I think I relate to Aang the most b'coz I too am a bit of a push over, I'm passive, try to avoid discomfort and conflict (it almost never works), and I get stressed and feel powerless when I have deadlines and expectations set upon me by others. I do want a life where I can just do me. I don't have to identify with or please others, although I would love to hav close friends and people I inspire. Which is why I want to be a writer... obviously I need to get a job and go to college before I can do whatever I want, but yeah. Im like Aang. Plus if I had an element, I think my confidence would be boosted.
I might add that the Gaang often even forgets that she is blind. Her whole life she was being pointed out that she was blind by everyone around her. That was a huge change for her.
@@Klaaism they clearly love her, but their worldview of "my daughter is weak, blind and helpless" is so ingrained in their being that even when being disproven by seeing their own daughter show immense strength and earthbending prowress, they refused to change that paradigm. Instead they double down on it
this is one of the reasons why I HATE LOK. making Toph live alone in the forest and leave behind community was such a stupid thing to do to her and fundamentally ignores the growth of the first series
This finally articulated for me why the "blind jokes" in ATLA didn't bother me the way other targeted jokes tend to. The reason the gang kept forgetting Toph was blind and she'd have to remind them all the time was because they didn't see her as 'less than' and didn't focus on her disability. They just inherently saw her as someone equally capable as the rest of them, and so would forget that there were things she couldn't do. Perhaps this is helped by how sarcastic Toph is - I wouldn't expect the same jokes to fly if she were a more openly sensitive character - but for me it does show where the characters around Toph's (and therefore the narrative's) focus is: on including her in their activities, on being her genuine friends, and on her agency to say yes and no to things from a place of equality rather than pity and defensiveness.
One of my favorite jokes of the show is when they're flying around looking for something, then Toph suddenly yells "There it is", prompting everyone to look around at nothing, before waving her hand in front of her face. The joke is not "Toph is blind", the joke is "Everyone keeps forgetting Toph is blind, because she is such a badass". As someone part of a group joked about all too often (trans women) this subtle distinction is really important to making the jokes not just rude and made at the expense of the character.
I also loveee the moment in the show where she says “…Do you really think friendships can last more than a lifetime?” You can tell that she feels vulnerable saying it because she’s never had friends before, and she’s afraid that they might reject this question. However she’s choosing to trust her friendship with them and it’s so heartwarming because she came such a long way. Thank you for the amazing content, vulnerability is so important but so many people are still afraid of it (for good reason)
That line also ties in to the one thing I like about the Legend of Korra. When Toph meets Korra for the first time the first thing she says to her is "Nice to see you again twinkle toes." Toph knows that she's going to be friends with Korra even before they have a full conversation. Why? Because Korra is the same friend she's already made.
@@Zero00wolfkiller Another interesting thing about that interaction, everyone in the show either refers to Toph as Toph Beifong or Chief/Chief Beifong. There's a lot of respect put on her name, but the one time someone says her name as if they are seeing a friend is Korra as she says "I can't believe, Toph?" when they find each other. In that moment you could almost say that Aang was the one who recognized her and it's what led Korra to instinctively just say "Toph" rather than how others say her name with respect.
As a person with a physical disability, Toph's character meant a lot to me. Disabled people are so often shamed into not asking for help because we're being a "burden" and not only is Toph anything but that, she learns to ask for help in a healthy way. Thank you for the genuine and emphatic way you approached this essay, Tim.
It’s interesting that you had that experience. With my disability, I kept feeling more of a sense of pity (when people actually believed I had a disability because most didn’t) and almost being forced to ask for help when I didn’t need it
@@jeswicas I think most of the time it’s more of a ignorance. I just inform people who do it that it’s wrong and i can’t think of a single time where someone didn’t take the info to heart and actively try to change behavior
It's probably one of the most difficult things people with disabilities face to be honest. I have several invisible disabilities that only really became a problem after I was like 16 so I always felt like I had to keep going no matter what. It also didn't help that I tied my self worth with my academic achievements. I'm 24 now and have literally crashed and burned twice now in relation to pushing myself through academics when I should have just paused and taken care of myself. Luckily I still managed to achieve the same qualifications I was going to get but after I had a mental breakdown at the start of 2020, I'm still building myself back up to just perform daily tasks. I've improved a lot since then but being able to ask for help is probably going to be a lifelong battle.
My favorite (or at least most applicable) line in the whole show is “I poured your tea because I wanted to, and for no other reason.” Either that, or every other line that Iroh ever said.
That leap of faith of hers was incredible, and the fact that her response to 'hang on' isn't a snide 'what else am I supposed to do' but 'aye aye captain' shows her full willingness to 'surrender' to Sokka's plan. He never failed her before and any mess he got them in, he's always gotten them out. And he does. He always does. That's also why she instantly thought it was Sokka who saved her from drowning.
If you notice, she almost always hangs onto him while on Appa and he ran her away when Aang went into the avatar state in the desert. Those two are the reasons she grew to trust and even have a crush on him.
That moment Toph launches them up to the airship is (in my opinion) the biggest show of strength Toph shows. Not physical or bending strength, but mental and emotional strength. The strength to trust someone so implicitly that she'd make herself completely vulnerable without a moment's hesitation for them.
The fact that we talk about a show that's like 12 years old shows that it might be one of the greatest shows, and how we always find new angles, like this, shows the characters are more human than most actual humans
I like the part where toph is talking to sokka about her parents and sokka does his best to listen and show that Kamara was his motherly figure despite being older.
One thing about Toph's "life changing field trip with Zuko" is that she opened up about her entire life story. Toph, who refused to rely on anyone physically much less emotionally at the beginning of her journey, felt safe enough to monologue about her childhood trauma to Zuko. Unfortunately Zuko isn't exactly emotionally intelligent but it was a massive act of vulnerability and trust that maybe went unnoticed, especially given the emotional intensity of the last season's finale.
Also, when she had to try and save Appa and everyone else from the forbidden library at the same time. (If I got the names wrong, I am sorry, I haven't watched the show in a while.)
As a blind woman, I love toph. And I can really relate to her arc. When your blind (or disabled in general) everyone sees you as a fragile piece of China, but at the same time needing that help makes you a burden and you are seen as taking from others. So you have to accept that, and ask for help anyways.
My background is in disability support work and advocacy, and I have several friends, colleagues, clients, and acquaintances who are blind. A big issue for the blind community is when people presume they need assistance with something (eg. crossing a road) then try to assist them without asking if they actually need help, sometimes going so far as to grab them without even getting their consent first, sometimes putting them in danger in the process. Toph's tendency to push back at anyone trying to do things for her is not just about her rejecting pity but also about her need to fend off well-meaning but misguided attempts to assist her that may instead put her at risk. I think Toph's arc is not only about asking for help and not letting other people's pity define your life. I'd say it's also about being able to ask for the help you actually need (instead of having others impose their assumptions of your own capabilities upon you), and being able to trust the people around you to provide it, and being able to build the mutually supportive relationships with the people you work/travel/savetheworld with.
Sounds like people see people that are blind as less of people. Which is dumb. Besides, how hard is it to ask ‘hey, need a hand?’ Before trying to do something for them? It’s dumb.
Toph's tears it Sozin's Comet hit me hard every time. She's embraced and finally trusted. And she hears in the voice of one of her closest friends that even he knows they might not make it.
As Tim said, at this point she is blind to everything. It's one of only a handful of times that we see her completely unable to see. At that point, Sokka is basically her entire world, and she hears him say that he thinks they're about to die, and she can feel that he's sincere, and she believes him. At that moment, she genuinely thinks she's about to die, and that she will leave the world the way she came into it, completely blind and helpless.
It shows each character away from the main plot by slowing down and build what would they do in an everyday life living. It shows their character when their persona, their heroic masks to play in the main plot, is taken off.
I don't generally struggle with showing vulnerability, but one huge exception is the exact situation Toph was in in Tales of Ba Sing Se: Trying to look good, specifically in a feminine way. I never performed femininity as a teenager, I just existed as I was - with the face and skin and hair (and leg hair) I had, and the boring clothes my mom bought. It was good, for a long time, until it wasn't anymore. And at that point, I felt trapped. I wanted to experiment. But trying makeup for the first time basically means laying it all out in front of everybody, that "hey, I wanted to look pretty today, and I made an active effort for it". And if you then fail? If you look stupid with your makeup? That's SO MUCH worse than just naturally looking stupid. There's a certain coolness in not trying. And obviously there's coolness in successfully performing femininity. But in trying and failing, it feels like there's nothing but humiliation. And I relate deeply to Toph in that part where she explains how she doesn't care what she looks like, but sounds so pained at the same time, because that was me for so many years. And I WISH I'd have had a Katara at my side to offer the support she did in that episode.
When it comes to things like looks, those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care. Let's be honest, like any skill no one is a pro at make up or fashion first try. But if you are in the mood to feel feminine and girly, even if it is only once a week or once a month, then don't let a fear of failure stop you from experimenting. The important people will still be there.
When I was female presenting, I was definitely one who never wore makeup. It made me uncomfortable. And the one time I tried it in high school, just some mascara and I think blush, people lost their damn minds over the fact that I was wearing it. It felt like they were making fun of me, even though I think in retrospect most of them were legitimately just surprised. So I just never tried again, because it didn't really feel good in the first place AND garnered me a bunch of very unwelcome attention.
Ok wait this is actually relatable to me now that you've pointed it out. I was often seen as someone "who does not look good in makeup", and so I decided to keep away from it. Its not like I hate makeup or other feminine stuff, its just that Im scared of other people pointing out the fact that I look different and out of place, like it doesnt go well with me. When I do use makeup some people go "Oh, you're using makeup? Who would have thought that you would try it out" or other stuff like "That dress doesn't really suit you". Being girly is all fun until people say it doesnt fit your "looks and personality".
I sort of relate to this. I've never worn makeup daily, or made an effort to look particularly "pretty", apart from concealer under my eyes the first two years of secondary school. Until it ran out and I didn't feel the need to buy more lol. It's confusing cos when you're younger they always tell you "looks don't matter" etc but as became older it seemed that it did matter, and I did want to look nice. I'm still pretty insecure about how I look and myself in general lol. I really related to Katara saying she admires Toph in that scene, for being confident and knowing exactly who she is. (This isn't something I usually do but I was thinking about this so much that I even ended up writing a poem about it, and showing my old English teacher which said it was good lol) Also might have something to do with the fact that when I was really young a female friend made fun of me for not being a tomboy, and being a "girly girl", cos I played with dolls (those were just the toys I was given, it's not like I had many other options lol). That being said, I still don't want to wear makeup, and it's not bc of internalised misogyny or anything like that, I literally don't want to lol. Same with things like shaving body hair, I've never done this and never plan to. I probably wouldn't have realised this was something people did if not for the internet lol, cos my mum doesn't shave either. So I find it funny when people see this as something radical and even "biologically unnatural" or whatever, cos it would never have occurred to me to do it any other way. I think it goes to show the extent to which social expectations and conditioning influence what we perceive as "normal" and "innate" aspects of anything, femininity in this case. I hope this made any sort of sense lol, sorry for the long read 😅
Gosh, that really hit me. I was the exact same way in high school (I still am, pretty much). As a kid I would aggressively stay away from anything considered "girly" (dresses, makeup, literally even the colour pink) which, in hindsight, probably stemmed from some very misogynistic interactions I had at school and even with family, that made me feel like being "girly" was a bad thing. I would fake-gag every time my mom would mention makeup, and throw a huge fit any time I had to wear a dress for a formal gathering. I also had this notion that wearing makeup was, I don't know, cheating? In a way? Like if someone complimented my looks while I was wearing makeup, it didn't count because it wasn't my "natural" face. I was very plain in terms of clothes, hair, and face, and I was fine with it, until I hit high school. All of a sudden everyone around me seemed to have such good style in clothes, they had all pretty much figured out how to use makeup, and for the first time I was noticing. And I felt like I didn't measure up. That's when I first tried to dip my toe into the worlds of applying makeup and finding stylish clothes, things me of two years ago wouldn't have been caught dead doing. I remember distinctly I tried to apply just a bit of mascara to start, because I would often get compliments about my long eyelashes. I spent a really long time trying to put it on correctly (I was also trying to keep it a secret, I was too embarrassed to ask my mom or anyone for tips, after all those years I had spent expressing how much I hated that stuff) and when I wore it to school next day, people noticed almost immediately. The first comment I got about it was an accusatory "Are you wearing mascara?" from a classmate. After I nodded, they told me that it was sloppily applied, too chunky, I didn't get my bottom eyelashes enough, and so on and so forth, basically tearing me to shreds. I felt horrible, beyond humiliated, and immediately ran to the bathroom to wipe it off. In general I just hated how much attention I got because of it, and it made so scared to try again. So I really related to Toph in the moment where she tries the makeup, actually feels beautiful, and then those girls make her feel awful. Sorry for the essay, haha.
As someone whose loved one has several invisible illnesses, I agree that the “other people being more uncomfortable with it than her” line is very accurate. We actually dealt with that yesterday, I dropped her off at a store for a minute while I went to a neighboring store for a couple of minutes, I on the way home she was telling me how everyone in the store kept looking at her weirdly and coddled her by asking HER if she needed help far more than anyone else in the store. She said “I know they weren’t doing anything bad, and they meant well, but it made me question if I am really that weak and helpless.” It’s a very sad thing to see but it happens all the time. Anyways, this comment thread made my day a bit better, so thank you!
