I felt the same way during my time in the Marines, and I sometimes wonder if those years made me permanently homesick too. You’ve put this into words so well-it’s like you’re describing exactly how I feel. I don’t know the answer either, but you’re definitely not alone. Thanks for opening up about this. I think we all need more honest, human conversations like this.
For me, at 55, growing up without cell phones and internet and 24 hour channels, I think the volume and pace of information flow in this day and age overwhelms us in ways we don’t always recognize. In my case, I just left a job where there were ridiculous deadlines, and way more work that our small team could manage. I have spent a lot of days over the last 6 months just wanting the day to be over…to go home. Heck, some days I was pulling into the parking lot in the morning and already wanting to go home. Could part of it be our inability to control our information intake and what is being asked of us? Because I feel ready to go home when I get overwhelmed. When there’s too much input. And that happens pretty easily these days. Take care!
Hi Roscoe, I think it is a quite normal human behavior that when we are under a certain amount of pressure we begin to feel the need to get back home or to our safe place. What I experienced is, that as I’m getting older (I’m 47 now) my tolerance level is getting lower and I need my ‘safe place’ more and more to recharge and also when I’m getting out again I prefer to choose quality over quantity… I mean seeing less people, choosing to stay only in the company of that ones that I really appreciate. I think it’s part of the normal learning process and it doesn’t mean that you’re becoming more introverted, just more wiser. ❤
I just found this video. What a wonderful thing for you to model. Healthy talk about issues challenging ourselves. Asking others for their insight or advice. That alone is so important for us to all have healthy mental health. Reaching out for help when you feel stuck or perplexed. So Bravo to you. And a thank you from me. My first thoughts were when you were speaking about your trauma. It seems you minimized yourself and were a little ashamed to call it trauma because what you experienced didn't deserve that severe of a label. I understand. I am going through a really rough and challenging time in my life. And I am glad I can go back and re-examine some of my childhood traumas. Maybe if you picked another name for what you went through, you wouldn't feel so bad. I feel your trauma could be grief. Deep grief. Because you felt it every day. It never went away. You were abandoned in the opposite way by you leaving your family. They couldn't come with you. You said you were sad. I have a feeling you cried yourself to sleep many a night. You felt isolation because nothing you did brought you those cozy homey feelings you longed for. It's important for me to say this...I have no clue what you really experienced, but I am just sharing my opinion. I am not a doctor. Anyway, since you had never felt this ongoing grief you didn't know how to ask for help. You questioned yourself..am I even normal being homesick every day? You probably couldd have asked to talk to a counselor. I'm sure the military has some kind of mental health specialists who you could have talked to. Offered you ideas. Offered you ways to deal with what you were going through. But you Never Never got the real help you needed. So this childhood trauma is still an open wound that has never been healed. You may be aware of that because that's why you are examining yourself. But you may never have thought of it as an open wound. What would you do if you saw someone with an open wound and saw that it never healed for years and years?? I know exactly what you would do because you are kind hearted and compassionate and take care of others. You would suggest they go to a doctor. A specialist who could heal that deep wound. Not any ordinary doctor. But a doctor who specializes in this kind of unhealed wound. It wouldn't be a quick fix. Clean the wound. Apply an ointment with medicine. Then wrap it up with gauze and a wrapping. And then send you on your way. You would need daily cleanings of the wound. Daily ointment and daily new fresh dressings on it. So that's what I am suggesting to you. Go to a specialist. A real experienced doctor who can help you. And seeing them week by week, you can slowly heal. And close that deep wound. And develop a very dramatic scar worthy of showing people. I myself am at the scar level. I experienced something traumatic as a child. But I 😢 really never understand it's impact. Until I had another traumatic experience as an adult that brought it all forward. Through God's grace I found a doctor who immediately diagnosed me. Clinical depression. She said. You'll need some meds and some counseling, and then you will be ok. I started going to my therapist 3 times a week. Then 2 times a week. As I healed I only needed to see here 1 time a week. And my doctor was right. Then I was ok. I am NOT saying you are Clinically Depressed. I am sharing what my diagnose was. When you find the doctor you need and feel comfortable with...they will correctly diagnose you. Roscoe. We can offer you ideas and share our experiences. And how nice of you to ask us. But you need a qualified specialist doctor to help you. Your question was confusing to me. Am I perpetually homesick or introverted? I thought. You can be both. Or maybe that's not even it. Only a good doctor can tell you. I do believe you being separated from your family was traumatic for you. Because you've never healed from it. Being introverted is not a sickness or disease. It's the way a person can be identified how they live their life. Many many highly creative people gifted in the arts are introverted. Being around a crowd or people can zap your energy. Zap your brain. Make you feel uncomfortable. You need your solace time to refocus. To recharge yourself. To be comfortably you. Roscoe. It's ok to be an introvert. Being a theatre person I thought I was an extrovert. I didn't find out until my clinical depression as an adult that I'm really an introvert. That discovery really helped heal me. So Roscoe. Enjoy your safe place. But go out and find your doctor to help you heal that open wound from your childhood. If it's grief they can walk you through the stages until you receive some relief. If it's something else like PTSD which is possible, they can help you process through that and finally understand that kind of trauma. I'll be praying for you. I hope you can turn to your faith to help your healing too. God Bless you. And He will.
I think homesick implies that we miss being around family, we miss being cared for, and we miss someone else making tough decisions for us. Introversion is needing a calm quiet place, preferably alone to recharge our batteries. When you get the itch to go home after a few hours away, you are just done socializing/being in public, and are ready to be alone. Yes, you are charismatic, you are probably an ambivert. You make videos, talk with us through the chat, but you're at home, and when you turn us off, you're alone again. Recharging your batteries for the next public interaction. It's totally normal. ❤
As I have aged yes I have become more introverted. The shine of the outside world has lost some it's luster and I grown tired of the masks people use to make everyone think they are doing 'just fine' and the weird energy that they put out. I'm still working on own stuff. I have a time limit like you do for interfacing with people and then need time to recharge and ground myself again. This to me seems to be your ministry. So even though you are a face and a voice on the internet you are having an impact that expanded globally. These kinds of topics and 'couch meetings' have opened up dialogue that spills over to Discord channels and the comment sections and have been very helpful to those who think that they are the only ones going through certain things. And we have learned to take care of each other. If home is where you are comfortable doing things-by all means continue. Love ya Cap!
Hi Roscoe, the use of the term “homesick” is a powerful use of the word and terrifically explains the many and often conflicting emotions of who we were, are and yet to be determined. Who we are at 14, 24, 34, 44 and where I am now at 54, I feel are stories of chapters of the same book. How boring of a book would it be if we couldn’t connect the story from one stage to another? Your 44yr self is reflecting on your 24 self and you are the same person but with 20 more years of experience and lessons learned and self discovery made. I believe “homesickness” happens to every person brave enough to reflect on the what, why’s and how comes of the life we have lived. The desire to “return home” feels in my body like revisiting an emotional state of safety. I think of it as a mindset. When my brain and body are being asked to do or say a million things and being among anyone, anywhere, I have to “turn inward” and bring my mind to a place that chemically relaxes the tension. Your ability to recognize this need in yourself is inspiring! Thank you for sharing this part of yourself and being venerable to a community of people that care about you without ever having met you.
I feel like I have been an introvert ever since I was a kid. But when I was growing up, life kind of forced me to go out and socialize in order to survive. Facing peer pressure, friendship drama, family conflicts, etc were so exhausting and you can also say traumatizing. Now that I'm 48, I enjoy staying home more. I have acquaintances instead of very close friends. It's all peaceful now with me, myself, Kpop and Kdrama... no real drama, please! Had enough of that! 😁 I think it is a part of growing old and you are going to be just fine, Roscoe! Borahae 💜
I grew up moving around, so never really had a "home base" since it kept getting uprooted, but I was often homesick for my childhood before all the moves started. Realize to this day I am different from people because of my upbringing, both pros and cons to living as a transplant, but it definitely changes you. Having your foundation broken and reformed certainly effects how you approach life I think. I'm an introvert, but had to learn to be an extrovert with each new "home" I landed in, but it exhausts me. Also, think as time goes on we shove more and more of our true selves away in order to get through life and then convince ourselves that's just part of adulting 🥴 but secretly dream of the simpler times as a kid at home
Roscoe, i was in the same boat joining the Navy at 17, and feeling the same way as u did, wanting to go home. Your feelings are valid. You were young as I was. Your life experiences have matured you in the way that was relevant for you. Society in general is a mess rn, and that could play a part in being "introverted" There is nothing wrong feeling the way you do, and it's not a negative thing, it's just the pathway we were led down.
Roscoe, It's not odd at all. Your soul longs for a haven of love and comfort where you can sink into an embrace that has cradled you for countless days, where your heart and soul find peace. It's a place where you can lay your head to rest, where promises are kept, and where you can be your true self, knowing you are safe. As the years unfold, we evolve and gain wisdom, and life's lessons shape us. Some of us find solace in quiet moments of introspection. This introspection is not a sign of weakness but of our growth and understanding of the complexities of life. 💜
It might be a combination of all the things that you mentioned. Additionally, you might have made your home a sanctuary- surrounded by people and things that bring you peace and calm your mind, a place where you can be yourself. I say this because when I feel homesick, I don’t want to get back to my childhood home, just my current home. ❤
As a newly divorced 55 year old, I too find myself more at home than I had thought I would be. Some of it is, after being home taking care of kids for 26 years I'm not sure what I would enjoy doing outside of the house, other than working with my horses. Some of it is now I have an aversion to dealing with other people's bs. And some of it is I don't know any people that enjoy doing the things I do; I love EDM and KPOP, reading, dining out, and running, so I just prefer to do them by myself, most of which I do at home. Home has just become more fun and relaxing than going anywhere. So when I do go somewhere, after the adventure has worn off in an hour or so, I'm ready to be home again. Thinking it might be time for a move.
Hi I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. After reading your situation I would guess that in 26 years your house was always a list of things to do, to clean, problems to solve and putting others well being's first. In this phase of your life you are doing things that you really want to do for yourself and you enjoying your home probably for the first time. Enjoy it fully 😊 happy New Year
As a 40 yr old myself, I think being more introverted is the natural course of life. We no longer feel the need to be out partying all night. We care less about what other people think of us, and being home is our safe space. So, of course, we would feel homesick after a few hours of being away. How could we not? It's where a large portion of our life occurs. Important moments and life events. It's where family gathers when we need support or to celebrate with us when we achieve our goals. It's where we hide away when we feel like our world is falling apart. Perpetually homesick would make sense when you consider these things because home is where the heart is. Your previous life experience may have affected how strongly you feel these things, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily the cause. However, being homesick because you CAN'T go home is different than being homesick when you CAN and it may have taught you what being truly homesick is a little too early in life, so now you feel like it's always been there and never goes away. Maybe it's a combination of the two, aging and life experience. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to be at home with your wife/family, your things , and your comfortable routine. Step out when you want, or when life calls, but you pay for that home. You've built a life there, and at the end of the day, that's better than anything else life can offer.
