Aging Out - Vivica Fox and Eboni K. Williams…
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Hey, guys! In this video, I talk about the recent brouhaha over Vivica Fox and Eboni K. Williams after their respective announcements, the harsh criticisms they received and how it was a perfect example of how hard it is for women to age in the age of ageism.
Enjoy! ♥️
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#Inspiration #Motivation #Vlog
Criticizing women seems to be society's favorite pastime. If a woman doesn't get married and have a kid by a certain age, she is deemed past her prime. Yet when a woman chooses to be single and child free - and happy with her decision - people harshly criticize her for that too. A lot of the squawking is coming from men; men who are projecting their own fears and insecurities about being single and lonely. Heck, if billionaire Rupert Murdoch can recently marry his 5th wife at 93 years old, then Vivica can certainly date and seek a mate at 60. I wish her the best of luck.
Eboni was engaged a few years ago, but it didn't work out. Clearly she still wants to be a mom, and I don't think she should give up that dream just because she doesn't have a husband. She has the money and resources needed to take good care of her child, and I don't know why some people are so pressed about this grown woman living her life. May Eboni have a healthy baby, and I wish her and her little one many blessings.
Hey, Es Jay! I totally agree with everything you stated and echo your well wishes towards the two of them. I also love your point about Rupert Murdoch. Indeed! Well said!
@@DolceDawn Thank you! Folks need to leave those two ladies alone.
@@esjay-rh7wx Double AMEN!!
"At the end of the day God is in control " well said. My wife was 34 going on 35, i was 31, didn't even think about age - never even crossed my mind. When you like someone who likes you just the same, its like the whole world just disappears, and time stops - there is no old, young , up or down.
Hey, Brian! I totally agree! I’ve dated older and younger, and neither time did I think about age. Rather, it was how they treated me and how equally yoked we were regarding the important things.
Dolce Dawn,
First and foremost can I say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOUR HAIR IS GORGEOUS! 😍🥰💞🙏🏽😘
I want to just celebrate you, kudos to your parents village , family and loved one's who poured into you being your best self and sharing your insight in life matters. Your candid ability to discern logical things that most cannot comprehend is breathtaking!
You would think that in 2024 that people would grasp a similar thought process and a you've broken these age-ism's down into layman's terms, I'm hopeful that proper will take heed. It's just that simple to live and let live.
I've always been a, "You cannot box me in", thinking type of person. I don't accept stereotypes, astrological signs, etc. I've always gone against the grain so to speak because I don't think like most and I thrive on the fact that I don't.
What I'll say is we live in a world and society that has been indoctrinated to do many things and most are outside of the week of God, Our Heavenly Father and Creator. Due to that fact I'm learning that the Bible is true when it relates to broad is the road that leads to destruction straight is the way narrow is the gate and few that find it.
With that being said, as a believer in Jesus Christ, I'm learning that the perception of others is a direct reflection of who or what they believe in. The scripture says by their fruits you shall know them. It goes on to say no evil tree will best good fruit and no good tree will bear evil fruit.
So that brings us to his we can better understand the logic behind responses. It's a reflection of one's faith. It is a testament to their standards, values and moral compass and most importantly, their integrity or lack there of.
I'm learning to no longer be appalled by other's thoughts that don't align with what should come naturally. I can now only encourage to consider a different way of looking at things, plant a seed and move on.
For years we've heard the song you can lead a core to the water, but you cannot make them drink. I'm starting to accept that some of the cows will not drink the water no matter how dehydrated they are and no matter how much they need the water for their survival.
I only need you to know that I initially stumbled upon your channel because it was a relaxed hair journey. I believe that I was a part of your first round of subscribers? Well, I have to believe your channel is ordained by Our Heavenly Father and Creator because you literally speak to my heart.
I say this because it's not often that I run across someone like minded as myself. I hate to be long-winded, but I must share this testimony as I'm lied to. We are in the year of 2024. This technically means two thousand twenty four years have passed since the first coming of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That's a lot of years. I do believe in the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.
I do know that your channel is not a religious channel, but you do speak a little into your Christianity.
I'm saying this because I realize that as much as we hate to admit it, we who are sealed in God, the true and living God, Author and finisher of our faith are going to watch a lot of people crash and burn literally.
