To this day, even though I rewatch every video in my poetry playlist (and this is on there twice), that is one of the main lines that sticks with me. It strikes a chord
"I always imagined this would happen without warning...but this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever." That line killed me.
@@shinytingz1065 It could mean one of two things. 1. If my furniture is moved into your apartment then we are moving in together (love) 2. If my furniture is moved into your apartment then I am dead and somebody has to take my belongings (suicide). It's a very deep line, took me a second to understand
+Andrea Yeong as a former professional prospect for baseball who gave it all up because i was gay and scared....this goes through my head every. single. day.
'I never had the courage to buy bright green sheets. I wanted them, but thought they were too brash, even with no one but me to see them. I bought a set yesterday and put them on the bed. I knew that you would like them.' That one sticks on me.
@Janiyah Baylor For the love letter side it could mean someone coming over and you know and they get to see the bright green sheets, or on the suicide note it could mean a lot darker things
Hiwotea Gebru Love: Finally buying these green blankets represents him conquering his lack of courage which comes from his supportive partner who’s seeing him later via the ‘’I knew u would like them.’ statement. Suicide: He doesn’t care about his lack of courage anymore because he’s about to commit suicide. He knows ‘you would like them’ bcuz the blanket was the last thing that he’d touched. Hope this helped :)
The strongest way that I understand this poem is that it is about choosing between living and dying, or trying more vs giving in. The listener gets to choose each time whether the read line is from a love letter or a suicide note. Each of the personal stories in here to me is more beautiful in meaning when it is thought to belong to a love letter, as even with the sometimes wrenching pain involved with remembering or living, the writer has chosen to love. So to me the meaning is live, love, and fight the pain with your vast, vast heart.
That of course falls into the false assumption that suicide is about weakness, however. Being able to decide whether you live or die should be considered the most fundamental personal liberty. Also, many of those who take their lives have been fighting a losing battle or decades, and put in far more energy than even they thought made sense. As much as we might like to believe it, in many cases depression and mental illness do not improve. Nobody else knows what another human being has dealt with, or how hard they have fought in the solitude of their own mind. In cases of depression, most people do not have that simple choice to decide what is ugly or beautiful. Consider yourself lucky if it is easy--or at least possible--for you, and be considerate to those who can't just wake up in the morning and know that a choice is the only thing that exists between themselves and absolute despair.
Me Too! Some jerk made an inappropriate comment, about me needing to exercise (The guy said it, whilst sitting in a wheel chair....imagine), Now, I'm releasing my anger with poetry!! The in a funny way, that @ss was a blessing in disguise, because, being pissed with him, reconnected me too something I use to enjoy.......Hey, I feel better!
Anu Yew It does bring about this amazingly brilliant talent and determination in us as creative human beings. Then, at the end of the day, we see that we are indeed worth something, because of the very words before us. Written or typed with our own hands, the hands of the person we find the most difficult to love at times. Well, that’s me anyway 😊. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️ #LoveWins
15. "i feel like i am losing my mind" 16. "no matter where you are i hope ill always be in your heart" 17. "i'm not scared anymore because now i know i am finally at peace" 18. "i am, and have, and will ALWAYS love you."
I feel like if someone were to hear this poem without knowing the title it could reveal a lot about their world perception. If you associate most of the lines with suicide notes what could that say about you? If you associate most of the lines with love letters what could that say about you? just a thought I suppose.
Without context I would assume it was about someone utterly terrified to admit to being in love because of previous hurt. With context I definitely hear both. I am biased though because I happen to be in love and afraid to tell because of previous hurt lol
15. I don’t know if you can tell from this scribbly handwriting, but my hands are shaking like crazy. 16. This was never going to be easy to write, but I’ll do it anyway: I know this will make things easier. For the both of us. 17. The library finally had that book you were looking for, so I checked it out for you. It’s on you to return it though. And you better not tear a page - the librarian would kill me, haha. 18. You ever feel so much that it hurts? 19. I thought about writing this in pink gel pen. I thought it would be tacky... but maybe it would have made this kind of funny. I know this isn’t something to laugh at, but maybe it would be simpler that way. I could crumple this up and restart with the pink, but my bin’s already full of scrapped drafts because I keep finding myself rambling on.... sometimes you just need someone there to cut you off when you’ve said too much. Otherwise, how can you tell? 20. I’ve always been scared of forevers. Guess I’ll have to get over that for this, though. 21. I don’t know if I should apologize for this. 22. I just realized I’ve never gotten to see the Eiffel Tower. I always dreamed of seeing it up close... but at this point, I feel like this is a bigger priority. 23. I quit secrets. I quit unsaid words and bottled emotions and hiding truths in an old Amazon box under my bed. (You were going to find it anyway.) 24. I hope you’ll always be there to make the promises I couldn’t keep. 25. I love you.
I think it is painful if this is 15 lines from a love letter or suicide note (in your case 26 lol) because if he just say 15. I think he had the courage to write it but not to finish it.
25 to me is the most chilling because when you think about what may go on either “I love you” can come up on both and if you were to write both letters than to the same person in the same context and that is just bone chilling to think that one day I could get a letter and only read three words and not know which one it is till I read the rest
A lot of comments are saying the last line should be “I love you” But I don’t think so. Because he already said it. You could hear it in every single one of these line. And I think that makes it all the more beautiful.
