Its also worth noting that many of the men who have made Diddy a meme will quickly try to utilize the SA of men and boys in an argument when women and girls are highlighted as victims. These men don't care about SA period.
PERIOD. I feel like these type of men only bring up serious men/boys issues whenever they want to silence women. Because now the horrible crimes that Diddy has did is now a big ol meme and the main people who are doing the meme is literally men. but atleast there is still a good chunk of people who is taking it serious…
It’s an easy mistake to make, however. With how emotionally charged the discussion around SA and r@p€ is, and around gender roles and dating in general, a lot of those men often feel like they’re being silenced by women who speak out about their own experiences, since a lot of these men feel like they inherently would not be taken as seriously if they had gone through the same thing (thanks to our internalized homophobia and the stereotype that “all men want sex no matter what”). So they feel the need to shut down women so that they can at least have their own voice heard. It’s a never ending fight.
Thank you, yes. They only talk about the double standard when women are done taking SA. I got into arguments with people who later on got surprised that I truly meant that I genuinely cared about male SA victims. It's bs.
@@KimWest-hv4tv interesting that you pointed out, because really Cassie and Terry crews suffer the same criticisms from insensitive people: they are both accused of putting up with abuse and shutting up for the sake of their careers and making money
@@KimWest-hv4tv people are always insinuating horrible things to gay people and “no diddy” is just another harmful way to disregard the male victims and make a joke out of them
@@KimWest-hv4tvusing the terms interchangeably links Diddy to homosexuality as a whole, SV and human trafficking in all, which serves to demonize the gay community even more, even if unintentional
exactly, they using this to support the notion of gay men being predatory & it frustrates me so much. i know many closeted blk men who are even more afraid to live their truth because of this whole situation & the way ppl are treating it. diddy is no mascot or representative of anything LGBTQ like leave us out of it
I realised that we're so desensitised to SA that everyone has an excuse for the culprit, the same reason women's rape is excused is the same reason men's rape is excused too because of the BS that you were raped because ur rapist "loved you" and "couldnt control it " and esp if queer people who were raped which is nastier since its just a joke to people, or if the abuse is same gendered its always homophobic jokes never condemnation of SA always to justify harming people instead of punishing the cuprit is so messed up
Thank you for having this conversation. It’s weirdly tone deaf IMO for so many to focus on who is or isn’t gay. Our communities have traditionally protected ex abusers and I can’t understand why this is not part of the talk around the Sean Combs revelations. I was assaulted as a boy and I watched my extended family, church and community protect my abusers …it was confusing and painful and still, in my 50’s, negatively impacts my intimate relationships. My relatives have referred to my older cousin, the abuser, as my “First Boyfriend” and have accused me of blaming him for my gayness. Makes no sense, especially since i was in the 3rd grade when it happened. I have cut off members of my extended family for inviting me to Holiday gatherings without first telling me my cousin would be there. They’ve accused me of “Destroying the family” just for talking about what happened to me.
I'm so sorry about that, that's already a shitty situation made worse by the way everyone reacted to it I hope things get better for you, know you're not alone 🙏🏼
Sorry about the abrupt ending. The video file that was meant to be at the end got damaged. It essentially stated the the Full audio episode is available for FREE on Spotify/Apple podcasts & the Full Video is available on Patreon 💖
Omg thank you so much for this. I’ve seen so much Diddy coverage that comes from a place of deep homophobia, and I think not enough people are having this conversation which is so so important. Like yeah, not only do male victims exist, but they are also not in competition with female victims, bc guess what- they’re all being hurt by the same patriarchal system
I think the world is desensitized to SA. It recently occurred to me that the underpinnings of this take is a lack of humanity for self. When folks are striving to meet cultural expectations that are not humanly possible from around the age of six or seven, when would space for their humanity have existed or been held? Insofar as folks learning to stealthily have their needs met through attention seeking behaviors in their toddler years. How could you realize your humanity? How could you realize your true self if you’ve been indoctrinated long before you could discover who you are…and by extension, how could you “see” others when you had your person “stolen” out the gate?
The increasing accessibility of porn has destroyed our empathy and our humanity. Take note that a lot of porn depicts r@p€ or dubious consent without explicitly saying that it is, almost as if the people who make porn are trying to normalize SA as “vanilla sex”.
Honestly I noticed this lot when there are media depictions of shows that have SA or talk about SA. People just kind of shrug and move on, as if they’re not even shocked or disgusted.
I did not know I could use prep. Some of the prep ads I've seen during drag race always have AMAB people. This makes also think about how Drag Race continue to only cast AMAB people (with one exception) despite the fans asking for that. It really added to narrative that prep wasn't for me. Thanks for saying that because I really didn't know.
