Oink Oink.. I see the MOON appear before Me.. having your Picture to look at.. I would be asking.. WHEN can I see YOU.. what would you do if I do see YOU.. and in the Other hand is the Bottle of rice wine.. SOJU in my hand.. and the Lid is popped UP open.. instead of sitting in the room by the desk.. I have drive my car out where I am sitting on the Dock of the Lake.. in the room it gets very stuff some times.. and being the room makes me sick many time.. that is why I have changed a different Place.. in a new location.. sitting on the Dock.. the wind blows few times on my face and I feel like I can breathe better when I am out here at the dock of the Lake.. I saw the Sun setting In as I would stay through the day.. just trying to get away from the clutter that has been eating UP my Mind.. but when I look at the Moon.. why do I feel like there is something Missing.. that Missing is YOU.. your Presence.. only if YOU were here with me sitting on this Dock.. Looking at the SUN going down.. just enjoy the breeze of the wind blowing in your face.. and watching the MOON come UP.. and when YOU are not here.. I start to ask.. WHERE are YOU.. can YOU Hear me when I call Out your Name.. Do you hear me here on the Other Side.. can YOU Please wave your Hand if YOU hear me.. so that I know that YOU have listened to my Voice calling for Your Name.. and If I see that YOU Heard me and my voice calling for YOU.. I would be waving back at you with the tears in my eyes saying.. YOU finally heard me calling Out your Name.. calling for YOU.. crying Out your Name to YOU.. Please hear me Out.. and I would wave.. when I notice here as the Night comes UP and as I watch the sun goes Down.. my hand holding unto your Picture and I am Looking at YOU.. just wishing if YOU know my Heart.. if you know that I love YOU.. do YOU believe my words when I say or tell you.. or write to tell YOU that I love YOU.. do you think that it is nothing but fun joking matters because NOW.. when I tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. it has become More serious then ever to tell you these words to YOU.. and as I am sitting here in the Dock of the Lake alone.. watching the waters in peace.. my hand.. the left is holding unto your Picture.. and I would take a LOOK at this Picture of YOU and say to YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I know that YOU Heard of these words of Mine many times as time keeps on going On.. that I would tell YOU.. My Heart misses YOU.. I miss YOU and It kills me that I can't be there with YOU.. I wonder why can't I be the One to be there.. close to YOU.. near you and I would open my arms to hold YOU CLOSE.. near and to be still inside my arms.. I would ask YOU.. would you please let me hold you close.. please come closer into my arms.. my arms missing YOU and feels so empty without YOU being in these arms.. let me please HOLD YOU close and to be still next to YOU.. Please.. come closer.. my arms.. these arms telling me I want to hold YOU so that I can feel the warm and that closeness I wanted to be for so LONG with YOU.. my eyes fills UP with tears because I know that YOU are not here.. even though I truly.. my Heart truly wants you close.. I know in truth and in reality YOU just can't.. and that is why I cry.. I ache in pains because I know that YOU can't be with Me.. and I am asking YOU why.. why can't you ever be with Me.. looking at your Picture and my tears.. it grows stronger as my tears flows out down like the Pouring Rain.. and I turn to look at the waters of the Lake.. that is How heavy my tears wants to shed looking at the FULLNESS of the waters of this Lake.. sitting on this dock.. I am wondering.. am I waiting for something.. am I waiting for YOU.. who am I waiting for when I know that YOU are far away from Me.. and the Other hand holding the Bottle of the Rice wine.. SOJU.. I would open my mouth to drink.. pouring into like the tears I want to shed of the rain waters.. and I stop drinking.. I just can't believe YOU are gone.. that YOU are so Far.. but I know that I want you near me.. close in my arms.. knowing that I am poor.. knowing that I know that I have not much to give YOU.. it makes me want to cry more because I want to give YOU so much More.. but a true Artist with a Passion do Not make a lot of Money because HE chooses Art and being Poor instead of wealth and having A lot of Money.. I have chosen to be More POOR but to know my Own Art.. that is the Only way I can tell YOU truly How my Heart really feels which right NOW.. I am Missing YOU so bad and I love YOU.. I am looking at the Bottle of the rice wine.. and I see that I drank a lot of it.. and It has become empty Bottle.. placing the Empty Bottle on the ground.. I wonder if YOU can hear me.. as I am looking at your Picture.. and I would turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would get UP on two Legs.. standing UP and trying to be still at the same time.. when YOU drink the whole Bottle of the rice wine.. SOJU.. and trying to focus.. I can see fog like.. trying to get the clear vision straight.. I just feel like I am dying so Bad here.. I want to tell YOU.. but How can I tell YOU if you are miles and miles apart from Me.. I know you are so Far away.. How am I to tell you anything if YOU are so Far away and leaving me to die alone.. so I turn to the MOON.. can this MOON help me.. I am asking this MOON.. will you Please Help Me.. Help me because I am dying inside.. My Heart is dying inside.. because I love YOU.. and I miss YOU TOO.. what happens when It becomes this GREAT PAIN.. not just a Pain or ache here or there but the ACHING has grown so Big.. it feels Like I have tumors everywhere because I am dying for YOUR LOVE.. I think I am Not going to be living a very long time because I ache in great pain.. that maybe I will faint and perish just loving YOU.. I have never loved this Long or this STRONG In my Life but loving YOU has made it my strongest to share to YOU.. but I feel a lot of Pain.. so much pain that I can't go On.. like when YOU are trying to walk after a big car crash.. it takes time to heal your Body then you should start walking right.. I got into a Big Crash of loving YOU.. I need time to heal but.. I just keep on going for It.. I keep on asking and asking.. begging YOU and Pleading for YOUR HEART.. for YOU.. but I don't hear YOU say anything back to Me.. and I am standing before the MOON.. holding the Picture in my one hand.. crying with my tears pouring Out.. telling that MOON that Love Hurts.. and I be looking at your picture.. LOOKING UP at the MOON asking.. that MOON do not even care.. it won't answer me but I would still say.. that LOVE really Hurts when YOU really Miss and Love you at the same time together.. that I want to stomp my feet on the ground hard because I would say WHY do Love Hurts me so Bad even though I just Love YOU.. why don't you get it.. why can't you understand this Heart of Mine that I really Love YOU.. I love you where I can feel it in such great pains Now.. and I just want to sit and cry my heart Out.. yelling Out Loud and shouting from the lungs because I want to tell YOU.. look at what YOU have made me do.. because loving YOU put pains all over my Body.. what if I die because of Loving YOU too much and just too strong.. asking and asking you to PLEASE just notice me Once.. Please hear my words of Plea asking YOU.. know that My Heart.. that I love YOU.. How many more Letters do I needs to write to TELL you that I love YOU.. DO I have to smash this EMPTY SOJU BOTTLE to let out my emotions to let YOU know.. My Heart feels like this Broken GLASS BOTTLE.. shattered everywhere because My Heart.. I love YOU but YOU won't answer Me.. why can't you tell me that YOU are listening.. why can't you admit that YOU truly understand my Heart that YOU know what I am going through.. that WHEN YOU LOVE this Much.. Great Pains just pours out and Hits you everywhere in your Body parts.. I fall and on two knees.. as I lift UP my Head still looking at the MOON.. I am crying Out.. Hand beating on my Chest because It hurts.. Loving YOU Hurts me too much Now.. It kills Me now because when I love YOU.. I love you with ALL MY HEART and I go ALL in for Your Heart.. so Let me Know that I can still Love you.. let me Love you.. even one day.. when YOU LOOK UP at the Sky and the NIGHT COMES before your eyes.. when YOU see the MOON.. what YOU will see is that the MOON will be crying.. YOU WILL see tears in that MOON because that MOON knows how much I loved YOU until I had to die for it and it becomes a very sad story because I could not make it.. when YOU love too much.. sometimes it is very Hard to breathe on the Other side.. it Hurts.. and It keeps on hurting because LOVING YOU do come with the Cost.. that real LOVE.. you can die because TOO MUCH YOU LOVE.. just the Over Flow of that giving of heart to Love YOU.. that I love you.. there will be a day.. the MOON will cry.. because the MOON will see that where am I at.. the MOON knows how many times I come Out in the Night and I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. showing Your Picture to the MOON and pouring Out my Heart as I am crying.. telling that MOON like it is a friend.. but I know that MOON cannot do anything but just watch me crying.. in great pains I fall on the ground.. and I cry some More because I love you.. and I would say.. I miss you so Much.. I am dying.. my Heart is dying because I love you just too MUCH.. what do I do.. the MOON cannot even help me.. and One Night.. the MOON will see the casket and it be me inside that Casket as I am buried to Death of loving YOU.. I suffer and cry and in great Pain I cry and cry out Loud calling Out your name to YOU as I am looking UP at the MOON and showing it who you are and ALL I wanted to say to YOU is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love you so Much.. I feel like I am dying for
MAH MAH.. Deep in the garden is a Cave.. and big Cave that I found with my three friends who lives in the Garden.. and I told my best friend that I saw You.. MAH MAH.. I saw CONG JU NIM when I was travelling with my father.. and Told my best friend that something has Happen to my Heart.. that I can feel that I am In Love with YOU MAH MAH.. that I started to Love CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I decided to get Out and have a walk alone.. could Not sleep in the tent size Hut Home.. room with my father.. and I went to the Big Cave.. sitting alone.. I have candles to Light to see the big Cave.. I did not expect anyone to come because I did Not tell any of my three friends.. I just can't sleep.. walking through the Woods with my Tall trees.. I would stop to LOOK UP at the Sky.. I see the MOON appear before me.. of course YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM do Not know my Heart.. because I did Not let you hear what I has to say.. but Alone I felt just loving YOU.. but the MOON looks so Beautiful Out Here when YOU stand alone.. but I am wondering.. Is that HOW BIG MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. your Heart looks.. I am looking at this MOON.. the MOON APPEARS to look so much Bigger Now.. before I did NOT Notice about HOW BIG OR SMALL the Size of that MOON was until I met YOU.. after meeting YOU and seeing you the first time.. My Father tells me that HE was promoted to be the Head servant.. which the Poor People at the Garden celebrated having a Great Feast.