Do Not Agree to Something You Don’t Agree With

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  • Опубликовано: 28 апр 2024
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Комментарии • 106

  • @user-oh6ev7mj5q
    @user-oh6ev7mj5q Месяц назад +167

    "Conflict avoided is conflict delayed and magnified" I should write this in stone myself

  • @nschlaak
    @nschlaak Месяц назад +195

    "Conflict avoided is conflict delayed & magnified." I agree wholeheartedly and I too don't like engaging in confrontational conflict. Now I understand that appeasing one household individual to avoid the powder keg explosions only enhanced the thermonuclear effect.

    • @captaindanger13
      @captaindanger13 Месяц назад +3

      I have a friend who keeps avoiding conflict, but his coping mechanism whenever he feels uncomfortable is sarcasm which just makes the conflict worse and then we never get to resolve the issues we have and there were 3 times I almost completely stopped being friends with him because our problems kept stacking until finally the explosion happened. These happened much earlier in our friendship. Only reason I came back and became friends with him again each time was because our other friends in the group tried to bring me back and help us resolve our issues. The issues never really got *fully* resolved since he very clearly hasn't learned from his mistakes, but the situations that bring out those mistakes happen less often now probably because us in the group are more willing to bring his attention to his actions before things get out of hand now that we've been friends for much longer.

    • @alenaadamkova7617
      @alenaadamkova7617 Месяц назад

      I think in every habit Ed Mylett "compound pounding" effect is the best solution...
      in sport, in business, in relationships.
      1. If you use compound pounding in sport, (exercissing for an hour) you will see no results in 5 days,
      but you will see big results in 100 days.
      2. If you will say a good morning to people, you will see no effect in 5 days,
      but you will see a great difference in 100 days.
      3. If you will practice the compassion for your partner and make some good deed,
      you will see no or small difference in 5 days,
      but you will see a great difference in 50 or 100 days,
      you will see how much you mean to them.
      Therefore you can not tell if your values are working after one week, because you see the effect after 100 or 140 days.
      Maybe each couple should practice this technique, If I will make something small to make my partner happy, for a little moment, they will remmber theese little moments.
      and good mood increases the immunity of the body by 50 percent in 4 days.
      So their kids will learn the same technique.
      They will learn that if they will read a book 10 minutes a day, it has great impact on brain.
      Next time it may be 20 minutes a day.
      But if you stop doing the habit now... after week it makes no difference
      after 140 days the results change for worse, you loose muscless or you loose some skill or motivation etc.
      Good deed may be also making a pizza or small things.
      People actually enjoy small things much more than big gestures.
      because it´s about living in the moment.

    • @oscardelotzthorpe6585
      @oscardelotzthorpe6585 Месяц назад

      Yap

  • @Milestonemonger
    @Milestonemonger Месяц назад +91

    Before I discovered Jordan Peterson, my life was pure hell. I didn't have the courage to say, "NO." I was everyone's doormat, therapist, and banker. I felt bad refusing a favor to anyone. I heard JBP say, "You SHOULD be a monster because without teeth, you are useless. "... (I'm paraphrasing) But that line put my life on a completely different trajectory. 5 years later, I am the strongest and happiest I've ever been.
    I am forever grateful for Jordan Peterson ❤🙏

    • @yaditube1976
      @yaditube1976 Месяц назад +3

      "You SHOULD be a monster because without teeth, you are useless. go go go!!! same here

  • @jedo268
    @jedo268 Месяц назад +55

    More clarity in 9 minutes and 30 seconds then most relationships get in years of conflict.