6:36 I'd like to add that Toph could feel when people are lying, so she also knew Katara was telling the truth which I find to be so cute and wholesome.
That also means that she knew the other girl was lying from the start, but probably accepted it as being polite if insincere until they directly insulted her.
One contrast I really loved seeing was that Toph's family never talked about her without mentioning her being blind. As you said, they are more uncomfortable with her disability than she is. Tema Avatar on the other hand, often does things relating to Toph, which could work for most people, but not Toph, since she is blind. Meaning, they see her as a person so capable, they sometimes forget her disability existing at all. My favourite of this is when twice in one episode, 2 different people try to show her the wanted poster of her with only the words: "What is this?", and she's like: "Sounds like a piece of paper". Also a good moment: "There it is!... Is what it's gonna sound like, when one of you spots it!"
I love the way they wrote Toph! She's so capable that everyone keeps forgeting that she's blind, and she feels no shame for her disability, often mocking others for not beign able to keep up with the tiny little blind girl.
My younger self needed Toph. She taught me that you can show your vulnerabilities and still be strong, that you can have a disadvantage and use it to be greater than you could without it Toph had a very influential arch in my opinion.
My brother mentioned that Toph still remember what happened to Appa in the desert and she still improved her skills on sand bending (sand castle) to prevent that from happening again.
If I remember correctly, she didn't even need to use sand at all after that. But she did because she's a good friend, she care, she's part of the team and the most powerfull earth bender on the world.
@@ethanotoroculus1060 right??? From rejecting help because its from people who see as her as just her disability to having friends who treat her as equals and are healthy and loving and she appreciates its so much she wants it in this life and every other. It's beautoful Toph is beautiful
Her parents over did it treating her as helpless...Toph fighting to prove herself and her parents others wise that she isn't helpless, causes her to be extremely independent. I also think that she was afraid that if she asks for help, she might recreate in others the same pitty her parents had for her. I love that you pointed out that her seeing Aang and the others need for support and help allowed her to feel more comfortable.
Have you realize that Toph punches everyone in the group on their arm. Aang: The Painted Lady Sokka: The Runaway Katara: Tales Of Ba Sing Se Zuko: The Ember Island Players
I get the pun but if you actually thought you were shortsighted… I don’t think that having our expectations broken either positively or negatively isn’t necessarily a slight on ourselves lol
The worse part is she can tell when people are lying. That is an ability she seems to have uniquely in the series which makes you have to think; How many lies has she been exposed to growing up, how often has she had to pretend to not realize her parents are strait faced lying to her, at what age did she realize she could tell when people are lying. Just imagine what kind of trauma that would cause, not just being pitied by almost everyone you meet but not even able to pretend that people think kindly about her. I think it’s part of the reason Katara’s compliment made her smile, she could tell that Katara was being sincere and not just lying to make her feel better. If you notice she always seems a little happier after getting compliments from the rest of the party. Sincere compliments, something she could of probably counted on one hand up to that point in her life.
In this adult game called *Summertime Saga*, something like this is also said. The main character gets to interact and open up about how the death of his father grieves him and the sister of one of the girls he dates confides in him how life is like without their parents, both of which were lost to a car accieent.
I know I’m late to the video, but there’s a reason why Toph is my favorite character behind Aang. She told a story of a girl who was viewed as weak and powerless who ended up saving the world. When you’re a child of very authoritative parents, a lot of your time is spent dreaming about what you could be doing beyond the chains of your strict parents. She lived out a lot of our dreams and showed that your parents arent always right, and you’re stronger than whatever mold they try to shape you with. This “small, frail, disabled” girl ended up being the most powerful earthbender on earth.
Something I kinda wish was mentioned in the video is how Toph actively tried to reach out to talk to Zuko when he first tries to join the group. Had it been the old Toph, she probably wouldn't have batted an eye at him to help him work things out. Yes her attempt to reach out to him failed because she snuck up on a cautious, maybe paranoid, firebender in the middle of the night, but she *mostly* understood that by the time she got back to the others. The scene seems like it tries to paint it as Zuko getting another thing to redeem himself for but I see it as the peak of Toph's character arc. She went from a lonely child with no friends and no meaningful support to the badass earthbender we see by the end of the series, willing to go against her friends to help someone who had been rejected for past misdeeds. Toph's arc in ATLA means the most to me personally because I had a similar mindset. I didn't want to ask for help and I didn't want to help others, only getting out of that thanks to the friends I made when I was expelled and went to a new school for people with disabilities like mine. I had made friends who I could see as equals instead of the usual belittlement for something I didn't have much control over. Avatar The Last Airbender is a beautiful show and I only wish other shows could reach the level of depth it does.
OMG YES The change came full circle before that scenes here she and Sokka thought they might die When Zuko joined she had learned about healthy ways to give and receive empathy and then her seismic sense also gave her the ability to discern who needed it and who didn't!! So she approaching Zuko who was clearly conflicted and such was her attempting to reach out, even when she wanted her field trip with him. She was no longer afraid of vulnerability and change from lookinginto herself and she wanted to improve so much that she chose to go with Zuko for her own "life-changing field trip". She wanted to open up about the things that hurt her and made her who she was but she didn't even realise that she had already changed so much by virtue of recognizing and acknowledging the need to talk about it at all! So even when she was shut down by Zuko because of the crisis they had at that moment, she wasn't bummed out. She took it in stride (after initial disappointment) because at the end of the day she learned little things here and there ended up impacting her ever steadfast nature as a character. Toph represents resilience, steadfastness and stability, but also slow, steady shifts in change. All the way from the library episode where she was first confronted with a situation that defied her notion of being all-capable (not being able to save both Appa and her friends because of her inability to sandbend), to that moment where Toph was absolutely certain she and Sokka were about to die, Toph makes small but incremental changes to better define and shape her (she even started practicing and mastering her sand bending), and in the face of immediate threat she overcomes, ergo her discovering metal bending. Earth is not like other elements. It does not have the versatility of water or dynamic power of fire or the maneuverability of air, it is essentially stubbornness and while its subelements require a special kind of earthbender (flexible attitude for lava and deep-rooted resolve for metal) those subelements too are ultimately not like the subsets of fire or water or air. But earth too will change when it needs to. Either when confronted with another opposing force, where it will withstand whatever to remain, and it will change form if it means not yielding. Or on its own time. Like the grand canyon. The river came and the rock became a great valley to withstand it. It'll probably take a hundred years of consistent confrontation with other elements for it change from one form to another, but it too will change and adapt and it will still be the great grand canyon, carved from a rock. I feel that is what Toph represents as a character and also as the representative of the earth element on her team. She doesn't really need to grow stronger or evolve. But here and there changes are made to compliment her already grounded character!
Toph's story is absolutely about her finding a way for her two personas (blind - vulnerable; WWE champion - untouchable) to coexist. Awesome video breakdown!
Overall, Toph doesn't change THAT much....and there is absolutely, 1000% nothing wrong with this....her smaller changes are made stronger by her consistent steady nature. She truly represents her role and her element....much like Roku's master did. I have a friend who thinks that some characters in media don't budge or change, when they do in small ways, but also that this is bad writing. Not every character is supposed to pull a full 180. That would be a mess.
She just had to learn how to express her emotions and reach out to those around her. Iroh just wanted to chat with someone else, yet she didn't want his company despite nothing being wrong.
That's the thing. I don't have to make a 180 to become a better person. Everyones journey is different and to insinuate that people who (supposedly) didn't change much are not capable of growth is insulting. One of my favourite characters in media is Ruffy from One Piece. A lot of people argue that he does not grow over the course of the series. I'd argue against it but my main point was always that he DOESN'T need a 180 change.
@@smirglepapier531 I don't watch or read One Piece so maybe there's a character I don't know about, but did you mean Luffy? The MC's name is Luffy, but the Japanese accent would make the L sound like an R. Some manga translators and anime subtitle writers keep the accent when translating.
@@SovereignwindVODs I am German and grew up with the romanised version of Luffy. I am up to date with the manga now and although I read it in English (and he is now spelled Luffy) I still use the romanised version as it feels more comfortable speaking it aloud.
@@smirglepapier531 Just a small note...in Japanese there is no differentiation between the English sounds of "L" & "R" so when converting to roman characters both are technically correct.
Thank you, I've gotten very sick of everyone minimizing Toph as a well written character. You have put her character growth into words far more eloquent than I ever could have.
Well a well written character is still a great thing right? Look at James the red engine. He never went through some big character change aside from maybe his first few stories, and he’s my favorite fictional character ever! Im not saying that toph is just that, I really like her arc! Im just saying that at least people appreciate her personality and what she’s all about compared to some other characters in media. (Shadow the hedgehog anyone?)
It’s interesting to hear that her arc resonates as a common problem for young men growing up because it’s an arc that so perfectly captures the reality of growing up disabled. We needed Toph. So much. The only shame is that this series is 15 years old and I’ve yet to find another character as well developed and realised - and disabled - as her
I never realized I had vulnerability issues until recently. I'm 30 and I hold so much in and rarely ask for help. I don't know how to get better though. I just feel like I always end up reverting back to my old ways. It was how I survived as a kid and I don't know if my brain can ever be healed.
Recognizing and identifying a problem is a big step. Sharing it with us and everyone is a bigger step. Now apply it in your life and ask for help. You can't move a full sized couch on your own!
Simply recognizing that you have a problem is the first big step towards healing, so you’re already on your way. If it’s financially possible for you to do so, I’d highly suggest trying to go to therapy. A good therapist can help show you how or where you can make changes to improve yourself. Everyone should have access to therapy, imo, but I know that’s not often covered even in places that give free healthcare nationally.
@@shadowofchaos8932 This is a good analogy. I would absolutely try to move a full sized couch on my own. And while I can certainly get started on my own or make minor adjustments, eventually I need help to carry it through the door and over the steps. The trick is knowing who is able and available to lift part of the load.
I will just say that while it is always good to strive for self improvement. Don't kick yourself too hard if you realize you missed an opportunity to be vulnerable. Don't think about your brain as having one giant blood spurting wound, think of it as having a bunch of cuts and bruises you work one at a time to fix. Though it may take time to get to all of them, and you will likely make negative choices in the meantime, those don't mean you as a whole can not heal and get better. Sorry, that brain analogy got weird.
Toph relying on Sokka and Suki probably signifies her trust in her friends most of all. If it were any other member of the Gaang, she would be able to trust in their bending to save them even if she couldn't. Giving her faith to Sokka means that she's gone from someone with no friends to complete faith in a person who's magic power is friendship and quick wits. That's some real, true faith right there.
*Ok but think about how perfect a Toph+Zuko episode would have been.* They're different yet similar in so many ways- One was neglected and rejected by his parents, the other was overprotected and ran away herself, both from a family of status that ignored their children's needs. I imagine the crux of the episode would be about reconnecting and reconciling with her parents? And Vice versa with Toph being the one to give Zuko the push he needed to do the same with Iroh, since she was the only one other than Aang who actually spent time getting to know him back in season 2. Imo it feels more meaningful of a story beat than finding Iroh out of desperation- maybe Zuko could have known Iroh's location all along and simply was too scared to reach out, and they could have skipped the June mini-plot entirely. Totally mindblown that I never realized the culmination of her character arc in Sozin's comet though, woah.
when he looked straight at the camera and said "...but one person's pain doesn't make yours less painful or less worth talking about." I cried not ugly cried. not that hard. just some tears welling up to the point that I couldn't see I laughed as I wiped my eyes and said to myself "man, I've got issues." It is so hard to internalize that sentiment. I've heard that time and time again but I can't seem to accept it fully. it's even harder to when it feels like there's a parade of people who will attack me for saying I have problems while being a straight white cis male because I'm "privileged" and can't possibly suffer as much as all these minorities. and those vocal people on the far left agree with the people on the far right that I, as a man, shouldn't complain. my dad says that the political spectrum isn't a line, it's a horseshoe. the crazies on the far ends have more in common with each other than they do with everyone else nearer the middle. unfortunately those people are really loud and kind of drown out everyone else not to mention the whole "kids are starving in Africa" being a common thing to get kids to stop being picky. even as I type this my very being is screaming at me "stop drafting this comment." I ask it "why" it gives a few reasons "people will be offended, you mentioned politics!" "nobody cares!" "even if anybody cares there are going to be some assholes who'll burn you. call you a wuss" "some people will say the personification of your insecurities is super pretentious!" well, it's 100% right with that last one at least I use humor as a coping mechanism anyway, I'm going to comment this. I'm not just going to type out a comment and delete it without posting it like I've done more times than I can count.
