The best I heard Attorney: judge my client is requesting a continuance Judge: on what basis Attorney: my client is on a religious journey Judge: did he say specifically where he was going Attorney: he is following the band phish on tour and is requesting a continuance till Feb (about 6 months at the time) Judge: I thought you were going to say Jerusalem or mecca Needless to say the Judge was not amused and a warrant was issued for his arrest
I was at the scene of an accident years ago. It involved 2 cars on an icy road. Let's call them car A and B. They were headed in opposite directions, but had not passed each other. Driver of car A says to the cop "Car B must have hit some ice or something. Her car spun around several times and then stopped in front of me right before I hit her. There was no time to react, it happened so fast." Driver of car B says to the cop "They are lying. I stopped before they hit me!!!!!!!" Driver of car A "Yes, you stopped in my lane right before I hit you." Cop then says "They are not arguing that point. They totally agree with you." Driver of car B looked like she just won the argument. The cop then starts writing her a ticket for driving to fast on icy roads.
and im pretty sure speculation is not an allowable argument in court either. also you cant know how much prostitutes cost because its unregulated business. the fact that the state doesnt know how much they make is what makes prostitution illegal and porn legal.
Since a couple people complained the video is too slow... ima say the opposite, perfect speed, dont have to wait 3 minutes for it to change to the next slide
My father was at trial when he was looking up something. Co-counsel nudged him and my dad objected. When the judge asked what grounds, my father said, “He told me to.” The objection was sustained.
I had to testify for my sister (who's a wee bit of a trollop or sexually available, however you want to say). She had chlamydia and started dating someone new. This new guy Jake was no good and talked down to her, grabbed her as he pleased, etc. He ended up assaulting her at some point, and I had to go testify in court as it was me she phoned right after the assault happened. Judge - did you know what was going on, how he treated her before this assault? Me - yes your honour. It was not good. He was abusive emotionally, physically. I told her she needs to get rid of Jake like how she needs to get rid of the clap
@giancarlocarattini4985 as an actual lawyer who is actually in court on a regular basis, random members of the public rarely if ever employ their time sitting in courtrooms for entertainment or disinterested observation purposes. The entire "audience" tends to consist of people who are involved or there for a higher purpose- parties, families or professional support people, lawyers, jurors, court staff and perhaps journalists. Again, it is not a theatre show or anything. I wouldn't describe the people present as an "audience".
@@lilymarinovic1644 Yes, I know that, my Learned Sister. I, too, am an actual attorney that works in actual courtrooms. I'm not the one that called the gallery an "audience". I was making the correction.
If you tap on the video there should be a little gear, that's settings, you have all sorts of options like video resolution and playback speed. Set playback speed to 2x so you have less time to read it
1:00 Serious question from the UK, what is the rule/law with stop signs? Obviously you have to stop, but in the absence of any other directions, how long are you supposed to wait?
Until the way is clear. Once you can clear the intersection before approaching traffic arrives, you may go. If there is no approaching traffic, all that is required is a distinct stop. I look left, look right, then look left again before proceeding. Some intersections have stop signs on intersecting roads, like the one from the North, the one from the South, and the one from the East. In that instance, traffic approaching from the West always has the right of way. Of the other three, the first auto to stop has the right of way. If two or three autos stop simultaneously on intersecting roads, the one to the right (Stateside; that's the kerb side here) has the right of way.I don't ever recall seeing that when I was stationed in the UK; I suppose the authorities would install a roundabout there and call it good.
@@Qualicabyss Unambiguously identify four roads along with the direction of travel on them. Do so for an international audience. Now, what does your solution look like? Seriously. I'm interested in seeing what you come up with. Maybe I can learn something.
@alflyover4413 the fact that I can't think of anything better doesn't reduce the impracticality of using compass directions. What if they aren't in a clear direction? Plus most of the time you'd have no idea which way is which
@@Qualicabyss My car (a 1997 Ford Explorer) has a built in compass, so I always know which way I'm headed. What it does NOT have is a clock, which seems odd to me.
On all your videos you always change the slide too quickly. I have to pause it very often but then the slide bar might cover the bottom lines which is a bit of a pain. Can't you just slow your video down a sec.
The best I heard
Attorney: judge my client is requesting a continuance
Judge: on what basis
Attorney: my client is on a religious journey
Judge: did he say specifically where he was going
Attorney: he is following the band phish on tour and is requesting a continuance till Feb (about 6 months at the time)
Judge: I thought you were going to say Jerusalem or mecca
Needless to say the Judge was not amused and a warrant was issued for his arrest
I was at the scene of an accident years ago. It involved 2 cars on an icy road. Let's call them car A and B. They were headed in opposite directions, but had not passed each other. Driver of car A says to the cop "Car B must have hit some ice or something. Her car spun around several times and then stopped in front of me right before I hit her. There was no time to react, it happened so fast." Driver of car B says to the cop "They are lying. I stopped before they hit me!!!!!!!" Driver of car A "Yes, you stopped in my lane right before I hit you." Cop then says "They are not arguing that point. They totally agree with you." Driver of car B looked like she just won the argument. The cop then starts writing her a ticket for driving to fast on icy roads.
