You live in the most conservative area of Germany. They are backwards in many ways, but especially when it comes to children and womens rights/opportunities. Ask around how many people in the "Schwarzwald" were hit by there parents and how many parents still hit their own children. Ask them, they will tell you, that something like ADHD does not exist, but the force of esotheric crystals and other nonsense. You simply live by our kind hillbillies.
Then send your son to Gesamtschule, he can get Abitur there (Or at least the qualification), and the teachers are a little more attentive towards special need kids (or they were at my school). Many of these "more special" kids made their Abitur.
Yes! Bereicherung it is. It's wonderful to have such considerate, moderate (in a positive way, zurückhaltend) and outspoken people like you in our Gemeinschaft ❤
@dadrising6464 Not to the same degree. I won't deny the problems a rise of the AfD brings to our society, but a) hopefully they have reached their peak and b) there is strong resistance against them from the rest of us Germans. (aka about 75% of the voters).
@dadrising6464 Stop watching FOX News. A major problem is the rise of the extreme right in Germany, which is now openly supported by your government. This means that the US is once again part of the problem.
If you're new to Germany and are in need of a friend, just approach someone you like and ask them for advice or help and you'll be surprised how quick most of us open up. We are basically the introverted of the world somehow. But usually we love to help.
@ChrisWatonek Nö. Warum? Kannst auch "Kokosnuss" nehmen, wenn Dir ne Walnuß nicht hart genug ist. Und obwohl sich das witzig anhört, ist ein Körnchen Wahrheit drin. Wie in jedem Witz.
As an example for cold Germans: Today, after my wife brought the kid to school, the car didn't start. As always, after bad comes worse; the phone battery was empty. So she went to the nearest house and rang there (~8:30 am) to ask if she could phone the ADAC from there. In summary, while she waited for the man in yellow for two hours, she was entertained with coffee, homemade cookies, and conversation from two elderly individuals who invited her to their "Gute Stube". After the car was usable again, my wife went to get them a card and some Belgian chocolate as a thank you. So no, Germans are neither cold nor rude in general. As everywhere there are all kinds of people here and in general we are as nice as every other Volksstamm out there.
I have another one. 8:30 reminds me of what happened to me last summer, but it was in the evening. I was pushing my MTB up a very steep vineyard and took my gloves off to take a picture of the landscape. Then I was so deep in thoughts that i completely forgot them. At the top of the vineyards i took more pictures and suddenly 'where are my gloves?' Then is saw a pair (i guess around 70 years of age) coming up the hill with their dog. I said 'Guten Abend' and asked if they have seen gloves on the road a few 100 meters down the hill. They said no, they have driven most of the way up the hill and they have seen nothing. I had 2 ideas where I either had forgotten or lost them. Looked at the spot where I thought I could have lost them and in the meantime the two walked back to their car and drove away. Then i got on my bike and rode down the hill. I wasn't even half way down the hill when a car came up the hill and out of the passenger window i saw someone waving with my gloves. They could have ignored them, thinking 'he's coming down the hill anyways, why should we bother?' Nope, a few minutes before 9pm they took the time to bring me my gloves...
@PG-nf9wx exactly, that's what we are expecting. If someone doesn't ask then we think he/she wants to keep trying without help. Of course there are exceptions, it's different when one can for example clearly see that someone is completely overtaxed. -like the woman that was chasing her dog around the village lake last summer. After half a lap I hopped on my MTB and started blocking the dog's way because i saw that she had ZERO chance to catch him without help. Sometimes we are just watching, ready to help, waiting for the person to ask while 'thinking if he/she doesn't want help then it's not my problem'. -because all of us know, if a German wants help then he WILL ask.
We moved to Germany nearly 4 years ago and enjoy SO much about it here. Our kids education is the only thing that keeps us up at night… ALL my kids have ADHD and Dsylexia. It took us near two years to get any help for them and by that point the oldest two were already stuck in Mittelschule. Now that they have better but far from perfect German skills they are bored, but have decided to just do more activities. My oldest daughter volunteers, is the first schule Sprecherin, a first aid responder for her school on top of her music and sport activities. So all good things. But it’s frustrating watching the way people react to hearing she’s at a Mittelschule. We had to get her IQ tested and she’s the opposite of stupid. All this is say, I’m sorry there was a struggle with your son. I hope you keep moving in a positive direction. ❤
Thats just the american point of view...fake smiles and friendlyness is seen as impolite in germany while honesty is seen as polite...so from our point of view we could also say that germans are too polite to be not honest while americans are too impolite to be honest. Andere länder, andere sitten🤷♂️
@Hirnie-r1z So where does this put Asian cultures? I live in Thailand and travel all over East Asia and being direct and upfront is considered a big No-No-No. Being polite is being indirect.
Idk where it puts any culture...i was just pointing out that there are different ways of looking at it and that you shouldnt only look at the american point of view. There are places in the world where being inhonest is seen as rude and other places where being honest is rude. I personally will always appreciate a true insult more than a fake smile.
I can vouch for that. People didn’t know what to think of me until they got to know me. My co-workers used to say when someone wanted to ask me a question: if you want an honest answer ask Heike, if you want a nice one don’t bother! However, they really started to appreciate my honesty.
I’ve started running in the mantra of you have mailbox friends, porch friends, and living room friends. They all have vary degrees of trust and as you get further into your imagined house the criteria becomes much more selective, and don’t be afraid to relegate folks to less intimate levels or drop them all together.
I think everybody to the north or east of Germany acts this way. Be it my Scandinavian or Slavic colleagues, they all prefer honest, direct communication and don't call everybody they know "a friend". So not every foreigner will run into this problem.
@rainerbernhardt6193 Years ago, I bought a Corvette in Florida, drove around the country for four weeks, and then shipped the car to Germany. When I sat in the office with the salesman, with whom I had previously only exchanged a few emails, he introduced me to his colleagues as “my friend from Germany.” That's the American mentality.
To think if she lived in Austria. She would likely never become Austrian. Kind of sad really. Effectively banning dual citizenship by naturalisation leaves internationals there as foreigners for life in many cases (especially as it's so expensive as well). I was speaking to a old lady a couple of weeks ago who had lived in Graz for 70+ years, she even grew up in Graz and she still wasn't Austrian.
@davedavids57 I think she would become Austrian because the US is one of the very few countries that taxes you even when you live abroad. So I think she would give up her US citizenship, not because of personal reasons but financial reasons.
@Andreas-pj6np Not really the USA and most countries have a double taxation agreement. So if you pay Austrian tax you don't have to pay tax in the States (although you do have to do a tax return). Added to that to even qualify for Austrian naturalisation they would have to live in Austria for 10 years and as a family have 2,400 euro a month left after all tax, rent and bills (for at least three years prior to naturalisation). Most families don't have a spare 29,000 euros a year after bills. Added to that you would have to pay $5,000 to renounce US citizenship and you would never be able to live or work in the USA again. Even visiting may be difficult.
I worked with a German customer for a year. We got on well and after that year he proposed that we move from "Sie" to "du". That was a major step. It took a while to make the contact but when I got mononucleosis NONE of my own colleagues checked in on me but he did. Germans do not lightly engage in friendship but when they engage it is wholeheartedly.
Mein Mutter sagte: "Man muss sich mein "Du" erst verdienen". Das amerikanische lessige "You" wird von Deutschen unerfahren im Umgang mit Nordamerikanern bzw Angelsachsen oft als "Freundschaftsangebot" missinterpretiert. Auch die unverbindliche Essenseinladung 😅 der neuen Nachbarn oft seitens freundlicher American ausgesprochen kann dazu führen, dass sie die Crowds oft gar nicht mehr los werden und ständig in ihrem Wohnzimmer sitzen haben....😅
@christophgeorgschmidt1590 Krauts! Nicht 'crowds', Christoph Georg Schmidt! Geburtsdatum ist auch falsch! Du bist niemals 1590 geboren! Ich verlange einen Auszug aus dem Geburtenregister als Gegenbeweis! 😫 Im Ernst aber: Kraut ist eines der wenigen deutschen Worte, dass ins Englische übernommen wurde. So wie Kindergarten, Angst oder Schadenfreude. Wie man ja in solchen Situationen dann gerne sagt: "Again what learned." 😜
Germans can be very territorial. My grandfather married my grandmother and move to her village. He was considered an out of towner even though he came from another village about 7 miles away. It did not matter he was still Upper Franconian like them.... the local guys never really welcomed him for decades and decades despite my grandfather being a great handyman who was frequently hired for home remodeling and metal work jobs.
@bertoverweel6588 It was referred to the word "landsmann" in Germany. But it was used strictly as a regional term that went a long way for lasting friendship and comradery that was unwritten.
@ericscottstevens My father married my mom in 1965 two months before my birth. She came literally "from the other side (north) of the wupper valley" and was never really accepted. This sometimes had religious background, catholic vs. protestant vs calvinistic/reformiert. back in the last century, it was a great thing to get involved with someone from the other side of church.
@blechgewitter450 My example for my Grandparents was the Steigerwald in Upper Franconia which is predominantly Catholic, I think another factor may have been the war which I recently discovered from the German War Graves commission (Volksbund Deutsche Kriegsgräberfürsorge e.V.) about 25 men from the village died fighting in Russia. Yet my Grandfather made it back as as a Stegaurach native near Bamberg. He may have been seen as a migrant / supplant. So they may have had that resentment about in the post war reconstruction.
As a subscriber since the "Black Forest Family" days of your channel, I love watching the progression of your integration into German society and the effort and analysis that you put into every video. Your work is always thought provoking, well researched, and valuable to your audience. Thank you for sharing your life and experience with us!
@TypeAshton what Mike said. Und er ist definitiv nicht der einzige! Deine sehr ausgewogene Sichtweise ist etwas, das wir heute dringender brauchen, denn je - vielen Dank dafür!
no way, that was them? :o I did watch these BFF videos years ago - algorithm somehow brought this channel to me 🙂 thats maybe why it felt somewhat familiar. ^^
You want to find friends in Germany? Become a member in a "Verein" (Club). You like Tennis, Basketball, Soccer? Go and play in a Verein. You like gardening, dogs, collecting stamps, woodworking and so on? Become a member of a Verein!
Herzlich willkommen! Ich habe hier schon öfter geschrieben, dass ich hier so viel über mein Land gelernt habe und ich allen, die immer meckern, diesen Kanal empfehle!
..., plus, it's a hard, usually constant struggle to do things differently beyond said label, and people tend to reallocate you to the label ("gotcha"). Not exactky, pleasant, even when the initial labeling was correct: It leaves but minimsl room for change ("But you always did it this way"). The complete word's concept is worth learning, since it's absolutely common, very precise, and handy.
I think in Germany it isn't as bad, but I felt the American culture has that very mich ingrained. In high school: those are the footballers, those are the cheerleaders, those are the nerds etc. We can see it in movies, but in my high school, that's exactly how it was. Really strange. In Germany that was not the case.
Deutschland ist nicht immer einfach, wir sind direkt aber haben einen Hang zur Bürokratie um es kompliziert zu machen 😂 Wir meckern gerne, weil wir wissen es kann besser gemacht werden. Natürlich muss man auch hier manchmal kämpfen um das was man braucht. Aber insgesamt sind wir doch ein netter, zusammengewürfelter Haufen. 😊
"Wir meckern gerne, weil wir wissen es kann besser gemacht werden." Wenn es denn wenigstens so wäre. Viele meckern auch nur rum weil es in ihrer DNA liegt bei allem erst einmal nach dem Haar in der Suppe zu suchen selbst wenn es das überhaupt nicht gibt und alles besser zu wissen.
@harrydehnhardt5092 Ich denke die meisten meckern, weil sie mit ihrem Leben im Grunde genommen unzufrieden sind. Wie man sich eben in einer zutiefst ungerechten stressbeladenen Gesellschaft fühlt.
The translation of "Wir werden ihn nicht in eine Schublade stecken" , "we wont put him in a drawer" means something like we won't put him in a categorie. Basically we won't prejudge him and will give him a chance to show his potential. It's based on a concept called "Schubladendenken" which translates to "drawer thinking" but basically means the same as "pigeonholing".
I‘m German. But my school days started out in a kindergarden in Endicott, NY. After three weeks of kindergarden, they also told my parents: „Sorry, we can‘t do much more for your son. Let‘s see how he does in first grade.“ Some of the best days in my life began. I got to learn to read and write with Dr. Seuss, and take care of our class pet Gerbil. My parents took me and my sis to Niagara Falls, Cape Canaveral, Disney Land - you name it. Then my Grandma got sick and we had to return to Germany - where I got my first culture shock. I‘m a left hander, and I was allowed to write with my favored hand. Not so in Germany. I was forced to write with my right hand. In hindsight it didn‘t hurt, because today I‘m better at martial arts, playing instruments and even hand writing, but back then it wasn‘t that much fun. Half a year later we went back to the States - this time on the USS United States, a large passenger ship. I met my first girl friend, a diplomats daughter that shared my love for the two cinemas on board. Because the sea was rough, most of the time we were the only ones watching Disney‘s „The Sword in the Stone“ or „The Three Stooges“ in the first or second class theaters. We were also welcomed on the bridge by the captain. If we didn‘t show up after breakfast, he had someone come get us. The same thing happened when we took a plane to cross the ocean. I remember flying into O‘Hare on the lap of the pilot of the 707. Unthinkable today. My dad worked in Armonk and Kingston. So we got a house in Woodstock. Library Lane 10. I looked forward to going to school each and every day. We had music and art classes every day. With real musicians and artists. Bob Dylan showed me how to play guitar. His friends let me play on their instruments. When my dad made his PPL, I was allowed to come along. I made my first solo flight on a Cessna when I was 13 years old. Unthinkable today. Returning to Germany, I had to skip two school classes, because in Germany they had two years of „Kurzschuljahre“ where they only had half a year to learn what otherwise took a whole year. The idea was to start classes at the same time other countries did. That was the worst time in my life. Creativity wasn‘t valued at all. You had to be punctual and formally correct, not creative and full of ideas. My sister and me wanted to go back to the US so badly, but we couldn‘t. School was hell. We missed our friends and neighbors. We missed the understanding and friendly environment the US gave us at the time. But somehow we survived. Mom and Dad built a house with a swimming pool, american style fireplace and bedrooms like we were used to. I started to play several instruments and had a school band. Somehow I made peace with my german teachers, even though I still remember their cruelties. Over time things changed in Woodstock. Every time we came to visit, someone else was gone. Even Bob Dylan had sold his house on the Turnpike for $250,000. The potholes in the roads in Kingston and the holes in the roof of the Holiday Inn were testament to the de-industrialisation and decline of the entire region. I was on top of one of the two towers three days before 9/11. I was there on my way back after my Mom had died and was buried in Lee‘s Summit, MO. 9/11 changed a lot. I even think it paved the way for some of what is going on today. We had to fly a certain amount of hours and make 15 outside landings to keep the PPL in Germany. When the weather was bad at takeoff, it was always good when we decided to fly to Freiburg. Even though I almost crash landed on the steel reenforced grass landing field in Freiburg, I loved going there time after time. So I decided to study there. Of course, I started a band there to play at Mensa parties. After 35 years as an employee of the Albert-Ludwigs-Universität and 15 more as my own boss, I still play in three different bands. And I pass Ashton‘s and Jonathan‘s home almost once every week (in the tunnel) to practice in Kollnau. ✨😎 🎸 I really hope Ashton‘s kids can adapt to Germany’s rigid and outdated school system. I still give classes at a University Clinic, so I know what it does to our students (and my grand children). But I truly hope they‘ll find their way through this - just as I hope the US citizens will find their way through that terrible mess they‘re in right now.
Well from what you tell, you are on the older side (71 or 72y) and your experiences with German schools happened many, many decades ago. The Kurzschuljahre were in 1966/67. I can assure you that the system and styles of teaching changed a lot since then.
@susanneS371 you’re absolutely right. I‘m old. And I did observe that the „styles of teaching“ have obviously changed dramatically. Not one of my students can write correctly. Some make a mistake in every other sentence, but most of them make two mistakes in every sentence. And they have almost no „Medienkompetenz“. They can post videos on Instagram, but they have no idea how to illustrate a „Referat“ or do a proper „Recherche“. What they learn about music is a joke. Most of them don‘t even know what a „Quintenzirkel“ is and what you can do with it. They also excel in biology. Not one with „Abitur“ knew how many valves a human heart has. And don‘t get me started with math and physics. 😄
What Terrible Mess we're in....what the hell are you talking, my Socialist Friend?? We're doing just FINE, DUDE...I would worry more about Germany, I'm sure you have enough to worry about then to get involved in our Country. Don't believe all the Media Bullshit if I were you...Copy that Bud!!
i love watching your videos... they are always so well researched, at times very personal.... thanks for all the efford.... for me, it means laying back and get some content of high quality...
Oh Ashton, you know us well enough now to not sugarcoat it how difficult it is to make friends here. We know that and we can take it. We like that honesty! 🙂
Establishing genuine friendships for a Berliner in the United Kingdom, or potentially in the United States as well, proves to be equally challenging. While initial conversations may be relatively easy, progressing beyond the acquaintance or colleague level presents significant difficulty. In my view, this challenge exceeds that encountered in Germany once the initial familiarity has been established.
@ralf_stahlmann I absolutely believe that. Even after more than a decade I - born in northern Bavaria - struggle to make close friendships even here in Northern Germany as well. It's not always just more or less openness and cultural differences between countries, it can also vary greatly just from place to place or from region to region as well.
Haha! I've heard it described as a coconut culture. A hard outer shell, with a soft, juicy interior. Unlike a peach culture, where the outside is soft, but there is an inner, hard core. It takes longer to become friends with a coconut person. But once you've become friends, the coconut milk flows. Then you get ALL the honest truths. Whereas a friendship with a peachy person comes about much more quickly and easily, there are a core of things you'd rather not talk about. Politics, religion, sex... As a danish person, I appreciate the courtesy of not bothering other people.
I am a relatively antisocial person that has learned to be superficial as a survival mechanism - I see the 'niceness' as lubricant to allow proximity without anxiety. My mind's conversational tendency borders on Aspergers and my wife has thankfully learned to deal with me well enough that I can relax around her, which is a blessing I cannot describe - the woman is a saint and I love her with all my heart. In public I am constantly on alert and it is exhausting. I don't suggest this is Ashton's issue here, but sugar is my favorite coat with most people, so I empathize.
@lakrids-pibe oh, I had not heard that analogy before and I like it!! I seem to be more of a black walnut type, nasty husk on top of a hard shell with a center nut that most do not find worth the trouble revealing. 😉
That’s partly true about school. I was two years old when my parents came to Germany from Kosova, just before the war broke out there. I was a very dreamy child, so even in primary school I would often daydream and not really pay attention. Because of that, I was placed in the Hauptschule. Later on I became more focused and started paying attention, moved from Hauptschule to Realschule, then to Gymnasium, and eventually went on to study mechanical engineering. I also think the system of deciding which school you belong to happens too early. But the idea behind it is that you don’t want to hold other children back, and you also don’t want a child to become demotivated if, for years, everyone around them is performing much better than they are.