This was a very relatable read. It was almost like reading an exact description of me, the only difference being I'm bi and trans. Also, it's a really harmful notion that the pain of people who are privileged doesn't matter. Your pain is real. You matter 💜
I empathise with you, but I think you may be misinformed about "the left." I believe "the left" actually want to abolish toxic masculinity and the associated social norms that limit men from expressing themselves in healthy ways. I agree that there are counter-productive sentiments from progressive types, often stemming from a misinterpretation of some valid ideas, and then further influenced by personal histories and feelings. And I get it, sometimes it can be difficult to cut through the noise to the nugget of a good idea. However, this idea that "the left" will attack you and say that you can't possibly suffer as much as all these minorities is probably more... half true more than completely false. "The left" (or at least, reasonable people) recognise that cishet men of all races are impacted by toxic masculinity, and that class and poverty are definite factors influencing quality of life. However, they also recognise that privileged people also tend to insert themselves into discussions about marginalised groups, shifting the focus from one issue onto another. A classic example is men turning discussions of domestic violence against women into discussions about domestic violence against men. Both horrible phenomena that we should work to reduce; yet one group is much more impacted by domestic violence than another, and if the topic at hand is about a marginalised community, what is there to gain from shifting the discussion to a different group? I think it's worth stressing that your problems, especially mental health issues, are totally valid, and you are deserving of all the help you feel you need. But it's also important to recognise that intersectionality means different groups of people experience far different issues, some more pervasive or harder to mask than others. Damn, I'm rambling... At the end of this, I think you're a reasonable person! I just didn't want you to write off "the left" too fast. Cause "the right" typically want to maintain the status quo, while "the true(?) left" want to change things for the better for all types of people, including you! My rant is also very stream of consciousness, sorry. It's about equity vs equality baby. Equality wants everyone to be able to peer over a fence, so provides everyone with the same size crate to stand on. But some people are shorter than others, and still might not be able to see over the fence. Equity recognises that different groups of people have been oppressed in different ways, so provides the shorter people with larger crates than the tall people so that everyone, no matter their height, can see over the fence. No reasonable progressive wants to take your crate away, make you shorter somehow, or build a higher fence in front of you. We want you to see what's on the other side of the fence with us. Have a nice life! (Not sarcasm)
Being vulnerable is never without risk. But you never want to cut yourself down because you assume some one will do it anyways. I am glad you took the risk and posted.
This is why it kind of bothers me when Zuko ignores her in The Phoenix King. So much of Toph's story is about learning to open up, so having him ignore her like that, then playing it as a joke never sat well with me.
I feel like a large part of people ignoring her arc is that it’s relatively short. It’s pretty much over by S3E7 The Runaway, just 21 episodes after she’s introduced. Compared to other characters who’s arcs go almost the entire series. It doesn’t take an incredible amount of time, and is resolved before the halfway point of book 3
Unlike some arcs in storytelling, we get to see the reward of her arc. It's not always common to see just how rewarding and awesome it is to finally overcome your own troubles and trust people. She managed to launch them onto an airship taking off, kill bugs she had no hope of seeing or locating, and wrote a personal letter to her parents. None of that would've happened without her arc, and if it had resolved on Sozin's Comet instead, we'd get to see one or two deeds *maybe*. I disagree, seeing the reward of an arc is equally as pleasing as the arc itself!
Now that I think about it, I absolutely cannot imagine Toph from when we first meet her asking where something is that she can't see with her earthbending, and then using what that person tells her to make a decision. It's such a small detail with the airships but it adds so much. Next thing you're gonna be telling me Suki has a character arc lmao
There’s an old story about Napoleon Hill. His son was born deaf, barely able to hear, and everyone told him they should send him to a special Ed school. In those days (1910s and 20s) it would basically be an asylum. - He refused, saying his son would attend normal school and learn to live with his disability and he told him that one day, it would be his blessing and would work for him instead of working against him. - Years later when he found one of the first working hearing aids, he wrote the owner witn a five point plan for spreading them to those who needed to hear. He was given a position and lived a very succesful life as a businessman giving hearing to those who, like him, were denied it. - Like Toph, what once was a weakness became a strength and a blessing.
This honestly made me love Toph even more than I did already. I love how she seems tough on the outside, but sometimes lets her soft and caring side show through
Actually, from what I understand, her arc is Learning that you might not need help to get things done, but being willing to except it from people who are not being patronizing and dumb, doesn't make you weak. Getting help make things easier, and if you get it from people who understand that you're able to do it on your own, but you also want to make life easier for yourself, and help those who love you express their love by helping you, doesn't make you weak. Also, expressing your feelings doesn't make you weak. This part I didn't get until just now, although I have been working on the feelings thing, at least expressing it to others. I've always been good about my feelings, but my family isn't the best at listening to them, and validating them, and I didn't really pick up to this part of her arc until this video, but it makes total sense! God I love her so much! She was teaching me things even I didn't notice!
@@567secret they're tied for me. Considering Aaron Ehasz wrote both of them, I wouldn't expect any less. He's the guy who suggested making Toph A girl in the first place, so if Amaya wasn't as good as she is, I'd be very surprised and disappointed. Also, don't forget the episode with the dog! The whole episode, and my expectations were sadly low, because I forgot that Aaron was a main writer, that it was going to be a pity the dogs episode, but fuck no! I was super happily wrong! I've never been more happy to be wrong in my entire life! It was all about people being stupid and not excepting the three legged popper on my God! The Doggo!
It’s really amazing how subtle all these things are in the show. And unless you’re familiar with these problems, it’s really easy to be oblivious of them
there are lots of blind people who're trained for independence, often taking it further than an ordinarily sighted person, sometimes crazy-far, and not just as a reaction to the well-meaning but clueless. I know several like that. My husband'll accept my help, of course, but he trusts that I know what help he's likely to need and what he blinking well doesn't need help on. He's lucky his mom fought against her own elders' efforts to over-coddle him. His grandmother told me to cut up his meatballs and butter his bread when she took us out for dinner once in a while. Like what the hell? He did it at the uni cafeteria all the time, all on his own. His tendency to absentminded professor-dom is a far bigger problem than his congenital glaucoma.
I honestly have seen that mentality with anybody that is disabled, myself included (I'm in a wheelchair). The disabled as a whole tend to despise pity, but, I think most of us hate _misplaced_ pity because it is sympathetic sorrow by definition, which is something the average stranger hasn't earned the right to since they barely know them. Of course, knowing a person or at least _thinking_ you do can have it's own problems as you demonstrated with your husband's grandmother Helen Keller-ing him.
What the hell? this mentality genuinely disturbs me. When I was in elementary school. I had enough sight to do exams on my own. But I was still placed in the exam hall for the students with “special needs” as they are called, because I needed more time. Anyway, I used to be asked a million times during exams if I needed help, if I needed them to read for me, if I needed them to write for me. And when I would say no every time, they would complain to my parents about me refusing help. I mean seriously, even a kid wouldn’t be that stubborn. If I really needed help, I would’ve gave in after the number of times you asked. But I didn’t say yes because it was easier for me to do the test on my own. I don’t know why people can’t fathom that idea
@@august1837 I don't see why you would be annoyed by this. Well meaning people who just aren't doing it good enough for you? I don't see the problem. Because it's not a problem until you make it one. It's a non issue that doesn't need to exist and it's so much more reasonable to accept that people will always misunderstand and need to be allowed to learn to understand on their own than to be upset that they don't and react with prideful hostility in an attempt to force the many. It's demanding is what it is. Judge people by their intentions not their capacity to please you.
@@viktoriyaserebryakov2755 I don't think you understood their point. I am not disabled, but I have had well meaning people try way too hard before. The main problem is usually that they are trying to help without actually understanding what the problem is or how you are already dealing with it and, above all, they frequently don't try to understand it. They just assume they already know. If someone tries to help while just assuming they know the problem and situation, they will often make it worse on their attempts on helping and just become an obstacle for the solutions you already have. Furthermore, if you try to tell them about the problem, your solutions and why what they are doing is less helpful than they think, they just straight up ignore you (sometimes, they may get offended) since they believe they already know what the problem is. I think a good comparison would be when a small child wants to help an adult (maybe a parent) with a problem. Frequently, that problem is something that they don't comprehend and what they try to do to help either doesn't really do anything or, more often, kinda of gets in the way. They are well meaning, but their actions are a lot less than helpful and the adult will either have to convince the kid to stop or have to do extra work later because of the "help" the kid gave. The major difference here is that kids usually just can't, for a number of reasons, understand the problem in question while well meaning and unhelpful adults just decide they already know all they need to know and never actually try to understand. It is honestly frustrating. On @Tia Hammad 's case, it seems to me that the person asking if they needed help had already decided that, since they were there, they did. Because of that, when Tia refused their help, they just assumed it was because of some pride or something (not so different from how you Viktoriya assumed Tia complained just because the person failed to please them). That led to an excessive amount of questioning and even complaints to Tia's parents about them refusing help. I would need Tia's confirmation on that, but I got the impression from their message that, while annoying, it would be "fine" if it were just the excessive asking, but the fact that they were so stubborn on believing they already knew what was happening that they just complained to Tia's parents puts them on a superior level of stubbornness than the stubbornness of a kid. TL;DR: I don't think it was about Tia being displeased by their help not being good enough but they being so sure they knew what Tia needed (even without actually trying to understand the situation) that they would not accept what Tia said no matter how many times they said it. P.S. Yes, I know that tl;dr is a bit too big XD
@@GoodVibebuilds IIRC, there are in fact blind computers and the like with braille to help blind people watch (well, in this case, listen to) YT videos and the like.
The fear of opening up to others and the temptation to isolate oneself isn't exclusive to those with a physical difference. Everyone has fears and bad experiences which hold us back. All of us abhor pity, but I think pity comes from that same fear of being perceived as weak as they have no idea how they would handle being blind. It's their problems, not yours, that cause them to do that. I hope you find your way to a connection to people who value who you are as a person and find your strength to accept it.
Every time I think I've turned over every stone in this series, someone has something amazing like this to add. Now I get to marvel at the fact that this is one of the first shows my generation got with a character with a disability in the main cast, but a complex and fleshed out character arc about her coming to terms with needing the help where she does. What amazing work from the writing staff! I love that you also touched on the places where her being a young girl compounds and interacts with her disability (and vice versa). I'm able bodied and have my sight, but I related to Toph in so many ways as a young girl watching this show. Because her experience of being talked down to and pitied and expected not to be able to perform at the same level as her peers was very parallel to my experience as a 12 year old girl. To see her flip that narrative through her own choices and actions and being an unmitigated badass was one my first memories of recognizing a feeling of empowerment. Toph was a young girl who knew what she was capable of and refused to let others tell her anything to the contrary. She basically says to the world "I am amazing at what I do and you cannot and will not tell me otherwise. I won't hear it." She literally announces that she's the greates earthbender of all time because she knows she is and never thinks to second guess herself. And who's gonna argue with her about it? While it took me a long time to internalize that message, seeing Toph on my TV was definitely what planted the seed. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I guess I had more thoughts than I initially knew.
His point around 9:40 is something I run into all the time. I’ve been ill since I was 11 and well, it’s usually just another part of me. But when I need to reach out or vent, it’s hard, because if even the specialists can’t fix it, what can my friends and family hope to do? And when it comes to my family, all of them are and were ill as well, so it felt worse to complain about this thing they knew about but that we couldn’t change. When my mom was dying of cancer, after nearly 40 years with Lupus and the illness i also have, she told me, “Imagine you go into the hospital, having fallen and broken all the bones in your body. Then a guy comes in and has horrific burns over most of his body, his skin just melting or boiled off in places. It doesn’t make your shattered body hurt less. Knowing that someone else is in their own agony doesn’t silence yours. It’s still there and just as real and valid as theirs is.” She also said, “Don’t compare your pain with mine; it’s not wrong to bring up your pain when you know I have pain from my cancer added to my chronic pain. I love you and want to know how you are, and if my scale for pain is different than yours, that doesn’t make yours any less important.” After I met my fiancé, it was difficult but important to get this across to him; he felt bad complaining if he sprained his wrist, tweaked his back, or had a tension headache because of his neck and pain located there. He felt guilty, because he felt it was so small compared to what I had to suffer, and have suffered for over two decades. Well, he came to know my mother’s philosophy, and we’re a better and stronger couple for it. We can be real with each other. He doesn’t have to hide his pain (of any kind), and I don’t have to feel like a big drag to admit when I’m not doing so well. For me, just having someone CHOOSE to dwell in the suck, knowing there’s not much to do, that’s everything. Most people find it too depressing, can’t handle seeing it, don’t want the stress. But He’s right there with me. For the first time since I was 11, I have people choosing to be there with me. This week his mother came and took care of me after I had surgery, using her nursing background to help me with post op care and even showering and getting dressed. She made sure I took my meds and stuff, but she also chose to dwell in the suck just when she didn’t have anything she could do for me actively, and it made a world of difference. I was so happy. Some people get horrible meddlers for mother-in-laws, but I got her!!! She’s going to be my maid of honor at my wedding; it means that much to me that she actively chose to be there, dwell in the suck, and accept me for who I am. Some Mothers would want to drive me off because they’d think I’m not worthy of their kid due to my genes or because my illness has worn me down quite a bit and it’ll be the challenge of my life to have kids, moreso than for healthy people. But she just sees me as ME, and because of that, and the great love I bear for her son, that is enough, and I am enough. It truly makes all of the difference, just like Toph found out. And while I wish I’d found an intrepid band of friends at a much younger age, so my memories were filled with more laughter and less silence, I’m just relieved I found my person. I don’t need many people; as long as just one person SEES me and knows me snd didn’t think me a waste of space or resources, I can handle the pain and the silence that inevitably comes.