Big hug to you Captain for sharing with us. We spend a lot of time making a safe and cozy environment and it's natural to want to enjoy what you created. I was never in the military but I remember being homesick in college... I remember after I got married and it going spectacularly terrible I just wanted my Mom. Ironically I actually returned to my childhood home after my separation. I realized I like to go out in the world and visit and explore but I want to be on the couch with my kids and my dog more. I make sure that I plan things and go out if I start getting itchy... and I plan bigger things like a trip to San Fran with my kids to see Stray Kids for the summer... but the world is big and filled with so many things thay its easy to get tired of it at our age. I think it becomes the learning of conscious choice... like love You aren't just in love, you have to make the choice to be there and commit through it all. Being a part of society is the same. When we are young we are put in groups and go with the flow and as we get older we have to make choices on how to spend our time because we learn how precious it really is. I don't know if any of my words help at all... but do what you need to do. The great thing about Couches is that they are there when you need a soft place to land. We are here to catch you if you need it. I started seeing a counselor this year to help sort out some of life's confusions for me. Some sessions go better than others. But I am glad I did it. If we are never enough 'therapy' I hope you ask someone. You are a source of humor and joy to me. The introspective thought and deeper discussions have been a surprise, but a nice one. Get some sleep. Eat some carbs. I am sending a head pat as well. -MaddAbbAsh
Hello Roscoe, how refreshing to listen to your honesty and self reflection. One of the gems I learned from marriage counseling was that everyone “charges up” their inner battery differently and has different needs. My ex was energized by socializing and being with people often and frequently sought that lifestyle. I charged up at home. I had hobbies, made jewelry, contented myself in my home with reading and self enrichment. My outside socializing was considerably less. I felt lonely at parties, in crowds etc. It didn’t feel genuine to me and mostly music events and concerts filled my void outside the house. So as a couple we had to recognize each other’s needs and plan accordingly. It really helped us to understand each other and I felt less “different” knowing I was perfectly ok with my choice.
Thank you for sharing. I'm 39 and very introverted. I hate having to leave the comfort of my house to go to work and as soon as I get in to work I wanna go home. I have many family members who served in the military. Many of them were homesick like crazy. You remind me of them. Know that you are not alone and it's to not know the answer. Now onto a happy note. You make me feel like I have a friend in you. I look forward to every Stray Kids video that you make. You also introduced me to Dimash and The Rose and I'm gaining a new interest in Ateez. You are wonderful and the reason I rush home to see if you have made a new video.
Thank you for sharing. 💜 Thank you for your trust. 💜 I am a simple, introverted person. Home is where my heart is: my husband of 35 years, my children, my grandchildren, memories, comfort, my house, and the space where I feel no energy has to be expended to "be." I do love being with people and I know I need to recharge afterwards. Is the dichotomy really between being homesick and being more introverted? Does not one ride in tandem with the other? I may not be understanding your hypothesis. If being introverted is your true north and being home is what comforts you, are you content or upset about this? Wishing you clarity and peace. Happiest of new years to you!
I get what you are saying and the urge to find an answer. Your questions are valid and totally normal. Although, you might be over-thinking things a bit (coming from someone who has done a lot of over-thinking - it’s easier to see it in others and observe it more clearly… so thank you😂). Anyway, my point is… what does it matter if you know why you feel the urge to go home when you do? If that is what you feel, just do it. I am 54 years old and if there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that whenever I don’t follow my gut feeling, I suffer far more than when I do. Everyone needs different things at different times in their lives and in different amounts. There is no permanent behavioral solution to attain, because we are perpetually changing. The one thing we can rely on is our ‘gut feeling’, so if you get the urge to leave, then leave… do what your body is telling you to do and be comfortable with it. Don’t question it or doubt. Trust it. Own it. All that aside, I really appreciate your channel and who you are, introvert-ish and all… so thank you for being you. Love your content. Thank you for being on YT. 💜🫶🏻
I am 47 years old, and I understand you. As we get old, home is our safe place. There is nothing wrong with you. I stayed home most of the time, and I am happy. I am divorcee, but I enjoy to be alone, watch movies, you tube (like your Stray Kids reactions or I watch Stray Kids because I love them), Netflix, etc. I hope you feel better. There is a lot of people that is questioning their lives, like I do or like you do. God bless you!!! I am going to pray for you!!
Hey @Roscoe, long time no speak. Firstly I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and secondly as someone who had 2 parents and a step parent who served in the military one way or another for 15 years, I have seen the longterm effects the training and forced kind of isolation can have and I found that there are very drastic differences in each of them from this but also commonalities too. These commonalities were varying degrees of what you mentioned, and my mum said that she believes it was because there was no real time to grow naturally into the "adult" mindset, you were just thrust into that role, plus sometimes basic training can be brutal in ways the CO's may not mean to it to be, which didn't help. I don't know if my rambling will give any insights but I hope it at least gives you some comfort to know you're not alone in the way you feel. 💜💜
I left my family in the UK to build a life in Australia over ten years ago. Aside from my children I haven't seen a blood relative of mine in that entire time. My husband is my family, and his family is also mine... but I have a constant feeling of being physically distant and emotionally absent for the family I was born into. I guess there's family, and there's family?? My plan for 2025 is to save up, event single cent I can so I can see them again. My parents are unwell, I see my sisters struggling and as I get older I'm more and more aware of how fragile everything is. This morning I went and unsubscribed all my paid subscriptions - including yours - twitch, patreon - all of it. I'm putting my home first and that means for a while other things come lower down the list. The homesickness is very real and something I think we feel more deeply as where we are physically distand and our age distances us further from places, people and times we wished we still had. You are not alone in your homesickness. My seat on the couch is temporarily surrendered to others more present so I can manage my own homesickness. Enjoy your journey, be grateful each for each turn, and save me a cushion for when I'm back . 🛋💜
I hope that you get the chance to get home soon. I’m surrounded by family and I still constantly feel alone. I feel like I am an outsider in my own family and that I don’t belong. So I’m constantly trying to find a place.
hey! just gonna put some of my experience here and i'm in my early 30s for context. i spent my whole childhood living a relatively nomadic lifestyle (moved 10+ times before i was 30). despite not really having a concrete building as a home to go back to, i often attribute my feelings of homesickness to a strong desire to feel that sense of connection and being part of a group with people i love. when i become overwhelmed with homesickness, i usually end up driving to my brother's house and just existing in his home with his little family, feeling those connections strengthen again. it oftens relaxes me to the extent that i fall asleep on his couch a few hours after arriving. in my own home, i have the hardest time existing functionally when my partner isn't home for long chunks of time. my home is just a house when it's just me in it, i really rely on my people to be truly "home".
I think your feelings are true for many of us in middle age. We, as a nation, have dealt with some pretty significant tragedies: school shootings; terror attacks; a global pandemic. With the 24hr news cycle there is no escaping the harsh realities of our times. Whether it is a personal situation that you feel you don’t want to burden others with, or the weight of (inter)national tragedies that are too overwhelming, for many of us, especially those who are more introverted, it is easy to close yourself off in times of trouble. You are lucky enough to have found an outlet with the couch crew to reach out and connect with others.
I feel you, Roscoe. It's all the traumas from our childhood, Covid ( more depressed and anxiety surfaced for everyone) and the efter effects of Covid in the world. Thanks for your transparency and authenticity. I have developed anxiety and dealing with it. This had made me more introverted. Society expects me to be extro and I manage like you do but end of the day you know there is that imbalance within you. It's a struggle to get that harmony within. Therapy might help? Daily motivation and prayers needed. Take care and we will carry on.
I believe we become more inverted because we are "homesick". We get used to being alone and we learn to adapt we adjust to it so much so that we can't stand full on extroverted things. I'm also retired Army and while I was in I was extremely extraverted now I can barely go to the grocery store for 30 minutes without just wanting to get home. Hell it's gotten so bad that I rarely even go on dates because we'll quite frankly it's exhausting. Just know your not alone. My tolerance for stupid people is non existent. You are not alone. I find so much comfort in my solidarity or maybe it's just what I'm used too. You are not alone.
I think this is from the oracle (matrix), "one never sees past the answers they don't understand" or something like that. I am 60 and it seems as if I am perpetually waiting for life to change sharply or stay the same always, and it never does either. Hope that helps somehow, have a great new year!!
Congrats Roscoe, you have become grown up. I don’t mean that in a flip way. I was in my 40s, and still waiting to feel grown up. Then suddenly, baaam! I felt like an adult. But not just any adult, but an old adult. The body suddenly creaked and cracked, and the glasses, usually just used for reading, were on my face more often than not. I didn’t gradually age, I slammed into it, and still wonder how did I get here? I know I will never be called the life of the party again, and you know what? I am perfectly fine with that. I like going to bed early. I like quiet. I like calmness. I most importantly like knowing, that there are many things I do not have to worry about going through ever again. Life is good.❤❤❤
I would like it if you did more of these "fireside chats". You're very easy to listen to. As for perpetually homesick - my childhood home is gone, as are the neighborhood it sat in, and the entire small city that surrounded it. I've been deeply homesick for decades. But I can never go home again, not a trace of home exists.
I think it's both of those things. Getting older and personal experience. Not being able to be home, whether because of circumstances like being in the military or because you're young and don't have a say where you go does change you. When I was a kid my father insisted on going out every weekend and I remember constantly questioning why I had to go too and the response was basically always "because you go where your family goes". I remember that all I wanted was to just spend the weekend at home, in my bedroom, playing with my toys. I couldn't wait to turn 13 because at that age, I could be trusted to be home alone. I was always introverted to begin with but now that I'm an adult, I can absolutely relate to hitting that wall and having something in my brain go "I want to go home", because now I *can* be. Now I *do* get a say. Even if I'm with people I love, even if I'm enjoying myself, there comes a time where I reach that mental limit. Sometimes I can push through, sometimes I can't. I don't have any answers either but you're absolutely not alone in feeling this way, Roscoe 💖
I definitely, know how you feel on this. When I go out, I can wait to get home. Once I am home, I don't want to leave again. Like you I left home young (17). I enjoy times out with friends, but sometimes I am more excited to go home. Thank you for talking about it, and reading the comments you aren't alone.
