My wife was working when she fell pregnant. Prior to our first son's birth 25years ago she decided she would return to work a year after his birth. 3 days after he was born I found her crying and she said "I can't leave him, I can't return to work, he is my work". I said "you don't have to leave him we can survive on one income."I soon realized it wouldn't work in the city we were in it was too expensive so I found a job in a less expensive smaller city and we moved to Texas. I did whatever it took to make momma bear happy.
When I was pregnant with my first, I felt I must return to work part time after the first 3 months of his life. I had no idea how strong my love for him would be! It surprised me how much anxiety filled me at the thought of returning. I did return, at first 1 day a week, then 2 days a month! Then leaving completely. I remember thinking, " Why didn't anyone warn me how much I would want to be with my children? Why wasn't this talked about in high school?," And then I kept meeting other moms who thought the same.
I whole-heartedly agree. My mother-in-law, who dedicated her life to raising her 12 children recently passed away. All her children surrounded her casket, with great love for a woman that gave her all to them. I can imagine God receiving her in heaven, thanking her for all the times she said "yes" to life and all the sacrifices she did for them.
Love that Trent “waited” for her. My husband did the same. It meant the world to me that my husband was totally open to me working and we made it work. Jesus changed my mind. Husbands who are struggling with this, be patient and PRAY! God will bring us around 😊
I tried working the first year of having a baby because I just made sooo much money. But the 60 hour work week was not worth it. Even though our daycare was great and run by a catholic family it still broke my heart to drop my son off every day.
The quote that motherhood is the only role you can't be replaced in has been inspiring to me since I heard the original interview with Laura. I love your female interviews as a new mother discerning the catholic faith.
I was just telling someone recently that I know women who don't want to stay home because the kids hang on them all day. I realized that in times past, kids could go out and play while mom got stuff done. So they weren't hanging on her all day. And the key was community. The mom's helped each other and families knew each other. If mom's did work, sometimes they would take turns watching each other's kids. Family members lived near each other. Today it's not safe for kids to be outside without adults. And since there are less stay at home moms, the moms really need to find a support system in place so they don't go crazy with kids hanging on them all day. It's a big responsibility. And I guess it would be very lonely doing it alone.
People forget how difficult it is. It’s mentally very draining and lonely to be home. And I think our generation is far more conscious about the dangers out there. I don’t think the dangers have become worse. I think previous generations simply didn’t think it was out there or normalized certain experiences. We were left alone so much, but sadly many have fallen prey to a lot of evil people that parents don’t know about. I would never put my kids in that type of situation.
THIS!!!! I’m a stay at home mom and struggling with loneliness pretty badly. All of our neighbors are either seniors, have older kids, or just chose to never have any kids. There’s no groups for young couples or families with young kids at our church. Plus any moms groups I’ve joined they are “trapped” having either a full or part time job. There’s not really any sense of community at our parish other than some good ‘ol “coffee and donuts” maybe once a month where everyone sits at their own tables. Our society has completely turned its back on stay at home mom’s.
@@truegirl2anna I'm sorry for your loneliness. Maybe homeschool mom's in your area would be a source for friendship even if you don't homeschool or if your kids are too young. I had a cousin who stayed home when the kids were not of school age, however she did sometimes work on occasion at a local office part-time...was at her mom's job... she could bring the kids when they were babies. But anyway, when the kids were babies and toddlers, to get out of the house, she would take them to mommy and me swim class and to the events at the local library, to the gym, and to park district events. She didn't necessarily make deep friendships that way, but it was a great way to get out and mingle a bit. It helped provide entertainment for the kids. When the kids were old enough to join a toddler dance class or sports class, she enrolled them in that. These things were not everyday, she was not over-scheduled. It was the perfect mix of time at home and time out of the house It kept all of them from feeling cooped up. And actually helped them to gain confidence and some talent.
@@truegirl2anna oh and to add ..I wonder if there are mom's that meet and chat via zoom or another app. Maybe there could be some fun long distance friendships made that way, or at least maybe a stay at home mom's support group.
I was a lawyer before baby and it was the easiest thing for me to walk away even though it’s certainly a big financial sacrifice. One thing that is rarely discussed is that if you try to do both, you will have fewer children. And that is unacceptable to me. The babies are too precious!
My wife worked, but she was at home half the day, or working from home, and when she didn't have the kids I did. I was a bit better able to handle them once they were toddlers, so that also worked out (just a personality thing). So we were both kind of working and stay at home, half and half. Later, my wife was more full time when the kids were in school. But she always wanted to change that. Now she's part time, so she just works part of the time the girls are at school. And I'm more full time. Nothing made me realize the value of stay at home mom's like being a stay at home dad. I also realized how great it was. And I also realized that my wife was better at it than me (at least at this point in our kids' lives). But then she's also better than me at being a worker/income earner! We made the decisions that made sense for us and let us be with our kids and have time together, including decisions that reduced income for both of us. We both sacrificed in our career. Long term, even though we did it for good reasons, and even if all our choices were right, it was still hard on my wife not to be with the kids, and it was hard on me not being as successful in my career (and that was hard on my wife too). So yeah, the world is messy, and life is flexible, and wisdom walks a carefully chosen and often adapting path. But that doesn't mean you don't pay any price for it. Stay at home moms are awesome. I'm a teacher, and although there is huge variation, the kids with stay at home moms have a huge advantage.
Holy cow, Laura is amazing. Move over Trent. It can be a struggle, but my wife is able to stay home. And it's such an incredible blessing for our family. Thanks for the reminder that we've lucky.
I was in a choir with a woman who had a great intellect. She admitted she was arrogant until she married and started raising children. After five, most of her extra-family interests were pushed out. Rather than be bothered, she said to me "I LOVE being a wife and mother; it uses ALL my talents."
I had a 25+ year career. Near the end of this career my husband I were blessed with our daughter. I worked for the first few years of her life. I mourned my career when it was OVER. But you know what? I had the best career change. I love being a mom. I stay home, I am my daughters primary educator, I drive her to all her activities. I love it. The rewards are endless. Is my home spotless because I'm home? NO! we live in the chaos of a well loved HOME. We love it. I think I'd become neurotic if we lived in a museum. What an unexpected surprise in finding JOY being a stay at home MOM.
My mom quit her job as soon as she became pregnant with her first. Returning to work was never an option for her - she would LITERALLY cry if she had to leave her babies alone even for 5 minutes!
Really appreciate Laura Horn for bringing up how easy it is to fall into proto-affair like friendships/relationships- very glad this is being acknowledged.