This makes me think on my struggles in life and why I had a hard time even admitting that I needed help. I was raised with the idea that needing help meant you were doing something wrong, that if you were doing everything right you wouldn’t need it. Even years later I struggle to talk to people when I am over my head or unsure what to do. But I am doing better and going farther than I would have ever been able to if I tried to do it all on my own.
Thanks for pointing this out! You really held up a mirror for me, since her "I can pull my own weight" was a very big problem for me and still is from time to time. I have been seeing a therapist for a while now but your video made me realize that I still have work to do in that regard (which I didn't think until watching) and especially your closing words really touched me, because even though I don't think going to therapy is weak it was still darn touching and uplifting to hear you saying that there's no threshold one has to "achieve". Thank you!
th fact i didnt think about how toph perspective was so amazing makes me tear up so many times because of how much trust is needed to be so calm in such a way thats always by anyones side
It is beyond my understanding how we can still look back at this cartoon almost 15 years after it has ended and still learn so much from it every time we look closer at a single character or relationship, but am I glad that it exists. Thank you for shining a light on Toph like that with this essay.
At the end you say "Toph didn't struggle with this..." which is largely because ever since her episodic introduction and gradual integration into the Gaang, she was rarely ever alone again. Psychologically, her greatest internal confrontation was when she couldn't save Appa from abduction in "The Library." That's probably the most alone she felt since joining Team Avatar, mostly blind in sand and with peril on all sides. It's something worth thinking about.
I just remember this Tv tropes opinated guide about Avatar the Last Airbender. It's easy to find, it's from many years ago and the reviewer may as well have a different take of it nowadays, but for the sake of discussion I'll bring it here. It wasn't exactly fair at all, in this review even the first episode of Aang going Avatar state was considered a ""deus ex machina"" as if a misterious luminous child from a iceberg isn't foreshadowing enough and as if it wasn't like... literally the first two episodes of set up. It had many many unreasonable nitpicky criticism, specially harsh on Katara and Toph, the latter which the user said "any chances of character development was lost" and then concluding the show was a waste of time, and back then as I didn't know better I thought maybe I was biased and needed to revisit the series with more critical eyes. If there is any chance this person is reading this, just wanted to say that as someone that learnt more about storytelling and stuff from this channel and other sources and came to rewatch the series recently, opinions and tastes aside... The critical take on it back then was WAY far off and innacurate.
@@EvilOverlord1662 I know Jerry comes off as a nitpicky asshole, but he has genuinely great insights majority of the time. His writing has gotten worst as he seems a bit desperate, but I'm sure he wouldn't be so blind as to write a character analysis as described here.
@@talphazero1036 If he fully committed to either being silly or critiquing thoughtfully instead of poorly straddling a half-assed balance of the two, I think his content and reputation would improve.
I don't have a physical disability but my autism makes it near impossible for me to ask for help without breaking down into tears and people telling me that I need to stop crying. Toph spoke to me because I have to put up this shell of myself that is similar to the real me, but isn't the whole truth.
I think one other moment that deserves some attention regarding this theme but wasn't mentioned was Sokka telling Toph that he can't remember what his mother looked like. He says he hasn't told anyone this before because that kind of grief can be so hard to openly express to other people (particularly to people who have not had a similar experience). Sokka being able to open up to Toph about something with that much emotional weight I feel is a significant moment in her arc because it is really hard to be the first one to open yourself up emotionally, Sokka's initial openness makes Toph feel more comfortable and I think this is why Toph has such a closeness with Sokka as the series moves on he trusted her with some of his deepest pain and so she is able to trust in him.
A:tla really had the most diverse and complex character arcs... we got to watch so many characters’ growth throughout the show, and each time that I noticed a character’s progress, it made me very happy. I’ve said it a million times, I’ll say it a million more: this show is an absolute, brilliant masterpiece. It will always have a special place in my heart. Always and forever.
look. toph and azula are my favorites. and i didn't think i could love toph even more than i already did. until i watched this. and honestly. thanks for the words that also don't necessary connect to toph. i especially loved "she's minimizing the pain that not getting that validation from others causes her." though. ppl who get the validation wouldn't understand. and telling someone that they need to "just not care" or "give themselves that validation" doesn't effing work. and if it worked for oneself, it doesn't mean that it works for others.
Awwww! Oh my gosh, what a heartwarming video. To reiterate what he said from around 9:50 on to anyone who needs to hear it: please don’t buy that logic of “you can’t be sad, someone else somewhere has it worse than you”. Like one meme put it: saying that is like saying “you can’t be happy because someone else somewhere has it better than you.” Be sad, be happy, just don’t cut out the emotions.
This video came at just the right time in my life. Currently struggling with career choices and the like. I thought I could soldier it all on my own....but life tends to prove otherwise. Thanks !!!
You make a great point about how Toph flings herself onto the airship with Sokka and Suki, choosing to rely on them, and how that is a result of her growth. I think we see that even more fully when we consider the siege of Ba Sing Se, where Toph chose to stay outside the metal drill where she can see and has earth to bend. At that point, Toph didn't even seem to consider going inside the drill to sabotage it with the others. Of course you could say she's just thinking strategically that she will be more useful with her earth bending, and that may be true, but I definitely think that staying in her comfort zone was part of that decision. And she could have done a similar thing in both cases -- she could have stayed on the ground and thrown rocks at the airships. I think the writers made both of these situations similar so we can see Toph's growth by how she approaches them differently because of how much she knows and trusts her friends.
I emailed the Samaritans the other day because I was so close to the edge mentally. At the end of my email I apologised for getting in touch. That apology was the first thing they addressed in their reply telling me that I shouldn't feel sorry for seeking help. One of the things I hate most about my mental illness is that it hurts and effects others I can't help but feel awful about that even though I know it is wrong
My best friend is legally blind (partial vision in one eye) and Toph reminds me of her so much. They're both so independent and confident. She constantly has to remind me that she can't see when I try to point stuff out to her, because in every other way, she is just as capable as a seeing person. Sometimes she wears her disability proudly, and says "others will move, I'm not a burden, they can get out of my way just as easily" and sometimes she's a little more insecure about it, because she wants to see the world and enjoy it, but she can't. For as long as we've been friends, I've never seen someone let her feel like a burden, she's never been coddled, so she's never ashamed. But it's hard, because I love her so much, to see her passion burn out a little when she can't enjoy something quite as much as us seeing people do.
Toph is and always has been my favourite ATLA character, I just love her story her arc and it hits so close to home with me that I don't even know how to express it correctly. Thank you for the video Tim ❤️
This hit pretty hard, as only a month ago I lost near everything I owned in a house fire and had to rely on other people for assistance and had a very hard time in doing so It took only until very recently to really accept this help but it still feels hard You hit the nail on the head when you said people don't reach out because they don't want to put their problems on other people
To be genuinely honest, I haven't cried so much in my life in these 2 weeks than the rest of my 19 years being alive. I may have been alive for awhile, but the feeling of isolation and high-frequency depression has made me felt alone for. so. long. I will do more to show my appreciation for people who put in the passion and care for others, because I appreciate the way this video was put together. I 100% resonate with it. And the way you beautifully portray her message as Toph's character arc to giving your own message as well. I will do more to learn to grow as a person, while relying on help time to time. Opening up and getting shut down hurts. No one deserves it.
Yeah I can relate with her I have had problems I'm still trying to face mentally for over 5 years, the only tip for me to you if you need help try to get it as fast as possible even if your scared or your told you can't due to something before it can become permanent
I love how you mentioned swimming. Having also swam competitively, I was around the same environment but due to autism my emotions were always on display regardless of who I was talking too. Never paid it any mind until a guy I really looked up too took me to the side and thanked me profusely because every guy was cold and distant but I wasn't (in all honesty there were certainly other open minded guys on our team but he probably floated outside of their friend groups), and that is a memory i will take to my grave.
I relate to Toph a lot because I’m disabled and often found it hard to ask for help and growing up there was rarely any characters like her on tv if there was they only showed up in one episode they weren’t a side character like Toph and the representation was poor and focused on them being disabled instead of them being a person and I’m glad that Toph was portrayed as person
This was so sweet, thank you. I went on a season 4 re-watch binge a couple weekends ago because i love seeing over and over again how all these characters I love change and grow together. Toph has always been one of my favourite characters of all time, but even her story was a little too mature and abstract for younger me. Re-watching her open up and be vulnerable is so important for me now in my adult life, truly cementing the timlessness of this show for me. Thanks for the video
That last minute hit me really hard, as someone who has struggled with those feelings for years, it's only in the last year or two that I have started to reach out and it has helped tremendously.
![What everyone gets wrong about Avatar: Is fleshbending possible? [ ATLA l LOK ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/sejaGbhYKQ8/mqdefault.jpg)
![What everyone gets wrong about Avatar: Is fleshbending possible? [ ATLA l LOK ]](/img/tr.png)
Whose story in ATLA means the most to you personally? Maybe Zuko or Katara's resonates with you most. Stay nerdy!
Tim
Zuko has the biggest character arc, obviously. But I keep getting drawn to Sokka because he has to learn his place in the world.
Definitely Zuko and Toph's.
I think I relate to Aang the most b'coz I too am a bit of a push over, I'm passive, try to avoid discomfort and conflict (it almost never works), and I get stressed and feel powerless when I have deadlines and expectations set upon me by others.
I do want a life where I can just do me. I don't have to identify with or please others, although I would love to hav close friends and people I inspire. Which is why I want to be a writer... obviously I need to get a job and go to college before I can do whatever I want, but yeah. Im like Aang.
Plus if I had an element, I think my confidence would be boosted.
I'd say both Zuko and Toph. I resonate with both chars in various ways and got rlly invested in both of them
Zuo, but really sokka. Tims element is water eh.
She learns that not everyone wants to help her out of pity for her blindness
I might add that the Gaang often even forgets that she is blind. Her whole life she was being pointed out that she was blind by everyone around her. That was a huge change for her.
@@LetsTakeWalk Yeah, exactly! They treat her as an equal which unfortunately, her family didn't :(
Helicopter parents. They mean well; however, they end up doing other damage.
@@Klaaism they clearly love her, but their worldview of "my daughter is weak, blind and helpless" is so ingrained in their being that even when being disproven by seeing their own daughter show immense strength and earthbending prowress, they refused to change that paradigm. Instead they double down on it
Which episode does Toph meet Iroh?
8:18 The real life-changing field trip was, quite literally, the friends she made along the way.
Lmao god dammit, it's actually accurate for once
Yeah the entire series was a life changing field trip for Toph.
so accurate, it hurts 😭😆
this is one of the reasons why I HATE LOK. making Toph live alone in the forest and leave behind community was such a stupid thing to do to her and fundamentally ignores the growth of the first series
@@makingishwrong
This finally articulated for me why the "blind jokes" in ATLA didn't bother me the way other targeted jokes tend to. The reason the gang kept forgetting Toph was blind and she'd have to remind them all the time was because they didn't see her as 'less than' and didn't focus on her disability. They just inherently saw her as someone equally capable as the rest of them, and so would forget that there were things she couldn't do. Perhaps this is helped by how sarcastic Toph is - I wouldn't expect the same jokes to fly if she were a more openly sensitive character - but for me it does show where the characters around Toph's (and therefore the narrative's) focus is: on including her in their activities, on being her genuine friends, and on her agency to say yes and no to things from a place of equality rather than pity and defensiveness.
One of my favorite jokes of the show is when they're flying around looking for something, then Toph suddenly yells "There it is", prompting everyone to look around at nothing, before waving her hand in front of her face. The joke is not "Toph is blind", the joke is "Everyone keeps forgetting Toph is blind, because she is such a badass". As someone part of a group joked about all too often (trans women) this subtle distinction is really important to making the jokes not just rude and made at the expense of the character.
@@ThrottleKitty that was when they were looking for the library, imo one of the best scenes in the show lol
@@ekinie3854 I couldn't remember if that's the scene it was from or not, thank you! lol
@@ThrottleKitty Even funnier in my opinion was when they were painting leaflets to find Appa in Ba Sing Se and Toph compliments Sokka for his drawing.
The most commonly used joke is “oh yeah, she’s blind,” which even the audience might forget from time to time due to just how capable she is.
I also loveee the moment in the show where she says “…Do you really think friendships can last more than a lifetime?” You can tell that she feels vulnerable saying it because she’s never had friends before, and she’s afraid that they might reject this question. However she’s choosing to trust her friendship with them and it’s so heartwarming because she came such a long way. Thank you for the amazing content, vulnerability is so important but so many people are still afraid of it (for good reason)
That line also ties in to the one thing I like about the Legend of Korra. When Toph meets Korra for the first time the first thing she says to her is "Nice to see you again twinkle toes." Toph knows that she's going to be friends with Korra even before they have a full conversation. Why? Because Korra is the same friend she's already made.
@@Zero00wolfkiller Another interesting thing about that interaction, everyone in the show either refers to Toph as Toph Beifong or Chief/Chief Beifong. There's a lot of respect put on her name, but the one time someone says her name as if they are seeing a friend is Korra as she says "I can't believe, Toph?" when they find each other. In that moment you could almost say that Aang was the one who recognized her and it's what led Korra to instinctively just say "Toph" rather than how others say her name with respect.
@@angelparada9904kinda funny how her own daughter eveb called her chief
As a person with a physical disability, Toph's character meant a lot to me. Disabled people are so often shamed into not asking for help because we're being a "burden" and not only is Toph anything but that, she learns to ask for help in a healthy way. Thank you for the genuine and emphatic way you approached this essay, Tim.