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. I never thought my Father would be this Happy.. my Father tells me that He is going to be serving YOU.. the One who is suppose to carry Out and with Other Lower Servants around HIM.. they are suppose to help YOU around the CHAMBERS where you stay.. I guess that is what the Servants do.. but remember MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. My Father may be the Head servant who carries out and do the work as what the slaves do in the House.. I have a Bigger dream than my Father.. but.. knowing that It is YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I don't feel any shame because I am going to show YOU MUCH More than what my father can show YOU.. as long as it is YOU MAH MAH.. I would stand by this Tree.. it is before going into the Big Cave.. and it is the last tree before I walk in the Big CAVE.. and has a distance where the Leaves are NOT on your way.. where I can stop.. and take a Look UP at the Sky.. and Looking at that MOON.. I am standing in AWE because I am thinking of the size of Your Heart.. I know and I believe to be the Next RULER.. to be the Next SUCCESSION on the Line.. YOU must have that KIND OF SIZE of a HEART to rule and Run this Nation.. or It just can't go NOWHERE.. and I am LOOKING.. That BIG MOON.. the BIG HEART that I see in CONG JU NIM.. that MOON SIZE BIG HEART that MAH MAH has.. I wonder.. I want to see your Real Heart.. is it really that BIG like the MOON I am seeing right Now.. I want to see your HEART CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and before I would walk into the Big Cave.. I am LOOKING at the sky One more time before I go into the Big Cave.. I am sitting inside the Big Cave.. I drew a MAP.. of remembering the Place.. my Father took me by the Horse and How he travelled so Far.. I had to remember the road He took me when he was holding Unto the Strings of Horse.. and with One CANDLE Stick.. I want to see you again.. But I know it is going to be a far walk.. I need this time so that I may know around.. I have lack of experience of travelling because I am dreaming of going into that PALACE.. One day I am going to take that Military Art and the training ground exam.. I want to be the palace guard.. and from there.. I want to get close to YOU MAH MAH.. but I needs to take this step right NOW.. or else I will never get there.. as I am Looking at this Paper of the road MAP I drew.. the first travel on this Horse.. MAH MAH.. will you be mad if I go to see YOU.. I know I be getting there without your Permission.. would you be angry at me if I showed UP out of nowhere.. I want to see YOU AGAIN MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. will you allow me to come visit you even though I am only asking for a very short time.. I just want to see YOU before I would forget your Face.. I have never seen such a Beautiful face.. you are so Beautiful MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and as I am looking through the traces of the Lines I drew of this paper Map.. I am voices.. and Foot steps inside the BIG Cave.. and it got my attention away from the paper Map.. as I turn to LOOK front.. I see three of the friends who lives in this Garden.. they are all poor boys who lives in tents made of Huts with two rooms.. and the Best friend of mine.. He shows me something that I will never forget.. it is the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and Places in on the ground.. there is a Village close to the Garden and a BOY is an Artist.. and He has found a WAY to draw this Picture.. of MAH MAH.. the Picture of YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. and I just can't believe it.. is it really the Picture of YOU.. is this really CONG JU NIM.. and My hands grabs on the Sides.. being very careful with.. I do not want to put any wrinkles.. pulling it close to LOOK.. I can't.. I Just can't believe it.. it is YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. How can this Boy draw picture like this.. It looks as real as YOU.. even though it is just an Art Sketch Paper.. the Work of an ART.. an artist is Born.. but YOU.. MAH MAH has given me something to Dream ON and to work with in my Life.. and the three boys sat down next to Me.. and I turn to LOOK at the three Boys.. and I looked at them.. I know that ONE DAY I am going to the palace.. I believe there is MUCH WORK to be DONE.. for CONG JU NIM.. WE.. together as Brothers can go to the Palace and HELP rebuild for CONG JU NIM to become the SUCCESSION.. to help MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM to succeed.. the THRONE belongs to MAH MAH.. and the three Boys looks at me.. and I see tears in all of our eyes.. I can Dream.. and WE.. as a TEAM can DREAM building together for this NATION.. for this COUNTRY and.. the Four of us inside this BIG CAVE starts to cry together.. I love MY CONG JU NIM.. I look at the three Boys getting UP after wiping the Tears and they leave the Big Cave and I sit alone.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Work.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I put my right Hand on my chest.. CAN YOU FEEL my Heart.. Only if YOU are here CONG JU NIM.. I would let you listen to the Heart beat the SOUND that is making at this Moment right after I received this Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I just could Not stand UP because It caught me off guard.. TOOK my breathe away leaving me with NO WORDS to express.. I wanted to say to YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. the three of the friends here at the Garden.. we were born together.. in a Poor families but connected because the Poverty in this situation.. there is ONE who is the best friend who is the closest like a brother I don't have.. we made a Pack and Now two more friends has joined to take this Journey together to go to YOU.. that NOW.. MAH MAH.. I wanted to know where I was going.. where I am suppose to head.. NO direction.. and NO dreams were given.. but the DAY I saw YOU.. when I saw YOU sitting On the Horse.. and Your FATHER.. PEH HA next to YOU standing on bare feet.. when I was down ON two Knees.. Arm stretched forward and Head looking down.. Letting YOU know that I am going to protect and defend YOU as the soldier.. as a warrior for the Nation.. Your Father.. PEH HA turns to LOOK at YOU.. and He gave YOU a Stick to YOU.. surprised with my Father.. and MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. like holding the Sword YOU Pointed at Me.. and I lifted UP my Head looking UP toward YOU.. I was too surprised.. that is when YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. the KING SAID to my Father.. I will be a great of Help for the PRINCESS.. CONG JU NIM of building this NATION stronger together.. and NOW.. I am sitting in this BIG CAVE thinking about that DAY I saw the STICK YOU pointed at ME.. telling me that I am allowed to enter the PALACE when the TIME comes.. my friends ARE all filled with Awe because dreaming together was Never this thing or never been this CLOSE.. MAH MAH.. as I am wiping my tears with my arms.. I am Nothing but just a POOR Boy.. who has Nothing more but to die with Others here in the Garden.. they don't have any dreams too.. and I see bodies every day laying in this Garden.. that is why I can NOW say I love YOU.. that YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. if I never met YOU that day.. Not just about Me.. but the Poor People in the Garden too and the Next to Us is the village of more poor people who has useless lives.. MAH MAH.. WE NEED your HELP so that the NATION can be more stronger.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. when YOU gave me the Permission with the STICK.. it is going to be even the GARDEN and the VILLAGE.. the People WHO has no Dreams can NOW dream together to MAKE this COUNTRY.. this NATION GREAT and stronger Once again.. I believe that YOU are the ONE who has the Key to Open the DOORS for the People that needs to dream to come alive so people can live again.. as I am sitting inside this BIG CAVE.. wiping my tears Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would grab Hold unto the Art Sketch Paper.. drawing picture of YOU.. blowing the candle out.. and I would walk Out of the Big Cave.. Now I believe after receiving this Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. I can go back into the Tent size HUT home and sleep.. I get to LOOK at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I stop.. and I lift UP to LOOK UP at the Sky.. the MOON is so Big appearing before me.. looking at
MAH MAH.. Shows me that I.. Believe YOUR HEART is as big as the MOON.. that BIG SIZE of that Heart for this Country.. for the Nation.. for the Poor people here at the Garden and next to US the VILLAGE people as well.. MAH MAH.. IF I did Not go with my Father that day.. I wasn't feeling right and I did Not wanted to go with HIM.. another friend that I knew just died who grew up with the three and I felt like everything is hitting Harder at rock BOTTOM.. but my Father told me that HE wanted to show and share.. I told that I had NO DREAMS.. I HAD NO VISIONS.. what is the use of when everyone is dying around me anyways.. I know that I will die with these POOR people.. but I went with my Father.. and when I saw YOU.. I just couldn't believe that YOU are the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. that is the MAH MAH.. but when I saw you with YOUR FATHER ALONE.. that is when I knew that NOT just the Princess.. NOT JUST the ROYAL BLOOD LINE but much more than just a PRINCESS.. CONG JU NIM.. that YOU are the NEXT TO WIN.. a TRUE SUCCUSSION and I had to get to YOU and asked YOU.. MAH MAH.. because YOU are the Only one who can help the DREAMS come true.. and I felt something that day.. MY HEART.. I felt my Heart screaming inside.. I felt my Heart crying inside because I knew that DAY I started to Love YOU.. Now holding this Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I know that I will love YOU more.. because even though YOU are so FAR.. having this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of you is the starting point where I am going to make my Moves too.. that I want to get to YOU.. that I want to be close to YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. only way MAH MAH can hear me Out boldly is when YOU are Near and NOT so far away from Me.. Please let me Heart keeps on loving YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please let my Heart tell YOU and to tell YOUR MOON SIZE HEART that I love YOU.. that I want to say it to MAH MAH.. because I am NOT AFRAID to Love you any more because I do Love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please hear me Out and let me say it to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. and after I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would look forward and started to walk back to the TENT size HUT home in the Garden.. I am riding on the Horse.. and my Father.. He is pulling the strings of this Horse as He is leading back to the Garden.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am wondering.. what is Happening to my Heart.. MAH MAH.. I wish that YOU can hear my Heart beating.. I never felt this way Before and I would turn my Head back to LOOK.. and I am seeing YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM sitting on the top of the Horse.. the KING.. PEH HA.. YOUR father standing next to the Horse which YOU are sitting.. and YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. the King turns to LOOK at you his Daughter.. and I hear.. MY PRINCESS.. MY PRINCESS.. NEH CONG JU and I touch my Chest.. it is so Hard to breathe because.. I feel like I am starting to Love YOU.. I have never.. if YOU can Only have my Heart.. if I can open the chamber of my Heart and give this Heart and Put inside the Chamber of your Heart.. will you know that it is the starting of MY HEART loving you.. and I am looking back.. I see everything is getting smaller and smaller as YOU.. CONG JU NIM and PEH HA your Father vanishes into.. and the Horse stops.. and I turn my Head and My father Looks at me.. and all I see is his Smile looking at me.. My father grabs hold unto the strings of the Horse and starts to walk forward.. and Yes.. he is talking but My Mind.. why is my Mind and my Heart out of place.. I am thinking of YOU.. How is it that I can fall when It is the first time I saw YOU MAH MAH.. and YOU are not just an ordinary person.. and YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. is not easy to Love at all.. and I asked my Father a Question.. what Happens when YOU love the PRINCESS.. and the Horse stops and my father turns to look at me.. and All he does is telling about the Punishment.. of the death penalty and that the Law goes against for falling in love with the Royal Bloodline.. that It is called Treason for the Nation.. and I am hearing nothing but the worse case that can happen to me for falling.. and My Father looks at me.. knowing this is serious Bad.. and I already told him that the Question is the Answer that I needed because I have already started.. of course.. He would walk ahead pulling the strings of the Horse and I am sitting on the Top of the Horse.. but I feel like I can sit on the clouds above.. that I know I am at the rock Bottom and looking UP at the clouds seems not too bad.. but what is wrong with my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. what is wrong with me.. HOW can this Be.. am I determined person.. am I truly ambitious.. is it because YOU are the Next SUCCESSOR.. because I do remember.. I had NO idea that YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM be the Next to succeed in your Father's Place.. PEH HA.. I saw YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. on his bare feet.. walking on the rocky Road.. just like my Father.. He has slippers on though but when I saw the Feet of the King of the Nation.. I was shocked and surprised that HE can.. your Father.. who is the SUCCESSION and the KING of the Nation.. HOW can he walk bare feet while pulling on the strings of the Horse.. it just don't make any sense.. when I saw that.. I was shocked.. I never felt this way in my