Two things. In my opinion. #1 stay at home moms are more valuable than all the monetary riches and man made titles combined x infinity. #2 there is nothing sexier than a woman who does her best through the never ending battles with the daily upkeep of house (through the storm mess of the kids) and the non stop nurturing of those kids. Mom is more intune with her children than a stranger will ever be, she know what each child needs. Moms are the ones who teach us so many valuable morals and ethics. The world is a better place with mom investing her time and talents into the future than investing it into a depreciating tool we call the dollar. Stay at home moms do the more important thing. Vocation vs a job. We need more stay at home moms and we need less stuff and debt for that stuff.
My wife can work for 30,000 a year just so we can afford childcare (and all the annoyance and frustration and logistical issues that come with that) or...she can just not work, and we have a free caregiver. Bonus that shes the childs mother!
I came across this video as I am listening to the song in the time that you gave me. Oh being home with my kids was the best days of my life. I had to go to work because my exhusband left the family. He left me w 4 children. One of which the oldest is a special needs child. He has suffered the most at the hands of ignorance from family court and the school system while I had to work. I am bound and determined to retire at 60 as soon as I can get my retirement. I will be poor but I will have time.
My husband makes 30 dollars an hour and I can be a stay at home mom. Most families could afford one income and rather have a large lifestyle and send their babies off with strangers. When my kids are in school I’ll work so we can afford more vacations and more in their college savings accounts but when they’re babies/ toddlers having a mom home is the best gift you can give them.
Why invest a few years only to go backwards and send them off to school? Isn’t avoiding the separation and break down of the family what it’s all about? That doesn’t suddenly change after a few years. Their needs also do not lessen, they simply change. In fact, many wise parents will tell you the burdens only increase with age. Not the time to throw in the towel!
@@andreanease4215 uhh because they’re in school so why would I sit at home while they’re there alone? I’m home from my job in time to get them off the bus
@@andreanease4215because I think kids need the social interactions they receive in school and it helps them learn how to exist in a society and deal with conflict and such. Besides that, I’m a scientist and could teach my kids about science really well but not English and math and history and I think my kids deserve a well rounded education from teachers who are trained to teach, especially once they are older so they can prepare for college or a career.
@@trackchampion621 your response perfectly reflects how the system institutionalizes children and make them dependent upon it, which in turn has the victim perpetuate the cycle. The system has perfectly accomplished its goal of making you believe you are lesser and incapable and therefore you need it. It took me a couple of years after children to come out of my institutionalized state, and I’m very thankful I did.
💯. It's crazy how much our opinions change! As a late teenager I planned on being single, working at an advertising firm in a big city. I went to school for it and quickly realized it was incompatible with my morals. I worked and brought in a good income for an early 20yo, fell in love, got pregnant and found myself bawling at the thought of returning to work. I was distracted. I hated pumping. I hated only seeing my kid for an hour or two of awake time a day and others seeing his milestones before I did. Now I feel for kids who barely see their parents. I still think there is a place for women in the work world who are passionate about what they do as long as they have no interest in love or children. (Ironically I think part of the reason most can't afford to stay home IS because it's impossible for one income families to compete with two income families, but if women hadn't all gone off to work in the first place that problem wouldn't exist.)
For such a “progressive” world and for being around all of these feminists almost all of the reactions I get from other mom’s whenever I say I’m a stay at home mom are “oh my gosh you’re so lucky. I wish I could do that!!”
Man. I wish more than anything I made enough to allow my wife to stay home and raise our daughter. We are so grateful that we have parents who are engaged and beyond willing to be grandparents and watch our little one.
Do you literally know how many jobs would be out there and understand how much better society would be if kids got to grow up nurtured by their own mother and not anyone but the mother
Perhaps some folks here are not familiar with a typical traditional Catholic family. Many many families I know have 4-10 kids…on purpose! So not too many spa days for them. These wives sacrifice their own earthly desires by choice to raise kids, often homeschooling them. It’s a countercultural movement for sure. I felt liberated when I decided to stay home with my 4 kids rather than feel enslaved by home and work responsibilities. Everyone gets to choose their path, no right or wrong here. Just tired of sahm being misrepresented.
Opening myself up for advice here: I have very little passion for work outside the home but I'm good at what I do and I make a lot of money, about four times as much as my husband per hour, in fact. My husband is trying to get a start up off the ground and has made no income for over a year, although he will start pulling a small paycheck in July. He recently picked up a very part-time job to help us make ends meet. We have two kids and one on the way. I desperately want to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschooler but have no idea how we can even come close to making that work. (We also live in Southern California, and haven't thought of moving away because our entire family on both sides lives here.) Advice, prayers, and any and all feedback would be very welcome.
If its only passion that is being effected. I cant see your situation changing much. If your family needs you to be a stay-at-home mom and provide home schooling. Then you and your husband might be willing to sacrifice for it. That might mean moving or lowering your quality of life to achieve the outcome you both want. It just really depends on where you and you husbands priority's are and if what you both are doing, will get you the results you need.
This is gonna be a bit controversial, but can you cut back your hours at work and go part time? That might light a fire under your husband's butt to get the startup going. I say this as an entrepreneur-there are ways to supplement a startups income while you get it off the ground (consulting is the first idea that comes to mind).
@@rpratka7337 Good call on calling out the "passion." I hadn't thought about it that way before. Honestly, though, the actual NEED is there, simply because we have been sending our kids to public school to be educated by "Caesar" and I can see the damage it has done but feel fairly helpless to combat it, although we definitely try. The money is just not there for private school. We could sell our house and move, but is it more important that I be home or more important that we have our family around?
@@heatherayala9520 For me personally, I would say having a wife at home with two kids and one on the way is a must. The only way I see combating "Caesar" effectively. Would be by not allowing Caesar to have access to your children through means of homeschooling. I read as though the NEED is very important, amplified by damage that has already taken place. Having family around does not fix the NEED, as I understand it.
I can empathize. I had a strong pull to stay home with my baby, but my husband had just graduated college and hadn’t gotten his career started yet. I also have chronic illness, so I couldn’t work much pre baby anyways, now not at all. Here’s what we did: 1. Ask st Joseph to provide a stable job that gave us a livable income. Pray and trust God will provide. He certainly answered our prayers. 2. My husband had to sacrifice to make money. Worked jobs he didn’t like, worked weekends, constantly job searched and networked. 3. We budget ruthlessly and are frugal. We only eat out 1-2x a month. Work lunches are all homemade leftovers. Cook from scratch. Buy thrifted clothes only when necessary. Facebook marketplace is great. I grew up homeschooled. Most families ran tight budgets, but having a close family where mom is at home is worth the sacrifice to them. 4. Lean on family and community. Move in with family for a time if that works and you need to. We ate at family’s house for diners a couple times a week one month because we didn’t have much of an income. Ask for hand me downs. Ask for things you’d need to buy, a lot of people would let you borrow or have theirs. 5. Pick up a side hustle if you can/need once you’re working less. Be patient, pray, be willing to sacrifice. It was a progressive transition for us. We had to rely on God. He came through in His timing. Things are still super tight but my husband now has a stable livable job and I’m a full time homemaker/mom. Best of luck! Hope some of this helps!