  • @tinalaursen8993
    @tinalaursen8993 Месяц назад +25

    I have come to realize that my avoidance of conflict has been the number one cause for so many of the problems in my life. 😢😔

    • @user-ec3rm9wr1n
      @user-ec3rm9wr1n Месяц назад

      What conflicts with strangers or people using their mental health issues as an excuse.... Fuck it you can't fight weak men

  • @janelester6477
    @janelester6477 Месяц назад +26

    what an amazing family to be able to talk things through in such a positive way

  • @susieqmartin2746
    @susieqmartin2746 Месяц назад +56

    Been married 52 years learned these strategies also along the way! One thing I found is if when angry or upset with your partner if you disregard you feeling at the time then do something for that partner that is loving and that they would appreciate. It changes you inside allows you to cool down and rethink and renegotiate.

  • @WeartheGoodSocks
    @WeartheGoodSocks Месяц назад +20

    Wow this message was great timing for me. I was on the verge of betraying myself and going along with something I don't agree with even though I did clearly voice my wishes. No more wasting time on this shit anymore. God bless!

  • @user-oh6ev7mj5q
    @user-oh6ev7mj5q Месяц назад +30

    When I confront someone it bothers me afterwards....when I avoid confrontation to please it bothers me afterwards. Its the same when I make almost any decision.

    • @likesc00b59
      @likesc00b59 Месяц назад

      To please?

    • @user-ec3rm9wr1n
      @user-ec3rm9wr1n Месяц назад

      You can't push people off cliffs just to make you live it's insane.... hurting humans lives for what

    • @user-oh6ev7mj5q
      @user-oh6ev7mj5q Месяц назад

      @@user-ec3rm9wr1n I dont understand you sentence

    • @user-ec3rm9wr1n
      @user-ec3rm9wr1n Месяц назад

      @@user-oh6ev7mj5q move on stop being sick person seek help talk to someone do something forget about me

  • @dmtaboo_truth7052
    @dmtaboo_truth7052 Месяц назад +48

    Covid showed us the pitfalls of "go along to get along".

  • @bill_lumbergh
    @bill_lumbergh Месяц назад +60

    My family has these discussions in court

    • @hansel7888
      @hansel7888 Месяц назад +3

      😂right

    • @maMthunzi
      @maMthunzi Месяц назад

      My goodness

    • @krystlejane6210
      @krystlejane6210 Месяц назад +4

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 I literally laughed out loud. Sorry, but that was really funny lol

    • @user-sh5zd2ij2d
      @user-sh5zd2ij2d Месяц назад

      😂

    • @sandralobato7725
      @sandralobato7725 Месяц назад +1

      I love your dry humour! I feel for you though. I hope you're not taking it personally. If so, and it's messing you up: check out: the four promises. Life changing read. If you put it into action that is...
      ...or the Bible.
      But you get through 'the four promises' quicker...

  • @CSUnger
    @CSUnger Месяц назад +14

    [1] My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor,
    have given your pledge for a stranger;
    [2] if you are snared in the utterance of your lips,
    caught in the words of your mouth;
    [3] then do this, my son, and save yourself,
    for you have come into your neighbor's power:
    go, hasten, and importune your neighbor.
    [4] Give your eyes no sleep
    and your eyelids no slumber;
    [5] save yourself like a gazelle from the hunter,
    like a bird from the hand of the fowler.
    Prov. 6: 1-5

  • @chipcook5346
    @chipcook5346 Месяц назад +15

    When you look at your life, and you score in the 90s in Agreeableness every time you test over the years, you can't help but say "There you go. That explains a thing or two."

  • @cameronidk2
    @cameronidk2 Месяц назад +15

    As a small business owner I learned to never ask an employee to do things they don't get like or even want to do.. sounds wierd but it will cost you way more If you do

  • @rarecreations1725
    @rarecreations1725 Месяц назад +9

    Just great how families should talk to each other x

  • @cristinalacoste2062
    @cristinalacoste2062 Месяц назад +11

    This is me. Conflict avoidant. Definitely something I wish I had known about myself sooner.

  • @Razear
    @Razear Месяц назад +7

    A lot of the time, this comes from a good place of not wanting to potentially agitate your S/O. If the issue is trivial enough where acquiescing to their demands won't cause any long-term grief, it's understandable. But doing so by violating your core principles will likely cause more harm than good in the long run.