life.. my Heart beating so fast.. I remember when my Father lowered himself as being the Head servant to your Father.. to the King.. PEH HA.. I was thinking at least be the General for the Nation.. but my Father told me that my Grandfather was the Chief general.. who also became the Head of Commanders but I wanted my Father to be that instead.. but it leaves me the room.. I want to be close to the Princess.. I want to serve the country with Pride and Justice.. MAH MAH.. I wanted something more than what my Father can bring.. I was sitting on that Horse.. looking at YOU sitting on that Horse.. I knew I had to do something so that I can get close.. if my Grandfather was able to be the Head of the commanders serving Your FATHER.. the KING.. PEH HA.. I want to be next in line to serve YOU as to Protect and defender of this Country.. for the NATION you will rule some day.. I had to get in the Line.. My Heart.. it was beating so Fast.. I would ask myself.. SHALL I go and ask.. Shall I and that is when I had to get Out of the Horse I was sitting on and Lowered.. looking at the ground.. and I would be two Knees.. Head looking to the Ground.. arm stretched OUT to show YOU the HONOR and RESPECT that YOU will be the Head.. running this COUNTRY.. this NATION as the NEXT IN LINE to succeed after your Father's Passing.. the King.. PEH HA.. I heard your Father.. PEH HA smiling and Laughing.. my Father also laugh along with HIM.. I though I be in trouble or punished for this.. But hearing your Father.. the KING.. PEH HA.. there was a hope in my life.. that I knew that some day.. I be by your side.. and that I be part of your RULING.. conquering over this NATION.. as my Father still be walking.. holding unto the Strings of the Horse.. I am thinking of YOU.. in silent I remain thinking of YOU.. wondering.. will I ever see you again.. WILL I ever have another chance to see you this CLOSE I just saw YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am feeling like I can do anything as Long as YOU are close by because I feel like I am loving YOU.. as I am looking UP looking at the clouds.. How can this Be if there is so much danger and risks and that My Life is on the Line.. that I can lose my own life of loving YOU.. that the Case is death sentence for Treason.. the Most severe punishable which means to be KILLED.. if I think of these things.. there is NO HOPE to love you.. but when I think about the Other side.. the Nation which YOU can rule.. that there is something Great and Big that can happen brings a true excitement because being close to YOU.. to be Near and even though YOU may Not open your Heart for me to Love YOU.. I know that I can still Love you in silent.. as Long as I love you.. but I want to tell you and ask how.. HOW CAN I Love you where YOU can know this Heart of Mine.. even though I am well aware of the DEATH sentence and for punished as being called the Treason.. Let me die as for the traitor even though I never meant it to happen.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WILL you please forgive me for loving YOU the way I do.. if I started.. How is it my Fault.. How is it when I am losing my own mind because I never thought this can ever happened.. when I saw YOU.. and I saw your Father.. bare feet I just knew.. and MY FATHER was walking holding onto the strings of HORSE like Your FATHER was ON your Horse you were sitting down on.. I believe there must be something IMPORTANT that HE.. PEH HA.. the KING wanted to share with YOU.. a MESSAGE or a story of something for the Future because my Father.. He took me Out of the Garden.. too many people who lives in the Garden.. they bump into each other.. and it is really Hard to share something Important when there are just too many Noisy people around YOU.. I know He.. PEH HA.. the KING.. had a message ONLY he wanted to share to YOU about the Nation.. about the running and ruling the Nation.. for the country because I believe in YOU.. it is my first time I saw YOU.. but I felt in my Heart.. the first time I saw YOU and your Father together alone.. I knew YOU were.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is going to rule and run this Nation as the Head.. the SUCCESSION for this Country.. and I want to join.. I want to be that part.. I want to see YOU at the Best seat.. with the BIG CROWN ON top of your Head.. I want to see YOU flying and soaring.. Just the way I am able to see.. sitting down on the top of the Horse.. I lift UP my Head.. LOOKING at the clouds.. I see how
MAH MAH.. And the distance.. it is beautiful when YOU love.. I am touching my chest with my right Hand.. my Heart keeps on beating fast.. I tell my Heart.. please don't beat on me too fast.. but when I think of YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I can feel this smile inside of me.. YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM makes me smile.. makes me the Happiest even though there is NO DREAMS where I come from.. but when I heard from the words of the KING.. PEH HA.. your Father.. I saw your own Father.. the RULER of the NATION and the KING.. the true SUCCESSOR Looks at the little Boy Me and He smiles.. the KING SMILES and he turns his head looks at YOU and do you know what your Father said.. the KING.. PEH HA to my Father the Head of the servant.. the Lowest in the Palace for the royal duties.. that Your SON.. he is going to Help my Daughter.. CONG JU NIM.. My Princess.. to make this NATION.. this country to be strong Again.. it starts from the smallest but the Heart and the Mind has to be right and has to be Strong.. and He looks at me and smiles.. as I turn to LOOK back.. the two lines of tears runs down.. and I am looking.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I will see you again.. I will see you soon.. even though YOU may not know it yet.. I want to help YOU to rebuild the NATION.. the COUNTRY to be strong again.. and I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I LOVE YOU.. I Love YOU.. and I turn my head to look forward.. my Father turns his head to look back.. and He smiles.. I would be thinking that He be against it.. but My father told me this.. I have a spirit like my grandfather.. that Means to Dream Big means to do it big.. NOT TO be afraid to take risks or chances even if it costs my Own Life.. and my father looks at me.. and he turns to look forward and kept on walking.. I know that it is so Hard to Love YOU my PRINCESS.. It is NOT going to be easy for me to keep on telling YOU MAH MAH that I love YOU.. but I told you.. I may be small.. the smallest.. but My Heart.. my MIND and my spirit must be strong.. I don't care what anyone says because I have never stopped dreaming of loving YOU.. I started rock Bottom.. from NOTHING.. from scratch but I never gave UP HOPE in loving YOU.. I started just too small but kept on going and trying.. but that ONE DREAM kept me alive.. to LOVE MY PRINCESS.. to love my CONG JU NIM.. to Love MAH MAH.. who dare to goes against my PRINCESS.. I will pull out a stick.. and can even strive with a Single BLOW.. but loving YOU is the most greatest which it reshaped.. my Dreams are so Big.. because I LOOK at My Princess.. MAH MAH.. Just remember that I love YOU.. and How much do I love YOU.. I think you know that I love you just too much.. even I am going back to the back story to share More to my MAH MAH.. you know my Heart.. so many missing pieces I want to tell YOU MAH MAH.. How the stories of loving YOU means so much to me.. the greatest gift of all is Love.. and that is loving YOU to the fullest and that I just can't stop myself of loving YOU.. as I share how much I love YOU.. YOU will find more mysteries because I just can't forget how much I do really love YOU.. all I want is for YOU to believe in this Love that my Love for MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is real.. for My PRINCESS.. is real and Not just.. but YOU will find out later down the road How much I love my PRINCESS.. MY CONG JU NIM.. I love you.. and I just can't stop loving YOU.. and I am looking as my Father is walking.. pulling on the strings of the Horse and He walks into the Garden.. and I came in with Magic of Love.. I walked Out with NO HOPE and NO Future.. with NO Dreams as my father would say.. He wanted to show me and share something to me.. I had nothing leaving this Garden.. just a POOR BOY with nothing in life.. but coming back into this Garden.. I see YOU.. I see MY PRINCESS.. NEH CONG JU NIM is all I see.. and I am smiling.. MAH MAH.. I love you.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. My PRINCESS.. I LOVE YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping
MAH MAH.. Showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU.. I am looking at the Moon.. I just wish that YOU know my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that I can't go with you right Now.. Because I want YOU to be at the Seat.. to be at Your Throne.. to Rule over and to take the seat that belongs to YOU.. and I am standing by the tree.. on the Hill side top.. looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining across the sky.. MAH MAH.. I remember when I first stood here.. running UP the Hill when I was a Young Boy.. My Father was standing next to the tree.. and I would yell out loud.. and my Father smiling looking at me Running UP to him.. and I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would show my Father.. and He looks at YOU.. that is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. after My Father passed away.. I remember walking UP the Hill side.. and I would stand next to this Tree.. and I am holding unto the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would turn too look.. I can see the Palace.. It seems so Far away.. and I would be looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining above me.. and that Moon.. it has never seems to change.. it would appear the same way as being a Young Boy.. But I still had hopes and dreams.. that One day I am going to see YOU.. that One day I am going to hold your hands and to stand by this Tree.. the same tree I would run up and down.. many broken hearts.. broken tears I would cry.. I would be shouting Loud.. Looking across.. Looking at the Palace.. WHY did you have to come into my Heart MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why do you have to live In my Heart.. it hurts because I love YOU.. I know that I should be more happier than ever to Love YOU.. but instead.. many nights I would shed these tears.. feeling so Lost.. feeling so lonely and just to be loved.. Will the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. will you ever see my through.. would you ever see my Heart.. can YOU feel the Heart.. the One Heart that I have kept inside which weeps most of the time.. missing YOU.. wanting to be close.. to get close.. to Love YOU.. to held YOU in my arms and to tell YOU.. whisper in your Ears How much I love YOU.. and I would watch the Night.. wondering can My voice ever be heard.. I don't care.. as long as YOU can hear me.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you want to hear my words.. my voice of telling YOU.. I can tell YOU thousand times.. but will you want to hear it over and over and over again if I tell YOU that for Me.. it is the greatest pleasure to tell YOU from My Heart because I know deep within me I love YOU.. I would even stand by this tree.. when I saw the dark clouds gathered.. I can hear the roaring of the Thunder knowing that it is going to send rain.. showers and heavy rain down on me.. I would watch and wait.. as I feel the wind changing towards me and I start to see the rain drops.. falling from the Sky.. I would be standing by this tree.. Looking across.. looking at the Palace wondering.. If I go to YOU.. will you open your arms out to me.. will you tell me MAH MAH.. I am able to come to YOU.. will you allow me to step into that Palace.. and I would be wondering.. How do I get to that place from where I am standing.. I want to Go.. I want to run to YOU.. I want to be where YOU at.. If I go.. will you accept Me.. will I be invited to stand close to YOU.. and I would start to watch the rain fall.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I remember it was after I saw YOU coming to the Garden.. the first time YOU came.. I heard a Man who is also working for the Garden.. He told me that the PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM has come.. I remember I dropped.. I was at the Hill side on top.. by this Same Tree.. I was looking at the bed of flowers where my Mother.. and I was talking to the Bed of flowers where my Mother was buried.. and just pouring out my Heart and I heard.. the Man tells Me to come and see.. the Princess.. CONG JU NIM is here.. pay respect and Honor.. I would turn back.. running down the Hill to the Garden.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. riding on the Horse.. Many of the Servants and soldiers came to the Garden.. I stop trying to catch a Deep Breathe.. I was in Awe with YOU.. MAH MAH.. of course I remember meeting you few times with My Father.. but it was when I was much younger in those days.. but after my Father passed.. I was left alone.. leaving in a small House that He has built for me to live.. telling me that