"The most attractive quality in a woman is if she's into me." This is true for me! If anything is going to sucker me in, it's that. I thought it was just me. I make it a point now not to get too personal with women at work.
I'm 32 yo, not married, but dating someone. If I have a baby, I would love to stay home with him/her. Preferably for several years. I think it would break me if I had to return to work, especially because I hate my job
I don’t think women shouldn’t work. But I do think and always believed that when you have very young kids a mother is needed at home. We carry the baby, nurse, and nurture. But once all the kids are in school or simply more independent, there is more time to do something different and some moms crave that. I’m currently a sahm and would love to work in the future! Now if you homeschool, that on its own is a fulltime job. We chose the Catholic school route and we are looking into me working from home once our kids are all in school. I really miss being mentally stimulated
I completely respect the choice to be a stay-at-home mom. However, I want nothing to do with shaming working moms. Just because working as a mom might be undesirable for you, it might be a source of joy and peace for someone else, and that is valid. We should never disregard that fathers can be great stay at home parents too or that most women financially need to work. I did not appreciate how this conversation seemed to label working moms as inferior and never even acknowledged single moms. Furthermore, in the United States, we currently have a widespread labor shortage. Have you thought through what would happen to our economy and our welfare system if all moms and all single parents suddenly dropped out?
Hi Matt, I really admire your taste in fashion. Do you mind telling me where you got your vest from? I have been eyeing it for a long time now and would like to buy a similar one online but haven't been able to find one like yours. Thanks!
Women give yourself the gift of being there everyday to raise your children. You will have so much less guilt for not being perfect. Because you have had the time to give it your all.
So just a genuine question from someone confused and stuck... What if you can't convince your wife that your kids are better to raise than to earn almost double the income you could possibly earn. All the while, your kids are the best behaved (and hug us more) of any other kids you've ever met (no joke), the smartest, and they are only half the week raised by their godparents and a very multicultural Casa Montesouri preschool with good Catholic virtues? Like, I get the argument that before contraception or very diligent natural family planning (which was us as protestants and now as Catholics), it was impossible for women to bring home the income and thus God made it this way and it's unnatural for raising children to be the other way. However, in our current context, it feels as if all the evidence/chips are stacked against me to even suggest us swapping roles. Add to this the fact that I am involved in Christian apologetics and helping many youth at universities find and strengthen their faith while evangelising others pretty well... Which was my passion prior to becoming Catholic 2 years ago as a non-Catholic evangelical who had no support or understanding of the role of a husband or father... I am lost as to the ability to argue for even trying it the other way to our current arrangement, and nothing you've shared in these videos, or any of the ones you've done on this subject, has helped me discern what to make of our circumstances. I am pretty sure I've even talked to the most respectable priests I know (conservative ones from Opus Dei and who do latin mass), but they haven't given me any decent advice apart from "I don't know" and Shia Labeouf's "just do it!"... Do you have better spiritual resources on this? Or is it the issue of our time and we need good apologists who can illuminate this matter for people like my family...?
So many women are insecure these days, and I think the root of this is because they aren’t truly valued in the workplace. They are replaceable. At home, when they love and cherish their husband and children, they feel the reciprocation more
❤️ It's has been very beautiful for woman to see the massively important role to stay home but WE STRUGGLE SOOOO MUCH. We don't know how to. The generation we have to look up to has almost nothing for us! Maybe it's just me but it's so hard! 💔
It is hard. I am a convert to Catholicism and my mom died when I was a teen so although she was a wonderful mom, she hadn’t been a Catholic mom and because she died when I was so young and I had to literally “man up” and be very independent and look after myself and go to work etc. (my dad was very ill and also died when I was a teen) I never learnt to cook and I have NO interest in it, I am very academic and analytical and love to read, debate and did very well at school and college and the paid workforce but being home..I didn’t have the skills. But what I did have was I LOVED my kids and they all tell me how grateful they are that I was always there (my husband has a challenging job). Especially when they are little (under 5) it’s very sacrificial. You have to die to yourself. It has paid off in the long run, we are a very close knit family and get on really well. I thank God for that. I am now training to go back to work (my youngest is 16).
I'd love opinions on this. If both a husband and wife genuinely enjoy their job what should happen with the childcare situation. I will have a job that is higher paying and requires travel. My wife would be an at-home care nurse so she would be able to be home more than me but not full time. What would we do to fill in the gaps?
@@trainwithtonja4426 that sounds lovely, thank you. We've talked about having nanny's there's always just been this sense of " are we abandoning our parental duties" if we take that route
Honestly, I’ve combatted similar feelings. My husband and I tried without a nanny while both working at home. We have a teen, a toddler and I’m currently pregnant. We managed for several months, but at the expense of health and peace of mind. It hit a point where we were burning the candle at all ends and I personally started to feel ineffective as a parent and wife. I know what you mean about feelings of abandoning parental responsibilities. I’ve struggled with that too. Now having a nanny, I try to see it less of abandoning parental duties and more of enhancing our child’s day-to-day. I also defined a curriculum for the nanny to follow so it feels more like she’s going to school.
I always like to say that God calls different people to different callings. There is a sense of fulfillment that comes with ones job or career and no one should be denied it, but there is also more to the story than that. Couples have to reconcile their individual feelings, personalities, and goals with the reality they are in. My point is that its different from one couple to the other and neither should be judged too harshly for the decision they make so long as they make the decision together as a couple. I have to have some sense of awareness as I am not a homebody per se and I like to have the freedom to go out and make an impact on the world.
I grew up in a very wealthy community and there were more SAHM/housewives than your average American town. These families were not really religious and didn't homeschool their children either, therefore there was really no reason for the mothers to be SAHM. The housewives mostly just shopped all day, played tennis, got beauty treatments done, and drank alcohol. I think this is what a lot of people think of when they think of a housewife, they think she's lazy (honestly a lot of them are..)
Perhaps you are not familiar with a typical traditional Catholic family. Many many families I know have 4-10 kids…on purpose! So not too many spa days for them. These wives sacrifice their own earthly desires by choice to raise kids, often homeschooling them. It’s a countercultural movement for sure. I felt liberated when I decided to stay home with my 4 kids rather than feel enslaved by home and work responsibilities. Everyone gets to choose their path, no right or wrong here. Just tired of sahm being misrepresented..
