I tell people I have a knock knock joke but they have to start it, they go knock knock, I go who’s there, and then there’s 5 seconds of awkward silence. it’s brilliant
I like to say “curse you” to people that sneeze in public. Most of the time they thank you then stop and have a confused look on they’re face about actually happened
When I was in 9th grade in 1999-2000 Era, my friend and I (who were already on our principles 'bad list', simply for the way we dressed) made a plan, I brought in a crinkled paper bag with some "stuff" in it... right by the principle, I pretend I don't know he's there, and I tell my friend "hey, I got the stuff".. she does a "shhhhh" as we move off in the corner, suspiciously shifting our eyes before peering into the small paper lunch/liquor bag -- we're trying to be obviously suspicious to see what our principle does, because he already accused us of smoking cigarettes when we didn't smoke, lol, but yeah.. principle grabs the bag from us, assuming he'd catch us in the act of something illegal, but as he observes the contraband, it was just a bag full of play-doh and crayons. Sounds ridiculous saying it out loud, but this was hilarious to us at the time, especially since this was a time before smart phones and social media.
In October, I will wish people a happy St. Patricks Day. In July, I might say Happy Halloween. Monday afternoon? Have a good weekend. And my coup de gras... Any day of the week or any time of year I'll end a conversation with, "Happy Alabama."
When a co worker has a wireless mouse that has a receiver that can pair with more than one device, pair it to a spare mouse when he is away. Then keep the spare mouse in a drawer, and occasionally move it. Smarter ones will look for an additional mouse receiver plugged into their computer, but rarely understand you paired to their existing mouse receiver.
@DADBODGOALS - When I was in my early teens, some pals and I would put on suits, and hang around outside the Registrar's office, quietly joining in as many wedding group photos as possible. 50+ years later, I still get a laugh thinking about anniversary parties, with people dragging out the album, and saying "who the hell are those three boys? Are they your cousin's kids, or my cousin's?"
When I was 27 I bought my first new car, a black Chevy Impala. My brother and I have identical black suits. We rolled up to the security gate of the local packing plant during a shift change wearing those suits, sunglasses, and I flash my old college ID. About 10 minutes later a hundred "totally not illegal immigrants" go flooding out the side of the plant. Lol, thought we were immigration.
One time, I and a colleague spoke our native languages to mess with our other colleagues. He spoke Amharic, and I spoke French, and we pretended to have a conversation. Some were like, "Are you guys talking about me?" 😂😂🤣
Every time someone goes to give me a high five I like to fist bump the high five and if they want a fist bump I high five the fist bump ✋👊 and I do it very enthusiastically like there’s nothing weird about it. I’ve done that since middle school because I did it on accident then just went with it from then on 😂 confuses people to no end the first few times but everyone that knows me knows I do that on purpose now lol I also like to prop up on the couch next to my boyfriend who I live with and ask “Come here often?” With a few eyebrow raises 😂
I have an unusual name and I’ve stopped correcting people when they get it wrong. I had a librarian in school that called me ‘Christy’ for 3 years. My name isn’t Christy. There’s an acquaintance who currently thinks my name is ‘Cher.’ It isn’t. Just a couple of examples. I just got tired of wasting my time correcting people that I may or may not ever see again.
I feel for you. Everyone struggles with my last name and how to spell it. On my email it's Traverse, not Traverso, to make it easier, but it just made things worse.
not very subtle, but mid conversation scream "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" and run away. also, i do the "well you know waht they say" thing with my friends. its a stupid inside joke
This reminded me of one of my dad's favorite jokes about a bus driver and a bum on a rainy day, every time a lady would get on the bus the driver would say "tickle your arse with a feather?" and they'd ask what he said and he'd state clearly "particularly nasty weather", after a while the bum wants in on the fun and the driver agrees, the next lady gets on the bus and the bum excitedly yells in her face "ram a feather up your ass!"
A sneeze is an 8th of an orgasm according to an old wives tale so after multiple sneezes just tell them it’s impolite to have that much fun in front of people and not at least invite them to join.
When dealing with a telemarketer or a scammer: That's T as in Tsunami K as in Knight A as in Are Y as in You S as in Sea H as in Hour J as in Jalapeno ... W as in wrong But wrong is spelled with a W. I know, that's why it's wrong!