I've been impressed to say this. As much as we desire to have everyone we know and love go, they are making their own choices as God have us the power of choice, therefore no matter how loud we scream, beg, ask, encourage, lead, applaud, cheer the masses, there will only be a few to take heed. The Bible has already declared it.
For this reason, whether you believe it or not, you've just given an altar call. You've laid it out in layman's terms and it's just that simple as what you've just stated.
It's wrapped up in age-ism, but it's reality of life. Why are other's so concerned about other's choices in their life when it's their vice in his they chose to live? Live and let live!
Just the other day I put a video face dance of the same thing sort of, can I live, can I live?!
The world has fooled us all into believing that we must stay as a robot, think, believer and do as what we see on TV, wear what the Celebrities wear, Drive what they drive, do as they do or be in society doing everything out neighbors do and I broke that mold as a child.
I was made to believe I was mentally insane and crazy. Cray, cray! As I listen to you in most of your videos, I'm learning that I'm not crazy as many have pegged me to be. For years, I've been distraught and wondered why am I always ridiculed and made to feel inadequate when all I want is for people to be their best selves and treat other's the way they want to be treated?!
I've only desired for people to love unconditionally and if need be aid and assist where they can. I only desired that people not just use the words they claim to have integrity and are good people sincerely.
I now know that I've found a sister in Christ with you because I agree with so many things you bring to light. My prayer is that everyone who comes into contact with your channel will be in good health and prosper even as thy soul prosper.
I now realize that no matter who doesn't give a response to things I've said over the course of their life that I believed I was not making an impact that I am. I know that I am because you've made an impact on my life more than you can ever imagine and I thank you more than you will ever know. I Love you and appreciate you.
You are a jewel. Again, I thank you.
May God bless you to be in good health and prosper, even as thy soul prosper. 🙏🏽💞🥰
Hey, Mzladee Eunicque! How have you been? Good to hear from you!
Wow, I so appreciate the compliment. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! ♥️ And you’re right- we ARE sisters in Christ for as we are both aligned with the word, so are we aligned with each other. Nothing crazy about that or wanting the best for others and to have what we have - a relationship with Him.
Your words have touched me and I truly thank you for taking the time to share them with me.
Hope you have a wonderfully blessed week. 🙏🏾♥️♥️♥️
Funny enough when Nick Cannon has a plethora or tribe of children, people say well he has the money. But Eboni has the money (one child) and she is condemned. I wonder are the Kardashians judges as harshly or is this a “single black women” issue as it relates to judgement.
Hey, Patricia! Good point and I do think that money/wealth (or the appearance of) definitely plays a part in how and WHO is judged re single parenthood in addition to age as well as gender.
Happy Sunday Dolce ! 👼🏽 Women have been criticized since the beginning of time ⏳. Now with this new "ageism", I say the hell with it all, just be yourself, and live your life according to your own standards. Everyone has their own timetable, some achieve goals/milestones earlier, some later ( as you mentioned Sarah from the Bible). At some point in time we will ALL get older, and the sooner we can get rid of the negativity of ageism, the better off we will be. ( I hear that 60 is the new 40 🤔go Vivica !! ). Life is too short, we only get one life to live, so why not enjoy it and leave all the unnecessary nonsense behind.
Happy Sunday, Sandra! 🌞 LOL!! Wow, you said that with your chest! I love it! And I agree wholeheartedly. Ignore the ageists, be yourself, trust your own timeline and live your life to the fullest. Amen!! 👍🏾🎉
It's okay for women to criticize men though. Women are highly vocal and direct with their disapproval, disdain and disgust when the 40, 50 or 60 yo man dates the 20 something y/o woman but have nothing but praise for old women dating 20 yo men. It works the same way with race. When a Black woman date a man of a different race the sister girls are all besides themselves with encouragement and celebration but show nothing but hate for Black men who do the same. The hypocrisy is certainly real. Let's just live and let live.
