Do Not Agree to Something You Don’t Agree With
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- Опубликовано: 28 апр 2024
- Watch the full video - • Couples Report from un...
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"Conflict avoided is conflict delayed and magnified" I should write this in stone myself
"Conflict avoided is conflict delayed & magnified." I agree wholeheartedly and I too don't like engaging in confrontational conflict. Now I understand that appeasing one household individual to avoid the powder keg explosions only enhanced the thermonuclear effect.
I have a friend who keeps avoiding conflict, but his coping mechanism whenever he feels uncomfortable is sarcasm which just makes the conflict worse and then we never get to resolve the issues we have and there were 3 times I almost completely stopped being friends with him because our problems kept stacking until finally the explosion happened. These happened much earlier in our friendship. Only reason I came back and became friends with him again each time was because our other friends in the group tried to bring me back and help us resolve our issues. The issues never really got *fully* resolved since he very clearly hasn't learned from his mistakes, but the situations that bring out those mistakes happen less often now probably because us in the group are more willing to bring his attention to his actions before things get out of hand now that we've been friends for much longer.
I think in every habit Ed Mylett "compound pounding" effect is the best solution...
in sport, in business, in relationships.
1. If you use compound pounding in sport, (exercissing for an hour) you will see no results in 5 days,
but you will see big results in 100 days.
2. If you will say a good morning to people, you will see no effect in 5 days,
but you will see a great difference in 100 days.
3. If you will practice the compassion for your partner and make some good deed,
you will see no or small difference in 5 days,
but you will see a great difference in 50 or 100 days,
you will see how much you mean to them.
Therefore you can not tell if your values are working after one week, because you see the effect after 100 or 140 days.
Maybe each couple should practice this technique, If I will make something small to make my partner happy, for a little moment, they will remmber theese little moments.
and good mood increases the immunity of the body by 50 percent in 4 days.
So their kids will learn the same technique.
They will learn that if they will read a book 10 minutes a day, it has great impact on brain.
Next time it may be 20 minutes a day.
But if you stop doing the habit now... after week it makes no difference
after 140 days the results change for worse, you loose muscless or you loose some skill or motivation etc.
Good deed may be also making a pizza or small things.
People actually enjoy small things much more than big gestures.
because it´s about living in the moment.
Yap
Before I discovered Jordan Peterson, my life was pure hell. I didn't have the courage to say, "NO." I was everyone's doormat, therapist, and banker. I felt bad refusing a favor to anyone. I heard JBP say, "You SHOULD be a monster because without teeth, you are useless. "... (I'm paraphrasing) But that line put my life on a completely different trajectory. 5 years later, I am the strongest and happiest I've ever been.
I am forever grateful for Jordan Peterson ❤🙏
"You SHOULD be a monster because without teeth, you are useless. go go go!!! same here
More clarity in 9 minutes and 30 seconds then most relationships get in years of conflict.
I have come to realize that my avoidance of conflict has been the number one cause for so many of the problems in my life. 😢😔
What conflicts with strangers or people using their mental health issues as an excuse.... Fuck it you can't fight weak men
what an amazing family to be able to talk things through in such a positive way
Been married 52 years learned these strategies also along the way! One thing I found is if when angry or upset with your partner if you disregard you feeling at the time then do something for that partner that is loving and that they would appreciate. It changes you inside allows you to cool down and rethink and renegotiate.
Thank you! This massively helps ❤
Yes that helps!
Wow this message was great timing for me. I was on the verge of betraying myself and going along with something I don't agree with even though I did clearly voice my wishes. No more wasting time on this shit anymore. God bless!
When I confront someone it bothers me afterwards....when I avoid confrontation to please it bothers me afterwards. Its the same when I make almost any decision.
To please?
You can't push people off cliffs just to make you live it's insane.... hurting humans lives for what
@@user-ec3rm9wr1n I dont understand you sentence
@@user-oh6ev7mj5q move on stop being sick person seek help talk to someone do something forget about me
Covid showed us the pitfalls of "go along to get along".
So well said
My family has these discussions in court
😂right
My goodness
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I literally laughed out loud. Sorry, but that was really funny lol
😂
I love your dry humour! I feel for you though. I hope you're not taking it personally. If so, and it's messing you up: check out: the four promises. Life changing read. If you put it into action that is...