And as you have proven yourself, the German system is very open for older students and even adults to switch to higher education later on. Then it just takes a few years more. But as a daydreaming kid you would not have had any guarantee that you would have moved through Gymnasium without repeating a year either…
@corneliaippers603 Doch leider ist es erwiesen, dass in Deutschland die Herkunft die Zukunft bestimmt. Ich bin ein Kind des Drei-Stufen-Schulsystems (und bin oben gescheitert), meine Eltern waren so stolz auf mich, als Arbeiterkind auf dem Gymnasium. War auf einem Gymnasium in einer privilegierten Gegend und habe schnell den Unterschied zu meinem Heim-Gymnasium erkannt. Was ich gut finde, ist der gesamte 2.Bildungsweg mit all seinen Arten, so dass Gescheiterte oder Spätzünder etwas nachholen können. In Bremen konnte man ohne Abi oder Beruf eine Prüfung ablegen und zum Studium zugelassen werden.
True, nearly everybody I know is in a club run by volunteers and a lot of them volunteer themselves, because: I was given, so I am compelled to give back. So they organize a street / block party. Give sports or music lessons to kids. Lead a choir. Teach foreigners german, Run clubs for everything and anything. Are traffic wardens. And, very importantly, are part of fire brigades, the DLRG (water rescue) or the THW (the guys with the big machines and generators after a catastrophy). This, by the way, is where to find a German friend as an adult! Join a club, engage. The clubs are also often a great mix of young and old, wealthy and poor, highly educated and barely made highschool. They are the glue, that keep Germany together! Or having kids, that works as well....
And, depending on where one lives, there are clubs for everything. Sports. Hiking. Choirs. Car-fiddeling. Local history. Music. Even E-Sports..and of course THW and freiwillige Feuerwehr if one really wants to dive into the 'giving back' aspect
I am Swiss and have a notion of "friend" just like the Germans. I lived in Melbourne, Australia, for some time, and there, finally, learnt that "close friend" is the corresponding transition for the German "Freund". So "friend" and "Freund" are actually what language theory calls "false friends": similar-sounding words with quite different meanings. Isn’t that hilarious ! (one of the best examples for this is the Spanish "embarazada" which means pregnant and not embarrassed…)
And the English word pregnant does not translate to "prägnant" which I had to learn the hard way back then in school when I said "he described the situation in short pregnant words" and my teacher gave me the dictionary and told me to look up the word :) (I later studied "Anglistik" in Freiburg btw ;) ).
Do social media platforms, gameing platforms, etc. translate the "add friend" function wrong to german, just because they also fell for that "false friend"?!
I did what you did, but in Switzerland. Arrived single for a job, 38 years later now retired, married with 2 kids attending Swiss universities. Looking back, moving here and naturalizing is the best move I ever made, especially looking at the US now. A big plus: if your kids do attend university it is largely free - in the US you would spend your retirement savings, or put your kids in enormous debt.
"in eine Schublade stecken" does not mean "shutting someone away into a drawer". In this case it refers to "Schubladendenken" which means thinking in fixed categories. You can hear it often when talking about music. There might be the "drawers" like "jazz" or "opera" or "gothic" and people always try to put music in one of those categories - but sometimes that doesn't work. So what they were saying is: Your child won't be treated like "the Amercian" or "the adhd-child" or the "smart kid" but rather without prejudice just as a child in general. So he will not be put in the drawer "he has adhd" and ignoring all of his other capabilities.
17:13 when putting the social stigma aside: that's exactly what our tiered school system is for. Children that go to gymnasium are expected to understand things by a one time explanation and be capable of working on their own, Realschule has more repeating explanation and Hauptschule is supposed to hold the hands more. The curriculum stays the same, the way in which it is taught differs. Hence your child can progress by finishing Hauptschule and progressing through a Realschul degree to participating in the Abitur years of a Gymnasium and get the same qualification. Alternatively a completed apprenticeship in a trade qualifies them to study in that specific field. E.g. my little brother was a drop out. Learned his trait, enrolled into an university in his field (audiology) afterwards and is now in the process of getting his doctorate. Also in school I had multiple kids that came from a Hauptschule to finish their school education with an Abitur at my Gymnasium. It has quite a lot of social stigma to it, but it isn't a set in stone path and from its motivation it caters exactly to the kind of educational approach you champion. Everyone I know that went to Hauptschule (which are admittedly not that many, but still a good hand full) has managed to get themselves an academical degree.
18:16 suffering myself from ADHD with persistence into adulthood: that won't hold your child back. The school system is more about how independent your child can learn, however it doesn't bar them from any future opportunities as described above. As I said, even my brother, who never finished highschool, managed to get an education in a trade and gain his academical qualifications that way and is in a doctorate program. Don't look at the social stigma and the perceived opportunities taken away and focus more on the actual intent behind the structure. It is meant to accommodate different needs and there is no stone ceiling in German education. Everyone who wants to study gets to study, it just might take your kid a different route or a couple of years longer (though then again Oberstufe, so where you gain your Abitur takes 3 years and so does the average apprenticeship, so if your child finds a field of passion right after normal school (grade 10), he won't even be disadvantaged in terms of time and end up with more qualification in his field of expertise than someone who went to a Gymnasium. Gymnasium opens you all academic paths, but every form of school can land you in academic education)
Oh and there are also multiple different approaches towards education in German schools, the majority is of the traditional humanitarian approach, however there are also others. With ADHD I would for example also look at the "Waldorf" school approach, as that type of schools put a lot more emphasis on personal expression and physical activity in class (the stereotype is that all they do is to learn how to dance their names, but again it's not something that will hold your child back and will earn him his university qualification - so it might be just what he needs with the inner unrest that comes with ADHD)
My parents went with the following rule for us: "it doesn't matter what you do, but you have to do something" - and with that approach all three of us ended up with an academic degree. The German education system really is quite accommodating to different needs and offers a variety of paths towards a professional education and as long as you do something there will always be new paths opening within the system to further your education. Noone is trapped by the type of school they are send to, they are just alternative paths, catered to alternative needs towards the end goal of having a professional qualification. So don't worry to much about it or think of it as a tier system but look at what the different forms offer and think about what your child needs. The children that were forced into the gymnasium against all recommendations by their parents all dropped out in the first two years and were put into a different school level, though with the trauma of having failed their parents' expectations. It's not about personal prestige, it's about the needs of the child and as long as you approach our education system with that in focus your children will do just fine and find their own way in life.
Quick note on the German saying: nicht in eine Schublade stecken It doesn't really translate to "shutting him away" It is more along the line of: "we are not imprinting on him a set of prejudices" Hard to say, but in essence it means they are (trying) not giving him a label. "Schubladendenken" is in essence German Umgangssprache on "biased thinking" And on schooling: there are alternatives to the regular school journey in Germany. Although I am not specifically a fan of it, Waldorfschulen are quite common in the south and focus more on the child's individual development. Its a bit more on the esoteric side, true, and it has a bit of a bad NS history, but frankly, so does the regular school system but I know a lot of people that flourished in them where they failed previously in the regular school system.
Excellent comment! Phrases like this often contain so much cultural connotation that they are hard to translate. Imho, you nailed it (Du hast den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen, now that one was easy).
This! So much! Also Gesamtschulen are the quintessence of that kind of thinking. You "simply" progress as far as you are able to and leave with the degree you aquired along the way. No, "Oh, so went 13 years to the Gymnasium but botched the final exam? Too bad, so sad, move along loser.". You will always have the previous degree as a fallback.
German adult who struggled with undiagnosed cPTSD and ADD here. I faced a similar problem after Grundschule: "Your child is eager, smart, curious. But she has so many issues. She cries so easily, she shuts down, she distracts other kids and herself. Honestly, I think a Hauptschule will be all we can get her to finish." I subsequently attended a Gesamtschule, simply because it opens SO many doors. It is the most flexible schoolastic education offered, and for a kid with some serious issues growing up, it was heaven-sent. I finished my Abi with a 2.6 while carrying all my many undiagnosed issues and without outstanding help from parental figures. I will forever be a fan of that school.
Thanks for Sharing. In Baden-Württemberg Hauptschule did Not Stop you from having a career later. I met several Hauptschüler studying at University (Fachhochschule). Afaik there are almost no Hauptschule here anymore. But good if Gesamtschule does a similar job.
I was the opposite, high flyer and then broken (by other reasons); I think that was the aftermath of the Second World War, we have so many traumatized teachers, old maps with Hitler's dream places and borders, singing "alt-deutsche" (Soldaten-)Lieder. Nobody cares for the individual; the group has to function.
I'm sure that's true but, I wouldn't be surprised that that's also true of every school system on Earth! And yes, I am sure we could learn a lot from each other.
@ruschein Maybe the Germans weren't bombarded with the toxic shots that American children were forced to take that have caused so many neurological and physical issues like autism, ADHD and allergies etc that the US school system HAD to deal with thanks to big Pharma. 🤨
A RUclips video once said: 'German education system is designed to make childrfen a valuable and productive part of society.' This sounds cruel and inhumane, but of course it isn't. But yes, German education requires the will to participate. This may happen later, once a person realizes that he or she has missed some chances. Even as an adult Germany offers you options to improve your life.
@lagringa7518 All of those neurological problems you mentioned are proven to be genetically inherited - in other words, the person had them since they were born. The myth that vaccines are responsible for autism, ADHD and other 'similar' problems has been debunked again and again. And it stems from a person who a) wanted to sell his own vaccines and diagnostic methods and b) got payed to 'produce' those test results (which have also been disproven).
I’m German and spent a total of 18 years living and working in three different U.S. states, so I recognize many of the experiences you describe-just from the other side. Your point about socializing before meetings and those infamous water-cooler chats really resonated with me, especially how they help build relationships and make collaboration easier at work. I learned this lesson the hard way during my first role in the U.S. headquarters of a company I’d joined in Germany right after university. After three months, my supervisor called me into her office. She praised my expertise and productivity-particularly because I reliably left after eight hours instead of lingering like everyone else. “But,” she added, “you don’t seem approachable.” To really fit in and get ahead, I needed to learn to “relax” my German focus and start to hang out with my coworkers. This concept is just as foreign to a German, even if she isn’t introverted, as the German directness and bluntness is to Americans.
...COVID and home office ruined it all. Although my division had a daily online meeting during COVID, I still felt like I was losing touch with my work environment. Rather than calling someone, I normal walk to their office to talk. I remember hearing it takes many months for employees to become familiar with their coworkers; I normally was connected with all of my 100-200 coworkers within a month. My last assignment after COVID and before retiring was very different. The organization felt very disjointed, people actively isolated themselves, I was reprimanded for leaving my door open during the day (no policy, just culture). The world has changed.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was well over 40. I struggled throughout my school career but managed to get a mediocre Abitur. I was not sure to study right away so I became an aircraft mechanic after 3 years of vocational training. After that I studied and became aeronautical engineer. I went to school in the 80ies and 90ies without all the diagnostic possibilities with regard to ADHD and I succeeded nevertheless. Key to my success was that I have parents who supported me all the time and believed in me.
I've been living in Austria for 34 years now as I was tired of living in LA, and had originally planned on moving to Australia, but destiny had other plans for me. I sold as much of my things as possible before shipping the rest to Europe, starting my adventure, hook, line and sinker. No job, no visa, no place to live, etc., but was able to start off working at a theater, allowing me to be granted an artist visa, allowing me to go around the system. For the most part I worked freelance, though in my last 10 years of work, was granted full time teaching at a technical university. Having something to offer which others don't have, gave me opportunities which was helpful. My daughter is an echte Wienerin, went to Austrian, schools, finished her schooling at an HTL. Though she was not interested in going to University, which would have been free for her, she eventually decided a few years later to attend one of the many technical universities, which allowed her to have a semester abroad, which she did for both her Bachelor's and Master's degrees. The first being Korea, and this past year, China, having spent 6 months in each country. Due to her interests, she is a native German speaker, followed by English, Italian, Japanese, Korean and Chinese, which she is fluent in the three Asian languages. All of my friends are Austrian and have known them for years. I finally decided to get my Austrian citizenship a few years ago, and like Ashton, a first interview would have been 11 months into the future, living in Vienna. I moved 7 years ago to Carinthian close to the Austrian Italian border, and got an appointment within 3 weeks, then went through the process, and after renouncing my US citizenship, while being stateless for 3 months, I went in to be sworn in as an Austrian ca. 3 years ago. Being diverted from my initial desire to move to aussie land, was the best decision I have ever made. I have lived on 4 continents, in 6 countries and on an island, 47% of my life overseas, thankful for having had an interesting life. Greetings from the Carinthian Alps.
lol😂, the opposite feeling when I was in the USA. Everyone calls you ‘my friend’ while they’re not a friend but more an acquaintance in my point of view. So funny, from a first instinct you view those experience so solid from what you grew up with. But later you realize it just a culture thing, not wrong, just different. But… (hahaha) a friend is still ‘more’ than a acquaintance
In my experience, most Usonians have ulterior intentions, professional or commercial, when they call you a friend and just as easily forget you when such intentions are not met.
Ich schreibe hier (wahrscheinlich) zum ersten mal auf deutsch. Wir waren vor 11-12 Jahren eingebürgert. Das war damals, nach dem wir mit unserem Studium in Deutschland fertig waren und unsere Zukunft hier konkreterisieren wollten. Ja, es kann von einer Stadt zu anderer so unterschiedlich sein. Aber damals hat der Oberbürgermeister von Stuttgart zwei mal jährlich in einer Zeremonie die Einbürgerung gefeiert. Es wurde gesungen, interessante Biografien wurden erzählt, es gab ein Buffet. Das war ein ganz emotionaler Moment für uns, nach 12 Jahren in Deutschland... Und zur Schattenseiten: wir kommen auch aus einem anderen Land und mit dem "Schublanden"-Thema haben wir auch zu kämpfen. Ich finde es noch immmer ganz kritisch, dass die Kinder in der Grundschule nach 4 Jahren sortiert werden. Ich komme aus einem Land, wo wir zwar nach 4 Jahren Schule gewechselt haben, aber die Kinder wurden nicht getrennt. Wir haben keine Großeltern hier, wir hatten zwar noch einen guten Kindergarten, aber jeder Elternteil will das beste für eigenes Kind und wir müssen dafür viel investieren. Liebe Ashton, ihr seid nicht allein beim Thema und ich wünsche euch nur viel Geduld und Nerven. Liebe Grüße aus Stuttgart
Wir Deutsche finden unser Schul-und Betreuungssys tem für Kinder auch nicht so groß artig, besonders dann wenn das Kind sich mit irgendwas schwer tut. Es kommt wirklich auf die Schule an und besonders auf die Lehrer. Vielleicht kann man eine deutschsprachige Ersatzomi oder Kindersitterin engagieren, damit ihr an einem Tag in der Woche auch zu Hause Deutsch sprecht. Das könnte ein biß chen Druck rausnehmen. Wenn man Kinder hat, lernt man eigentlich auch durch die Kinder Freunde kennen. Nur nicht auf geben und vor allem, die Schuld nicht bei sich selber suchen
In Berlin the Kids are 6 years in Grundschule. I absolute agree, that we don't need more than one secoundary school type, better a Gemeinschaftsschule including Grundschule and Sekundarschule/Gymnasium. And education should be federal law, not state law as it is. A good but not well known opportunity in Germany is the Nicht-Schüler-Prüfung (non-pupil-exam). Everyone has the opportunity and the right to obtain any school qualification through self-study.
Addition: Usually, specifically younger make folks (beginning with millenials) call un-close friends that they still like somewhar "Kollegen" despite never having worked together. Realising this ca 10+ years ago solved a annoying puzzle for me: "Where the heck did these 2 idiots ever worked closely?" Jokingly, I think "with the advert of millenials Freundschaft died". As German to me a Freund is someone I'd die for if necessary, no questions asked. If an okd friend calls me after 20 years not having seems him/her, I won't hesitate. If anything is more eternal than marriage, it's Freundschaft. I think, Japanese people entertain a similar concept.
On the education system, please note that it isn’t as impermeable between the different paths than it looks. For instance, the Abitur (highest secondary school license) doesn’t preclude vocational training, and while it’s harder to achieve, you can get to the Abitur starting out from a Realschule or Hauptschule secondary school, if it becomes apparent that you’re just a bit of a slow starter and exceeding the expectations at a later stage. And since higher education is basically free, everyone will be able to exploit any potential that they display during their school career. Nonetheless, the early selection of the secondary school is admittedly somewhat problematic, and favours children from German families with an academic background. And for the past decades, reforms have struggled to find solutions to this, complicated also by the fact that in the German federal system, it’s the Land that is in charge of the school system. In theory, the systems are designed to be socially just, in practice, many regional governments focus on accommodating the expectations of their supposed electoral supporters - conservatives will put an emphasis on “elite”, progressive governments on “integration”, and both will justify these claims with largely symbolic policies, while there is a continuous underinvestment in the education system, compared with the Scandinavian and the advanced Asian countries, for example.
Actually, the principle of inclusion applies in schools. I think that everything should remain open until the 8th grade, i.e. for about 13 years. However, this means that talented students become bored. I also see a problem in that parents do not respect the pace of learning and do not accept that children have to repeat grades. The truth is that if teachers constantly have to take care of slow learners, they do not have time to recognize and encourage exceptional talents and gifted students.
@mg7990 the error is probably to see school as something like office work, in terms of productivity and transfer of knowledge. If you have talent and interest for something, as a kid, there is plenty of room outside of school to learn and practice. But if you don’t have the social and material background to do so, and school is your only opportunity… you need exceptional teachers to make up for that, and as in any profession, they are rather the exception than the rule.
@thomasalbrecht5914 That's true, talented students always get ahead, but they can't achieve top performance without support. But learning isn't always fun. You learn the basics (boring) And then you can apply them to do exciting things. And of course, a good degree is no guarantee that you'll get on in life. But school is good training for getting on in society later on.
@mg7990 It is a tough balance. The disastrous US education policy "No Child Left Behind" reduced education to the lowest common denominator. I suggest public education should target the middle ground, while offering opportunities for remedial as well as advanced students. I was fortunate to attend a progressive school that permitted students to take classes according to their ability, higher as well as lower, without having to either repeat or skip an entire grade. In my case, in 10th grade I was taking 12th grade STEM classes and 9th grade English (I just didn't like English class). Yes, students must complete all state requirements to graduate, but you weren't stuck in classes that were either boring or incomprehensible just because of an arbitrary numbering system.