Every time I listen to this poem I get sadder and sadder. The part about the ivy hurts the most, 13. How could something be there and not be there? So deep.
No kidding that one verse is so powerful and then knowing that could be someones last words if it was a sucuide note and the way doc says that line sticks out hitting you right in the feels
Ger Vigo same I wanted to become an MMA fighter but I got involved in drugs and drinking I told myself I would be fine I told myself I would be different I told myself I would be strong I told myself... until I looked in my mirror and seen fat and a face deep with depression like an ocean I looked at my test scores I looked at my family who were hurting because 5 men showed up at my door demanding money and I needed to go outside. I looked at myself and I cried I cried so hard and so long it’s unbelievable idk why I’m telling you this maybe maybe my meaningless words might come through to you maybe your a geek/gimp in your school well I was popular everyone says it’s not worth it we’ll trust me it’s not worth it... don’t be a teachers pet but listen find subjects you enjoy and try, try 100 percent every time don’t do a me and stop going to school then stop going to training then stop leaving your bed that feels like a coffin till Saturday because your so busy looking up at the roof wondering where everything when wrong, don’t sit there and feel bad for yourself go do something fucking hit the gym or whatever I know this is mental cause this is 5 years ago but fuck it
in april of this year i wrote a suicide note that started off with this poem shortly before almost hanging myself and being checked in to a mental hospital. i still see myself in many of these lines but the sadness is less constant, less overwhelming than before.
I pray that you'll find your solace. There must have been a reason why your here. A fighter in the jungle of life. Find your latibule my friend, live long and prosper! ^_^
can we please take a moment to appreciate number four. It is such a generous act, something only someone who loves you would do, and it is truly, definitely the hardest one for me to decipher.
I Didn't Know What To Write Here Of course, sweetheart, He says "I bought the kind of crackers you can eat, they're in the hall cupboard" the fact the person who wrote the note (the buyer of the crackers) knows that the recipient must have some type of allergy - hence the 'can eat'- or maybe it's just the favourite biscuit, either way only a loved one knows that type of information; it's almost an insignificant type of thing to know, but it holds so much weight. It was such a loving act to buy them. buying the crackers could have been from someone, a lover, who paid attention. Or it could be a final gift from someone about to take their life, so the recipient of the crackers knows they were the last person they thought of, and that they were loved.
What I get from this is that it's hard to tell which lines are from suicide notes and love letters because depression and love are so closely related. Love can too closely relate to the things that might push us towards taking our own lives.
+Skyllar Roach I almost took my life this year, if I'd pulled the trigger just a tad bit more. The beast residing in the abyss, so crafty with words; had convinced me that I'll only manage to hurt the ones I love and that it was the only way to break that cycle. My saving grace was that I realized that one of those I love, the one whom I had the incident that dragged me so low: suffers from the same kind of an overly sensitive sense of guilt. And I could not let that same guilt destroy her.
"How can something be there, and then NOT be there? How can we forgive ourselves for something we did not become?" Most beautiful thing I've ever seen and listened to. You are truly amazing and I am so thankful to have found this poem despite not usually liking poetry
I listened to it and I was going to write down my favourite in the comments. Then I listened to it again, and now I can't. They are all so powerful and brilliant in their own ways I want to cry but I can't get the tears out.
Write a love letter so yourself, to the present and the future, and a suicide note to the person you once was, to the past and to the person you never want to become again.
*"I can not imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late."* This has so many distinct meanings to me, and all regard the same person. That person who will, despite all my praying and vows to Somebody that I would do something if I could go back in time, will always be my deepest, "what if?"
I come back to this video every time I watch Button Poetry. Every poem I hear on this channel is raw and powerful but this one is so meaningful to me. The line that gets me every time and the one that has stuck with me for a long time, and may stick with me forever, is "How can we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?"
My ex showed me this poem one time we were going back and forth showing different poems we enjoyed, sadly she took her life a while back. Now this poem really been hitting harder RIP Destiny
“I came home on Tuesday and found all of the chairs that I own stacked in a tower in the center of my kitchen. I don’t know how long they have been like that, but it can only be me that did it. It’s the kind of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment.” wow, just wow
To me, the most haunting line is “I wonder how many likes this will get on Facebook”. I was severely depressed and suicidal last year. I always thought if I was gone, no one would care. No one would show condolence on social media. No one would even show up to the funeral.
I hope you are doing better now Sarah. Remember it's not about what people will miss it's about what u will miss out on. That's why I tell myself to keep going.
"I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late. But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it?" Why is no one talking about this line?? Its incredible
Every so often I watch this video again. I come back to it. I watched it maybe 20 times now and every. single. time. I get chills. "How can something be there and yet not be there? How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?" gets me every time. If I watch it during the day I can usually hold myself together, but a couple of times I have watched it around 3 am. Those times ended with me crying.
this poem has stuck with me throughout my life. I come back every couple months and just experience it again. As someone struggling with mental illness this will never not be deeply cathartic and relateable.
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve listened to this , but the line “ how can we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become “ haunts me . By far my favorite poem .