MAH MAH.. Going to be gone for a Long time.. but this House.. the small house is now mine.. He has built all for me.. and that was the last time.. In a back of a carriage comes the Body of my Father.. when I saw it brought to me.. I broke down in many tears.. My Heart shattered and broken of a great Loss in my life.. but the Only way this had to go through.. I would open and look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. Only Love I can give Now.. I can't give love to my parents anymore.. but for YOU.. I have saved my whole Heart to just to love YOU.. just to say How much I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. YOU do not know how Much I love YOU now.. as I would hear and I ran Down.. stopping to catch me Breathe.. I wanted to fall back.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. a White Beautiful Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I can feel my Heart stop.. my Beating of the Heart did not want to beat any more.. I saw YOU.. the Horse just stopped and One of the Guards.. the Special Body Guard comes UP to me.. and I remember I had to kneel before YOU.. to respect and Honor the Princess.. MAH MAH.. the words just could not come Out.. I was blown into pieces.. because YOU grew UP.. I wanted to cry because YOU were so much more Beautiful.. in person.. looking at YOU after few years goes by.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU was no more use because it was when YOU were young.. I can feel my chest pains.. aching for YOU more.. Longing for YOU more.. MAH MAH.. I would be kneeling.. as three Special Body Guards would help YOU off the Horse and YOU walked closer to me.. and YOU stopped.. My Heart.. I did not want to tell YOU about what is happening to my Heart.. I am looking at the ground.. kneeling before YOU.. my Heart.. my hand wanted to touch my Chest to show YOU.. there is something happening to my Heart.. to let YOU know.. YOU have come way too close to me.. because I can now hear my Heart weeping inside.. for a long time.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would be wishing.. I would be dreaming.. I would be running UP the Hill Side Top.. I know that I could not go to the Palace and just show UP.. I could not just ask the Guards guarding the gates to open the door for me.. and I been waiting for a day like this to happen.. I been looking at the stars.. wishing upon the stars.. I would turn to look at the MOON.. wondering does that Moon knows me.. can that MOON hear my voice.. when I ask.. when I plead and beg to be heard.. will that MOON able to hear me.. and I would be asking many nights.. that I want to see YOU.. I wanted to know if I can get close to the Princess.. MAH MAH.. close to CONG JU MAH MAH.. when I came down.. I was speaking to my Mother.. who is lying in the Bed of flowers.. that I been sharing to Her.. that I wanted to see the Princess.. but Father would warn me never to go see MAH MAH.. help me is what I be asking my mother.. that is when I heard the Man who works in the Garden to come down to the Garden.. the Princess.. CONG JU NIM has come.. I am not sure how this be.. but many nights.. the man who works in the garden sees me run UP to the Hill side top.. I think he hears my voice.. but when I saw YOU coming to the Garden for the first time.. I just could not believe it.. I be asking myself.. was it the stars who made my Dreams come true.. I wished many nights on those stars.. was it the Moon who can hear my cries.. my voice when I speak to that MOON about YOU.. showing the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My finger points to the face on the Art Sketch Paper.. saying.. this is MAH MAH.. it is the PRINCESS.. it is the CONG JU NIM.. I want to ask YOU.. if YOU can bring the Princess to Me.. can YOU please tell the Princess that I want to see YOU.. I want to say something.. I have something in my Heart to tell.. but if the Princess.. MAH MAH is so far away.. How can the Princess Knows.. and I be showing tears.. hands are on prayer mode.. and I am on both knees.. and I am looking at the MOON.. asking and asking.. I need to see the Princess.. I needs to see MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I am opening my Heart.. looking up speaking to that Moon so that I can tell you something.. When YOU came closer.. and YOU stood there.. and YOU stopped while I was kneeling.. looking at the Floor.. I heard your voice.. telling my to speak.. that a Message was send to YOU and that YOU have decided to come.. I couldn't believe it.. I would think in my mind.. YOU are a Royal Blood.. at the TOP.. YOU are to rule next in line.. from the Blood line of the King.. and I am just no one.. I don't even have a name and YOU would not even recognize my name.. asking whose name is that.. and YOU have come.. and I just could not believe that YOU came.. I would be shaken by this wondering.. what am I suppose to say to you.. there is all these Guards.. soldiers.. and even generals.. even special team of Body Guards that came with YOU.. and I am only working in this garden with an older Man.. I am not even important figure.. and I would say.. MAH MAH.. I have seen you few times when I was much younger.. My Father is the One who would take me as He was the one to care.. He was the Head of the servants of the Palace and was to be there for YOU.. so I would beg my father that I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. just Once I begged HIM.. I remember He put me on a Horse back and He would travel many days with me sitting on the Horse.. I came to the Palace because of my Father who was to care for YOU as a Servant.. I saw YOU from the Distance.. I was on the Other side of the Back gates where Your Chamber room was located.. I was sitting on the back of the Horse.. my Father goes in and I saw MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM coming out.. I saw you from the Distance and a man who was a sketch Artist came out from the gates and I do remember I stopped him.. I asked HIM if He can draw a Picture of YOU.. and He looks at me with a Smile.. and I pointed to YOU.. Can YOU please do me a favor.. I want an Art Sketch.. can you please draw the Picture of Princess.. the man goes back.. and I would watch Him.. and I saw you standing alone as he drew on the art sketch.. I would watch the man walk out of the back of the gates and Gives me the Art sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I would fall in love.. the more I looked at the art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU and I would lift up my head to look at you from the distance.. I was on the other side of the Back Gates.. I wanted to go close to YOU.. I wanted to see YOU closer because I could of see you from far.. I wanted to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. I been loving YOU.. you may not know this but I been longing for YOU.. wanting to love YOU.. but to see YOU in person to tell YOU how much I been loving YOU because YOU don't know unless I am able to tell YOU my Heart.. for a long time.. I would be on the Hill side top.. standing by the Tree.. LOOKING across.. LOOKING at the palace.. and I know that my words can't never reach YOU.. my voice can't be heard because of the distance.. How can YOU hear me when I am standing OUT so far.. Before I can lose this Chance.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. I have always been loving YOU.. even though you may never know this.. I been here.. waiting for this very day to tell YOU.. to say to YOU that I love YOU.. I am not asking you to accept.. but just want you to know that at least my voice to be heard by YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU for the longest.. I love YOU and Kept on missing YOU for a long time.. wondering will you ever know this Heart of Mine because I know this is the Only time.. only chance I get to tell YOU.. even if YOU want to kill me today and I die.. I will die with a Smile because at least I get to say what my Heart longing to say to YOU for a long time.. that Now.. My Voice has been heard to YOU.. I wanted to say.. I love YOU PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I love YOU.. I can at least show YOU.. LOOK.. this Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I have been holding this for a Long Time.. Just wishing and dreaming and loving YOU.. I am not asking YOU to love me.. my intentions were never about YOU.. but I wanted at least to let YOU Know.. I have been here.. I have been loving YOU and missing YOU.. I am not asking you for Your Hand.. but.. at least to know that I love YOU and Never stopped loving YOU.. I am a low born from a Slave parents.. how can I even wish or Dream of.. when YOU belong to a Prince.. even though I know that it may never work Out but at least I can tell YOU.. I can say what is in my heart.. I love YOU right.. will you accept my Heart.. will you accept my Love.. will you give me the permission to speak.. to tell YOU.. to tell YOUR HEART.. How much I love YOU.. I know that I don't belong with YOU.. I know that from my Heart.. but NO matter how Low and How far I am at.. I know that I can Love.. I can always love YOU even you may Not receive It.. Like this Sun Flower.. you have left it on this Ground.. WHEN I saw this Sun Flower.. it broke me into Two.. I cried looking at this Sun Flower laying by himself.. it was with his Family of Sun Flower but I had to pull this Away to give it to YOU.. NOW.. this Sun Flower is laying on this Ground in this Garden Alone.. when I saw this Sun flower laying in this Garden.. it reminded of Me.. SO much Like me who also needs Love.. who also desire to be loved and to also who can Love.. But YOU have to be willing to accept my Heart.. my Love.. I am only asking for a Chance.. a Chance for me to Love YOU.. but Look.. I feel like this Sun Flower and Yes.. I do deserve because I am a Low Born person.. but I do have feelings and emotions too.. I do know How to say and write to YOU
I can see from your content that you really good balancing your daily life.. Between work, having fun with family, friends, food and health. Hope i can do the same Cant wait for New York content
희한하게도 소희만 보면 입꼬리가 절로 올라감.
대체 언제까지 예쁘구 귀엽구 다하려구....
소희랑 언니랑 나누는 소소한 대화 너무 좋다 💕
소희야 이번 화보 진짜 잘 나왔쟈나~~ 비하인드 사진들까지 다 최고!!!!!
가족들이랑 시간 보내는거 너무 보기 좋아요❤ 솧브이로그 자주 올려주세요~
와우 !!! 뉴욕 한달여행기~~~ 넘넘 기대기대!!! 하지만 어디든 다닐때 사람조심. 무조건 조심하기~~~ 오늘도 혼자 이쁘고 귀엽고 상큼하고 다해~~~~~ 매력솧~~
소희의 숨겨진 맛집도 보고 고향도 보여줘서 고마워🤍
소희 일상을 공유할 수 있어서 좋다!❤
배우 안소희의 다음 작품활동 기대할께요
미치도록 기다렸어요 안소희 일상븨로그 💛💛🤍
말랑고양이 안소희😻 유튭해준거 넘 고맙고,,,,🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻
소희 잘 지내서 좋아 💛
드디어 소희 뉴욕 브이로그 볼 수 있겠다 넘 기대됨ㅋㅋ
소희님 유튜브 잘보고있어용🥀09:31 빨간색 귀걸이 정보 알고싶어용❤
역시 화보 장인 안소희❤
가족분들과 친구분들과 좋은 추억 많이 만드셨네요~
뉴욕 한달여행 가신다니 너무 재밌겠네요
몸 건강히 조심하시고 행복한 여행 되시길 브이로그 기대할게요~~
느엥 소희언니랑 언니분 대화 넘 따수워
사인하는 안소희 볼따구 귀여워
영상보면서 되게 웃다가 명언이 나오니 띵하네유 ㅎㅎ 오늘 또한 감사합니다!
잔잔하니~~ 항상 잘 ~~ 편하게 보고 있어요❤
친척동생도 너무 귀여워>
병아리색이랑 소희님 넘흐 잘어울림 ㅋㅋㅋ 잠실 젠틀몬스터 언제가셨어요 ㅠㅠ 소희님 실물로 뵜으면..
오늘 브이로그 유난히 좋다. 소희야 마니마니 행복하길 바라
울 소희 소중한 사람들과 일상과 열일 하는 모습 둘 다 넘 사랑이야 ❤ 특히 소희 아웃핏 적어놓으신거 너무 칭찬 드립니다 😂 채고!!!
마라 떡볶이 떡 분모자 아닐까 싶네용 ㅎㅎ💕
오늘도 힐링하고 갑니다~
일상도 사랑스럽다 소히 💛💛
Sohee photoshoot really gorgeous. All the pic is so beautiful and cool.
I love it.
솧튜브 고마워용
뉴욕가는구나!!! 기대!!
연말 선물이나 요즘쓰는 아이템 추천 해주세욥
대한민국 역대 넘버원 미인❤
진짜 원더걸스 맞아여? 우와
소희 브이로그라니 ,, 행복한 주말 마무리네용😊❤
내 밥친구 솧튜븐데 소희 밈pd에 뉴욕뉴욕까지 다양하게 보는구나 ㅋㅋㅋ
쏘희정말 넘흐옙쁘네❤
응원합니다~!!☺
마스크 한장에 얼굴이 다가려지는 역시.. 소희
감기조심 ^^
소희님🥲제가 온호프향을 너무좋아해서
바디미스트 핸드크림 바디워시 다 쟁여놓고 쓸정도로 좋아하는데
제가 가장 좋아하는 향의 핸드크림
쏘컴포트를 사고싶은데 아무리찾아도
없네요🤧🥹😢혹시 단종된건가요?
난 어디서든 소희를 볼 수 있으면 좋다! 뉴욕에 선미도 데려가ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
미씽3 언제찍나여???너무재밌는데
ソヒ💛💛💛🐶
귀엽고
이쁘고
사랑스러운거 다 해😊😉😍
안녕하세요
정말뜬금없이2006 군번
아이러니 말도안돼 부터
지금까지 팬입니다
연기도 어마무시 하시니까
대 배우님 되시길 기원합니다
I love watching your videos ... Thank You Sohee. Those cinnamon donuts look very good :)
소희님이 화보 촬영하시면서 입은 모든 착장들이 잘 어울리고 가을 무드가 찐하게 느껴지는게 정말 예쁘네요~🍂🍁
한 달 살기로 뉴욕 여행 떠나신다니까 너무 부럽습니다🗽
뉴욕 여행 브이로그 기대할께요♡
솧맛집투어 고고💛
It's so relaxing, enjoy watching unnie's vlogs.
Yes,try eveyrthing, it's a good achievement no matter wat it is. HWAITINGG!!
우리 엄마 고향이 제천인데.. 더 친근감든다..
아니 30대가 이리 귀여워도 되냐고
작품은 언제 해?..ㅠ
스타벅스 재미있게 인테리어했네요ㅎ
사랑해요
❤ S❤HEE ❤
*both talking about honeymoon spots*
Friend : But what's the point of talking all this,we don't even have bf 😢
Sohee : Dream Big 😂
커여워❤
❤❤❤
식당 카페 앉기만하면 여친짤이 되네요
사랑혀요❤
🥰🥰🥰
안소희씨랑 친해지고 싶다.
그래도 아직은 소희지
온호프 왜 단종된건가요????ㅠ
온오프 단종된거였군요ㅠㅠ 저도 핸드크림 너무 좋아서 다시 사려니 없던데..
