"Your too young to understand" ... I understand more than you think. I understand how cruel and broken the world is I understand how toxic and hurtful someone can be but when im begging for help im js being over dramatic. You weren't there for me when I needed you and you don't know what I have been through the past 4 years, when i was sitting on the bathroom floor crying till i couldn't anymore, lying in my bed praying to god i wouldn't wake up the next morning, im sorry im not good enough for you, i hate how i look, act, and am... I just want some love but apparently its too much to ask for. Sorry im such a disappointment.
Me bc he sexually exploited me, verbally abused me, damaged me to the point of c-ptsd (and I think I may possibly have either DID or OSDD but I’m not entirely sure and I don’t think so) and yet ppl still like him and ppl hate me for being autistic, and even the ppl who know what he’s done to me still like him bc they find him funny: 😻
SOMEONE HELP he just asked me out on a beach date and after we are going back to his to see his horses and dogs omg. i love him sm, and he is so sweet, he would never hurt anyone. i love the way he looks at me, his passion for animals, his eyes, his hair, his imperfections, his MUSCLUES, his sport, when he listens to me yap. i like him sm
2:54 I wish you would understand that I knew how fake you were and yet I still stayed, even after I heard you and your other friends talking crap about me, the way you blatantly ignored me, the way I’d watch you whisper to your other friends and laugh at me. I’ve finally left and you tried to ask me what is wrong. Now you don’t care and you’ll do it to someone else, maybe someone who doesn’t have the decency to still be kind to you after all you’ve done
2:56 if you can see this,just know that I love you. With all my heart. All I want to know is why you’re not speaking to me,yet you smile at me everyday,look at me and your friends said “make a move. You like her,she likes you back so come on!”
(doing the same thing here, just making it a thread) she wasn't supposed to do that to you. she wasn't supposed to hurt you. not like that. not any other way. she shouldn't have. I'm glad you let me fix you when you broke, and I'm glad I wasn't the one doing all the fixing. I hate the scars she left on you that could only be seen in the way you held me, the way your hands rested on my skin. I appreciate that you did it, but I hate that she's the reason you only ever started at "yes" and "I'm certain" and "I trust you, go ahead". I love to see you care so much about it, but I hate knowing that big reason why. I hate that she made you care, that she made you take care of her, that she made you love her. I hate that she did all that and then stuck that metaphorical knife in you, twisted it, told you you did it yourself and "don't blame me for your s/h, you're such a bad girlfriend", and made it so hard to leave. I hate that she made you believe that she was the only person who would ever love you, that she alienated you from the rest of our friends for so long. I hate that her alienation stuck so deep with you that you didn't even tell me when it happened. I hate knowing that you weren't even the only one she did it to. And I think what I hate worst of all is that she wasn't even the only person to do those things to you. You never deserved any of that from any of them. And to anyone else who might be going through something similar right now: I know it can be really hard, I know it can really hurt, but I promise it's hurting you more to be with them. It will get better when you get away from them. They can't hurt you forever. You can do this, you can get out, you can leave. It will start hard, but it will get easier, I promise.
"broken crayons still colour" yeah, but only because we're forced to. only because no one is willing to help us take our broken pieces, melt ourselves down and remold ourselves. only because no one is willing to help us heal. no one's even going to tell us how to start. we might colour a bit differently and we might be a bit of a different shape or shade, but we're still the same crayon.
hi there. first of all i want to give you a virtual hug 🫂. i think your doing amazing already, though you may not feel like it and i am proud of you. and i have actually felt the way you do before. i want to say that i think you are important and have a purpose, you just haven’t been able to be free yet. i want to also say that while i know this feeling feels permanent, it won’t be forever. you will be able to be free and find your happiness. sorry i don’t have much to offer, but i hope this helped a little bit. stay strong ml ❤
you know, I'm just some random girl in the world that happens to read your comment, but I just have to tell you that you remind me how I was like 2 years ago. I was like "I hate 2022, I want to end it all" but then I stayed strong and look, I'm here, and I'm feeling better. I just thought about all the amazing things you can do only if you're alive. I don't know if it would help you or not, but I want to say it: you're not alone. But not like "There are people who have it worse" but more like "there are people like you, that are doing like you, that fully support you in this bad moment of your life" so, just making sure, don't you try to give up. Things will get better, I promise, just wait and be strong
26:14 for anyone else who raised their siblings, this is called parentification. Please look it up. It can absolutely destroy the kid who sees you as their parent AND you who was made to be the parent. I know because it happened to me and it's the reason I'm in councilling. My brother doesn't respect our mom because I was more of his mom, but doesn't respect me for the same reasons. My brain tells me that he's my son, but his actions tell me he's a stranger. it destroys your relationships with your siblings and your parents. I know you love them, but that doesn't mean you need to be their parent.