Usually I don´t really "get" poetry. It takes a lot of energy for me to decipher what is expressed and that makes it hard to enjoy them and feel the emotion they "should" evoke but this poem gets me every time. I´ve know it for a couple years and keep returning to it
That line about the iron brought back a memory about my grandma and little sister. At the time my sister hated scary movies but all of us including my grandma made her watch it with us and after it was over my grandma spooked her when she was walking down the hallway so of course she screamed bloody murder and started to ball. This had to be at least 10 years ago and to this day my grandma will still randomly bring it up in conversation and profusely apologize
It's been 6 years and I every so often return to this video. It always touches me deeply but it also makes me feel safe. Thank you for existing right now
i felt so stupid for not getting it the first time around then i found out in the comments that it was actually an emotional and beautiful poem so i played it again like 2 times and now it's slowly sinking in my heart.
I like this poem, because whether in love or suicidal you understand the depth of his words. Its amazing how a lot of it is left up to the listener. Depending on the point you are in, in your life, dictates whether or not you take the lines as a suicide note or love letter. Deep.
This is really beautiful. I’ve seen a lot of people in the comments guessing which line belongs to which letter but I feel the whole point is that there is no answer. I feel the title is there only to offer the illusion of choice/distinction. By doing this, he captures how both love and hopelessness are entangled constants of the human experience, and how distinguishing and labelling them is ultimately just a silly thing we do to make sense of the world. Really beautiful meta art written in such a human way I’m in loove.
i remember when i watched him perform the same poem long ago, i kept replaying it as if it was my favourite song. he improved it, of course, but i cant believe how passionate he still is... this is incredible.
I watched this video 5 years ago when I was a suicidal 17 year old, hoping for a better future. I wept and wept because I never heard something more relatable. Here I am now, 23, and I am just now coming to grasp the significance of each line as I sit here...finally ready to end my life. I tried, Shania. I tried for you. I never gave up, but I cannot handle living anymore. Thank you for this video.
I look at him before the video and I think, "a normal man." Then I hear him speak and it's like someone understands me. Poetry truly does breed kinship. I hope people find refuge in this poem.
I like the way he uses his voice: pausing in the right moments to make some things slightly highlighted, talking faster to build some tension... I like it a lot. This got me into poetry a long time ago :)
I was crying by #4... I never comment on RUclips videos, but for some reason, this one really stood out to and touched me. I'd have tried to give this guy a hug for sure.
Every couple weeks I come back to this masterpiece to feel my heart getting ripped out of my chest. I realized some time ago that it helps me reflecting how bad I really feel, because I interpret more and more parts as suicide notes if I'm having a hard time but when everything seems to be alright it feels like a bunch of love letters
"I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all of the things we didnt say until it was too late" I am,,, breathless with how much that hurt in my chest and resonates with me
The crowd's reaction is painfully underwhelming, this is an absolute masterpiece. But maybe that is because I viewed it from a suicide note's perspective. This was intense, articulate, so well-put and painful. This man is a phenomenal poet, sharp, expressive and sometimes absolutely hilarious. I recommend that you listen to his other pieces (Punny human for example) if you enjoyed this one. To anyone who needs to hear it, hang in there, you are worthy.
I remember when I first found this, I watched it over and over, trying to figure out which ones were which, telling myself as a suicidal person I could tell, and being so sure of myself. I now watch this year's later no long suicidal, and just experience the beauty of this, silently thanking it for all it helped me through in the background.
They're so personal and the connections to each emotion can be so familiar and relatable. "I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment." The detail that their thoughts have gone into, how they've turned over and considered every possible thought. "Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I don't know what else to do next." How drastically the mood of that sentence can switch depending in which situation you read it. In a love letter it's so light-hearted and pure and in a suicide note it's heavy, suken- almost tired but desperate, to me. "I bought the kind of crackers you eat. They're in the hall cupboard." Again, the obsessive thinking over every detail, but I also just love how personal and tailored it is. It's not appealing to a wide audience, it's for the sender and the recipient's eyes only. "Don't freak out" I just cant get over the contrast. In one way it's exciting and pure and in the other there's no other way to describe it but breaking. Heart, soul- all of it, just breaking. This is just so beautiful. A few of these did slip past me tho. I think I kind of get number 14 but I'm at a loss for number 12, if anyone could explain their idea of it that'd be rad :)
"12. My father always told the same joke but I can't remember the punchline" My interpretation of this line is that he has lost one of the most memorable memories of his father (sad side) or that he was so caught up in other thoughts (such as the person they were in love with) that the joke never seemed to stick with them.
The comment section felt like a warm hug, like a support group of strangers, thousands of us who are watching the same piece of art but experiencing and perceiving it differently, it sunk my heart and yet made me smile, we're all doomed but in this together, aren't we?
1. Don't freak out. 2. We both know this have been coming for a long time. 3. I've been staying awake at night wondering if i should tell you. 4. I bought the kind of crackers you can eat. They are in the hall cupboard. 5. Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I do not know what else to do next. 6. I always imagined this would happen without warning, like suddenly on an ocean cliff side but this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever. 7. I've just been too afraid for too long. 8. I came home on Tuesday and found all of the chairs that I own stacked in a tower in the center of my kitchen. I don't know how long they had been like that but it can only be me that did it. It's the kind of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment. 9. My grandmother was still alive when I was 5 years old and she asked me to check and see if the iron was hot enough yet so I pressed my hand against it and it was red and screaming for hours. 25 years later, she would still sometimes apologize in the middle of conversations, "I feel so bad about making you touch the iron" she'd say, as though it had just happened. I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late. But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it? 10. I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment. 11. I wonder how many likes this will get on Facebook. 12. My dad always used to tell the same joke but I can't remember the punchline. 13. I was 8 years old and it took 3 weeks (3 8 yr old weeks, imagine) to gather everything that I would need to be Batman. Rope, boomerang, a Mardi Gras mask with the beads cut off. I couldn't find a cave near my house, so I buried them all in a bundle under the ivy. For years after, I tried to find that spot again. The ivy grew too fast. I searched in so many spots. It seemed impossible that I had missed one. But I never found it. How can something be there, and then not be there? How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become? 14. I never had the courage to buy bright green sheets. I wanted them, but thought they were too brash, even with no one but me to see them. I bought a set yesterday and put them on the bed. I knew that you would like them.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
"How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become"
That was the line that hit me the most.
