make claim to cure
At a young age I was determine an autistic female for my outstanding masculine intellect in a certain way which can be a miscommunication as a autistic trait in females. It just turns out that I have some of me mosaically being my own unborn fraternal twin having been a rare chimeric effect on me. Some of me is Y although I'm XX completely.
I may have extra testosterone to an extent but I have both the masculine and feminine functioning brain. I figured out on my own I couldn't be autistic because of no existing cognitive disfunctions and verbal difficulty although I was a mute once in my childhood.
I could count as a female he in a way but it's not always a noticed thing to many because it is very rare.
its not easy to ignore the impulses
I used to walk on the border of the playground and kids would sometimes follow, or dig out rocks in the dirt with mulch, or play pretend with other kids when I was invited to
Thank you for this. This fits me in my childhood.
Is there any hope for me? I remember not being put into teams. I was short and into invention ideas. I was not into reality neither because of my Toxic and Money Demon abusive parents. This has me crying. I am 44 and jobless once again!!!!!
I'm so weird but I hide it. I dismiss conversations so fast. Lol. I just want to be me. I need to find one of these girls.
same here 😩
The research on ASD in boys needs to be polled and a standalone study with more detail needs to be done on girls with ASD because as a transgender girl growing up with learning disabilities I fell through the cracks in every direction because I never typically was like any boy growing up I was more like one of the girls and now I’m realizing as an adult at 56 years old that I may have autism and I’m going to be working and getting tested for enough and official diagnosis because I also have multiple mental health disorders that have surfaced in the last four years when I started my transition as well the disorders that I have are borderline personality disorder bipolar to PTSD generalized anxiety disorder major depressive disorder insomnia and dissociative identity disorder and I think that’s all of them but once I go to read testing all of my May be changing when I get retested for all of my mental health disorders when I also get re-why also get tested for ASD and I also have learning disabilities and mild MR as well and imagine going through your entire life not knowing any of this or realizing it until years old as I am so my life has been a train wreck and I wish I do and had better help growing up things could’ve ended up a lot differently for me also I am legally blind born with cataracts now I can only see light and shadow because of glaucoma and yes I was also a foster child growing up until age 14 when I was adopted by my foster parents falling through the cracks I hold the definition of that
This study should be done with teen girls.
How does one get diagnosed?
I feel that I have it (female, age 38) but I have also had a tumultuous life since birth full of a variety of abuse & uncertainty. I can’t tell if my symptoms match autism because I am indeed autistic or they’re just due to all the abuse & upheaval in my life.
"peer perspective" YEAH YOU THINK???? This can also head bullying off at the pass
I have asd and I'm a girl
my ex-girlfriend has autism and she never tried to hide it because she couldnt
If they really want to understand autistic people's difficulties then why don't they just ask them? I'm sick of being studied like a lab rat and told what's good for me.
I DON'T WANT TO BE JOINT ENGAGED.
Am I the only girl with autism here who has no problem making small talk or friends?
NTs can be awful to NDs. Even children can sense if someone is different and not allow the ND to be part of the group. Or bully them. Maybe a better approach would be to teach the NT how to be decent humans instead of trying to figure out how to force ND to spend more time where they aren't welcome.
I have pdd nos
Please professionally educate DR MAXWELL in MA that female ASD is real. He said he doesn’t “buy it”........ yeah.......... these are my drs........ I have tried for years
3/4 of the video is you explaining your method ...its boring, just conclusion please
The most boring conference ever made!