Rita, your system is the most helpful fashion system. Period. I am so grateful that you came up with it. It is such a gift for the world! Thank you so much!
Btw you guys, my beautiful baby girl was born on 7/24 ❤️ birthing a human is CRAZY - we are both doing great 🌞 (video prepared before my leave of course in case u get worried about me )
I have been considering myself "unworthy" of ethereal feminine & elegant styles. Now, more than a year after Rita helped me find my style key 💜🔑, and more years of cautious exploring before that, this negative thought pattern has become alien to me. I am intuitively oulled to such styles, and the pull is strong, and when i give in to it - it feels incredible 🧚♀️👸
Very interesting! I'll add to your list of 'weird' women from past decades that I've admired - Bjork, Kate Bush, Annie Lennox, Janis Joplin, and actually loads more!
I think you're discussing a topic very few fashion commentators ever touch on. I love that you include examples of how to think out of the box based on your current style, and I really hope you occasionally return to this topic!
The lessons about finding a solid sense of self and accepting who you are in this was not what I expected, but very appreciated! I think I have a bad habit of “having my foot on the brake pedal” as you put it and have not been myself all out for a long time now. Love seeing it applied to fashion as well!
I love this topic! It’s something you’re such a genius at explaining - how style really can expand us to our full selves. For me, the style piece that I’m working on is ridiculousness. Like, I’ve mastered the sensual and body conscious, and the powerful aspect of dressing. But true confidence would be sharing that I’m in on the joke. That feels like adding something supremely “extra” to my outfit every day so it might even border on bad style, whatever that means. 😀 Thank you for this challenge!
Thank you so much for this. I tried to make myself more palatable for others for years, I've finally embraced the fact that I just might be "too much" for a lot of people. I'm a therapist and a personal stylist, so the emphasis on authenticity is crucial for my walk through the world.
Great timing I am currently exploring ruby after forcing myself to dress and think more up because it felt like that was expected this us a great excercise to play this week and get in touch with me
Very curvy. (Probably considered a figure "8" but short.) Afraid to show curves (and to an extent I don't like them and feel uncomfortable). But then I wear these boxy clothes and feel so frumpy. Feels like a catch 22. I also have SO MUCH information, but can't seem to figure out how to apply it.
Have you tried clothing that sits closer to the body without being tight? I'm not a figure 8 but I look best in fitted clothing and yet don't feel comfortable in it. "Honoring" the curves vs showing them off sits better with me personally, pieces that gently skim the silhouette, and no creating any bulk in the midsection
My "too much" is that I would always want to go on and on about my "special" fandom (it changes, but at a very slow pace that feels "rushed" by "the world"). My negative feelings about it are that it looks like "trash." I wouldn't choose to define myself by talking-about-fandoms making me happy because I view it as having no "value," although I really enjoy the company of people like that and I don't feel like they have no value, because they do to me. It's more like in me vs. the rest of the world, I feel like interesting people define value as sharing this "me"-ness with them that's more "original" or "individual." In style, what I put the brakes on is a burning desire to imitate!!!!! I am happiest when things are SPECIFIC, never "off-brand" and "we have food at home," and definitely no T-shirts ever! I want things that are more fantastical than I actually feel comfortable and like I look natural in, and I want them to represent things other than "me." So, "authenticity" is a standard I struggle with, although it's not that I feel like it's difficult for me to produce lots of it, more like that's my default/first place that I'm trying to move from/childhood home that I never want to see again, and just that it's part of people reading my ideal expression as some kind of bad "fakeness," although of course the kind of social media posters whom "authenticity" is a reaction against aren't fans of it either. The ideal life I imagine is something like a method actor I read about telling their friends how they were speaking with a different accent because they had to practice it for a role. Of course, even those who make it as an actor don't just have lives that inherently create that all the time. "Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman"--in "real life," Batman isn't always on the table, but the reason I like style is that style is a place where it is, because anything is possible, right? The "gift" version of my "too much" that I'm seeing right now is "performance." I suspect Rita and some readers would have a different view.
Congratulations ! This video reminded me of being short of breath at the end of my pregnancy, so I was wondering when you recorded it. I wish all the best for this new chapter :) Love the video too. So insightful, almost like therapy. All the best
Hmmm. I want to put my thoughts down here before I lose them. I’m 67. I’m a fairly intelligent and nurturing woman but I also have a sensual side I have trouble bringing this combination forth in expression and I can really feel self conscious about the hot babe side of me. How can you be a hot babe and a nurturing and wise grandmother at the same time? Even typing this embarrasses me . Help!