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
뉴욕소히라니.. 메이드인원더걸스 기대해도 되냐구
👍👍👍👍👍
Love you sohee ❤
헉 제천분이시네~
혹시 매회 테니스 넣어줄수있을까요 ㅎㅎ
😍
나폴리가 좀 위험해져서 가기 힘들다고 하더라구요 ~ 동양인은 더 위험하다고😢 7월에 이탈리아갔는데 나폴리는 버스안에서 보기만 했어융
🫰🏻🫰🏻🫰🏻
남자친구도 얼른 생기길~~
목을 꼬오아악! 막히게ㅋㅋ😊😊
혐생 산다고 이제 본다 솧튜브 ㅠㅠ
Oink Oink.. I see the MOON appear before Me.. having your Picture to look at.. I would be asking.. WHEN can I see YOU.. what would you do if I do see YOU.. and in the Other hand is the Bottle of rice wine.. SOJU in my hand.. and the Lid is popped UP open.. instead of sitting in the room by the desk.. I have drive my car out where I am sitting on the Dock of the Lake.. in the room it gets very stuff some times.. and being the room makes me sick many time.. that is why I have changed a different Place.. in a new location.. sitting on the Dock.. the wind blows few times on my face and I feel like I can breathe better when I am out here at the dock of the Lake.. I saw the Sun setting In as I would stay through the day.. just trying to get away from the clutter that has been eating UP my Mind.. but when I look at the Moon.. why do I feel like there is something Missing.. that Missing is YOU.. your Presence.. only if YOU were here with me sitting on this Dock.. Looking at the SUN going down.. just enjoy the breeze of the wind blowing in your face.. and watching the MOON come UP.. and when YOU are not here.. I start to ask.. WHERE are YOU.. can YOU Hear me when I call Out your Name.. Do you hear me here on the Other Side.. can YOU Please wave your Hand if YOU hear me.. so that I know that YOU have listened to my Voice calling for Your Name.. and If I see that YOU Heard me and my voice calling for YOU.. I would be waving back at you with the tears in my eyes saying.. YOU finally heard me calling Out your Name.. calling for YOU.. crying Out your Name to YOU.. Please hear me Out.. and I would wave.. when I notice here as the Night comes UP and as I watch the sun goes Down.. my hand holding unto your Picture and I am Looking at YOU.. just wishing if YOU know my Heart.. if you know that I love YOU.. do YOU believe my words when I say or tell you.. or write to tell YOU that I love YOU.. do you think that it is nothing but fun joking matters because NOW.. when I tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. it has become More serious then ever to tell you these words to YOU.. and as I am sitting here in the Dock of the Lake alone.. watching the waters in peace.. my hand.. the left is holding unto your Picture.. and I would take a LOOK at this Picture of YOU and say to YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I know that YOU Heard of these words of Mine many times as time keeps on going On.. that I would tell YOU.. My Heart misses YOU.. I miss YOU and It kills me that I can't be there with YOU.. I wonder why can't I be the One to be there.. close to YOU.. near you and I would open my arms to hold YOU CLOSE.. near and to be still inside my arms.. I would ask YOU.. would you please let me hold you close.. please come closer into my arms.. my arms missing YOU and feels so empty without YOU being in these arms.. let me please HOLD YOU close and to be still next to YOU.. Please.. come closer.. my arms.. these arms telling me I want to hold YOU so that I can feel the warm and that closeness I wanted to be for so LONG with YOU.. my eyes fills UP with tears because I know that YOU are not here.. even though I truly.. my Heart truly wants you close.. I know in truth and in reality YOU just can't.. and that is why I cry.. I ache in pains because I know that YOU can't be with Me.. and I am asking YOU why.. why can't you ever be with Me.. looking at your Picture and my tears.. it grows stronger as my tears flows out down like the Pouring Rain.. and I turn to look at the waters of the Lake.. that is How heavy my tears wants to shed looking at the FULLNESS of the waters of this Lake.. sitting on this dock.. I am wondering.. am I waiting for something.. am I waiting for YOU.. who am I waiting for when I know that YOU are far away from Me.. and the Other hand holding the Bottle of the Rice wine.. SOJU.. I would open my mouth to drink.. pouring into like the tears I want to shed of the rain waters.. and I stop drinking.. I just can't believe YOU are gone.. that YOU are so Far.. but I know that I want you near me.. close in my arms.. knowing that I am poor.. knowing that I know that I have not much to give YOU.. it makes me want to cry more because I want to give YOU so much More.. but a true Artist with a Passion do Not make a lot of Money because HE chooses Art and being Poor instead of wealth and having A lot of Money.. I have chosen to be More POOR but to know my Own Art.. that is the Only way I can tell YOU truly How my Heart really feels which right NOW.. I am Missing YOU so bad and I love YOU.. I am looking at the Bottle of the rice wine.. and I see that I drank a lot of it.. and It has become empty Bottle.. placing the Empty Bottle on the ground.. I wonder if YOU can hear me.. as I am looking at your Picture.. and I would turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would get UP on two Legs.. standing UP and trying to be still at the same time.. when YOU drink the whole Bottle of the rice wine.. SOJU.. and trying to focus.. I can see fog like.. trying to get the clear vision straight.. I just feel like I am dying so Bad here.. I want to tell YOU.. but How can I tell YOU if you are miles and miles apart from Me.. I know you are so Far away.. How am I to tell you anything if YOU are so Far away and leaving me to die alone.. so I turn to the MOON.. can this MOON help me.. I am asking this MOON.. will you Please Help Me.. Help me because I am dying inside.. My Heart is dying inside.. because I love YOU.. and I miss YOU TOO.. what happens when It becomes this GREAT PAIN.. not just a Pain or ache here or there but the ACHING has grown so Big.. it feels Like I have tumors everywhere because I am dying for YOUR LOVE.. I think I am Not going to be living a very long time because I ache in great pain.. that maybe I will faint and perish just loving YOU.. I have never loved this Long or this STRONG In my Life but loving YOU has made it my strongest to share to YOU.. but I feel a lot of Pain.. so much pain that I can't go On.. like when YOU are trying to walk after a big car crash.. it takes time to heal your Body then you should start walking right.. I got into a Big Crash of loving YOU.. I need time to heal but.. I just keep on going for It.. I keep on asking and asking.. begging YOU and Pleading for YOUR HEART.. for YOU.. but I don't hear YOU say anything back to Me.. and I am standing before the MOON.. holding the Picture in my one hand.. crying with my tears pouring Out.. telling that MOON that Love Hurts.. and I be looking at your picture.. LOOKING UP at the MOON asking.. that MOON do not even care.. it won't answer me but I would still say.. that LOVE really Hurts when YOU really Miss and Love you at the same time together.. that I want to stomp my feet on the ground hard because I would say WHY do Love Hurts me so Bad even though I just Love YOU.. why don't you get it.. why can't you understand this Heart of Mine that I really Love YOU.. I love you where I can feel it in such great pains Now.. and I just want to sit and cry my heart Out.. yelling Out Loud and shouting from the lungs because I want to tell YOU.. look at what YOU have made me do.. because loving YOU put pains all over my Body.. what if I die because of Loving YOU too much and just too strong.. asking and asking you to PLEASE just notice me Once.. Please hear my words of Plea asking YOU.. know that My Heart.. that I love YOU.. How many more Letters do I needs to write to TELL you that I love YOU.. DO I have to smash this EMPTY SOJU BOTTLE to let out my emotions to let YOU know.. My Heart feels like this Broken GLASS BOTTLE.. shattered everywhere because My Heart.. I love YOU but YOU won't answer Me.. why can't you tell me that YOU are listening.. why can't you admit that YOU truly understand my Heart that YOU know what I am going through.. that WHEN YOU LOVE this Much.. Great Pains just pours out and Hits you everywhere in your Body parts.. I fall and on two knees.. as I lift UP my Head still looking at the MOON.. I am crying Out.. Hand beating on my Chest because It hurts.. Loving YOU Hurts me too much Now.. It kills Me now because when I love YOU.. I love you with ALL MY HEART and I go ALL in for Your Heart.. so Let me Know that I can still Love you.. let me Love you.. even one day.. when YOU LOOK UP at the Sky and the NIGHT COMES before your eyes.. when YOU see the MOON.. what YOU will see is that the MOON will be crying.. YOU WILL see tears in that MOON because that MOON knows how much I loved YOU until I had to die for it and it becomes a very sad story because I could not make it.. when YOU love too much.. sometimes it is very Hard to breathe on the Other side.. it Hurts.. and It keeps on hurting because LOVING YOU do come with the Cost.. that real LOVE.. you can die because TOO MUCH YOU LOVE.. just the Over Flow of that giving of heart to Love YOU.. that I love you.. there will be a day.. the MOON will cry.. because the MOON will see that where am I at.. the MOON knows how many times I come Out in the Night and I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. showing Your Picture to the MOON and pouring Out my Heart as I am crying.. telling that MOON like it is a friend.. but I know that MOON cannot do anything but just watch me crying.. in great pains I fall on the ground.. and I cry some More because I love you.. and I would say.. I miss you so Much.. I am dying.. my Heart is dying because I love you just too MUCH.. what do I do.. the MOON cannot even help me.. and One Night.. the MOON will see the casket and it be me inside that Casket as I am buried to Death of loving YOU.. I suffer and cry and in great Pain I cry and cry out Loud calling Out your name to YOU as I am looking UP at the MOON and showing it who you are and ALL I wanted to say to YOU is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love you so Much.. I feel like I am dying for
MAH MAH.. Deep in the garden is a Cave.. and big Cave that I found with my three friends who lives in the Garden.. and I told my best friend that I saw You.. MAH MAH.. I saw CONG JU NIM when I was travelling with my father.. and Told my best friend that something has Happen to my Heart.. that I can feel that I am In Love with YOU MAH MAH.. that I started to Love CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I decided to get Out and have a walk alone.. could Not sleep in the tent size Hut Home.. room with my father.. and I went to the Big Cave.. sitting alone.. I have candles to Light to see the big Cave.. I did not expect anyone to come because I did Not tell any of my three friends.. I just can't sleep.. walking through the Woods with my Tall trees.. I would stop to LOOK UP at the Sky.. I see the MOON appear before me.. of course YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM do Not know my Heart.. because I did Not let you hear what I has to say.. but Alone I felt just loving YOU.. but the MOON looks so Beautiful Out Here when YOU stand alone.. but I am wondering.. Is that HOW BIG MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. your Heart looks.. I am looking at this MOON.. the MOON APPEARS to look so much Bigger Now.. before I did NOT Notice about HOW BIG OR SMALL the Size of that MOON was until I met YOU.. after meeting YOU and seeing you the first time.. My Father tells me that HE was promoted to be the Head servant.. which the Poor People at the Garden celebrated having a Great Feast.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. I never thought my Father would be this Happy.. my Father tells me that He is going to be serving YOU.. the One who is suppose to carry Out and with Other Lower Servants around HIM.. they are suppose to help YOU around the CHAMBERS where you stay.. I guess that is what the Servants do.. but remember MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. My Father may be the Head servant who carries out and do the work as what the slaves do in the House.. I have a Bigger dream than my Father.. but.. knowing that It is YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I don't feel any shame because I am going to show YOU MUCH More than what my father can show YOU.. as long as it is YOU MAH MAH.. I would stand by this Tree.. it is before going into the Big Cave.. and it is the last tree before I walk in the Big CAVE.. and has a distance where the Leaves are NOT on your way.. where I can stop.. and take a Look UP at the Sky.. and Looking at that MOON.. I am standing in AWE because I am thinking of the size of Your Heart.. I know and I believe to be the Next RULER.. to be the Next SUCCESSION on the Line.. YOU must have that KIND OF SIZE of a HEART to rule and Run this Nation.. or It just can't go NOWHERE.. and I am LOOKING.. That BIG MOON.. the BIG HEART that I see in CONG JU NIM.. that MOON SIZE BIG HEART that MAH MAH has.. I wonder.. I want to see your Real Heart.. is it really that BIG like the MOON I am seeing right Now.. I want to see your HEART CONG JU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and before I would walk into the Big Cave.. I am LOOKING at the sky One more time before I go into the Big Cave.. I am sitting inside the Big Cave.. I drew a MAP.. of remembering the Place.. my Father took me by the Horse and How he travelled so Far.. I had to remember the road He took me when he was holding Unto the Strings of Horse.. and with One CANDLE Stick.. I want to see you again.. But I know it is going to be a far walk.. I need this time so that I may know around.. I have lack of experience of travelling because I am dreaming of going into that PALACE.. One day I am going to take that Military Art and the training ground exam.. I want to be the palace guard.. and from there.. I want to get close to YOU MAH MAH.. but I needs to take this step right NOW.. or else I will never get there.. as I am Looking at this Paper of the road MAP I drew.. the first travel on this Horse.. MAH MAH.. will you be mad if I go to see YOU.. I know I be getting there without your Permission.. would you be angry at me if I showed UP out of nowhere.. I want to see YOU AGAIN MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. will you allow me to come visit you even though I am only asking for a very short time.. I just want to see YOU before I would forget your Face.. I have never seen such a Beautiful face.. you are so Beautiful MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and as I am looking through the traces of the Lines I drew of this paper Map.. I am voices.. and Foot steps inside the BIG Cave.. and it got my attention away from the paper Map.. as I turn to LOOK front.. I see three of the friends who lives in this Garden.. they are all poor boys who lives in tents made of Huts with two rooms.. and the Best friend of mine.. He shows me something that I will never forget.. it is the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and Places in on the ground.. there is a Village close to the Garden and a BOY is an Artist.. and He has found a WAY to draw this Picture.. of MAH MAH.. the Picture of YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. and I just can't believe it.. is it really the Picture of YOU.. is this really CONG JU NIM.. and My hands grabs on the Sides.. being very careful with.. I do not want to put any wrinkles.. pulling it close to LOOK.. I can't.. I Just can't believe it.. it is YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. How can this Boy draw picture like this.. It looks as real as YOU.. even though it is just an Art Sketch Paper.. the Work of an ART.. an artist is Born.. but YOU.. MAH MAH has given me something to Dream ON and to work with in my Life.. and the three boys sat down next to Me.. and I turn to LOOK at the three Boys.. and I looked at them.. I know that ONE DAY I am going to the palace.. I believe there is MUCH WORK to be DONE.. for CONG JU NIM.. WE.. together as Brothers can go to the Palace and HELP rebuild for CONG JU NIM to become the SUCCESSION.. to help MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM to succeed.. the THRONE belongs to MAH MAH.. and the three Boys looks at me.. and I see tears in all of our eyes.. I can Dream.. and WE.. as a TEAM can DREAM building together for this NATION.. for this COUNTRY and.. the Four of us inside this BIG CAVE starts to cry together.. I love MY CONG JU NIM.. I look at the three Boys getting UP after wiping the Tears and they leave the Big Cave and I sit alone.