"Awwwe. Okay... so he's with us in spirit."🤡
Would have been better if it was a murder case and the client was the victim.
All very interesting cases, and humourous.
2:46 - I'm pretty sure that, unless you're going for the really high-end courtesans, lawyers cost more than prostitutes.
I never would have guessed...
Either way it’s good to start your Defence at “dead broke” and then fight to to reveal every dollar from there.
and im pretty sure speculation is not an allowable argument in court either. also you cant know how much prostitutes cost because its unregulated business. the fact that the state doesnt know how much they make is what makes prostitution illegal and porn legal.
Since a couple people complained the video is too slow... ima say the opposite, perfect speed, dont have to wait 3 minutes for it to change to the next slide
actually, had to pause it a couple of times coz i was laughing (my eyes close when i laugh, so can't read). Besides that, yes speed is fine.
My father was at trial when he was looking up something. Co-counsel nudged him and my dad objected.
When the judge asked what grounds, my father said, “He told me to.”
The objection was sustained.
🤣🤣
3:45 that's ace attorney basically.
As well as 8:06 at least regarding the judge
(Stands up and points, while yelling "Objection!") for those not familiar with the video game
great music
I had to testify for my sister (who's a wee bit of a trollop or sexually available, however you want to say). She had chlamydia and started dating someone new. This new guy Jake was no good and talked down to her, grabbed her as he pleased, etc. He ended up assaulting her at some point, and I had to go testify in court as it was me she phoned right after the assault happened.
Judge - did you know what was going on, how he treated her before this assault?
Me - yes your honour. It was not good. He was abusive emotionally, physically. I told her she needs to get rid of Jake like how she needs to get rid of the clap
You trashing your sister to total strangers for some stupid internet attention speaks volumes about your character.
You don't have an "audience" in court, it's not a theatre show. You just have people present in the courtroom.
Members of the gallery. The public sits in the gallery to observe court.
@giancarlocarattini4985 as an actual lawyer who is actually in court on a regular basis, random members of the public rarely if ever employ their time sitting in courtrooms for entertainment or disinterested observation purposes.
The entire "audience" tends to consist of people who are involved or there for a higher purpose- parties, families or professional support people, lawyers, jurors, court staff and perhaps journalists.
Again, it is not a theatre show or anything. I wouldn't describe the people present as an "audience".
@@lilymarinovic1644 Yes, I know that, my Learned Sister. I, too, am an actual attorney that works in actual courtrooms. I'm not the one that called the gallery an "audience". I was making the correction.
Two tires were in court!Judge"biased?"#1well I am bias #2 I am radial! Judge"Did you say RADICAL hmmm??!!
You need to slow the pace down a bit. I did not have enough time to read the long ones.
If you tap on the video there should be a little gear, that's settings, you have all sorts of options like video resolution and playback speed. Set playback speed to 2x so you have less time to read it
There's a pause button.
1:00 Serious question from the UK, what is the rule/law with stop signs? Obviously you have to stop, but in the absence of any other directions, how long are you supposed to wait?
Until the way is clear. Once you can clear the intersection before approaching traffic arrives, you may go. If there is no approaching traffic, all that is required is a distinct stop. I look left, look right, then look left again before proceeding.
Some intersections have stop signs on intersecting roads, like the one from the North, the one from the South, and the one from the East. In that instance, traffic approaching from the West always has the right of way. Of the other three, the first auto to stop has the right of way. If two or three autos stop simultaneously on intersecting roads, the one to the right (Stateside; that's the kerb side here) has the right of way.I don't ever recall seeing that when I was stationed in the UK; I suppose the authorities would install a roundabout there and call it good.
@alflyover4413 really? We use compass directions? That's a really dumb way to do it
@@Qualicabyss Unambiguously identify four roads along with the direction of travel on them. Do so for an international audience. Now, what does your solution look like?
Seriously. I'm interested in seeing what you come up with. Maybe I can learn something.
@alflyover4413 the fact that I can't think of anything better doesn't reduce the impracticality of using compass directions. What if they aren't in a clear direction? Plus most of the time you'd have no idea which way is which
@@Qualicabyss My car (a 1997 Ford Explorer) has a built in compass, so I always know which way I'm headed. What it does NOT have is a clock, which seems odd to me.
On all your videos you always change the slide too quickly. I have to pause it very often but then the slide bar might cover the bottom lines which is a bit of a pain.
Can't you just slow your video down a sec.
You can manually slow it down via the little cogwheel.
That's not how you spell "awww....".
Aww...