@just4funallday508 Yes, I understand that sounds like a good system, but it still requires good teachers who motivate you in English, for example, because taking the easier classes out of laziness isn't so good either. We live in a meritocracy where children have to find their place. Neither extreme pressure nor no demands are good. As you say, a balance would be best.
Polish person here. As for 'friend' - I remember when a coleague of mine was dating an American girl and she did learn fairly good level of Polish, good enough to explain simple stories. At some point we are having a dinner and she tells us a story (in Polish, to practice) sometimes asking us for a missing word. At some point she forgot a word for 'an enemy' so asked, and each of the six of us translated it differently: 'nieprzyjaciel' (literally 'not-a-friend' - technical emotionless term, most common in the military parlance), 'oponent' (someone who is agains us, but still respects the rules of the fight), 'przeciwnik' (someone who might not respect the rules of the fight, but respects the ceasefire or truce), 'obcy' (technical, used eg. when describing fried-of-foe automatic systems), 'wróg' (driven by hatered, non-rational, cannot be reasoned with, cannot be negotiated with, cannot be trusted in what he signs or declares). Anyway, it was a funny experience. We started laughing that just as Inuit have many different words describing snow, or just like Pacific islanders have many words describing waves - people living on the central european flatlands have many words for 'enemy'.
Nepřítel, oponent, protivník, soupeř, rival, konkurent, odpůrce... Greetings from Czechia 😀And I am sure my words have inspired you for some more polish ones, didn't they?
Our son was also diagnosed with ADHD (ADHS) and his whole journey through the school system was quite rought and required one or the other detour. However, he finally got his Bachelor's degree in industrial engineering with a focus on electrical engineering and his Master's degree in business informatics. I'm sure your son will achieve his goals too.
My definition of friend: Someone who can call me in the middle of the night saying "I need your help" and I would instantly drive across the country without having to know why.
@solizwiegenkinds7047 Sie listet jede Menge Erlebnisse auf und vergleicht die beiden Kulturen miteinander. Was soll denn Daran bitte inhaltslos sein? Aber manche scheinen ja Schwierigkeiten Damit zu haben, sich selbst und andere einmal im Spiegel betrachten zu können/müssen.
I'm going to give it a meh. Nothing really new here. Germans are more complex than this. Using your Dr. title out of context fits right in, lol... I wish her the best!
Hello Ashton,, can’t believe 7 years has already passed. I’ve loved watching you from the beginning and love your videos still. You are such an inspiration and I wish you and your family all the happiness and success you deserve. ❤
My close friends have a grandson, now 11, who is fiercely intelligent, curious, but also encumbered by pretty severe ADHD and also needs speech therapy. We here in Croatia moan about the quality of schools, healthcare, everything, but I am happy to repost that this little fellow got all support he needed in school, both from his regular teachers as a dedicated "assistant", a person paid by the school, assigned to help hims fit in.
Good luck with your citizenship. I moved to France from the UK eight years ago and it's been a great experience. I regularly ride the B500 through the Black Forest... fantastic scenery.
I have been following your journey for years and this video compelled me to submit my first ever RUclips comment. As a fellow U.S. immigrant to Germany, I am so very happy for you. Every day I count my blessings that I have the privilege to live in this beautiful country.
To talk about your son: Opportunity won't be taken from him. My son has high-functioning autism. The normal Grundschule didn't want to take him, so he had to go to a Sonderschule although he is above average in his intelligence. Yes, he is bored often. But he has 7 classmates and 2 teachers. At one point he had a Schulassistenz. This year he makes his Hauptschulabschluss. If he wants, he can add 2 more years and have his Mittlere Reife. And if he wants, he can go 3 years to the "berufliches Gymnasium" like his mother did and get Abitur. Then he will have the identical degree after 14 years of school like his sister, who went to Gymnasium directly, got after 13 years. And we as parents, at this point, haven't paid a dime for his education yet. And the quality of his school won't be dependant on the school district. Even if your son will decide to make Abitur and go to University at age 40, he won't get into debt because of it. I don't know what's the problem of your child is, and I don't want to speculate. But do you really believe, in the US he would have had better opportunities if you were poor? And if you are rich you can always hire a private tutor or put him in a private school, like Montessouri, Reforschule, Waldorf, ... in Germany, too.
Little comment on the Schublade thing. Not sure if you know it, if you did, ignore me, but "jemanden in eine Schublade stecken" is a saying in Germany basically meaning to put someone in a box or to categorize someone. To not do that means not just slapping a single label on a person and treating them just based on that. So it's less directly about restrictions and more about prejudice and not letting that influence oneself.
But wow!! The opportunities to accept and take on these international 'challenges' so much help you grow! From an American in The Netherlands - so recognize your story. Crossed the Atlantic three times! The world is our domain! And school of life! So fun! Success with the channel and with life!
Hello Ashton. German ADHD Guy here. Most people with ADHD are very intelligent and creative. But they need a lot of exercise. They can't sit around in boring school all day listening to a 45-minute explanation of a topic that they easily understand after five minutes. As soon as you're ‘different,’ the German school system has a problem with you. (I have ADHD myself, and so do my two boys. We all managed to get our A-levels and had access to higher education, but it wasn't easy for any of us.) Unfortunately, it's also a question of persistence. Stay strong. Stick together. Resist...
17:31 When you started about school, struggles and needing ´more´ for your child, ADHD was the first thing that popped up in my mind. I think very few schools and teachers know how to deal with neurodivergent people. Reference: me and my two genetically burdened daughters.
Das kann ich nur unterstreichen. Wobei gesagt werden muss das ADHS (ADHD) today is better known than 50 years before. I hope people learn more about it and helps more ten being nerves.
Same here. It's the reason I got together with two other (foreign born) moms and we founded an organization in Vienna for people with ADHD 27 years ago. I remember so well how our child 's primary school teacher said : "had I known that, I wouldn't have recommended Gymnasium" after I told her, on the last day of school about the diagnosis and treatment. Many adults that attend our meetings have had similar or worse incidents during childhood and youth. But!! I also hear that from ex-pats. So the same could have happened State-side, especially if one is of a minority, or speaks another language at home. I wish you, as ever, all the best. Have followed you from the Black forest family days!❤
i feel like you dont complain enough to become german. I have a guy from spain as coworker and he is like this is shit and why is that so slow and why is it so cold and grey and that is not working properly and so on. i was like "dude you fit right in here, you dont even speak proper german but you have the right attitude". When ever i watch your videos they all have such a positive spin to everything, while when you speak to germans its more like even the most positive things are told as if they could have been better.
I lived my first 11 years in what is now Czechia. We are very much a complaining culture; it is how we make conversation. Boy, did that clash with people in the US.
I never thought about it, but looking back, on the „difficult“ child I was, I can really see what you mean by being given up on early based on not fitting into the expected norms by various educational institutions at a younger age. Thankfully I performed well enough academically that even negative comments on the „recommendation thingy“ after the fourth grade by the teachers who struggled with me in the Grundschule didn‘t prevent me from going to a Gymnasium. But yeah, I can see that being a highly frustrating thing as a parent if teachers/schools arent willing/motivated and/or equipped to deal with a child that is outside of the expected norm or their comfort zone. Something that you maybe aren‘t aware of is that even after the regular vocational school system path you still have opportunities to go to universities and study via various means. I‘d describe it as a catch up system maybe? But basically further educational achievments can be used to „raise“ your „level“ to a point where universities or other educational paths that ask for certain qualifications will accept you despite never having gone to a Gymnasium. It‘s difficult to explain and probably varies from region to region and is rather individual to each person. But yeah, be aware that going to Hauptschule doesn‘t mean your child can‘t become successful as an adult and on the flipside going to a Gymnasium or university doesn‘t mean you will become successful. Very generally put: it‘s probably better to be in a „lower“ school where you can get good grades to build upon rather than going to a „higher“ one if you only barely make it and end up with grades you can‘t use to apply with anywhere for anything. I hope everything will go swimmingly with the citizenship for you all.
We had similar experiences with the school system, resulting in our first-born finishing primary school with an expensive private school. It all came down to people in the end, even in a system as highly organised as the German one. Our second son's first-grade teacher made school hell for him. After some healing, he now gets along a lot better. I am glad that you found a better opportunity for your son.
I visited Europe in August 1990 with my girlfriend and her parents. We went to many cities including Munich. I hope to go back some day. Good video. Thank you.
From guy diagnosed 20ish years ago with adhd and a German I hope I can elevate your fear for your kid a bit, there will always be teachers that see your kid for what he is, an inquisitve young boy with special needs. I didn't follow the tradiotional German education path and made my ABitur later in life and still got a university degree in a field I really like a lot. It wasn't an easy journey and my mum fought a lot for me and others like me, but now at least better ressoureces should be in place all over Germany.
Having two little guys with ADHD. I would like to suggest to get your Kids tested for it BEFORE they go to Grundschule. If it is confirmed it will give you way more options in school. For instance the teachers have to allow for personalized assistance. That may go from a bit more leeway during class to an Integrationshelfer who accompanies your Kid during classes. ….just saying there are ways to help even in German school systems. Rules may also vary dependent on the Bundesland.
But they are notes in the grades about the handicap and the helping, it is not always good to let the future employers know, how you get to your grades, only with helping. This the case in the South, to let the future employer know, that he gets these grades only with outside help, not by himself. So the life will not be easier on the Job Market in the future, for that kids, when there are adults. A Grade B with Help is not always better as a C without help. It is like a driver license, which says to wear glasses.
thats a common misinformation. As long as the kids write the same test and exams nothing will appear on reports. And by the way no employer will give a f*** about the grades in Grundschule anyway. It is important though that the kids learn the skills. If some kids need more support than others when they start their school education so be it. If that means they can learn with less frustration it is a win for everybody involved.
@TypeAshtonwhat I would be interested in... How did your families, your friends and former colleagues in the US react when you were telling them about you plans to emigrate to Germany and even to own German citizenship? Do they like the idea or do the call you traitors? 😊
They are all really happy for us and think it’s cool. They recognize that after all of these years that we want to stay and make it permanent. The dual citizenship just makes it all the more easier for us to do long term planning.
18:01 Germany does not have a single school system. It varies by state (Bundesland). Some states transfer their kids at the 7th grade to secondary schools while others may have a middle school (grade 5 and 6) and then sorted into secondary schools. So it's not a general thing in Germany at all.
Hey Ashton, first off congratulations. Regarding your worries with school. Do not worry too much about the supposed rigidity of the German school system, it's way more flexible than it seems and is usually presented. There are plenty of people who go to university who didn't go to "Gymnasium" at first, even plenty who first go to "Hauptschule". Some even don't ever do their "Abitur" as they go into a job first and do their "Meister" which also entitles you to go for an masters degree. I also know a lot of people who got pushed by their parents to go to "Gymnasium" (in the end, what the teacher say is just a suggestion and the parents decide) who failed there. I'm personally glad my parents never did put that pressure onto me, as even in "Realschule" i was quite bad in everything but math until grade 8 (4 or D in all subjects) where things picked up and i eventually graduated with mostly A's a few B's and a single C (in German) and then did my "Abitur" at a "berufliches Gymnasium" which is an "Gymnasium" that specializes into a specific field f.e. mine offered different profiles regarding economics. "normal" Gymnasiums do that as well, but usually in more traditional academic fields like arts or languages. My profile was business IT and math for example. This doesn't lock you in for later, but it prepares you for either going into the field or studying in that field. I also went to university to study business IT and i had a major advantage compared to the people from a "normal" Gymnasium for at least the first year. If i went into another field i'd started at the same point as my fellow students, which a lot of my classmates did, only 3 of them went into IT, the rest did very different things, one became a detective, one studied law and is now a judge, one went into social sciences etc. Also companies often prefer those people to those who did a purely academic career, as their schooling was a lot more practically oriented and a lot of people in these companies have a somewhat skeptical view of people who had an purely academic path. On the other hand, if you trying a purely academic path, then it's the other way around. It's not like one is "better". Just try to find the best path for your kids needs and goals. And obviously you can always have good or bad luck with teachers, you did exactly the right thing, just try to switch school/class if the impression is that the teacher is the issue. I repeated grade 3 because my teacher hated me. Nobody ever asked about it, not once. At the same time, even if the teacher would be right that your son could use some additional support, it would in no way impede yours or Jonathans quality as a parent. So if you ever feel like it's the case that you need additional help, don't be ashamed about it, get it. Doing so is the sign of a good parent, not a bad one. So keep that in mind, if it is ever becoming relevant to you :)
In Serbo-Croatian we have like 3 different words for what Americans call "friend", depending on the ammount of familiarity and/or closeness. You could add even more nuance and/or gradation if you include colloquial terms. It basically goes like: poznanik - a person I know; drug - a friend; and prijatelj - a true friend, almost bordering on family. You can augment "drug", by saying "drugar" which is a more fun and informal kind of a friend. Or you can even formalise it by making a prijatelj a kum(a), which basically makes them a member of the family; or sometimes "pobratim"/"posestra" (depending on gender), which basically means we consider eachother so close that we are in effect siblings (that one is quite rare, tho). From what I've seen Americans do seem to throw the words "friend" and "love" around quite flipantly, and I don't feel it's condusive to forming deep bonds with people.
We have something similar in Dutch. Bekende is someone you know. Kennis is an acquaintance. Vriend is a male friend and Vriendin is female friend. Hartsvriend or goede vriend is a close or good male friend or bestie. hartsvriendin is the same but female. And we have jeugdvriend(in), a friend you have since childhood (jeugd means youth).
@RealConstructor Ooh, I like the "jeugdvriend" one. It trully is a category of its own - a circle of its own on the Venn diagram of human relationships. It does feel like it fully deserves to have its own term. Germanic languages are quite nifty in their ability to easily coin new words.
@RealConstructorthat's like Bekannter (acquaintance) in German. We also have Jugendfreund (youth friend). Herzensfreund is a word we're sadly lacking though! We do have "enger Freund" (close friend) and Kumpel (pal/mate) though.
18:28 When I was in kindergarten here in Germany, it was already clear that I was neurodivergent. Informally I had gotten an autism diagnosis, but, thanks to INTENSIVE integrative therapy ("Frühförderung") which required a lot of time and effort on behalf of my mom, the psychologists and pediatricians refrained from giving me a formal diagnosis... Arguing that having that label would lead to teachers not giving me my fair shot. They also said that they couldn't make a call on if I'd manage school, if I could make it to a Gymnasium eventually, but that they didn't rule it out. Granted, this was the late 90s, but that field hasn't progressed that much in Germany, sadly, same with teachers' attitudes. I did manage to go a Gymnasium and entered university and did relatively okay... Ignoring some periods where I overexerted myself. Oh, and as an adult I now do have a formal autism diagnosis. Plus an ADD diagnosis, too. It really sucks that your son is facing friction from the side of his teachers. Hopefully you'll find and keep access to resources and methods of assistance for him to keep all paths open for him.
I have being watching you for the last 3 years, and I always feel related with your videos, this one touches me specially cause I have being going through similar issues with my kids, thanks for let me see that we are not the only ones, and thank for doing such a great content!! Keep doing it!!
So glad to hear that you find the videos relatable and that it's helpful to see you're not alone! Always appreciate you for following the channel for so long.
I live in Austria, and one of my nephews also had hyperactivity syndrome when he was young (and believe me, it really was). Today, he's almost thirty, a specialist in catering machinery (a trained car mechanic), a forester in his home region of Waldviertel, and also a hunter (a certified hunter). He's renovating his deceased grandparents' house and has bought the neighboring house and outbuildings, which he's also renovating. Such a diagnosis isn't the end of the world if you tackle it the right way! Today, my nephew is rather quiet but hardworking.
Hi Ashton, So the next video will be entirely in German? Bold move. Very bold. I hope you’re ready for the comment section to turn into a Goethe-themed Hunger Games 😂 I really love your content, and I admire how precisely you capture the German mindset. Honestly, sometimes I think you understand Germans better than many Germans do. I’ve lived in the Netherlands for over 20 years now, and I’ve had my fair share of “cultural misunderstandings” here too - mostly caused by me overthinking things that absolutely did not require overthinking. A very German hobby. About your kids and the whole education drama: From the outside, it looks like Germany decides your child’s entire future in 4th grade. Like: “Congratulations, Timmy, you wrote ‘Schmetterling’ wrong - enjoy your new career in forklift logistics.” But in reality, it’s not that dramatic. Germany actually has a ton of different paths to get a good education. It’s like a giant educational IKEA: many routes, some confusing, but eventually you end up with something functional. Every European country has its own system, and that’s great. Kids can switch paths later, sometimes even across borders. Here in the Netherlands, I see kids taking German classes and jumping into the German system - and German kids doing the opposite. Changing direction at 15 or 17 is totally normal. Europe is basically one big educational buffet. It’s not about being the best at everything. It’s about finding the path that fits, preferably one without too many existential crises. In Germany, I never felt someone was deciding my fate. It felt more like: “We’ve looked at your strengths, your weaknesses, and your handwriting… and we think this might be a good direction.” A gentle nudge, not a life sentence. Here in the Netherlands, people often struggle because the system is very individualistic. In Germany, the question is more: “What fits you, and how does it work for society?” Which, honestly, isn’t a bad thing - unless you’re allergic to structure. And of course, all of this is just my opinion, the ramblings of an old man who’s been living outside Germany for far too long. One thing that is undeniably great: your kids are growing up multilingual. Two languages already, and probably more to come. That’s a superpower. Anyway, thanks for all your content, and please stay exactly as you are. I hope I wasn’t too direct with this long message, but that’s what happens when you grow up in Germany and then spend decades in the Netherlands. The directness levels stack like Pokémon evolutions.
I especially like the thought of Goethe themed Hunger Games 😂 In all seriousness, your thoughts pretty much mirror mine. Except the particular part about the Netherlands‘ school system, as I know nothing about it. But having lived in the USA for nearly 12 years and having had first hand exposure to a private Montessori school on one hand, and public school on the other, I fully agree that Europe is an educational buffet, a smorgasbord.
Obviously everybody wants the best for their kids and it bothers everybody seeing their kid somehow left alone in education. However: European education systems are much more flexibel than within the US. You can almost always re-qualify and get additional degrees even on university level, benefiting from part-time studying models and compared to the US, at least here in Switzerland, it is basically free of charge. You can absolutely do a BSc on a "Fachhochschule" and if that awakens your interest in science you can build on previous degrees and fasttrack your Master on a "proper" university and become highly qualified - even if your hunger for education manifests itself not before you are 25. In Europe you can have a happy life without a university degree. If you do just a higher education as an electrical tradesmen (for example) you are a super star in your field and a sought-after specialist.
In fact, Fachhochschule=HAW=University of Applied Sciences _is_ a university which only offers Bachelor and Master degrees. Just no Ph. D. (while there are exceptions) and less research-oriented.