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Work.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I put my right Hand on my chest.. CAN YOU FEEL my Heart.. Only if YOU are here CONG JU NIM.. I would let you listen to the Heart beat the SOUND that is making at this Moment right after I received this Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I just could Not stand UP because It caught me off guard.. TOOK my breathe away leaving me with NO WORDS to express.. I wanted to say to YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. the three of the friends here at the Garden.. we were born together.. in a Poor families but connected because the Poverty in this situation.. there is ONE who is the best friend who is the closest like a brother I don't have.. we made a Pack and Now two more friends has joined to take this Journey together to go to YOU.. that NOW.. MAH MAH.. I wanted to know where I was going.. where I am suppose to head.. NO direction.. and NO dreams were given.. but the DAY I saw YOU.. when I saw YOU sitting On the Horse.. and Your FATHER.. PEH HA next to YOU standing on bare feet.. when I was down ON two Knees.. Arm stretched forward and Head looking down.. Letting YOU know that I am going to protect and defend YOU as the soldier.. as a warrior for the Nation.. Your Father.. PEH HA turns to LOOK at YOU.. and He gave YOU a Stick to YOU.. surprised with my Father.. and MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. like holding the Sword YOU Pointed at Me.. and I lifted UP my Head looking UP toward YOU.. I was too surprised.. that is when YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. the KING SAID to my Father.. I will be a great of Help for the PRINCESS.. CONG JU NIM of building this NATION stronger together.. and NOW.. I am sitting in this BIG CAVE thinking about that DAY I saw the STICK YOU pointed at ME.. telling me that I am allowed to enter the PALACE when the TIME comes.. my friends ARE all filled with Awe because dreaming together was Never this thing or never been this CLOSE.. MAH MAH.. as I am wiping my tears with my arms.. I am Nothing but just a POOR Boy.. who has Nothing more but to die with Others here in the Garden.. they don't have any dreams too.. and I see bodies every day laying in this Garden.. that is why I can NOW say I love YOU.. that YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. if I never met YOU that day.. Not just about Me.. but the Poor People in the Garden too and the Next to Us is the village of more poor people who has useless lives.. MAH MAH.. WE NEED your HELP so that the NATION can be more stronger.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. when YOU gave me the Permission with the STICK.. it is going to be even the GARDEN and the VILLAGE.. the People WHO has no Dreams can NOW dream together to MAKE this COUNTRY.. this NATION GREAT and stronger Once again.. I believe that YOU are the ONE who has the Key to Open the DOORS for the People that needs to dream to come alive so people can live again.. as I am sitting inside this BIG CAVE.. wiping my tears Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would grab Hold unto the Art Sketch Paper.. drawing picture of YOU.. blowing the candle out.. and I would walk Out of the Big Cave.. Now I believe after receiving this Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. I can go back into the Tent size HUT home and sleep.. I get to LOOK at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I stop.. and I lift UP to LOOK UP at the Sky.. the MOON is so Big appearing before me.. looking at
MAH MAH.. Shows me that I.. Believe YOUR HEART is as big as the MOON.. that BIG SIZE of that Heart for this Country.. for the Nation.. for the Poor people here at the Garden and next to US the VILLAGE people as well.. MAH MAH.. IF I did Not go with my Father that day.. I wasn't feeling right and I did Not wanted to go with HIM.. another friend that I knew just died who grew up with the three and I felt like everything is hitting Harder at rock BOTTOM.. but my Father told me that HE wanted to show and share.. I told that I had NO DREAMS.. I HAD NO VISIONS.. what is the use of when everyone is dying around me anyways.. I know that I will die with these POOR people.. but I went with my Father.. and when I saw YOU.. I just couldn't believe that YOU are the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. that is the MAH MAH.. but when I saw you with YOUR FATHER ALONE.. that is when I knew that NOT just the Princess.. NOT JUST the ROYAL BLOOD LINE but much more than just a PRINCESS.. CONG JU NIM.. that YOU are the NEXT TO WIN.. a TRUE SUCCUSSION and I had to get to YOU and asked YOU.. MAH MAH.. because YOU are the Only one who can help the DREAMS come true.. and I felt something that day.. MY HEART.. I felt my Heart screaming inside.. I felt my Heart crying inside because I knew that DAY I started to Love YOU.. Now holding this Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I know that I will love YOU more.. because even though YOU are so FAR.. having this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of you is the starting point where I am going to make my Moves too.. that I want to get to YOU.. that I want to be close to YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. only way MAH MAH can hear me Out boldly is when YOU are Near and NOT so far away from Me.. Please let me Heart keeps on loving YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please let my Heart tell YOU and to tell YOUR MOON SIZE HEART that I love YOU.. that I want to say it to MAH MAH.. because I am NOT AFRAID to Love you any more because I do Love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. Please hear me Out and let me say it to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. and after I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would look forward and started to walk back to the TENT size HUT home in the Garden.. I am riding on the Horse.. and my Father.. He is pulling the strings of this Horse as He is leading back to the Garden.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I am wondering.. what is Happening to my Heart.. MAH MAH.. I wish that YOU can hear my Heart beating.. I never felt this way Before and I would turn my Head back to LOOK.. and I am seeing YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM sitting on the top of the Horse.. the KING.. PEH HA.. YOUR father standing next to the Horse which YOU are sitting.. and YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. the King turns to LOOK at you his Daughter.. and I hear.. MY PRINCESS.. MY PRINCESS.. NEH CONG JU and I touch my Chest.. it is so Hard to breathe because.. I feel like I am starting to Love YOU.. I have never.. if YOU can Only have my Heart.. if I can open the chamber of my Heart and give this Heart and Put inside the Chamber of your Heart.. will you know that it is the starting of MY HEART loving you.. and I am looking back.. I see everything is getting smaller and smaller as YOU.. CONG JU NIM and PEH HA your Father vanishes into.. and the Horse stops.. and I turn my Head and My father Looks at me.. and all I see is his Smile looking at me.. My father grabs hold unto the strings of the Horse and starts to walk forward.. and Yes.. he is talking but My Mind.. why is my Mind and my Heart out of place.. I am thinking of YOU.. How is it that I can fall when It is the first time I saw YOU MAH MAH.. and YOU are not just an ordinary person.. and YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. is not easy to Love at all.. and I asked my Father a Question.. what Happens when YOU love the PRINCESS.. and the Horse stops and my father turns to look at me.. and All he does is telling about the Punishment.. of the death penalty and that the Law goes against for falling in love with the Royal Bloodline.. that It is called Treason for the Nation.. and I am hearing nothing but the worse case that can happen to me for falling.. and My Father looks at me.. knowing this is serious Bad.. and I already told him that the Question is the Answer that I needed because I have already started.. of course.. He would walk ahead pulling the strings of the Horse and I am sitting on the Top of the Horse.. but I feel like I can sit on the clouds above.. that I know I am at the rock Bottom and looking UP at the clouds seems not too bad.. but what is wrong with my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. what is wrong with me.. HOW can this Be.. am I determined person.. am I truly ambitious.. is it because YOU are the Next SUCCESSOR.. because I do remember.. I had NO idea that YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM be the Next to succeed in your Father's Place.. PEH HA.. I saw YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA.. on his bare feet.. walking on the rocky Road.. just like my Father.. He has slippers on though but when I saw the Feet of the King of the Nation.. I was shocked and surprised that HE can.. your Father.. who is the SUCCESSION and the KING of the Nation.. HOW can he walk bare feet while pulling on the strings of the Horse.. it just don't make any sense.. when I saw that.. I was shocked.. I never felt this way in my life.. my Heart beating so fast.. I remember when my Father lowered himself as being the Head servant to your Father.. to the King.. PEH HA.. I was thinking at least be the General for the Nation.. but my Father told me that my Grandfather was the Chief general.. who also became the Head of Commanders but I wanted my Father to be that instead.. but it leaves me the room.. I want to be close to the Princess.. I want to serve the country with Pride and Justice.. MAH MAH.. I wanted something more than what my Father can bring.. I was sitting on that Horse.. looking at YOU sitting on that Horse.. I knew I had to do something so that I can get close.. if my Grandfather was able to be the Head of the commanders serving Your FATHER.. the KING.. PEH HA.. I want to be next in line to serve YOU as to Protect and defender of this Country.. for the NATION you will rule some day.. I had to get in the Line.. My Heart.. it was beating so Fast.. I would ask myself.. SHALL I go and ask.. Shall I and that is when I had to get Out of the Horse I was sitting on and Lowered.. looking at the ground.. and I would be two Knees.. Head looking to the Ground.. arm stretched OUT to show YOU the HONOR and RESPECT that YOU will be the Head.. running this COUNTRY.. this NATION as the NEXT IN LINE to succeed after your Father's Passing.. the King.. PEH HA.. I heard your Father.. PEH HA smiling and Laughing.. my Father also laugh along with HIM.. I though I be in trouble or punished for this.. But hearing your Father.. the KING.. PEH HA.. there was a hope in my life.. that I knew that some day.. I be by your side.. and that I be part of your RULING.. conquering over this NATION.. as my Father still be walking.. holding unto the Strings of the Horse.. I am thinking of YOU.. in silent I remain thinking of YOU.. wondering.. will I ever see you again.. WILL I ever have another chance to see you this CLOSE I just saw YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am feeling like I can do anything as Long as YOU are close by because I feel like I am loving YOU.. as I am looking UP looking at the clouds.. How can this Be if there is so much danger and risks and that My Life is on the Line.. that I can lose my own life of loving YOU.. that the Case is death sentence for Treason.. the Most severe punishable which means to be KILLED.. if I think of these things.. there is NO HOPE to love you.. but when I think about the Other side.. the Nation which YOU can rule.. that there is something Great and Big that can happen brings a true excitement because being close to YOU.. to be Near and even though YOU may Not open your Heart for me to Love YOU.. I know that I can still Love you in silent.. as Long as I love you.. but I want to tell you and ask how.. HOW CAN I Love you where YOU can know this Heart of Mine.. even though I am well aware of the DEATH sentence and for punished as being called the Treason.. Let me die as for the traitor even though I never meant it to happen.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. WILL you please forgive me for loving YOU the way I do.. if I started.. How is it my Fault.. How is it when I am losing my own mind because I never thought this can ever happened.. when I saw YOU.. and I saw your Father.. bare feet I just knew.. and MY FATHER was walking holding onto the strings of HORSE like Your FATHER was ON your Horse you were sitting down on.. I believe there must be something IMPORTANT that HE.. PEH HA.. the KING wanted to share with YOU.. a MESSAGE or a story of something for the Future because my Father.. He took me Out of the Garden.. too many people who lives in the Garden.. they bump into each other.. and it is really Hard to share something Important when there are just too many Noisy people around YOU.. I know He.. PEH HA.. the KING.. had a message ONLY he wanted to share to YOU about the Nation.. about the running and ruling the Nation.. for the country because I believe in YOU.. it is my first time I saw YOU.. but I felt in my Heart.. the first time I saw YOU and your Father together alone.. I knew YOU were.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH is going to rule and run this Nation as the Head.. the SUCCESSION for this Country.. and I want to join.. I want to be that part.. I want to see YOU at the Best seat.. with the BIG CROWN ON top of your Head.. I want to see YOU flying and soaring.. Just the way I am able to see.. sitting down on the top of the Horse.. I lift UP my Head.. LOOKING at the clouds.. I see how