@@lucillefrehlich8564 Yes, I think that's beautiful.. I want that too. I was describing what people esp outside Catholic circles might think of when they hear the word SAHM or housewife.
Of course for people without children or with few children it’s very much a status symbol if your wife can stay home and spend her time making herself and your home look gorgeous and just create a stress free home and stability. This used to be open to more women but the cost of living and certain life choices has either made it financially impossible for people or they think it’s impossible. They also have been raised with an outlook that says a woman who just focuses on herself and her family and doesn’t earn a wage is “lazy” even though that wasn’t considered the case a few decades ago. Better Friedan and other feminists who felt trapped in their suburban homes did not always appreciate that for working class women it was often considered a much better option where you a had more control over your life and environment than working a factory job or other unsatisfying work. Now secular society has made it seem you have to be rich and/or lazy to not have a full time paid job outside the home. It’s very countercultural now. The true social rebels are focusing only on marriage family and homemaking and often homesteading.
Upper class housewives are a whole different breed...What we are really looking at is lower middle class housewives who would work only to barely afford childcare. We would also consider upper middle class housewives who likely work part-time or remotely while at home, with multiple college degrees. Those in the lower middle class are more likely to homeschool and be homesteaders (and more religious). The stereotype of the lazy housewife was tied to middle class women between those two income levels, but it's no longer relevant because that middle of the middle class is the least likely to have housewives anymore. Those upper class housewives you mentioned probably have one or two college degrees, an inheritance, and their own investments. They have little to risk. The poorest housewives risk more but the benefits are spiritual and deeper if nothing goes wrong. There's is more to gain in choosing a traditional lifestyle and not being a lazy worker or lazy housewife (some jobs require no real effort these days).
It's interesting hearing her talk about getting close to a male coworker...what about when your husband works primarily with women? It seems like that one goes both ways.
She sounds kinda nutty tbh. Still has the workforce giggles with zero work ethic going on. I agree with the message overall but it’s kinda difficult to follow up with someone who sounds childish. I’m a stay at home mother since my early 20s. I’m 36 today with 5 children, a corporate wife and have many material blessings- all earned. The key is don’t compare yourself to others. Have self control. Give up instant pleasure for long term inner happiness. Don’t participate in this world more than you have to. Men are better in this outside world (it’s a man’s world) and women are better making a home. Read books. Chase after Christ, which is a lifelong journey.
It’s just her natural voice, she talks in the long form interview about how young she sounds and looks. She is also still in her late 20s, early 30s. Sure she sounds ditzy but she is also very funny and genuine. Have you watched her comedy channel? I am sure she isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but I find her hilarious, especially because she is so real and will talk about absolutely anything. She is obviously a real extrovert. She is also smart, I wouldn’t judge too quickly. Her husband has a brain as big as a planet, I am sure he couldn’t cope with an idiotic wife. She is a qualified nurse.
If it's not a moral sin, why do women need to justify it? Seems more like the guest was thinking of cheating and that's the real reason why she quit. That's the moral sin, not working.
Your comment about replacing Cameron if she dies is insensitive. Why didn't you keep that comment to yourself? No mother ever wants to be replaced or compared to another woman let alone think of dying early. I don't like your attitude I'm unsubscribing. I hope Cameron gave you an ear bashing.
Such a strikingly “on edge,” negative-vibing person - this is physically uncomfortable to watch. If you can’t immediately tell that this is a deeply troubled person who needs to work on hee own stuff and stop presuming to teach others, you need to grow in spiritual and emotional discernment. Over the years I’ve observed that this combination - a woman who checks all the right gender role boxes, but is patently unfeminine, self-vaunting, and simmering with badly concealed anger - is very common in traditional Catholic communities. You can tell they’re deeply unhappy - in my experience, because they’re in the grips of rigorism and have completely surrendered their personal agency to merciless, box-checking legalism. In reality most women, unless they are truly desperate or truly luxuriating in privilege, have different seasons of life with regard to work and family and are gentle and understanding about the fact that other women and families have their own rhythms and reasons about this and that the details of that for another family are usually none of our business. And the absolute state of Catholicism, that the idea that it might be a sin to work could even be floated. These people aren’t theologically literate enough to know there’s a definite official answer on this, let alone the reasons underlying it and the whole rationale behind what is and isn’t a sin in Catholicism. Instead of studying all that they sit around angrily speculating about what “excuses” other families have. And yet they dare adorn themselves with the name of Aquinas!
No, stay-at-home parenting requires very little intellectual exertion. It's a waste of life and talent, really; and I'd much sooner respect a tough female lawyer than a stay-at-home mother.
How do you know life is more valuable ( more respectable) based on level of intellectual exertion, even moreso than the care and nurture of children? Maybe your standards are off. I would also argue a lot of SAHMs provide more intellectual rigor for their children than the public schools (speaking as a SAHM who used to teach in public schools and now homeschools her children and knows lots of homeschool moms who have high standards for their children).
I'm sorry you feel that way,you clearly don't realize how much creativity,patience, and intellect it does take if you actually homeschool children properly and not just watch after them. To raise them up being smarter and more independent than the majority of kids that go through the regular school system. It definitely is not a waste if you value the future of your children. But hey everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is yours but to say it takes no intellectual exertion is just ignorant.
I don’t think it’s either/or. We don’t need to pit women against each other because of their choices. Being at home full time is hard and many Catholic mothers are homeschooling numerous children. My best friend homeschooled her 6 with her husband and they already have 3 through college, 1 who is a NICU nurse and married husband with a ph.d, 2 in college and 1 in high school. You don’t raise smart successful kids if you are “wasting your life”.
My wife was working when she fell pregnant. Prior to our first son's birth 25years ago she decided she would return to work a year after his birth. 3 days after he was born I found her crying and she said "I can't leave him, I can't return to work, he is my work". I said "you don't have to leave him we can survive on one income."I soon realized it wouldn't work in the city we were in it was too expensive so I found a job in a less expensive smaller city and we moved to Texas. I did whatever it took to make momma bear happy.
Absolutely based
When I was pregnant with my first, I felt I must return to work part time after the first 3 months of his life. I had no idea how strong my love for him would be! It surprised me how much anxiety filled me at the thought of returning. I did return, at first 1 day a week, then 2 days a month! Then leaving completely. I remember thinking, " Why didn't anyone warn me how much I would want to be with my children? Why wasn't this talked about in high school?," And then I kept meeting other moms who thought the same.
I whole-heartedly agree. My mother-in-law, who dedicated her life to raising her 12 children recently passed away. All her children surrounded her casket, with great love for a woman that gave her all to them. I can imagine God receiving her in heaven, thanking her for all the times she said "yes" to life and all the sacrifices she did for them.