Yeah. I doubt you'll ever get better education in the USA for a special needs kid. Unless you are super rich. Maybe there are countries in the EU that are better, I don't know. But the USA is definitely not the place.
Totally agree on the misinterpretation of the concept of "Friend" between European & North American culture !! We all experimented it while moving from one contient to the other. For European, the trap is you think "Woooa ! That pretty quick to have friend here", after an afterwork evening with colleagues, sharing spontaneously about their personal life, only 1 week after you join the company. Then, the tomorrow morning, you see them at the office and salut them with a warm great smile, ready to go deeper in the relation....And you just received a polite "Hello, how are you ?" North American people are really open-minded, always ready to enjoy & share a nice moment, without any retainment. But without any expectation about building a bond. As European, we judge this behavior as "futile", even "hypocrite". But it is only a different culture, with its more or less good side. Discovering all those subtile differences is the core interest of living outside our native country.
'Superficial' is probably a better word than 'futile'. A lot of friendliness on top of the lake, but the lake is really shallow. One of the reasons Walmart failed when they tried to get into Germany, because they tried to import this superficial work culture into our world.
@PriestofgoddessSUPERFICIAL.... What the Hell are you talking about?? Most Americans are open-minded, friendly, hard working & Absolutely Love Our Country. If you love your country, then fly your flag, love you fellow countrymen, Then Shut Your Mouth About Americans.
@tedholvey2271 You might think so, but that is not the impression you 'Americans' make to the rest of the world, even more in these times. Not to mention how this 'absolutely love your country' like praising the flag daily in school gives quite the indoctrination vibes, no wonder your current president is kind of a fascist.
Vielen Dank für das persönliche Update. Ich denke darüber haben sich viele der Langzeit-Abonnenten gefreut :) Ich wünsche dir und deiner Familie eine schöne Zeit!
Hi, About the school system, my teacher in the elementary school called me a lazy sock 😂 I should apply the Hauptschule. My mom put me in a Gesamtschule (a school where all school types are mixed in class for class 5-10) if was really hard but I got accepted to to the 11-13 class for gymnasium. But I didn’t go, I went to a special school where you do the Fachhochschulreife (second highest grade in Germany) and you learn a job at the same time. So that’s hard!!! And at the 12-13 class you can also start some lessons in a Fachhochschule (simulation to a university with the same degree but not like a school system with fix lessons per day) So I learned the job as Mechatronic/ electrical engineering at the same time I did my degree. If I would had put in one extra year, I would had the full gymnasium degree so I could study at universities (no buddy did it because everything you want to do n a Uni, you can do on a Fachhochschule too) The idea of that school was, to have more praxis experience and job experience before you start to study. So many people who studied have often forgotten the difference between praxis and theory. So it help to have a basic knowledge about the stuff you want to study. I have now one rule: My kids have to do learn a job first if they want to study. If he want to study architect, ok good learn first a craftsman’s job like Zimmermann or plumper or electrical engineers.
i would recommend to be flexible on that - there are plenty of fields in academics, where the practical job isnt really a help and some are purely theoretical (like for example studying mathematics and going into research or education) its probably a good idea to base it on the direction they want to take their interests and then base it on that - its good to learn practical applications and skills (you probably can imagine the amount of times ive encountered problems in building something, because those making the specifications had no clue about the practical realities and never considered talking to someone who does)... but you also have to keep in mind that something like that will significantly delay their path into higher education if thats where they want to go and might make it more difficult (for example they cant share their parents healthcare once they are above 25, which adds more expenses if they start studying later) also - a lot of university curriculums have options for more application oriented courses for the specific field (usually in the "wahl" or "wahlpflicht" parts of the plan) that would probably be worth considering
@SharienGamingof course. If you study not every job is better as experience before you study. There is no job that you can learn if you want to do mathematics. 😂 My example is based on praxis stuff. And I hope my kids will never learn something like philosophy or something like that. In my eyes that are jobs that don’t give you something as output. 😂😂😂
@RisiPisiLP there is genuine value in things like philosophy - though making a living off of it is tricky outside academics and specific teaching jobs as far as i understand philosophy, it is basically applying the scientific approach to the methods of thinking - how to figure out your biases, to help others to do so as well and of course exploring what systems of values and morality can be and whether they are consistent and applicable to real life situations though i would say that its more useful in combination with other fields, as that way its an enhancement on how you approach that other field rather than a purely educational exercise though going in such a direction is probably a hard path to go... so its understandable, that youd rather they take a route that is more... managable^^ and technically there are jobs you can learn as a mathematician... but it usually makes more sense to learn the maths first there (stuff like stastisticians, data analysts and similar "number crunchy" jobs) and basically - anything you learn has some form of an output... just not all of it is material (for example a therapist would output mental health improvements for their patients)
Speaking about the "absolute rights" in America... your "freedom of speech" that allows others to spread misinformation and fake news to half of the country seems surreal, without any shame, filters or decency they will tell straight lies to your face and been protected by the law. Hence in the US you have both sides with massive disagreements that come from their mass media (not journalism), especially on the right where reality has left the chat. Thanks for the insight. FYI, I'm an East European, white, live and work in the UK (architecture), travelled everywhere, and only once I've faced disclination: Germany! I think Germany is amazing, I admire this country, but Germans do have some cultural issues.
As a German, I'm sorry you had to experience that. There are always a few bad apples in every fruit basket, and unfortunately, we live in a time when people are less and less afraid to show their ugly sides, and society even seems to accept it. Nevertheless, I hope that you won't generalize about all of us after a few unpleasant experiences.
Yeh Dude.....it's our 1st Amendment...Freedom Of Speech...pretty important...I hear European Socialist Countries don't have that Freedom. I think I'll stay here where there's unlimited opportunities & freedom unlike anywhere in the world...THANK YOU
Two things about the school system: 1. You're absolutely right that it is underfunded; has been all my life. It's sadly easy for politicians to do: most people who don't currently have children in school (which is a small part of the overall population) don't care too much, and all the damage you do by cutting funding won't be apparent for years or decades. As a 40 year old without kids - I think my tax euros can hardle be better spent than in educating the next generations. 2. For all it's failing, the school system does grant you more than one chance. So even if you don't go to a gymnasium after 4th grade, you can get there later. Or do a Fachabitur, or get your university qualifications through the "second way" (zweiter Bildungsweg), or Abendschule. There are options for someone who "only" has managed a Hauptschulabschluss as a kid to get the qualifications to go to a university later in life. It's just easier and more streamlined if you go the usual route. Not trying to defend the obviously strained/broken system we currently have, but there are at least some options.
when i was a kid, we had an "orientierungstufe" in 5/6th grade that was basically an in-between of the gymnasium and realschule tracks... and i genuinely believe that helped and was a good approach for making a decision on where to go afterwards - certainly better than deciding in 4th grade when all youve been learning is the basics at a very low study load i was genuinely surprised when i started figuring out, that this was not the norm in the rest of germany (not sure if it was an experiment, or just limited to sachsen-anhalt) because it seems like such a straighforward approach in any case - yeah there are a lot of options for switching between the two tracks - my sister did that intentionally (realschule with fachabitur), because it allowed her to get through school pretty fast (and maybe even with better grades?) and she later decided to get her bachelors through her workplace after a couple of years there the education system just really needs significantly more funding, especially for the teachers pay - that is one of the most important professions and it needs to be paid accordingly...
@SharienGaming I agree on pretty much all parts. And yes, teaching should be one of those professions that attract a lot of people - to then use only the better half as actual teachers. Currently in several subjects, pretty much eveeryone gets to teach, because it's either someone teaching the subject who is bad, or no one teaching it at all.
5:30 I think that this is totally usual in working environments that the first up to five minutes are usually used for socializing. At least in the companies I worked for where people join remotely and have no water cooler talks. Not that there aren’t people wishing to reduce that for efficiency 😅
The concern that your child will be irreparably harmed by not getting in a college-track education and will thus be forever disregarded as a lesser person is an American obsession. Plenty of your neighbours likely have technical jobs without college degrees and still have respectable lives. Tracking is a big problem in European schools, but it is not the dead end US schools make it, and there are ways to get it around it more easily than in the money based US education system allows. I have seen it at all levels of Czech education for 33 years.Glad you found a path that works for your son.
I found your graphic illustrating the German educational system quite informative. It assists me in selecting the appropriate English terminology when discussing the topic here in England. However, there is one aspect you may not be aware of: in West Berlin, and indeed to this day, primary education extends for an additional two years. Consequently, by the end of this period, the child’s academic abilities are more clearly assessed, leading to more accurate recommendations for subsequent schooling. Additionally, the graphic does not include the 'Zweiter Bildungsweg,' which is an important component of the system.
Attention though, I found that graphic misleading concerning the Fachhochschule. Fachhochschulen were indeed intially conceived as a parallel path to an academic degree for those who came from a Hauptschule/Realschule+Apprenticeship career. It was a university "light" without the general philosophy overhead universities were supposed to have. The idea was that a smart carpenter had a path to become a civil engineer. These days, Fachhochschulen and Universitäten both grant pretty much the same bachelor's and master's degrees and many people with Abitur and no apprenticeship choose the FH for a myriad of reasons, like a more focused if not shorter education, a smaller environment, a better-fitting degree or simply that it's closer to where they want to live.
@xrimn9294 true, thanks for putting into words the thoughts I had but decided not to add them to my comment. I didn't want to end up writing an essay as I would not have been able to say what you wrote with so few words.
Ahh, intercultural understanding and being conscious about ones own values and perspective. That's the stuff that holds the world together. Thank you so much for living the idea.
As a Dutch you made me laugh when you say Germans are direct and blunt :), to me they're very thoughtful and polite, especially when there's any hiërarchy involved.
I think you would like the Netherlands too. I am Dutch but with German ancestry and I visit Germany regularly. The culture in NL is even more direct and many other values are the same, but everything is a little less rigid here. Little less bureaucracy, somewhat fewer rules to obey, government/healthcare/school/banking services are more often digital for ease of use, more privatization of services (public transport f.ex.) more extravert people, almost everyone is proficient in English. Of course there are flaws just like in Germany. I think no single country or culture is perfect.
Regarding rigidity of schooling in Germany: In Germany there are plenty of professions and job in which you can excell with just completed vocational school, you needn't to attend university to get decent job there. Germany isn't the US.
To add to that: you're also not "trapped" (as you said) to a certain school path. You can also switch later between e.g. Realschule and Gymnasium if it turns out that fits better for him.
Absolutely and we are open to all future possibilities. We can’t expect the world to bend to accommodate all of his needs, we just wish for the opportunities to not be systemically limited before he has a chance to figure out the career path that he wants.
As Jessi said, the school system is not as rigid as it looks. I started Gymnasium, which wasn't for me, so I switched to Realschule after 3 years, continued to Fachoberschule and studied for 2 years at a Fachhochschule only to find out that an academic career was not what I wanted. Worked abroad for a few years, returned to Germany, learned a completely different job in my 30s, and did that, self employment, ever since, looking forward to retiring at the end of this year. Why? Because of this one fabulous teacher at the Gymnasium who stayed my friend until he died. And the remark of your son's kindergarten teacher reminded me of him. "He needs more than I can give him!" - what a remarkably honest sentence! Similar to the "You are at the wrong place. Your brain works differently. Take a different path and always follow your passion. Not outside pressure." which came from my teacher when I was around 12 or 13. My parents' reaction was somewhat similar to yours: "How dare he say that?" But he was spot on!
@Jessi62681 that´s very right. My best friend finished with "Hauptschule", then changed to Realschule after that. Then he learned a Job. After that and 3 Years of practise he made the Abitur (Gymnasiumabschluß) and studied after that "Betriebswirtschaftslehre" and did his Master. So You are not perfect flexible, but flexible enough.
I really smiled when you pointed out how the Germans get down to business right away. Many years ago I did a translation job for cycling company here in Colorado. There were two groups that I was translating for and supporting some Germans and some Italians. When we were told to do our work the Germans started working right away worked really hard and got their part of the job done then they had time to Chitty chat. As for the Italians, they joked around for at least the first 15 minutes before any talk of work was considered however finished on time. I am now in English language development teacher in a high school and because of that experience many years ago it has helped me to give grace to the students and understand where they are coming from.
Seeing the German secondary school system as "social sorting" is a common misconception in my opinion. It would be true, if there wasn't an opportunity to get you Abitur after you finish the "lower" secondary schools, but there always is. Either through specialized Gymnasiums or Berufsschulen. I teach grades 5-10 at a Realschule and many of our kids go on to get their Abitur later and are quite happy that they took the route that was easier for them in the beginning. In my experience, sadly, people who blame their misfortune later in life in being "sorted into the wrong school" are often somewhat entitled and lack the self-reflectiveness to recognize that there might be more to their misfortune than just being treated unfairly by "the system".
To my mind our school system is great because it does not depend on the amount of money the parents have, like in the US F.e.Studying in the USA is extremely expensive, with tuition fees averaging between $20,000 and over $55,000 (approx. €18,700 - €50,000+) per year. In Germany, on the other hand, studying at public universities is almost free, with semester fees usually only €200 to €400. Finally it's great to have you here, a family which integrades perfectly in contrast to o lot of muskim people who doesn't accept our free wayof living and the independence of women !
![Get. The. Bunny. | Pokemon Grumplocke [10]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RqKaOHU-2eM/mqdefault.jpg)
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Within 5seconds i Can tell you Based on my need to Shit on thus video.. You should stay German.. We In a Suck ass phase. GOD SPEED.
Also we can not spell "this"
Love your Podcast your Look at my Country helps me a lot.Greetings from Kohlenpott
You live in the most conservative area of Germany. They are backwards in many ways, but especially when it comes to children and womens rights/opportunities.
Ask around how many people in the "Schwarzwald" were hit by there parents and how many parents still hit their own children.
Ask them, they will tell you, that something like ADHD does not exist, but the force of esotheric crystals and other nonsense.
You simply live by our kind hillbillies.
Then send your son to Gesamtschule, he can get Abitur there (Or at least the qualification), and the teachers are a little more attentive towards special need kids (or they were at my school). Many of these "more special" kids made their Abitur.
Schön dass wir dich als Mitbürgerin gewonnen haben! Ich wünsche dir und deiner Familie Glück und ein langes Leben
Live long and prosper!
Sie sind beide Rückwanderer aus Ostfriesland!😊👍
@Wolfspaule Hey, infite life in infinite variation.
Yeah, gut gesagt, was ich dachte!
spoiler :D
Ich drücke die Daumen für eure Einbürgerung. Ihr seid eine Bereicherung für Deutschland. Es ist eine Ehre euch bei uns zu haben. ❤
@DudeTrebuth-m4g9qthe same goes for germany though.
Yes! Bereicherung it is. It's wonderful to have such considerate, moderate (in a positive way, zurückhaltend) and outspoken people like you in our Gemeinschaft ❤
@dadrising6464🙄
@dadrising6464 Not to the same degree. I won't deny the problems a rise of the AfD brings to our society, but a) hopefully they have reached their peak and b) there is strong resistance against them from the rest of us Germans. (aka about 75% of the voters).
@dadrising6464 Stop watching FOX News. A major problem is the rise of the extreme right in Germany, which is now openly supported by your government. This means that the US is once again part of the problem.
If you're new to Germany and are in need of a friend, just approach someone you like and ask them for advice or help and you'll be surprised how quick most of us open up.
We are basically the introverted of the world somehow. But usually we love to help.
Also due to the german way of being "too direct" if you'll ask you'll quickly know who is willing to help and who is not.
We are the walnuts. Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. Americans are peaches. Soft on the outside, hard on the inside.
@TheTaunusGap The walnut comparison was a joke? Oder?
@ChrisWatonek Nö. Warum? Kannst auch "Kokosnuss" nehmen, wenn Dir ne Walnuß nicht hart genug ist. Und obwohl sich das witzig anhört, ist ein Körnchen Wahrheit drin. Wie in jedem Witz.
@SomeoneNone123 I actually thoroughly enjoy the Germans directness! So much more convenient to cut to the chase. 🙂
As an example for cold Germans:
Today, after my wife brought the kid to school, the car didn't start. As always, after bad comes worse; the phone battery was empty. So she went to the nearest house and rang there (~8:30 am) to ask if she could phone the ADAC from there. In summary, while she waited for the man in yellow for two hours, she was entertained with coffee, homemade cookies, and conversation from two elderly individuals who invited her to their "Gute Stube". After the car was usable again, my wife went to get them a card and some Belgian chocolate as a thank you.
So no, Germans are neither cold nor rude in general. As everywhere there are all kinds of people here and in general we are as nice as every other Volksstamm out there.
I have another one. 8:30 reminds me of what happened to me last summer, but it was in the evening. I was pushing my MTB up a very steep vineyard and took my gloves off to take a picture of the landscape. Then I was so deep in thoughts that i completely forgot them. At the top of the vineyards i took more pictures and suddenly 'where are my gloves?'
Then is saw a pair (i guess around 70 years of age) coming up the hill with their dog. I said 'Guten Abend' and asked if they have seen gloves on the road a few 100 meters down the hill. They said no, they have driven most of the way up the hill and they have seen nothing. I had 2 ideas where I either had forgotten or lost them. Looked at the spot where I thought I could have lost them and in the meantime the two walked back to their car and drove away. Then i got on my bike and rode down the hill. I wasn't even half way down the hill when a car came up the hill and out of the passenger window i saw someone waving with my gloves.
They could have ignored them, thinking 'he's coming down the hill anyways, why should we bother?' Nope, a few minutes before 9pm they took the time to bring me my gloves...
because you need ask germans for help. many people don't get this.
So sehe ich das auch. Wie eben auch die sehr vielen netten und hilfsbereiten Amerikaner hier in California.
@PG-nf9wx exactly, that's what we are expecting. If someone doesn't ask then we think he/she wants to keep trying without help. Of course there are exceptions, it's different when one can for example clearly see that someone is completely overtaxed. -like the woman that was chasing her dog around the village lake last summer. After half a lap I hopped on my MTB and started blocking the dog's way because i saw that she had ZERO chance to catch him without help. Sometimes we are just watching, ready to help, waiting for the person to ask while 'thinking if he/she doesn't want help then it's not my problem'. -because all of us know, if a German wants help then he WILL ask.
We moved to Germany nearly 4 years ago and enjoy SO much about it here. Our kids education is the only thing that keeps us up at night… ALL my kids have ADHD and Dsylexia. It took us near two years to get any help for them and by that point the oldest two were already stuck in Mittelschule. Now that they have better but far from perfect German skills they are bored, but have decided to just do more activities. My oldest daughter volunteers, is the first schule Sprecherin, a first aid responder for her school on top of her music and sport activities. So all good things. But it’s frustrating watching the way people react to hearing she’s at a Mittelschule. We had to get her IQ tested and she’s the opposite of stupid.
