This book has everything! Would-be terrorists with an affinity for water-polo, American snipers being stopped from extrajudicially killing Barry White by a bite to the testicle, celebrity chefs, and Henry VIII's lost tennis ball.
I too thought this comment was a joke, but when I finished the video and found out it wasn't, I came to comment that the spoilers for this book are like JoJo's spoilers where you can be told anything and people feel the need to watch just to find out how accurate the insane sounding spoilers were. Damn though, I was beaten to the punch on both comments.
My reaction to almost every sentence in this book: -Wow, that's racist -Wow, that's bad writing -What on Earth was he thinking -Wow, that's also racist
I mean, Churchill himself was also racist as fuck soooooo.... 🤷 What would you seriously expect from a flaming racist writing a book about another flaming racist? O_o
I thought that too, but then I looked it up and while the official language of Nigeria is English, there are hundreds of spoken languages used daily. That said, English is the official language of education. Seems odd that a Nigerian man would go to England knowing zero English when he could learn it at home, but it's not impossible. However, I doubt Boris bothered to give the Nigerian traffic warden any kind of detailed backstory or even, you know, thought.
@@OwlCriticism Let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, that I became president. Would it not then follow that retirement would be banned forever, and all coastal houses be sold to Aquaman.
Reminds me of an old quote from some old, forgotten internet forum: "The only difference between fanfiction and a novel is whether you charge 20 quid for it"
The only difference between fanfiction and a novel is if you use characters from another series. Fiction written by a fan of, and taking place in a series, is fanfiction. Take away the series to be a fan of, and you just have fiction.
@@VoxAstra-qk4jzthis is a joke that usually says "a work on ao3" or "a wattpad story" but that only works in regards to specific sites. Using fanfiction instead of amateur internet literature is just for style.
@VoxAstra-qk4jz Yeah I agree with the comment above, the OP was probably using fanfiction to mean amateur internet literature in general. There actually isn't a clear divide between fanfiction and novel: there are classic novels that are arguably are fanfiction of existing works or real people. Like The Song of Achilles is fanfiction of The Iliad, Dante's Inferno is RPF, the Arthurian legends were a series of fanfics of previous legends. And there is original fiction posted on ao3 or wattpad that is very fanfic-y, just like some published novels. But also some incredible fanfics.
"'yowk' said jason pickel" might be one of the best lines ive ever read. howling with laughter. i can't believe this man was prime minister. yowk indeed
And the use of the verb "said". Boris prides himself on the dumbass esoteric silliness he lazily employs in place of an actual vocabulary, as we see throughout this book, and yet *here* he reverts to kindergarten-reader-level word use? Who on Earth has ever "said" anything while being *bitten on the testicle*? Screamed, shrieked, agonized, maybe, but "said"? Few things are on quite as clear a display in this work as Johnson's complete refusal to ever critically-evaluate his own choices. The narcissism is palatable.
@michaelccozens i imagine that Sargent Pickle is so battle hardened that a bite to the bollock was a mere inconvenience. I imagine he did infact state the word "yowk" as a simple communication that his ball was bitten. He feels no pain
@@deechonada yowk is such a cartoony word too. he can't even conceptualize pain, so he doesn't know that "yowk" is something you would say only if you were a cartoon cat who had an anvil dropped on them. he's so far removed from pain he doesn't even understand the nomenclature of suffering.
I have 5 friends from Nigeria from 4 different parts of Nigeria and 2 different tribes. Yes English is the official language in Nigeria, but that doesnt mean everyone speaks, much less was taught it as a first language. In the case of every single person that I know who is from Nigeria, it was taught later in life. Igbo or Yoruba was the first language of the folks that I know personally. One of the 2 brothers that I know still struggles with it as a 60 year old man. I'm not hating. If I moved to Nigeria, I, raised with Latin Spanish, English, and Creole, would struggle with Igbo for a while until I learned it well. I'm saying this to say that just because the official language of a nation is listed as something, doesn't mean that the people necessarily speak it.
yes especially in countries with so many languages India has government in English, although they're trying to change that lol, but less than half the country speaks English, and many not completely A way of creating a national government is good though, so no state has advantage
Boris is the ultimate parody of a tory, a parody so perfect that the Tory voters saw it and thought "yes, exactly this! This is what we want as our prime minister!"
this was such a brilliant video. a proper exposé on the beliefs boris has. and to your point about why the men were called by their surname and women by their first name (and this is just my opinion): it’s because men own their surnames. when women get married they don’t keep their surname, they take their husbands name. it’s a way of showing these women were most likely not married. the fact that the wife in the book doesn’t even have a name is reminiscent of how curley’s wife doesn’t have a name in of mice and men. where steinbeck does it to show misogyny in society, boris does it because he’s misogynistic. the wife doesn’t need a name because all you need to know about her is that she’s married to boris’ self insert
It's actually a throwback to the traditions of the British private school system (in which Johnson was educated) where all pupils are only ever referred to by their last names. It's what he knows, what he perceives to be the correct way to address people and therefore what he includes.