It’s interesting that you had that experience. With my disability, I kept feeling more of a sense of pity (when people actually believed I had a disability because most didn’t) and almost being forced to ask for help when I didn’t need it
@@TheAxeliono I'm sorry you experienced that :( we definitely face a lot of infantilization too and it's gross.
@@jeswicas I think most of the time it’s more of a ignorance. I just inform people who do it that it’s wrong and i can’t think of a single time where someone didn’t take the info to heart and actively try to change behavior
It's probably one of the most difficult things people with disabilities face to be honest. I have several invisible disabilities that only really became a problem after I was like 16 so I always felt like I had to keep going no matter what. It also didn't help that I tied my self worth with my academic achievements. I'm 24 now and have literally crashed and burned twice now in relation to pushing myself through academics when I should have just paused and taken care of myself. Luckily I still managed to achieve the same qualifications I was going to get but after I had a mental breakdown at the start of 2020, I'm still building myself back up to just perform daily tasks. I've improved a lot since then but being able to ask for help is probably going to be a lifelong battle.
Hard same. I needed to hear this so much...
Thank you, Tim.
"I want you to know that there's no threshold of pain that you need to hit before it's worth reaching out for help."
What a line. What a truth.
My favorite (or at least most applicable) line in the whole show is “I poured your tea because I wanted to, and for no other reason.” Either that, or every other line that Iroh ever said.
Just Iroh as a whole.
Trust me, it would be better if you were not here this afternoon.
Zuko's imitation Iroh is good too
@@yourpalbryan1442 "Take a bite of the silver sandwich!" - Zuko
@@Amy-oo7mm "You must look within yourself to find yourself. Only then, will your true self reveal itself"
That leap of faith of hers was incredible, and the fact that her response to 'hang on' isn't a snide 'what else am I supposed to do' but 'aye aye captain' shows her full willingness to 'surrender' to Sokka's plan. He never failed her before and any mess he got them in, he's always gotten them out.
And he does. He always does. That's also why she instantly thought it was Sokka who saved her from drowning.
If you notice, she almost always hangs onto him while on Appa and he ran her away when Aang went into the avatar state in the desert. Those two are the reasons she grew to trust and even have a crush on him.
@@runedoom she had a crush?
@@lailoutherandShe kissed Suki who saved h ander from drowning thinking she was Sokka, pretty definitive proof she had a crush on him if you ask me.
@@frazonedracaoo6981 "Oh.. haha... you can go ahead and let me drown now."
She thought Sokka was the one who saved her because Sokka said he would come and get her, but Suki actually dived in first before he could.
That moment Toph launches them up to the airship is (in my opinion) the biggest show of strength Toph shows. Not physical or bending strength, but mental and emotional strength. The strength to trust someone so implicitly that she'd make herself completely vulnerable without a moment's hesitation for them.
The fact that we talk about a show that's like 12 years old shows that it might be one of the greatest shows, and how we always find new angles, like this, shows the characters are more human than most actual humans
I like the part where toph is talking to sokka about her parents and sokka does his best to listen and show that Kamara was his motherly figure despite being older.
@@xdsmile5359 Did you mean Katara?
@ prob
Toph learned to sense in the air later in the comics. Not 100% but certainly better.
One thing about Toph's "life changing field trip with Zuko" is that she opened up about her entire life story. Toph, who refused to rely on anyone physically much less emotionally at the beginning of her journey, felt safe enough to monologue about her childhood trauma to Zuko. Unfortunately Zuko isn't exactly emotionally intelligent but it was a massive act of vulnerability and trust that maybe went unnoticed, especially given the emotional intensity of the last season's finale.
Another time she was almost vulnerable was when she tried to visit her parents, but got kidnapped instead. At least she learned metalbending then!
Also, when she had to try and save Appa and everyone else from the forbidden library at the same time. (If I got the names wrong, I am sorry, I haven't watched the show in a while.)
Or in the desert where she couldn’t see those flying creatures.
Honestly that's the same as hama's story. Imprisonment caused a new power to surface. They both chose survival.
@Animation TV Show weren't those the same parents that treated her as an accessory or a burden instead of a human being?
@Animation TV Show do you seriously think they excuse everything else?
As a blind woman, I love toph. And I can really relate to her arc. When your blind (or disabled in general) everyone sees you as a fragile piece of China, but at the same time needing that help makes you a burden and you are seen as taking from others. So you have to accept that, and ask for help anyways.
Did you listen to the entire show?
@@ucsucs3722
Yes. But I've never found DN version.
bro how did u write that not seeing
@@bigcoliber4864
Screen reading software. It comes with every smartphone nowadays.
@@A_Wee_spook woah, didnt know it, hell yeah dude cheers have a nice day
Oh man, an ATLA video from Tim just feels like coming home to comfort these days.
I have a bad relationship with my family, so seeing us all come together to talk about avatar just makes me not feel alone.
That is such a good way to put it
They really do lol
This makes me want to watch it again.
Exactly!
Toph: I want to send a letter to my parents
Hawky: You know I think this is my cue to leave for good
Hawky: only in one episode, but forever in our hearts
"This enraged the Melon Lord, who punished him severely."
Screw the Fire Lords, the Melon Lord is the true ultimate boss.
Love the Oversimplified reference
Ah yes, Oversimplified Avatar: the Last Airbender is a great show.
@@_somerandomguyontheinternet_ do you not know the reference or just being sarcastic
@@timj9466 that was me being facetious. I know the reference.
My background is in disability support work and advocacy, and I have several friends, colleagues, clients, and acquaintances who are blind. A big issue for the blind community is when people presume they need assistance with something (eg. crossing a road) then try to assist them without asking if they actually need help, sometimes going so far as to grab them without even getting their consent first, sometimes putting them in danger in the process. Toph's tendency to push back at anyone trying to do things for her is not just about her rejecting pity but also about her need to fend off well-meaning but misguided attempts to assist her that may instead put her at risk.
I think Toph's arc is not only about asking for help and not letting other people's pity define your life. I'd say it's also about being able to ask for the help you actually need (instead of having others impose their assumptions of your own capabilities upon you), and being able to trust the people around you to provide it, and being able to build the mutually supportive relationships with the people you work/travel/savetheworld with.
Sounds like people see people that are blind as less of people. Which is dumb. Besides, how hard is it to ask ‘hey, need a hand?’ Before trying to do something for them? It’s dumb.
Toph's tears it Sozin's Comet hit me hard every time.
She's embraced and finally trusted. And she hears in the voice of one of her closest friends that even he knows they might not make it.
“I think this is the end, Toph.”
One of my favorite lines in the show.
@@Flome810 Zhu Li’s “I’m afraid there are no more things left to do” is very similar to this one.
As Tim said, at this point she is blind to everything. It's one of only a handful of times that we see her completely unable to see. At that point, Sokka is basically her entire world, and she hears him say that he thinks they're about to die, and she can feel that he's sincere, and she believes him.
At that moment, she genuinely thinks she's about to die, and that she will leave the world the way she came into it, completely blind and helpless.
@@althelor Ben Shapiro, is that you?
@@Flome810 ew, no.
why does Tales of Ba-Sing-Se seem like an important part of everyone's character arc...
Because it's a masterpiece
It distills every character down to their basic elements
Because it is the entire point of the episode it doesn't advance the plot or introduce new plotlines.
It shows each character away from the main plot by slowing down and build what would they do in an everyday life living. It shows their character when their persona, their heroic masks to play in the main plot, is taken off.
Spoken like a true wise wolf 🐺
I don't generally struggle with showing vulnerability, but one huge exception is the exact situation Toph was in in Tales of Ba Sing Se: Trying to look good, specifically in a feminine way.
I never performed femininity as a teenager, I just existed as I was - with the face and skin and hair (and leg hair) I had, and the boring clothes my mom bought. It was good, for a long time, until it wasn't anymore.
And at that point, I felt trapped. I wanted to experiment. But trying makeup for the first time basically means laying it all out in front of everybody, that "hey, I wanted to look pretty today, and I made an active effort for it". And if you then fail? If you look stupid with your makeup? That's SO MUCH worse than just naturally looking stupid.
There's a certain coolness in not trying. And obviously there's coolness in successfully performing femininity. But in trying and failing, it feels like there's nothing but humiliation.
And I relate deeply to Toph in that part where she explains how she doesn't care what she looks like, but sounds so pained at the same time, because that was me for so many years. And I WISH I'd have had a Katara at my side to offer the support she did in that episode.
When it comes to things like looks, those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care. Let's be honest, like any skill no one is a pro at make up or fashion first try. But if you are in the mood to feel feminine and girly, even if it is only once a week or once a month, then don't let a fear of failure stop you from experimenting. The important people will still be there.
When I was female presenting, I was definitely one who never wore makeup. It made me uncomfortable. And the one time I tried it in high school, just some mascara and I think blush, people lost their damn minds over the fact that I was wearing it. It felt like they were making fun of me, even though I think in retrospect most of them were legitimately just surprised. So I just never tried again, because it didn't really feel good in the first place AND garnered me a bunch of very unwelcome attention.
Ok wait this is actually relatable to me now that you've pointed it out. I was often seen as someone "who does not look good in makeup", and so I decided to keep away from it. Its not like I hate makeup or other feminine stuff, its just that Im scared of other people pointing out the fact that I look different and out of place, like it doesnt go well with me. When I do use makeup some people go "Oh, you're using makeup? Who would have thought that you would try it out" or other stuff like "That dress doesn't really suit you". Being girly is all fun until people say it doesnt fit your "looks and personality".
I sort of relate to this. I've never worn makeup daily, or made an effort to look particularly "pretty", apart from concealer under my eyes the first two years of secondary school. Until it ran out and I didn't feel the need to buy more lol.
It's confusing cos when you're younger they always tell you "looks don't matter" etc but as became older it seemed that it did matter, and I did want to look nice. I'm still pretty insecure about how I look and myself in general lol. I really related to Katara saying she admires Toph in that scene, for being confident and knowing exactly who she is. (This isn't something I usually do but I was thinking about this so much that I even ended up writing a poem about it, and showing my old English teacher which said it was good lol)
Also might have something to do with the fact that when I was really young a female friend made fun of me for not being a tomboy, and being a "girly girl", cos I played with dolls (those were just the toys I was given, it's not like I had many other options lol). That being said, I still don't want to wear makeup, and it's not bc of internalised misogyny or anything like that, I literally don't want to lol. Same with things like shaving body hair, I've never done this and never plan to. I probably wouldn't have realised this was something people did if not for the internet lol, cos my mum doesn't shave either. So I find it funny when people see this as something radical and even "biologically unnatural" or whatever, cos it would never have occurred to me to do it any other way. I think it goes to show the extent to which social expectations and conditioning influence what we perceive as "normal" and "innate" aspects of anything, femininity in this case.
I hope this made any sort of sense lol, sorry for the long read 😅
Gosh, that really hit me. I was the exact same way in high school (I still am, pretty much). As a kid I would aggressively stay away from anything considered "girly" (dresses, makeup, literally even the colour pink) which, in hindsight, probably stemmed from some very misogynistic interactions I had at school and even with family, that made me feel like being "girly" was a bad thing. I would fake-gag every time my mom would mention makeup, and throw a huge fit any time I had to wear a dress for a formal gathering. I also had this notion that wearing makeup was, I don't know, cheating? In a way? Like if someone complimented my looks while I was wearing makeup, it didn't count because it wasn't my "natural" face.
I was very plain in terms of clothes, hair, and face, and I was fine with it, until I hit high school. All of a sudden everyone around me seemed to have such good style in clothes, they had all pretty much figured out how to use makeup, and for the first time I was noticing. And I felt like I didn't measure up. That's when I first tried to dip my toe into the worlds of applying makeup and finding stylish clothes, things me of two years ago wouldn't have been caught dead doing. I remember distinctly I tried to apply just a bit of mascara to start, because I would often get compliments about my long eyelashes. I spent a really long time trying to put it on correctly (I was also trying to keep it a secret, I was too embarrassed to ask my mom or anyone for tips, after all those years I had spent expressing how much I hated that stuff) and when I wore it to school next day, people noticed almost immediately. The first comment I got about it was an accusatory "Are you wearing mascara?" from a classmate. After I nodded, they told me that it was sloppily applied, too chunky, I didn't get my bottom eyelashes enough, and so on and so forth, basically tearing me to shreds. I felt horrible, beyond humiliated, and immediately ran to the bathroom to wipe it off. In general I just hated how much attention I got because of it, and it made so scared to try again.
So I really related to Toph in the moment where she tries the makeup, actually feels beautiful, and then those girls make her feel awful.
Sorry for the essay, haha.
As someone whose loved one has several invisible illnesses, I agree that the “other people being more uncomfortable with it than her” line is very accurate. We actually dealt with that yesterday, I dropped her off at a store for a minute while I went to a neighboring store for a couple of minutes, I on the way home she was telling me how everyone in the store kept looking at her weirdly and coddled her by asking HER if she needed help far more than anyone else in the store. She said “I know they weren’t doing anything bad, and they meant well, but it made me question if I am really that weak and helpless.” It’s a very sad thing to see but it happens all the time. Anyways, this comment thread made my day a bit better, so thank you!