I don't know if this will help, but as a 52 yr old woman. We all become more introvert through life. It's experience and none of us leave here without scars. Home sick, I would relate to your safe bubble. You're happy, safe and relaxed with your wife. That's amazing, and our safe bubbles are great! 😉
Hi Roscoe, I understand your question, and I have read some responses to the question, "Are you perpertually homesick because of your time away from home while serving in the military?" I am 58, and until now, I haven't even realized that what I have been feeling is "homesick". But what does it mean to even be homesick? To me, it is the feeling of being safe, comfortable, relaxed, doing what we want with who we want or with no one but ourselves. In the military, you were forced to serve for 4 years doing something that although it may have been exciting and new to begin with, that feeling wore off quickly and made you yearn for that "safe zone" made worse by the factor that you couldn't just walk away. Society is the same. We are taught and expected to work continuously for most of our adult lives, doing whatever we choose to do as young adults. The problem is that our desires and needs change, we change, and our need for change makes us feel homesick because we no longer feel satisfied with what we are doing. It is not serving us the same way it did when we decided to take that road. Makes me think of RM when he sang the words "friends change, people change, everything change", maybe it is that time for you. It may be time for a change to fulfill your current needs and wants. Perpetually homesick? maybe, if you can not find the certain something, that drive, that makes you feel excited. More introverted as we grow older? Possibly just that you find contentment at home doing what you are doing. Becoming homeless this year, after losing everything due to a layoff, I find myself very homesick. It seems to me a mixture of depression, anxiety, fear, and longing where I want to crawl in a hole and escape reality watching youtube all day. Thank you for being a reactor who can help people like myself feel a little less homesick. BTS, ARMY, and reactors make me feel at home. I hope you find what it is that will make you feel less homesick. -Litl D
I’m constantly blown away by the level of self insight you have Sir, and to offer my thoughts along with everyone’s, I’d say it’s perhaps a bit of both. My childhood was incredibly unstable just for the fact we, along with most others around us in the 80s had little money, my husband’s on the other hand was exceptionally secure. Now he’s 54 and I’m 47 and we have both come to the collective conclusion that we just don’t want to have to ‘people’ very often. We actively enjoy returning home from having to ‘people’ for longer than 4 hours and no longer feel it necessary to do lots of ‘going out’ to gigs or such because we enjoy being comfortable and I just don’t have the patience for waiting in line to use the girls toilet. Perhaps you just feel the call to return home more keenly because of your homesickness when you were in the military, almost as though your brain is luxuriating in being able to go home whenever and however you want to? Anyway, that’s all my brain can muster up at 04:23am in the morning 🤣. Hugs to you, Gentleman of the sofa ♥️🕊
It’s that time in life when we start realizing how certain life events truly affected us…and yes a lot of it is trauma and it’s ok to name it as such and healthy to do so. It’s can also also terrifying to realize just how much our lives and who we are have been shaped by those traumas. You’re not alone in looking backwards in your life to find answers and reasons for who you are today and why you are feeling a certain way. Longing for home…longing for your safe place…the place you can be yourself is a beautiful thing. I hope we all have a least one place or person that we can call home. ❤ I appreciate you Roscoe and your willingness to be vulnerable. I’ve felt seen and encouraged many times while watching a reaction/video. 🙂
I feel, I respect your words. Im 28, had joined the cadet program at 12 years old left my home at 17 and partook and supported military servicing up until i was 25 (covid) and i often ask myself... why wasn't i like the other teenagers? Like the other young adults? The intro-extro in my conflicted. I think its just the course of time. You starting adulting" at an early age, military at such a young age can do alot of things. So I think the homesick or the natural need to just be at home feels more accomodating. Maybe its related to stress or again you have to regroup and energise so getting home (or to your safe place) just feels naturally better. I have no concrete answer for you, but i definitely know one thing is you are not alone. And i doubt we will ever find a real answer.
Hey Cap! I can relate to a lot of this because as I get older I feel like you do. I feel like I’m more introverted and I can’t wait to be in my comfort zone, HOME. As I am approaching 45 I come here to decompress and relax just so I can function and to figure out who I am now. I’m trying to figure out what’s my next move and since home is my Safety Zone, I constantly want to be here.
Roscoe thank you so much for sharing. You are so genuine, sincere and open, just like BTS. 2024 was not a good year for me. BTS and content creators like you always make me feel like you can get through things. When I'm down I listen to Mikokosmos... It's so soothing. When I doubt myself I listen to learning how to love myself. When I want to get hyped up I listen to Cyphers and UGH 🔥 Your channel is awesome and you are too! In the words of BTS The Best is Yet to Come. Happy New Year!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🎉
Hello, Roscoe. It is good to hear you and see you again. Thanks for sharing what you did with us. Are you more of an introvert as you get older? We often are, simply because in our 40s (as you are), most of us won't be seen jumping on a trampoline on the get go once we see one. That wouldn't be our immediate reaction. Ipso facto, we are creatures of familiarity. And that is comforting. Growing gracefully into an introvert also means treasuring life sometimes on one's own, appreciating the silence at times. It is good. As for being perpetually homesick, very many are actually in the same boat as you. Just as the word trauma depends on one's interpretation of it and its acceptance at various levels (until one is in 'trauma') - then feeling homesick can be various things to different people. You could be homesick for an apple pie you once had that brings back good memories, or homesick for a small town you were once in and the shops down that street, or just plopping into bed and being a little younger and carefree with no worries. Feeling 'perpetually' homesick is sometimes not currently being able to find 'home' and 'comfort', and yes, 'familiarity' at a certain point in time. Not that we are lost in any way. We have just hit a pause in our journey perhaps. Could also be our bodies telling us to stop running up that hill for a bit, and to slow down a tad...and clearly breathe, for as long as we want and need to. It is okay. The Koreans say "Gwenchana" to mean it's okay. So basically for me, i like being an introvert because it has its joys, too. And as humankind, we are always looking for our 'home'. And home can mean different things to different folks, which is totally fine. As an ARMY, our 'home' has always been Bangtan Sonyeondan 💜 (BTS) and its members. Like Jungkook doing his almost 3 hour WeVerse "live" recently where 20.2 million - yea - folks flocked to see, hear, meet, listen, and talk (in writing) to him. We missed him. He is our home, our comfort, our familiar face. And so are his brothers in the group. He wanted to be with us because he missed us, too. He said that plenty of times very honestly and sincerely. And yes, don't forget that it is indeed year end. And just before a brand new year begins....we tend to think of similar matters such as the ones you have. It is our journey together. You and us here on your channel, Roscoe. It's what we both needed - comfort, familiarity, HOME 🏡 ❤😊
Older, more introverted, guarded. I will say that in my forties, that all started. As I aged more, I would think about all of that too. I didn't discuss it with anyone because I thought it was just me. But as soon as I had one of my best friends say "I hate people now"...I knew it wasn't just me. I had also said the same words. So that opened a discussion about how we've changed as we've aged. It's a continuing conversation. The more people you talk to about it, the more you start to realize that you're not alone. In my opinion, and I'm sure others will agree, you gain so much knowledge about the world, emotions, etc., you just get tired of it sometimes. And you also get tired of trying to help younger people "learn" when they're going through something that you've been through and they just don't listen to you. They have to learn for themselves, just as we are. But it's nice to put little triggers in their minds for them in their future. Oh, and boy do you get tired easier lol. Even people that are healthy and work out get tired. About homesick. I think there are all kinds of homesick. Mine is felt mostly when I've traveled and I'm coming "home" on plane. I look out over my state and all I can feel is "I'm home". Same thing happens even if it's just from going out shopping or whatever. Like Dorothy says, "There's no place like home." It can be your country, state, county (yeah, I felt it seeing my county sign driving back from somewhere.), your street, your bedroom, your church. Whatever gives you that feeling. And I love that feeling because you just instantly relax. There's no limit as to how much you can love your "home", wherever it may be. Empaths have a harder time with questioning themselves like this because it makes us feel like we're being too emotional or whatever, but in the end, no matter what degree, I think we all feel it. I want you to know that it's o.k. and you are normal to question it. I'm an introvert and it's only gotten worse (or just cozier at home if you look at it differently), but you would never know I was that way when I worked with the public. It's o.k. to slow down a little, stop, look around. In all honestly, I will tell you that I've decided that my 50s have been my "f*** you" period. Or, as a more cultured person may say, "It's my selfish period.". I just wanted to think of myself for once in my life LOL. It's o.k. I deserve it. Much love & hugs to you. I hope my words helped a little bit. 💜💜💜
Oh God, I feel the exact same way. Every single day. And I haven't been away from home for more than a week, and that too thrice. All I've wanted during that time was to come back home. I yearn for it. Like something inside me feels suffocated when I'm away. Even at work, after 3-4 hours, I just want to escape. And the moment I get back home, it's like everything is fixed.
I've had a very similar experience to yours. 17 yrs old Marine. Homesick, to the point where hurt my heart. Don't get me wrong.I loved my experience in the Corps. It gave me strength in many ways. I am now 62, and what drove me to enlist and have the feelings I had and still have to some degree. Is to belong. To something, someone, someplace. All while being an extreme introvert. Weaving a cocoon that keeps getting thicker by the year. Until you brought this up. I never quite thought of the fact that because I left home at such an early age that I was in a pursuit for something I lost. I always thought that leaving home gave me that validation of achievement for being strong and determined. Look at me. Look what I did if I could get through this, that made me a stronger person. It didn't help that right after I got discharged. I lost my mom ( my only parental support) at 24. So you really got me reflecting on myself after this? Thank you
Maybe, just maybe our true home is that green meadow,that brook, or the large trees of the forest and we miss it so we curl into the quiet of our homes to find comfort as we age-
Hi Roscoe! Love and absolutely adore you!!! I’ll be 44 in March, I have always been introverted and a deep thinker my entire life! I’m a mom of 3 young adult children and a grandmother to a 4 year old granddaughter and my second on the way in April. I have always felt homesick, a longing for something missing? As I’ve gotten into my 40’s , I’ve been really stuck in my head, my heart…. Contemplating life, my mistakes, flaws… Always on the verge of tears 🤷🏻♀️ I think most people are sensing something off in the air / the world? I believe, as I’m a born again Christian, we’re longing to return to our Father in heaven….. there’s certainly been a heaviness on my heart 💜
Hi Roscoe, Im still a young adult, but when i was a little younger i did sport. I think, i can say that i did it professionally. So because of that I was not at home very often, but in training camp, and I always had that feeling that i want to go home. And now, every time when i fell that something isnt right, even if im at home at the moment, I have that thought. Its like, im standing at the kitchen and talking to someone and im saying to them that im tired and want to go home. Im not sure is it a same thing that you talked about, but its just the thought i had while watching your video.