Back when I was in school, any time someone in my class got up and left the classroom for any reason I would take their pencil and put it back on their binder.
If you work somewhere with communal coffee its hilarious to get there early and brew up a pot of decaf. Even better is to replace the other coffee with decaf coffee in the regular coffee tins. Ive caused nearly an entire clinic to have chronic headaches for a week. (From caffeine withdrawal)
Me and my Dad have this thing where whenever my Grandma is away (my Dad has to water the plants for her when she’s on holiday etc.) we hide gnomes in her garden. Once we hid one on her roof!
Ah, the desktop thing made the list. It's a classic, but there's more: - rotate the picture before setting it as the wallpaper. Then rotate the screen in the graphics settings. Now the mouse moves wrong. - take their wallpaper. Make 100 or so copies of the file, all in the same folder. Modify 1 copy to make it creepy/silly (photoshop it to give people evil grins and false mustaches). Now set the folder as the wallpaper source so it randomly changes the wp and set the timer for new wallpaper pretty low. 10s or so. It'll look normal most of the time, then turn weird for a moment randomly.
21:00 I used to do something similar at home, though I think what I did might not work well in English because I don’t think questions are often asked that way, it’s basically do you want to clean the table? No. I’d still like you to….. but I’ll do it.😂
I like saying no or refusing to do something people ask me to do, but then do what they asked me to. like: "Can you get my phone?" "no, you get it" *grabs their phone and gives it to them*
Telemarketing calls here often used to ask if "Gary Gilmore" was available. I can only assume that our phone number had been recycled, as that's neither my name nor that of the previous resident, who'd been here for well over 20 years. Anyway, as Gary Gilmore is a famously dead murderer who was executed back in the '70s, one day I simply said "Gary Gilmore is dead," rather than "No, there's nobody of that name here." So now, that's what I always say, in a strangulated, anguished wail, regardless of what they ask.
I like to troll the Microsoft scammers by telling em I run a obsolete Bandai pippin. It was apples attempt at an internet capable game console in 1995.
best friend is indigenous Canadian (we call him the apple, red on the outside white on the inside) we get him travel size listerine and scope bottles and hide them around the house.
I tell people I have a knock knock joke but they have to start it, they go knock knock, I go who’s there, and then there’s 5 seconds of awkward silence. it’s brilliant
I like to say “curse you” to people that sneeze in public. Most of the time they thank you then stop and have a confused look on they’re face about actually happened
Someone: "Sneezes"
You: "Curse you"
Them: "ደህና አመሰግናለሁ የኔ ደግ ሰው"
I usually say damn you
🤣🤣
h pop poppp op pop o pop p poppop ok m with no e i situation that jiojo ee qqqq uyeyyrrrryrettteèejsrhtreweegxcp
@@FatherOFCrimzon I was not expecting that to actually translate good joke bro✌️
I literally tell people,
“Happy Christmas and a Merry New year” always gets them
When I was in 9th grade in 1999-2000 Era, my friend and I (who were already on our principles 'bad list', simply for the way we dressed) made a plan, I brought in a crinkled paper bag with some "stuff" in it... right by the principle, I pretend I don't know he's there, and I tell my friend "hey, I got the stuff".. she does a "shhhhh" as we move off in the corner, suspiciously shifting our eyes before peering into the small paper lunch/liquor bag -- we're trying to be obviously suspicious to see what our principle does, because he already accused us of smoking cigarettes when we didn't smoke, lol, but yeah.. principle grabs the bag from us, assuming he'd catch us in the act of something illegal, but as he observes the contraband, it was just a bag full of play-doh and crayons. Sounds ridiculous saying it out loud, but this was hilarious to us at the time, especially since this was a time before smart phones and social media.
In October, I will wish people a happy St. Patricks Day. In July, I might say Happy Halloween. Monday afternoon? Have a good weekend. And my coup de gras... Any day of the week or any time of year I'll end a conversation with, "Happy Alabama."
This man's IQ exceeds human comprehension.
Nothing beats dressing like Santa on Halloween and wishes people a happy Easter or mother's day.
Happy Alabama to you as well kind stranger
Absolutely, and "Happy Christmas" to all and to all a good day?