  • @wendyshannon6949
    @wendyshannon6949 Месяц назад +4

    I wish there were more men in the world like Jordan Peterson....grown up, responsible and courageous

  • @Sarah-STB9
    @Sarah-STB9 Месяц назад +2

    “I’m gonna keep reading and you comment if you want to about what this means. Dad.. ” Dr. Peterson already heard enough from that one sentence lol
    love having and hearing conversations where there’s already a deeper level of understanding between people. Getting straight to the point & then explore the depths of meaning

  • @cordatusscire344
    @cordatusscire344 Месяц назад +6

    20 Years too late for me. The cliche of "if I only knew then what I know now".. I can at best hope I serve as an example of what to avoid for others. I've lost much, though it is never lost on me that plenty others have lost far, far more.

  • @TT-tx5ng
    @TT-tx5ng Месяц назад +3

    Don't agree to something you don't agree with. My agreeable score is probably in the 90s, too. I finally realized to say, "Let me think about it". But it's hard to break old habits. I still entrap myself into agreeing or even suggesting something that I don't agree with or didn't think it thru.

  • @muqaddasraza999
    @muqaddasraza999 Месяц назад +2

    Thats awesome for me that I got wonderful people to hear .❤❤

  • @nischalthapa179
    @nischalthapa179 Месяц назад +1

    This was very informational and again so thankful for these short videos.

  • @adilsoncolombo8681
    @adilsoncolombo8681 Месяц назад +1

    Amazing coversation! Tks

  • @user-uq6ny8yp7u
    @user-uq6ny8yp7u Месяц назад +1

    Great and insightful interview from all three involved within this podcast! Thanks.

  • @asyastefanova1602
    @asyastefanova1602 28 дней назад

    You are a wonderful family! Thank you!

  • @skybluegarza2353
    @skybluegarza2353 23 дня назад

    I attended his conference in Los Angeles yesterday and it was really good, the audience was very respectful, and the security personnel did their job on not allowing people to film or take photos during the conference, it was a well-organized event, I cannot wait to see him again next year in his 2025 tour.

  • @avx4281
    @avx4281 Месяц назад +1

    Very insightful, realistic way of family problems solving. Thank u.

  • @joolz5747
    @joolz5747 Месяц назад +3

    I recommend that everybody goes through the 12 steps of recovery, and that answers all your questions!

  • @GetoffMydiqk
    @GetoffMydiqk Месяц назад +7

    I really like your family. I'm sorry for judging you I took my frustration out on the wrong person I hope you forgive me. Godbless you and your family.

  • @ZeraujAS
    @ZeraujAS Месяц назад +1

    Thank you Dr. Peterson.

  • @MrDziaduszko1981
    @MrDziaduszko1981 Месяц назад

    Thank You 🙏❤️

  • @shawnhowe7311
    @shawnhowe7311 Месяц назад +1

    ThankYouAll

  • @JohnSmith-ks5xw
    @JohnSmith-ks5xw Месяц назад +4

    I want to know if Jordan Peterson is serious and heavy all the time or just when he's in the public eye. I hope he is not super serious and heavy all the time in his private life. I think he's brilliant and does so much for mankind. I would like to see him happy and relaxed more.

  • @bakekay21
    @bakekay21 Месяц назад +1

    Yes, thought one problem with this idea (the video title) is that one person in particular I know, invalidates all my feelings & experiences with this mindset.

  • @believe722
    @believe722 Месяц назад

    What a great trio my

  • @rollingdowntheblvd
    @rollingdowntheblvd Месяц назад +1

    While I appreciate JP's insight for the most part, I don't necessarily agree with the pure behavioral aspect of "What do you want me to say to satisfy you right now?" I don't want a robot to regurgitate words that will pacify me in the moment, despite being well-meaning it is important to find genuine connection and understanding

  • @ronankriek8468
    @ronankriek8468 Месяц назад

    spit tin facts

  • @ToroMoto
    @ToroMoto Месяц назад +2

    Link to this agreeableness test?