Love that Trent “waited” for her. My husband did the same. It meant the world to me that my husband was totally open to me working and we made it work. Jesus changed my mind.
Husbands who are struggling with this, be patient and PRAY!
God will bring us around 😊
I tried working the first year of having a baby because I just made sooo much money. But the 60 hour work week was not worth it. Even though our daycare was great and run by a catholic family it still broke my heart to drop my son off every day.
@wholesome122 courageous, mama! 💐
The quote that motherhood is the only role you can't be replaced in has been inspiring to me since I heard the original interview with Laura. I love your female interviews as a new mother discerning the catholic faith.
I was just telling someone recently that I know women who don't want to stay home because the kids hang on them all day. I realized that in times past, kids could go out and play while mom got stuff done. So they weren't hanging on her all day. And the key was community. The mom's helped each other and families knew each other. If mom's did work, sometimes they would take turns watching each other's kids. Family members lived near each other. Today it's not safe for kids to be outside without adults. And since there are less stay at home moms, the moms really need to find a support system in place so they don't go crazy with kids hanging on them all day. It's a big responsibility. And I guess it would be very lonely doing it alone.
People forget how difficult it is. It’s mentally very draining and lonely to be home. And I think our generation is far more conscious about the dangers out there. I don’t think the dangers have become worse. I think previous generations simply didn’t think it was out there or normalized certain experiences. We were left alone so much, but sadly many have fallen prey to a lot of evil people that parents don’t know about. I would never put my kids in that type of situation.
THIS!!!! I’m a stay at home mom and struggling with loneliness pretty badly. All of our neighbors are either seniors, have older kids, or just chose to never have any kids. There’s no groups for young couples or families with young kids at our church. Plus any moms groups I’ve joined they are “trapped” having either a full or part time job. There’s not really any sense of community at our parish other than some good ‘ol “coffee and donuts” maybe once a month where everyone sits at their own tables.
Our society has completely turned its back on stay at home mom’s.
@@truegirl2anna I'm sorry for your loneliness. Maybe homeschool mom's in your area would be a source for friendship even if you don't homeschool or if your kids are too young. I had a cousin who stayed home when the kids were not of school age, however she did sometimes work on occasion at a local office part-time...was at her mom's job... she could bring the kids when they were babies. But anyway, when the kids were babies and toddlers, to get out of the house, she would take them to mommy and me swim class and to the events at the local library, to the gym, and to park district events. She didn't necessarily make deep friendships that way, but it was a great way to get out and mingle a bit. It helped provide entertainment for the kids. When the kids were old enough to join a toddler dance class or sports class, she enrolled them in that. These things were not everyday, she was not over-scheduled. It was the perfect mix of time at home and time out of the house It kept all of them from feeling cooped up. And actually helped them to gain confidence and some talent.
@@truegirl2anna oh and to add ..I wonder if there are mom's that meet and chat via zoom or another app. Maybe there could be some fun long distance friendships made that way, or at least maybe a stay at home mom's support group.
@MW-he4cp you really need the other eyeballs in the room to reduce the load of watching the kids
I was a lawyer before baby and it was the easiest thing for me to walk away even though it’s certainly a big financial sacrifice. One thing that is rarely discussed is that if you try to do both, you will have fewer children. And that is unacceptable to me. The babies are too precious!
So funny and so authentic, Laura! Also, great editing on this, Thursday! I laughed so hard
My wife worked, but she was at home half the day, or working from home, and when she didn't have the kids I did. I was a bit better able to handle them once they were toddlers, so that also worked out (just a personality thing). So we were both kind of working and stay at home, half and half. Later, my wife was more full time when the kids were in school. But she always wanted to change that. Now she's part time, so she just works part of the time the girls are at school. And I'm more full time.
Nothing made me realize the value of stay at home mom's like being a stay at home dad. I also realized how great it was. And I also realized that my wife was better at it than me (at least at this point in our kids' lives). But then she's also better than me at being a worker/income earner!
We made the decisions that made sense for us and let us be with our kids and have time together, including decisions that reduced income for both of us. We both sacrificed in our career. Long term, even though we did it for good reasons, and even if all our choices were right, it was still hard on my wife not to be with the kids, and it was hard on me not being as successful in my career (and that was hard on my wife too). So yeah, the world is messy, and life is flexible, and wisdom walks a carefully chosen and often adapting path. But that doesn't mean you don't pay any price for it. Stay at home moms are awesome. I'm a teacher, and although there is huge variation, the kids with stay at home moms have a huge advantage.
Holy cow, Laura is amazing. Move over Trent. It can be a struggle, but my wife is able to stay home. And it's such an incredible blessing for our family. Thanks for the reminder that we've lucky.
I was in a choir with a woman who had a great intellect. She admitted she was arrogant until she married and started raising children. After five, most of her extra-family interests were pushed out. Rather than be bothered, she said to me "I LOVE being a wife and mother; it uses ALL my talents."
I'm glad my mom stayed home and I'm glad I stayed home with my kids
I had a 25+ year career. Near the end of this career my husband I were blessed with our daughter. I worked for the first few years of her life. I mourned my career when it was OVER. But you know what? I had the best career change. I love being a mom. I stay home, I am my daughters primary educator, I drive her to all her activities. I love it. The rewards are endless. Is my home spotless because I'm home? NO! we live in the chaos of a well loved HOME. We love it. I think I'd become neurotic if we lived in a museum. What an unexpected surprise in finding JOY being a stay at home MOM.
My mom quit her job as soon as she became pregnant with her first. Returning to work was never an option for her - she would LITERALLY cry if she had to leave her babies alone even for 5 minutes!
Really appreciate Laura Horn for bringing up how easy it is to fall into proto-affair like friendships/relationships- very glad this is being acknowledged.
Two things. In my opinion.
#1 stay at home moms are more valuable than all the monetary riches and man made titles combined x infinity.
#2 there is nothing sexier than a woman who does her best through the never ending battles with the daily upkeep of house (through the storm mess of the kids) and the non stop nurturing of those kids. Mom is more intune with her children than a stranger will ever be, she know what each child needs. Moms are the ones who teach us so many valuable morals and ethics.
The world is a better place with mom investing her time and talents into the future than investing it into a depreciating tool we call the dollar.
Stay at home moms do the more important thing. Vocation vs a job.
We need more stay at home moms and we need less stuff and debt for that stuff.
My wife can work for 30,000 a year just so we can afford childcare (and all the annoyance and frustration and logistical issues that come with that) or...she can just not work, and we have a free caregiver. Bonus that shes the childs mother!
