"I held the gun in my hand and felt this surge of power, and suddenly I knew how GOD feels when HE holds a gun." -Homer Simpson Wiser words have never been spoken.
Gun Owner reminds me of when Adam West on Family Guy was marrying his right hand. When his left rose to object West responded with "You had your chance!"
The news on all the regular outlets are so nuts these days that the only way the Onion could one-up them was going full astral, anything less and nobody would buy that it was satire anymore.
At least we know that Joe Biden is healthy and strong enough to dig a six-foot hole. Too bad it was for his grave. He seems a bit depressed. He should see a doctor, maybe Dr. Jill Biden.
Can't believe people are still rooting for Zorbog. Like, come on, he's older than the universe itself, he's no longer qualified for the presidency! It's just ridiculous how quickly the Zorbogists always evade the question of how Zorbog can really understand minorities since he's never experienced non-bliss; clearly he can't cater to the poor and homeless appropriately. His program of making them happy doesn't even pretend it'll make them richer and adequately contemptuous of the Chinese. It's just complete nonsense!
@@UwU-235 idk man, kind of feels like a cult when evangelicals continue to wrap the american flag around a traitor with a failed coup and wants our allies invaded by a ruskie man with a napoleon complex.
Completely understandable that he would do that. I'm going to build my own too when the time comes. I want to get the measurements and particulars just right. I'll be there for a while. I want to be comfortable.
Call your local representatives! We NEED more representation on alternate planes of existance. Spiritual essenses and disembodied flesh need your vote today!
What the hell happened to The Onion? Once upon a time they used to produce high quality videos with amazing actors and legendary humor. Now we have this??
At least he's being considerate by digging his grave by himself. Trump would make someone else do it while he wasted time encouraging capitol raids or going on dates with the Russian President. I'm a European, all I ask is for Sleepy Joe to continue rejecting a nap on Vladolf Putler's bed.
I had to sign in to view this because there was "inappropriate content"?.... or was it because they want to log or dissuade viewers. There was NOTHING inappropriate or even close to it.
that clip was overseas terrorist arms, they are full autos made overseas never got to usa lol. Idk how u can hate biden and guns in the same vid, seems off to me lol. inb4 another flat earther ONN vid
"Thats why I bought a rifle" is probably the best delivered line.
It’s actually not the best delivered line.
@@carpballetWhich one is?
@@MicahScottPnDthe gun hand i guess
as the founding fathers intended
wow, there really are layers to this! Layers, like a... like a... oh man, I'm blanking.... something that has layers....
He thinks digging his own grave will bring him closer to the astral plane, which just shows how out of touch he is with the intangible.
Is being out of touch with the intangible a good thing?
This comment is funnier than the entire video. @theonion could hire you.
Oh so that's why he did it. CEASEFIRE NOW
This comment too clever for RUclips
"in all 63 counties of the astral plane" - whoever's responsible for that line deserves a raise.
At first I thought this was a Babylon Bee video from that title
It was pure genius
She is the only candidate that wants to dismantle the war machine, fr tho.
@@NewtNiko - You must have been surprised when the video was funny.
Hardly anybody in the liberal media is reporting about this.
They can't handle the truth is the problem.
Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb? None , their to busy ???? Their gender 😂😂😂😂😂😂
this but actually
Neither the conservatives. A crying shame that our democratic republic has been reduced to such squalor.
Hardly anybody in the liberal media is reporting.
Actually hardly anybody in the media is reporting.
It’s becoming harder and harder to tell that this is satire.
Fake, Biden would forget what he was doing halfway through.
The Onion only posts real news
(If you genuinely believe that this could've happened you need to touch grass)
@@ImortalZeus13 - They're referring to the satire of media reporting, not to satire of real events.
That's because it's probably not.
"I held the gun in my hand and felt this surge of power, and suddenly I knew how GOD feels when HE holds a gun."
-Homer Simpson
Wiser words have never been spoken.