...or the Bible.
But you get through 'the four promises' quicker...
[1] My son, if you have become surety for your neighbor,
have given your pledge for a stranger;
[2] if you are snared in the utterance of your lips,
caught in the words of your mouth;
[3] then do this, my son, and save yourself,
for you have come into your neighbor's power:
go, hasten, and importune your neighbor.
[4] Give your eyes no sleep
and your eyelids no slumber;
[5] save yourself like a gazelle from the hunter,
like a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Prov. 6: 1-5
When you look at your life, and you score in the 90s in Agreeableness every time you test over the years, you can't help but say "There you go. That explains a thing or two."
As a small business owner I learned to never ask an employee to do things they don't get like or even want to do.. sounds wierd but it will cost you way more If you do
I wish you were my boss
Just great how families should talk to each other x
This is me. Conflict avoidant. Definitely something I wish I had known about myself sooner.
A lot of the time, this comes from a good place of not wanting to potentially agitate your S/O. If the issue is trivial enough where acquiescing to their demands won't cause any long-term grief, it's understandable. But doing so by violating your core principles will likely cause more harm than good in the long run.
I wish there were more men in the world like Jordan Peterson....grown up, responsible and courageous
“I’m gonna keep reading and you comment if you want to about what this means. Dad.. ” Dr. Peterson already heard enough from that one sentence lol
love having and hearing conversations where there’s already a deeper level of understanding between people. Getting straight to the point & then explore the depths of meaning
20 Years too late for me. The cliche of "if I only knew then what I know now".. I can at best hope I serve as an example of what to avoid for others. I've lost much, though it is never lost on me that plenty others have lost far, far more.
Don't agree to something you don't agree with. My agreeable score is probably in the 90s, too. I finally realized to say, "Let me think about it". But it's hard to break old habits. I still entrap myself into agreeing or even suggesting something that I don't agree with or didn't think it thru.
Thats awesome for me that I got wonderful people to hear .❤❤
This was very informational and again so thankful for these short videos.
Amazing coversation! Tks
Great and insightful interview from all three involved within this podcast! Thanks.
You are a wonderful family! Thank you!
I attended his conference in Los Angeles yesterday and it was really good, the audience was very respectful, and the security personnel did their job on not allowing people to film or take photos during the conference, it was a well-organized event, I cannot wait to see him again next year in his 2025 tour.
Very insightful, realistic way of family problems solving. Thank u.
I recommend that everybody goes through the 12 steps of recovery, and that answers all your questions!
I really like your family. I'm sorry for judging you I took my frustration out on the wrong person I hope you forgive me. Godbless you and your family.
Thank you Dr. Peterson.
Thank You 🙏❤️
ThankYouAll
I want to know if Jordan Peterson is serious and heavy all the time or just when he's in the public eye. I hope he is not super serious and heavy all the time in his private life. I think he's brilliant and does so much for mankind. I would like to see him happy and relaxed more.
Yes, thought one problem with this idea (the video title) is that one person in particular I know, invalidates all my feelings & experiences with this mindset.
What a great trio my
While I appreciate JP's insight for the most part, I don't necessarily agree with the pure behavioral aspect of "What do you want me to say to satisfy you right now?" I don't want a robot to regurgitate words that will pacify me in the moment, despite being well-meaning it is important to find genuine connection and understanding
spit tin facts
Link to this agreeableness test?
You have a beautiful family 💝💝💝
I miss mine💔💔💔
Such a game changer
What are the tests that they are being scored on? Are they available somewhere online?
All about communication. We have to learn to there be time we will agree and time to disagree. But I feel there should not be compromise to agree to.
The daughter looks smart & beautiful 😉
Too bad I am I live in the USA, New Jersey
Can anyone point me to the full video? Much appreciated.
you have to mean that, and IF you had any sense you would!!!! Something thats missing a lot through relationships/ in the world in general anymore is SENSE!!
Like taxes for instance...
Every woman needs a husband like Jordan.
I am not joking when I say I never agreed to disagree.
I agree to disagree.😂
I would not agree with someone I disagree with.
If this is a clue, and the agents are watching, I’m completely isolated and by myself .