THIS 🙌🏾! A Video talking about a serious “men’s rights” issues without any devaluation, diminishing or outright denial of women’s rights issues. Love to see it! ❤ More pls
Genuinely important convos on here. The way male bodies are perceived in this patriarchal society is ironically and unfortunately harmful to males when it comes to who can be victimized and who can't
It’s interesting to me because I felt like the only reason Diddy’s crimes were even taken seriously because there was men involved. Men who talked about him, men who make fun of him, etc. i feel like if this was exclusively concerning women he’d still be out here committing atrocities
But even then especially blk Americans were more concerned with Diddy being gay than being a predator. Ppl are making gay jokes & gay meme abt the Diddy situation. Many don't care abt the victims male or female just the fact that he was this rich alpha rumored to be gay.
This is really true. Everytime I open about things that happened to me with other men, people start treating me like a little girl even when I'm a grown man. I just think we were not though how to feel empathy to men without changing the way we perceive them. We somehow keep relating vulnerability with femininity.
Oh mannn, I am SO glad someone else sees it too! I have been so like.... off put/lowkey skeezed out by just the way ppl are titiling their videos on this sh*t!!! It feels like people cannot take anything serious these days, and not it a fun-edgy way.
Hey, Herby! As Aubery O'Day of Danity Kane said, people need to focus on the crimes, not the sexuality. I can't wait for this video to start and to see what you have to say ❤
I was a victim once. Now I’m just an exhausted aging queen. I think the disposability of men in general plays into this. They don’t say it but if you aren’t a success by the time you’re 40 you become socially irrelevant and the young male wolves move up to eat the old ones. If you never fixed your problems….getting shoved out of life is like icing on a sad little cake. One day you’re the kid everyone wants to help, the next day it’s “what, man? we’ve all got problems!”
the way u both spoke on this was sooo needed. as a black, gay male, thank you for your service. 🙏🏽🙌🏽 p.s. not too much on the sugar and grits cus that’s my shiiii 😭😭🤣💀
Thank you for talking about this!! i know im really early but i wanna say a few things.. maybe ill update this comment once the video actually premieres. First of all, i hate that diddy is now a big talking point just because he is accused of being into men, now everyone is running around saying “No diddy” like how they be saying “No homo” or “Zesty” or “sus”. the word gay is getting a new trademark every year i swear. Anyways , I hope the victims get justice, atleast people are taking this case abit more serious than they were years back when this case got paid dust. (Mainly because of diddy being extremely famous)
This is exactly how I feel. Like people not talking about the actual ab*se he doing doing, like did they all conveniently forget that Cassie video along with her allegations along with the r*pe ones???? But it’s so funny to say ‘no diddy’ cuz apparently a man being potentially bi is worse than being a literal ab*ser in every since of the word
Wait wait wait, he's not just a talking point because he's just "into men" what? It's the problem if his sexual assault and things against men and woman. He can be gay. Now the insensitive ppl talking about it's a problem is WILD, but at least for me, that is not the problem at all. It's the horrible things he has done to people and he has not taken any accountability. That man needs to go. Also, I'm saying this a black man who identifies as gay. I get that being hard to come out but in the world we are today and the power he had, it's just so weird the way he moved. I will never understand and be okay with it. You can be DL and also not be a despicable person.
@@jacobmccain8794I understand youre point. I never said that him being gay was a problem at all, of course Diddy can be DL im sorry 😅 I was just pointing out how him possibly sexually assaulting men was being used into cheap jokes such as “No diddy” or him having baby oil, and the meek mill situation. Yes, hes not just a talking point just because hes probably into men, but thats just a factor that everyone or just some people is more focused on rather than the actual case itself. I can’t believe myself for replying this late, forgive me!
Thank you for being so thoughtful with all of this. You're creating the space for conversation and ways forward in a world that's usually just arguing about something and going nowhere. This is amazing
LOVE this discussion, so eye opening and thought provoking and SUCH important work. I think men don't want to cover these victims because it points out the truth: it really can happen to ALL of us. And I think a lot of straight men really are terrified of that fact, they do not want to face it
Honestly all the people joking about the situation don't realize they are treating literal s3x trafficking as a youtube short's comment section (it doesn't matter if you don't mean any harm Its disrespectful to make a joke out of terrible situations ex. Smartschoolboy, Dahmer, P Diddy, Hitler. There's nothing funny about that and it's overdone when it shouldn't even be a thing to begin with if you have an ounce of human respect & empathy)
Unfortunately newer PrEP medications were not indicated for cis gender women on initial clinical trials. PrEP research was initially conducted with sero divergent couples that were cis gender. I conducted a survey at my clinic that found out of 100 young women aged 13-25, 97% did not know about PrEP, and they did not know they could take it.