Personally, I learned at a young age that home = safety. I am someone who is introverted and have had problems with anxiety for as long as I can remember, although it didn't get really bad until high school. My anxiety even made some of my college years almost impossible. There were days I would get ready for school, grab my stuff, and the moment I grabbed the door handle, I couldn't turn it. I couldn't leave my apartment and eventually needed to move back home. BTW, my field of study was vocal music. But as an introvert, I had a love/hate relationship with the stage. I loved to sing. I loved all different styles of music. I loved looking at the audience and knowing they were feeling exactly what I was trying to convey. I loved to feel the energy of the room. At the same time, I hated so many strangers looking at me. I had been singing since I was a child, and in my 3rd year of college, I needed to take a break from it. My other strength was giving speeches. It was something I did well all through high school, college and into my work years...but all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. I really never did parties unless it's close friends because it's so exhausting. Being around crowds of any kimd is exhausting, and all I'd want to do is return home. I'm still that way. Some days, I don't leave. Some days, I cancel plans.
As a military brat.. We are reprogrammed to not know what "home" feels like. So I really can't tell you if it's homesickness or be coming an introvert. I could say it's age, being 50 I know me I hate being out of the house longer than HAVE to be.
I thnk it's a mix of both, if I'm being honest. I'm 35, and even thinking back to my 20s, I can't fathom being out as much now as I was then. I was never home if I could help it, because home wasn't always the best place for me, emotionally. Once I had my own place to call home at 30, where it was okay to be myself without any sort of judgement or expectation, I wanted to be there as much as I could. And getting older is definitely an aspect of it too, because your circle of people who you can spend time with (without feeling drained by the end) gets smaller, and sometimes it's easier to stay home than it is to find one of them (or worse, spend time with people who do drain you). I think another aspect is the fact that so much of our world can be carried with us, now. Entertainment is a swipe away, friends and family are a swipe away, comfort foods are a swipe away...But nothing can actually bring you that feeling of being home aside from actually being there. And that applies whether your idea of home is the physical place, or being with specific people, or just the safe and secure vibe you get from a specific situation. No technology can bring that to you, so it makes sense that you want to seek it out when you're away from it. No matter what the reason, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be home, so long as it doesn't lead to you completely cutting off the outside world. As I like to remind my younger friends when they tease at me for being a homebody: "Of course I want to be home! I pay to be here, my stuff is here, and I control the guest list and the music!".
Hi Roscoe, of course I have no idea what it is in your case since our lives probably couldn’t be more different. I feel really similar although I’m only 27 and definitely have not experienced anything like the military. For me, I’m pretty sure, it really is just being introverted. I also feel like I wanna go home pretty quickly at any social event, even if I’m having fun. I just run out
Dear Roscoe, there could be several different factors. - consciousness 1 - you observe your own reactions better, so you realize your feelings a clear way, and if you suppressed the soft urge to be at home earlier, now you let this voice be heard - consciousness 2 - you observe the importance of the things better as you grow, and you realize that a lots of shit happening out there is not really important, and as you run out of time, you want to spend time only with the important things, and usually they are not outside but inside. Sorry for the "run out of time" expression, I am almost the same age as you, and half of my life is already behind me - overpopulation - noise, too much stimulation - the world is not the same as 20 years ago, and from that much stimulation we can get tired easier. Nowadays you have to be alone at home to hear your own thoughts - responsibility 1 - we can be ourselves at home (in lucky situation, with a good family), but if we are outside, we are responsible for every single move and word, and can be judged. After COVID, when we had years to spend at home freely, getting tired of following stupid rules of etiquette - responsibility 2 - I am not sure you feel the same way, but I just want to go back to the time, when I don't have to be an adult, someone else carries the responsibility, they make decisions, plans what to eat for dinner etc.
I had a really toxic childhood; couldn't wait to leave home. Even then, there were a couple of times (at least during basic and AIT) that I missed being "home". As stressful as the military can be, I think anyone who's ever served has had at least one moment where it gets overwhelming and you want to go home. I'm not sure if that stems from being homesick or a desire to return to a familiar routine. Nostalgia, maybe... for me, at least. I'm probably not the best person to talk to; voted most shy in my graduating class (very introverted). It seems like this behavior intensifies as we get older, but is that really the case, or do we learn to be more cautious about how much time we spend with others? For me, there were so many times where I made the wrong choice about who or how much I should share myself, not just physically but emotionally. And I've probably gone and overshared. Let me just end this by saying that I hope you find something that helps.
(Found your channel when you reacted to Ateez vids..) I'm not sure if what you are ascribing as "home" may be family? I come from a particularly close-knit family of 5. Dad was in the AF, so moving around meant my sibs were my bfs. After a death in our fam, I starting reading a lot about grief. For those mentioning divorce, that is also a kind of loss certainly. Family and those closest to you growing have a knowledge of you, an understanding, that many around you today simply don't have. I think that's the most difficult part of getting older. The feeling of being misunderstood... or rather knowing that those who once knew you best, you've lost.
I’m 54 I’m more introverted particularly post covid I would also say I’m more nostalgic I don’t live where I gre up and I think of my hometown Can relate
I've been homesick my whole life. I'm 64. I've lived in eight states (enjoyed most of them). Raised two daughters. Got divorced. I'm "home" for my daughters, and I want to be where they are, but I don't know where home is for myself. It sounds sad but it's not. It just is.
Hi, Roscoe :) Just letting you know this is Polly - if you remember me! I've just decided to change my handle name - what with the new year and all. I wrote a long-ish note to you just yesterday, in response to your sharing of thoughts here. I wondered if you might have thought it was me 😅. Me with the long-ish thoughts. Anyway, i love being here - it is actually quite calming. And love your thoughts on matters of similar interests in your reactions. And you make a lot of sense, too, in all good ways. That's why i'm here. Looking forward to the new year and what this channel brings. We'll be with you on your journey, too, Roscoe. Hope you pop up on the 1st of January so i can wish you on the first day of a brand new year! Take care, and thank you for the joys you brought this 2024! Salute!
I think you are suffering from adulthood. It's hard. It's ferking hard, and we just want to be as young as we feel. We want the safe place that we had when we were embraced by our family. Oh, I can't find the words any more than you can. Sending hugzzz and greetings from New Zealand 🇳🇿
Roscoe, hi. I started following your channel recently, because I enjoy tremendously your comments on Stray Kids (I'm a fan). Today I was a little surprised by this video, in a good way. Let me try to send you some ideas to ponder on. First, I am older than you, I'm turning sixty next 12th of January. So, I think about my age and my journey, as you do, perhaps a bit more, because I am starting to reach that period of life where you get not only older, but more frail. The body starts to fail you, you cannot do as much as you could when you were thirty or forty. You start to realize that most of your life has already been lived, and many of your dear ones have already left this world. You start to depend on your memories, your thoughts and experiences (your inner world) more than on the people around you. You also have a lot more to miss. So, in my experience, I've reached a stage where I am quieter, inward-looking, observing more than acting. Don't get me wrong, I love people, I am a good cook, my husband and I love entertaining, but the dinner parties are getting smaller, we prefer sitting down for a good meal and a good chat over a good wine with one or two close friends at a time than having a group of people over for barbecue. About your homesickness, I understand a little. My father was a military pilot in the Brazilian Air Force, so I grew up in different military bases, moving around, not spending more than two or three years in the same place. I have learned to adapt to any environment fast, but I have this sadness of not having roots. I was born in Rio de Janeiro, but I can't really call it my hometown, because I moved around so much. I do not have childhood friends, for the same reason. I think I feel I missed out on something special, every time I hear of friends who studied together since first grade all the way to high school. My guess is that you feel like something precious was taken from you these four years. While I feel rootless, you feel uprooted. These life changing moments leave an inprint in our souls, and they do not fade. But you are not really an introvert, just someone with a big inner world, sensitive and intelligent, who likes to understand things. You are a thinker. So good it is, to be able to follow your thoughts online. Best wishes from São Paulo, Brazil.
Gracias por compartir como te sentis. Honestidad en su máxima expresión. No tengo una respuesta. Quizás muchas preguntas por pasar por el mismo sentimiento. Solo se que siempre quiero llegar a casa. Voy a leer atentamente los comentarios. Sabias que me hace bien escucharte? Seguramente a todos los que te seguimos. Un abrazo enorme y un especial cariño desde Argentina ❤
You left home because you were full of passion for proselytizing in a certain place. But maybe you weren't quite ready to leave the nest as much as you thought you were. And maybe, despite your experiences in life, you still need that nest on a base level. Sounds like you need to nest...and there's nothing wrong with that! I'm older than you and after years of child rearing as a single parent, and now taking care of my elderly.parent, my own empty nest is swiftly approaching and I too find myself at a loss. Maybe ask your famiky, or those who knew you then, what they thought of you when you left at 17. (Sorry for the spellinf, it's after midnight and I'm fumble-fingered on thw phone)
I have had this feeling in my chest that I think is loneliness, for most of my life. I have this need to go home but it doesn't exist anymore, if it ever did. I've been essentially independent since I was 14 (I'm 37 now) and I hope to one day figure out what 'home' is for me.
Roscoe, I hope the end of 2024 and the start of 2025 treat you and your loves ones well. As for your question... Thinking back on your teenage years, what part of you did you have to leave behind or suppress when you joined the military? The way you phrased what you were saying sounded like what you were missing was deep and caring connection with a trusted group (family? friends?).... and the self-direction to choose where to direct your energies. Hehehe...has the couch crew spoilt you a bit by creating a community (safe zone?) that's too much fun to be away from? Is it introversion? or contentment?
Hmmmm 🤔 Now this is an interesting thought. I’m going to have to think about this one because are you homesick for your current home or for your home while you were young?
I felt like that during my 20s. I was trying to get teaching jobs, but I could only get them out of state. So I made the move, then felt homesick, failed at teaching, came back (I repeated this a couple times). Now I'm at a community college near me and living at home. Best of both. I recently started playing piano on youtube to expand my horizons. I'm still learning though. If you'd like to listen, I recommend jimin's serendipity cover ruclips.net/video/tyiMvzJ5U7I/видео.htmlsi=aw10bqznaMyC9f9j Thanks! Good luck to everyone else too!!
I felt the same way during my time in the Marines, and I sometimes wonder if those years made me permanently homesick too. You’ve put this into words so well-it’s like you’re describing exactly how I feel. I don’t know the answer either, but you’re definitely not alone. Thanks for opening up about this. I think we all need more honest, human conversations like this.