All this is say, I’m sorry there was a struggle with your son. I hope you keep moving in a positive direction. ❤
7:21 The saying, “Germans are too honest to be polite, and Americans are too polite to be honest”, is just a part of how it is.
Thats just the american point of view...fake smiles and friendlyness is seen as impolite in germany while honesty is seen as polite...so from our point of view we could also say that germans are too polite to be not honest while americans are too impolite to be honest. Andere länder, andere sitten🤷♂️
@Hirnie-r1z So where does this put Asian cultures? I live in Thailand and travel all over East Asia and being direct and upfront is considered a big No-No-No. Being polite is being indirect.
Idk where it puts any culture...i was just pointing out that there are different ways of looking at it and that you shouldnt only look at the american point of view. There are places in the world where being inhonest is seen as rude and other places where being honest is rude. I personally will always appreciate a true insult more than a fake smile.
I can vouch for that. People didn’t know what to think of me until they got to know me. My co-workers used to say when someone wanted to ask me a question: if you want an honest answer ask Heike, if you want a nice one don’t bother! However, they really started to appreciate my honesty.
Don’t come back to the states as all these wonderful programs don’t exist anymore in the U.S. as 47 has gutted all of them!
As a Dane, I can appreciate the German approach to being direct, and being more private/selective with who you call a friend.
I’ve started running in the mantra of you have mailbox friends, porch friends, and living room friends. They all have vary degrees of trust and as you get further into your imagined house the criteria becomes much more selective, and don’t be afraid to relegate folks to less intimate levels or drop them all together.
I think everybody to the north or east of Germany acts this way. Be it my Scandinavian or Slavic colleagues, they all prefer honest, direct communication and don't call everybody they know "a friend". So not every foreigner will run into this problem.
And thankfully she didn't find a Danish man, otherwise she would still be confused about the 20 vowel alphabet.
@rainerbernhardt6193 Years ago, I bought a Corvette in Florida, drove around the country for four weeks, and then shipped the car to Germany. When I sat in the office with the salesman, with whom I had previously only exchanged a few emails, he introduced me to his colleagues as “my friend from Germany.” That's the American mentality.
*A Swedish (well, Scanian) nod of approval.*
Welcome to our European family. I am happy and proud you chose us. Greetings from Austria.
BTW - Austrians speak German as well(sort of at least ;-), but Austria is a significantly higher context culture. Disclaimer: am half-austrian myself.
To think if she lived in Austria. She would likely never become Austrian. Kind of sad really. Effectively banning dual citizenship by naturalisation leaves internationals there as foreigners for life in many cases (especially as it's so expensive as well). I was speaking to a old lady a couple of weeks ago who had lived in Graz for 70+ years, she even grew up in Graz and she still wasn't Austrian.
@davedavids57 I think she would become Austrian because the US is one of the very few countries that taxes you even when you live abroad. So I think she would give up her US citizenship, not because of personal reasons but financial reasons.
@ChristopherHH74 I like the Austrian accent. And the Swiss accent too.
@Andreas-pj6np Not really the USA and most countries have a double taxation agreement. So if you pay Austrian tax you don't have to pay tax in the States (although you do have to do a tax return). Added to that to even qualify for Austrian naturalisation they would have to live in Austria for 10 years and as a family have 2,400 euro a month left after all tax, rent and bills (for at least three years prior to naturalisation). Most families don't have a spare 29,000 euros a year after bills. Added to that you would have to pay $5,000 to renounce US citizenship and you would never be able to live or work in the USA again. Even visiting may be difficult.
I genuinely got a bit teary eyed at the passport reveal. Congratulations, love to have you guys here.
It has been a long time coming (soon!) 😊😊😊😊
@TypeAshtonOnce that's done you should germanize your name to Äshton 🤣
@K__a__M__I Autsch. Das schmerzt schon beim Lesen 😆
@TypeAshton btw, any plans for another unscripted "fireside-chat-with-wine" video you did with Jonathan a while back? I quite enjoyed that one.
Ging mir auch so!
I worked with a German customer for a year. We got on well and after that year he proposed that we move from "Sie" to "du". That was a major step. It took a while to make the contact but when I got mononucleosis NONE of my own colleagues checked in on me but he did. Germans do not lightly engage in friendship but when they engage it is wholeheartedly.
Mein Mutter sagte: "Man muss sich mein "Du" erst verdienen". Das amerikanische lessige "You" wird von Deutschen unerfahren im Umgang mit Nordamerikanern bzw Angelsachsen oft als "Freundschaftsangebot" missinterpretiert. Auch die unverbindliche Essenseinladung 😅 der neuen Nachbarn oft seitens freundlicher American ausgesprochen kann dazu führen, dass sie die Crowds oft gar nicht mehr los werden und ständig in ihrem Wohnzimmer sitzen haben....😅
@christophgeorgschmidt1590 Krauts! Nicht 'crowds', Christoph Georg Schmidt! Geburtsdatum ist auch falsch! Du bist niemals 1590 geboren! Ich verlange einen Auszug aus dem Geburtenregister als Gegenbeweis! 😫
Im Ernst aber: Kraut ist eines der wenigen deutschen Worte, dass ins Englische übernommen wurde. So wie Kindergarten, Angst oder Schadenfreude.
Wie man ja in solchen Situationen dann gerne sagt: "Again what learned." 😜
That's just the way Germans do. We take things serious in every regard.
Nicht in eine Schublade schieben translate to something like 'not to give somebody a label' rather than shutting somebody away.
Thank you! Let's give German at least some credit!
Maybe it‘s out of date, but the expression I am familiar with is to pigeonhole someone.
The english phrase is to put someone in a drawer. But not closet, thats something different.
It may be difficult to get friends in Germany but if you have them, you have them for life. Greetings from the Netherlands.
Germans can be very territorial. My grandfather married my grandmother and move to her village. He was considered an out of towner even though he came from another village about 7 miles away. It did not matter he was still Upper Franconian like them.... the local guys never really welcomed him for decades and decades despite my grandfather being a great handyman who was frequently hired for home remodeling and metal work jobs.
I think that depents on in what aria you are in Germany. It's the same in the Netherlands.
@bertoverweel6588 It was referred to the word "landsmann" in Germany. But it was used strictly as a regional term that went a long way for lasting friendship and comradery that was unwritten.
@ericscottstevens My father married my mom in 1965 two months before my birth. She came literally "from the other side (north) of the wupper valley" and was never really accepted. This sometimes had religious background, catholic vs. protestant vs calvinistic/reformiert. back in the last century, it was a great thing to get involved with someone from the other side of church.
@blechgewitter450 My example for my Grandparents was the Steigerwald in Upper Franconia which is predominantly Catholic, I think another factor may have been the war which I recently discovered from the German War Graves commission (Volksbund Deutsche Kriegsgräberfürsorge e.V.) about 25 men from the village died fighting in Russia. Yet my Grandfather made it back as as a Stegaurach native near Bamberg. He may have been seen as a migrant / supplant. So they may have had that resentment about in the post war reconstruction.
I am super happy and proud to have you as a close neighbor. Thx for an excellent channel. I wish you and your family the best. ❤
Best regards from 🇸🇪
As a subscriber since the "Black Forest Family" days of your channel, I love watching the progression of your integration into German society and the effort and analysis that you put into every video. Your work is always thought provoking, well researched, and valuable to your audience. Thank you for sharing your life and experience with us!
Awe, thank you so much! So glad you've been following along from the beginning!
@TypeAshton Und er ist nicht der einzige.
@TypeAshton what Mike said. Und er ist definitiv nicht der einzige! Deine sehr ausgewogene Sichtweise ist etwas, das wir heute dringender brauchen, denn je - vielen Dank dafür!
no way, that was them? :o
I did watch these BFF videos years ago - algorithm somehow brought this channel to me 🙂 thats maybe why it felt somewhat familiar.
^^
WELCOME ASHTON! Es ist schön, dass wir dich haben! You're an ambassador of good will, from any perspective...
You want to find friends in Germany? Become a member in a "Verein" (Club). You like Tennis, Basketball, Soccer? Go and play in a Verein. You like gardening, dogs, collecting stamps, woodworking and so on? Become a member of a Verein!
yes, also music. choirs, bands and such. not to mention breeding pigeons or hanging out at the "hundefreilauffläche"...
Holzwerk-Verein ? Nie gehört :) But , honestly, u are right :)
@frenchingermanyOh yes… Taubenzuchtverein. By the way a great German Word 😅
For a Verein you need time. When you have a job and kids there's no time for Verein, also lass sein.
@MesoScale Zeit hat man generell nicht, man nimmt sie sich!
Herzlich willkommen! Ich habe hier schon öfter geschrieben, dass ich hier so viel über mein Land gelernt habe und ich allen, die immer meckern, diesen Kanal empfehle!
Dito
I completely agree. The shift of perspective helped me to rethink about our country and be happier to live here.
"In eine Schublade stecken" means to label someone because of stereotypes or superficial attributes.
..., plus, it's a hard, usually constant struggle to do things differently beyond said label, and people tend to reallocate you to the label ("gotcha").
Not exactky, pleasant, even when the initial labeling was correct: It leaves but minimsl room for change ("But you always did it this way").
The complete word's concept is worth learning, since it's absolutely common, very precise, and handy.
@ImKinoNichtSabbeln excatly. but surprisingly hard to translate or explain :D
I think in Germany it isn't as bad, but I felt the American culture has that very mich ingrained. In high school: those are the footballers, those are the cheerleaders, those are the nerds etc. We can see it in movies, but in my high school, that's exactly how it was. Really strange. In Germany that was not the case.
pigeonholing
Einsortieren
Deutschland ist nicht immer einfach, wir sind direkt aber haben einen Hang zur Bürokratie um es kompliziert zu machen 😂
Wir meckern gerne, weil wir wissen es kann besser gemacht werden.
Natürlich muss man auch hier manchmal kämpfen um das was man braucht. Aber insgesamt sind wir doch ein netter, zusammengewürfelter Haufen. 😊
Eine sehr deutsche Eigenschaft: "Das geht nicht. Das haben wir noch nie gemacht. Das wurde uns nicht befohlen."
25% von uns sehen das leider mittlerweile anders.
@burninghard Leider ist dem so! 🤬
AfD-Verbotsverfahren so schnell wie möglich!
"Wir meckern gerne, weil wir wissen es kann besser gemacht werden." Wenn es denn wenigstens so wäre. Viele meckern auch nur rum weil es in ihrer DNA liegt bei allem erst einmal nach dem Haar in der Suppe zu suchen selbst wenn es das überhaupt nicht gibt und alles besser zu wissen.
@harrydehnhardt5092 Ich denke die meisten meckern, weil sie mit ihrem Leben im Grunde genommen unzufrieden sind. Wie man sich eben in einer zutiefst ungerechten stressbeladenen Gesellschaft fühlt.
The translation of "Wir werden ihn nicht in eine Schublade stecken" , "we wont put him in a drawer" means something like we won't put him in a categorie. Basically we won't prejudge him and will give him a chance to show his potential.
It's based on a concept called "Schubladendenken" which translates to "drawer thinking" but basically means the same as "pigeonholing".
I‘m German. But my school days started out in a kindergarden in Endicott, NY. After three weeks of kindergarden, they also told my parents: „Sorry, we can‘t do much more for your son. Let‘s see how he does in first grade.“ Some of the best days in my life began. I got to learn to read and write with Dr. Seuss, and take care of our class pet Gerbil. My parents took me and my sis to Niagara Falls, Cape Canaveral, Disney Land - you name it. Then my Grandma got sick and we had to return to Germany - where I got my first culture shock. I‘m a left hander, and I was allowed to write with my favored hand. Not so in Germany. I was forced to write with my right hand. In hindsight it didn‘t hurt, because today I‘m better at martial arts, playing instruments and even hand writing, but back then it wasn‘t that much fun.
Half a year later we went back to the States - this time on the USS United States, a large passenger ship. I met my first girl friend, a diplomats daughter that shared my love for the two cinemas on board. Because the sea was rough, most of the time we were the only ones watching Disney‘s „The Sword in the Stone“ or „The Three Stooges“ in the first or second class theaters. We were also welcomed on the bridge by the captain. If we didn‘t show up after breakfast, he had someone come get us.
The same thing happened when we took a plane to cross the ocean. I remember flying into O‘Hare on the lap of the pilot of the 707. Unthinkable today.
My dad worked in Armonk and Kingston. So we got a house in Woodstock. Library Lane 10. I looked forward to going to school each and every day. We had music and art classes every day. With real musicians and artists. Bob Dylan showed me how to play guitar. His friends let me play on their instruments.
When my dad made his PPL, I was allowed to come along. I made my first solo flight on a Cessna when I was 13 years old. Unthinkable today.
Returning to Germany, I had to skip two school classes, because in Germany they had two years of „Kurzschuljahre“ where they only had half a year to learn what otherwise took a whole year. The idea was to start classes at the same time other countries did. That was the worst time in my life. Creativity wasn‘t valued at all. You had to be punctual and formally correct, not creative and full of ideas. My sister and me wanted to go back to the US so badly, but we couldn‘t. School was hell. We missed our friends and neighbors. We missed the understanding and friendly environment the US gave us at the time.
But somehow we survived. Mom and Dad built a house with a swimming pool, american style fireplace and bedrooms like we were used to. I started to play several instruments and had a school band. Somehow I made peace with my german teachers, even though I still remember their cruelties.
Over time things changed in Woodstock. Every time we came to visit, someone else was gone. Even Bob Dylan had sold his house on the Turnpike for $250,000. The potholes in the roads in Kingston and the holes in the roof of the Holiday Inn were testament to the de-industrialisation and decline of the entire region.
I was on top of one of the two towers three days before 9/11. I was there on my way back after my Mom had died and was buried in Lee‘s Summit, MO. 9/11 changed a lot. I even think it paved the way for some of what is going on today.
We had to fly a certain amount of hours and make 15 outside landings to keep the PPL in Germany. When the weather was bad at takeoff, it was always good when we decided to fly to Freiburg. Even though I almost crash landed on the steel reenforced grass landing field in Freiburg, I loved going there time after time. So I decided to study there.
Of course, I started a band there to play at Mensa parties. After 35 years as an employee of the Albert-Ludwigs-Universität and 15 more as my own boss, I still play in three different bands. And I pass Ashton‘s and Jonathan‘s home almost once every week (in the tunnel) to practice in Kollnau. ✨😎 🎸
I really hope Ashton‘s kids can adapt to Germany’s rigid and outdated school system. I still give classes at a University Clinic, so I know what it does to our students (and my grand children). But I truly hope they‘ll find their way through this - just as I hope the US citizens will find their way through that terrible mess they‘re in right now.
Well from what you tell, you are on the older side (71 or 72y) and your experiences with German schools happened many, many decades ago. The Kurzschuljahre were in 1966/67. I can assure you that the system and styles of teaching changed a lot since then.
@susanneS371 you’re absolutely right. I‘m old. And I did observe that the „styles of teaching“ have obviously changed dramatically. Not one of my students can write correctly. Some make a mistake in every other sentence, but most of them make two mistakes in every sentence. And they have almost no „Medienkompetenz“. They can post videos on Instagram, but they have no idea how to illustrate a „Referat“ or do a proper „Recherche“. What they learn about music is a joke. Most of them don‘t even know what a „Quintenzirkel“ is and what you can do with it. They also excel in biology. Not one with „Abitur“ knew how many valves a human heart has. And don‘t get me started with math and physics. 😄
@richardervinsWas die Ergebnisse angeht, bin ich ganz bei Ihnen.
What Terrible Mess we're in....what the hell are you talking, my Socialist Friend?? We're doing just FINE, DUDE...I would worry more about Germany, I'm sure you have enough to worry about then to get involved in our Country. Don't believe all the Media Bullshit if I were you...Copy that Bud!!
I would distinguish between friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
i love watching your videos... they are always so well researched, at times very personal.... thanks for all the efford.... for me, it means laying back and get some content of high quality...
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and I'm so glad you enjoy the videos.
Oh Ashton, you know us well enough now to not sugarcoat it how difficult it is to make friends here. We know that and we can take it. We like that honesty! 🙂
Establishing genuine friendships for a Berliner in the United Kingdom, or potentially in the United States as well, proves to be equally challenging.
While initial conversations may be relatively easy, progressing beyond the acquaintance or colleague level presents significant difficulty.
In my view, this challenge exceeds that encountered in Germany once the initial familiarity has been established.
@ralf_stahlmann I absolutely believe that. Even after more than a decade I - born in northern Bavaria - struggle to make close friendships even here in Northern Germany as well. It's not always just more or less openness and cultural differences between countries, it can also vary greatly just from place to place or from region to region as well.
Haha!
I've heard it described as a coconut culture. A hard outer shell, with a soft, juicy interior. Unlike a peach culture, where the outside is soft, but there is an inner, hard core.
It takes longer to become friends with a coconut person. But once you've become friends, the coconut milk flows. Then you get ALL the honest truths.
Whereas a friendship with a peachy person comes about much more quickly and easily, there are a core of things you'd rather not talk about. Politics, religion, sex...
As a danish person, I appreciate the courtesy of not bothering other people.
I am a relatively antisocial person that has learned to be superficial as a survival mechanism - I see the 'niceness' as lubricant to allow proximity without anxiety. My mind's conversational tendency borders on Aspergers and my wife has thankfully learned to deal with me well enough that I can relax around her, which is a blessing I cannot describe - the woman is a saint and I love her with all my heart. In public I am constantly on alert and it is exhausting. I don't suggest this is Ashton's issue here, but sugar is my favorite coat with most people, so I empathize.
@lakrids-pibe oh, I had not heard that analogy before and I like it!! I seem to be more of a black walnut type, nasty husk on top of a hard shell with a center nut that most do not find worth the trouble revealing. 😉
That’s partly true about school. I was two years old when my parents came to Germany from Kosova, just before the war broke out there. I was a very dreamy child, so even in primary school I would often daydream and not really pay attention. Because of that, I was placed in the Hauptschule. Later on I became more focused and started paying attention, moved from Hauptschule to Realschule, then to Gymnasium, and eventually went on to study mechanical engineering.
I also think the system of deciding which school you belong to happens too early. But the idea behind it is that you don’t want to hold other children back, and you also don’t want a child to become demotivated if, for years, everyone around them is performing much better than they are.
And as you have proven yourself, the German system is very open for older students and even adults to switch to higher education later on. Then it just takes a few years more. But as a daydreaming kid you would not have had any guarantee that you would have moved through Gymnasium without repeating a year either…
@corneliaippers603 Doch leider ist es erwiesen, dass in Deutschland die Herkunft die Zukunft bestimmt. Ich bin ein Kind des Drei-Stufen-Schulsystems (und bin oben gescheitert), meine Eltern waren so stolz auf mich, als Arbeiterkind auf dem Gymnasium. War auf einem Gymnasium in einer privilegierten Gegend und habe schnell den Unterschied zu meinem Heim-Gymnasium erkannt.