6:36 I'd like to add that Toph could feel when people are lying, so she also knew Katara was telling the truth which I find to be so cute and wholesome.
I forgot this and I'm so glad you pointed this out!
That also means that she knew the other girl was lying from the start, but probably accepted it as being polite if insincere until they directly insulted her.
tbh that was a silly power to give her but meh
@@randomechodelta5689 It wasn't though, why do you think that?
@@randomechodelta5689 pretty sure lying changes your heartbeat, so toph would be able to feel that
One contrast I really loved seeing was that Toph's family never talked about her without mentioning her being blind. As you said, they are more uncomfortable with her disability than she is.
Tema Avatar on the other hand, often does things relating to Toph, which could work for most people, but not Toph, since she is blind. Meaning, they see her as a person so capable, they sometimes forget her disability existing at all.
My favourite of this is when twice in one episode, 2 different people try to show her the wanted poster of her with only the words: "What is this?", and she's like: "Sounds like a piece of paper".
Also a good moment: "There it is!... Is what it's gonna sound like, when one of you spots it!"
Title: “What is Toph’s character arc?”
Thumbnail: “Asking for help.”
Well shit, that was easy
I thought they would roast toph in this video
XD Nooo
😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love the way they wrote Toph!
She's so capable that everyone keeps forgeting that she's blind, and she feels no shame for her disability, often mocking others for not beign able to keep up with the tiny little blind girl.
My younger self needed Toph. She taught me that you can show your vulnerabilities and still be strong, that you can have a disadvantage and use it to be greater than you could without it
Toph had a very influential arch in my opinion.
I love Toph’s and Katara’s friendship. It was heartwarming when Toph finally opened up to Katara.
My brother mentioned that Toph still remember what happened to Appa in the desert and she still improved her skills on sand bending (sand castle) to prevent that from happening again.
If I remember correctly, she didn't even need to use sand at all after that. But she did because she's a good friend, she care, she's part of the team and the most powerfull earth bender on the world.
9:09 How have I neve noticed that Toph starts to cry when Sokka tells her boomerang isn't coming back, in that scene?
she can't see and sokka is the only think she feels and she knows her life depends on their hands
Maybe the real character arc was the friends we made along the way
The universal character arc
Literally 😂
I mean, if you want to get technical about it...
Learning friendship FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC Oh God this comment reminded me of Mlp
@@ethanotoroculus1060 right??? From rejecting help because its from people who see as her as just her disability to having friends who treat her as equals and are healthy and loving and she appreciates its so much she wants it in this life and every other.
It's beautoful
Toph is beautiful
Her parents over did it treating her as helpless...Toph fighting to prove herself and her parents others wise that she isn't helpless, causes her to be extremely independent. I also think that she was afraid that if she asks for help, she might recreate in others the same pitty her parents had for her. I love that you pointed out that her seeing Aang and the others need for support and help allowed her to feel more comfortable.
Have you realize that Toph punches everyone in the group on their arm.
Aang: The Painted Lady
Sokka: The Runaway
Katara: Tales Of Ba Sing Se
Zuko: The Ember Island Players
Physical contact which as humans we all crave but with no room for misconstrued vulnerability punch to the arm is like a hug
It's her way of showing affection.
The punch of lurve, to show she’s become attached to them
As she says in "Ember Island Players," it's how she shows affection.
@@VideoMask93 I just realized that she explains why she does it in the last episode she does it.
Self Harm and Suicide helpline counciling was kinda shocking to hear. That’s a bloody hard task to take on
Far more insightful than I thought this would be.. Which in hindsight was just me being shortsighted
I see what you did there
Need more foresight
I get the pun but if you actually thought you were shortsighted… I don’t think that having our expectations broken either positively or negatively isn’t necessarily a slight on ourselves lol
“It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." - Unrelated Iroh quote.
Shortsighted
The worse part is she can tell when people are lying. That is an ability she seems to have uniquely in the series which makes you have to think; How many lies has she been exposed to growing up, how often has she had to pretend to not realize her parents are strait faced lying to her, at what age did she realize she could tell when people are lying.
Just imagine what kind of trauma that would cause, not just being pitied by almost everyone you meet but not even able to pretend that people think kindly about her. I think it’s part of the reason Katara’s compliment made her smile, she could tell that Katara was being sincere and not just lying to make her feel better.
If you notice she always seems a little happier after getting compliments from the rest of the party. Sincere compliments, something she could of probably counted on one hand up to that point in her life.
Sharing our burdens makes them easier to carry together.
In this adult game called *Summertime Saga*, something like this is also said.
The main character gets to interact and open up about how the death of his father grieves him
and the sister of one of the girls he dates confides in him how life is like without their parents, both of which were lost to a car accieent.
@@HasufelyArod bruh
I know I’m late to the video, but there’s a reason why Toph is my favorite character behind Aang. She told a story of a girl who was viewed as weak and powerless who ended up saving the world. When you’re a child of very authoritative parents, a lot of your time is spent dreaming about what you could be doing beyond the chains of your strict parents. She lived out a lot of our dreams and showed that your parents arent always right, and you’re stronger than whatever mold they try to shape you with. This “small, frail, disabled” girl ended up being the most powerful earthbender on earth.
Something I kinda wish was mentioned in the video is how Toph actively tried to reach out to talk to Zuko when he first tries to join the group. Had it been the old Toph, she probably wouldn't have batted an eye at him to help him work things out.
Yes her attempt to reach out to him failed because she snuck up on a cautious, maybe paranoid, firebender in the middle of the night, but she *mostly* understood that by the time she got back to the others.
The scene seems like it tries to paint it as Zuko getting another thing to redeem himself for but I see it as the peak of Toph's character arc. She went from a lonely child with no friends and no meaningful support to the badass earthbender we see by the end of the series, willing to go against her friends to help someone who had been rejected for past misdeeds.
Toph's arc in ATLA means the most to me personally because I had a similar mindset. I didn't want to ask for help and I didn't want to help others, only getting out of that thanks to the friends I made when I was expelled and went to a new school for people with disabilities like mine. I had made friends who I could see as equals instead of the usual belittlement for something I didn't have much control over.
Avatar The Last Airbender is a beautiful show and I only wish other shows could reach the level of depth it does.
OMG YES
The change came full circle before that scenes here she and Sokka thought they might die
When Zuko joined she had learned about healthy ways to give and receive empathy and then her seismic sense also gave her the ability to discern who needed it and who didn't!! So she approaching Zuko who was clearly conflicted and such was her attempting to reach out, even when she wanted her field trip with him. She was no longer afraid of vulnerability and change from lookinginto herself and she wanted to improve so much that she chose to go with Zuko for her own "life-changing field trip". She wanted to open up about the things that hurt her and made her who she was but she didn't even realise that she had already changed so much by virtue of recognizing and acknowledging the need to talk about it at all! So even when she was shut down by Zuko because of the crisis they had at that moment, she wasn't bummed out.
She took it in stride (after initial disappointment) because at the end of the day she learned little things here and there ended up impacting her ever steadfast nature as a character.
Toph represents resilience, steadfastness and stability, but also slow, steady shifts in change. All the way from the library episode where she was first confronted with a situation that defied her notion of being all-capable (not being able to save both Appa and her friends because of her inability to sandbend), to that moment where Toph was absolutely certain she and Sokka were about to die, Toph makes small but incremental changes to better define and shape her (she even started practicing and mastering her sand bending), and in the face of immediate threat she overcomes, ergo her discovering metal bending.
Earth is not like other elements. It does not have the versatility of water or dynamic power of fire or the maneuverability of air, it is essentially stubbornness and while its subelements require a special kind of earthbender (flexible attitude for lava and deep-rooted resolve for metal) those subelements too are ultimately not like the subsets of fire or water or air. But earth too will change when it needs to. Either when confronted with another opposing force, where it will withstand whatever to remain, and it will change form if it means not yielding. Or on its own time. Like the grand canyon. The river came and the rock became a great valley to withstand it. It'll probably take a hundred years of consistent confrontation with other elements for it change from one form to another, but it too will change and adapt and it will still be the great grand canyon, carved from a rock.
I feel that is what Toph represents as a character and also as the representative of the earth element on her team. She doesn't really need to grow stronger or evolve. But here and there changes are made to compliment her already grounded character!
All of this
Toph's story is absolutely about her finding a way for her two personas (blind - vulnerable; WWE champion - untouchable) to coexist. Awesome video breakdown!
Overall, Toph doesn't change THAT much....and there is absolutely, 1000% nothing wrong with this....her smaller changes are made stronger by her consistent steady nature. She truly represents her role and her element....much like Roku's master did. I have a friend who thinks that some characters in media don't budge or change, when they do in small ways, but also that this is bad writing. Not every character is supposed to pull a full 180. That would be a mess.
She just had to learn how to express her emotions and reach out to those around her. Iroh just wanted to chat with someone else, yet she didn't want his company despite nothing being wrong.
That's the thing. I don't have to make a 180 to become a better person. Everyones journey is different and to insinuate that people who (supposedly) didn't change much are not capable of growth is insulting.
One of my favourite characters in media is Ruffy from One Piece. A lot of people argue that he does not grow over the course of the series. I'd argue against it but my main point was always that he DOESN'T need a 180 change.
@@smirglepapier531 I don't watch or read One Piece so maybe there's a character I don't know about, but did you mean Luffy? The MC's name is Luffy, but the Japanese accent would make the L sound like an R. Some manga translators and anime subtitle writers keep the accent when translating.
@@SovereignwindVODs I am German and grew up with the romanised version of Luffy. I am up to date with the manga now and although I read it in English (and he is now spelled Luffy) I still use the romanised version as it feels more comfortable speaking it aloud.
@@smirglepapier531 Just a small note...in Japanese there is no differentiation between the English sounds of "L" & "R" so when converting to roman characters both are technically correct.
Thank you, I've gotten very sick of everyone minimizing Toph as a well written character. You have put her character growth into words far more eloquent than I ever could have.
Well a well written character is still a great thing right? Look at James the red engine. He never went through some big character change aside from maybe his first few stories, and he’s my favorite fictional character ever!
Im not saying that toph is just that, I really like her arc! Im just saying that at least people appreciate her personality and what she’s all about compared to some other characters in media.
(Shadow the hedgehog anyone?)
It’s interesting to hear that her arc resonates as a common problem for young men growing up because it’s an arc that so perfectly captures the reality of growing up disabled. We needed Toph. So much. The only shame is that this series is 15 years old and I’ve yet to find another character as well developed and realised - and disabled - as her
Ok, I wasn't expecting this to almost make me cry.
I never realized I had vulnerability issues until recently. I'm 30 and I hold so much in and rarely ask for help. I don't know how to get better though. I just feel like I always end up reverting back to my old ways. It was how I survived as a kid and I don't know if my brain can ever be healed.
Recognizing and identifying a problem is a big step. Sharing it with us and everyone is a bigger step. Now apply it in your life and ask for help. You can't move a full sized couch on your own!
Simply recognizing that you have a problem is the first big step towards healing, so you’re already on your way. If it’s financially possible for you to do so, I’d highly suggest trying to go to therapy. A good therapist can help show you how or where you can make changes to improve yourself. Everyone should have access to therapy, imo, but I know that’s not often covered even in places that give free healthcare nationally.
@@shadowofchaos8932
This is a good analogy. I would absolutely try to move a full sized couch on my own. And while I can certainly get started on my own or make minor adjustments, eventually I need help to carry it through the door and over the steps. The trick is knowing who is able and available to lift part of the load.
I highly recommend you look into internal family systems therapy, or IFS therapy - it's so so helpful for this kind of thing.
I will just say that while it is always good to strive for self improvement. Don't kick yourself too hard if you realize you missed an opportunity to be vulnerable. Don't think about your brain as having one giant blood spurting wound, think of it as having a bunch of cuts and bruises you work one at a time to fix. Though it may take time to get to all of them, and you will likely make negative choices in the meantime, those don't mean you as a whole can not heal and get better.
Sorry, that brain analogy got weird.
Toph relying on Sokka and Suki probably signifies her trust in her friends most of all. If it were any other member of the Gaang, she would be able to trust in their bending to save them even if she couldn't. Giving her faith to Sokka means that she's gone from someone with no friends to complete faith in a person who's magic power is friendship and quick wits. That's some real, true faith right there.
*Ok but think about how perfect a Toph+Zuko episode would have been.* They're different yet similar in so many ways- One was neglected and rejected by his parents, the other was overprotected and ran away herself, both from a family of status that ignored their children's needs. I imagine the crux of the episode would be about reconnecting and reconciling with her parents? And Vice versa with Toph being the one to give Zuko the push he needed to do the same with Iroh, since she was the only one other than Aang who actually spent time getting to know him back in season 2. Imo it feels more meaningful of a story beat than finding Iroh out of desperation- maybe Zuko could have known Iroh's location all along and simply was too scared to reach out, and they could have skipped the June mini-plot entirely.
Totally mindblown that I never realized the culmination of her character arc in Sozin's comet though, woah.
9:25 that is a wonderful piece of wisdom right there.
when he looked straight at the camera and said "...but one person's pain doesn't make yours less painful or less worth talking about." I cried
not ugly cried. not that hard. just some tears welling up to the point that I couldn't see
I laughed as I wiped my eyes and said to myself "man, I've got issues."