Blatant plagiarism and so arrogant and unctuous didn't even bother to change the name of the lingerie shop . Funny he in effect compared his fictional MP (Johnson) to Spode the fascist who owned eulalie . He was UK pm unbelievable
@@theredguy4043Depends on if it’s a homemade Yorkshire pudding, Aunt Bessie’s or the last Yorkshire pudding of Queen Elizabeth miraculously preserved by freak conditions accompanied by a prolific backstory.
As someone who is an aspiring writer, I often am crippled with self doubt when it comes to my ideas. Yet some people just spew out books even when they can barely string out a sentence.
I once knew someone who was responsible for transcribing an interview with a local rapper. Any time the words 'rapper' or 'rapping' came up, she instead wrote 'raper' and 'raping', every time without fail. So don't worry, you'll never fuck up as badly as that.
This is how Tory's empower eachother, they write / paint / sculpt any old crap and one of their corrupt mates will pay through the nose for it.. or just play tennis for 60k a pop. It's the oldest fraud going.
Stephen King advised that aspiring authors read BAD books. The sort of thing that makes you think "Well, if this rubbish got published, it can't be THAT hard!"
Oh, did his great form and awesome abs trigger you? /s 😅 😅 Men calling themselves alpha male, a debunked pseudoscience, will always be funny to me. It's like horoscopes but for men. 💀
Well they recognize loosely that art has deeper meanings. They just often lack the skills to write with any accurate commentary. Let alone any subtlety or nuance. So they write propaganda. The other reason is that a lot of them are just islamaphobic.
Johnson also wrote a biography of Churchill, and seems to model himself on him--without the wit, gravitas or healthy hate of fascism. He seems to assume that just saying lots of vaguely patriotic waffle and being mean to people makes them alike.
He seems to have tried (and failed) to take P G Wodehouse’s style of writing and make it his own. Not just the style, Eulalia Souer is literally a lingerie shop in P G Wodehouses book which is confused for an affair
as a Muslim just the title made my eyes roll. this the same dude who a) said he was with the Muslims on their platforms and b) said women in purda and hijab looked like letterboxes and from the content of the book it seems as if he's a die hard racist. the way he wrote the Nigerian man's speech is disgusting, for lack of a better word
What's more shocking is the UK government recently warned against people committing hate crimes towards people of islamic faith. There's a way to be critical yet respectful of someone's faith. Publishing a book titled after the supposed "promised virgins" in the islamic afterlife is not it. I'm not a huge fan of religion myself, and the way it's written sounds inherently racist. Now, the UK government wants to make military service mandatory to go fight a war in gaza over **checks notes** faith disagreements.
@@tomd96 i am not really surprised from what ive gathered britan kinda hates muslims. more than america i think, which is saying something. i pretty much have the same criticisms of islam as i do for christianity lol, but since i live in america where the majority of the population is christian and they keep trying to do christian nationalism i always find it suspicious when another american disproportionately critisizes islam compared to christianity. this was pretty common in atheist youtube in the mid 2010s, it wasnt as obviously racist as it is coming from a conservative christian and it contain some actual normal criticism but they were very weird about muslims in a way they werent for christians. atheist youtube is a lot better these days lol its a lot of leftist creators who focus on real problems caused by religion (usually focusing on christianity esp if theyre american which a lot of them are) and also dont ignore the marginalization of certain religions
Roderick Spode is a spoof of Oswald Mosley, the leader of the Blackshirts in 1930s England, who wanted the Germans to start a war in Europe with the help of the British and subjugate everyone else. Unlike Bertie Wooster, who is an aristocrat, or Mosley, whose family riches were based on industry in the NW of England, Spode makes his money from owning a lingerie shop catering to upper-class ladies in London.
Imagine trying to explain parking contraventions and the reasoning behind why the roadways should be kept clear and not even understanding the language.
Pretty sure a Nigerian would speak English since it’s a former colony and their official language is English. This man did zero research aside from, “he’s foreign and therefore can’t speak as dapply as me.”
@@noodlebrains2689 To play a tiny bit of Boris' advocate here, English is only the official language of Nigeria. Not everyone there can speak it and there are many other languages spoken in Nigeria. However, to immediately backpedal from defending the no doubt towering intellect of Boris, he literally said the guy was royalty, meaning he definitely would have had a good enough education to be able to speak English already. Hell, rather than a traffic warden he'd probably just be another rich fail son wasting obscene amounts of money all over London lol. I suppose we should thank BoJo for not making him a con man. He is a Nigerian prince, after all.
So there's this one channel I follow that did a dramatic read-through of this book. No joke, the prose is so amateurish that I didn't realize it was bouncing between viewpoints at first, because the author voice doesn't change *at all* between characters.
K, right off the bat: identifying that a fictional character has an Oedipus complex, only to then have them just blurt out a description what an Oedipus complex is... ...is just Boris Johnson saying "I know what an Oedipus complex is!" I guess he figured out how to make more obscure historical references over time, but this sounds like something I wrote as a teenager, in a very bad way.