Was ich gut finde, ist der gesamte 2.Bildungsweg mit all seinen Arten, so dass Gescheiterte oder Spätzünder etwas nachholen können. In Bremen konnte man ohne Abi oder Beruf eine Prüfung ablegen und zum Studium zugelassen werden.
Looking forward to you guys joining the team!
True, nearly everybody I know is in a club run by volunteers and a lot of them volunteer themselves, because: I was given, so I am compelled to give back. So they organize a street / block party. Give sports or music lessons to kids. Lead a choir. Teach foreigners german, Run clubs for everything and anything. Are traffic wardens. And, very importantly, are part of fire brigades, the DLRG (water rescue) or the THW (the guys with the big machines and generators after a catastrophy).
This, by the way, is where to find a German friend as an adult! Join a club, engage. The clubs are also often a great mix of young and old, wealthy and poor, highly educated and barely made highschool. They are the glue, that keep Germany together!
Or having kids, that works as well....
Yes! So much of what you described is the social glue that holds Germany together and is so great.
So true! I lived abroad and moved back to Germany. Rejoined a club I participated in 45 years ago. Met a lot of (literally) old friends there again.
This is a very true and underrated comment!
And, depending on where one lives, there are clubs for everything. Sports. Hiking. Choirs. Car-fiddeling. Local history. Music. Even E-Sports..and of course THW and freiwillige Feuerwehr if one really wants to dive into the 'giving back' aspect
I am Swiss and have a notion of "friend" just like the Germans. I lived in Melbourne, Australia, for some time, and there, finally, learnt that "close friend" is the corresponding transition for the German "Freund". So "friend" and "Freund" are actually what language theory calls "false friends": similar-sounding words with quite different meanings. Isn’t that hilarious !
(one of the best examples for this is the Spanish "embarazada" which means pregnant and not embarrassed…)
And the English word pregnant does not translate to "prägnant" which I had to learn the hard way back then in school when I said "he described the situation in short pregnant words" and my teacher gave me the dictionary and told me to look up the word :) (I later studied "Anglistik" in Freiburg btw ;) ).
@itsman1972i see this going horribly wrong with confusing these two 😂 beeing "schnell und prägnant"
Do social media platforms, gameing platforms, etc. translate the "add friend" function wrong to german, just because they also fell for that "false friend"?!
@Polgartano but people probably hesitate more to add you to their friendlist because of its meaning 😉 good question.
@garcipatI'm rather pessimistic. I guess this use of "Freund" in social media will change the meaning also in real life.
I did what you did, but in Switzerland. Arrived single for a job, 38 years later now retired, married with 2 kids attending Swiss universities. Looking back, moving here and naturalizing is the best move I ever made, especially looking at the US now. A big plus: if your kids do attend university it is largely free - in the US you would spend your retirement savings, or put your kids in enormous debt.
This comment thread is such a mess of bots. They are always so easy to spot, I wonder if they have ever actually worked on anyone.
"in eine Schublade stecken" does not mean "shutting someone away into a drawer". In this case it refers to "Schubladendenken" which means thinking in fixed categories. You can hear it often when talking about music. There might be the "drawers" like "jazz" or "opera" or "gothic" and people always try to put music in one of those categories - but sometimes that doesn't work. So what they were saying is: Your child won't be treated like "the Amercian" or "the adhd-child" or the "smart kid" but rather without prejudice just as a child in general. So he will not be put in the drawer "he has adhd" and ignoring all of his other capabilities.
17:13 when putting the social stigma aside: that's exactly what our tiered school system is for. Children that go to gymnasium are expected to understand things by a one time explanation and be capable of working on their own, Realschule has more repeating explanation and Hauptschule is supposed to hold the hands more. The curriculum stays the same, the way in which it is taught differs. Hence your child can progress by finishing Hauptschule and progressing through a Realschul degree to participating in the Abitur years of a Gymnasium and get the same qualification. Alternatively a completed apprenticeship in a trade qualifies them to study in that specific field. E.g. my little brother was a drop out. Learned his trait, enrolled into an university in his field (audiology) afterwards and is now in the process of getting his doctorate. Also in school I had multiple kids that came from a Hauptschule to finish their school education with an Abitur at my Gymnasium. It has quite a lot of social stigma to it, but it isn't a set in stone path and from its motivation it caters exactly to the kind of educational approach you champion. Everyone I know that went to Hauptschule (which are admittedly not that many, but still a good hand full) has managed to get themselves an academical degree.
18:16 suffering myself from ADHD with persistence into adulthood: that won't hold your child back. The school system is more about how independent your child can learn, however it doesn't bar them from any future opportunities as described above. As I said, even my brother, who never finished highschool, managed to get an education in a trade and gain his academical qualifications that way and is in a doctorate program.
Don't look at the social stigma and the perceived opportunities taken away and focus more on the actual intent behind the structure. It is meant to accommodate different needs and there is no stone ceiling in German education. Everyone who wants to study gets to study, it just might take your kid a different route or a couple of years longer (though then again Oberstufe, so where you gain your Abitur takes 3 years and so does the average apprenticeship, so if your child finds a field of passion right after normal school (grade 10), he won't even be disadvantaged in terms of time and end up with more qualification in his field of expertise than someone who went to a Gymnasium. Gymnasium opens you all academic paths, but every form of school can land you in academic education)
Oh and there are also multiple different approaches towards education in German schools, the majority is of the traditional humanitarian approach, however there are also others. With ADHD I would for example also look at the "Waldorf" school approach, as that type of schools put a lot more emphasis on personal expression and physical activity in class (the stereotype is that all they do is to learn how to dance their names, but again it's not something that will hold your child back and will earn him his university qualification - so it might be just what he needs with the inner unrest that comes with ADHD)
My parents went with the following rule for us: "it doesn't matter what you do, but you have to do something" - and with that approach all three of us ended up with an academic degree. The German education system really is quite accommodating to different needs and offers a variety of paths towards a professional education and as long as you do something there will always be new paths opening within the system to further your education. Noone is trapped by the type of school they are send to, they are just alternative paths, catered to alternative needs towards the end goal of having a professional qualification. So don't worry to much about it or think of it as a tier system but look at what the different forms offer and think about what your child needs. The children that were forced into the gymnasium against all recommendations by their parents all dropped out in the first two years and were put into a different school level, though with the trauma of having failed their parents' expectations. It's not about personal prestige, it's about the needs of the child and as long as you approach our education system with that in focus your children will do just fine and find their own way in life.
Quick note on the German saying: nicht in eine Schublade stecken
It doesn't really translate to "shutting him away"
It is more along the line of: "we are not imprinting on him a set of prejudices"
Hard to say, but in essence it means they are (trying) not giving him a label.
"Schubladendenken" is in essence German Umgangssprache on "biased thinking"
And on schooling: there are alternatives to the regular school journey in Germany. Although I am not specifically a fan of it, Waldorfschulen are quite common in the south and focus more on the child's individual development. Its a bit more on the esoteric side, true, and it has a bit of a bad NS history, but frankly, so does the regular school system but I know a lot of people that flourished in them where they failed previously in the regular school system.
Excellent comment! Phrases like this often contain so much cultural connotation that they are hard to translate. Imho, you nailed it (Du hast den Nagel auf den Kopf getroffen, now that one was easy).
@thomasschmidt8544better than "wie die Faust aufs Auge" ... Which can serve the same purpose or THE EXACT OPPOSITE. God, i love this language
This! So much! Also Gesamtschulen are the quintessence of that kind of thinking. You "simply" progress as far as you are able to and leave with the degree you aquired along the way. No, "Oh, so went 13 years to the Gymnasium but botched the final exam? Too bad, so sad, move along loser.". You will always have the previous degree as a fallback.
Maybe your son should join a sport club when he is older. It's good for character and physical development as well as for socializing.
@Michael-dq9csI think you might want that comment into the overall comment section
German adult who struggled with undiagnosed cPTSD and ADD here.
I faced a similar problem after Grundschule: "Your child is eager, smart, curious. But she has so many issues. She cries so easily, she shuts down, she distracts other kids and herself. Honestly, I think a Hauptschule will be all we can get her to finish."
I subsequently attended a Gesamtschule, simply because it opens SO many doors. It is the most flexible schoolastic education offered, and for a kid with some serious issues growing up, it was heaven-sent.
I finished my Abi with a 2.6 while carrying all my many undiagnosed issues and without outstanding help from parental figures.
I will forever be a fan of that school.
@WishStone. That is pfantastich. Please keep telling your story because others need to hear that they are not hopeless!
@williamjohns9322 It's probably easier today.
Thanks for sharing 💜
Thanks for Sharing. In Baden-Württemberg Hauptschule did Not Stop you from having a career later. I met several Hauptschüler studying at University (Fachhochschule). Afaik there are almost no Hauptschule here anymore. But good if Gesamtschule does a similar job.
I was the opposite, high flyer and then broken (by other reasons); I think that was the aftermath of the Second World War, we have so many traumatized teachers, old maps with Hitler's dream places and borders, singing "alt-deutsche" (Soldaten-)Lieder. Nobody cares for the individual; the group has to function.
19:00 As a German with dyslexia, I can only say: YES, our German school system is not bad, but there is A LOT of room for improvement.
I'm sure that's true but, I wouldn't be surprised that that's also true of every school system on Earth! And yes, I am sure we could learn a lot from each other.
I think that holds true for many developed countries
@ruschein Maybe the Germans weren't bombarded with the toxic shots that American children were forced to take that have caused so many neurological and physical issues like autism, ADHD and allergies etc that the US school system HAD to deal with thanks to big Pharma. 🤨
A RUclips video once said: 'German education system is designed to make childrfen a valuable and productive part of society.'
This sounds cruel and inhumane, but of course it isn't. But yes, German education requires the will to participate. This may happen later, once a person realizes that he or she has missed some chances. Even as an adult Germany offers you options to improve your life.
@lagringa7518 All of those neurological problems you mentioned are proven to be genetically inherited - in other words, the person had them since they were born.
The myth that vaccines are responsible for autism, ADHD and other 'similar' problems has been debunked again and again.
And it stems from a person who a) wanted to sell his own vaccines and diagnostic methods and b) got payed to 'produce' those test results (which have also been disproven).
In Deutschland gibt die Gruppe der „Bekannten“ lit. „Someone-I-Know“.
In Dutch we say kennissen and I was thinking of a word in English, but I think they use friend for anyone they know.
I’m German and spent a total of 18 years living and working in three different U.S. states, so I recognize many of the experiences you describe-just from the other side. Your point about socializing before meetings and those infamous water-cooler chats really resonated with me, especially how they help build relationships and make collaboration easier at work.
I learned this lesson the hard way during my first role in the U.S. headquarters of a company I’d joined in Germany right after university. After three months, my supervisor called me into her office. She praised my expertise and productivity-particularly because I reliably left after eight hours instead of lingering like everyone else. “But,” she added, “you don’t seem approachable.”
To really fit in and get ahead, I needed to learn to “relax” my German focus and start to hang out with my coworkers. This concept is just as foreign to a German, even if she isn’t introverted, as the German directness and bluntness is to Americans.
...COVID and home office ruined it all. Although my division had a daily online meeting during COVID, I still felt like I was losing touch with my work environment. Rather than calling someone, I normal walk to their office to talk. I remember hearing it takes many months for employees to become familiar with their coworkers; I normally was connected with all of my 100-200 coworkers within a month. My last assignment after COVID and before retiring was very different. The organization felt very disjointed, people actively isolated themselves, I was reprimanded for leaving my door open during the day (no policy, just culture). The world has changed.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was well over 40. I struggled throughout my school career but managed to get a mediocre Abitur. I was not sure to study right away so I became an aircraft mechanic after 3 years of vocational training. After that I studied and became aeronautical engineer. I went to school in the 80ies and 90ies without all the diagnostic possibilities with regard to ADHD and I succeeded nevertheless. Key to my success was that I have parents who supported me all the time and believed in me.
Der letzte Satz ist der wichtigste.
I've been living in Austria for 34 years now as I was tired of living in LA, and had originally planned on moving to Australia, but destiny had other plans for me.
I sold as much of my things as possible before shipping the rest to Europe, starting my adventure, hook, line and sinker. No job, no visa, no place to live, etc., but was able to start off working at a theater, allowing me to be granted an artist visa, allowing me to go around the system. For the most part I worked freelance, though in my last 10 years of work, was granted full time teaching at a technical university. Having something to offer which others don't have, gave me opportunities which was helpful.
My daughter is an echte Wienerin, went to Austrian, schools, finished her schooling at an HTL. Though she was not interested in going to University, which would have been free for her, she eventually decided a few years later to attend one of the many technical universities, which allowed her to have a semester abroad, which she did for both her Bachelor's and Master's degrees. The first being Korea, and this past year, China, having spent 6 months in each country. Due to her interests, she is a native German speaker, followed by English, Italian, Japanese, Korean and Chinese, which she is fluent in the three Asian languages. All of my friends are Austrian and have known them for years.
I finally decided to get my Austrian citizenship a few years ago, and like Ashton, a first interview would have been 11 months into the future, living in Vienna. I moved 7 years ago to Carinthian close to the Austrian Italian border, and got an appointment within 3 weeks, then went through the process, and after renouncing my US citizenship, while being stateless for 3 months, I went in to be sworn in as an Austrian ca. 3 years ago.
Being diverted from my initial desire to move to aussie land, was the best decision I have ever made.
I have lived on 4 continents, in 6 countries and on an island, 47% of my life overseas, thankful for having had an interesting life. Greetings from the Carinthian Alps.
Mica male come curriculum
....
Tell the truth - when you left the US the aircraft for Australia and Austria were parked next to each other and you simply got on the wrong aircraft.
Na dann - Lei Lei!
lol😂, the opposite feeling when I was in the USA. Everyone calls you ‘my friend’ while they’re not a friend but more an acquaintance in my point of view. So funny, from a first instinct you view those experience so solid from what you grew up with. But later you realize it just a culture thing, not wrong, just different. But… (hahaha) a friend is still ‘more’ than a acquaintance
In my experience, most Usonians have ulterior intentions, professional or commercial, when they call you a friend and just as easily forget you when such intentions are not met.
Ich schreibe hier (wahrscheinlich) zum ersten mal auf deutsch. Wir waren vor 11-12 Jahren eingebürgert. Das war damals, nach dem wir mit unserem Studium in Deutschland fertig waren und unsere Zukunft hier konkreterisieren wollten. Ja, es kann von einer Stadt zu anderer so unterschiedlich sein. Aber damals hat der Oberbürgermeister von Stuttgart zwei mal jährlich in einer Zeremonie die Einbürgerung gefeiert. Es wurde gesungen, interessante Biografien wurden erzählt, es gab ein Buffet. Das war ein ganz emotionaler Moment für uns, nach 12 Jahren in Deutschland... Und zur Schattenseiten: wir kommen auch aus einem anderen Land und mit dem "Schublanden"-Thema haben wir auch zu kämpfen. Ich finde es noch immmer ganz kritisch, dass die Kinder in der Grundschule nach 4 Jahren sortiert werden. Ich komme aus einem Land, wo wir zwar nach 4 Jahren Schule gewechselt haben, aber die Kinder wurden nicht getrennt. Wir haben keine Großeltern hier, wir hatten zwar noch einen guten Kindergarten, aber jeder Elternteil will das beste für eigenes Kind und wir müssen dafür viel investieren. Liebe Ashton, ihr seid nicht allein beim Thema und ich wünsche euch nur viel Geduld und Nerven.
Liebe Grüße aus Stuttgart
Wow - ich wünschte mehr Muttersprachler beherrschten die deutsche Sprache wie sie.
Wir Deutsche finden unser Schul-und Betreuungssys
tem für Kinder auch nicht so groß
artig, besonders dann wenn das Kind sich mit irgendwas schwer tut. Es kommt wirklich auf die Schule an und besonders auf die Lehrer. Vielleicht kann man eine deutschsprachige Ersatzomi oder Kindersitterin engagieren, damit ihr an einem Tag in der Woche auch zu Hause Deutsch
sprecht. Das könnte ein biß chen Druck rausnehmen.
Wenn man Kinder hat, lernt man eigentlich auch durch die Kinder Freunde kennen.
Nur nicht auf geben und vor allem, die Schuld nicht bei sich selber suchen
In Berlin the Kids are 6 years in Grundschule. I absolute agree, that we don't need more than one secoundary school type, better a Gemeinschaftsschule including Grundschule and Sekundarschule/Gymnasium. And education should be federal law, not state law as it is.
A good but not well known opportunity in Germany is the Nicht-Schüler-Prüfung (non-pupil-exam). Everyone has the opportunity and the right to obtain any school qualification through self-study.
Schön, dass Ihr bei uns seid. Alles Gute 😊
6:10 There is this wonderful word "acquaintance" ("Bekannte/r") that is exactly for that purpose. Love it!
I Agree/Ich stimme zu. Maybe the term “friend “ is a bit less meaningful in the US compared to other places.
Addition:
Usually, specifically younger make folks (beginning with millenials) call un-close friends that they still like somewhar "Kollegen" despite never having worked together.
Realising this ca 10+ years ago solved a annoying puzzle for me: "Where the heck did these 2 idiots ever worked closely?"
Jokingly, I think "with the advert of millenials Freundschaft died".
As German to me a Freund is someone I'd die for if necessary, no questions asked.
If an okd friend calls me after 20 years not having seems him/her, I won't hesitate.
If anything is more eternal than marriage, it's Freundschaft.
I think, Japanese people entertain a similar concept.
@ImKinoNichtSabbeln Ein Freund ist ein Schatz.
On the education system, please note that it isn’t as impermeable between the different paths than it looks. For instance, the Abitur (highest secondary school license) doesn’t preclude vocational training, and while it’s harder to achieve, you can get to the Abitur starting out from a Realschule or Hauptschule secondary school, if it becomes apparent that you’re just a bit of a slow starter and exceeding the expectations at a later stage. And since higher education is basically free, everyone will be able to exploit any potential that they display during their school career.
Nonetheless, the early selection of the secondary school is admittedly somewhat problematic, and favours children from German families with an academic background. And for the past decades, reforms have struggled to find solutions to this, complicated also by the fact that in the German federal system, it’s the Land that is in charge of the school system. In theory, the systems are designed to be socially just, in practice, many regional governments focus on accommodating the expectations of their supposed electoral supporters - conservatives will put an emphasis on “elite”, progressive governments on “integration”, and both will justify these claims with largely symbolic policies, while there is a continuous underinvestment in the education system, compared with the Scandinavian and the advanced Asian countries, for example.