I came across this video as I am listening to the song in the time that you gave me. Oh being home with my kids was the best days of my life. I had to go to work because my exhusband left the family. He left me w 4 children. One of which the oldest is a special needs child. He has suffered the most at the hands of ignorance from family court and the school system while I had to work. I am bound and determined to retire at 60 as soon as I can get my retirement. I will be poor but I will have time.
I have a profession that is deeply rewarding and helps humanity. But I must say that I look forward to the day when my work is my family!
My husband makes 30 dollars an hour and I can be a stay at home mom. Most families could afford one income and rather have a large lifestyle and send their babies off with strangers. When my kids are in school I’ll work so we can afford more vacations and more in their college savings accounts but when they’re babies/ toddlers having a mom home is the best gift you can give them.
Why invest a few years only to go backwards and send them off to school? Isn’t avoiding the separation and break down of the family what it’s all about? That doesn’t suddenly change after a few years. Their needs also do not lessen, they simply change. In fact, many wise parents will tell you the burdens only increase with age. Not the time to throw in the towel!
@@andreanease4215 uhh because they’re in school so why would I sit at home while they’re there alone? I’m home from my job in time to get them off the bus
@@trackchampion621 no, I’m asking why they are in school.
@@andreanease4215because I think kids need the social interactions they receive in school and it helps them learn how to exist in a society and deal with conflict and such. Besides that, I’m a scientist and could teach my kids about science really well but not English and math and history and I think my kids deserve a well rounded education from teachers who are trained to teach, especially once they are older so they can prepare for college or a career.
@@trackchampion621 your response perfectly reflects how the system institutionalizes children and make them dependent upon it, which in turn has the victim perpetuate the cycle. The system has perfectly accomplished its goal of making you believe you are lesser and incapable and therefore you need it. It took me a couple of years after children to come out of my institutionalized state, and I’m very thankful I did.
💯. It's crazy how much our opinions change! As a late teenager I planned on being single, working at an advertising firm in a big city. I went to school for it and quickly realized it was incompatible with my morals. I worked and brought in a good income for an early 20yo, fell in love, got pregnant and found myself bawling at the thought of returning to work. I was distracted. I hated pumping. I hated only seeing my kid for an hour or two of awake time a day and others seeing his milestones before I did.
Now I feel for kids who barely see their parents.
I still think there is a place for women in the work world who are passionate about what they do as long as they have no interest in love or children.
(Ironically I think part of the reason most can't afford to stay home IS because it's impossible for one income families to compete with two income families, but if women hadn't all gone off to work in the first place that problem wouldn't exist.)
For such a “progressive” world and for being around all of these feminists almost all of the reactions I get from other mom’s whenever I say I’m a stay at home mom are “oh my gosh you’re so lucky. I wish I could do that!!”
This is such a great conversation and oh my gosh the editing of this clip killed me 😆
Man. I wish more than anything I made enough to allow my wife to stay home and raise our daughter. We are so grateful that we have parents who are engaged and beyond willing to be grandparents and watch our little one.
I'm surprised this even mentioned. You have to be wealthy to afford a stay at home mom. My mom was home but that was the 60's. Different day and time.
As a Muslim, I endorse this message 👍👍👍
Do you literally know how many jobs would be out there and understand how much better society would be if kids got to grow up nurtured by their own mother and not anyone but the mother
Perhaps some folks here are not familiar with a typical traditional Catholic family. Many many families I know have 4-10 kids…on purpose! So not too many spa days for them. These wives sacrifice their own earthly desires by choice to raise kids, often homeschooling them. It’s a countercultural movement for sure. I felt liberated when I decided to stay home with my 4 kids rather than feel enslaved by home and work responsibilities.
Everyone gets to choose their path, no right or wrong here. Just tired of sahm being misrepresented.
Opening myself up for advice here: I have very little passion for work outside the home but I'm good at what I do and I make a lot of money, about four times as much as my husband per hour, in fact. My husband is trying to get a start up off the ground and has made no income for over a year, although he will start pulling a small paycheck in July. He recently picked up a very part-time job to help us make ends meet. We have two kids and one on the way. I desperately want to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschooler but have no idea how we can even come close to making that work. (We also live in Southern California, and haven't thought of moving away because our entire family on both sides lives here.) Advice, prayers, and any and all feedback would be very welcome.
If its only passion that is being effected. I cant see your situation changing much. If your family needs you to be a stay-at-home mom and provide home schooling. Then you and your husband might be willing to sacrifice for it. That might mean moving or lowering your quality of life to achieve the outcome you both want. It just really depends on where you and you husbands priority's are and if what you both are doing, will get you the results you need.
This is gonna be a bit controversial, but can you cut back your hours at work and go part time? That might light a fire under your husband's butt to get the startup going. I say this as an entrepreneur-there are ways to supplement a startups income while you get it off the ground (consulting is the first idea that comes to mind).
@@rpratka7337 Good call on calling out the "passion." I hadn't thought about it that way before. Honestly, though, the actual NEED is there, simply because we have been sending our kids to public school to be educated by "Caesar" and I can see the damage it has done but feel fairly helpless to combat it, although we definitely try. The money is just not there for private school. We could sell our house and move, but is it more important that I be home or more important that we have our family around?
@@heatherayala9520 For me personally, I would say having a wife at home with two kids and one on the way is a must. The only way I see combating "Caesar" effectively. Would be by not allowing Caesar to have access to your children through means of homeschooling. I read as though the NEED is very important, amplified by damage that has already taken place. Having family around does not fix the NEED, as I understand it.
I can empathize. I had a strong pull to stay home with my baby, but my husband had just graduated college and hadn’t gotten his career started yet. I also have chronic illness, so I couldn’t work much pre baby anyways, now not at all. Here’s what we did:
1. Ask st Joseph to provide a stable job that gave us a livable income. Pray and trust God will provide. He certainly answered our prayers.
2. My husband had to sacrifice to make money. Worked jobs he didn’t like, worked weekends, constantly job searched and networked.
3. We budget ruthlessly and are frugal. We only eat out 1-2x a month. Work lunches are all homemade leftovers. Cook from scratch. Buy thrifted clothes only when necessary. Facebook marketplace is great. I grew up homeschooled. Most families ran tight budgets, but having a close family where mom is at home is worth the sacrifice to them.
4. Lean on family and community. Move in with family for a time if that works and you need to. We ate at family’s house for diners a couple times a week one month because we didn’t have much of an income. Ask for hand me downs. Ask for things you’d need to buy, a lot of people would let you borrow or have theirs.
5. Pick up a side hustle if you can/need once you’re working less.
Be patient, pray, be willing to sacrifice. It was a progressive transition for us. We had to rely on God. He came through in His timing. Things are still super tight but my husband now has a stable livable job and I’m a full time homemaker/mom. Best of luck! Hope some of this helps!