Disgraced former Prime Minister on a bike! Ive heard this book existed and was bad, but i had no idea just how many slurs are littered throughout it. Its just like Ben Shapiro's book about pornography that has a whole chapter about rap music and thats filled whth unnecessary slurs
I feel like it's justified when talking about Rap music to use as many slurs for every group that's involved. How many funny slurs might one have for the likes of Eminem?
As an American adult who was baffled and devastated when Trump was elected here, it gave me a certain amount of Schadenfreude to watch the UK deal with Boris Johnson around the same time. At least we could suffer together. Misery loves company, right? No, but in all seriousness, it was awful that even more countries had to fight against the inept decisions made by these leaders, especially regarding Covid containment. I'm sorry UK citizens were also suffering even more than Covid alone forced us to during this time.
I’m not an anarchist, but knowing that this book came out in 2003 and the man that wrote it was allowed to go on to be not only mayor of London but eventually the prime minister pushes me a little bit in that direction
Christ alive. You know what, if Boris could get this published, I think i can actually finish my own book and get it published. It cannot be worse then this.
"he saved the man who accidently shot the president before jumping from the rafters and breaking his leg from getting shot twice" except he didn't because the gun was jammed lol
If this is a reflection of bojos "world view 'albeit a bowderised version,then it explains his abject failure as prime minister,despite a vast majority,because he just couldn't be arsed
I can only imagine the damage done to your brain cells while enduring this book, because I can feel the rot setting in on mine just with this exposure. Thank you for your sacrifice.
15:57 17 chapters in 100 pages!? Holy cow, you weren’t kidding about that chapter length! That is, like, fewer pages per chapter than a manga comic. Thinking back, the last novel I read had, like, 4-5 chapters in the first 100 pages.
“Prang” is also used a lot by British people to describe car collisions (usually minor ones), and “-meister” is used by British men of about Johnson’s age and social demographic to mean that someone is/does whatever you put in front of it very often or very well. If my dad called someone a “prangmeister” I’d assume he was calling them a very bad driver, ie someone who is always getting into minor collisions. Johnson is exactly the type of person to be using slang like this. But Johnson also loves using words from other languages, so you could easily be right.
House of Cards and its sequels were written by a Tory MP, which is bizarre to me because Francis Urquhart is probably the most clear example of why nobody should ever vote Conservative in all of fiction. I don't know if the author was trying to tell the story of a charismatic villain corrupting the party, or if he'd just become utterly jaded and wanted to call out the other party members covertly, but Urquhart isn't even particularly remarkable in his awfulness when compared to actual Conservative MPs, he's just slightly more effective at manipulation. Admittedly I'm only familiar with the BBC adaptations starring Ian Richardson, so they may have reframed things to better fit the social attitudes of people in the Thatcher era, but it's a genuinely well executed concept where an absolutely terrible person sacrifices the last vestiges of goodness within themselves to attain power at any cost, leaving a path of devastation behind them as they slide further and further into outright fascism. The parallels to the rise of Thatcher and Reagan are very apparent, so it may be an intentional rebuttal to neoliberalism from someone who considers it a subversion of the party's values, or it could be a complete accident that the story he wanted to tell demonstrated everything wrong with conservatism.
Why do people like you insist on giving political bad actors cover by pretending that their malfeasance is inherent to any and all political endeavours? Sheer self-serving laziness?
Labour MP Jess Philips has written some VERY good non-fiction books that explain politics to laypeople. Though I confess, my first thought was Edwina Currie and her 90's "bonkbusters", so Philips might be the exception that proves the rule.
i really want to own this book just to open any random page and laugh my ass off on days i’m feeling like a failure, but i refuse to fund this guy in any way shape or form
I love how every story involving political reps always and without exception treats the Secret Service as bumbling incompetents who are only capable of reacting (poorly at that) to a attack rather than preventing it without anyone realizing (like they do frequently irl)
This was an excellent analysis. I must issue a correction; I went to a hellish boys grammar school in the late 80s/early 90s and it did, in fact, have a water polo team.
I hope other people can appreciate the fact that you called a correct and clear description of the Oedipus complex "One of the strangest family dinamics in fiction" like I did.
@@OwlCriticismseeing this comment made me kinda sad but then i remembered that your newest video (through which i found your channel) is doing gang busters and that made me happy again. congrats man, you deserve it
"He wrote the book on holiday, just to see if he could"
He could, in fact, not.
i vote this comment for prime minister.
He spent so much time focusing on whether or not he could, that he never stopped to ask himself if he should.
A very Borisng book
It leaves the question If he approached politics in the same manner. One could argue he handled it in a similar fashion
I assume that's why he gave up on styling his hair
"The interesting thing about his slur looks was that he didn't look slur" actually made me explode in laughter
This book wasn't released, it fking escaped 🔥🔥🔥
No mental institution or prison is big enough
this was unreasonably funny 💀
It broke containment from a high security military facility where it was being rightfully kept for the safety of the public.
@@blyatman5891 THE KETER IS LOOSE
Scp kinda deal
This book has everything! Would-be terrorists with an affinity for water-polo, American snipers being stopped from extrajudicially killing Barry White by a bite to the testicle, celebrity chefs, and Henry VIII's lost tennis ball.