All I’m doing is watching RUclips
A man who does, and has, practiced what he preaches. How refreshing to me.
Inhale, exhale then learn how to say “NO”. Conflicts cannot be avoided but can be minimised. If you have a point, you don’t have to give in to others’ opinions and views because they don’t know what you’re actually going through. If they were in your shoes, then they would know why you said what you had to say and do what you have to do in order to stop the issue at hand.
Proverb 4:7. Proverb 3:5-6. Proverb 8:8. One and the same thing. Psalms 144:9.
ok but the government will still come after me
Myself and my ex-wife would discuss our problems then come up with solutions that would satisfy both of us. A day later my ex-wife would ignore the solution and do what she wanted to do. It was only years after our divorce and after I’d lost everything and after I’d attempted suicide multiple times that I discovered my ex-wife suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Our marriage never really had a chance.
Psalms 1:1-6. Psalms 40:4!!! Malachi 1:11.
You can concur but don't agree.
13
This topic is interesting. Fist off, I believe that as long as you're still alive and breathing on this earth, there will always be conflict. Yet, there are some compromises and negotiations in some conflicts, but there are other times where people only want conflict and they don't wish for resolution, especially, in the toxic workplaces.
Btw, why is your daughter unzipping her shirt while talking to her parents? Highly inappropriate. Haha 😂
I scored 21 in agreeableness 😂😂
I scored 0 🎉
I disagree with that score
@@Pikawarps I agree
I left a comment regarding why I think your license was taken.
1.
My dad made a lot of aviation case law and when he died, I spent 10 years in probate court because I believed the lawyers wouldn't file fake pleadings.
2. I was used to make malicious case law and I believed you are too. If you go for reeducation, it could set a precedent to be used against other shrinks.
3. An airline was put into my dad's name and laundered thru probate court after a book came out re: Eastern Airlines that dad was in.
4. The last thing my dad said to me was: "Follow this no matter where it leads." I had no idea what he was talking about until I followed it for 14 years.
Respectfully
Melanie Loomos
Not agreeing with something you don’t agree with? When with someone you almost never agree with? Especially if you both are conflict avoidant? Not likely. Then neither gets what they want or need and it leads to a very unfulfilling and unhappy life. Then at age 50, on their birthday, the other one says ‘maybe we should divorce, I would like some happiness in my life.’ Not everything is negotiable. Sometimes you have to just call a truce or call it quits. Life is hard. Being alone is hard. Being married is hard. Pick your hard.
I would've loved to hear more from the wife.
Tammy seems like a gentle soul 😊
🩷🩷🩷
Jordan Peterson is about to find out what it feels like to become irrelevant.
people dont need to be taught in vain by other people. have the Spirit, God, the Lord with-in you. the promised Spirit. if you dont have the Spirit, you are not His own. as written in bible.
What does it mean when your agreeableness score is a scorched hole in the scorecard?
Asking for a friend.
Well, a former friend.
All came from God’s Foreknowledge, beginning with Jesus (Proverbs 8:22-36):
God IS eternity. Everything in this world was with God in all eternity within His foreknowledge. God brought forth Jesus first, making him God’s only begotten Son - the only one created by God’s hands *alone.* God then placed all power and spirit into the hands of Jesus, who created the heavens and the earth. Together, they made the trees, animals, etc. They made mankind in their image and likeness of Father and Son (Genesis 1:26), for all things that belong to God will be in heaven (Isaiah 11:6-9). God also created Satan, who will spend all eternity apart from God along with his servants.
All things existed in the foreknowledge of God’s infinite mind and will exist forever. Amen.
Yes, Yes. Youre good father and husband. we got it.
1:39 Lol OBSTINATE. Tammy is not that disagreeable as Peterson is not that agreeable, actually.
Remote Neural Hacking is real and used. Keep safe.
Thus family is turning into the academic Kardashians
First
The poor suffering Mr. Peterson never misses a chance to point out Mrs. Peterson’s disagreeableness.
I have first dibs on mihkalias 3rd marriage. That being said . Me and her both scored 0 on our politeness. The fights would pretty ruff... but ingine how fun the make ups would be! Ye ha!.. sorry.
Wtf
I don’t, I’m stubborn like my mother in that respect 🫡