Thursday's started to get crazy with these edits
“That’s it.”
“Hey thanks for watching pints” 💀
I can't wait to be a full time mam- 4 months time!
"The most attractive quality in a woman is if she's into me." This is true for me! If anything is going to sucker me in, it's that. I thought it was just me. I make it a point now not to get too personal with women at work.
Love the editing
I'm 32 yo, not married, but dating someone. If I have a baby, I would love to stay home with him/her. Preferably for several years. I think it would break me if I had to return to work, especially because I hate my job
I don’t think women shouldn’t work. But I do think and always believed that when you have very young kids a mother is needed at home. We carry the baby, nurse, and nurture. But once all the kids are in school or simply more independent, there is more time to do something different and some moms crave that. I’m currently a sahm and would love to work in the future! Now if you homeschool, that on its own is a fulltime job. We chose the Catholic school route and we are looking into me working from home once our kids are all in school. I really miss being mentally stimulated
This woman annoyed me at first… but then I realized it’s because we are the same person with the same story.
4:14 is the best edit I've ever seen
I completely respect the choice to be a stay-at-home mom. However, I want nothing to do with shaming working moms. Just because working as a mom might be undesirable for you, it might be a source of joy and peace for someone else, and that is valid. We should never disregard that fathers can be great stay at home parents too or that most women financially need to work. I did not appreciate how this conversation seemed to label working moms as inferior and never even acknowledged single moms. Furthermore, in the United States, we currently have a widespread labor shortage. Have you thought through what would happen to our economy and our welfare system if all moms and all single parents suddenly dropped out?
Hi Matt, I really admire your taste in fashion. Do you mind telling me where you got your vest from? I have been eyeing it for a long time now and would like to buy a similar one online but haven't been able to find one like yours. Thanks!
Women give yourself the gift of being there everyday to raise your children. You will have so much less guilt for not being perfect. Because you have had the time to give it your all.
I think the editor needs a raise.
So just a genuine question from someone confused and stuck... What if you can't convince your wife that your kids are better to raise than to earn almost double the income you could possibly earn. All the while, your kids are the best behaved (and hug us more) of any other kids you've ever met (no joke), the smartest, and they are only half the week raised by their godparents and a very multicultural Casa Montesouri preschool with good Catholic virtues? Like, I get the argument that before contraception or very diligent natural family planning (which was us as protestants and now as Catholics), it was impossible for women to bring home the income and thus God made it this way and it's unnatural for raising children to be the other way. However, in our current context, it feels as if all the evidence/chips are stacked against me to even suggest us swapping roles. Add to this the fact that I am involved in Christian apologetics and helping many youth at universities find and strengthen their faith while evangelising others pretty well... Which was my passion prior to becoming Catholic 2 years ago as a non-Catholic evangelical who had no support or understanding of the role of a husband or father...
I am lost as to the ability to argue for even trying it the other way to our current arrangement, and nothing you've shared in these videos, or any of the ones you've done on this subject, has helped me discern what to make of our circumstances. I am pretty sure I've even talked to the most respectable priests I know (conservative ones from Opus Dei and who do latin mass), but they haven't given me any decent advice apart from "I don't know" and Shia Labeouf's "just do it!"... Do you have better spiritual resources on this? Or is it the issue of our time and we need good apologists who can illuminate this matter for people like my family...?
So many women are insecure these days, and I think the root of this is because they aren’t truly valued in the workplace. They are replaceable. At home, when they love and cherish their husband and children, they feel the reciprocation more
Completely agree
Can you seriously not tell this woman is insecure? Did we watch the same video? She’s barely holding it together.
Someone should do one on the mental suicide of a stay at home dad. She nailed it about her husbands struggles. I’m there. Love my son but It sucks.
❤️ It's has been very beautiful for woman to see the massively important role to stay home but WE STRUGGLE SOOOO MUCH. We don't know how to. The generation we have to look up to has almost nothing for us! Maybe it's just me but it's so hard! 💔
It is hard. I am a convert to Catholicism and my mom died when I was a teen so although she was a wonderful mom, she hadn’t been a Catholic mom and because she died when I was so young and I had to literally “man up” and be very independent and look after myself and go to work etc. (my dad was very ill and also died when I was a teen) I never learnt to cook and I have NO interest in it, I am very academic and analytical and love to read, debate and did very well at school and college and the paid workforce but being home..I didn’t have the skills. But what I did have was I LOVED my kids and they all tell me how grateful they are that I was always there (my husband has a challenging job). Especially when they are little (under 5) it’s very sacrificial. You have to die to yourself. It has paid off in the long run, we are a very close knit family and get on really well. I thank God for that. I am now training to go back to work (my youngest is 16).
Hello, can you recommend the name of the book from Melanie about her death after giving birth please?
TIM GORDON FOR THE W
Mandatory comment to help Pints
Are your kids' grandparents also in Steubenville?
I'd love opinions on this. If both a husband and wife genuinely enjoy their job what should happen with the childcare situation. I will have a job that is higher paying and requires travel. My wife would be an at-home care nurse so she would be able to be home more than me but not full time. What would we do to fill in the gaps?
Husband and I both work from home. We’ve hired a nanny to fill in gaps while working core hours and it works out very well for us.
@@trainwithtonja4426 that sounds lovely, thank you. We've talked about having nanny's there's always just been this sense of " are we abandoning our parental duties" if we take that route
Honestly, I’ve combatted similar feelings. My husband and I tried without a nanny while both working at home. We have a teen, a toddler and I’m currently pregnant. We managed for several months, but at the expense of health and peace of mind. It hit a point where we were burning the candle at all ends and I personally started to feel ineffective as a parent and wife. I know what you mean about feelings of abandoning parental responsibilities. I’ve struggled with that too. Now having a nanny, I try to see it less of abandoning parental duties and more of enhancing our child’s day-to-day. I also defined a curriculum for the nanny to follow so it feels more like she’s going to school.
@@trainwithtonja4426 I love that approach. Thank you
who's the editor for this clip😂👌
I always like to say that God calls different people to different callings. There is a sense of fulfillment that comes with ones job or career and no one should be denied it, but there is also more to the story than that. Couples have to reconcile their individual feelings, personalities, and goals with the reality they are in. My point is that its different from one couple to the other and neither should be judged too harshly for the decision they make so long as they make the decision together as a couple. I have to have some sense of awareness as I am not a homebody per se and I like to have the freedom to go out and make an impact on the world.
I grew up in a very wealthy community and there were more SAHM/housewives than your average American town. These families were not really religious and didn't homeschool their children either, therefore there was really no reason for the mothers to be SAHM. The housewives mostly just shopped all day, played tennis, got beauty treatments done, and drank alcohol. I think this is what a lot of people think of when they think of a housewife, they think she's lazy (honestly a lot of them are..)