I understand why you abbreviate it to SA, but I think our inability to say the words “sexual assault” bc of how it may affect video performance also hinders our ability to talk about it.
Because censors are part of the coverup game. Always have been. And they eventually hack their way through advertising into all things like this once great ad-service…I mean app. This kind of thing has been going on the entirety of our existence. It’s just gotten worse as the protectors increased.
The way the algorithm forces the censoring of certain words is definitely something that needs and should be addressed. I don’t have the answers but if you can’t explicitly say what you mean without resorting to tik tok slang like unalive etc then how can we give the topics the gravity they deserve?
The way conservatives dragged Justin Bieber into the discussion without using any euphemism and by the harshest words, I knew homophobes and those who find SA funny are gonna have a heyday this Diddy thing.
13:55 I agree with everything said with the exception that Lil Rod's lawsuit particularly had actual discrepancies and deceptions. I don't feel like his lawsuit and Cassie's lawsuit are of the same veracity at all. Rod's choice in council was questionable, and then it was discovered that a piece of submitted evidence was from an adult film. Rod tried to strong-arm Diddy into a settlement by weaponizing homophobia, knowing damn well people would blindly accept his accusations because they included accusations of homosexual behavior. He also outted several people who were not accused of harmful behavior. This really compromised the public reception of his case imo. Cassie's filing was unimpeachable. With that having been said, Diddy's violence against his male victims is absolutely being trivilazed.
Great talk, very informative, and I can kinda relate…I’m a straight guy in the south that has always said gay bars are the best fun you can possibly have on a night out on the town. First time I went to one was like 20years ago with a girlfriend at the time, and I was ignorant and worried that I might be too irresistible to the gays (which is toooooo laughable, looking back 😂) but I ended up having THE BEST NIGHT, saw my first drag show, and it was Halloween too! But fast forward to a few years ago, went to a gay bar in town with some friends and there was one asshole who kept getting real gropey despite me telling him what’s up…it’s a very unnerving and intense experience, and, while I’ve never been the type of guy to put my hands on any woman uninvited in that way, it gave me a newfound respect for what some women and queer people deal with on a regular basis. The shit ain’t right, people just trying to have a good time, and hopefully the culture is changing (hopefully)
Madonna was jealous! Edit: Thank you for reminding us how the Menendez brothers were made the butt of the joke. I HATE what Ryan Murphy did with their story! 😤
This is an excellent point!!! Diddy's preference was men. For some reason - the public only wants to focus on the women... wont say a word about the male victims.
I feel like this younger generation has a totally different meaning of Trade. I’m in my mid thirties and the definition of Trade has always been in the name itself which is why for many reasons it’s kinda toxic. It’s a relationship built on transactions, trading secrecy for sexual favors. Discreet, DL, Trade all mean the same thing to me because the whole point of it is for someone to maintain a socially str8 life while benefiting from a queer sex life secretly. This is why I have never understood the fascination with Trade or why a lot of gay men find it attractive. I understand a submissive kink but the idolization of these type of men doesn’t seem to serve our own self esteem.
I assumed the term evolved from "rough trade," which I think of as more like a sailor or biker, who might very easily beat you up instead of (or in addition to) getting busy. The risk is part of the thrill. Perhaps with some masochistic baggage from experiencing homophobia as a child… These days, a lot of gays just crave "authentic" masculinity. 😒 Plus everything you said.
I am so confused as to how grits became such a battleground. Both of my parents were from the South. My whole family is Southern. Grits in my family on both sides could be both sweet and savory. This argument is some new generation ish. This is tantamount to saying the only way to ingest grits is through cheese and shrimp like other ways of cooking them didn’t exist prior to this. Sugar goes in grits. Salt and pepper go in grits. Now can we move on to more important things as a people?
I’m commenting merely to put this video higher in the algorithms. There needs to more voices speaking on this w some principles and not just tabloid fodder, thank you all.
I’m a trans guy and try to stay up on this stuff. That’s only Descovy, as they never did any trials with trans men/transmasc folks or cis women. Truvada, and now also Apretude, the injectable form of PrEP, are approved for everyone. A nice bonus with Apretude is that it doesn’t impact your kidneys, whereas with Truvada that impact can be so intense they have to test you every 3 months.
The vast majority of pharmaceuticals have not been tested on anyone assigned female at birth. Do you need clarification if they are safe for cis-women and transmen?