To this day, even though I rewatch every video in my poetry playlist (and this is on there twice), that is one of the main lines that sticks with me. It strikes a chord
This line hit me the most yo....
That phrase punched me in the stomach
ReadyTo CheckOut I think the story behind it was the real kicker.
“i am haunting my own apartment.” that’s chilling.
i don’t get it...
I understand it intimately and that scares me.
I do it. It is at first until you realize it. Then its lonely and you wish you had a ghost
jasmine saldana as soon as I read this comment, he said it.
I relate.
you can tell the pain in this guy's face man.
Yeah. It's there. It's real.
I hope he's doing alright. Anybody know?
And his voice
@@GiantPetRatHe's ded
@@boutxthatxtime ?
"I always imagined this would happen without warning...but this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever."
That line killed me.
Killed them too, maybe
@@jjbean2989 could be love too
you hope it's love
I'm playing this for my husband who's never heard it.... that line was the first thing to get his reaction
"I knew that you would like them" fucks me up because my first thought was that the line was addressed to whoever would find the body.
+Hitmon Chan I thought the exact same thing!
+Hitmon Chan Or the lover.
Its not? Oh.
I cried so hard because it reminds me of my relationship. :(
It's obviously a self love letter.
15. I love you.
Damn i never thought of it.. So simple yet so true :0
fUCK
Andrew Murphy isn't that the same as number 4?
Andrew Murphy how profound
I’m honestly upset this wasn’t the end
I honestly thought #14 was going to be "I love you." If it had been, I don't think my heart could have survived.
Deep bruh
Sayuri Miharu It pretty much means the same as 'I love you', though.
+Sayuri Miharu (SereneIsYourArrow) That would've totally ruined this poem. So I'm glad it wasn't.
+Sayuri Miharu (SereneIsYourArrow) Perhaps the last line is a way of saying I love you.
Sometimes it's more powerful to be indirect.
I dont really know why, but the "I keep wondering what my furniture will look like in your apartment" line gets me the most. Beautiful.
Tessa Ast me too.
Yeah that one is dark...
Tessa Ast where is that??
ion get it please explaib
@@shinytingz1065 It could mean one of two things. 1. If my furniture is moved into your apartment then we are moving in together (love) 2. If my furniture is moved into your apartment then I am dead and somebody has to take my belongings (suicide). It's a very deep line, took me a second to understand
"how can something _be_ there? and then not be there. how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we _did_ _not_ become." shit
+Andrea Yeong as a former professional prospect for baseball who gave it all up because i was gay and scared....this goes through my head every. single. day.
+21redsox21
but you're not weak for it, i hope you know that.
Andrea Yeong I read that right as he said it... Damn I don't even know if it's from a love letter or a suicide note....
Andrea Yeong This line slays me. ...
@@claraswart140 both.
'I never had the courage to buy bright green sheets. I wanted them, but thought they were too brash, even with no one but me to see them. I bought a set yesterday and put them on the bed. I knew that you would like them.' That one sticks on me.
could you explain what it means?
yeah what does it mean
Its open to interpretation
@Janiyah Baylor For the love letter side it could mean someone coming over and you know and they get to see the bright green sheets, or on the suicide note it could mean a lot darker things
Hiwotea Gebru
Love:
Finally buying these green blankets represents him conquering his lack of courage which comes from his supportive partner who’s seeing him later via the ‘’I knew u would like them.’ statement.
Suicide:
He doesn’t care about his lack of courage anymore because he’s about to commit suicide. He knows ‘you would like them’ bcuz the blanket was the last thing that he’d touched.
Hope this helped :)
The strongest way that I understand this poem is that it is about choosing between living and dying, or trying more vs giving in. The listener gets to choose each time whether the read line is from a love letter or a suicide note. Each of the personal stories in here to me is more beautiful in meaning when it is thought to belong to a love letter, as even with the sometimes wrenching pain involved with remembering or living, the writer has chosen to love. So to me the meaning is live, love, and fight the pain with your vast, vast heart.
I love that explanation, kudos for the optimism!
Thanks Sonja. :)
ParadigmRabbit You are the best!!!Thank you.
Akha Tutu That's positively nice. Thanks Akha. :)
That of course falls into the false assumption that suicide is about weakness, however. Being able to decide whether you live or die should be considered the most fundamental personal liberty. Also, many of those who take their lives have been fighting a losing battle or decades, and put in far more energy than even they thought made sense.
As much as we might like to believe it, in many cases depression and mental illness do not improve. Nobody else knows what another human being has dealt with, or how hard they have fought in the solitude of their own mind.