  • @user-oc7ph2qs2e
    @user-oc7ph2qs2e Месяц назад +1

    You have a beautiful family 💝💝💝
    I miss mine💔💔💔

  • @clifcody
    @clifcody Месяц назад

    Such a game changer

  • @timb350
    @timb350 Месяц назад

    What are the tests that they are being scored on? Are they available somewhere online?

  • @MrRVJunior
    @MrRVJunior Месяц назад +1

    All about communication. We have to learn to there be time we will agree and time to disagree. But I feel there should not be compromise to agree to.
    The daughter looks smart & beautiful 😉
    Too bad I am I live in the USA, New Jersey

  • @Destinyzx
    @Destinyzx Месяц назад +1

    Can anyone point me to the full video? Much appreciated.

  • @kimberlygreidanus5639
    @kimberlygreidanus5639 13 дней назад

    you have to mean that, and IF you had any sense you would!!!! Something thats missing a lot through relationships/ in the world in general anymore is SENSE!!

  • @areuaware6842
    @areuaware6842 Месяц назад +1

    Like taxes for instance...

  • @dovesrun
    @dovesrun 28 дней назад

    Every woman needs a husband like Jordan.

  • @AnathemaMysticalcel
    @AnathemaMysticalcel Месяц назад +1

    I am not joking when I say I never agreed to disagree.

  • @Chris-hp2gg
    @Chris-hp2gg Месяц назад +1

    I agree to disagree.😂

  • @user-um9sl1kj6u
    @user-um9sl1kj6u Месяц назад +1

    I would not agree with someone I disagree with.
    If this is a clue, and the agents are watching, I’m completely isolated and by myself .
    All I’m doing is watching RUclips

  • @Man_of_Tears
    @Man_of_Tears Месяц назад

    A man who does, and has, practiced what he preaches. How refreshing to me.

  • @estelaguidote3658
    @estelaguidote3658 Месяц назад

    Inhale, exhale then learn how to say “NO”. Conflicts cannot be avoided but can be minimised. If you have a point, you don’t have to give in to others’ opinions and views because they don’t know what you’re actually going through. If they were in your shoes, then they would know why you said what you had to say and do what you have to do in order to stop the issue at hand.

  • @britanikothegreat8513
    @britanikothegreat8513 Месяц назад +1

    Proverb 4:7. Proverb 3:5-6. Proverb 8:8. One and the same thing. Psalms 144:9.

  • @buglepong
    @buglepong Месяц назад +1

    ok but the government will still come after me

  • @christopherchadwick2659
    @christopherchadwick2659 21 день назад

    Myself and my ex-wife would discuss our problems then come up with solutions that would satisfy both of us. A day later my ex-wife would ignore the solution and do what she wanted to do. It was only years after our divorce and after I’d lost everything and after I’d attempted suicide multiple times that I discovered my ex-wife suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Our marriage never really had a chance.

  • @britanikothegreat8513
    @britanikothegreat8513 Месяц назад

    Psalms 1:1-6. Psalms 40:4!!! Malachi 1:11.

  • @1castellp
    @1castellp Месяц назад

    You can concur but don't agree.

  • @johnworldwideweber9687
    @johnworldwideweber9687 Месяц назад

    13

  • @QML408
    @QML408 Месяц назад +1

    This topic is interesting. Fist off, I believe that as long as you're still alive and breathing on this earth, there will always be conflict. Yet, there are some compromises and negotiations in some conflicts, but there are other times where people only want conflict and they don't wish for resolution, especially, in the toxic workplaces.
    Btw, why is your daughter unzipping her shirt while talking to her parents? Highly inappropriate. Haha 😂