For me, at 55, growing up without cell phones and internet and 24 hour channels, I think the volume and pace of information flow in this day and age overwhelms us in ways we don’t always recognize. In my case, I just left a job where there were ridiculous deadlines, and way more work that our small team could manage. I have spent a lot of days over the last 6 months just wanting the day to be over…to go home. Heck, some days I was pulling into the parking lot in the morning and already wanting to go home. Could part of it be our inability to control our information intake and what is being asked of us? Because I feel ready to go home when I get overwhelmed. When there’s too much input. And that happens pretty easily these days. Take care!
Hi Roscoe, I think it is a quite normal human behavior that when we are under a certain amount of pressure we begin to feel the need to get back home or to our safe place. What I experienced is, that as I’m getting older (I’m 47 now) my tolerance level is getting lower and I need my ‘safe place’ more and more to recharge and also when I’m getting out again I prefer to choose quality over quantity… I mean seeing less people, choosing to stay only in the company of that ones that I really appreciate. I think it’s part of the normal learning process and it doesn’t mean that you’re becoming more introverted, just more wiser. ❤
I just found this video. What a wonderful thing for you to model. Healthy talk about issues challenging ourselves. Asking others for their insight or advice. That alone is so important for us to all have healthy mental health. Reaching out for help when you feel stuck or perplexed. So Bravo to you. And a thank you from me. My first thoughts were when you were speaking about your trauma. It seems you minimized yourself and were a little ashamed to call it trauma because what you experienced didn't deserve that severe of a label. I understand. I am going through a really rough and challenging time in my life. And I am glad I can go back and re-examine some of my childhood traumas. Maybe if you picked another name for what you went through, you wouldn't feel so bad. I feel your trauma could be grief. Deep grief. Because you felt it every day. It never went away. You were abandoned in the opposite way by you leaving your family. They couldn't come with you. You said you were sad. I have a feeling you cried yourself to sleep many a night. You felt isolation because nothing you did brought you those cozy homey feelings you longed for. It's important for me to say this...I have no clue what you really experienced, but I am just sharing my opinion. I am not a doctor. Anyway, since you had never felt this ongoing grief you didn't know how to ask for help. You questioned yourself..am I even normal being homesick every day? You probably couldd have asked to talk to a counselor. I'm sure the military has some kind of mental health specialists who you could have talked to. Offered you ideas. Offered you ways to deal with what you were going through. But you Never Never got the real help you needed. So this childhood trauma is still an open wound that has never been healed. You may be aware of that because that's why you are examining yourself. But you may never have thought of it as an open wound. What would you do if you saw someone with an open wound and saw that it never healed for years and years?? I know exactly what you would do because you are kind hearted and compassionate and take care of others. You would suggest they go to a doctor. A specialist who could heal that deep wound. Not any ordinary doctor. But a doctor who specializes in this kind of unhealed wound. It wouldn't be a quick fix. Clean the wound. Apply an ointment with medicine. Then wrap it up with gauze and a wrapping. And then send you on your way. You would need daily cleanings of the wound. Daily ointment and daily new fresh dressings on it. So that's what I am suggesting to you. Go to a specialist. A real experienced doctor who can help you. And seeing them week by week, you can slowly heal. And close that deep wound. And develop a very dramatic scar worthy of showing people. I myself am at the scar level. I experienced something traumatic as a child. But I 😢 really never understand it's impact. Until I had another traumatic experience as an adult that brought it all forward. Through God's grace I found a doctor who immediately diagnosed me. Clinical depression. She said. You'll need some meds and some counseling, and then you will be ok. I started going to my therapist 3 times a week. Then 2 times a week. As I healed I only needed to see here 1 time a week. And my doctor was right. Then I was ok. I am NOT saying you are Clinically Depressed. I am sharing what my diagnose was. When you find the doctor you need and feel comfortable with...they will correctly diagnose you. Roscoe. We can offer you ideas and share our experiences. And how nice of you to ask us. But you need a qualified specialist doctor to help you. Your question was confusing to me. Am I perpetually homesick or introverted? I thought. You can be both. Or maybe that's not even it. Only a good doctor can tell you. I do believe you being separated from your family was traumatic for you. Because you've never healed from it. Being introverted is not a sickness or disease. It's the way a person can be identified how they live their life. Many many highly creative people gifted in the arts are introverted. Being around a crowd or people can zap your energy. Zap your brain. Make you feel uncomfortable. You need your solace time to refocus. To recharge yourself. To be comfortably you. Roscoe. It's ok to be an introvert. Being a theatre person I thought I was an extrovert. I didn't find out until my clinical depression as an adult that I'm really an introvert. That discovery really helped heal me. So Roscoe. Enjoy your safe place. But go out and find your doctor to help you heal that open wound from your childhood. If it's grief they can walk you through the stages until you receive some relief. If it's something else like PTSD which is possible, they can help you process through that and finally understand that kind of trauma. I'll be praying for you. I hope you can turn to your faith to help your healing too. God Bless you. And He will.
I think homesick implies that we miss being around family, we miss being cared for, and we miss someone else making tough decisions for us. Introversion is needing a calm quiet place, preferably alone to recharge our batteries. When you get the itch to go home after a few hours away, you are just done socializing/being in public, and are ready to be alone. Yes, you are charismatic, you are probably an ambivert. You make videos, talk with us through the chat, but you're at home, and when you turn us off, you're alone again. Recharging your batteries for the next public interaction. It's totally normal. ❤
As I have aged yes I have become more introverted. The shine of the outside world has lost some it's luster and I grown tired of the masks people use to make everyone think they are doing 'just fine' and the weird energy that they put out. I'm still working on own stuff. I have a time limit like you do for interfacing with people and then need time to recharge and ground myself again.
This to me seems to be your ministry. So even though you are a face and a voice on the internet you are having an impact that expanded globally. These kinds of topics and 'couch meetings' have opened up dialogue that spills over to Discord channels and the comment sections and have been very helpful to those who think that they are the only ones going through certain things. And we have learned to take care of each other. If home is where you are comfortable doing things-by all means continue. Love ya Cap!
Hi Roscoe, the use of the term “homesick” is a powerful use of the word and terrifically explains the many and often conflicting emotions of who we were, are and yet to be determined. Who we are at 14, 24, 34, 44 and where I am now at 54, I feel are stories of chapters of the same book. How boring of a book would it be if we couldn’t connect the story from one stage to another? Your 44yr self is reflecting on your 24 self and you are the same person but with 20 more years of experience and lessons learned and self discovery made. I believe “homesickness” happens to every person brave enough to reflect on the what, why’s and how comes of the life we have lived. The desire to “return home” feels in my body like revisiting an emotional state of safety. I think of it as a mindset. When my brain and body are being asked to do or say a million things and being among anyone, anywhere, I have to “turn inward” and bring my mind to a place that chemically relaxes the tension. Your ability to recognize this need in yourself is inspiring! Thank you for sharing this part of yourself and being venerable to a community of people that care about you without ever having met you.
I feel like I have been an introvert ever since I was a kid. But when I was growing up, life kind of forced me to go out and socialize in order to survive. Facing peer pressure, friendship drama, family conflicts, etc were so exhausting and you can also say traumatizing. Now that I'm 48, I enjoy staying home more. I have acquaintances instead of very close friends. It's all peaceful now with me, myself, Kpop and Kdrama... no real drama, please! Had enough of that! 😁 I think it is a part of growing old and you are going to be just fine, Roscoe! Borahae 💜
I grew up moving around, so never really had a "home base" since it kept getting uprooted, but I was often homesick for my childhood before all the moves started. Realize to this day I am different from people because of my upbringing, both pros and cons to living as a transplant, but it definitely changes you. Having your foundation broken and reformed certainly effects how you approach life I think. I'm an introvert, but had to learn to be an extrovert with each new "home" I landed in, but it exhausts me. Also, think as time goes on we shove more and more of our true selves away in order to get through life and then convince ourselves that's just part of adulting 🥴 but secretly dream of the simpler times as a kid at home
Roscoe, i was in the same boat joining the Navy at 17, and feeling the same way as u did, wanting to go home. Your feelings are valid. You were young as I was. Your life experiences have matured you in the way that was relevant for you. Society in general is a mess rn, and that could play a part in being "introverted" There is nothing wrong feeling the way you do, and it's not a negative thing, it's just the pathway we were led down.
Roscoe, It's not odd at all. Your soul longs for a haven of love and comfort where you can sink into an embrace that has cradled you for countless days, where your heart and soul find peace. It's a place where you can lay your head to rest, where promises are kept, and where you can be your true self, knowing you are safe. As the years unfold, we evolve and gain wisdom, and life's lessons shape us. Some of us find solace in quiet moments of introspection. This introspection is not a sign of weakness but of our growth and understanding of the complexities of life. 💜
Beautifully worded. Poetry.
It might be a combination of all the things that you mentioned. Additionally, you might have made your home a sanctuary- surrounded by people and things that bring you peace and calm your mind, a place where you can be yourself. I say this because when I feel homesick, I don’t want to get back to my childhood home, just my current home. ❤
As a newly divorced 55 year old, I too find myself more at home than I had thought I would be. Some of it is, after being home taking care of kids for 26 years I'm not sure what I would enjoy doing outside of the house, other than working with my horses. Some of it is now I have an aversion to dealing with other people's bs. And some of it is I don't know any people that enjoy doing the things I do; I love EDM and KPOP, reading, dining out, and running, so I just prefer to do them by myself, most of which I do at home. Home has just become more fun and relaxing than going anywhere. So when I do go somewhere, after the adventure has worn off in an hour or so, I'm ready to be home again. Thinking it might be time for a move.
Hi I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. After reading your situation I would guess that in 26 years your house was always a list of things to do, to clean, problems to solve and putting others well being's first. In this phase of your life you are doing things that you really want to do for yourself and you enjoying your home probably for the first time. Enjoy it fully 😊 happy New Year
As a 40 yr old myself, I think being more introverted is the natural course of life. We no longer feel the need to be out partying all night. We care less about what other people think of us, and being home is our safe space. So, of course, we would feel homesick after a few hours of being away. How could we not? It's where a large portion of our life occurs. Important moments and life events. It's where family gathers when we need support or to celebrate with us when we achieve our goals. It's where we hide away when we feel like our world is falling apart. Perpetually homesick would make sense when you consider these things because home is where the heart is.
Your previous life experience may have affected how strongly you feel these things, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily the cause. However, being homesick because you CAN'T go home is different than being homesick when you CAN and it may have taught you what being truly homesick is a little too early in life, so now you feel like it's always been there and never goes away.
Maybe it's a combination of the two, aging and life experience. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to be at home with your wife/family, your things , and your comfortable routine.
Step out when you want, or when life calls, but you pay for that home. You've built a life there, and at the end of the day, that's better than anything else life can offer.
I agree.