@@jamessmith-zk4co I have to disagree and say that both women AND men of our “tribe” freely criticize each other, from who we date, how old they are, what we wear… Men are not typically known to be passive wallflowers and I have yet to meet one with a problem expressing his feelings, disgust, disdain regarding women and many of our “habits”. So, it goes both ways. And the whole Black men dating outside their race is rooted in “trophyism” as well as colorism, as I’m sure you’re well aware, which is why a lot of Black women have such a visceral reaction when they see it. It’s a painful harkening back to worser times. And there will always be those who disapprove miscegenation, including other Black men (*cough* Dr Umar Johnson). But we’ve gotten better. We’ve seen it: Black men and women championing each other in their choices, finding love and living their lives unapologetically. Yes, live and let live.
@@DolceDawn sounds like we agree on this topic more than we disagree. I don't think Black men care when Black women date out side. No Black man had a meltdown of lost his innerds when Gabby Sidebe, Lonnie Love or Serena Williams married White men, other than Umar Johnson. However, It was hell and pandemonium on NFL draft night when the top collegiate football players were seen with their White and Latino girl friends. People should be free to love who they choose according to God's standards.
@@jamessmith-zk4co Well, I have a someone VERY close to me who expressed his dismay at finding out a famous Black actress was married to a white man and when I asked him why, he said he “just didn’t like it”. So, Dr. Umar’s not alone as there are other Black men/people that don’t agree with interracial dating/marriage. But we’re not a monolith, so that’s not surprising. And, again, the Black women that had strong reactions to draft night were drawing from a hurtful, historical place of rejection. But I believe that there’s a slow, but steady healing amongst us that’s happening. Learning to understand and listen to each other and where we’re coming from is key to that healing; not tearing each other down and definitely not debasing each other based on looks and personal choices. At the end of the day, women AND men, we need each other. So, yes, I do think you and I are more aligned in our opinions than not. God, not our opinions, should be the standard. Amen to that.
Anti-aging products do not stop you from aging, aging is inevitable. Anti-aging products help you look good as you age. If you take of your skin starting in your teens, those habits will benefit you into adulthood and as you become older. Yes I do agree that anti aging products are marketed more towards women than men. The majority of men don’t even wash their face, let alone have skincare regimen.
LOL!! Sorry, but I had to laugh at your last statement. But, yes, I agree: anti-aging products definitely do not stop you from aging and the good ones will help you age well. ;0)
If we could up lift each other more than bash one another the world would be a better place. Everyone has their option but we not everything needs to be said.
Hey, ms. chelle! Totally agree. In fact, I just said that today. Not every opinion needs to be shared. It’s OK to keep some things to yourself, especially if it’s not constructive in any way.
Women need to understand that there’s no such thing as preparing to be a wife. You can only be yourself. Wife is nothing but a title. I believe Vivica said she was looking for a partner, not husband. All Vivica can do is become a better version of herself..
Hey, Brittney! Well, “wife” is just not a title, but also a role and appointment. Otherwise, anyone could call themselves a “wife”, but without the appointment of the role via marriage and its active fulfillment, it’s just an empty title. So, I would say that learning to love yourself first as well as understanding the role of a wife is crucial to being a good one. Just like with any job, you want to be prepared for the position so that you are successful in it as well as the marriage that’s dependent on it. God said that “he that finds a wife finds a good thing” and the Bible breaks down the roles of both husband and wife, with Eve being the first “help mate”. So being there’s more to being a wife than title alone.
Hmmmm it’s not easy dear, well said
So true, my dear. So very true.
The problem is that we see these women who are celebrities choosing to have children a lot older and they encourage it. You have the youtuber Fumi Desalu vold who is a strong proponent of how she got married in her late 40s and had a child at 50. Her and Vivica Fox hated Kevin Samuels who was one of the men on the internet you describe. Both of these ladies openly were happy when he died. That's why, especially with Vivica Fox, she isn't getting a lot of grace. She could disagree with someone else his opinion but to laugh when someone dies unexpectedly is unforgiveable.
The problem I think, as a women in her 50s myself is that these older "celebrities" who are promoting heavily to younger women to tell them that they can wait are wrong. They are wrong because to do what they did is really expensive and out the reach financially by most women. I work with so many women over 30 that are struggling with their fertility, can't do anything about it and it's heart breaking.
Also the risk of having a child with autism etc is significantly higher - (researchers found that the chance of developing ASD is 50 percent higher when the parents are in their 40s or 50s).
It is best not to wait too long too be honest. I know it's hard listening to another point of view but it might save heart ache in the long run.
There are so many women out there living with regret.