In cases of depression, most people do not have that simple choice to decide what is ugly or beautiful. Consider yourself lucky if it is easy--or at least possible--for you, and be considerate to those who can't just wake up in the morning and know that a choice is the only thing that exists between themselves and absolute despair.
I used to relate every line in this poem to suicide. I now see only love in these words. I have truly made it to the other side.
I am very late but congratulations.
Your comment has brought me nearly to tears. I wish to meet you there. Kind stranger.
❤❤❤
I am sad and healing myself with poetry
+Kennedy Spaulding That's the best kind of healing actually. You'll grow more understanding and more aware when you're through :)
On the same journey
Same
+Kennedy Spaulding it's a good kinda' therapy 💜
Me Too! Some jerk made an inappropriate comment, about me needing to exercise (The guy said it, whilst sitting in a wheel chair....imagine), Now, I'm releasing my anger with poetry!! The in a funny way, that @ss was a blessing in disguise, because, being pissed with him, reconnected me too something I use to enjoy.......Hey, I feel better!
Anu Yew It does bring about this amazingly brilliant talent and determination in us as creative human beings.
Then, at the end of the day, we see that we are indeed worth something, because of the very words before us.
Written or typed with our own hands, the hands of the person we find the most difficult to love at times. Well, that’s me anyway 😊.
Thanks for sharing your story ❤️ #LoveWins
15. "i feel like i am losing my mind"
16. "no matter where you are i hope ill always be in your heart"
17. "i'm not scared anymore because now i know i am finally at peace"
18. "i am, and have, and will ALWAYS love you."
+JadeTheBrave #18 is the last thing my dad said to me on the phone before he committed suicide.
+Devinxoxo_ damn...
+Devinxoxo_ rest in peace, bless.
Devinxoxo_ I’m so sorry for your lost
19: remember to stay safe because I love you
I feel like if someone were to hear this poem without knowing the title it could reveal a lot about their world perception. If you associate most of the lines with suicide notes what could that say about you? If you associate most of the lines with love letters what could that say about you? just a thought I suppose.
your awesome
That is really true you could very well read people that way youre genius lol
I haven’t really found any of these to be fitting in love letters or suicide notes, but that’s just my own opinion
Without context I would assume it was about someone utterly terrified to admit to being in love because of previous hurt.
With context I definitely hear both.
I am biased though because I happen to be in love and afraid to tell because of previous hurt lol
You bloody genius
15. I don’t know if you can tell from this scribbly handwriting, but my hands are shaking like crazy.
16. This was never going to be easy to write, but I’ll do it anyway: I know this will make things easier. For the both of us.
17. The library finally had that book you were looking for, so I checked it out for you. It’s on you to return it though. And you better not tear a page - the librarian would kill me, haha.
18. You ever feel so much that it hurts?
19. I thought about writing this in pink gel pen. I thought it would be tacky... but maybe it would have made this kind of funny. I know this isn’t something to laugh at, but maybe it would be simpler that way. I could crumple this up and restart with the pink, but my bin’s already full of scrapped drafts because I keep finding myself rambling on.... sometimes you just need someone there to cut you off when you’ve said too much. Otherwise, how can you tell?
20. I’ve always been scared of forevers. Guess I’ll have to get over that for this, though.
21. I don’t know if I should apologize for this.
22. I just realized I’ve never gotten to see the Eiffel Tower. I always dreamed of seeing it up close... but at this point, I feel like this is a bigger priority.
23. I quit secrets. I quit unsaid words and bottled emotions and hiding truths in an old Amazon box under my bed. (You were going to find it anyway.)
24. I hope you’ll always be there to make the promises I couldn’t keep.
25. I love you.
I think it is painful if this is 15 lines from a love letter or suicide note (in your case 26 lol) because if he just say 15. I think he had the courage to write it but not to finish it.
damn number 20 and 25... shit man
25 to me is the most chilling because when you think about what may go on either “I love you” can come up on both and if you were to write both letters than to the same person in the same context and that is just bone chilling to think that one day I could get a letter and only read three words and not know which one it is till I read the rest
❤️
I love your additions.
A lot of comments are saying the last line should be “I love you”
But I don’t think so. Because he already said it.
You could hear it in every single one of these line.
And I think that makes it all the more beautiful.
Every time I listen to this poem I get sadder and sadder. The part about the ivy hurts the most, 13. How could something be there and not be there? So deep.
But how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?
+Troz Starlight that's the part that sat with me the most.
No kidding that one verse is so powerful and then knowing that could be someones last words if it was a sucuide note and the way doc says that line sticks out hitting you right in the feels
This is deep and haunting in the way that you realize you can't tell which belongs to what.
sleepyufos because they all belong to both, in ways which are almost identical, except are somehow simultaneously crucially different
that’s because many suicide notes are love letters, left for those we cares for the most. the people we thought of at our lowest points.
❤️
@@punyparkerr thats very poignant :)
"How did we forgive ourself for all the things we did not become?" .. amazing.. really powerfull.