Big hug to you Captain for sharing with us. We spend a lot of time making a safe and cozy environment and it's natural to want to enjoy what you created. I was never in the military but I remember being homesick in college... I remember after I got married and it going spectacularly terrible I just wanted my Mom. Ironically I actually returned to my childhood home after my separation. I realized I like to go out in the world and visit and explore but I want to be on the couch with my kids and my dog more. I make sure that I plan things and go out if I start getting itchy... and I plan bigger things like a trip to San Fran with my kids to see Stray Kids for the summer... but the world is big and filled with so many things thay its easy to get tired of it at our age. I think it becomes the learning of conscious choice... like love
You aren't just in love, you have to make the choice to be there and commit through it all. Being a part of society is the same. When we are young we are put in groups and go with the flow and as we get older we have to make choices on how to spend our time because we learn how precious it really is. I don't know if any of my words help at all... but do what you need to do. The great thing about Couches is that they are there when you need a soft place to land. We are here to catch you if you need it. I started seeing a counselor this year to help sort out some of life's confusions for me. Some sessions go better than others. But I am glad I did it. If we are never enough 'therapy' I hope you ask someone. You are a source of humor and joy to me. The introspective thought and deeper discussions have been a surprise, but a nice one. Get some sleep. Eat some carbs. I am sending a head pat as well. -MaddAbbAsh
Hello Roscoe, how refreshing to listen to your honesty and self reflection. One of the gems I learned from marriage counseling was that everyone “charges up” their inner battery differently and has different needs. My ex was energized by socializing and being with people often and frequently sought that lifestyle. I charged up at home. I had hobbies, made jewelry, contented myself in my home with reading and self enrichment. My outside socializing was considerably less. I felt lonely at parties, in crowds etc. It didn’t feel genuine to me and mostly music events and concerts filled my void outside the house. So as a couple we had to recognize each other’s needs and plan accordingly. It really helped us to understand each other and I felt less “different” knowing I was perfectly ok with my choice.
Thank you for sharing. I'm 39 and very introverted. I hate having to leave the comfort of my house to go to work and as soon as I get in to work I wanna go home. I have many family members who served in the military. Many of them were homesick like crazy. You remind me of them. Know that you are not alone and it's to not know the answer.
Now onto a happy note. You make me feel like I have a friend in you. I look forward to every Stray Kids video that you make. You also introduced me to Dimash and The Rose and I'm gaining a new interest in Ateez. You are wonderful and the reason I rush home to see if you have made a new video.
Its oddly comforting to hear another person feel this way.
True.
Thank you for sharing. 💜 Thank you for your trust. 💜 I am a simple, introverted person. Home is where my heart is: my husband of 35 years, my children, my grandchildren, memories, comfort, my house, and the space where I feel no energy has to be expended to "be." I do love being with people and I know I need to recharge afterwards. Is the dichotomy really between being homesick and being more introverted? Does not one ride in tandem with the other? I may not be understanding your hypothesis. If being introverted is your true north and being home is what comforts you, are you content or upset about this? Wishing you clarity and peace. Happiest of new years to you!
I get what you are saying and the urge to find an answer. Your questions are valid and totally normal. Although, you might be over-thinking things a bit (coming from someone who has done a lot of over-thinking - it’s easier to see it in others and observe it more clearly… so thank you😂).
Anyway, my point is… what does it matter if you know why you feel the urge to go home when you do? If that is what you feel, just do it. I am 54 years old and if there is one thing I have learned over the years it’s that whenever I don’t follow my gut feeling, I suffer far more than when I do. Everyone needs different things at different times in their lives and in different amounts. There is no permanent behavioral solution to attain, because we are perpetually changing. The one thing we can rely on is our ‘gut feeling’, so if you get the urge to leave, then leave… do what your body is telling you to do and be comfortable with it. Don’t question it or doubt. Trust it. Own it.
All that aside, I really appreciate your channel and who you are, introvert-ish and all… so thank you for being you. Love your content. Thank you for being on YT. 💜🫶🏻
I have been homesick since my early 20's. I am now 76. My dreams take me home every so often. Sometimes I wake up smelling the eucalyptus trees.
I am 47 years old, and I understand you. As we get old, home is our safe place.
There is nothing wrong with you.
I stayed home most of the time, and I am happy. I am divorcee, but I enjoy to be alone, watch movies, you tube (like your Stray Kids reactions or I watch Stray Kids because I love them), Netflix, etc.
I hope you feel better. There is a lot of people that is questioning their lives, like I do or like you do.
God bless you!!!
I am going to pray for you!!
Hey @Roscoe, long time no speak. Firstly I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and secondly as someone who had 2 parents and a step parent who served in the military one way or another for 15 years, I have seen the longterm effects the training and forced kind of isolation can have and I found that there are very drastic differences in each of them from this but also commonalities too. These commonalities were varying degrees of what you mentioned, and my mum said that she believes it was because there was no real time to grow naturally into the "adult" mindset, you were just thrust into that role, plus sometimes basic training can be brutal in ways the CO's may not mean to it to be, which didn't help. I don't know if my rambling will give any insights but I hope it at least gives you some comfort to know you're not alone in the way you feel. 💜💜
I left my family in the UK to build a life in Australia over ten years ago. Aside from my children I haven't seen a blood relative of mine in that entire time. My husband is my family, and his family is also mine... but I have a constant feeling of being physically distant and emotionally absent for the family I was born into. I guess there's family, and there's family??
My plan for 2025 is to save up, event single cent I can so I can see them again. My parents are unwell, I see my sisters struggling and as I get older I'm more and more aware of how fragile everything is.
This morning I went and unsubscribed all my paid subscriptions - including yours - twitch, patreon - all of it. I'm putting my home first and that means for a while other things come lower down the list.
The homesickness is very real and something I think we feel more deeply as where we are physically distand and our age distances us further from places, people and times we wished we still had.
You are not alone in your homesickness.
My seat on the couch is temporarily surrendered to others more present so I can manage my own homesickness.
Enjoy your journey, be grateful each for each turn, and save me a cushion for when I'm back .
🛋💜
I hope that you get the chance to get home soon. I’m surrounded by family and I still constantly feel alone. I feel like I am an outsider in my own family and that I don’t belong. So I’m constantly trying to find a place.
hey! just gonna put some of my experience here and i'm in my early 30s for context. i spent my whole childhood living a relatively nomadic lifestyle (moved 10+ times before i was 30). despite not really having a concrete building as a home to go back to, i often attribute my feelings of homesickness to a strong desire to feel that sense of connection and being part of a group with people i love. when i become overwhelmed with homesickness, i usually end up driving to my brother's house and just existing in his home with his little family, feeling those connections strengthen again. it oftens relaxes me to the extent that i fall asleep on his couch a few hours after arriving. in my own home, i have the hardest time existing functionally when my partner isn't home for long chunks of time. my home is just a house when it's just me in it, i really rely on my people to be truly "home".
I think your feelings are true for many of us in middle age. We, as a nation, have dealt with some pretty significant tragedies: school shootings; terror attacks; a global pandemic. With the 24hr news cycle there is no escaping the harsh realities of our times. Whether it is a personal situation that you feel you don’t want to burden others with, or the weight of (inter)national tragedies that are too overwhelming, for many of us, especially those who are more introverted, it is easy to close yourself off in times of trouble. You are lucky enough to have found an outlet with the couch crew to reach out and connect with others.
I feel you, Roscoe. It's all the traumas from our childhood, Covid ( more depressed and anxiety surfaced for everyone) and the efter effects of Covid in the world. Thanks for your transparency and authenticity. I have developed anxiety and dealing with it. This had made me more introverted. Society expects me to be extro and I manage like you do but end of the day you know there is that imbalance within you. It's a struggle to get that harmony within. Therapy might help? Daily motivation and prayers needed. Take care and we will carry on.
Feel free to be the introvert if you are one. I'm one person in this huge society, not expecting you to be an Extrovert.
@ work requires me to be out of my shell. Unfortunately, most of us need to work . :)
I believe we become more inverted because we are "homesick". We get used to being alone and we learn to adapt we adjust to it so much so that we can't stand full on extroverted things. I'm also retired Army and while I was in I was extremely extraverted now I can barely go to the grocery store for 30 minutes without just wanting to get home. Hell it's gotten so bad that I rarely even go on dates because we'll quite frankly it's exhausting. Just know your not alone. My tolerance for stupid people is non existent. You are not alone. I find so much comfort in my solidarity or maybe it's just what I'm used too. You are not alone.
I think this is from the oracle (matrix), "one never sees past the answers they don't understand" or something like that. I am 60 and it seems as if I am perpetually waiting for life to change sharply or stay the same always, and it never does either. Hope that helps somehow, have a great new year!!
Congrats Roscoe, you have become grown up. I don’t mean that in a flip way. I was in my 40s, and still waiting to feel grown up. Then suddenly, baaam! I felt like an adult. But not just any adult, but an old adult. The body suddenly creaked and cracked, and the glasses, usually just used for reading, were on my face more often than not. I didn’t gradually age, I slammed into it, and still wonder how did I get here? I know I will never be called the life of the party again, and you know what? I am perfectly fine with that. I like going to bed early. I like quiet. I like calmness. I most importantly like knowing, that there are many things I do not have to worry about going through ever again. Life is good.❤❤❤
I would like it if you did more of these "fireside chats". You're very easy to listen to. As for perpetually homesick - my childhood home is gone, as are the neighborhood it sat in, and the entire small city that surrounded it. I've been deeply homesick for decades. But I can never go home again, not a trace of home exists.
I think it's both of those things. Getting older and personal experience. Not being able to be home, whether because of circumstances like being in the military or because you're young and don't have a say where you go does change you. When I was a kid my father insisted on going out every weekend and I remember constantly questioning why I had to go too and the response was basically always "because you go where your family goes". I remember that all I wanted was to just spend the weekend at home, in my bedroom, playing with my toys. I couldn't wait to turn 13 because at that age, I could be trusted to be home alone.
I was always introverted to begin with but now that I'm an adult, I can absolutely relate to hitting that wall and having something in my brain go "I want to go home", because now I *can* be. Now I *do* get a say. Even if I'm with people I love, even if I'm enjoying myself, there comes a time where I reach that mental limit. Sometimes I can push through, sometimes I can't.
I don't have any answers either but you're absolutely not alone in feeling this way, Roscoe 💖
I definitely, know how you feel on this. When I go out, I can wait to get home. Once I am home, I don't want to leave again. Like you I left home young (17). I enjoy times out with friends, but sometimes I am more excited to go home. Thank you for talking about it, and reading the comments you aren't alone.