@@ViolentOrchid I guess the same goes for black people taking heart medications. But they don't emphasize that lack of testing the way Gilead does in their PrEP ads…
Everyone needs to realize that we all reincarnate back to this earth a great many times over. During these reincarnations, we remain the same gender for a great many incarnations, but in order for us to learn as we need to, we change genders at a certain point. This transition is difficult for some, so for the first few incarnations as the other gender, they will be gay. This means every single soul on this planet, no matter how you think, has been gay. This is also why we have gays at all. You should never degrade any family member for the sexuality they choose to have. Because you are afraid, is no excuse for this type of behavior. Each person takes traits from each incarnation to be individual and different in personality. Nobody can be influenced to be gay. They have to have a propensity towards it first in their own thinking and not the thinking of others. You will be attracted to a certain sex or to both sexes on your own. Or you can attend a party at Diddy's and be groomed to be gay or Bi:)
@@marklouis1890Are grits like made of corn? Not an American but I think it might be similar to the mieliepap that we have in South Africa? I’ve always been curious about it. ^^
what if when you die you get lured in with the smell of your favorite food 🤤🤤 i just smelled something delicious like bbq but spicier like you could smell the spice funny thing is i lost my sense of smell 😮😂🤷♀️ idk what to do with this info but i couldn't breath for a second 🤷♀️ i hope everyone is ok 😂🎉
i love love love this channel i love black ppl i love queer folx i love semi ghetto antics keeps me engaged i love that im on this corner of the internet with herby in it i live babe thank u for the work ur doing & being so informative king queen doll them her/him u eat down :3 🫶🏾
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Its also worth noting that many of the men who have made Diddy a meme will quickly try to utilize the SA of men and boys in an argument when women and girls are highlighted as victims. These men don't care about SA period.
PERIOD. I feel like these type of men only bring up serious men/boys issues whenever they want to silence women. Because now the horrible crimes that Diddy has did is now a big ol meme and the main people who are doing the meme is literally men. but atleast there is still a good chunk of people who is taking it serious…
Through society, men have adopted the belief where it is not possible for them to have been rap3d
It’s an easy mistake to make, however. With how emotionally charged the discussion around SA and r@p€ is, and around gender roles and dating in general, a lot of those men often feel like they’re being silenced by women who speak out about their own experiences, since a lot of these men feel like they inherently would not be taken as seriously if they had gone through the same thing (thanks to our internalized homophobia and the stereotype that “all men want sex no matter what”). So they feel the need to shut down women so that they can at least have their own voice heard. It’s a never ending fight.
And y’all only bring this up when we’re talking about male victims of SA
Thank you, yes. They only talk about the double standard when women are done taking SA.
I got into arguments with people who later on got surprised that I truly meant that I genuinely cared about male SA victims.
It's bs.
Is there a double standard with male SA victims? Two words: Terry Crews.
Lord!!! Wake it up.
Yep, and let's not forget poor Brendan Fraiser who was essentially blacklisted for not allowing it.
YES. They made fun of that man
i don't really get your point when people are still making fun of Cassi.. shes a woman.
@@KimWest-hv4tv interesting that you pointed out, because really Cassie and Terry crews suffer the same criticisms from insensitive people: they are both accused of putting up with abuse and shutting up for the sake of their careers and making money
I’m so glad you spoke on this I don’t like when people say “no homo” I especially hate the “no diddy” it’s just foul
what's wrong with it ??
@@KimWest-hv4tv people are always insinuating horrible things to gay people and “no diddy” is just another harmful way to disregard the male victims and make a joke out of them
@@KimWest-hv4tvIt's at its core homophobic.
@@KimWest-hv4tvit makes his crime about sexuality and not Abuse!
@@KimWest-hv4tvusing the terms interchangeably links Diddy to homosexuality as a whole, SV and human trafficking in all, which serves to demonize the gay community even more, even if unintentional
people are using this to lash out their transphobia and homophobia.
Literally. All the abuse he’s caused, is just used to mask homophobia and transphobia with “no Diddy”.
exactly, they using this to support the notion of gay men being predatory & it frustrates me so much. i know many closeted blk men who are even more afraid to live their truth because of this whole situation & the way ppl are treating it. diddy is no mascot or representative of anything LGBTQ like leave us out of it
That's true, as a male victim of s.a
Facts I was thinking about this
0:23 Men victims of other men get overlooked. Men victims of women get told they aren't victims at all to begin with.