Gun Owner reminds me of when Adam West on Family Guy was marrying his right hand. When his left rose to object West responded with "You had your chance!"
That was a classic bit. His work on the show was all the more funny because of us old folks associating him with Batman.
Man is fighting against some serious demons. Thank goodness he's got a rifle to protect himself!
The news on all the regular outlets are so nuts these days that the only way the Onion could one-up them was going full astral, anything less and nobody would buy that it was satire anymore.
"That's why I bought a rifle" _laughing so much, I can't hear the rest of the episode_
What a time for this to be recommended
The Marianne Williamson bit was pure unadulterated genius
After all these years, the Onion STILL makes me laugh faster, and louder than any recent SNL skit. That's why I bought a rifle.
That's like reading a book then committing self immolation
We've come a long way from Diamond Joe doing donuts on the lawn in his '88 Trans Am GTA.
At least we know that Joe Biden is healthy and strong enough to dig a six-foot hole. Too bad it was for his grave. He seems a bit depressed. He should see a doctor, maybe Dr. Jill Biden.
Something something cornpop
I hear Corn Pop was a bad dude
Zorbog for president
Can't believe people are still rooting for Zorbog. Like, come on, he's older than the universe itself, he's no longer qualified for the presidency!
It's just ridiculous how quickly the Zorbogists always evade the question of how Zorbog can really understand minorities since he's never experienced non-bliss; clearly he can't cater to the poor and homeless appropriately. His program of making them happy doesn't even pretend it'll make them richer and adequately contemptuous of the Chinese. It's just complete nonsense!
The clear frontrunner based on polling from a least 42 astral plane counties
zorbog is a racist
I am also unsure if I could live with myself after unaliving myself in defense of myself. Truly troubled times
I just had a heart attack with that notification until I realised what channel it was
So you thought for a moment that the president was digging a hole for themselves to be put into?
🤣
The Onion is good at making realistic headlines
@@VColossalV One can hope
ah the Onion Effect at its best
oh noes, they made fun of the guy i'm voting for. better complain about how the onion is biased or something. oh, right, i'm not in a cult. 😀
Do you understand how counterproductive this comment is?😂😂😂Zorborg for president!
Avg trumpturd comment... only missing some brain-dead conspiracy theories
Idk man, kind of feels like a cult when youve got to make everything about the other guy
@@UwU-235 idk man, kind of feels like a cult when evangelicals continue to wrap the american flag around a traitor with a failed coup and wants our allies invaded by a ruskie man with a napoleon complex.
@@UwU-235 can you name a cult that makes everything about "the other guy"?
Zorbog 2028 🇺🇸
Zorbog 2024! 🇺🇸
Bro was trippin 💀
these days you can’t tell the difference between satire and reality.
the gun owner guy makes me laugh; every time. I too was once afraid to put down my own gun
Probably should have put this out BEFORE the state of the union speech. Not as funny now...
nah it's even funnier
Still digging his own grave on Palestinian
THIS is the kind of content The Onion was created for! 😂😂😂
Why has The Onion not released a State of The Onion address?
Good question 🤔
This will probably become reality for sleepy creepy Joe.
God-damn, our president must be healthy to be able to dig a 5 foot deep hole in one sitting by himself!
OMG the gun owner bit is spot on!!😂
The gun guy sounds just like Mark Hammil in World War Z.
The grave could be for cornpop
The onion really ain’t what it used to be
Hopefully the new owners bring back the onion news network
He diggin for ice cream
Remember when the onion was funny and it had the money for actual production value?
Vote Cthulhu 2024, why vote for a lesser evil! 🐙🐙🐙🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
This aged well
How Zorbog the Blissful didn’t win, I’ll never know. He was great!
It’s not his time. He’ll get em in ‘28
Completely understandable that he would do that. I'm going to build my own too when the time comes. I want to get the measurements and particulars just right. I'll be there for a while. I want to be comfortable.
Zorbog has the Purple vote.
Hey - say what you want but let’s see Trump do this.