Just stated the video, and wow I can't tell if your pulling my leg or not
OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO WTH
Why does this sound like something that would happen in a jojo plotline?
seems to missing the 72 virgins though?
I too thought this comment was a joke, but when I finished the video and found out it wasn't, I came to comment that the spoilers for this book are like JoJo's spoilers where you can be told anything and people feel the need to watch just to find out how accurate the insane sounding spoilers were. Damn though, I was beaten to the punch on both comments.
The fact this man went on to become the PM is a national disgrace
As an Australian, I'd make that an INTERNATIONAL disgrace.
Now you know how us americans felt when we got Trump
@@garrettmetting6938biden too
@@garrettmetting6938 I'm 90% sure Boris was American, so thanks for giving us him.
@@purple-47 He was born in NYC.
My reaction to almost every sentence in this book:
-Wow, that's racist
-Wow, that's bad writing
-What on Earth was he thinking
-Wow, that's also racist
Don't forget sexist
@@ROONLOON True lol
Most of the sexism wasn't even shocking imo tho, just kinda embarrassing
What else did you respect from Trump's British cousin?😂
I mean, Churchill himself was also racist as fuck soooooo.... 🤷 What would you seriously expect from a flaming racist writing a book about another flaming racist? O_o
@@NoxAtlasLMAOOO I NEVER SAW IT UNTIL NOW
I'm a native English-speaker, and this book made me feel like English was my second-language. Maybe even my third.
Same here
I'm not a native English speaker and for just a short while I think I fully forgot the entire concept of the English language
JK Rowling: "Men can't be pregnant but pauses can".
@@morbidsearch most people like to disregard what Rowling says, and for good reasons.
I'm not a native speaker and it sounds like a non native speaker trying to imitate English.
Something about this book is giving Empress Teresa and I don’t know why.
It's the whole self-insert, mary sue, wish fulfillment fantasy aspect of it, I think.
empress theresa may?
Because they're both written by shockingly racist white male narcissists.
Holy sht the cackle upon this realisation
Not enough lusting over young women
the official language of Nigeria is english, why would he be just learning it
I think he's talking about him speaking pigeon?
Oh that one is easy: he’s racist
@@deadpilled2942 you mean pidgin?
only an estimated 53% of Nigerians speaking a form of English
not everyone speaks their country's official language
I thought that too, but then I looked it up and while the official language of Nigeria is English, there are hundreds of spoken languages used daily. That said, English is the official language of education. Seems odd that a Nigerian man would go to England knowing zero English when he could learn it at home, but it's not impossible. However, I doubt Boris bothered to give the Nigerian traffic warden any kind of detailed backstory or even, you know, thought.
Damn, you Brits even got your own version of True Alliegence?
Yes! But if Ben Shapiro was president
@@OwlCriticism
GAH don’t even say those words 🤢🤮 given my countries lack of critical thinking skills, that could possibly happen
@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Accessamerica would never elect a Jewish president
@@OwlCriticism Let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, that I became president. Would it not then follow that retirement would be banned forever, and all coastal houses be sold to Aquaman.
@@MattJDave I'm sure aquaman would appreciate that
Who let boris write a book?! Did his care nurse like leave the room?!
His care nurse should have banned paper and pens near boris
Don't let him cook again
@@GardenData61371bro turned on the stove and blew up the entire block
@@FeeshUnofficialAnd blamed the Muslims for it.
Reminds me of an old quote from some old, forgotten internet forum: "The only difference between fanfiction and a novel is whether you charge 20 quid for it"
The only difference between fanfiction and a novel is if you use characters from another series.
Fiction written by a fan of, and taking place in a series, is fanfiction. Take away the series to be a fan of, and you just have fiction.
@@VoxAstra-qk4jzit's a joke. They were doing a joke
@@VoxAstra-qk4jzthis is a joke that usually says "a work on ao3" or "a wattpad story" but that only works in regards to specific sites. Using fanfiction instead of amateur internet literature is just for style.
@VoxAstra-qk4jz Yeah I agree with the comment above, the OP was probably using fanfiction to mean amateur internet literature in general. There actually isn't a clear divide between fanfiction and novel: there are classic novels that are arguably are fanfiction of existing works or real people. Like The Song of Achilles is fanfiction of The Iliad, Dante's Inferno is RPF, the Arthurian legends were a series of fanfics of previous legends.
And there is original fiction posted on ao3 or wattpad that is very fanfic-y, just like some published novels. But also some incredible fanfics.
@@VoxAstra-qk4jz thanks wikipedia
I can't get over the terrorists complaining about affirmative action in their own terrorist group.
I got it: all the characters with no narrative role are introduced to fill out the ensemble cast of 72, all of whom are virgins
You made it make sense! Or at least as close as it was going to come to sense.
boris' borisisms know no bounds
"'yowk' said jason pickel" might be one of the best lines ive ever read. howling with laughter. i can't believe this man was prime minister. yowk indeed
And the use of the verb "said". Boris prides himself on the dumbass esoteric silliness he lazily employs in place of an actual vocabulary, as we see throughout this book, and yet *here* he reverts to kindergarten-reader-level word use? Who on Earth has ever "said" anything while being *bitten on the testicle*? Screamed, shrieked, agonized, maybe, but "said"?