I don't know if this will help, but as a 52 yr old woman. We all become more introvert through life. It's experience and none of us leave here without scars. Home sick, I would relate to your safe bubble. You're happy, safe and relaxed with your wife. That's amazing, and our safe bubbles are great! 😉
Hi Roscoe,
I understand your question, and I have read some responses to the question, "Are you perpertually homesick because of your time away from home while serving in the military?"
I am 58, and until now, I haven't even realized that what I have been feeling is "homesick". But what does it mean to even be homesick? To me, it is the feeling of being safe, comfortable, relaxed, doing what we want with who we want or with no one but ourselves. In the military, you were forced to serve for 4 years doing something that although it may have been exciting and new to begin with, that feeling wore off quickly and made you yearn for that "safe zone" made worse by the factor that you couldn't just walk away. Society is the same. We are taught and expected to work continuously for most of our adult lives, doing whatever we choose to do as young adults. The problem is that our desires and needs change, we change, and our need for change makes us feel homesick because we no longer feel satisfied with what we are doing. It is not serving us the same way it did when we decided to take that road.
Makes me think of RM when he sang the words "friends change, people change, everything change", maybe it is that time for you. It may be time for a change to fulfill your current needs and wants.
Perpetually homesick? maybe, if you can not find the certain something, that drive, that makes you feel excited.
More introverted as we grow older? Possibly just that you find contentment at home doing what you are doing.
Becoming homeless this year, after losing everything due to a layoff, I find myself very homesick. It seems to me a mixture of depression, anxiety, fear, and longing where I want to crawl in a hole and escape reality watching youtube all day.
Thank you for being a reactor who can help people like myself feel a little less homesick. BTS, ARMY, and reactors make me feel at home. I hope you find what it is that will make you feel less homesick.
-Litl D
big hugs. thank you for sharing.
I’m constantly blown away by the level of self insight you have Sir, and to offer my thoughts along with everyone’s, I’d say it’s perhaps a bit of both.
My childhood was incredibly unstable just for the fact we, along with most others around us in the 80s had little money, my husband’s on the other hand was exceptionally secure. Now he’s 54 and I’m 47 and we have both come to the collective conclusion that we just don’t want to have to ‘people’ very often. We actively enjoy returning home from having to ‘people’ for longer than 4 hours and no longer feel it necessary to do lots of ‘going out’ to gigs or such because we enjoy being comfortable and I just don’t have the patience for waiting in line to use the girls toilet.
Perhaps you just feel the call to return home more keenly because of your homesickness when you were in the military, almost as though your brain is luxuriating in being able to go home whenever and however you want to?
Anyway, that’s all my brain can muster up at 04:23am in the morning 🤣. Hugs to you, Gentleman of the sofa ♥️🕊
It’s that time in life when we start realizing how certain life events truly affected us…and yes a lot of it is trauma and it’s ok to name it as such and healthy to do so.
It’s can also also terrifying to realize just how much our lives and who we are have been shaped by those traumas.
You’re not alone in looking backwards in your life to find answers and reasons for who you are today and why you are feeling a certain way.
Longing for home…longing for your safe place…the place you can be yourself is a beautiful thing.
I hope we all have a least one place or person that we can call home. ❤
I appreciate you Roscoe and your willingness to be vulnerable. I’ve felt seen and encouraged many times while watching a reaction/video. 🙂
I feel, I respect your words. Im 28, had joined the cadet program at 12 years old left my home at 17 and partook and supported military servicing up until i was 25 (covid) and i often ask myself... why wasn't i like the other teenagers? Like the other young adults? The intro-extro in my conflicted.
I think its just the course of time. You starting adulting" at an early age, military at such a young age can do alot of things. So I think the homesick or the natural need to just be at home feels more accomodating. Maybe its related to stress or again you have to regroup and energise so getting home (or to your safe place) just feels naturally better.
I have no concrete answer for you, but i definitely know one thing is you are not alone. And i doubt we will ever find a real answer.
Hey Cap! I can relate to a lot of this because as I get older I feel like you do. I feel like I’m more introverted and I can’t wait to be in my comfort zone, HOME. As I am approaching 45 I come here to decompress and relax just so I can function and to figure out who I am now. I’m trying to figure out what’s my next move and since home is my Safety Zone, I constantly want to be here.
Roscoe thank you so much for sharing. You are so genuine, sincere and open, just like BTS. 2024 was not a good year for me. BTS and content creators like you always make me feel like you can get through things. When I'm down I listen to Mikokosmos... It's so soothing. When I doubt myself I listen to learning how to love myself. When I want to get hyped up I listen to Cyphers and UGH 🔥 Your channel is awesome and you are too! In the words of BTS The Best is Yet to Come. Happy New Year!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🎉
Hello, Roscoe. It is good to hear you and see you again. Thanks for sharing what you did with us. Are you more of an introvert as you get older? We often are, simply because in our 40s (as you are), most of us won't be seen jumping on a trampoline on the get go once we see one. That wouldn't be our immediate reaction. Ipso facto, we are creatures of familiarity. And that is comforting. Growing gracefully into an introvert also means treasuring life sometimes on one's own, appreciating the silence at times. It is good. As for being perpetually homesick, very many are actually in the same boat as you. Just as the word trauma depends on one's interpretation of it and its acceptance at various levels (until one is in 'trauma') - then feeling homesick can be various things to different people. You could be homesick for an apple pie you once had that brings back good memories, or homesick for a small town you were once in and the shops down that street, or just plopping into bed and being a little younger and carefree with no worries. Feeling 'perpetually' homesick is sometimes not currently being able to find 'home' and 'comfort', and yes, 'familiarity' at a certain point in time. Not that we are lost in any way. We have just hit a pause in our journey perhaps. Could also be our bodies telling us to stop running up that hill for a bit, and to slow down a tad...and clearly breathe, for as long as we want and need to. It is okay. The Koreans say "Gwenchana" to mean it's okay. So basically for me, i like being an introvert because it has its joys, too. And as humankind, we are always looking for our 'home'. And home can mean different things to different folks, which is totally fine. As an ARMY, our 'home' has always been Bangtan Sonyeondan 💜 (BTS) and its members. Like Jungkook doing his almost 3 hour WeVerse "live" recently where 20.2 million - yea - folks flocked to see, hear, meet, listen, and talk (in writing) to him. We missed him. He is our home, our comfort, our familiar face. And so are his brothers in the group. He wanted to be with us because he missed us, too. He said that plenty of times very honestly and sincerely. And yes, don't forget that it is indeed year end. And just before a brand new year begins....we tend to think of similar matters such as the ones you have. It is our journey together. You and us here on your channel, Roscoe. It's what we both needed - comfort, familiarity, HOME 🏡 ❤😊
Im perpetualy homesick from my teenage years... and im home all the time. So nostalgic for the joy of youth
Older, more introverted, guarded. I will say that in my forties, that all started. As I aged more, I would think about all of that too. I didn't discuss it with anyone because I thought it was just me. But as soon as I had one of my best friends say "I hate people now"...I knew it wasn't just me. I had also said the same words. So that opened a discussion about how we've changed as we've aged. It's a continuing conversation. The more people you talk to about it, the more you start to realize that you're not alone. In my opinion, and I'm sure others will agree, you gain so much knowledge about the world, emotions, etc., you just get tired of it sometimes. And you also get tired of trying to help younger people "learn" when they're going through something that you've been through and they just don't listen to you. They have to learn for themselves, just as we are. But it's nice to put little triggers in their minds for them in their future. Oh, and boy do you get tired easier lol. Even people that are healthy and work out get tired. About homesick. I think there are all kinds of homesick. Mine is felt mostly when I've traveled and I'm coming "home" on plane. I look out over my state and all I can feel is "I'm home". Same thing happens even if it's just from going out shopping or whatever. Like Dorothy says, "There's no place like home." It can be your country, state, county (yeah, I felt it seeing my county sign driving back from somewhere.), your street, your bedroom, your church. Whatever gives you that feeling. And I love that feeling because you just instantly relax. There's no limit as to how much you can love your "home", wherever it may be. Empaths have a harder time with questioning themselves like this because it makes us feel like we're being too emotional or whatever, but in the end, no matter what degree, I think we all feel it. I want you to know that it's o.k. and you are normal to question it. I'm an introvert and it's only gotten worse (or just cozier at home if you look at it differently), but you would never know I was that way when I worked with the public. It's o.k. to slow down a little, stop, look around. In all honestly, I will tell you that I've decided that my 50s have been my "f*** you" period. Or, as a more cultured person may say, "It's my selfish period.". I just wanted to think of myself for once in my life LOL. It's o.k. I deserve it. Much love & hugs to you. I hope my words helped a little bit. 💜💜💜
Oh God, I feel the exact same way. Every single day. And I haven't been away from home for more than a week, and that too thrice. All I've wanted during that time was to come back home. I yearn for it. Like something inside me feels suffocated when I'm away. Even at work, after 3-4 hours, I just want to escape. And the moment I get back home, it's like everything is fixed.
I've had a very similar experience to yours. 17 yrs old Marine. Homesick, to the point where hurt my heart. Don't get me wrong.I loved my experience in the Corps. It gave me strength in many ways. I am now 62, and what drove me to enlist and have the feelings I had and still have to some degree. Is to belong. To something, someone, someplace. All while being an extreme introvert. Weaving a cocoon that keeps getting thicker by the year. Until you brought this up. I never quite thought of the fact that because I left home at such an early age that I was in a pursuit for something I lost. I always thought that leaving home gave me that validation of achievement for being strong and determined. Look at me. Look what I did if I could get through this, that made me a stronger person. It didn't help that right after I got discharged. I lost my mom ( my only parental support) at 24. So you really got me reflecting on myself after this? Thank you
Maybe, just maybe our true home is that green meadow,that brook, or the large trees of the forest and we miss it so we curl into the quiet of our homes to find comfort as we age-
Beautifully worded. Thank you.
Hi Roscoe! Love and absolutely adore you!!! I’ll be 44 in March, I have always been introverted and a deep thinker my entire life! I’m a mom of 3 young adult children and a grandmother to a 4 year old granddaughter and my second on the way in April. I have always felt homesick, a longing for something missing? As I’ve gotten into my 40’s , I’ve been really stuck in my head, my heart…. Contemplating life, my mistakes, flaws… Always on the verge of tears 🤷🏻♀️
I think most people are sensing something off in the air / the world? I believe, as I’m a born again Christian, we’re longing to return to our Father in heaven….. there’s certainly been a heaviness on my heart 💜
Hi Roscoe, Im still a young adult, but when i was a little younger i did sport. I think, i can say that i did it professionally. So because of that I was not at home very often, but in training camp, and I always had that feeling that i want to go home. And now, every time when i fell that something isnt right, even if im at home at the moment, I have that thought. Its like, im standing at the kitchen and talking to someone and im saying to them that im tired and want to go home. Im not sure is it a same thing that you talked about, but its just the thought i had while watching your video.