I realised that we're so desensitised to SA that everyone has an excuse for the culprit, the same reason women's rape is excused is the same reason men's rape is excused too because of the BS that you were raped because ur rapist "loved you" and "couldnt control it " and esp if queer people who were raped which is nastier since its just a joke to people, or if the abuse is same gendered its always homophobic jokes never condemnation of SA always to justify harming people instead of punishing the cuprit is so messed up
@@espeon871or people claim childhood SA makes people gay and that survivors become perpetrators
Thank you for having this conversation. It’s weirdly tone deaf IMO for so many to focus on who is or isn’t gay. Our communities have traditionally protected ex abusers and I can’t understand why this is not part of the talk around the Sean Combs revelations. I was assaulted as a boy and I watched my extended family, church and community protect my abusers …it was confusing and painful and still, in my 50’s, negatively impacts my intimate relationships. My relatives have referred to my older cousin, the abuser, as my “First Boyfriend” and have accused me of blaming him for my gayness. Makes no sense, especially since i was in the 3rd grade when it happened. I have cut off members of my extended family for inviting me to Holiday gatherings without first telling me my cousin would be there. They’ve accused me of “Destroying the family” just for talking about what happened to me.
I'm so sorry about that, that's already a shitty situation made worse by the way everyone reacted to it
I hope things get better for you, know you're not alone 🙏🏼
@@thirdwheel9938 thank you! I am living well. Very happy that more people are starting to have honest discussions on this topic!
Sorry about the abrupt ending. The video file that was meant to be at the end got damaged. It essentially stated the the Full audio episode is available for FREE on Spotify/Apple podcasts & the Full Video is available on Patreon 💖
Because of that I gotta get the patreon neowww
ahh okay, I was about to comment & ask what happened 😭
great video as always herby :)
i kinda loved it 😂 “savannah slow down” the end
That’s understandable
Omg thank you so much for this. I’ve seen so much Diddy coverage that comes from a place of deep homophobia, and I think not enough people are having this conversation which is so so important. Like yeah, not only do male victims exist, but they are also not in competition with female victims, bc guess what- they’re all being hurt by the same patriarchal system
the last sentence yes!!
Yes 👏🏾
I think the world is desensitized to SA. It recently occurred to me that the underpinnings of this take is a lack of humanity for self. When folks are striving to meet cultural expectations that are not humanly possible from around the age of six or seven, when would space for their humanity have existed or been held? Insofar as folks learning to stealthily have their needs met through attention seeking behaviors in their toddler years. How could you realize your humanity? How could you realize your true self if you’ve been indoctrinated long before you could discover who you are…and by extension, how could you “see” others when you had your person “stolen” out the gate?
had to screenshot your comment because this is beautifully said.
The increasing accessibility of porn has destroyed our empathy and our humanity. Take note that a lot of porn depicts r@p€ or dubious consent without explicitly saying that it is, almost as if the people who make porn are trying to normalize SA as “vanilla sex”.
Honestly I noticed this lot when there are media depictions of shows that have SA or talk about SA. People just kind of shrug and move on, as if they’re not even shocked or disgusted.
I did not know I could use prep. Some of the prep ads I've seen during drag race always have AMAB people. This makes also think about how Drag Race continue to only cast AMAB people (with one exception) despite the fans asking for that. It really added to narrative that prep wasn't for me. Thanks for saying that because I really didn't know.
@@nianolan107 yes we can do both Truvada and Apretude!!
THIS 🙌🏾! A Video talking about a serious “men’s rights” issues without any devaluation, diminishing or outright denial of women’s rights issues. Love to see it! ❤ More pls
Genuinely important convos on here.
The way male bodies are perceived in this patriarchal society is ironically and unfortunately harmful to males when it comes to who can be victimized and who can't
It’s interesting to me because I felt like the only reason Diddy’s crimes were even taken seriously because there was men involved. Men who talked about him, men who make fun of him, etc. i feel like if this was exclusively concerning women he’d still be out here committing atrocities
Yup
But even then especially blk Americans were more concerned with Diddy being gay than being a predator. Ppl are making gay jokes & gay meme abt the Diddy situation. Many don't care abt the victims male or female just the fact that he was this rich alpha rumored to be gay.
Not really. Weinstein. Epstein. Etc.
@@IamBrixTM The argument still stands that the attention on their crimes would be different if those men predominantly preyed on _black_ women.
That was also my perspective
This is really true. Everytime I open about things that happened to me with other men, people start treating me like a little girl even when I'm a grown man. I just think we were not though how to feel empathy to men without changing the way we perceive them. We somehow keep relating vulnerability with femininity.
Couldn't have said it better myself, you can't be perceived as both masculine and a victim in this society
Oh mannn, I am SO glad someone else sees it too! I have been so like.... off put/lowkey skeezed out by just the way ppl are titiling their videos on this sh*t!!! It feels like people cannot take anything serious these days, and not it a fun-edgy way.