Few things are on quite as clear a display in this work as Johnson's complete refusal to ever critically-evaluate his own choices. The narcissism is palatable.
@@michaelccozens
Mans started writing and never let an editor read his work and it shows
@@michaelccozens”Ow, that really hurt,” he said monotonously, indifferent to the pain of the sudden wound.
@michaelccozens i imagine that Sargent Pickle is so battle hardened that a bite to the bollock was a mere inconvenience. I imagine he did infact state the word "yowk" as a simple communication that his ball was bitten. He feels no pain
@@deechonada yowk is such a cartoony word too. he can't even conceptualize pain, so he doesn't know that "yowk" is something you would say only if you were a cartoon cat who had an anvil dropped on them. he's so far removed from pain he doesn't even understand the nomenclature of suffering.
I have 5 friends from Nigeria from 4 different parts of Nigeria and 2 different tribes. Yes English is the official language in Nigeria, but that doesnt mean everyone speaks, much less was taught it as a first language. In the case of every single person that I know who is from Nigeria, it was taught later in life. Igbo or Yoruba was the first language of the folks that I know personally. One of the 2 brothers that I know still struggles with it as a 60 year old man. I'm not hating. If I moved to Nigeria, I, raised with Latin Spanish, English, and Creole, would struggle with Igbo for a while until I learned it well. I'm saying this to say that just because the official language of a nation is listed as something, doesn't mean that the people necessarily speak it.
yes especially in countries with so many languages
India has government in English, although they're trying to change that lol, but less than half the country speaks English, and many not completely
A way of creating a national government is good though, so no state has advantage
white people just read wikipedia and assume its infallible
Irelands official first language is Irish and barely anyone speaks or understands that heh
Every word of this book shocks and unnerves me. I couldn't imagine it any other way.
Boris is the ultimate parody of a tory, a parody so perfect that the Tory voters saw it and thought "yes, exactly this! This is what we want as our prime minister!"
As a country with by now two parody presidents, both Republican, I dare not laugh too hard....
@@eric2500 aren't both campaigning right now?
@@MIIRBHnot anymore
Only the orange man continues to continues his relentless campaign again common sense
@@c.o7993 couldn't have known that before he left
@@MIIRBH obviously
But I wanted to get my word in before the next American civil war or whatever the fuck they manage to do after the next election
this was such a brilliant video. a proper exposé on the beliefs boris has. and to your point about why the men were called by their surname and women by their first name (and this is just my opinion): it’s because men own their surnames. when women get married they don’t keep their surname, they take their husbands name. it’s a way of showing these women were most likely not married. the fact that the wife in the book doesn’t even have a name is reminiscent of how curley’s wife doesn’t have a name in of mice and men. where steinbeck does it to show misogyny in society, boris does it because he’s misogynistic. the wife doesn’t need a name because all you need to know about her is that she’s married to boris’ self insert
solid analysis if for precisely the reason that bojo is bojo.
It's actually a throwback to the traditions of the British private school system (in which Johnson was educated) where all pupils are only ever referred to by their last names. It's what he knows, what he perceives to be the correct way to address people and therefore what he includes.
@SuperMickyChow
Were that the case, wouldn't those women be referred to by their surnames as well?
Edit: Corrected a "the" to a " those".
@@RageTyrannosaurus These are single sex schools, not co-ed. Women aren't part of the equation.
@@SuperMickyChow
I was talking about the women in the book he wrote. The ones who were referred to by first name as opposed to surname.
The Eulalie plot point is even more insane because it's stolen! It's taken directly from Jeeves and Wooster of all things.
i knew it sounded familiar!
Blatant plagiarism and so arrogant and unctuous didn't even bother to change the name of the lingerie shop . Funny he in effect compared his fictional MP (Johnson) to Spode the fascist who owned eulalie . He was UK pm unbelievable
Seventy-Two Virgins, One Cup
I would like, but I saw the number the likes were on.
@@Green-Raccoon777299
oh no
Writing 880 words for a tennis ball is so grandiose that I would immediately know it was Boris Johnson who wrote it. That is just too fitting for him.
Stephen King could easily write 880 words about a tennis ball.
granted, Stephen king is an actually good writer
The guy can make an hour long speech about a yorkshire pudding if he wanted to
@@theredguy4043Depends on if it’s a homemade Yorkshire pudding, Aunt Bessie’s or the last Yorkshire pudding of Queen Elizabeth miraculously preserved by freak conditions accompanied by a prolific backstory.
Very true, depending on the specifics it could last until we all die
@@Kila-Innova there's not a lot you can say about aunt bessies other than they are mid af
As someone who is an aspiring writer, I often am crippled with self doubt when it comes to my ideas. Yet some people just spew out books even when they can barely string out a sentence.
you should write! have fun with it
I once knew someone who was responsible for transcribing an interview with a local rapper. Any time the words 'rapper' or 'rapping' came up, she instead wrote 'raper' and 'raping', every time without fail. So don't worry, you'll never fuck up as badly as that.
