Boyfriend Tries the WORST Foods of Middle Earth
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Please don't try raw fish at home. I am not legally responsible for any parasites or broken spirits caused by the recipes in this video.
In this video I make the worst foods that Middle Earth has to offer and spring them on an unsuspecting citizen. Leave a like, subscribe, and comment if you would try any of these foods!
Citations available upon request!
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Instagram: / parttimehobbit
Recipes:
1:05 Gollums Sashimi
Ingredients:
One (1) Whole fish
1. Tenderize fish well.
2. Serve with salt if desired.
4:14 Eowyn's Fish Stew
Ingredients:
1/2 Leek
2 tbsp Lard
1 Turnip, peeled
1/2 cup Goat's milk
1 1/4 cup Water
1 cup shredded Perch
1. Roughly chop vegetables.
2. Heat lard in a small saucepan, add leeks.
3. Cook over painfully high heat until leeks soften.
4. Stir in turnips.
5. Add goat milk and water, stir to combine.
6. Boil until soft and miserable, approx 30 min
7. Add Perch. Boil until cooked, approx 10 min
9:42 Orc Grog
Ingredients
2 oz Warm Water
2 oz Rum
1 oz Red Wine Vinegar
1 oz Molasses
2 Slices Bacon
1. Place all ingredients in mixer, sans ice.
2. Shake well.
3. Burn bacon strips.
4. Chop bacon into a fine powder.
5. Dip rim of glass in red wine vinegar.
6. Roll through bacon crumbs.
7. Pour and serve.
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My stomach muscles are actually sore from laughing so hard.
For some reason, the funniest part was Gollum’s fish.
ditto
You forgot one key ingredient I caught on an HD viewing of Eowyns fish stew: a massive red hair. Part of thinks it’s to further illustrate how bad a cook she is, and part of me wants to believe it’s part a rohirrim love spell
For some reason, I always imagined that the soup would taste like clam chowder that someone mixed sea water into. It's a startling revelation that it actually tastes like nothing
You know, I considered taking it in the "overly salty" direction, but decided against it. Maybe next time I can use seawater
@@Jess_of_the_Shire please do not use seawater. Seawater can be infested with bacteria and I would not like you to get sick. Unless you were kidding
Should have sang the “so juicy sweet” song from the movie as you pounded the fish.
I was planning on doing that, but I was too filled with fish-associated horror...
The next time you flavor your orc grog with molasses, go full Sauron and use black strap molasses for that extra-burned flavor profile! Goes great with bacon! I imagine!
You make a compelling point...of course, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get Dillon to taste it again
Why not anise seed? Aka black licorice flavor?
I always thought Orc Grog was Red Bull or some other energy drink
Considering the "invigorating" properties of the grog; use hot water mixed with redwine vinegar and rum, and filter it through extremely strong coffee. This will help achieve the chocolaty color and give it a caffeinated kick. Afterwards as a teaspoon of black strap molasses to sweeten it ever so slightly.
Edit: For the full effect, after disolving the molasses in the grog, shake regularly until it reaches room temperature, or just put it in a paintmixer.
@@ingold1470 VodkaE is just for the berserker 😂
I love seeing the ring light reflected in his glasses
I ate the raw fish, then I died and got rejected by Mandos to enter his hall due to my stupidity. I now just walk around the Southlands planning to make a certain ring and also to make sure a very specific human kingdom sinks into the ocean.
hmmm, you remind me of someone I read about once...
@@Jess_of_the_Shire yes guessed it. I am Denethor
When "Hello darkness, my old friend" came in I literally lost it. My family is making fun of me because I can't keep it together. You guys are gold.
Thanks for bringing tears to my eyes, to both of you! I'm not entirely sure but i think Eowyn cooks some sort of lamb stew, that's why its so "fatty" 😄
It is nice that he is so supportive and encouraging! 😂
Not sure how she does it but Jess makes sadism kinda adorable.
You two are positively delightful. Just remember, Eowyn was that bad a cook and still landed Faramir. Kicking Nazgul ass far outweighed anything else. Besides, they could no doubt afford a chef.
I bet you could whip up a mean biscuit of cram if you put your mind to it.
That’s how you know he’s a keeper Jess, he takes keen interest in the things that interest you.