-Do you need anything?
-OK.
Those are fighting words
That's a breach of 17 International peace treaties.
Wordxs?
what r?
R u on something? U get mad over ok?
The Gnome Smuggler 😂
When a co worker has a wireless mouse that has a receiver that can pair with more than one device, pair it to a spare mouse when he is away. Then keep the spare mouse in a drawer, and occasionally move it. Smarter ones will look for an additional mouse receiver plugged into their computer, but rarely understand you paired to their existing mouse receiver.
@DADBODGOALS - When I was in my early teens, some pals and I would put on suits, and hang around outside the Registrar's office, quietly joining in as many wedding group photos as possible. 50+ years later, I still get a laugh thinking about anniversary parties, with people dragging out the album, and saying "who the hell are those three boys? Are they your cousin's kids, or my cousin's?"
When I was 27 I bought my first new car, a black Chevy Impala. My brother and I have identical black suits. We rolled up to the security gate of the local packing plant during a shift change wearing those suits, sunglasses, and I flash my old college ID. About 10 minutes later a hundred "totally not illegal immigrants" go flooding out the side of the plant. Lol, thought we were immigration.
One time, I and a colleague spoke our native languages to mess with our other colleagues. He spoke Amharic, and I spoke French, and we pretended to have a conversation. Some were like, "Are you guys talking about me?" 😂😂🤣
Every time someone goes to give me a high five I like to fist bump the high five and if they want a fist bump I high five the fist bump ✋👊 and I do it very enthusiastically like there’s nothing weird about it. I’ve done that since middle school because I did it on accident then just went with it from then on 😂 confuses people to no end the first few times but everyone that knows me knows I do that on purpose now lol I also like to prop up on the couch next to my boyfriend who I live with and ask “Come here often?” With a few eyebrow raises 😂
Imma say "Bless you" when i hear someone fart now. XD
The holy toot
@6:00 "A Noble spirit embiggins the smallest man." It's a perfectly croppulant word.
I have an unusual name and I’ve stopped correcting people when they get it wrong. I had a librarian in school that called me ‘Christy’ for 3 years. My name isn’t Christy. There’s an acquaintance who currently thinks my name is ‘Cher.’ It isn’t. Just a couple of examples. I just got tired of wasting my time correcting people that I may or may not ever see again.
I feel for you. Everyone struggles with my last name and how to spell it. On my email it's Traverse, not Traverso, to make it easier, but it just made things worse.
@@beef_noodles it gets to a certain point & what do you say? Oh well, too late now. 🤣
not very subtle, but mid conversation scream "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" and run away. also, i do the "well you know waht they say" thing with my friends. its a stupid inside joke
Everybody gangsta until you yell get out of my head and they suddenly disappear into thin air.
This reminded me of one of my dad's favorite jokes about a bus driver and a bum on a rainy day, every time a lady would get on the bus the driver would say "tickle your arse with a feather?" and they'd ask what he said and he'd state clearly "particularly nasty weather", after a while the bum wants in on the fun and the driver agrees, the next lady gets on the bus and the bum excitedly yells in her face "ram a feather up your ass!"
Sneezing fits are fun...
Bless you.
Bless you.
Bless you.
One more time and I will damn you!!
Some say if you were to say "bless you" 7 times into the mirror, Jesus Christ suddenly appears and will...
Thundercats! Thundercats!!
A sneeze is an 8th of an orgasm according to an old wives tale so after multiple sneezes just tell them it’s impolite to have that much fun in front of people and not at least invite them to join.
It bothers me that you didnt finish.
When dealing with a telemarketer or a scammer:
That's T as in Tsunami
K as in Knight
A as in Are
Y as in You
S as in Sea
H as in Hour
J as in Jalapeno ...
W as in wrong But wrong is spelled with a W. I know, that's why it's wrong!
Yeah, but your nonsense doesn't make an actual word. I just tell them I'm someone famous whom any American would know I am not.
@@EmeraldEyesBibleSecrets I was trying to figure out where the OP was going with that.