This is how Tory's empower eachother, they write / paint / sculpt any old crap and one of their corrupt mates will pay through the nose for it.. or just play tennis for 60k a pop. It's the oldest fraud going.
Stephen King advised that aspiring authors read BAD books. The sort of thing that makes you think "Well, if this rubbish got published, it can't be THAT hard!"
“880 words… to describe one of Henry VIII’s tennis balls”
Well now I get how he graduated Oxford
I love finding small, new chanells like yours. Its like my little secret. Keep up the good work
I love that, glad you’re a fan! But I’m hoping my channel doesn’t stay a secret forever
Maybe I'm missing something but the burning question I'm left with is why tf is it called 72 virgins
Muslim afterlife thingie probably
@@stevenseagull4990 OH YEAH ty!
@@cascharles3838 No prob Bruv.
@@cascharles3838it still feels pretty irrelevant to the story though 😭
@@tonoornottono yeah just good ol' Boris finding one more way to poke fun at smthing he doesn't like because it's ✨️different✨️ lmao
Boris Johnson calling other people pasteurized politicians is peak lack of self awareness.
Something about Boris Johnson using the term "alpha male" feels fundamentally wrong.
Oh, did his great form and awesome abs trigger you? /s 😅 😅
Men calling themselves alpha male, a debunked pseudoscience, will always be funny to me.
It's like horoscopes but for men. 💀
This scene with the re-spray painting of the gravestones the night before deserved to be in a better book.
I mean, it’s just Penelope unmaking and remaking her tapestry from the Odyssey, isn’t it?
@@cuttingbored4195 pretty much.
What is it with far right media figures and shitty political thriller novels where nothing happens except islamaphobia.
Grow up
Well they recognize loosely that art has deeper meanings. They just often lack the skills to write with any accurate commentary. Let alone any subtlety or nuance. So they write propaganda. The other reason is that a lot of them are just islamaphobic.
@@MJW000
Answer the question
Just wanking themselves off with a power fantasy because they, currently, don't have the power or chance to actually do it IRL
They got to borrow the plotline that holiday
Who could have expected more than 10 sexual references, stereotypes and slurs per sentence from a book called "72 virgins"!
Why did this man ever have power, of any kind
Racism, mostly.
Question is: why didn't he have MORE power for LONGER?
@@octavianpopescu4776 you're right
White supremacism.
Simple. Money.
"The Boris noises" He is just trying to sound like Churchil, isnt he?
🤮
Johnson also wrote a biography of Churchill, and seems to model himself on him--without the wit, gravitas or healthy hate of fascism. He seems to assume that just saying lots of vaguely patriotic waffle and being mean to people makes them alike.
He's trying to sound like Rowley Birkin QC.
her hymen WHAT??
She got that 『Crazy Diamond』 special
THIS IS THE ONE PLACE WHERE I WASN'T EXPECTING A JOJO'S REFERENCE. But here we are.@@Ryu1ify
Conservatives and Tories are clueless to how women work.
She hired men...
You have no words? When the perfect word "Yowk" was right there?
Magically, I am no longer insecure about my writing skills!
When [sic] shows up this many times in quotes of your book you need to go back and try again. Or better yet, don’t .
Im sorry, I can't handle it anymore.
I don’t blame you.
It's like a parody of Boris Johnson writing in parody
@@deadpilled2942This would be a Mel Brooks film about Boris if Boris hadn’t beat him to it.
this window into bojo's subconscious disturbed me more than it should.
Smegmatic is now a new word I'll use in conversations.
My condolences for having read this in its entirety
Who would've thought that a politician would be good saying a lot of words without communicating anything at all
He seems to have tried (and failed) to take P G Wodehouse’s style of writing and make it his own.
Not just the style, Eulalia Souer is literally a lingerie shop in P G Wodehouses book which is confused for an affair
OHH, so THAT'S why it sounded so familiar.
as a Muslim just the title made my eyes roll.
this the same dude who
a) said he was with the Muslims on their platforms
and b) said women in purda and hijab looked like letterboxes
and from the content of the book it seems as if he's a die hard racist. the way he wrote the Nigerian man's speech is disgusting, for lack of a better word
The Islamophobia in Parliament is actually shocking 🤦🏽♀️
Don't forget this is really bad writing, and all persons of good faith and good English word use deserve to make fun of it!
What's more shocking is the UK government recently warned against people committing hate crimes towards people of islamic faith.
There's a way to be critical yet respectful of someone's faith.
Publishing a book titled after the supposed "promised virgins" in the islamic afterlife is not it.
I'm not a huge fan of religion myself, and the way it's written sounds inherently racist.
Now, the UK government wants to make military service mandatory to go fight a war in gaza over **checks notes** faith disagreements.