I always thought Eowyn’s soup was literally just water and boiled fat. And maaaaybe a small amount of whatever herb could be scrounged nearby on the road
more likely, after all she is a shield maiden not a cook
Yes me too, was surprised about the fish
Bits of a horse that had died on the march and some grass to make it look a little more interesting.
I can identify. Eating, three times a day none the less, is a bad habit my parents got me into, and I have been unable to break it to this very day.
Dedication to the cause....... Or a cruel and unusual punishment? Now you decide
I am laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my cheeks! I was sewing in front of this video and just had to stop with how much I laughed. This is hysterical, a masterpiece of bad cooking and evil creativity. The stew made me laugh especially hard because it's unfortunately close to how I cook on a daily basis if left to my own devices: tasteless and miserable. Also, shoutout to your boyfriend's sacrifice! his impression of Aragorn eating the stew is worth an oscar.
the editing in this video especially was SO funny
Thanks! I'm having a lot of fun getting to play around with it
I can imagine the orc grog actually being pretty good with about half the vinegar and a quarter of the molasses.
Personally can't wait for the follow up vlog of Dillon's trip to the hospital
Coming out on his channel asap
@8:12 I started singing "Hello darkness my ol' friend" before the song began.
I like each of you separately, and I love watching you two together!
Funnily enough salt water fish are the fish that's safest for sashimi! Parasites found in salt water fish rarely survive being frozen, while the parasite from fresh water fish often can survive freezing, the exception being the fish that move from one to the other like trout and salmon
Yeah I was confused when he said that lol
“Can’t take his draught!”
“Do you feel closer to the magic?”
I remember back when the Return of the King movie was about to be released, my brother and friend and I decided to make Lembas bread. We found a random recipe online and attempted it...I don't know what happened, but what turned out was not the delightful little squares of unleavened bread like in the movies, but instead a thick, dark orange cake that smelled like a horse stable...I guess it was closer to maggoty bread than anything.
4:56 Bruh how dull is your knife! 😂😂
Excellent video! I’ve been really happy to find this channel!! As a marine biologist though, I am legally obligated to inform you for future reference, freshwater fish have just as much (if not more depending on where they are caught) parasites as saltwater fish. What makes a fish sushi grade (edible in its raw state) is the gutting and chilling procedure performed after capture, and this can be different for different fish!
Your boyfriend is a fuckin' champion lol. Hilarious video, thanks for the laughs.
I gagged when I saw him eat the lard. Just no. I'm straight up gagging for this entire video.
First time I've commented on your videos, and I have to say I LOVED this one! I was doubled over with laughter 😂 You and the bf have wonderful chemistry, you both make a very nice couple.
Fun fact: do you know that grog is short for Good Rum Or Grog? G-R-O-G? If you didn't, now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
I always assumed that was a lump of fat in the soup, or maybe spek as we call it in Central Europe. I once had a very similar soup in Moscow...and my reaction was the same!
Actually, I thought your soup looked pretty good...perhaps some carrots? ...and salt?
Oooh, the lump of fat would have been good (by that I mean bad) I'll have to try it with that next time!
And honestly, with some broth and a little less lard, I think it would have been pretty good!
I assumed it was a chunk of mushy bread. So many historical recipes are just ways to make stale bread edible again.
It was cartilage, as in, from the end of a bone.
We need to change his name to Dylan cause that’s the proper way lol
Alton Brown says that counters are great multitaskers
**looks at the thumbnail and remembers back to High School French** Oh! Some "pain" sounds delicious!
Jess, I'm very surprised you did not know this ... Eowyn's stew was NOT a prop! That was one of the menu items being distributed by the catering service at the shooting location. That's what many of the cast and crew were actually served! It was so horrid that they decided to use it in the actual scenes.
I always thought that fish soup looked kinda good and made a version myself once. I thought how could you have missed that up until this video and I realized, oh, I guess they couldn’t just pop down to Safeway lol
This episode is freaking hilarious and I’m only 4 mins in 😂
Wonderful! Next time Baldrick's Filet Mignon in Sauce Bernaise, Plum-Duff and Cream-Custard please.
For Fantasy-Fans I highly recommend Nanny Ogg's Cook-Book by Terry Pratchett. Particularly the concept of Dwarf-Bread, a sort of Discworld Lambas, which can keep you nourished for weeks because Dwarf-Bread being the only alternative makes people exceedingly creative about what else you can eat.