One time i did notice that 2 of me bosses had the same wireless pc mouses so i switched them and it was hilarious 😂
A person approves of a turtle approving of this video
A 4th dimensional Being approves a person approving a turtle approving this video.
a dog approves of a 4th dimensional being approving of a person approving a turtle approving this video
i always say good morning no matter the time of day
Back when I was in school, any time someone in my class got up and left the classroom for any reason I would take their pencil and put it back on their binder.
7:00 99% of these r gaslighting
If you work somewhere with communal coffee its hilarious to get there early and brew up a pot of decaf. Even better is to replace the other coffee with decaf coffee in the regular coffee tins. Ive caused nearly an entire clinic to have chronic headaches for a week. (From caffeine withdrawal)
Me and my Dad have this thing where whenever my Grandma is away (my Dad has to water the plants for her when she’s on holiday etc.) we hide gnomes in her garden. Once we hid one on her roof!
We also sign her up to random newsletters
Ah, the desktop thing made the list. It's a classic, but there's more:
- rotate the picture before setting it as the wallpaper. Then rotate the screen in the graphics settings.
Now the mouse moves wrong.
- take their wallpaper. Make 100 or so copies of the file, all in the same folder. Modify 1 copy to make it creepy/silly (photoshop it to give people evil grins and false mustaches). Now set the folder as the wallpaper source so it randomly changes the wp and set the timer for new wallpaper pretty low. 10s or so. It'll look normal most of the time, then turn weird for a moment randomly.
21:00 I used to do something similar at home, though I think what I did might not work well in English because I don’t think questions are often asked that way, it’s basically do you want to clean the table? No. I’d still like you to….. but I’ll do it.😂
That applies in English too. 😄
Writing fake stories on Reddit to see if people would believe them.
20:00 that guy said he was reposting comments and then reposted a comment💀💀I think he did subtly fuck with me
I like saying no or refusing to do something people ask me to do, but then do what they asked me to. like:
"Can you get my phone?"
"no, you get it"
*grabs their phone and gives it to them*
Telemarketing calls here often used to ask if "Gary Gilmore" was available. I can only assume that our phone number had been recycled, as that's neither my name nor that of the previous resident, who'd been here for well over 20 years.
Anyway, as Gary Gilmore is a famously dead murderer who was executed back in the '70s, one day I simply said "Gary Gilmore is dead," rather than "No, there's nobody of that name here."
So now, that's what I always say, in a strangulated, anguished wail, regardless of what they ask.
When I look at this channel I see a missed opportunity to call yourself sir readsalot.
I like to troll the Microsoft scammers by telling em I run a obsolete Bandai pippin. It was apples attempt at an internet capable game console in 1995.
The dude who made new words
Like what?
subtly mess with you lobot jon? Palobot dha para makuhaan imung ka inseccure 😂😂😂😂
Sometimes, all day, I'll answer every question I'm asked with "I have a penis"
A turtle approves of this video
Stupid bot
Yes
22:09 Sign it as "God" or "J.C." to really mess with them.
10:32 Elvis gad a version of Are You Lonesome Tonight where he did this, & couldn’t not laugh for most of the rest of the song.
LOL I saw that clip.
best friend is indigenous Canadian (we call him the apple, red on the outside white on the inside) we get him travel size listerine and scope bottles and hide them around the house.
I once turned the pictures hanging on my sister’s wall in her hall and bathroom upside down, took her about a day to notice it.
13:45
and let them hear the ping just before you hang up xD
Giving free window cleaner for car behind is always nice. Wtf ya talking about ö . Ö
The mustard mayhem wu wu wu
please explain how cough syrup had anything to do with the content of the video
Sugar in someone's Fuel Tank. Removing Stop Signs.
imagine being that mentally gone bonkers that you hate little dudes prank calling while u work in a boring poo hole
Do you have any idea how hard it is to catch your SIL eating in every picture?
One time i did notice that 2 of me bosses had the same pc mauses so i switched them and it was hilarious 😂
Go into an elevator and back to the door
last comment on the video is my soul mate
I ship it.
Totally agree, Danielle.
The last one was just self-centered and acting childish though.
I have my phone roku remote app, and make them think somethings wrong or they sat on it.
Stirfriday
🦆
🦆
🦆
🪿
I break into people's homes and steal all the reverse, skip , draw 2 and 4 cards from their uno deck.
😾
May as well just use playing cards at that point.