Hey, Herby!
As Aubery O'Day of Danity Kane said, people need to focus on the crimes, not the sexuality.
I can't wait for this video to start and to see what you have to say ❤
I was a victim once. Now I’m just an exhausted aging queen. I think the disposability of men in general plays into this. They don’t say it but if you aren’t a success by the time you’re 40 you become socially irrelevant and the young male wolves move up to eat the old ones. If you never fixed your problems….getting shoved out of life is like icing on a sad little cake. One day you’re the kid everyone wants to help, the next day it’s “what, man? we’ve all got problems!”
the way u both spoke on this was sooo needed. as a black, gay male, thank you for your service. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
p.s. not too much on the sugar and grits cus that’s my shiiii 😭😭🤣💀
29:53 "whose activity is bisexual but their identity is not" that's a word fr
Thank you for talking about this!! i know im really early but i wanna say a few things.. maybe ill update this comment once the video actually premieres. First of all, i hate that diddy is now a big talking point just because he is accused of being into men, now everyone is running around saying “No diddy” like how they be saying “No homo” or “Zesty” or “sus”. the word gay is getting a new trademark every year i swear. Anyways , I hope the victims get justice, atleast people are taking this case abit more serious than they were years back when this case got paid dust. (Mainly because of diddy being extremely famous)
This is exactly how I feel. Like people not talking about the actual ab*se he doing doing, like did they all conveniently forget that Cassie video along with her allegations along with the r*pe ones???? But it’s so funny to say ‘no diddy’ cuz apparently a man being potentially bi is worse than being a literal ab*ser in every since of the word
Wait wait wait, he's not just a talking point because he's just "into men" what? It's the problem if his sexual assault and things against men and woman. He can be gay. Now the insensitive ppl talking about it's a problem is WILD, but at least for me, that is not the problem at all. It's the horrible things he has done to people and he has not taken any accountability. That man needs to go.
Also, I'm saying this a black man who identifies as gay. I get that being hard to come out but in the world we are today and the power he had, it's just so weird the way he moved. I will never understand and be okay with it. You can be DL and also not be a despicable person.
@@jacobmccain8794Yeah, that isn't the problem, it's just that people are seemingly focusing on him being gay over being the Diddler.
@@jacobmccain8794I understand youre point. I never said that him being gay was a problem at all, of course Diddy can be DL im sorry 😅 I was just pointing out how him possibly sexually assaulting men was being used into cheap jokes such as “No diddy” or him having baby oil, and the meek mill situation. Yes, hes not just a talking point just because hes probably into men, but thats just a factor that everyone or just some people is more focused on rather than the actual case itself. I can’t believe myself for replying this late, forgive me!
Being sa'ed is to be "weak, easy to take advantage of, something women are, but men can not"
Yes to the Kendrick song. Yea. Yea. Yes.
this conversation was so real, thank u for speaking on this
Thank you for being so thoughtful with all of this. You're creating the space for conversation and ways forward in a world that's usually just arguing about something and going nowhere. This is amazing
Y'all do important work on this planet; these conversations are touching important subjects and y'all are actually discussing about it. Love 💖
LOVE this discussion, so eye opening and thought provoking and SUCH important work. I think men don't want to cover these victims because it points out the truth: it really can happen to ALL of us. And I think a lot of straight men really are terrified of that fact, they do not want to face it
Honestly all the people joking about the situation don't realize they are treating literal s3x trafficking as a youtube short's comment section (it doesn't matter if you don't mean any harm Its disrespectful to make a joke out of terrible situations ex. Smartschoolboy, Dahmer, P Diddy, Hitler. There's nothing funny about that and it's overdone when it shouldn't even be a thing to begin with if you have an ounce of human respect & empathy)
Unfortunately newer PrEP medications were not indicated for cis gender women on initial clinical trials. PrEP research was initially conducted with sero divergent couples that were cis gender. I conducted a survey at my clinic that found out of 100 young women aged 13-25, 97% did not know about PrEP, and they did not know they could take it.
I understand why you abbreviate it to SA, but I think our inability to say the words “sexual assault” bc of how it may affect video performance also hinders our ability to talk about it.
☝️😡
Because censors are part of the coverup game. Always have been. And they eventually hack their way through advertising into all things like this once great ad-service…I mean app. This kind of thing has been going on the entirety of our existence. It’s just gotten worse as the protectors increased.
The way the algorithm forces the censoring of certain words is definitely something that needs and should be addressed. I don’t have the answers but if you can’t explicitly say what you mean without resorting to tik tok slang like unalive etc then how can we give the topics the gravity they deserve?