Myself I prefer the Librarian's recipe for bananas and Leonard of Quirm's cheese-sandwich.
Typical fish parasites do not bother people. You could have used horse milk. Note: rumor has it that ice cream may have originated with horse milk being churned by the Moguls riding .
For SCIENCE!!! Okay, that was really charming, and wonderful playing it up. I had to stop doing what I was doing on the side several times because of laughing so much.
However, as a retired chef with international influences and a mixed heritage myself, I can assure you that people around the world eat "delicacies" that are for more repugnant to the typical ameri-brit palette than anything you did here.
For example, just see if you can find someone to make you real traditional lutefisk, haggis, limberger, pickled whale blubber, or dry-popped grubs. As for drink, try kumis (a version of which I still consume to this day), or Jagermeister or traditional absinthe straight. One of my shamanic elixirs is SO bad, even I would never drink it unless it was necessary to keep me from going straight-up insane from certain kinds of harmonic communions... which it probably has... or maybe it didn't...
Anyway, thanks for making such a fun video and being such sports about it.
It has been a long time since I have had such a wonderful full on just cannot stop laugh. Thank you, Jess and Dillon.
P.S. you get much better flavor from the fish if you beat it bare against a rock instead of bagged against kitchen counter 🤪.
I think Peter Jackson specifically made Rohan look scandinavian. In the books It's anglo-saxon. Which was basically a Scandinavian adjacent culture. But Peter Jackson definitely went hard on the nordic theme. Their main theme is played on a hardanger fiddle. A norwegian instrument.
I want to fill a whole water skin with that grog and see how far I can run!
He's going back for more!
I have GOT to make that orc grog for my lady, I’m sure she will love it ❤
You guys are so funny. I had such a good time watching! Can’t wait to see more from you
Thanks so much!! :)
I don't know if I'd want to be Part Time Hobbit's boyfriend if it means drinking that
The reason golem beat the fish on the rock was to kill it not tenderize. I have tried raw fresh trout and it had no flavor.
Year late and a farthing short, but... got the fish thing backwards. Ocean fish are generally safe(r) to eat raw. Freshwater fish are much more prone to parasites. That's why sashimi is made with species such as tuna. =)
Yup. Important to get that right.
I see the ring in his eyes
What’s taters precious… what’s taters?
The fish soup makes me think of something they'd serve up in the Pathfinder town of Etran's Folly. With a stein of turnip ale on the side. Delicious? Lol
Dillon is just like I mean it’s like painful and makes me want to vomit but I’ll take a few more drinks. 😂
we're gonna need a walfare check on saint dylan after this video
Love this episode, you have done amazingly. How many days did it take for hims to recover 😅
This is one of the funniest videos that I've watched in a good long while!
This Was Hilarious! Great creativity in making truly bad food
😂 your bf was like “this is my moment!”
"If this is love, take it from me please! Why does it hurt so much!?"
Kind of surprised when making the 'grog' you used molasses as I was expecting beet juice, in keeping with the theme. :D
Unexpected Norm is best Norm. I didn't even know he was sick
I love your channel! This video was both hilarious and weirdly scientific. Sharing with my LOTR group immediately. Thank you and Dylan for making my day better. 🤣
🤣😆🤣 - To knowledge!!
I thought this was cute. Just came across your channel, and as a Tolkien enthusiast, I am appreciating your content and its originality.
I'm amazed he survived his first thirteen years without ever eating! I also seem to remember Gollum eating a worm and was eagerly waiting for you to serve him a nice plump and juicy earthworm. 😂
This was my favorite video you made so far! 😆
Your soup actually looks pretty good, unlike what whatsHerFace made in the movie.
I hope Dillon is still alive.
This is the opposite of Dungeon Meshi
i always thought a trout would be more mystery mountain
Happy Birthday! I would say your man is a good catch but I'm afraid after what you did to the fishy. LOL
As a Tolkien geek going back to the 1970s, and someone who read almost everything available by or about Tolkien back then, I'm pretty sure that Tolkien based the people of Rohan on the Anglo-Saxon peoples (all of their names are based on Old English), not Scandinavian. The One Ring wiki mentions this as well. For shame! ;-)
I had assumed you'd be single by the end of the video.