Actually, the principle of inclusion applies in schools. I think that everything should remain open until the 8th grade, i.e. for about 13 years.
However, this means that talented students become bored. I also see a problem in that parents do not respect the pace of learning and do not accept that children have to repeat grades.
The truth is that if teachers constantly have to take care of slow learners, they do not have time to recognize and encourage exceptional talents and gifted students.
@mg7990 the error is probably to see school as something like office work, in terms of productivity and transfer of knowledge. If you have talent and interest for something, as a kid, there is plenty of room outside of school to learn and practice.
But if you don’t have the social and material background to do so, and school is your only opportunity… you need exceptional teachers to make up for that, and as in any profession, they are rather the exception than the rule.
@thomasalbrecht5914
That's true, talented students always get ahead, but they can't achieve top performance without support.
But learning isn't always fun. You learn the basics (boring)
And then you can apply them to do exciting things.
And of course, a good degree is no guarantee that you'll get on in life. But school is good training for getting on in society later on.
@mg7990 It is a tough balance. The disastrous US education policy "No Child Left Behind" reduced education to the lowest common denominator. I suggest public education should target the middle ground, while offering opportunities for remedial as well as advanced students. I was fortunate to attend a progressive school that permitted students to take classes according to their ability, higher as well as lower, without having to either repeat or skip an entire grade. In my case, in 10th grade I was taking 12th grade STEM classes and 9th grade English (I just didn't like English class). Yes, students must complete all state requirements to graduate, but you weren't stuck in classes that were either boring or incomprehensible just because of an arbitrary numbering system.
@just4funallday508
Yes, I understand that sounds like a good system, but it still requires good teachers who motivate you in English, for example, because taking the easier classes out of laziness isn't so good either.
We live in a meritocracy where children have to find their place.
Neither extreme pressure nor no demands are good.
As you say, a balance would be best.
Polish person here.
As for 'friend' - I remember when a coleague of mine was dating an American girl and she did learn fairly good level of Polish, good enough to explain simple stories. At some point we are having a dinner and she tells us a story (in Polish, to practice) sometimes asking us for a missing word. At some point she forgot a word for 'an enemy' so asked, and each of the six of us translated it differently: 'nieprzyjaciel' (literally 'not-a-friend' - technical emotionless term, most common in the military parlance), 'oponent' (someone who is agains us, but still respects the rules of the fight), 'przeciwnik' (someone who might not respect the rules of the fight, but respects the ceasefire or truce), 'obcy' (technical, used eg. when describing fried-of-foe automatic systems), 'wróg' (driven by hatered, non-rational, cannot be reasoned with, cannot be negotiated with, cannot be trusted in what he signs or declares).
Anyway, it was a funny experience. We started laughing that just as Inuit have many different words describing snow, or just like Pacific islanders have many words describing waves - people living on the central european flatlands have many words for 'enemy'.
So interesting
Phantastic words!
Wow, I didn’t know! Thanks!
You are also using a Latin word (oponent). This expands your vocabulary options.
Nepřítel, oponent, protivník, soupeř, rival, konkurent, odpůrce... Greetings from Czechia 😀And I am sure my words have inspired you for some more polish ones, didn't they?
Our son was also diagnosed with ADHD (ADHS) and his whole journey through the school system was quite rought and required one or the other detour. However, he finally got his Bachelor's degree in industrial engineering with a focus on electrical engineering and his Master's degree in business informatics. I'm sure your son will achieve his goals too.
My definition of friend: Someone who can call me in the middle of the night saying "I need your help" and I would instantly drive across the country without having to know why.
Even more: "I need your help. Bring plastic bags, rope and a shovel... "
@FrankenSpielt 🤣
Dies ist ein inhaltsloser, aber solidarischer Unterstützungskommentar.
Klapskopp! ;-)
Nur dann 'inhaltslos' wenn man nicht an Selbstreflexion und Kritik interessiert ist !
@dyalsingh7803 Bitte erläutere das.
@solizwiegenkinds7047 Sie listet jede Menge Erlebnisse auf und vergleicht die beiden Kulturen miteinander. Was soll denn Daran bitte inhaltslos sein?
Aber manche scheinen ja Schwierigkeiten Damit zu haben, sich selbst und andere einmal im Spiegel betrachten zu können/müssen.
@dyalsingh7803 Der eigene Kommentar wurde als inhaltlos beschrieben, nicht das Video. 😆
Nice to see high quality content on RUclips.
I'm going to give it a meh. Nothing really new here. Germans are more complex than this. Using your Dr. title out of context fits right in, lol... I wish her the best!
Hello Ashton,, can’t believe 7 years has already passed. I’ve loved watching you from the beginning and love your videos still. You are such an inspiration and I wish you and your family all the happiness and success you deserve. ❤
Awe thank you so much!!! ❤ so glad to have you following from the very beginning.
herrlich was positives zu hören
My close friends have a grandson, now 11, who is fiercely intelligent, curious, but also encumbered by pretty severe ADHD and also needs speech therapy. We here in Croatia moan about the quality of schools, healthcare, everything, but I am happy to repost that this little fellow got all support he needed in school, both from his regular teachers as a dedicated "assistant", a person paid by the school, assigned to help hims fit in.
Good luck with your citizenship. I moved to France from the UK eight years ago and it's been a great experience. I regularly ride the B500 through the Black Forest... fantastic scenery.
I have been following your journey for years and this video compelled me to submit my first ever RUclips comment. As a fellow U.S. immigrant to Germany, I am so very happy for you. Every day I count my blessings that I have the privilege to live in this beautiful country.
Thank you.
Wir brauchen Menschen, die uns voranbringen, egal, woher sie kommen.
Thanks for another great video.
So glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching.
I am first generation Canadian with most of my family still in Germany. I really an relate to this context
To talk about your son: Opportunity won't be taken from him.
My son has high-functioning autism.
The normal Grundschule didn't want to take him, so he had to go to a Sonderschule although he is above average in his intelligence.
Yes, he is bored often.
But he has 7 classmates and 2 teachers.
At one point he had a Schulassistenz.
This year he makes his Hauptschulabschluss.
If he wants, he can add 2 more years and have his Mittlere Reife.
And if he wants, he can go 3 years to the "berufliches Gymnasium" like his mother did and get Abitur.
Then he will have the identical degree after 14 years of school like his sister, who went to Gymnasium directly, got after 13 years.
And we as parents, at this point, haven't paid a dime for his education yet.
And the quality of his school won't be dependant on the school district.
Even if your son will decide to make Abitur and go to University at age 40, he won't get into debt because of it.
I don't know what's the problem of your child is, and I don't want to speculate. But do you really believe, in the US he would have had better opportunities if you were poor?
And if you are rich you can always hire a private tutor or put him in a private school, like Montessouri, Reforschule, Waldorf, ... in Germany, too.
Little comment on the Schublade thing. Not sure if you know it, if you did, ignore me, but "jemanden in eine Schublade stecken" is a saying in Germany basically meaning to put someone in a box or to categorize someone. To not do that means not just slapping a single label on a person and treating them just based on that. So it's less directly about restrictions and more about prejudice and not letting that influence oneself.
But wow!! The opportunities to accept and take on these international 'challenges' so much help you grow! From an American in The Netherlands - so recognize your story. Crossed the Atlantic three times! The world is our domain! And school of life! So fun! Success with the channel and with life!
Hello Ashton. German ADHD Guy here. Most people with ADHD are very intelligent and creative. But they need a lot of exercise. They can't sit around in boring school all day listening to a 45-minute explanation of a topic that they easily understand after five minutes. As soon as you're ‘different,’ the German school system has a problem with you. (I have ADHD myself, and so do my two boys. We all managed to get our A-levels and had access to higher education, but it wasn't easy for any of us.) Unfortunately, it's also a question of persistence. Stay strong. Stick together. Resist...
That's not a friend but an acquaintance. A friend you can depend on in your time of need.
17:31 When you started about school, struggles and needing ´more´ for your child, ADHD was the first thing that popped up in my mind. I think very few schools and teachers know how to deal with neurodivergent people. Reference: me and my two genetically burdened daughters.
Das kann ich nur unterstreichen. Wobei gesagt werden muss das ADHS (ADHD) today is better known than 50 years before. I hope people learn more about it and helps more ten being nerves.
Same here. It's the reason I got together with two other (foreign born) moms and we founded an organization in Vienna for people with ADHD 27 years ago.
I remember so well how our child 's primary school teacher said : "had I known that, I wouldn't have recommended Gymnasium" after I told her, on the last day of school about the diagnosis and treatment.
Many adults that attend our meetings have had similar or worse incidents during childhood and youth. But!! I also hear that from ex-pats. So the same could have happened State-side, especially if one is of a minority, or speaks another language at home.
I wish you, as ever, all the best. Have followed you from the Black forest family days!❤
i feel like you dont complain enough to become german.
I have a guy from spain as coworker and he is like this is shit and why is that so slow and why is it so cold and grey and that is not working properly and so on. i was like "dude you fit right in here, you dont even speak proper german but you have the right attitude".
When ever i watch your videos they all have such a positive spin to everything, while when you speak to germans its more like even the most positive things are told as if they could have been better.
I lived my first 11 years in what is now Czechia. We are very much a complaining culture; it is how we make conversation. Boy, did that clash with people in the US.
I never thought about it, but looking back, on the „difficult“ child I was, I can really see what you mean by being given up on early based on not fitting into the expected norms by various educational institutions at a younger age. Thankfully I performed well enough academically that even negative comments on the „recommendation thingy“ after the fourth grade by the teachers who struggled with me in the Grundschule didn‘t prevent me from going to a Gymnasium.
But yeah, I can see that being a highly frustrating thing as a parent if teachers/schools arent willing/motivated and/or equipped to deal with a child that is outside of the expected norm or their comfort zone.
Something that you maybe aren‘t aware of is that even after the regular vocational school system path you still have opportunities to go to universities and study via various means. I‘d describe it as a catch up system maybe? But basically further educational achievments can be used to „raise“ your „level“ to a point where universities or other educational paths that ask for certain qualifications will accept you despite never having gone to a Gymnasium. It‘s difficult to explain and probably varies from region to region and is rather individual to each person. But yeah, be aware that going to Hauptschule doesn‘t mean your child can‘t become successful as an adult and on the flipside going to a Gymnasium or university doesn‘t mean you will become successful. Very generally put: it‘s probably better to be in a „lower“ school where you can get good grades to build upon rather than going to a „higher“ one if you only barely make it and end up with grades you can‘t use to apply with anywhere for anything.
I hope everything will go swimmingly with the citizenship for you all.
We had similar experiences with the school system, resulting in our first-born finishing primary school with an expensive private school. It all came down to people in the end, even in a system as highly organised as the German one. Our second son's first-grade teacher made school hell for him. After some healing, he now gets along a lot better. I am glad that you found a better opportunity for your son.
I visited Europe in August 1990 with my girlfriend and her parents. We went to many cities including Munich. I hope to go back some day. Good video. Thank you.
From guy diagnosed 20ish years ago with adhd and a German I hope I can elevate your fear for your kid a bit, there will always be teachers that see your kid for what he is, an inquisitve young boy with special needs. I didn't follow the tradiotional German education path and made my ABitur later in life and still got a university degree in a field I really like a lot.
It wasn't an easy journey and my mum fought a lot for me and others like me, but now at least better ressoureces should be in place all over Germany.
Could it be that you meant 'alleviate your fear' ?
@PeterPritzl yes english spelling wil be my downfall one day.
@betaich
Just blame it on the automatic spelling correction 😉
I think everybody knew what you meant after reading on a bit …
Having two little guys with ADHD. I would like to suggest to get your Kids tested for it BEFORE they go to Grundschule. If it is confirmed it will give you way more options in school. For instance the teachers have to allow for personalized assistance. That may go from a bit more leeway during class to an Integrationshelfer who accompanies your Kid during classes. ….just saying there are ways to help even in German school systems. Rules may also vary dependent on the Bundesland.
But they are notes in the grades about the handicap and the helping, it is not always good to let the future employers know, how you get to your grades, only with helping. This the case in the South, to let the future employer know, that he gets these grades only with outside help, not by himself.
So the life will not be easier on the Job Market in the future, for that kids, when there are adults.
A Grade B with Help is not always better as a C without help.
It is like a driver license, which says to wear glasses.
thats a common misinformation. As long as the kids write the same test and exams nothing will appear on reports. And by the way no employer will give a f*** about the grades in Grundschule anyway. It is important though that the kids learn the skills. If some kids need more support than others when they start their school education so be it. If that means they can learn with less frustration it is a win for everybody involved.
Wow, both well researched and delivered as well as a captivating story. I hope you and your husband get your passport!
Thanks for the kind words! So glad you enjoyed the video.
@TypeAshtonwhat I would be interested in... How did your families, your friends and former colleagues in the US react when you were telling them about you plans to emigrate to Germany and even to own German citizenship? Do they like the idea or do the call you traitors? 😊
They are all really happy for us and think it’s cool. They recognize that after all of these years that we want to stay and make it permanent. The dual citizenship just makes it all the more easier for us to do long term planning.
Why Dual citizenship??? Hedging your bets??? You're happy in Germany, stay there..I here Socialism is the way to go???? GOOD LUCK!!!!
18:01 Germany does not have a single school system. It varies by state (Bundesland). Some states transfer their kids at the 7th grade to secondary schools while others may have a middle school (grade 5 and 6) and then sorted into secondary schools. So it's not a general thing in Germany at all.
Hey Ashton, first off congratulations.
Regarding your worries with school. Do not worry too much about the supposed rigidity of the German school system, it's way more flexible than it seems and is usually presented. There are plenty of people who go to university who didn't go to "Gymnasium" at first, even plenty who first go to "Hauptschule". Some even don't ever do their "Abitur" as they go into a job first and do their "Meister" which also entitles you to go for an masters degree. I also know a lot of people who got pushed by their parents to go to "Gymnasium" (in the end, what the teacher say is just a suggestion and the parents decide) who failed there.
I'm personally glad my parents never did put that pressure onto me, as even in "Realschule" i was quite bad in everything but math until grade 8 (4 or D in all subjects) where things picked up and i eventually graduated with mostly A's a few B's and a single C (in German) and then did my "Abitur" at a "berufliches Gymnasium" which is an "Gymnasium" that specializes into a specific field f.e. mine offered different profiles regarding economics. "normal" Gymnasiums do that as well, but usually in more traditional academic fields like arts or languages. My profile was business IT and math for example. This doesn't lock you in for later, but it prepares you for either going into the field or studying in that field. I also went to university to study business IT and i had a major advantage compared to the people from a "normal" Gymnasium for at least the first year. If i went into another field i'd started at the same point as my fellow students, which a lot of my classmates did, only 3 of them went into IT, the rest did very different things, one became a detective, one studied law and is now a judge, one went into social sciences etc.
Also companies often prefer those people to those who did a purely academic career, as their schooling was a lot more practically oriented and a lot of people in these companies have a somewhat skeptical view of people who had an purely academic path. On the other hand, if you trying a purely academic path, then it's the other way around. It's not like one is "better". Just try to find the best path for your kids needs and goals.
And obviously you can always have good or bad luck with teachers, you did exactly the right thing, just try to switch school/class if the impression is that the teacher is the issue. I repeated grade 3 because my teacher hated me. Nobody ever asked about it, not once.
At the same time, even if the teacher would be right that your son could use some additional support, it would in no way impede yours or Jonathans quality as a parent. So if you ever feel like it's the case that you need additional help, don't be ashamed about it, get it. Doing so is the sign of a good parent, not a bad one. So keep that in mind, if it is ever becoming relevant to you :)
In Serbo-Croatian we have like 3 different words for what Americans call "friend", depending on the ammount of familiarity and/or closeness. You could add even more nuance and/or gradation if you include colloquial terms. It basically goes like: poznanik - a person I know; drug - a friend; and prijatelj - a true friend, almost bordering on family. You can augment "drug", by saying "drugar" which is a more fun and informal kind of a friend. Or you can even formalise it by making a prijatelj a kum(a), which basically makes them a member of the family; or sometimes "pobratim"/"posestra" (depending on gender), which basically means we consider eachother so close that we are in effect siblings (that one is quite rare, tho). From what I've seen Americans do seem to throw the words "friend" and "love" around quite flipantly, and I don't feel it's condusive to forming deep bonds with people.
We have something similar in Dutch. Bekende is someone you know. Kennis is an acquaintance. Vriend is a male friend and Vriendin is female friend. Hartsvriend or goede vriend is a close or good male friend or bestie. hartsvriendin is the same but female. And we have jeugdvriend(in), a friend you have since childhood (jeugd means youth).
@RealConstructor Ooh, I like the "jeugdvriend" one. It trully is a category of its own - a circle of its own on the Venn diagram of human relationships. It does feel like it fully deserves to have its own term. Germanic languages are quite nifty in their ability to easily coin new words.
@RealConstructorthat's like Bekannter (acquaintance) in German. We also have Jugendfreund (youth friend).
Herzensfreund is a word we're sadly lacking though! We do have "enger Freund" (close friend) and Kumpel (pal/mate) though.
@xrimn9294Bekannder is almost like the Swedish Bekant it means the same.
Thats interesting, but you’re completely incorrect about Americans.
Quatsch, du kannst dein Kind in die Realschule schicken und dann ins Gymnasium. Es gibt viele Wege und alles ist offen.
Theoretisch ja. Aber die Statistik sagt klar, dass es im Vergleich zu anderen Ländern viel zu wenig passiert.
Man fängt einen Satz nicht mit "Quatsch". Das ist nicht "deutsch-direkt", sondern einfach nur unhöflich.
18:28 When I was in kindergarten here in Germany, it was already clear that I was neurodivergent. Informally I had gotten an autism diagnosis, but, thanks to INTENSIVE integrative therapy ("Frühförderung") which required a lot of time and effort on behalf of my mom, the psychologists and pediatricians refrained from giving me a formal diagnosis... Arguing that having that label would lead to teachers not giving me my fair shot. They also said that they couldn't make a call on if I'd manage school, if I could make it to a Gymnasium eventually, but that they didn't rule it out.
Granted, this was the late 90s, but that field hasn't progressed that much in Germany, sadly, same with teachers' attitudes.
I did manage to go a Gymnasium and entered university and did relatively okay... Ignoring some periods where I overexerted myself. Oh, and as an adult I now do have a formal autism diagnosis. Plus an ADD diagnosis, too. It really sucks that your son is facing friction from the side of his teachers. Hopefully you'll find and keep access to resources and methods of assistance for him to keep all paths open for him.