@@tomd96 i am not really surprised from what ive gathered britan kinda hates muslims. more than america i think, which is saying something. i pretty much have the same criticisms of islam as i do for christianity lol, but since i live in america where the majority of the population is christian and they keep trying to do christian nationalism i always find it suspicious when another american disproportionately critisizes islam compared to christianity. this was pretty common in atheist youtube in the mid 2010s, it wasnt as obviously racist as it is coming from a conservative christian and it contain some actual normal criticism but they were very weird about muslims in a way they werent for christians. atheist youtube is a lot better these days lol its a lot of leftist creators who focus on real problems caused by religion (usually focusing on christianity esp if theyre american which a lot of them are) and also dont ignore the marginalization of certain religions
Eulalie as the name of a secret lingerie shop is a reference from P.G. Wodehouse.
Roderick Spode is a spoof of Oswald Mosley, the leader of the Blackshirts in 1930s England, who wanted the Germans to start a war in Europe with the help of the British and subjugate everyone else. Unlike Bertie Wooster, who is an aristocrat, or Mosley, whose family riches were based on industry in the NW of England, Spode makes his money from owning a lingerie shop catering to upper-class ladies in London.
Is it a "reference" when it's just flat-out stolen?
I admire your commitment in getting an image of Churchill's legs.
How does a person get a job as a traffic warden in Britain if you cant speak English?
Imagine trying to explain parking contraventions and the reasoning behind why the roadways should be kept clear and not even understanding the language.
Pretty sure a Nigerian would speak English since it’s a former colony and their official language is English. This man did zero research aside from, “he’s foreign and therefore can’t speak as dapply as me.”
@@noodlebrains2689 To play a tiny bit of Boris' advocate here, English is only the official language of Nigeria. Not everyone there can speak it and there are many other languages spoken in Nigeria. However, to immediately backpedal from defending the no doubt towering intellect of Boris, he literally said the guy was royalty, meaning he definitely would have had a good enough education to be able to speak English already. Hell, rather than a traffic warden he'd probably just be another rich fail son wasting obscene amounts of money all over London lol.
I suppose we should thank BoJo for not making him a con man. He is a Nigerian prince, after all.
well, according to boris' implications: something something political correctness gone mad.
To be fair I've heard tech support in America where the person could barely speak English.
11:48 even the metaphors are racially charged 😭😭😭
So there's this one channel I follow that did a dramatic read-through of this book.
No joke, the prose is so amateurish that I didn't realize it was bouncing between viewpoints at first, because the author voice doesn't change *at all* between characters.
K, right off the bat: identifying that a fictional character has an Oedipus complex, only to then have them just blurt out a description what an Oedipus complex is...
...is just Boris Johnson saying "I know what an Oedipus complex is!"
I guess he figured out how to make more obscure historical references over time, but this sounds like something I wrote as a teenager, in a very bad way.
Disgraced former Prime Minister on a bike!
Ive heard this book existed and was bad, but i had no idea just how many slurs are littered throughout it.
Its just like Ben Shapiro's book about pornography that has a whole chapter about rap music and thats filled whth unnecessary slurs
I'll have to give that one a go next. This is my life now.
im excited for the day
I feel like it's justified when talking about Rap music to use as many slurs for every group that's involved. How many funny slurs might one have for the likes of Eminem?
@@Unethical.FandubsGameslike, 2
@@Unethical.FandubsGamesidk i love rap, but i have never felt the need to use the slurs im not affected by to sing or talk about it
i believe the plural is "wheatabices"
This is like one of those Adam Sandler comedies you enjoy more ironically than anything else.
Trying to understand Boris's horrible book melted my brain. Thanks!
Well… this has convinced me that I could actually write something publishable
What I've gathered from this is Boris Johnson wants to tear David Cameron's hymen.
As an American adult who was baffled and devastated when Trump was elected here, it gave me a certain amount of Schadenfreude to watch the UK deal with Boris Johnson around the same time. At least we could suffer together. Misery loves company, right?
No, but in all seriousness, it was awful that even more countries had to fight against the inept decisions made by these leaders, especially regarding Covid containment. I'm sorry UK citizens were also suffering even more than Covid alone forced us to during this time.
I’m not an anarchist, but knowing that this book came out in 2003 and the man that wrote it was allowed to go on to be not only mayor of London but eventually the prime minister pushes me a little bit in that direction
thank you for your service (talking about this disaster of a book so I never risk buying or reading it)
Him saying “Liquid Bush” got a subscribe from me
I've never opened a video and immediately got attacked by a blast of so much aggresive britishness , Kudos for that, immediately hooked
Christ alive. You know what, if Boris could get this published, I think i can actually finish my own book and get it published. It cannot be worse then this.
I think it does reveal how Johnson actually thinks and it'd make the BNP blush.
I wonder if he featured the novel's title in an insensitive over-the-top joke somewhere in the book.
"he saved the man who accidently shot the president before jumping from the rafters and breaking his leg from getting shot twice"
except he didn't because the gun was jammed lol
also the magic wand joke was excellent
I was just about to say this - brilliantly done indeed.
If this is a reflection of bojos "world view 'albeit a bowderised version,then it explains his abject failure as prime minister,despite a vast majority,because he just couldn't be arsed
Ah, sardonic English youtuber with animal character, subscribled my good sir
The worst part is that the basic premise would've actually made for some decent political satire in the hands of a competent writer.