  • @LisaCaseyComedy
    @LisaCaseyComedy Месяц назад +5

    I scored 21 in agreeableness 😂😂

  • @buttpillow
    @buttpillow Месяц назад

    I left a comment regarding why I think your license was taken.
    1.
    My dad made a lot of aviation case law and when he died, I spent 10 years in probate court because I believed the lawyers wouldn't file fake pleadings.
    2. I was used to make malicious case law and I believed you are too. If you go for reeducation, it could set a precedent to be used against other shrinks.
    3. An airline was put into my dad's name and laundered thru probate court after a book came out re: Eastern Airlines that dad was in.
    4. The last thing my dad said to me was: "Follow this no matter where it leads." I had no idea what he was talking about until I followed it for 14 years.
    Respectfully
    Melanie Loomos

  • @phil16woman64
    @phil16woman64 Месяц назад +3

    Not agreeing with something you don’t agree with? When with someone you almost never agree with? Especially if you both are conflict avoidant? Not likely. Then neither gets what they want or need and it leads to a very unfulfilling and unhappy life. Then at age 50, on their birthday, the other one says ‘maybe we should divorce, I would like some happiness in my life.’ Not everything is negotiable. Sometimes you have to just call a truce or call it quits. Life is hard. Being alone is hard. Being married is hard. Pick your hard.

  • @jamaica2010ism
    @jamaica2010ism Месяц назад

    I would've loved to hear more from the wife.

  • @Naomi.B.
    @Naomi.B. Месяц назад +1

    Tammy seems like a gentle soul 😊

  • @GingerKral
    @GingerKral Месяц назад

    🩷🩷🩷

  • @shivadasa
    @shivadasa Месяц назад

    Jordan Peterson is about to find out what it feels like to become irrelevant.

  • @gsestream
    @gsestream Месяц назад

    people dont need to be taught in vain by other people. have the Spirit, God, the Lord with-in you. the promised Spirit. if you dont have the Spirit, you are not His own. as written in bible.

  • @NoToobForYou
    @NoToobForYou Месяц назад

    What does it mean when your agreeableness score is a scorched hole in the scorecard?
    Asking for a friend.
    Well, a former friend.

  • @user-rj8py9ld3j
    @user-rj8py9ld3j Месяц назад

    All came from God’s Foreknowledge, beginning with Jesus (Proverbs 8:22-36):
    God IS eternity. Everything in this world was with God in all eternity within His foreknowledge. God brought forth Jesus first, making him God’s only begotten Son - the only one created by God’s hands *alone.* God then placed all power and spirit into the hands of Jesus, who created the heavens and the earth. Together, they made the trees, animals, etc. They made mankind in their image and likeness of Father and Son (Genesis 1:26), for all things that belong to God will be in heaven (Isaiah 11:6-9). God also created Satan, who will spend all eternity apart from God along with his servants.
    All things existed in the foreknowledge of God’s infinite mind and will exist forever. Amen.

  • @actazrath5878
    @actazrath5878 Месяц назад

    Yes, Yes. Youre good father and husband. we got it.

  • @claudiamanta1943
    @claudiamanta1943 Месяц назад

    1:39 Lol OBSTINATE. Tammy is not that disagreeable as Peterson is not that agreeable, actually.

  • @johnsmith-do7fv
    @johnsmith-do7fv Месяц назад

    Remote Neural Hacking is real and used. Keep safe.

  • @khoro-Mathivha
    @khoro-Mathivha Месяц назад

    Thus family is turning into the academic Kardashians

  • @SebastianSimonDE
    @SebastianSimonDE Месяц назад +1

    First

  • @2001bop
    @2001bop Месяц назад +3

    The poor suffering Mr. Peterson never misses a chance to point out Mrs. Peterson’s disagreeableness.

  • @cameronidk2
    @cameronidk2 Месяц назад

    I have first dibs on mihkalias 3rd marriage. That being said . Me and her both scored 0 on our politeness. The fights would pretty ruff... but ingine how fun the make ups would be! Ye ha!.. sorry.

  • @LouiseIngram-hd5yc
    @LouiseIngram-hd5yc Месяц назад

    I don’t, I’m stubborn like my mother in that respect 🫡