The way conservatives dragged Justin Bieber into the discussion without using any euphemism and by the harshest words, I knew homophobes and those who find SA funny are gonna have a heyday this Diddy thing.
Yall dope.
thank you for this! might be the best and most direct conversation I’ve heard on this topic. thank you both! appreciate you both!
13:55 I agree with everything said with the exception that Lil Rod's lawsuit particularly had actual discrepancies and deceptions. I don't feel like his lawsuit and Cassie's lawsuit are of the same veracity at all. Rod's choice in council was questionable, and then it was discovered that a piece of submitted evidence was from an adult film. Rod tried to strong-arm Diddy into a settlement by weaponizing homophobia, knowing damn well people would blindly accept his accusations because they included accusations of homosexual behavior. He also outted several people who were not accused of harmful behavior. This really compromised the public reception of his case imo. Cassie's filing was unimpeachable. With that having been said, Diddy's violence against his male victims is absolutely being trivilazed.
What an amazing video!!!! Such a great convo 👏🏾👏🏾💓💓
Yes money doesn’t change people, it can just amplify who they really are
me too includes men too!
Great talk, very informative, and I can kinda relate…I’m a straight guy in the south that has always said gay bars are the best fun you can possibly have on a night out on the town. First time I went to one was like 20years ago with a girlfriend at the time, and I was ignorant and worried that I might be too irresistible to the gays (which is toooooo laughable, looking back 😂) but I ended up having THE BEST NIGHT, saw my first drag show, and it was Halloween too!
But fast forward to a few years ago, went to a gay bar in town with some friends and there was one asshole who kept getting real gropey despite me telling him what’s up…it’s a very unnerving and intense experience, and, while I’ve never been the type of guy to put my hands on any woman uninvited in that way, it gave me a newfound respect for what some women and queer people deal with on a regular basis. The shit ain’t right, people just trying to have a good time, and hopefully the culture is changing (hopefully)
So appreciate both your commentary
i'm high af ngl
Such an important conversation to have!!! Thank you both for having so much sense and using this platform for good!!!
BBC, that's the British Broadcasting Corporation, for folx who are confused...
#Helping.
Thanks, grandma!
@@izzaanimates9041 You're welcome deary. Eat your vegetables. Wear a scarf. :)
I’m googling and I can NOT find what it means!
@@268anitaBig Black Cookies
Plzzzz “I define the trade as ME”😂
Crazy way to end this
Madonna was jealous!
Edit: Thank you for reminding us how the Menendez brothers were made the butt of the joke. I HATE what Ryan Murphy did with their story!
😤
This is an excellent point!!! Diddy's preference was men. For some reason - the public only wants to focus on the women... wont say a word about the male victims.
Ryan Murphy is SICK
that is NOT how you portray a story of abuse. He’s done it again. They need to stop giving him production money and attention.
Thank you for talking about this!
this was so awesome. thank you for extending your platform.
16:00 yas!!! Herby so damn eloquent❤
I feel like this younger generation has a totally different meaning of Trade. I’m in my mid thirties and the definition of Trade has always been in the name itself which is why for many reasons it’s kinda toxic.
It’s a relationship built on transactions, trading secrecy for sexual favors.
Discreet, DL, Trade all mean the same thing to me because the whole point of it is for someone to maintain a socially str8 life while benefiting from a queer sex life secretly.
This is why I have never understood the fascination with Trade or why a lot of gay men find it attractive. I understand a submissive kink but the idolization of these type of men doesn’t seem to serve our own self esteem.
I assumed the term evolved from "rough trade," which I think of as more like a sailor or biker, who might very easily beat you up instead of (or in addition to) getting busy. The risk is part of the thrill. Perhaps with some masochistic baggage from experiencing homophobia as a child…
These days, a lot of gays just crave "authentic" masculinity. 😒 Plus everything you said.
I am so confused as to how grits became such a battleground. Both of my parents were from the South. My whole family is Southern. Grits in my family on both sides could be both sweet and savory. This argument is some new generation ish. This is tantamount to saying the only way to ingest grits is through cheese and shrimp like other ways of cooking them didn’t exist prior to this. Sugar goes in grits. Salt and pepper go in grits. Now can we move on to more important things as a people?
I’d also like to add… there is a such thing as savory oatmeal. So the oatmeal argument for saying grits should only be savory is invalid.
@@lboogiI had savory oatmeal and it changed my life 😩🤍
@@alishaendre616 I haven’t tried it yet but I’ve saved a few recipes!
I didn't grow up with Cheese grits so I can't endorse them. However, baked oatmeal is something your not ready for.