Ger Vigo same I wanted to become an MMA fighter but I got involved in drugs and drinking I told myself I would be fine I told myself I would be different I told myself I would be strong I told myself... until I looked in my mirror and seen fat and a face deep with depression like an ocean I looked at my test scores I looked at my family who were hurting because 5 men showed up at my door demanding money and I needed to go outside. I looked at myself and I cried I cried so hard and so long it’s unbelievable idk why I’m telling you this maybe maybe my meaningless words might come through to you maybe your a geek/gimp in your school well I was popular everyone says it’s not worth it we’ll trust me it’s not worth it... don’t be a teachers pet but listen find subjects you enjoy and try, try 100 percent every time don’t do a me and stop going to school then stop going to training then stop leaving your bed that feels like a coffin till Saturday because your so busy looking up at the roof wondering where everything when wrong, don’t sit there and feel bad for yourself go do something fucking hit the gym or whatever I know this is mental cause this is 5 years ago but fuck it
in april of this year i wrote a suicide note that started off with this poem shortly before almost hanging myself and being checked in to a mental hospital. i still see myself in many of these lines but the sadness is less constant, less overwhelming than before.
I pray that you'll find your solace. There must have been a reason why your here. A fighter in the jungle of life. Find your latibule my friend, live long and prosper! ^_^
Daniel Smith I am very happy you are still here. Truly.
Daniel Smith I'm so happy your ok ❤
I'm glad you're still here❤️
Daniel Smith I know this is really late but if there is any chance you get this, I was wondering if maybe u can give me some advice
"I am haunting my own apartment" fuck. That is beautiful
can we please take a moment to appreciate number four. It is such a generous act, something only someone who loves you would do, and it is truly, definitely the hardest one for me to decipher.
Lauren O could you please explain the same to me?
I Didn't Know What To Write Here I'm sorry, I'd love to help you, but I don't quite understand what you're asking? xx
Lauren O I was wondering if you could explain the in-depth meaning of point four.. I didn't quite get it:))
I Didn't Know What To Write Here Of course, sweetheart,
He says "I bought the kind of crackers you can eat, they're in the hall cupboard" the fact the person who wrote the note (the buyer of the crackers) knows that the recipient must have some type of allergy - hence the 'can eat'- or maybe it's just the favourite biscuit, either way only a loved one knows that type of information; it's almost an insignificant type of thing to know, but it holds so much weight. It was such a loving act to buy them.
buying the crackers could have been from someone, a lover, who paid attention.
Or it could be a final gift from someone about to take their life, so the recipient of the crackers knows they were the last person they thought of, and that they were loved.
Lauren O wow, now I get it! Very uncommon. Thank you so much:))
I've been too scared for too long.
♥
Yes, I, can relate
" How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late " ... this is haunting me right now ...
The emotion in this is so real, it's clear that it meant something
“Waiting for the time to be right would just be waiting forever” damn that hit me
Yes... That hit so hard..
That's my uncle he's the best!!!!!!!!!!!
Indigo The nerrrd omg tell him this is the most amazing thing please
Jaidyn Smith I texted him
Indigo The nerrrd didn't expect a reply, thank you! amazing poetry like this deserves approximation
*appriciation
Indigo The nerrrd he's amazing!
"how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?" wow. i'm crying.
"...it's the kind of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I'm haunting my own apartment." 😍😭
Wow this is the most powerful poem I've heard in a long time. Just heartbreaking and beautiful
How do we forgive ourselves for the things we did not become. Ugh. That line got me. 😥😭
That was a powerful line among many stand outs.
oh god, that last line sends chills down my spine every time.
Taylor Morales me too. For some reasons the last one hit me the most
What I get from this is that it's hard to tell which lines are from suicide notes and love letters because depression and love are so closely related. Love can too closely relate to the things that might push us towards taking our own lives.
The idea is that all of these lines would fit into both.
I did not say it does. I referenced that it can be one if many factors that can lead to suicide. It's just what I got from this.
+Skyllar Roach
I almost took my life this year, if I'd pulled the trigger just a tad bit more.
The beast residing in the abyss, so crafty with words; had convinced me that I'll only manage to hurt the ones I love and that it was the only way to break that cycle.
My saving grace was that I realized that one of those I love, the one whom I had the incident that dragged me so low: suffers from the same kind of an overly sensitive sense of guilt. And I could not let that same guilt destroy her.
stop that
stop giving me the feels
'I've just been too afraid for too long'. Tears start falling.
2:11 12. "My dad always used to tell the same joke. But I can't remember the punchline."
Sad after losing a loved one. Great work, every line.
"How can something be there, and then NOT be there? How can we forgive ourselves for something we did not become?"
Most beautiful thing I've ever seen and listened to. You are truly amazing and I am so thankful to have found this poem despite not usually liking poetry
I listened to it and I was going to write down my favourite in the comments. Then I listened to it again, and now I can't. They are all so powerful and brilliant in their own ways I want to cry but I can't get the tears out.
I'm both in love, and suicidal. Every day, I wonder, will I write a love letter, or a suicide note today?
you're lovely and lovable, so definitely love letter. you won't need suicide note.
Make it a love letter and keep your beautiful heart beating a little longer xx
Write a love letter so yourself, to the present and the future, and a suicide note to the person you once was, to the past and to the person you never want to become again.
cas the ass me too :/
hang in there. :) we care. I know it's been a year since you typed this comment, But for the love of GOD I hope i am not talking to a ghost.
*"I can not imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late."*
This has so many distinct meanings to me, and all regard the same person. That person who will, despite all my praying and vows to Somebody that I would do something if I could go back in time, will always be my deepest, "what if?"
I noticed u used a capital s somebody like I do too. I hope you're able to feel at peace.