@@RoseQuartz-fe4xv Ty :) idk why but whenever I set a specific date to attempt I forget, but when I don’t, I manage to get up and attempt (all of which failed bc I’m still writing this lmao)
Broke up w my bf he said he’s gonna khs haven’t heard from him since, found a nice guy but I’m not being able to trust him , school sucks I’m falling behind, I just want this to end.
sweetheart, I promise you, you aren't a pig. the way you eat does not define you. the food you eat does not define you. the amount you eat does not define you. your body type and weight do not define you. they can all be important parts of who you are, of your culture and your identity, but they will never be all that you are, and they will never EVER make you disgusting, or a pig, or a bad person.
"Your too young to understand" ...
I understand more than you think.
I understand how cruel and broken the world is
I understand how toxic and hurtful someone can be but when im begging for help im js being over dramatic. You weren't there for me when I needed you and you don't know what I have been through the past 4 years, when i was sitting on the bathroom floor crying till i couldn't anymore, lying in my bed praying to god i wouldn't wake up the next morning, im sorry im not good enough for you, i hate how i look, act, and am... I just want some love but apparently its too much to ask for.
Sorry im such a disappointment.
3:07 I just cried right there that text and video just made my day better
Me bc he sexually exploited me, verbally abused me, damaged me to the point of c-ptsd (and I think I may possibly have either DID or OSDD but I’m not entirely sure and I don’t think so) and yet ppl still like him and ppl hate me for being autistic, and even the ppl who know what he’s done to me still like him bc they find him funny: 😻
I'm sorry thats happening, the people who know and are still supporting him, leave them, they're toxic and don't deserve you ❤
I love you
“What’s your talent?”
Ruining everything
Ruining fucking everything
SOMEONE HELP he just asked me out on a beach date and after we are going back to his to see his horses and dogs omg. i love him sm, and he is so sweet, he would never hurt anyone. i love the way he looks at me, his passion for animals, his eyes, his hair, his imperfections, his MUSCLUES, his sport, when he listens to me yap. i like him sm
we broke up. he said he "loved me" after knowing me for 3 weeks
2:54 I wish you would understand that I knew how fake you were and yet I still stayed, even after I heard you and your other friends talking crap about me, the way you blatantly ignored me, the way I’d watch you whisper to your other friends and laugh at me. I’ve finally left and you tried to ask me what is wrong. Now you don’t care and you’ll do it to someone else, maybe someone who doesn’t have the decency to still be kind to you after all you’ve done
9:59 I feel her
I like how one video said you need to find your Noah. But I miss my Noah. I wish we were together again. I miss my Noah
2:56 if you can see this,just know that I love you. With all my heart. All I want to know is why you’re not speaking to me,yet you smile at me everyday,look at me and your friends said “make a move. You like her,she likes you back so come on!”
(doing the same thing here, just making it a thread)
she wasn't supposed to do that to you. she wasn't supposed to hurt you. not like that. not any other way. she shouldn't have. I'm glad you let me fix you when you broke, and I'm glad I wasn't the one doing all the fixing. I hate the scars she left on you that could only be seen in the way you held me, the way your hands rested on my skin. I appreciate that you did it, but I hate that she's the reason you only ever started at "yes" and "I'm certain" and "I trust you, go ahead". I love to see you care so much about it, but I hate knowing that big reason why. I hate that she made you care, that she made you take care of her, that she made you love her. I hate that she did all that and then stuck that metaphorical knife in you, twisted it, told you you did it yourself and "don't blame me for your s/h, you're such a bad girlfriend", and made it so hard to leave. I hate that she made you believe that she was the only person who would ever love you, that she alienated you from the rest of our friends for so long. I hate that her alienation stuck so deep with you that you didn't even tell me when it happened. I hate knowing that you weren't even the only one she did it to. And I think what I hate worst of all is that she wasn't even the only person to do those things to you. You never deserved any of that from any of them.