It is so hard to internalize that sentiment. I've heard that time and time again but I can't seem to accept it fully.
it's even harder to when it feels like there's a parade of people who will attack me for saying I have problems while being a straight white cis male because I'm "privileged" and can't possibly suffer as much as all these minorities. and those vocal people on the far left agree with the people on the far right that I, as a man, shouldn't complain. my dad says that the political spectrum isn't a line, it's a horseshoe. the crazies on the far ends have more in common with each other than they do with everyone else nearer the middle. unfortunately those people are really loud and kind of drown out everyone else
not to mention the whole "kids are starving in Africa" being a common thing to get kids to stop being picky.
even as I type this my very being is screaming at me "stop drafting this comment."
I ask it "why"
it gives a few reasons
"people will be offended, you mentioned politics!" "nobody cares!" "even if anybody cares there are going to be some assholes who'll burn you. call you a wuss" "some people will say the personification of your insecurities is super pretentious!"
well, it's 100% right with that last one at least
I use humor as a coping mechanism
anyway, I'm going to comment this. I'm not just going to type out a comment and delete it without posting it like I've done more times than I can count.
This was a very relatable read. It was almost like reading an exact description of me, the only difference being I'm bi and trans. Also, it's a really harmful notion that the pain of people who are privileged doesn't matter. Your pain is real. You matter 💜
I empathise with you, but I think you may be misinformed about "the left." I believe "the left" actually want to abolish toxic masculinity and the associated social norms that limit men from expressing themselves in healthy ways.
I agree that there are counter-productive sentiments from progressive types, often stemming from a misinterpretation of some valid ideas, and then further influenced by personal histories and feelings. And I get it, sometimes it can be difficult to cut through the noise to the nugget of a good idea.
However, this idea that "the left" will attack you and say that you can't possibly suffer as much as all these minorities is probably more... half true more than completely false.
"The left" (or at least, reasonable people) recognise that cishet men of all races are impacted by toxic masculinity, and that class and poverty are definite factors influencing quality of life. However, they also recognise that privileged people also tend to insert themselves into discussions about marginalised groups, shifting the focus from one issue onto another. A classic example is men turning discussions of domestic violence against women into discussions about domestic violence against men. Both horrible phenomena that we should work to reduce; yet one group is much more impacted by domestic violence than another, and if the topic at hand is about a marginalised community, what is there to gain from shifting the discussion to a different group?
I think it's worth stressing that your problems, especially mental health issues, are totally valid, and you are deserving of all the help you feel you need. But it's also important to recognise that intersectionality means different groups of people experience far different issues, some more pervasive or harder to mask than others.
Damn, I'm rambling...
At the end of this, I think you're a reasonable person! I just didn't want you to write off "the left" too fast. Cause "the right" typically want to maintain the status quo, while "the true(?) left" want to change things for the better for all types of people, including you!
My rant is also very stream of consciousness, sorry.
It's about equity vs equality baby. Equality wants everyone to be able to peer over a fence, so provides everyone with the same size crate to stand on. But some people are shorter than others, and still might not be able to see over the fence. Equity recognises that different groups of people have been oppressed in different ways, so provides the shorter people with larger crates than the tall people so that everyone, no matter their height, can see over the fence. No reasonable progressive wants to take your crate away, make you shorter somehow, or build a higher fence in front of you. We want you to see what's on the other side of the fence with us.
Have a nice life! (Not sarcasm)
"the political spectrum isn't a line, it's a horse shoe." That's actually very well said.
@@clara_corvus that's not a new thing, look up horseshoe theory
Being vulnerable is never without risk. But you never want to cut yourself down because you assume some one will do it anyways. I am glad you took the risk and posted.
This is why it kind of bothers me when Zuko ignores her in The Phoenix King. So much of Toph's story is about learning to open up, so having him ignore her like that, then playing it as a joke never sat well with me.
I feel like a large part of people ignoring her arc is that it’s relatively short. It’s pretty much over by S3E7 The Runaway, just 21 episodes after she’s introduced. Compared to other characters who’s arcs go almost the entire series. It doesn’t take an incredible amount of time, and is resolved before the halfway point of book 3
Unlike some arcs in storytelling, we get to see the reward of her arc. It's not always common to see just how rewarding and awesome it is to finally overcome your own troubles and trust people. She managed to launch them onto an airship taking off, kill bugs she had no hope of seeing or locating, and wrote a personal letter to her parents. None of that would've happened without her arc, and if it had resolved on Sozin's Comet instead, we'd get to see one or two deeds *maybe*. I disagree, seeing the reward of an arc is equally as pleasing as the arc itself!
It's also a much more subtle arc compared to the other characters having multiple more obvious and less nuanced arcs.
Now that I think about it, I absolutely cannot imagine Toph from when we first meet her asking where something is that she can't see with her earthbending, and then using what that person tells her to make a decision. It's such a small detail with the airships but it adds so much. Next thing you're gonna be telling me Suki has a character arc lmao
There’s an old story about Napoleon Hill. His son was born deaf, barely able to hear, and everyone told him they should send him to a special Ed school. In those days (1910s and 20s) it would basically be an asylum.
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He refused, saying his son would attend normal school and learn to live with his disability and he told him that one day, it would be his blessing and would work for him instead of working against him.
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Years later when he found one of the first working hearing aids, he wrote the owner witn a five point plan for spreading them to those who needed to hear. He was given a position and lived a very succesful life as a businessman giving hearing to those who, like him, were denied it.
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Like Toph, what once was a weakness became a strength and a blessing.
that's amazing!!!!
Yeah... Basing it on the history of Napoleon Hill, that's probably 100% bullshit, I'm sad to say.
Wasn't Napoleon Hill a conman?
@@snakearekat2634
Yes, he was. To say the least.
This honestly made me love Toph even more than I did already. I love how she seems tough on the outside, but sometimes lets her soft and caring side show through
One of the best portrayals of a disabled character.
Who never needed help, such is the stereotype.
Actually, from what I understand, her arc is Learning that you might not need help to get things done, but being willing to except it from people who are not being patronizing and dumb, doesn't make you weak. Getting help make things easier, and if you get it from people who understand that you're able to do it on your own, but you also want to make life easier for yourself, and help those who love you express their love by helping you, doesn't make you weak. Also, expressing your feelings doesn't make you weak. This part I didn't get until just now, although I have been working on the feelings thing, at least expressing it to others. I've always been good about my feelings, but my family isn't the best at listening to them, and validating them, and I didn't really pick up to this part of her arc until this video, but it makes total sense! God I love her so much! She was teaching me things even I didn't notice!
She definitely used to be my favourite disabled character in fiction... But then Amaya in The Dragon Prince.
@@567secret they're tied for me. Considering Aaron Ehasz wrote both of them, I wouldn't expect any less. He's the guy who suggested making Toph A girl in the first place, so if Amaya wasn't as good as she is, I'd be very surprised and disappointed. Also, don't forget the episode with the dog! The whole episode, and my expectations were sadly low, because I forgot that Aaron was a main writer, that it was going to be a pity the dogs episode, but fuck no! I was super happily wrong! I've never been more happy to be wrong in my entire life! It was all about people being stupid and not excepting the three legged popper on my God! The Doggo!
Not to mention the jokes about her disability too! I don’t know how many jokes I’ve made about myself and my cerebral palsy! Its sooooo trueeee
It’s really amazing how subtle all these things are in the show. And unless you’re familiar with these problems, it’s really easy to be oblivious of them
there are lots of blind people who're trained for independence, often taking it further than an ordinarily sighted person, sometimes crazy-far, and not just as a reaction to the well-meaning but clueless. I know several like that. My husband'll accept my help, of course, but he trusts that I know what help he's likely to need and what he blinking well doesn't need help on.
He's lucky his mom fought against her own elders' efforts to over-coddle him. His grandmother told me to cut up his meatballs and butter his bread when she took us out for dinner once in a while. Like what the hell? He did it at the uni cafeteria all the time, all on his own. His tendency to absentminded professor-dom is a far bigger problem than his congenital glaucoma.
I honestly have seen that mentality with anybody that is disabled, myself included (I'm in a wheelchair). The disabled as a whole tend to despise pity, but, I think most of us hate _misplaced_ pity because it is sympathetic sorrow by definition, which is something the average stranger hasn't earned the right to since they barely know them. Of course, knowing a person or at least _thinking_ you do can have it's own problems as you demonstrated with your husband's grandmother Helen Keller-ing him.
What the hell? this mentality genuinely disturbs me. When I was in elementary school. I had enough sight to do exams on my own. But I was still placed in the exam hall for the students with “special needs” as they are called, because I needed more time. Anyway, I used to be asked a million times during exams if I needed help, if I needed them to read for me, if I needed them to write for me. And when I would say no every time, they would complain to my parents about me refusing help. I mean seriously, even a kid wouldn’t be that stubborn. If I really needed help, I would’ve gave in after the number of times you asked. But I didn’t say yes because it was easier for me to do the test on my own. I don’t know why people can’t fathom that idea
@@august1837 It feels like it breaks their image of a helpless child
@@august1837 I don't see why you would be annoyed by this. Well meaning people who just aren't doing it good enough for you? I don't see the problem. Because it's not a problem until you make it one. It's a non issue that doesn't need to exist and it's so much more reasonable to accept that people will always misunderstand and need to be allowed to learn to understand on their own than to be upset that they don't and react with prideful hostility in an attempt to force the many. It's demanding is what it is. Judge people by their intentions not their capacity to please you.
@@viktoriyaserebryakov2755 I don't think you understood their point. I am not disabled, but I have had well meaning people try way too hard before. The main problem is usually that they are trying to help without actually understanding what the problem is or how you are already dealing with it and, above all, they frequently don't try to understand it. They just assume they already know.
If someone tries to help while just assuming they know the problem and situation, they will often make it worse on their attempts on helping and just become an obstacle for the solutions you already have. Furthermore, if you try to tell them about the problem, your solutions and why what they are doing is less helpful than they think, they just straight up ignore you (sometimes, they may get offended) since they believe they already know what the problem is.
I think a good comparison would be when a small child wants to help an adult (maybe a parent) with a problem. Frequently, that problem is something that they don't comprehend and what they try to do to help either doesn't really do anything or, more often, kinda of gets in the way. They are well meaning, but their actions are a lot less than helpful and the adult will either have to convince the kid to stop or have to do extra work later because of the "help" the kid gave. The major difference here is that kids usually just can't, for a number of reasons, understand the problem in question while well meaning and unhelpful adults just decide they already know all they need to know and never actually try to understand. It is honestly frustrating.
On @Tia Hammad 's case, it seems to me that the person asking if they needed help had already decided that, since they were there, they did. Because of that, when Tia refused their help, they just assumed it was because of some pride or something (not so different from how you Viktoriya assumed Tia complained just because the person failed to please them). That led to an excessive amount of questioning and even complaints to Tia's parents about them refusing help.
I would need Tia's confirmation on that, but I got the impression from their message that, while annoying, it would be "fine" if it were just the excessive asking, but the fact that they were so stubborn on believing they already knew what was happening that they just complained to Tia's parents puts them on a superior level of stubbornness than the stubbornness of a kid.
TL;DR:
I don't think it was about Tia being displeased by their help not being good enough but they being so sure they knew what Tia needed (even without actually trying to understand the situation) that they would not accept what Tia said no matter how many times they said it.
P.S. Yes, I know that tl;dr is a bit too big XD
this whole video was great, but I love that starting at 9:30 that book on the side looks like it's called the Shadow of Yoshi
As a blind person who self isolates and constantly masks to avoid people pitying me this hit HARD
how did you type this- or click on this video
@@GoodVibebuilds IIRC, there are in fact blind computers and the like with braille to help blind people watch (well, in this case, listen to) YT videos and the like.
The fear of opening up to others and the temptation to isolate oneself isn't exclusive to those with a physical difference. Everyone has fears and bad experiences which hold us back. All of us abhor pity, but I think pity comes from that same fear of being perceived as weak as they have no idea how they would handle being blind. It's their problems, not yours, that cause them to do that. I hope you find your way to a connection to people who value who you are as a person and find your strength to accept it.
@@GoodVibebuilds there's also text to speech.
@@JayKBishop so u are not full on blind like toph just like blurry visioned
8:51 Holy carp, that scene has so much tension on its own, but thinking of how little sight she has in that one moment is terrifying.
Every time I think I've turned over every stone in this series, someone has something amazing like this to add. Now I get to marvel at the fact that this is one of the first shows my generation got with a character with a disability in the main cast, but a complex and fleshed out character arc about her coming to terms with needing the help where she does. What amazing work from the writing staff!
I love that you also touched on the places where her being a young girl compounds and interacts with her disability (and vice versa). I'm able bodied and have my sight, but I related to Toph in so many ways as a young girl watching this show. Because her experience of being talked down to and pitied and expected not to be able to perform at the same level as her peers was very parallel to my experience as a 12 year old girl.
To see her flip that narrative through her own choices and actions and being an unmitigated badass was one my first memories of recognizing a feeling of empowerment. Toph was a young girl who knew what she was capable of and refused to let others tell her anything to the contrary. She basically says to the world "I am amazing at what I do and you cannot and will not tell me otherwise. I won't hear it." She literally announces that she's the greates earthbender of all time because she knows she is and never thinks to second guess herself. And who's gonna argue with her about it?