MAH MAH.. And the distance.. it is beautiful when YOU love.. I am touching my chest with my right Hand.. my Heart keeps on beating fast.. I tell my Heart.. please don't beat on me too fast.. but when I think of YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I can feel this smile inside of me.. YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM makes me smile.. makes me the Happiest even though there is NO DREAMS where I come from.. but when I heard from the words of the KING.. PEH HA.. your Father.. I saw your own Father.. the RULER of the NATION and the KING.. the true SUCCESSOR Looks at the little Boy Me and He smiles.. the KING SMILES and he turns his head looks at YOU and do you know what your Father said.. the KING.. PEH HA to my Father the Head of the servant.. the Lowest in the Palace for the royal duties.. that Your SON.. he is going to Help my Daughter.. CONG JU NIM.. My Princess.. to make this NATION.. this country to be strong Again.. it starts from the smallest but the Heart and the Mind has to be right and has to be Strong.. and He looks at me and smiles.. as I turn to LOOK back.. the two lines of tears runs down.. and I am looking.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I will see you again.. I will see you soon.. even though YOU may not know it yet.. I want to help YOU to rebuild the NATION.. the COUNTRY to be strong again.. and I would say.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I LOVE YOU.. I Love YOU.. and I turn my head to look forward.. my Father turns his head to look back.. and He smiles.. I would be thinking that He be against it.. but My father told me this.. I have a spirit like my grandfather.. that Means to Dream Big means to do it big.. NOT TO be afraid to take risks or chances even if it costs my Own Life.. and my father looks at me.. and he turns to look forward and kept on walking.. I know that it is so Hard to Love YOU my PRINCESS.. It is NOT going to be easy for me to keep on telling YOU MAH MAH that I love YOU.. but I told you.. I may be small.. the smallest.. but My Heart.. my MIND and my spirit must be strong.. I don't care what anyone says because I have never stopped dreaming of loving YOU.. I started rock Bottom.. from NOTHING.. from scratch but I never gave UP HOPE in loving YOU.. I started just too small but kept on going and trying.. but that ONE DREAM kept me alive.. to LOVE MY PRINCESS.. to love my CONG JU NIM.. to Love MAH MAH.. who dare to goes against my PRINCESS.. I will pull out a stick.. and can even strive with a Single BLOW.. but loving YOU is the most greatest which it reshaped.. my Dreams are so Big.. because I LOOK at My Princess.. MAH MAH.. Just remember that I love YOU.. and How much do I love YOU.. I think you know that I love you just too much.. even I am going back to the back story to share More to my MAH MAH.. you know my Heart.. so many missing pieces I want to tell YOU MAH MAH.. How the stories of loving YOU means so much to me.. the greatest gift of all is Love.. and that is loving YOU to the fullest and that I just can't stop myself of loving YOU.. as I share how much I love YOU.. YOU will find more mysteries because I just can't forget how much I do really love YOU.. all I want is for YOU to believe in this Love that my Love for MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM is real.. for My PRINCESS.. is real and Not just.. but YOU will find out later down the road How much I love my PRINCESS.. MY CONG JU NIM.. I love you.. and I just can't stop loving YOU.. and I am looking as my Father is walking.. pulling on the strings of the Horse and He walks into the Garden.. and I came in with Magic of Love.. I walked Out with NO HOPE and NO Future.. with NO Dreams as my father would say.. He wanted to show me and share something to me.. I had nothing leaving this Garden.. just a POOR BOY with nothing in life.. but coming back into this Garden.. I see YOU.. I see MY PRINCESS.. NEH CONG JU NIM is all I see.. and I am smiling.. MAH MAH.. I love you.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. My PRINCESS.. I LOVE YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next to YOU.. two guards also came.. and they would help YOU to get Out of the Horse.. and I am looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and this is where my Father is buried.. of course YOU don't know it.. but I have taken you to his Grave.. as YOU were standing next to me.. and I wanted to tell YOU something.. which I had Not before.. and I turn my Head on the side to look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. do YOU know what this Is.. and I would look at YOU.. turning your head to look at me.. and I would turn my Head to look at the bed of Flowers.. I know that YOU wanted to come to the Garden but before we can go further down.. I wanted to stop by my Father's grave.. this is where My Father is buried.. When he died.. I did not know where to put His Body.. but I wanted his Grave to be close where I am able to find and to go.. my Father may not be here.. but I know his spirit is with me.. I wanted to remember my Father.. and wanted to be close to HIM.. so I remember this would be the best place to bury his Body.. so with the grave diggers.. I would be standing here.. crying as my Father's body would be laid to rest.. I remember I would be crying for him.. days after days would go by.. I still could Not believe that My Father would be gone.. and I wanted to show YOU.. this is my Father's Grave.. when times are rough.. when times are tough.. and I feel like pouring out my tears.. I would come to my Father's grave.. I remember when I would be sad.. when I be hurt.. He would be next to me.. I would be crying as he would tell me all things be okay in the end.. Now MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that YOU may not remember my Father.. He was close to you Once.. and yes.. he was your servant.. the King.. PEH HA would put my father in charge to look after YOU.. I am not sure if YOU ever remember my Father.. of course something happened that my father went into the prison.. and he was sentence to death.. I saw HIM in the prison bars.. a carriage with bars.. and he told me.. never to Love YOU.. Never to love the Princess.. and I saw the carriage with bars leave off.. that was the last thing.. I think YOU were young back then.. because I was Young too when he died.. MAH MAH.. do you remember the Man who was your servant.. and I see YOU turn your head to look at me.. I see your head moving Up and down.. means YOU do remember my Father.. I think he told me YOU were so bright.. very bold and courageous.. Loves to shoot bows and arrows.. told me that YOU love riding Horses and loves to Hunt wild games.. has never seen any one like YOU before.. that My father believes if YOU were a Prince.. YOU be a Mighty warrior Prince is what he told me.. but YOU are a Princess instead.. I don't know why and I don't know how this happened to me.. why would I love a Mighty Warrior Princess.. my father told me before He was going to prison.. Never Love the Princess.. Because something Horrible can happen to me in the end.. and Now.. I have brought YOU to the Man.. the one who use to serve YOU as a servant.. this is my Father's Grave.. this is the bed of Flowers I was talking to YOU about for a long time.. and now you were wondering how come I am telling YOU this HUH.. MAH MAH.. I know its be long years since then.. and many years has passed by.. there was No chance where I was able to tell YOU.. everything happened so fast.. I know that I should of never met YOU.. then I am sure I would never fall in love.. but what good is all that talk about the past when I am here in the present with YOU.. I told YOU that I am Not afraid to Die.. if I die because of loving YOU is a sin.. then Please.. Kill me for my Sin.. but I did not mean to love YOU this Long.. I did not mean to love YOU.. it just happened out of nowhere.. I remember it was the day my Father came from work.. serving YOU.. and He brought a Picture.. he brought the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. he told me when he came Home late into the night.. I was Not sleeping
MAH MAH.. Showed me the Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My father was smiling when He gave me the Picture.. the sketch paper.. telling me an Artist drew this Picture of CONG JU NIM.. I would be asking How YOU.. MAH MAH was like.. I was very curious because my Father who served YOU would always be smiling.. and He was very happy to be there as Your Servant.. of course.. I took the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU into my hands and I looked.. when my eyes first saw this Picture.. I would feel something was wrong with my Heart.. it would burn and kept on burning with me.. I would place my hand on the chest.. I don't know but something is wrong with me.. what is happening to My Heart.. it burns like fire within me.. and my Father would stand there and He looks.. He told me it should not be.. that this is Wrong.. and I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch paper.. My Father looks.. and he grabs the Sketch Paper and snatches off my Hands.. and He turns and walks off.. I remember I started to cry.. crying loud and loud.. asking for the Sketch Art Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I want to see the Picture.. I want to see YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU.. I would be looking for it.. my father would tell me Not to love YOU.. I just can't.. I should Not.. because If the King knows that I do.. even he can die because of Me.. if the words get out.. and someone finds Out.. I can be executed with my Father and he tells me never to Love YOU.. I remember my father was sleeping in his room.. and I came into my father's room.. I see the Art Sketch paper laying next to HIM.. I went over and I grabbed the Art sketch paper.. walking into my room.. I would unfold and find myself looking at the Picture of YOU.. my hand goes across the paper.. and I just wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. can I ever see CONG JU MAH MAH.. would I get the chance to see YOU.. and I would sit by myself.. looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my Hands.. my arms.. putting the Picture of YOU.. the Art sketch Paper to my chest.. I want to see YOU but I want to love YOU.. I saw my Father looking at me.. he stands in the room.. He sees my arms.. the Art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU close to my Chest.. close to my Heart and I turn too look up.. I want to see CONG JU NIM.. CAN I SEE MAH MAH.. Father.. can I please see how CONG JU NIM is like.. Please Father.. and He gets very angry at me and grabs.. snatches it off.. take the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture and tears it into the pieces and tosses it out side.. and He walks off the house.. and I would look out side.. I see the Art sketch paper torn into pieces.. and I would cry.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I would go out and sit.. picking UP the pieces toward.. trying to find each torn pieces of papers.. and the light rain would not help me at all.. as it became soak and wet over the rain fall.. I would try to put the pieces together but the rain and I would sit in the rain crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting to see the Picture of YOU and It torn my heart into pieces.. As I am now with YOU MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. it was such a long ago when I first saw your Picture.. I wanted to glue it back.. some way and some how I wanted the Art sketch Paper.. I started to miss looking at you through the Picture.. asking My Father.. begging HIM to get an Artist to draw another picture.. from the Sketch paper.. I wanted to see MAH MAH.. I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. my Father kept on telling me that If I keep on doing this.. I will die sooner.. if the Word breaks Out.. I can be executed and told me to forget you.. and as I am now looking at the bed of Flowers.. I am standing next to you and I would show YOU.. this is my Father's grave.. I wanted to bring YOU to this Bed of flowers because this is where My Father is buried.. it has been a long time since I visited him.. but I wanted to tell YOU this.. my Father wanted me Not to Love YOU.. told me that YOU were so dangerous to Me.. that my life has to be on the line if I cross this Line and yes.. I have crossed the line for a long time.. but the Word never got out until now.. I have been loving YOU the day I saw Your Picture.. I have never met YOU in my life but knew that one day something has to happened.. I wanted to tell my Father.. I am at his grave with YOU next to Me.. of course he is right because I am on the verge of facing my own death.. but I want to tell my Father.. I will go down with HIM.. and I turn to you.. MAH MAH.. I loved YOU then.. I loved you when I never met YOU.. I started to love you when I met YOU the first time.. I love you much more because I still have life in me.. if I am given me a new day.. I am so thankful that this day is made so that I can love YOU MORE.. Now.. I am able to show you my Father's grave.. I was warned and been warned for a long time.. not to cross the line.. Not to love YOU.. but My Heart.. I just could not let YOU go MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I guess I wanted to tell YOU.. whatever happens to me in the future.. at least YOU get to see my Father's grave.. in the bed of flowers where he is buried.. I am Not sure if this was the main reason why you wanted to come to this Garden.. is it too meet my Father's grave.. because this is where My Father was buried.. after he died.. His Body.. his Bones are here now.. as long as I still have life in me for a day.