And to anyone else who might be going through something similar right now: I know it can be really hard, I know it can really hurt, but I promise it's hurting you more to be with them. It will get better when you get away from them. They can't hurt you forever. You can do this, you can get out, you can leave. It will start hard, but it will get easier, I promise.
I still love you but its too late to say sorry
"broken crayons still colour" yeah, but only because we're forced to. only because no one is willing to help us take our broken pieces, melt ourselves down and remold ourselves. only because no one is willing to help us heal. no one's even going to tell us how to start. we might colour a bit differently and we might be a bit of a different shape or shade, but we're still the same crayon.
7/3/24 - Ok so I deleted it cuz now looking back at it three weeks later It looks like I'm overreacting 💀
but to those two in the replies, ty :)
hi there. first of all i want to give you a virtual hug 🫂. i think your doing amazing already, though you may not feel like it and i am proud of you. and i have actually felt the way you do before. i want to say that i think you are important and have a purpose, you just haven’t been able to be free yet. i want to also say that while i know this feeling feels permanent, it won’t be forever. you will be able to be free and find your happiness. sorry i don’t have much to offer, but i hope this helped a little bit. stay strong ml ❤
@@harrypotterswifey tysm
hugs for u too 🫂
love ur user btw lol
you know, I'm just some random girl in the world that happens to read your comment, but I just have to tell you that you remind me how I was like 2 years ago. I was like "I hate 2022, I want to end it all" but then I stayed strong and look, I'm here, and I'm feeling better. I just thought about all the amazing things you can do only if you're alive. I don't know if it would help you or not, but I want to say it: you're not alone. But not like "There are people who have it worse" but more like "there are people like you, that are doing like you, that fully support you in this bad moment of your life" so, just making sure, don't you try to give up. Things will get better, I promise, just wait and be strong
@@Mooon363 Ty I'm feeling a lil better today 🫂❤ :)
26:14 for anyone else who raised their siblings, this is called parentification. Please look it up. It can absolutely destroy the kid who sees you as their parent AND you who was made to be the parent. I know because it happened to me and it's the reason I'm in councilling. My brother doesn't respect our mom because I was more of his mom, but doesn't respect me for the same reasons. My brain tells me that he's my son, but his actions tell me he's a stranger. it destroys your relationships with your siblings and your parents. I know you love them, but that doesn't mean you need to be their parent.
I agree so much with the video at time 6:34
2:39 lol it get dissowned
2:52 I’m sorry I never noticed, they had no right to do that
June 20th, 2024. Edit: YALL NVM I FORGOT TO KILL MYSELF LMAOOO I LIVE FOR ANOTHER DAY SADLY
Don't. Whatever you're thinking, please. Don't. Please.
Wait that’s today, what happened??
@@EvelynHardmanS oh shit lmao I forgot to kill my self LMAOO
@@Honey_Boba159 I'm so relieved rn omg I was worried
@@RoseQuartz-fe4xv Ty :) idk why but whenever I set a specific date to attempt I forget, but when I don’t, I manage to get up and attempt (all of which failed bc I’m still writing this lmao)
Broke up w my bf he said he’s gonna khs haven’t heard from him since, found a nice guy but I’m not being able to trust him
, school sucks I’m falling behind, I just want this to end.
I’ve barely ate anything the last two days for no reason and I made myself some noodles and I’m eating it like a hog, I feel like such a pig :/
you arent.
sweetheart, I promise you, you aren't a pig. the way you eat does not define you. the food you eat does not define you. the amount you eat does not define you. your body type and weight do not define you. they can all be important parts of who you are, of your culture and your identity, but they will never be all that you are, and they will never EVER make you disgusting, or a pig, or a bad person.
@@emberslime4231 Tysm, this means a lot too me :)
7:18 what’s the prayer?