While it took me a long time to internalize that message, seeing Toph on my TV was definitely what planted the seed.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I guess I had more thoughts than I initially knew.
His point around 9:40 is something I run into all the time. I’ve been ill since I was 11 and well, it’s usually just another part of me. But when I need to reach out or vent, it’s hard, because if even the specialists can’t fix it, what can my friends and family hope to do? And when it comes to my family, all of them are and were ill as well, so it felt worse to complain about this thing they knew about but that we couldn’t change.
When my mom was dying of cancer, after nearly 40 years with Lupus and the illness i also have, she told me, “Imagine you go into the hospital, having fallen and broken all the bones in your body. Then a guy comes in and has horrific burns over most of his body, his skin just melting or boiled off in places. It doesn’t make your shattered body hurt less. Knowing that someone else is in their own agony doesn’t silence yours. It’s still there and just as real and valid as theirs is.”
She also said, “Don’t compare your pain with mine; it’s not wrong to bring up your pain when you know I have pain from my cancer added to my chronic pain. I love you and want to know how you are, and if my scale for pain is different than yours, that doesn’t make yours any less important.”
After I met my fiancé, it was difficult but important to get this across to him; he felt bad complaining if he sprained his wrist, tweaked his back, or had a tension headache because of his neck and pain located there. He felt guilty, because he felt it was so small compared to what I had to suffer, and have suffered for over two decades.
Well, he came to know my mother’s philosophy, and we’re a better and stronger couple for it. We can be real with each other. He doesn’t have to hide his pain (of any kind), and I don’t have to feel like a big drag to admit when I’m not doing so well. For me, just having someone CHOOSE to dwell in the suck, knowing there’s not much to do, that’s everything. Most people find it too depressing, can’t handle seeing it, don’t want the stress. But He’s right there with me. For the first time since I was 11, I have people choosing to be there with me.
This week his mother came and took care of me after I had surgery, using her nursing background to help me with post op care and even showering and getting dressed. She made sure I took my meds and stuff, but she also chose to dwell in the suck just when she didn’t have anything she could do for me actively, and it made a world of difference. I was so happy. Some people get horrible meddlers for mother-in-laws, but I got her!!! She’s going to be my maid of honor at my wedding; it means that much to me that she actively chose to be there, dwell in the suck, and accept me for who I am.
Some Mothers would want to drive me off because they’d think I’m not worthy of their kid due to my genes or because my illness has worn me down quite a bit and it’ll be the challenge of my life to have kids, moreso than for healthy people. But she just sees me as ME, and because of that, and the great love I bear for her son, that is enough, and I am enough.
It truly makes all of the difference, just like Toph found out. And while I wish I’d found an intrepid band of friends at a much younger age, so my memories were filled with more laughter and less silence, I’m just relieved I found my person. I don’t need many people; as long as just one person SEES me and knows me snd didn’t think me a waste of space or resources, I can handle the pain and the silence that inevitably comes.
This makes me think on my struggles in life and why I had a hard time even admitting that I needed help. I was raised with the idea that needing help meant you were doing something wrong, that if you were doing everything right you wouldn’t need it. Even years later I struggle to talk to people when I am over my head or unsure what to do. But I am doing better and going farther than I would have ever been able to if I tried to do it all on my own.
Thanks for pointing this out! You really held up a mirror for me, since her "I can pull my own weight" was a very big problem for me and still is from time to time.
I have been seeing a therapist for a while now but your video made me realize that I still have work to do in that regard (which I didn't think until watching) and especially your closing words really touched me, because even though I don't think going to therapy is weak it was still darn touching and uplifting to hear you saying that there's no threshold one has to "achieve".
Thank you!
A moment of Toph needing help aswell was the Serpents Pass
Needing it, yes. Choosing it, no. It would have been a good thing to point out as a milestone in development.
I still don't understand why she didn't just make a bridge from the ocean floor.
th fact i didnt think about how toph perspective was so amazing makes me tear up so many times because of how much trust is needed to be so calm in such a way thats always by anyones side
I can't believe you keep making these masterpieces. Thank you for delivering the type of high quality content this show deserves.
You made me cry at the end. This helped me open up to my mother about my depression. She was very supportive. Thank you so much.
Jesus, every time I learn something new about This show, the more I love it.
Agreed. So much depth for a Nickelodeon cartoon.
Same ready to watch it again
@@ojaededajuice I finished watching it for the second time recently. I can’t get over it
It is beyond my understanding how we can still look back at this cartoon almost 15 years after it has ended and still learn so much from it every time we look closer at a single character or relationship, but am I glad that it exists. Thank you for shining a light on Toph like that with this essay.
At the end you say "Toph didn't struggle with this..." which is largely because ever since her episodic introduction and gradual integration into the Gaang, she was rarely ever alone again.
Psychologically, her greatest internal confrontation was when she couldn't save Appa from abduction in "The Library." That's probably the most alone she felt since joining Team Avatar, mostly blind in sand and with peril on all sides.
It's something worth thinking about.
I just remember this Tv tropes opinated guide about Avatar the Last Airbender.
It's easy to find, it's from many years ago and the reviewer may as well have a different take of it nowadays, but for the sake of discussion I'll bring it here.
It wasn't exactly fair at all, in this review even the first episode of Aang going Avatar state was considered a ""deus ex machina"" as if a misterious luminous child from a iceberg isn't foreshadowing enough and as if it wasn't like... literally the first two episodes of set up.
It had many many unreasonable nitpicky criticism, specially harsh on Katara and Toph, the latter which the user said "any chances of character development was lost" and then concluding the show was a waste of time, and back then as I didn't know better I thought maybe I was biased and needed to revisit the series with more critical eyes.
If there is any chance this person is reading this, just wanted to say that as someone that learnt more about storytelling and stuff from this channel and other sources and came to rewatch the series recently, opinions and tastes aside...
The critical take on it back then was WAY far off and innacurate.
Who wrote that? Jeremy from Cinemasins?
@@EvilOverlord1662 I know Jerry comes off as a nitpicky asshole, but he has genuinely great insights majority of the time. His writing has gotten worst as he seems a bit desperate, but I'm sure he wouldn't be so blind as to write a character analysis as described here.
@@talphazero1036 If he fully committed to either being silly or critiquing thoughtfully instead of poorly straddling a half-assed balance of the two, I think his content and reputation would improve.
@@sluttyMapleSyrup people are just too god damn stupid and either treat everything he says as gospel or useless nitpicking
I don't have a physical disability but my autism makes it near impossible for me to ask for help without breaking down into tears and people telling me that I need to stop crying. Toph spoke to me because I have to put up this shell of myself that is similar to the real me, but isn't the whole truth.
leave it to atla to have the character who seems the most skin deep to have a deeper arc than many can see. great video!
Perhaps we were the ones who were blind all along.
I think one other moment that deserves some attention regarding this theme but wasn't mentioned was Sokka telling Toph that he can't remember what his mother looked like. He says he hasn't told anyone this before because that kind of grief can be so hard to openly express to other people (particularly to people who have not had a similar experience). Sokka being able to open up to Toph about something with that much emotional weight I feel is a significant moment in her arc because it is really hard to be the first one to open yourself up emotionally, Sokka's initial openness makes Toph feel more comfortable and I think this is why Toph has such a closeness with Sokka as the series moves on he trusted her with some of his deepest pain and so she is able to trust in him.
A:tla really had the most diverse and complex character arcs... we got to watch so many characters’ growth throughout the show, and each time that I noticed a character’s progress, it made me very happy. I’ve said it a million times, I’ll say it a million more: this show is an absolute, brilliant masterpiece. It will always have a special place in my heart. Always and forever.
look. toph and azula are my favorites. and i didn't think i could love toph even more than i already did. until i watched this. and honestly. thanks for the words that also don't necessary connect to toph.
i especially loved "she's minimizing the pain that not getting that validation from others causes her." though. ppl who get the validation wouldn't understand. and telling someone that they need to "just not care" or "give themselves that validation" doesn't effing work. and if it worked for oneself, it doesn't mean that it works for others.
Thank you Tim. As someone who finally got the therapy they needed after many, many, *MANY* years, I needed this so much right now.
4:32 I don’t know why but Sokka protecting Toph like that just hits me hard
“While it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.” Iroh
Awwww! Oh my gosh, what a heartwarming video.
To reiterate what he said from around 9:50 on to anyone who needs to hear it: please don’t buy that logic of “you can’t be sad, someone else somewhere has it worse than you”. Like one meme put it: saying that is like saying “you can’t be happy because someone else somewhere has it better than you.” Be sad, be happy, just don’t cut out the emotions.
This video came at just the right time in my life. Currently struggling with career choices and the like. I thought I could soldier it all on my own....but life tends to prove otherwise.
Thanks !!!
You make a great point about how Toph flings herself onto the airship with Sokka and Suki, choosing to rely on them, and how that is a result of her growth. I think we see that even more fully when we consider the siege of Ba Sing Se, where Toph chose to stay outside the metal drill where she can see and has earth to bend. At that point, Toph didn't even seem to consider going inside the drill to sabotage it with the others. Of course you could say she's just thinking strategically that she will be more useful with her earth bending, and that may be true, but I definitely think that staying in her comfort zone was part of that decision. And she could have done a similar thing in both cases -- she could have stayed on the ground and thrown rocks at the airships. I think the writers made both of these situations similar so we can see Toph's growth by how she approaches them differently because of how much she knows and trusts her friends.
I emailed the Samaritans the other day because I was so close to the edge mentally. At the end of my email I apologised for getting in touch. That apology was the first thing they addressed in their reply telling me that I shouldn't feel sorry for seeking help. One of the things I hate most about my mental illness is that it hurts and effects others I can't help but feel awful about that even though I know it is wrong
My best friend is legally blind (partial vision in one eye) and Toph reminds me of her so much. They're both so independent and confident. She constantly has to remind me that she can't see when I try to point stuff out to her, because in every other way, she is just as capable as a seeing person. Sometimes she wears her disability proudly, and says "others will move, I'm not a burden, they can get out of my way just as easily" and sometimes she's a little more insecure about it, because she wants to see the world and enjoy it, but she can't. For as long as we've been friends, I've never seen someone let her feel like a burden, she's never been coddled, so she's never ashamed. But it's hard, because I love her so much, to see her passion burn out a little when she can't enjoy something quite as much as us seeing people do.
Toph is and always has been my favourite ATLA character, I just love her story her arc and it hits so close to home with me that I don't even know how to express it correctly. Thank you for the video Tim ❤️
This hit pretty hard, as only a month ago I lost near everything I owned in a house fire and had to rely on other people for assistance and had a very hard time in doing so
It took only until very recently to really accept this help but it still feels hard
You hit the nail on the head when you said people don't reach out because they don't want to put their problems on other people
Bringing another great video to a beautiful close. I think I needed this.
To be genuinely honest, I haven't cried so much in my life in these 2 weeks than the rest of my 19 years being alive. I may have been alive for awhile, but the feeling of isolation and high-frequency depression has made me felt alone for. so. long. I will do more to show my appreciation for people who put in the passion and care for others, because I appreciate the way this video was put together. I 100% resonate with it. And the way you beautifully portray her message as Toph's character arc to giving your own message as well. I will do more to learn to grow as a person, while relying on help time to time. Opening up and getting shut down hurts. No one deserves it.
Avatar content! Whoo-hoo! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Edit: 4:32 Sokka shielding Toph's body here was excellent, and show how selfless he truly is.
It's amazing how profound the interactions between characters impact in the perception of said characters. Great video
Yeah I can relate with her I have had problems I'm still trying to face mentally for over 5 years, the only tip for me to you if you need help try to get it as fast as possible even if your scared or your told you can't due to something before it can become permanent
hey man,
I really appreciate the way you're able to relate these characters to real life problems and all that. You have an exceptional talent tim!
Everytime I watch your videos I appreciate even more how well written ATLA is.
I love how you mentioned swimming. Having also swam competitively, I was around the same environment but due to autism my emotions were always on display regardless of who I was talking too. Never paid it any mind until a guy I really looked up too took me to the side and thanked me profusely because every guy was cold and distant but I wasn't (in all honesty there were certainly other open minded guys on our team but he probably floated outside of their friend groups), and that is a memory i will take to my grave.
I have never seen a better example of a character joining the main group late in a series. She balances out the group perfectly!
And creates great character conflict at the same time.
I relate to Toph a lot because I’m disabled and often found it hard to ask for help and growing up there was rarely any characters like her on tv if there was they only showed up in one episode they weren’t a side character like Toph and the representation was poor and focused on them being disabled instead of them being a person and I’m glad that Toph was portrayed as person
Toph is one of my favorite characters in Avatar. You nailed her character arc. Great job!
This was so sweet, thank you. I went on a season 4 re-watch binge a couple weekends ago because i love seeing over and over again how all these characters I love change and grow together. Toph has always been one of my favourite characters of all time, but even her story was a little too mature and abstract for younger me. Re-watching her open up and be vulnerable is so important for me now in my adult life, truly cementing the timlessness of this show for me. Thanks for the video
Not a single wasted word. Great video.
That last minute hit me really hard, as someone who has struggled with those feelings for years, it's only in the last year or two that I have started to reach out and it has helped tremendously.