I feel so bad for you having to read that book over and over again
"SMEGMATIC" IS MY FAVOURITE NEW WORD
Thank you Boris, for your greatest contribution to our race. I will be the champion of your word.
I can only imagine the damage done to your brain cells while enduring this book, because I can feel the rot setting in on mine just with this exposure. Thank you for your sacrifice.
15:57 17 chapters in 100 pages!? Holy cow, you weren’t kidding about that chapter length! That is, like, fewer pages per chapter than a manga comic.
Thinking back, the last novel I read had, like, 4-5 chapters in the first 100 pages.
I knew quotidian, guess wrong on prurient but recognized it, and guessed right on saurian.
Prangmeister is an old german word used to describe someone acting out a punishment (usually ordered by someone)
“Prang” is also used a lot by British people to describe car collisions (usually minor ones), and “-meister” is used by British men of about Johnson’s age and social demographic to mean that someone is/does whatever you put in front of it very often or very well. If my dad called someone a “prangmeister” I’d assume he was calling them a very bad driver, ie someone who is always getting into minor collisions. Johnson is exactly the type of person to be using slang like this.
But Johnson also loves using words from other languages, so you could easily be right.
I mean, what did you expect from a book written by a politician.
House of Cards and its sequels were written by a Tory MP, which is bizarre to me because Francis Urquhart is probably the most clear example of why nobody should ever vote Conservative in all of fiction.
I don't know if the author was trying to tell the story of a charismatic villain corrupting the party, or if he'd just become utterly jaded and wanted to call out the other party members covertly, but Urquhart isn't even particularly remarkable in his awfulness when compared to actual Conservative MPs, he's just slightly more effective at manipulation.
Admittedly I'm only familiar with the BBC adaptations starring Ian Richardson, so they may have reframed things to better fit the social attitudes of people in the Thatcher era, but it's a genuinely well executed concept where an absolutely terrible person sacrifices the last vestiges of goodness within themselves to attain power at any cost, leaving a path of devastation behind them as they slide further and further into outright fascism.
The parallels to the rise of Thatcher and Reagan are very apparent, so it may be an intentional rebuttal to neoliberalism from someone who considers it a subversion of the party's values, or it could be a complete accident that the story he wanted to tell demonstrated everything wrong with conservatism.
I mean, Disraeli was a Tory and he was a pretty good writer apparently (then again, Thatcherites would probably call him far left too).
Why do people like you insist on giving political bad actors cover by pretending that their malfeasance is inherent to any and all political endeavours? Sheer self-serving laziness?
@@michaelccozens- literally
And that they're told by Right-wing media that "they're all the same" when that is very, very clearly not the case at all
Labour MP Jess Philips has written some VERY good non-fiction books that explain politics to laypeople.
Though I confess, my first thought was Edwina Currie and her 90's "bonkbusters", so Philips might be the exception that proves the rule.
_"Like a roller coaster that takes you slowly up hill just to dump you off at the gift shop."_
That's just good writing.
i really want to own this book just to open any random page and laugh my ass off on days i’m feeling like a failure, but i refuse to fund this guy in any way shape or form
Secondhand, fam😈
PDFs are your friend
5:12 how did this guy serve two terms… was no one more qualified?
Pulls out hitachi magic wand 🤦🏽
“You don’t understand my vision!!!”
thankful to youtube for recommending me this channel
Glad to see that British comedy is still alive.😅
I love how every story involving political reps always and without exception treats the Secret Service as bumbling incompetents who are only capable of reacting (poorly at that) to a attack rather than preventing it without anyone realizing (like they do frequently irl)
My innocent ass at 18:16 "??? But.. there's only one C-word? See you next Tuesday?"
As an aspiring author, I'm glad to know I can still make it.
😂😂😂 I had the same feeling
I actually got chuntered right away because my folks are always telling me to stop chuntering lmao
I once read an article written by Boris for Higher English. It was very Boris
'There's a pungent theme of chesse running through this book.' This truly is the most smegmatic novel ever written.
As a Brit to, I sincerely apologise for sharing the same land as Johnson.
boris has a way with words, but like, in a really bad way
This was an excellent analysis. I must issue a correction; I went to a hellish boys grammar school in the late 80s/early 90s and it did, in fact, have a water polo team.
Add this to the “terrible books written by terrible leaders” collection along with the writings of Mussolini, Saddam, and Mao
I hope other people can appreciate the fact that you called a correct and clear description of the Oedipus complex "One of the strangest family dinamics in fiction" like I did.
I wish I could forget Boris Johnson ever existed.
I think this counts as a surrealist work
outsider art, even
such a good vid hope ur content gets more attention
That makes two of us
@@OwlCriticismseeing this comment made me kinda sad but then i remembered that your newest video (through which i found your channel) is doing gang busters and that made me happy again. congrats man, you deserve it
How on Earth wasnt this book dug up to ridicule him during his campaigns to be Mayor of London, the leading face of Brexit and then Prime Minister?
Great review! Johnsons self serving racist drivel suitably excoriated...Comedy Gold!