I have being watching you for the last 3 years, and I always feel related with your videos, this one touches me specially cause I have being going through similar issues with my kids, thanks for let me see that we are not the only ones, and thank for doing such a great content!! Keep doing it!!
So glad to hear that you find the videos relatable and that it's helpful to see you're not alone! Always appreciate you for following the channel for so long.
I live in Austria, and one of my nephews also had hyperactivity syndrome when he was young (and believe me, it really was). Today, he's almost thirty, a specialist in catering machinery (a trained car mechanic), a forester in his home region of Waldviertel, and also a hunter (a certified hunter). He's renovating his deceased grandparents' house and has bought the neighboring house and outbuildings, which he's also renovating. Such a diagnosis isn't the end of the world if you tackle it the right way! Today, my nephew is rather quiet but hardworking.
Hi Ashton,
So the next video will be entirely in German?
Bold move. Very bold. I hope you’re ready for the comment section to turn into a Goethe-themed Hunger Games 😂
I really love your content, and I admire how precisely you capture the German mindset. Honestly, sometimes I think you understand Germans better than many Germans do. I’ve lived in the Netherlands for over 20 years now, and I’ve had my fair share of “cultural misunderstandings” here too - mostly caused by me overthinking things that absolutely did not require overthinking. A very German hobby.
About your kids and the whole education drama:
From the outside, it looks like Germany decides your child’s entire future in 4th grade.
Like: “Congratulations, Timmy, you wrote ‘Schmetterling’ wrong - enjoy your new career in forklift logistics.”
But in reality, it’s not that dramatic.
Germany actually has a ton of different paths to get a good education. It’s like a giant educational IKEA: many routes, some confusing, but eventually you end up with something functional.
Every European country has its own system, and that’s great. Kids can switch paths later, sometimes even across borders. Here in the Netherlands, I see kids taking German classes and jumping into the German system - and German kids doing the opposite. Changing direction at 15 or 17 is totally normal. Europe is basically one big educational buffet.
It’s not about being the best at everything. It’s about finding the path that fits, preferably one without too many existential crises.
In Germany, I never felt someone was deciding my fate. It felt more like:
“We’ve looked at your strengths, your weaknesses, and your handwriting… and we think this might be a good direction.”
A gentle nudge, not a life sentence.
Here in the Netherlands, people often struggle because the system is very individualistic. In Germany, the question is more: “What fits you, and how does it work for society?”
Which, honestly, isn’t a bad thing - unless you’re allergic to structure.
And of course, all of this is just my opinion, the ramblings of an old man who’s been living outside Germany for far too long. One thing that is undeniably great: your kids are growing up multilingual. Two languages already, and probably more to come. That’s a superpower.
Anyway, thanks for all your content, and please stay exactly as you are.
I hope I wasn’t too direct with this long message, but that’s what happens when you grow up in Germany and then spend decades in the Netherlands. The directness levels stack like Pokémon evolutions.
I especially like the thought of Goethe themed Hunger Games 😂
In all seriousness, your thoughts pretty much mirror mine.
Except the particular part about the Netherlands‘ school system, as I know nothing about it.
But having lived in the USA for nearly 12 years and having had first hand exposure to a private Montessori school on one hand, and public school on the other, I fully agree that Europe is an educational buffet, a smorgasbord.
Obviously everybody wants the best for their kids and it bothers everybody seeing their kid somehow left alone in education. However: European education systems are much more flexibel than within the US. You can almost always re-qualify and get additional degrees even on university level, benefiting from part-time studying models and compared to the US, at least here in Switzerland, it is basically free of charge. You can absolutely do a BSc on a "Fachhochschule" and if that awakens your interest in science you can build on previous degrees and fasttrack your Master on a "proper" university and become highly qualified - even if your hunger for education manifests itself not before you are 25. In Europe you can have a happy life without a university degree. If you do just a higher education as an electrical tradesmen (for example) you are a super star in your field and a sought-after specialist.
In fact, Fachhochschule=HAW=University of Applied Sciences _is_ a university which only offers Bachelor and Master degrees. Just no Ph. D. (while there are exceptions) and less research-oriented.
Yeah. I doubt you'll ever get better education in the USA for a special needs kid. Unless you are super rich. Maybe there are countries in the EU that are better, I don't know. But the USA is definitely not the place.
Totally agree on the misinterpretation of the concept of "Friend" between European & North American culture !!
We all experimented it while moving from one contient to the other.
For European, the trap is you think "Woooa ! That pretty quick to have friend here", after an afterwork evening with colleagues, sharing spontaneously about their personal life, only 1 week after you join the company. Then, the tomorrow morning, you see them at the office and salut them with a warm great smile, ready to go deeper in the relation....And you just received a polite "Hello, how are you ?"
North American people are really open-minded, always ready to enjoy & share a nice moment, without any retainment. But without any expectation about building a bond.
As European, we judge this behavior as "futile", even "hypocrite".
But it is only a different culture, with its more or less good side. Discovering all those subtile differences is the core interest of living outside our native country.
'Superficial' is probably a better word than 'futile'. A lot of friendliness on top of the lake, but the lake is really shallow. One of the reasons Walmart failed when they tried to get into Germany, because they tried to import this superficial work culture into our world.
@PriestofgoddessSUPERFICIAL....
What the Hell are you talking about?? Most Americans are open-minded, friendly, hard working & Absolutely Love Our Country. If you love your country, then fly your flag, love you fellow countrymen, Then Shut Your Mouth About Americans.
@tedholvey2271 You might think so, but that is not the impression you 'Americans' make to the rest of the world, even more in these times. Not to mention how this 'absolutely love your country' like praising the flag daily in school gives quite the indoctrination vibes, no wonder your current president is kind of a fascist.
Someone you know is a "Bekannter" (a known person), someone emotionally close is a "Friend"
Vielen Dank für das persönliche Update. Ich denke darüber haben sich viele der Langzeit-Abonnenten gefreut :) Ich wünsche dir und deiner Familie eine schöne Zeit!
Hi,
About the school system, my teacher in the elementary school called me a lazy sock 😂
I should apply the Hauptschule.
My mom put me in a Gesamtschule (a school where all school types are mixed in class for class 5-10) if was really hard but I got accepted to to the 11-13 class for gymnasium.
But I didn’t go, I went to a special school where you do the Fachhochschulreife (second highest grade in Germany) and you learn a job at the same time. So that’s hard!!! And at the 12-13 class you can also start some lessons in a Fachhochschule (simulation to a university with the same degree but not like a school system with fix lessons per day)
So I learned the job as Mechatronic/ electrical engineering at the same time I did my degree. If I would had put in one extra year, I would had the full gymnasium degree so I could study at universities (no buddy did it because everything you want to do n a Uni, you can do on a Fachhochschule too)
The idea of that school was, to have more praxis experience and job experience before you start to study.
So many people who studied have often forgotten the difference between praxis and theory. So it help to have a basic knowledge about the stuff you want to study.
I have now one rule:
My kids have to do learn a job first if they want to study.
If he want to study architect, ok good learn first a craftsman’s job like Zimmermann or plumper or electrical engineers.
i would recommend to be flexible on that - there are plenty of fields in academics, where the practical job isnt really a help and some are purely theoretical (like for example studying mathematics and going into research or education)
its probably a good idea to base it on the direction they want to take their interests and then base it on that - its good to learn practical applications and skills (you probably can imagine the amount of times ive encountered problems in building something, because those making the specifications had no clue about the practical realities and never considered talking to someone who does)... but you also have to keep in mind that something like that will significantly delay their path into higher education if thats where they want to go and might make it more difficult (for example they cant share their parents healthcare once they are above 25, which adds more expenses if they start studying later)
also - a lot of university curriculums have options for more application oriented courses for the specific field (usually in the "wahl" or "wahlpflicht" parts of the plan) that would probably be worth considering
@SharienGamingof course. If you study not every job is better as experience before you study.
There is no job that you can learn if you want to do mathematics. 😂
My example is based on praxis stuff.
And I hope my kids will never learn something like philosophy or something like that. In my eyes that are jobs that don’t give you something as output. 😂😂😂
@RisiPisiLP there is genuine value in things like philosophy - though making a living off of it is tricky outside academics and specific teaching jobs
as far as i understand philosophy, it is basically applying the scientific approach to the methods of thinking - how to figure out your biases, to help others to do so as well and of course exploring what systems of values and morality can be and whether they are consistent and applicable to real life situations
though i would say that its more useful in combination with other fields, as that way its an enhancement on how you approach that other field rather than a purely educational exercise
though going in such a direction is probably a hard path to go... so its understandable, that youd rather they take a route that is more... managable^^
and technically there are jobs you can learn as a mathematician... but it usually makes more sense to learn the maths first there (stuff like stastisticians, data analysts and similar "number crunchy" jobs)
and basically - anything you learn has some form of an output... just not all of it is material (for example a therapist would output mental health improvements for their patients)
Speaking about the "absolute rights" in America... your "freedom of speech" that allows others to spread misinformation and fake news to half of the country seems surreal, without any shame, filters or decency they will tell straight lies to your face and been protected by the law. Hence in the US you have both sides with massive disagreements that come from their mass media (not journalism), especially on the right where reality has left the chat. Thanks for the insight. FYI, I'm an East European, white, live and work in the UK (architecture), travelled everywhere, and only once I've faced disclination: Germany! I think Germany is amazing, I admire this country, but Germans do have some cultural issues.
As a German, I'm sorry you had to experience that.
There are always a few bad apples in every fruit basket, and unfortunately, we live in a time when people are less and less afraid to show their ugly sides, and society even seems to accept it.
Nevertheless, I hope that you won't generalize about all of us after a few unpleasant experiences.
Yeh Dude.....it's our 1st Amendment...Freedom Of Speech...pretty important...I hear European Socialist Countries don't have that Freedom. I think I'll stay here where there's unlimited opportunities & freedom unlike anywhere in the world...THANK YOU
Two things about the school system:
1. You're absolutely right that it is underfunded; has been all my life. It's sadly easy for politicians to do: most people who don't currently have children in school (which is a small part of the overall population) don't care too much, and all the damage you do by cutting funding won't be apparent for years or decades. As a 40 year old without kids - I think my tax euros can hardle be better spent than in educating the next generations.
2. For all it's failing, the school system does grant you more than one chance. So even if you don't go to a gymnasium after 4th grade, you can get there later. Or do a Fachabitur, or get your university qualifications through the "second way" (zweiter Bildungsweg), or Abendschule. There are options for someone who "only" has managed a Hauptschulabschluss as a kid to get the qualifications to go to a university later in life. It's just easier and more streamlined if you go the usual route.
Not trying to defend the obviously strained/broken system we currently have, but there are at least some options.
when i was a kid, we had an "orientierungstufe" in 5/6th grade that was basically an in-between of the gymnasium and realschule tracks... and i genuinely believe that helped and was a good approach for making a decision on where to go afterwards - certainly better than deciding in 4th grade when all youve been learning is the basics at a very low study load
i was genuinely surprised when i started figuring out, that this was not the norm in the rest of germany (not sure if it was an experiment, or just limited to sachsen-anhalt) because it seems like such a straighforward approach
in any case - yeah there are a lot of options for switching between the two tracks - my sister did that intentionally (realschule with fachabitur), because it allowed her to get through school pretty fast (and maybe even with better grades?) and she later decided to get her bachelors through her workplace after a couple of years there
the education system just really needs significantly more funding, especially for the teachers pay - that is one of the most important professions and it needs to be paid accordingly...
@SharienGaming I agree on pretty much all parts. And yes, teaching should be one of those professions that attract a lot of people - to then use only the better half as actual teachers. Currently in several subjects, pretty much eveeryone gets to teach, because it's either someone teaching the subject who is bad, or no one teaching it at all.
would You agree to these aspects too? ruclips.net/video/M1QvVnjiegE/video.htmlsi=fvFEXO114kFmd0dK
5:30 I think that this is totally usual in working environments that the first up to five minutes are usually used for socializing. At least in the companies I worked for where people join remotely and have no water cooler talks.
Not that there aren’t people wishing to reduce that for efficiency 😅
The concern that your child will be irreparably harmed by not getting in a college-track education and will thus be forever disregarded as a lesser person is an American obsession. Plenty of your neighbours likely have technical jobs without college degrees and still have respectable lives. Tracking is a big problem in European schools, but it is not the dead end US schools make it, and there are ways to get it around it more easily than in the money based US education system allows. I have seen it at all levels of Czech education for 33 years.Glad you found a path that works for your son.
Still good points.
@itsallunity7213 Not my point at all, just that it is a particularly American mindset.
I found your graphic illustrating the German educational system quite informative. It assists me in selecting the appropriate English terminology when discussing the topic here in England.
However, there is one aspect you may not be aware of: in West Berlin, and indeed to this day, primary education extends for an additional two years. Consequently, by the end of this period, the child’s academic abilities are more clearly assessed, leading to more accurate recommendations for subsequent schooling.
Additionally, the graphic does not include the 'Zweiter Bildungsweg,' which is an important component of the system.
Attention though, I found that graphic misleading concerning the Fachhochschule.
Fachhochschulen were indeed intially conceived as a parallel path to an academic degree for those who came from a Hauptschule/Realschule+Apprenticeship career. It was a university "light" without the general philosophy overhead universities were supposed to have. The idea was that a smart carpenter had a path to become a civil engineer.
These days, Fachhochschulen and Universitäten both grant pretty much the same bachelor's and master's degrees and many people with Abitur and no apprenticeship choose the FH for a myriad of reasons, like a more focused if not shorter education, a smaller environment, a better-fitting degree or simply that it's closer to where they want to live.
@xrimn9294 true, thanks for putting into words the thoughts I had but decided not to add them to my comment. I didn't want to end up writing an essay as I would not have been able to say what you wrote with so few words.
Ahh, intercultural understanding and being conscious about ones own values and perspective. That's the stuff that holds the world together. Thank you so much for living the idea.
Glad you enjoyed the video. Thanks for watching!
Congratulations on finding your home! I’m an American Boomer still looking for mine. Your success is encouraging.😃
Try anywhere in Europe....they are having problems finding enough Socialists to move there...Good Luck Dude. 😊😊😊😊
In Deutsch unterscheidet man zwischen Bekannten und Freunden.
As a Dutch you made me laugh when you say Germans are direct and blunt :), to me they're very thoughtful and polite, especially when there's any hiërarchy involved.
True! And my sweet baby Jesus: if you want rude and direct, work in an israeli company 😀
I think you would like the Netherlands too. I am Dutch but with German ancestry and I visit Germany regularly. The culture in NL is even more direct and many other values are the same, but everything is a little less rigid here. Little less bureaucracy, somewhat fewer rules to obey, government/healthcare/school/banking services are more often digital for ease of use, more privatization of services (public transport f.ex.) more extravert people, almost everyone is proficient in English. Of course there are flaws just like in Germany. I think no single country or culture is perfect.
Privatization on services, especially when it comes to things like public transportation, is not an advantage!
@arnodobler1096 True, not really an advantage but a difference compared to Germany.
@tammo100 The privatization of Deutsche Bahn is the main reason for its problems!
Regarding rigidity of schooling in Germany: In Germany there are plenty of professions and job in which you can excell with just completed vocational school, you needn't to attend university to get decent job there. Germany isn't the US.
To add to that: you're also not "trapped" (as you said) to a certain school path. You can also switch later between e.g. Realschule and Gymnasium if it turns out that fits better for him.
Absolutely and we are open to all future possibilities. We can’t expect the world to bend to accommodate all of his needs, we just wish for the opportunities to not be systemically limited before he has a chance to figure out the career path that he wants.
@TypeAshton
Mit euch als Eltern hat euer Sohn schon das große Los gezogen. Ihr macht das ganz toll und er wird seinen Weg finden 👍😊
As Jessi said, the school system is not as rigid as it looks. I started Gymnasium, which wasn't for me, so I switched to Realschule after 3 years, continued to Fachoberschule and studied for 2 years at a Fachhochschule only to find out that an academic career was not what I wanted. Worked abroad for a few years, returned to Germany, learned a completely different job in my 30s, and did that, self employment, ever since, looking forward to retiring at the end of this year.
Why? Because of this one fabulous teacher at the Gymnasium who stayed my friend until he died. And the remark of your son's kindergarten teacher reminded me of him.
"He needs more than I can give him!" - what a remarkably honest sentence! Similar to the "You are at the wrong place. Your brain works differently. Take a different path and always follow your passion. Not outside pressure." which came from my teacher when I was around 12 or 13. My parents' reaction was somewhat similar to yours: "How dare he say that?" But he was spot on!
@Jessi62681 that´s very right. My best friend finished with "Hauptschule", then changed to Realschule after that. Then he learned a Job. After that and 3 Years of practise he made the Abitur (Gymnasiumabschluß) and studied after that "Betriebswirtschaftslehre" and did his Master. So You are not perfect flexible, but flexible enough.
We need more of you guys as a counterweight against talahonism.
I really smiled when you pointed out how the Germans get down to business right away. Many years ago I did a translation job for cycling company here in Colorado. There were two groups that I was translating for and supporting some Germans and some Italians. When we were told to do our work the Germans started working right away worked really hard and got their part of the job done then they had time to Chitty chat. As for the Italians, they joked around for at least the first 15 minutes before any talk of work was considered however finished on time. I am now in English language development teacher in a high school and because of that experience many years ago it has helped me to give grace to the students and understand where they are coming from.
Seeing the German secondary school system as "social sorting" is a common misconception in my opinion. It would be true, if there wasn't an opportunity to get you Abitur after you finish the "lower" secondary schools, but there always is. Either through specialized Gymnasiums or Berufsschulen.
I teach grades 5-10 at a Realschule and many of our kids go on to get their Abitur later and are quite happy that they took the route that was easier for them in the beginning.
In my experience, sadly, people who blame their misfortune later in life in being "sorted into the wrong school" are often somewhat entitled and lack the self-reflectiveness to recognize that there might be more to their misfortune than just being treated unfairly by "the system".
So true. It only needs some self confidence and energy. Today's habit of complaining does not help.
Congrats on the citizenship. Really glad to have another fine newly-European family.
To my mind our school system is great because it does not depend on the amount of money the parents have, like in the US F.e.Studying in the USA is extremely expensive, with tuition fees averaging between $20,000 and over $55,000 (approx. €18,700 - €50,000+) per year.
In Germany, on the other hand, studying at public universities is almost free, with semester fees usually only €200 to €400. Finally it's great to have you here, a family which integrades perfectly in contrast to o lot of muskim people who doesn't accept our free wayof living and the independence of women !
Cost is a HUGE benefit.❤❤
Дойдох в Германия няколко месеца след тебе (октомври 2018) и съм напълно съгласен с казаното за Германия!👍🙏
Für den weiteren und hoffentlich finalen Einbürgerungsprozess wünsche ich viel Erfolg. Schön, dass ihr hier seid!