I come back to this video every time I watch Button Poetry. Every poem I hear on this channel is raw and powerful but this one is so meaningful to me. The line that gets me every time and the one that has stuck with me for a long time, and may stick with me forever, is "How can we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?"
My ex showed me this poem one time we were going back and forth showing different poems we enjoyed, sadly she took her life a while back.
Now this poem really been hitting harder
RIP Destiny
“I came home on Tuesday and found all of the chairs that I own stacked in a tower in the center of my kitchen. I don’t know how long they have been like that, but it can only be me that did it. It’s the kind of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment.” wow, just wow
The part with the iron and "how hot until you touch it" really got me,
The last one killed me. "I knew that you would have liked them". Chills man wonderful poem.
What a beautiful poem. Thank you. 💜
This is still one of the most moving poems I've heard. It's so different from the others on this channel.
eight always gets me.
'its the type of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment.'
I have come back to this video every month when I want to feel a certain way for 6 years now ..... thanks so much for your words
15. We almost had it all
that would be a pretty depressing love letter
damn ouch
All I can think of is Adele
Kayla Ackerman the scars of your love they leave me breathless
We had to hit a wall
-Amy Whinehouse
I've listened to this so many times and I can view all of these for both a suicide note and love letter
To me, the most haunting line is “I wonder how many likes this will get on Facebook”. I was severely depressed and suicidal last year. I always thought if I was gone, no one would care. No one would show condolence on social media. No one would even show up to the funeral.
I hope you are doing better now Sarah. Remember it's not about what people will miss it's about what u will miss out on. That's why I tell myself to keep going.
“How do we forgive ourselves for the things we did not become?”
I felt that one
Hits every time, even after a dozen rewatches
Thank you!
"I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late. But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it?" Why is no one talking about this line?? Its incredible
Every so often I watch this video again. I come back to it. I watched it maybe 20 times now and every. single. time. I get chills. "How can something be there and yet not be there? How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?" gets me every time. If I watch it during the day I can usually hold myself together, but a couple of times I have watched it around 3 am. Those times ended with me crying.
"I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late." Hits alittle different
this poem has stuck with me throughout my life. I come back every couple months and just experience it again. As someone struggling with mental illness this will never not be deeply cathartic and relateable.
The pain in his eyes is heart shattering....
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve listened to this , but the line “ how can we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become “ haunts me . By far my favorite poem .
Usually I don´t really "get" poetry. It takes a lot of energy for me to decipher what is expressed and that makes it hard to enjoy them and feel the emotion they "should" evoke but this poem gets me every time. I´ve know it for a couple years and keep returning to it
That line about the iron brought back a memory about my grandma and little sister. At the time my sister hated scary movies but all of us including my grandma made her watch it with us and after it was over my grandma spooked her when she was walking down the hallway so of course she screamed bloody murder and started to ball. This had to be at least 10 years ago and to this day my grandma will still randomly bring it up in conversation and profusely apologize
It's been 6 years and I every so often return to this video. It always touches me deeply but it also makes me feel safe. Thank you for existing right now
i felt so stupid for not getting it the first time around then i found out in the comments that it was actually an emotional and beautiful poem so i played it again like 2 times and now it's slowly sinking in my heart.
I like this poem, because whether in love or suicidal you understand the depth of his words. Its amazing how a lot of it is left up to the listener. Depending on the point you are in, in your life, dictates whether or not you take the lines as a suicide note or love letter. Deep.
Candace Major yeah ikr
Like, for me, I can see both, because every time I write a letter it could equally be a love letter or a suicide note
This is really beautiful. I’ve seen a lot of people in the comments guessing which line belongs to which letter but I feel the whole point is that there is no answer. I feel the title is there only to offer the illusion of choice/distinction. By doing this, he captures how both love and hopelessness are entangled constants of the human experience, and how distinguishing and labelling them is ultimately just a silly thing we do to make sense of the world. Really beautiful meta art written in such a human way I’m in loove.
I clicked on this video thinking it was a comedy club type thing. Long story short, I’m crying and I didn’t ask for this.
"How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we didnt become?"
oh boy. that hit.
This poem hits me right where it hurts but also his enunciation makes it so much better
“But this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever”
Damn
"I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment" is such a short and impactful line.
it’s really flooring how even entire songs can sound like their pining for an ex, when really they’re about yearning for a loved one lost to suicide 🙁
i remember when i watched him perform the same poem long ago, i kept replaying it as if it was my favourite song. he improved it, of course, but i cant believe how passionate he still is... this is incredible.
I watched this video 5 years ago when I was a suicidal 17 year old, hoping for a better future. I wept and wept because I never heard something more relatable. Here I am now, 23, and I am just now coming to grasp the significance of each line as I sit here...finally ready to end my life. I tried, Shania. I tried for you. I never gave up, but I cannot handle living anymore. Thank you for this video.
i hope ur still here and u find the beauty and love owed to u that makes it worth staying for
I don't know who you are but I hope so badly that you are still here..
i come back to this poem all the time. it's one of my favorites. still so meaningful to me to this day in 2021
This poem is a permanent resident in my head
I still come back to this video years later. I love it so much
I look at him before the video and I think, "a normal man." Then I hear him speak and it's like someone understands me. Poetry truly does breed kinship. I hope people find refuge in this poem.
ive listened to this countless times and every single time I either tear up or start crying. No matter how many times I listen to it.