1:37 PERSONA!!!
Persona 3❤
Zorbog the Blissful can still win everyone! Don't lose hope!
Call your local representatives! We NEED more representation on alternate planes of existance. Spiritual essenses and disembodied flesh need your vote today!
He has been digging this hole for 81 years.
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire lol
Old onion better Onion 😂
All of this was surprisingly factual
I'm a fan of Biden, and I approve of this joke.
WTF am I having a stroke?
I'm so sad Zorbog the Blissful lost !
God speed Joe, God speed.
What the hell happened to The Onion? Once upon a time they used to produce high quality videos with amazing actors and legendary humor. Now we have this??
That skit really fell off. Were they spliced?
It's A.I. generated garbage
At least he's being considerate by digging his grave by himself. Trump would make someone else do it while he wasted time encouraging capitol raids or going on dates with the Russian President. I'm a European, all I ask is for Sleepy Joe to continue rejecting a nap on Vladolf Putler's bed.
we need to give the onion the funds it used to have
Yeah it’s so lame and underfunded now
You guys are sitting on a god damn goldmine for Trump videos.. Are you too scared to make them?
They make fun of the current president
Give it time, if Trump wins, they'll have that goldmine
@@CoiboiXD not if Trump makes satire illegal.
It’s almost satire if it weren’t true 😆 😭
Damn, thought y'all had expired or something. Keep up the great satire.
Biden is indeed digging his own grave with his pro-genocide policy,
When reality becomes stranger than satire The Onion has to go off the rails like this
I still want to know the name/bio of the woman who's reading the news now!
*FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I ATE THE ONION*
I didn't see the channel name at first and was sooo confused
I had to sign in to view this because there was "inappropriate content"?.... or was it because they want to log or dissuade viewers. There was NOTHING inappropriate or even close to it.
i wish this was real
The rare repeat skit since it was so popular the first time around lol.
Trump 2024
you need to find the mojo the onion had years ago, this new iteration attempts but the final result is lame in comparison, to Moi any way.
Lolol this is a good one
I remember when the Onion was actually funny. Now its just ... Dry and dumb
Would be a lot more fun when it's stuff someone might actually believe if they didn't know it's satire
Spiritually lagging behind trump. Hmmm, I sense that's not a good place to be.
Probably looking for wherever Hunter hid his 2 tons of coke rocks
1:48 Someone has been playing a bit too much Persona 3 Reload.
This chicks voice is annoying does the onion not have anymore employees?
Did she just drop the Jean-Paul Sartre title like I think she did
The content was fine why did you add a repeat clip on the end again!
I've been in love with Onion since 2008
So this is what they call zoomer humor, I presume?
Did anyone find the new age/astrology bit funny?
That was tfg’s grave. And I was going to help.
At least Marianne Williamson is getting coverage here.
United States of Strangelove
It’s the fastest way to Chinese diplomacy
Poor trigger discipline.
Is a pimp cane a weapon?
What happened to the Onion, it used to be so funny.
The last part of the video was quality satire this time. I didn't expect it.
writing quality isn't what it used to be
This is ridiculously funny lfmao 😂😂😂
I BELIEVE IN ZORBOG THE BLISSFUL!!!
Wow - at first I thought the first story headline might be satire but since RUclips Age restricted this video, it must be true!
Well, according with a Troy Mclure documentary, digging your own grave is a good way if saving money
I've been wishing for the good old onion to return. The premise in the beginning was already alright, but the latter part of the video was superb!
Zorbog 2024!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Good news! We’re extending arts and crafts by 4 hours today!!!! 😂
Reuploaded.
Wow! Love the segment on guns!
that clip was overseas terrorist arms, they are full autos made overseas never got to usa lol. Idk how u can hate biden and guns in the same vid, seems off to me lol. inb4 another flat earther ONN vid
Why is it age restricted??
The Onion used to be funny.
I’m impressed he was able to get 6 feet deep with out tripping on nothing, hitting his head leaving this cruel world.