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. PRINCESS.. I will always love YOU.. even then.. even now and forever I will love YOU.. I am looking at the Moon.. I just wish that YOU know my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that I can't go with you right Now.. Because I want YOU to be at the Seat.. to be at Your Throne.. to Rule over and to take the seat that belongs to YOU.. and I am standing by the tree.. on the Hill side top.. looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining across the sky.. MAH MAH.. I remember when I first stood here.. running UP the Hill when I was a Young Boy.. My Father was standing next to the tree.. and I would yell out loud.. and my Father smiling looking at me Running UP to him.. and I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would show my Father.. and He looks at YOU.. that is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. after My Father passed away.. I remember walking UP the Hill side.. and I would stand next to this Tree.. and I am holding unto the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would turn too look.. I can see the Palace.. It seems so Far away.. and I would be looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining above me.. and that Moon.. it has never seems to change.. it would appear the same way as being a Young Boy.. But I still had hopes and dreams.. that One day I am going to see YOU.. that One day I am going to hold your hands and to stand by this Tree.. the same tree I would run up and down.. many broken hearts.. broken tears I would cry.. I would be shouting Loud.. Looking across.. Looking at the Palace.. WHY did you have to come into my Heart MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why do you have to live In my Heart.. it hurts because I love YOU.. I know that I should be more happier than ever to Love YOU.. but instead.. many nights I would shed these tears.. feeling so Lost.. feeling so lonely and just to be loved.. Will the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. will you ever see my through.. would you ever see my Heart.. can YOU feel the Heart.. the One Heart that I have kept inside which weeps most of the time.. missing YOU.. wanting to be close.. to get close.. to Love YOU.. to held YOU in my arms and to tell YOU.. whisper in your Ears How much I love YOU.. and I would watch the Night.. wondering can My voice ever be heard.. I don't care.. as long as YOU can hear me.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you want to hear my words.. my voice of telling YOU.. I can tell YOU thousand times.. but will you want to hear it over and over and over again if I tell YOU that for Me.. it is the greatest pleasure to tell YOU from My Heart because I know deep within me I love YOU.. I would even stand by this tree.. when I saw the dark clouds gathered.. I can hear the roaring of the Thunder knowing that it is going to send rain.. showers and heavy rain down on me.. I would watch and wait.. as I feel the wind changing towards me and I start to see the rain drops.. falling from the Sky.. I would be standing by this tree.. Looking across.. looking at the Palace wondering.. If I go to YOU.. will you open your arms out to me.. will you tell me MAH MAH.. I am able to come to YOU.. will you allow me to step into that Palace.. and I would be wondering.. How do I get to that place from where I am standing.. I want to Go.. I want to run to YOU.. I want to be where YOU at.. If I go.. will you accept Me.. will I be invited to stand close to YOU.. and I would start to watch the rain fall.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I remember it was after I saw YOU coming to the Garden.. the first time YOU came.. I heard a Man who is also working for the Garden.. He told me that the PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM has come.. I remember I dropped.. I was at the Hill side on top.. by this Same Tree.. I was looking at the bed of flowers where my Mother.. and I was talking to the Bed of flowers where my Mother was buried.. and just pouring out my Heart and I heard.. the Man tells Me to come and see.. the Princess.. CONG JU NIM is here.. pay respect and Honor.. I would turn back.. running down the Hill to the Garden.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. riding on the Horse.. Many of the Servants and soldiers came to the Garden.. I stop trying to catch a Deep Breathe.. I was in Awe with YOU.. MAH MAH.. of course I remember meeting you few times with My Father.. but it was when I was much younger in those days.. but after my Father passed.. I was left alone.. leaving in a small House that He has built for me to live.. telling me that
MAH MAH.. Going to be gone for a Long time.. but this House.. the small house is now mine.. He has built all for me.. and that was the last time.. In a back of a carriage comes the Body of my Father.. when I saw it brought to me.. I broke down in many tears.. My Heart shattered and broken of a great Loss in my life.. but the Only way this had to go through.. I would open and look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. Only Love I can give Now.. I can't give love to my parents anymore.. but for YOU.. I have saved my whole Heart to just to love YOU.. just to say How much I love YOU.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. YOU do not know how Much I love YOU now.. as I would hear and I ran Down.. stopping to catch me Breathe.. I wanted to fall back.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. a White Beautiful Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I can feel my Heart stop.. my Beating of the Heart did not want to beat any more.. I saw YOU.. the Horse just stopped and One of the Guards.. the Special Body Guard comes UP to me.. and I remember I had to kneel before YOU.. to respect and Honor the Princess.. MAH MAH.. the words just could not come Out.. I was blown into pieces.. because YOU grew UP.. I wanted to cry because YOU were so much more Beautiful.. in person.. looking at YOU after few years goes by.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU was no more use because it was when YOU were young.. I can feel my chest pains.. aching for YOU more.. Longing for YOU more.. MAH MAH.. I would be kneeling.. as three Special Body Guards would help YOU off the Horse and YOU walked closer to me.. and YOU stopped.. My Heart.. I did not want to tell YOU about what is happening to my Heart.. I am looking at the ground.. kneeling before YOU.. my Heart.. my hand wanted to touch my Chest to show YOU.. there is something happening to my Heart.. to let YOU know.. YOU have come way too close to me.. because I can now hear my Heart weeping inside.. for a long time.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would be wishing.. I would be dreaming.. I would be running UP the Hill Side Top.. I know that I could not go to the Palace and just show UP.. I could not just ask the Guards guarding the gates to open the door for me.. and I been waiting for a day like this to happen.. I been looking at the stars.. wishing upon the stars.. I would turn to look at the MOON.. wondering does that Moon knows me.. can that MOON hear my voice.. when I ask.. when I plead and beg to be heard.. will that MOON able to hear me.. and I would be asking many nights.. that I want to see YOU.. I wanted to know if I can get close to the Princess.. MAH MAH.. close to CONG JU MAH MAH.. when I came down.. I was speaking to my Mother.. who is lying in the Bed of flowers.. that I been sharing to Her.. that I wanted to see the Princess.. but Father would warn me never to go see MAH MAH.. help me is what I be asking my mother.. that is when I heard the Man who works in the Garden to come down to the Garden.. the Princess.. CONG JU NIM has come.. I am not sure how this be.. but many nights.. the man who works in the garden sees me run UP to the Hill side top.. I think he hears my voice.. but when I saw YOU coming to the Garden for the first time.. I just could not believe it.. I be asking myself.. was it the stars who made my Dreams come true.. I wished many nights on those stars.. was it the Moon who can hear my cries.. my voice when I speak to that MOON about YOU.. showing the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. My finger points to the face on the Art Sketch Paper.. saying.. this is MAH MAH.. it is the PRINCESS.. it is the CONG JU NIM.. I want to ask YOU.. if YOU can bring the Princess to Me.. can YOU please tell the Princess that I want to see YOU.. I want to say something.. I have something in my Heart to tell.. but if the Princess.. MAH MAH is so far away.. How can the Princess Knows.. and I be showing tears.. hands are on prayer mode.. and I am on both knees.. and I am looking at the MOON.. asking and asking.. I need to see the Princess.. I needs to see MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. and I am opening my Heart.. looking up speaking to that Moon so that I can tell you something.. When YOU came closer.. and YOU stood there.. and YOU stopped while I was kneeling.. looking at the Floor.. I heard your voice.. telling my to speak.. that a Message was send to YOU and that YOU have decided to come.. I couldn't believe it.. I would think in my mind.. YOU are a Royal Blood.. at the TOP.. YOU are to rule next in line.. from the Blood line of the King.. and I am just no one.. I don't even have a name and YOU would not even recognize my name.. asking whose name is that.. and YOU have come.. and I just could not believe that YOU came.. I would be shaken by this wondering.. what am I suppose to say to you.. there is all these Guards.. soldiers.. and even generals.. even special team of Body Guards that came with YOU.. and I am only working in this garden with an older Man.. I am not even important figure.. and I would say.. MAH MAH.. I have seen you few times when I was much younger.. My Father is the One who would take me as He was the one to care.. He was the Head of the servants of the Palace and was to be there for YOU.. so I would beg my father that I wanted to see the Princess.. I wanted to see CONG JU NIM.. just Once I begged HIM.. I remember He put me on a Horse back and He would travel many days with me sitting on the Horse.. I came to the Palace because of my Father who was to care for YOU as a Servant.. I saw YOU from the Distance.. I was on the Other side of the Back gates where Your Chamber room was located.. I was sitting on the back of the Horse.. my Father goes in and I saw MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM coming out.. I saw you from the Distance and a man who was a sketch Artist came out from the gates and I do remember I stopped him.. I asked HIM if He can draw a Picture of YOU.. and He looks at me with a Smile.. and I pointed to YOU.. Can YOU please do me a favor.. I want an Art Sketch.. can you please draw the Picture of Princess.. the man goes back.. and I would watch Him.. and I saw you standing alone as he drew on the art sketch.. I would watch the man walk out of the back of the gates and Gives me the Art sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I would fall in love.. the more I looked at the art sketch paper.. the picture of YOU and I would lift up my head to look at you from the distance.. I was on the other side of the Back Gates.. I wanted to go close to YOU.. I wanted to see YOU closer because I could of see you from far.. I wanted to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. I been loving YOU.. you may not know this but I been longing for YOU.. wanting to love YOU.. but to see YOU in person to tell YOU how much I been loving YOU because YOU don't know unless I am able to tell YOU my Heart.. for a long time.. I would be on the Hill side top.. standing by the Tree.. LOOKING across.. LOOKING at the palace.. and I know that my words can't never reach YOU.. my voice can't be heard because of the distance.. How can YOU hear me when I am standing OUT so far.. Before I can lose this Chance.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. I have always been loving YOU.. even though you may never know this.. I been here.. waiting for this very day to tell YOU.. to say to YOU that I love YOU.. I am not asking you to accept.. but just want you to know that at least my voice to be heard by YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU for the longest.. I love YOU and Kept on missing YOU for a long time.. wondering will you ever know this Heart of Mine because I know this is the Only time.. only chance I get to tell YOU.. even if YOU want to kill me today and I die.. I will die with a Smile because at least I get to say what my Heart longing to say to YOU for a long time.. that Now.. My Voice has been heard to YOU.. I wanted to say.. I love YOU PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I love YOU.. I can at least show YOU.. LOOK.. this Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I have been holding this for a Long Time.. Just wishing and dreaming and loving YOU.. I am not asking YOU to love me.. my intentions were never about YOU.. but I wanted at least to let YOU Know.. I have been here.. I have been loving YOU and missing YOU.. I am not asking you for Your Hand.. but.. at least to know that I love YOU and Never stopped loving YOU.. I am a low born from a Slave parents.. how can I even wish or Dream of.. when YOU belong to a Prince.. even though I know that it may never work Out but at least I can tell YOU.. I can say what is in my heart.. I love YOU right.. will you accept my Heart.. will you accept my Love.. will you give me the permission to speak.. to tell YOU.. to tell YOUR HEART.. How much I love YOU.. I know that I don't belong with YOU.. I know that from my Heart.. but NO matter how Low and How far I am at.. I know that I can Love.. I can always love YOU even you may Not receive It.. Like this Sun Flower.. you have left it on this Ground.. WHEN I saw this Sun Flower.. it broke me into Two.. I cried looking at this Sun Flower laying by himself.. it was with his Family of Sun Flower but I had to pull this Away to give it to YOU.. NOW.. this Sun Flower is laying on this Ground in this Garden Alone.. when I saw this Sun flower laying in this Garden.. it reminded of Me.. SO much Like me who also needs Love.. who also desire to be loved and to also who can Love.. But YOU have to be willing to accept my Heart.. my Love.. I am only asking for a Chance.. a Chance for me to Love YOU.. but Look.. I feel like this Sun Flower and Yes.. I do deserve because I am a Low Born person.. but I do have feelings and emotions too.. I do know How to say and write to YOU
정말 연기는 언제하는거니..... 뭐를 좀 해야하지않을까
I can see from your content that you really good balancing your daily life.. Between work, having fun with family, friends, food and health. Hope i can do the same
Cant wait for New York content
☔️