Hey, AuntyDR! I want to thank you for your comment as this gives me more of the clarity I was looking for with regard to the backlash. And I agree: I would never “celebrate” someone’s passing, no matter how polar opposite our opinions and find it tasteless to do so. So, while I don’t agree with doing “bad for bad”, because of Vivica’s distasteful response, I can certainly see why people would react in kind when the moment presented itself.
I also agree that when celebrities talk about their pregnancies, it’s often from a lofty, “fairytale” place. And while they certainly don’t OWE us anything as far as details and there are some who are more forthcoming with their personal journeys, others give the edited version - which CAN be very deceiving and leave their audience thinking that getting pregnant at 40+ is easy and there’s no consequence to waiting later in life. But we know that fertility at ANY age can be a struggle and money is more often a factor than not when overcoming fertility issues. So, I’m not sure whether celebrities are intentionally promoting late pregnancies, but the takeaway from many of their edited journeys can be very misleading.
And in addition to age and fertility issues, there’s also dating/relationship issues as it is seemingly harder to find someone “decent” the older you get. Especially when there are those on the Internet loudly proclaiming that women over 35 are “past their prime” and undesirable. So, while I agree that women shouldn’t wait too long to have kids, sometimes the circumstances dictate the outcome as many are not able to find someone early on to settle down and have a kid with.
All in all, everyone’s timeline is different and in Eboni’s case, she chose to become a mother despite her circumstance of being single. Just like single people who adopt, she wanted a child and didn’t want to wait any longer. So I’m happy she’s finally getting the chance (and healthy enough) to do so.
@@DolceDawn im also not sure if these women say these things deliberately to cause issues but they do influence people regardless of their intentions.
I've been watching you for a while and i think you are a great, wonderful woman.
When these guys say these figures they refer to the average person that unfortunately a lot of us do let ourselves go after 35 and definitely after 40. That's not to say you won't get married, just that likely it's easier. If you want to get married after 35, maybe consider a realistic criteria for the kind of person you are looking for.
I got married late in life but i see myself as very lucky. Most of my friends weren't so lucky.
A lot of the information i listened to from men helps my marriage.
@@mrscf8865 Aww, thank you so much! I appreciate you watching!
You’re right: people in the spotlight/celebrities do have influence. We see and hear the result of it everyday, the good and the bad, which is why discernment and knowing thyself is so important. And if they’re referring to older women that are out of shape as “past their prime” then a whole lotta men are past their prime, too! I mean, we can’t let them off the hook because there are plenty of older (and younger) men with bellies hanging over their belt buckle. So, “what’s good for the goose…” I’m just saying… lol. We both should want to do better because at the end of the day, it’s not just the men choosing us. We get to choose, too!
And I’ve also benefited from just listening to men regarding a lot of different things, including relationships. Listening and exchanging with one another is so important and I find that men love to share and teach us things once you provide them with a safe space. So I definitely hear you regarding that and completely agree.
@@DolceDawn we all have our standards and that's important. We just need to make sure our standards are statistically realistic.
@@mrscf8865 Absolutely. I agree 100%.
Thanks for the Sunday school lesson. Some of the push back and backlash these two women has more to do with the way they present on social media. I don't think anyone in this day and time would be rejoicing or celebrating any woman in her 90's being pregnant.
Hey, James! Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate you sharing your perspective.
May I ask how they present on social media? Do they come off as snobbish or hypocritical? (i.e., Have they said something in the past that now contradicts what they’re doing/saying now?)
And as far as rejoicing a 90 year old’s pregnancy, of course there would be fierce criticism. We have that now with those that are 40+. But if she was healthy enough to carry and deliver, outside of general concern, I would think at least her family would celebrate and be happy for her. What good would it do for them (or the mother-to-be) to be otherwise? And outside of those that love her, who else matters? But the whole point in me bringing the story of Sarah up is that everyone’s timeline is different, age is but a number, nothing is too hard for GOD and HE has the final say.
@@DolceDawn The heart of man is deceitful above all and desperately wicked Jeremiah 17:9. As far as Sarah and Abraham go, theirs was a unique and extreme circumstance of historic and biblically cultural importance. How many more 90yo women have become pregnant that we know about? Whatever is posted or made public is open to comments, positive and negative. Attention is currency. Gone are the days of discretion and decorum. Ms. Fox was quite critical and reckless as she spoke about the demise of Mr. Kevin Samuel. The irony is Ms. Fox and Ms. William represent exactly what Mr. Samuel's warned his audience about.