We often think of hot babe as a 20 year old. Which older hot babes are you drawn to and how do they do it? I think maybe uncoupling our idea of a hot babe with age. And being a hot babe at any age. And that can look different. …. I think;)
Giving advice on this is beyond me but I just wanted to say that as someone in my 20s I think that sounds really cool and I hope you can embrace and express both parts of yourself 💖
I want to echo what other people have said, I think it is so aspirational to feel both wise and sensual at your age - which I hope to live to! I don't think these are mutually contradictory things. It is always said confidence comes with age and that security in your body that makes you in touch with the carnal and sensual side of it is a form of wisdom that you have also earned. You could consider, which parts of your body do you want to highlight? and simply go for it, and if there are parts you don't want to highlight you can cover them. For instance if you really love your throat and cleavage, low necklines or v-necks, necklaces if you like them, etc, are still available to you - but if you don't want something tight you could go for something looser and more form-skimming. Perhaps you feel self-conscious because you are aware that in a more restrictive society women are only supposed to show off their bodies during a narrow time in their lives - but that isn't a fair rule, and many of the people who might judge you, if that is your fear, would be doing so out of envy that that still feel boxed in and unable to give themselves the same permission to be comfortable with their bodies.
Hm.. I rest in both "problem" areas, but probably to a greater extent of not being enough! I very often struggle with comparing my outfits to others (often visibly Up) people, and feeling like my style reads shallow or one dimensional. I feel like I do want to be more out there with style potentially, but that I am not enough to really push my own envelope.
Congrats on baby arriving! Take all the time you need. I think for me my challenge/gift has to do with richness/lushness -appearing too sensual or too much jewelry that are linked to my culture- and rigor- I don’t do feminine in the girly sense. I am very intellectual. Can be quite cold when angry and I can win almost any argument based on rigorous debate. The “norm” or a norm are BIPOC women in academia for me. But I don’t do bright colors or overly ethnic wear. And sometimes my style almost reinforces my authentic self “too much” - esp as a queer woman too. But. Leaning into it!!!!!! Helpful to put words on this.
Rita, your system is the most helpful fashion system. Period. I am so grateful that you came up with it. It is such a gift for the world! Thank you so much!
thank you
Btw you guys, my beautiful baby girl was born on 7/24 ❤️ birthing a human is CRAZY - we are both doing great 🌞
(video prepared before my leave of course in case u get worried about me )
woooow! so much love for you and your family✨🫶🏻♥️
Congratulations! ❤
Congratulations on the arrival of your daughter! ❤
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I’m so happy you are both doing well.
Congratulations!
I have been considering myself "unworthy" of ethereal feminine & elegant styles. Now, more than a year after Rita helped me find my style key 💜🔑, and more years of cautious exploring before that, this negative thought pattern has become alien to me. I am intuitively oulled to such styles, and the pull is strong, and when i give in to it - it feels incredible 🧚♀️👸
That’s so wonderful! How has this affected your life as you’re showing up in a way that feels natural and pleasurable?
I feel you. I always thought I could not be an ethereal magical person, though that’s what I felt like internally.
Warmest congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Lucky you. Lucky her!
Very interesting! I'll add to your list of 'weird' women from past decades that I've admired - Bjork, Kate Bush, Annie Lennox, Janis Joplin, and actually loads more!
I think you're discussing a topic very few fashion commentators ever touch on. I love that you include examples of how to think out of the box based on your current style, and I really hope you occasionally return to this topic!
The lessons about finding a solid sense of self and accepting who you are in this was not what I expected, but very appreciated! I think I have a bad habit of “having my foot on the brake pedal” as you put it and have not been myself all out for a long time now. Love seeing it applied to fashion as well!
I love this topic! It’s something you’re such a genius at explaining - how style really can expand us to our full selves. For me, the style piece that I’m working on is ridiculousness. Like, I’ve mastered the sensual and body conscious, and the powerful aspect of dressing. But true confidence would be sharing that I’m in on the joke. That feels like adding something supremely “extra” to my outfit every day so it might even border on bad style, whatever that means. 😀 Thank you for this challenge!
Thank you so much for this. I tried to make myself more palatable for others for years, I've finally embraced the fact that I just might be "too much" for a lot of people. I'm a therapist and a personal stylist, so the emphasis on authenticity is crucial for my walk through the world.
Great timing I am currently exploring ruby after forcing myself to dress and think more up because it felt like that was expected this us a great excercise to play this week and get in touch with me
This might be my favorite video of yours! This concept is so simple yet super empowering and made so much click for me
You have a very nice way to explain things. I like it.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Very curvy. (Probably considered a figure "8" but short.) Afraid to show curves (and to an extent I don't like them and feel uncomfortable). But then I wear these boxy clothes and feel so frumpy. Feels like a catch 22. I also have SO MUCH information, but can't seem to figure out how to apply it.