Now I'm just afraid of your boyfriend.
Reminds me if my own cooking. Maybe, just maybe, I should have paid attention in the Home Economics cooking part of my high school career.
Keep him
I adore this channel, and this is my favorite video if yours
Orc grog, it tastes awful, and it works
Laughing so hard 🤣😂
Thanks for this!!
I'm glad you enjoyed!!
I like Dylan. He got as far with the Hobbit Movies as I did.
i'm a year late to this but oh my goodness i adore your videos so much!!!
also why did i always think orc 'grog' was literally just blood wow this makes things much better
I thought the grog was more like herbs and alcohol, mixed... a foul tasting medicine, after all.
Try to get rid of your gas cooker, I just learned that cooking with gas is completely unregulated in terms of air pollution, and it's like having a chain smoker in the house blowing smoke on every meal you cook, only you don't notice because it doesn't smell that badly.
Adorable.
So... two years on, is Dillon still a glutton for punishment, or is he hanging around with Lembas-girl now? Inquiring minds want to know.
A lot of European recopies were made by substituting potatoes for turnips, so that's appropriate.
Horse milk would have worked for the soup. Mongols also used to ferment it...
He is hilarious.
What fun. The camera work was quite good.
I love this! Please do some more LOTR or Harry Potter themed? I love your commitment to accuracy- the vegetables you use (turnips because of the grassy plains) and even spotting the goat!
rabbit stew, but without taters
I think Orc Grog should just be "Bäska Droppar". A pretty atrocious wormwood bitter. It would definitely explain how disgusting it seemed. Edit: Wormwood Is also antiparasitical. And orcs eat alot of nasty meat. So it makes perfect sense that it was actually a wormwood tincture or something similar.
LET! DILLON! EAT! THE! FISH!
Fine, then you can be the one to take him to the hospital
@@Jess_of_the_Shire Deal
I thought for sure the soup was a sort of cooked dough soup, not sure where i got that from but i think it's an old dish?
Hmmm, probably the fifth of your videos it sent me to watch over the last day; nice coincidence for Valentine's Day.
I always like what I cook over a campfire. Things that can be slow cooked in a cheap, disposable aluminum tray is the best. Just close enough to the fire that I can lift the foil off and see that whatever inside is getting hot enough to boil water, that sort of thing.
Never really done it that way, but maybe cooking bacon (just for the sake of bacon) would be the proper first step if you ever want any oil to cook anything in.
Happy Valentine's Day, and birthday as per the video. :D
I'm glad the algorithm's been sending my videos your way! Your comments have been such a joy to read.
I definitely need to do more camping so I can do some more camping cooking. As is, I just immediately enter panic mode, which isn't conducive to productive work haha
@@Jess_of_the_Shire Oh yeah. I was meaning to add, since the fish in this video reminded me: my favorite camping go-to is just taking a bag of the cheapest frozen white fish, toss it in one of those tin pans, maybe add some spices or whatever else, and just pour in some lemon juice and wait for it to fall apart, and it's perfect in my book... and you pretty much can't do it wrong!
Someone I frequently camp with likes to bring bananas, cook 'em similarly, split them open (the peel kinda serves as a bowl), pour some honey on... it's almost too sweet for me.
(What was it that you cooked while camping that didn't turn out right? I guess it can be hard to get some meats just right.)
@@TransRoofKorean Oooh, I'll have to give the fish a try, that sounds delicious. The bananas too!
And I'm pretty sure it was just burgers, lol. There were a lot of issues with my fire so things were either burning or not cooking at all, but we didn't get food poisoning, so I consider it a success
@@Jess_of_the_Shire It's strange how difficult burgers can be to cook...
I realized one thing I need to get is one of those burger-shaper things. Mine tend to fall apart when I make 'em by hand to grill.
-_-
I want that drink, I also like sushi :) oh and chowda...
The drink one looks like the time I made homemade gravy because we didn’t have any but I didn’t have Worcestershire sauce so I had to make that too but I forgot to read how much to add so I added all of it and it was nasty.
I think cram should have been included, if only for the less-than-appetizing name! Also, IIRC lembas is described as "much better than cram by all accounts,"
this was great!
Brilliant!!