My friend tried to commit suicide yesterday, she hung herself and woke up on the floor...I got the messages at 12am and I cried. She is alive.
I like the way he uses his voice: pausing in the right moments to make some things slightly highlighted, talking faster to build some tension... I like it a lot. This got me into poetry a long time ago :)
“I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn’t say until it’s too late” that hit me so hard
9 years later and I still come to this video daily, it's helped me since I was 14 💗
The whole time I was just listening and certain things would make me tilt my head and think a little and then #14 really took my breath away.
“how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become” that hit me like a train because it feels so real and relatable.
This gives me chills... "she would apologize in the middle of conversations"....dang...
I don’t know why I keep watching this. I cry every time. These lines hit home. One of the few poems I wish were my own.
oh my goodness, I guess what hurts the most is that I can identify with all of these quotes.
Why do I come back and watch this randomly once every several months? Shit just fucks me up, No matter how good or bad my life is doing.
doc is so awesome, how can someone evoke this much emotion in every presentation? i love this dude
I was crying by #4... I never comment on RUclips videos, but for some reason, this one really stood out to and touched me. I'd have tried to give this guy a hug for sure.
Every couple weeks I come back to this masterpiece to feel my heart getting ripped out of my chest. I realized some time ago that it helps me reflecting how bad I really feel, because I interpret more and more parts as suicide notes if I'm having a hard time but when everything seems to be alright it feels like a bunch of love letters
"I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all of the things we didnt say until it was too late" I am,,, breathless with how much that hurt in my chest and resonates with me
The crowd's reaction is painfully underwhelming, this is an absolute masterpiece. But maybe that is because I viewed it from a suicide note's perspective. This was intense, articulate, so well-put and painful. This man is a phenomenal poet, sharp, expressive and sometimes absolutely hilarious. I recommend that you listen to his other pieces (Punny human for example) if you enjoyed this one.
To anyone who needs to hear it, hang in there, you are worthy.
I remember when I first found this, I watched it over and over, trying to figure out which ones were which, telling myself as a suicidal person I could tell, and being so sure of myself. I now watch this year's later no long suicidal, and just experience the beauty of this, silently thanking it for all it helped me through in the background.
dude "im haunting my own apartment." got me
2:53. “How do we forgive ourselves for all the thing we did not become?”
I felt that.
They're so personal and the connections to each emotion can be so familiar and relatable.
"I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment." The detail that their thoughts have gone into, how they've turned over and considered every possible thought.
"Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I don't know what else to do next." How drastically the mood of that sentence can switch depending in which situation you read it. In a love letter it's so light-hearted and pure and in a suicide note it's heavy, suken- almost tired but desperate, to me.
"I bought the kind of crackers you eat. They're in the hall cupboard." Again, the obsessive thinking over every detail, but I also just love how personal and tailored it is. It's not appealing to a wide audience, it's for the sender and the recipient's eyes only.
"Don't freak out" I just cant get over the contrast. In one way it's exciting and pure and in the other there's no other way to describe it but breaking. Heart, soul- all of it, just breaking.
This is just so beautiful.
A few of these did slip past me tho. I think I kind of get number 14 but I'm at a loss for number 12, if anyone could explain their idea of it that'd be rad :)
"12. My father always told the same joke but I can't remember the punchline" My interpretation of this line is that he has lost one of the most memorable memories of his father (sad side) or that he was so caught up in other thoughts (such as the person they were in love with) that the joke never seemed to stick with them.
The comment section felt like a warm hug, like a support group of strangers, thousands of us who are watching the same piece of art but experiencing and perceiving it differently, it sunk my heart and yet made me smile, we're all doomed but in this together, aren't we?
1. Don't freak out.
2. We both know this have been coming for a long time.
3. I've been staying awake at night wondering if i should tell you.
4. I bought the kind of crackers you can eat. They are in the hall cupboard.
5. Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I do not know what else to do next.
6. I always imagined this would happen without warning, like suddenly on an ocean cliff side but this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever.
7. I've just been too afraid for too long.
8. I came home on Tuesday and found all of the chairs that I own stacked in a tower in the center of my kitchen. I don't know how long they had been like that but it can only be me that did it. It's the kind of thing a ghost might do to prove to the living that he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment.
9. My grandmother was still alive when I was 5 years old and she asked me to check and see if the iron was hot enough yet so I pressed my hand against it and it was red and screaming for hours. 25 years later, she would still sometimes apologize in the middle of conversations, "I feel so bad about making you touch the iron" she'd say, as though it had just happened. I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late. But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it?
10. I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment.
11. I wonder how many likes this will get on Facebook.
12. My dad always used to tell the same joke but I can't remember the punchline.
13. I was 8 years old and it took 3 weeks (3 8 yr old weeks, imagine) to gather everything that I would need to be Batman. Rope, boomerang, a Mardi Gras mask with the beads cut off. I couldn't find a cave near my house, so I buried them all in a bundle under the ivy. For years after, I tried to find that spot again. The ivy grew too fast. I searched in so many spots. It seemed impossible that I had missed one. But I never found it. How can something be there, and then not be there? How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?
14. I never had the courage to buy bright green sheets. I wanted them, but thought they were too brash, even with no one but me to see them. I bought a set yesterday and put them on the bed. I knew that you would like them.