Have you tried clothing that sits closer to the body without being tight? I'm not a figure 8 but I look best in fitted clothing and yet don't feel comfortable in it. "Honoring" the curves vs showing them off sits better with me personally, pieces that gently skim the silhouette, and no creating any bulk in the midsection
Love this video SO much, we can all use this reminder time to time, what a fun exercise in self care too
My "too much" is that I would always want to go on and on about my "special" fandom (it changes, but at a very slow pace that feels "rushed" by "the world"). My negative feelings about it are that it looks like "trash." I wouldn't choose to define myself by talking-about-fandoms making me happy because I view it as having no "value," although I really enjoy the company of people like that and I don't feel like they have no value, because they do to me. It's more like in me vs. the rest of the world, I feel like interesting people define value as sharing this "me"-ness with them that's more "original" or "individual." In style, what I put the brakes on is a burning desire to imitate!!!!! I am happiest when things are SPECIFIC, never "off-brand" and "we have food at home," and definitely no T-shirts ever! I want things that are more fantastical than I actually feel comfortable and like I look natural in, and I want them to represent things other than "me." So, "authenticity" is a standard I struggle with, although it's not that I feel like it's difficult for me to produce lots of it, more like that's my default/first place that I'm trying to move from/childhood home that I never want to see again, and just that it's part of people reading my ideal expression as some kind of bad "fakeness," although of course the kind of social media posters whom "authenticity" is a reaction against aren't fans of it either. The ideal life I imagine is something like a method actor I read about telling their friends how they were speaking with a different accent because they had to practice it for a role. Of course, even those who make it as an actor don't just have lives that inherently create that all the time. "Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman"--in "real life," Batman isn't always on the table, but the reason I like style is that style is a place where it is, because anything is possible, right? The "gift" version of my "too much" that I'm seeing right now is "performance." I suspect Rita and some readers would have a different view.
Congratulations ! This video reminded me of being short of breath at the end of my pregnancy, so I was wondering when you recorded it. I wish all the best for this new chapter :) Love the video too. So insightful, almost like therapy. All the best
Lol omg yes I COULD NOT BREATHE here it was legit week 39 or something absurd ✨
Another thought provoking video 😍
Thank you ❤❤❤
Happy for you and your family ♥♥♥🧸
Found so much value in your two steps. Thank you!
Great video!
Hmmm. I want to put my thoughts down here before I lose them. I’m 67. I’m a fairly intelligent and nurturing woman but I also have a sensual side I have trouble bringing this combination forth in expression and I can really feel self conscious about the hot babe side of me. How can you be a hot babe and a nurturing and wise grandmother at the same time? Even typing this embarrasses me . Help!
We often think of hot babe as a 20 year old. Which older hot babes are you drawn to and how do they do it? I think maybe uncoupling our idea of a hot babe with age. And being a hot babe at any age. And that can look different. …. I think;)
Giving advice on this is beyond me but I just wanted to say that as someone in my 20s I think that sounds really cool and I hope you can embrace and express both parts of yourself 💖
I want to echo what other people have said, I think it is so aspirational to feel both wise and sensual at your age - which I hope to live to! I don't think these are mutually contradictory things. It is always said confidence comes with age and that security in your body that makes you in touch with the carnal and sensual side of it is a form of wisdom that you have also earned. You could consider, which parts of your body do you want to highlight? and simply go for it, and if there are parts you don't want to highlight you can cover them. For instance if you really love your throat and cleavage, low necklines or v-necks, necklaces if you like them, etc, are still available to you - but if you don't want something tight you could go for something looser and more form-skimming. Perhaps you feel self-conscious because you are aware that in a more restrictive society women are only supposed to show off their bodies during a narrow time in their lives - but that isn't a fair rule, and many of the people who might judge you, if that is your fear, would be doing so out of envy that that still feel boxed in and unable to give themselves the same permission to be comfortable with their bodies.
I’ve only worn black and purple for the last two years. No one’s commented yet!
Hm.. I rest in both "problem" areas, but probably to a greater extent of not being enough! I very often struggle with comparing my outfits to others (often visibly Up) people, and feeling like my style reads shallow or one dimensional. I feel like I do want to be more out there with style potentially, but that I am not enough to really push my own envelope.
I stan d caption on d thumbnail . It was d reason why i followed dis channel in d first place too.
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Congrats on baby arriving! Take all the time you need. I think for me my challenge/gift has to do with richness/lushness -appearing too sensual or too much jewelry that are linked to my culture- and rigor- I don’t do feminine in the girly sense. I am very intellectual. Can be quite cold when angry and I can win almost any argument based on rigorous debate. The “norm” or a norm are BIPOC women in academia for me. But I don’t do bright colors or overly ethnic wear. And sometimes my style almost reinforces my authentic self “too much” - esp as a queer woman too. But. Leaning into it!!!!!! Helpful to put words on this.
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