@@jamessmith-zk4co Got it. See, that’s what I was searching for as far as gaining more insight into the harsh response to these women and their choices. Didn’t follow Kevin Samuels, but was aware of him and how his opinions re: women and dating were very polarizing. Wasn’t aware of Vivica’s response to his passing either, but can now sort of trace the possible root of the backlash. Thank you for this.
@@jamessmith-zk4coKevin Samuels didn’t warn anyone. What he did was pander to lame ass males who were desperate for kitty kat by ridiculing women for being successful and wanting a partner to match them. What he didn’t tell most women is that the “high-value” man is rare!
This may be counterintuitive but I've seen women in their 70s that were hot.
Hey, Coughy! Nothing counterintuitive about that. Age doesn’t dictate beauty… ;0)
@@DolceDawn Sounds good to me.
Not many. Maybe one or two.
@@ronalde.mcknightcpc5542 One or two out of how many? And where are you looking because I’ve seen quite a few myself… ;0)
@@ronalde.mcknightcpc5542 Fortunetly for us all "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". One person's "trash" is another person's treasure and vice-versa.
There’s no such thing as acting your age or dressing your age.
Yep! But people love to keep others - in this case, women - in a box and try to dictate how we should act, live, BE. I remember years ago being criticized for collecting dolls. *sigh*
Tks. much
My pleasure!
You stated that you were confused. It's quite simple, people just like you in this video are giving their OPINIONS. The opinions directed toward the individuals in this video don't care about those derogatory opinions, maybe the favorable ones. They are doing what makes them happy and what works for them. That is what matters, not your opinion or anyone else.
Still confused? You shouldn't be.
Hey, Rick James! Yes, I understand that people were giving their opinions on the women’s choices. So, fear not. I’m not confused about that at all. But while some gave OPINIONS, others simply attacked them. Why attack their looks? Age? Intelligence? I was confused as to why there was such an angry, emotionally charged reaction to what THEY decided to do with THEIR lives. Hence, the tile of the video. Hence me using the word “backlash”. But I do agree that at the end of the day, they seem to be doing what makes them happy and that IS all that should matter to them.
That what's wrong with many women, you don't listen.
You know, unfortunately, I have to agree with you and I have a video planned on this very subject. There are many women that, even after a man tells them exactly what he thinks and wants, disregard and flat out tell the man that he’s wrong… or chide him for sharing his feelings in the first place. We expect a lot from our men, but we have some work to do as women when it comes to relating and relationships as well.
Oh! Women do listen. Women are easily programmable. Men aren’t. As far as what a man wants, that should not be a woman’s concern unless it’s critical. The majority of the time a man’s wants are about him. I’m not for relationships. Relationships are for co-dependent needy people. Partnerships are for two whole individuals who don’t need each other, but want each other working together interdependently.
@@girlbrittneygirl Hey, Brittney! Do you really think women are more easily programmable than men? Men get duped all the time and for every Sampson there seems to be a Delilah. Of course, we’re not speaking about every man/woman, but that interesting that you say that. And I do agree with what you said re: two whole individuals coming together. But isn’t a partnership still a relationship and shouldn’t a good relationship a partnership?
If you want a man, listen to men.
Hey, Ronald! I agree with you that women should listen to men in order find out, attract and KEEP the right one. But how does this apply to this particular video? Do you mind explaining?
Ms. Dolce,the statement he just made is nothing his but ego.He forgets that it’s the man that comes to the woman, not the other way around. Men themselves don’t listen to each other, let alone women.
@@DolceDawnThe problem with most women is that they base their existence on what a man wants, instead of living for themselves. Women don’t have to worry about attracting a man because they go after women anyway. It’s their nature. Women will go through all these changes in order to be or attract a man, just so they can turn around treat women like dirt. I encourage women to listen to the majority men not for attracting them, but to listen carefully how they talk about women. They will tell you what they really think about women. They want women to exist on their low-vibrational level.
Kevin sam....
Kevin Samuels? Ohhh, got it.