Perhaps you are not familiar with a typical traditional Catholic family. Many many families I know have 4-10 kids…on purpose! So not too many spa days for them. These wives sacrifice their own earthly desires by choice to raise kids, often homeschooling them. It’s a countercultural movement for sure. I felt liberated when I decided to stay home with my 4 kids rather than feel enslaved by home and work responsibilities.
Everyone gets to choose their path, no right or wrong here. Just tired of sahm being misrepresented..
@@lucillefrehlich8564 Yes, I think that's beautiful.. I want that too. I was describing what people esp outside Catholic circles might think of when they hear the word SAHM or housewife.
Of course for people without children or with few children it’s very much a status symbol if your wife can stay home and spend her time making herself and your home look gorgeous and just create a stress free home and stability. This used to be open to more women but the cost of living and certain life choices has either made it financially impossible for people or they think it’s impossible. They also have been raised with an outlook that says a woman who just focuses on herself and her family and doesn’t earn a wage is “lazy” even though that wasn’t considered the case a few decades ago.
Better Friedan and other feminists who felt trapped in their suburban homes did not always appreciate that for working class women it was often considered a much better option where you a had more control over your life and environment than working a factory job or other unsatisfying work. Now secular society has made it seem you have to be rich and/or lazy to not have a full time paid job outside the home.
It’s very countercultural now. The true social rebels are focusing only on marriage family and homemaking and often homesteading.
@@viviennedunbar3374 so true!!
Upper class housewives are a whole different breed...What we are really looking at is lower middle class housewives who would work only to barely afford childcare. We would also consider upper middle class housewives who likely work part-time or remotely while at home, with multiple college degrees. Those in the lower middle class are more likely to homeschool and be homesteaders (and more religious).
The stereotype of the lazy housewife was tied to middle class women between those two income levels, but it's no longer relevant because that middle of the middle class is the least likely to have housewives anymore.
Those upper class housewives you mentioned probably have one or two college degrees, an inheritance, and their own investments. They have little to risk.
The poorest housewives risk more but the benefits are spiritual and deeper if nothing goes wrong. There's is more to gain in choosing a traditional lifestyle and not being a lazy worker or lazy housewife (some jobs require no real effort these days).
It’s a luxury to stay at home if you can afford to
It's interesting hearing her talk about getting close to a male coworker...what about when your husband works primarily with women?
It seems like that one goes both ways.
Bro, the first 40 seconds were so kek.
“I would burn her house down…” I have found my people. 😂.
I was the same way, I strongly believe that women should stay home and take care of their husband, kids and home.
I was so wrong !
Comment to algorithm boost
She sounds kinda nutty tbh. Still has the workforce giggles with zero work ethic going on.
I agree with the message overall but it’s kinda difficult to follow up with someone who sounds childish. I’m a stay at home mother since my early 20s. I’m 36 today with 5 children, a corporate wife and have many material blessings- all earned. The key is don’t compare yourself to others. Have self control. Give up instant pleasure for long term inner happiness. Don’t participate in this world more than you have to. Men are better in this outside world (it’s a man’s world) and women are better making a home. Read books. Chase after Christ, which is a lifelong journey.
It’s just her natural voice, she talks in the long form interview about how young she sounds and looks. She is also still in her late 20s, early 30s. Sure she sounds ditzy but she is also very funny and genuine. Have you watched her comedy channel? I am sure she isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but I find her hilarious, especially because she is so real and will talk about absolutely anything. She is obviously a real extrovert. She is also smart, I wouldn’t judge too quickly. Her husband has a brain as big as a planet, I am sure he couldn’t cope with an idiotic wife. She is a qualified nurse.
1000th viewer
If it's not a moral sin, why do women need to justify it? Seems more like the guest was thinking of cheating and that's the real reason why she quit. That's the moral sin, not working.
Most mom's can't afford to do this. If both parents work it's still hard enough. I'm very surprised you even mentioned this.
Your comment about replacing Cameron if she dies is insensitive. Why didn't you keep that comment to yourself? No mother ever wants to be replaced or compared to another woman let alone think of dying early. I don't like your attitude I'm unsubscribing. I hope Cameron gave you an ear bashing.
Such a strikingly “on edge,” negative-vibing person - this is physically uncomfortable to watch. If you can’t immediately tell that this is a deeply troubled person who needs to work on hee own stuff and stop presuming to teach others, you need to grow in spiritual and emotional discernment. Over the years I’ve observed that this combination - a woman who checks all the right gender role boxes, but is patently unfeminine, self-vaunting, and simmering with badly concealed anger - is very common in traditional Catholic communities. You can tell they’re deeply unhappy - in my experience, because they’re in the grips of rigorism and have completely surrendered their personal agency to merciless, box-checking legalism. In reality most women, unless they are truly desperate or truly luxuriating in privilege, have different seasons of life with regard to work and family and are gentle and understanding about the fact that other women and families have their own rhythms and reasons about this and that the details of that for another family are usually none of our business. And the absolute state of Catholicism, that the idea that it might be a sin to work could even be floated. These people aren’t theologically literate enough to know there’s a definite official answer on this, let alone the reasons underlying it and the whole rationale behind what is and isn’t a sin in Catholicism. Instead of studying all that they sit around angrily speculating about what “excuses” other families have. And yet they dare adorn themselves with the name of Aquinas!
No, stay-at-home parenting requires very little intellectual exertion. It's a waste of life and talent, really; and I'd much sooner respect a tough female lawyer than a stay-at-home mother.
Do u say that because you have children?
How do you know life is more valuable ( more respectable) based on level of intellectual exertion, even moreso than the care and nurture of children?
Maybe your standards are off.
I would also argue a lot of SAHMs provide more intellectual rigor for their children than the public schools (speaking as a SAHM who used to teach in public schools and now homeschools her children and knows lots of homeschool moms who have high standards for their children).
I'm sorry you feel that way,you clearly don't realize how much creativity,patience, and intellect it does take if you actually homeschool children properly and not just watch after them. To raise them up being smarter and more independent than the majority of kids that go through the regular school system. It definitely is not a waste if you value the future of your children. But hey everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is yours but to say it takes no intellectual exertion is just ignorant.
I don’t think it’s either/or. We don’t need to pit women against each other because of their choices. Being at home full time is hard and many Catholic mothers are homeschooling numerous children. My best friend homeschooled her 6 with her husband and they already have 3 through college, 1 who is a NICU nurse and married husband with a ph.d, 2 in college and 1 in high school. You don’t raise smart successful kids if you are “wasting your life”.