@@angellover02171 grits are great! Feel free to experiment and decide for yourself as to if you like them sweet, savory, or both lol
clockin empressive earned a like
👀
2 mins into the pod n i already love yall!
I’m commenting merely to put this video higher in the algorithms. There needs to more voices speaking on this w some principles and not just tabloid fodder, thank you all.
I like grits both ways period depending on my mood ..idc idc idc
They can say what they wanna but imma still eat my sweet grits
"Oh, so you doing the bending" guys 🤷🏼♀️
Thumbnail for the video is sendinggggg me chile 💀 great conversation as always! ❤
Sorry just for clarification. I thought PREP wasn't tested and approved for transmen/ciswoman? I've felt like I've seen that many times before.
Common misconception, but no, certain brands of PREP *are* approved for AFAB people. That wasn’t always the case, so old info sticks around.
I’m a trans guy and try to stay up on this stuff. That’s only Descovy, as they never did any trials with trans men/transmasc folks or cis women. Truvada, and now also Apretude, the injectable form of PrEP, are approved for everyone. A nice bonus with Apretude is that it doesn’t impact your kidneys, whereas with Truvada that impact can be so intense they have to test you every 3 months.
The vast majority of pharmaceuticals have not been tested on anyone assigned female at birth. Do you need clarification if they are safe for cis-women and transmen?
@@ViolentOrchid I guess the same goes for black people taking heart medications. But they don't emphasize that lack of testing the way Gilead does in their PrEP ads…
man whattt way to leave us on a cliff hanger babess 😭
Heyyyyy herby !!!
Everyone needs to realize that we all reincarnate back to this earth a great many times over. During these reincarnations, we remain the same gender for a great many incarnations, but in order for us to learn as we need to, we change genders at a certain point. This transition is difficult for some, so for the first few incarnations as the other gender, they will be gay.
This means every single soul on this planet, no matter how you think, has been gay.
This is also why we have gays at all. You should never degrade any family member for the sexuality they choose to have. Because you are afraid, is no excuse for this type of behavior.
Each person takes traits from each incarnation to be individual and different in personality.
Nobody can be influenced to be gay. They have to have a propensity towards it first in their own thinking and not the thinking of others. You will be attracted to a certain sex or to both sexes on your own. Or you can attend a party at Diddy's and be groomed to be gay or Bi:)
The ending SENT MEEEEEEE 😂
I love you Herby!
I'm with you on sugar grits haha, reminds me of when I tried grits with vanilla oat milk haha
How do I find your Podcast on Spotify, please?
19:50 both 'queer' and 'inferior' are synonyms in a homophobes eyes
He said “ is the trade in the room with us” 😂😂😂🤣😂😂
what's DL ?? (I'm french sorry...)
Down low (as in a person who engaging in queer activity secretly)
@@herbyxrevolusthanks for the answer !!
The way the video ended 🤣🤣🤣
7:02 CLOCK THAT MUH FUH ALL DAY
Really liked Noah's shirt
This was so good but the video cuts off??
I'm on the floor.
No sugar in grits!
I take my grits with a bit of sugar
@@marklouis1890 get out 🩷
@@marklouis1890Are grits like made of corn? Not an American but I think it might be similar to the mieliepap that we have in South Africa? I’ve always been curious about it. ^^
why we pitting two baddies against each other is the question
@@lisreads4872 Yes, grits are 🌽 corn.
Definitely NOT cancelling Janet for being 100% accurate rn-fake elections be damned..😹
What happened at the end, gurl? 🤣
5ppl waiting why 😂😂😂
Bro where were you on the last Olay and Friends?
Okkk Herby trade!!!
Boost
Can’t watch now but for the algo ❤
what if when you die you get lured in with the smell of your favorite food 🤤🤤 i just smelled something delicious like bbq but spicier like you could smell the spice funny thing is i lost my sense of smell 😮😂🤷♀️ idk what to do with this info but i couldn't breath for a second 🤷♀️ i hope everyone is ok 😂🎉
Did the high wear off yet? 🙄
It is a CHOP!... for sugar and grits. Cheese, shrimps, sugar, one of these things CLEARLY does not belong.
❤
imma watch this video tho ngl didn't remember what a premier was for a sec 😢😂
gurl
i love love love this channel i love black ppl i love queer folx i love semi ghetto antics keeps me engaged i love that im on this corner of the internet with herby in it i live babe thank u for the work ur doing & being so informative king queen doll them her/him u eat down :3 🫶🏾
Omg god your so lucky Doechi isn't even coming to my city. I hope you enjoy yourself 🩷