Personally, I learned at a young age that home = safety. I am someone who is introverted and have had problems with anxiety for as long as I can remember, although it didn't get really bad until high school. My anxiety even made some of my college years almost impossible. There were days I would get ready for school, grab my stuff, and the moment I grabbed the door handle, I couldn't turn it. I couldn't leave my apartment and eventually needed to move back home. BTW, my field of study was vocal music. But as an introvert, I had a love/hate relationship with the stage. I loved to sing. I loved all different styles of music. I loved looking at the audience and knowing they were feeling exactly what I was trying to convey. I loved to feel the energy of the room. At the same time, I hated so many strangers looking at me. I had been singing since I was a child, and in my 3rd year of college, I needed to take a break from it. My other strength was giving speeches. It was something I did well all through high school, college and into my work years...but all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. I really never did parties unless it's close friends because it's so exhausting. Being around crowds of any kimd is exhausting, and all I'd want to do is return home. I'm still that way. Some days, I don't leave. Some days, I cancel plans.
As a military brat.. We are reprogrammed to not know what "home" feels like. So I really can't tell you if it's homesickness or be coming an introvert. I could say it's age, being 50 I know me I hate being out of the house longer than HAVE to be.
Happy Holidays everyone!
I thnk it's a mix of both, if I'm being honest. I'm 35, and even thinking back to my 20s, I can't fathom being out as much now as I was then. I was never home if I could help it, because home wasn't always the best place for me, emotionally. Once I had my own place to call home at 30, where it was okay to be myself without any sort of judgement or expectation, I wanted to be there as much as I could. And getting older is definitely an aspect of it too, because your circle of people who you can spend time with (without feeling drained by the end) gets smaller, and sometimes it's easier to stay home than it is to find one of them (or worse, spend time with people who do drain you).
I think another aspect is the fact that so much of our world can be carried with us, now. Entertainment is a swipe away, friends and family are a swipe away, comfort foods are a swipe away...But nothing can actually bring you that feeling of being home aside from actually being there. And that applies whether your idea of home is the physical place, or being with specific people, or just the safe and secure vibe you get from a specific situation. No technology can bring that to you, so it makes sense that you want to seek it out when you're away from it.
No matter what the reason, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be home, so long as it doesn't lead to you completely cutting off the outside world. As I like to remind my younger friends when they tease at me for being a homebody: "Of course I want to be home! I pay to be here, my stuff is here, and I control the guest list and the music!".
Hi Roscoe, of course I have no idea what it is in your case since our lives probably couldn’t be more different. I feel really similar although I’m only 27 and definitely have not experienced anything like the military. For me, I’m pretty sure, it really is just being introverted. I also feel like I wanna go home pretty quickly at any social event, even if I’m having fun. I just run out
Dear Roscoe, there could be several different factors.
- consciousness 1 - you observe your own reactions better, so you realize your feelings a clear way, and if you suppressed the soft urge to be at home earlier, now you let this voice be heard
- consciousness 2 - you observe the importance of the things better as you grow, and you realize that a lots of shit happening out there is not really important, and as you run out of time, you want to spend time only with the important things, and usually they are not outside but inside. Sorry for the "run out of time" expression, I am almost the same age as you, and half of my life is already behind me
- overpopulation - noise, too much stimulation - the world is not the same as 20 years ago, and from that much stimulation we can get tired easier. Nowadays you have to be alone at home to hear your own thoughts
- responsibility 1 - we can be ourselves at home (in lucky situation, with a good family), but if we are outside, we are responsible for every single move and word, and can be judged. After COVID, when we had years to spend at home freely, getting tired of following stupid rules of etiquette
- responsibility 2 - I am not sure you feel the same way, but I just want to go back to the time, when I don't have to be an adult, someone else carries the responsibility, they make decisions, plans what to eat for dinner etc.
49 years old and very much dislike leaving my house. When I do I want to get home soon as I can. I feel very tired when I leave.
I had a really toxic childhood; couldn't wait to leave home. Even then, there were a couple of times (at least during basic and AIT) that I missed being "home". As stressful as the military can be, I think anyone who's ever served has had at least one moment where it gets overwhelming and you want to go home. I'm not sure if that stems from being homesick or a desire to return to a familiar routine. Nostalgia, maybe... for me, at least. I'm probably not the best person to talk to; voted most shy in my graduating class (very introverted). It seems like this behavior intensifies as we get older, but is that really the case, or do we learn to be more cautious about how much time we spend with others? For me, there were so many times where I made the wrong choice about who or how much I should share myself, not just physically but emotionally. And I've probably gone and overshared. Let me just end this by saying that I hope you find something that helps.
(Found your channel when you reacted to Ateez vids..) I'm not sure if what you are ascribing as "home" may be family? I come from a particularly close-knit family of 5. Dad was in the AF, so moving around meant my sibs were my bfs. After a death in our fam, I starting reading a lot about grief. For those mentioning divorce, that is also a kind of loss certainly. Family and those closest to you growing have a knowledge of you, an understanding, that many around you today simply don't have. I think that's the most difficult part of getting older. The feeling of being misunderstood...
or rather knowing that those who once knew you best, you've lost.
I’m 54
I’m more introverted particularly post covid
I would also say I’m more nostalgic
I don’t live where I gre up and I think of my hometown
Can relate
Happy Holidays Roscoe
I've been homesick my whole life. I'm 64. I've lived in eight states (enjoyed most of them). Raised two daughters. Got divorced. I'm "home" for my daughters, and I want to be where they are, but I don't know where home is for myself. It sounds sad but it's not. It just is.
Hi, Roscoe :) Just letting you know this is Polly - if you remember me! I've just decided to change my handle name - what with the new year and all. I wrote a long-ish note to you just yesterday, in response to your sharing of thoughts here. I wondered if you might have thought it was me 😅. Me with the long-ish thoughts. Anyway, i love being here - it is actually quite calming. And love your thoughts on matters of similar interests in your reactions. And you make a lot of sense, too, in all good ways. That's why i'm here. Looking forward to the new year and what this channel brings. We'll be with you on your journey, too, Roscoe. Hope you pop up on the 1st of January so i can wish you on the first day of a brand new year! Take care, and thank you for the joys you brought this 2024! Salute!
I think you are suffering from adulthood. It's hard. It's ferking hard, and we just want to be as young as we feel. We want the safe place that we had when we were embraced by our family. Oh, I can't find the words any more than you can. Sending hugzzz and greetings from New Zealand 🇳🇿
Roscoe, hi.
I started following your channel recently, because I enjoy tremendously your comments on Stray Kids (I'm a fan). Today I was a little surprised by this video, in a good way. Let me try to send you some ideas to ponder on.
First, I am older than you, I'm turning sixty next 12th of January. So, I think about my age and my journey, as you do, perhaps a bit more, because I am starting to reach that period of life where you get not only older, but more frail. The body starts to fail you, you cannot do as much as you could when you were thirty or forty. You start to realize that most of your life has already been lived, and many of your dear ones have already left this world. You start to depend on your memories, your thoughts and experiences (your inner world) more than on the people around you. You also have a lot more to miss.
So, in my experience, I've reached a stage where I am quieter, inward-looking, observing more than acting. Don't get me wrong, I love people, I am a good cook, my husband and I love entertaining, but the dinner parties are getting smaller, we prefer sitting down for a good meal and a good chat over a good wine with one or two close friends at a time than having a group of people over for barbecue.
About your homesickness, I understand a little. My father was a military pilot in the Brazilian Air Force, so I grew up in different military bases, moving around, not spending more than two or three years in the same place. I have learned to adapt to any environment fast, but I have this sadness of not having roots. I was born in Rio de Janeiro, but I can't really call it my hometown, because I moved around so much. I do not have childhood friends, for the same reason. I think I feel I missed out on something special, every time I hear of friends who studied together since first grade all the way to high school.
My guess is that you feel like something precious was taken from you these four years. While I feel rootless, you feel uprooted. These life changing moments leave an inprint in our souls, and they do not fade. But you are not really an introvert, just someone with a big inner world, sensitive and intelligent, who likes to understand things. You are a thinker.
So good it is, to be able to follow your thoughts online. Best wishes from São Paulo, Brazil.
I Feel That Silence Is Deafening But Outside Is Frightening, To Even That Out It Should Be Comforting Or We Are All Withering♥️
Gracias por compartir como te sentis. Honestidad en su máxima expresión. No tengo una respuesta. Quizás muchas preguntas por pasar por el mismo sentimiento. Solo se que siempre quiero llegar a casa. Voy a leer atentamente los comentarios. Sabias que me hace bien escucharte? Seguramente a todos los que te seguimos. Un abrazo enorme y un especial cariño desde Argentina ❤
You left home because you were full of passion for proselytizing in a certain place. But maybe you weren't quite ready to leave the nest as much as you thought you were.
And maybe, despite your experiences in life, you still need that nest on a base level. Sounds like you need to nest...and there's nothing wrong with that!
I'm older than you and after years of child rearing as a single parent, and now taking care of my elderly.parent, my own empty nest is swiftly approaching and I too find myself at a loss.
Maybe ask your famiky, or those who knew you then, what they thought of you when you left at 17.
(Sorry for the spellinf, it's after midnight and I'm fumble-fingered on thw phone)
I have had this feeling in my chest that I think is loneliness, for most of my life. I have this need to go home but it doesn't exist anymore, if it ever did. I've been essentially independent since I was 14 (I'm 37 now) and I hope to one day figure out what 'home' is for me.
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Omg, I didn't expect that 😢
Roscoe, I hope the end of 2024 and the start of 2025 treat you and your loves ones well. As for your question... Thinking back on your teenage years, what part of you did you have to leave behind or suppress when you joined the military? The way you phrased what you were saying sounded like what you were missing was deep and caring connection with a trusted group (family? friends?).... and the self-direction to choose where to direct your energies. Hehehe...has the couch crew spoilt you a bit by creating a community (safe zone?) that's too much fun to be away from? Is it introversion? or contentment?
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Hmmmm 🤔 Now this is an interesting thought. I’m going to have to think about this one because are you homesick for your current home or for your home while you were young?
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Rocoe i
Sometimes the hart takes the long way home and it's ok
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Hey papi ❤❤
I feel you
Does he dp bts still
Yes, he does. Borahae 💜💜💜
You need therapy, and it will help, ❤
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I felt like that during my 20s. I was trying to get teaching jobs, but I could only get them out of state. So I made the move, then felt homesick, failed at teaching, came back (I repeated this a couple times). Now I'm at a community college near me and living at home. Best of both. I recently started playing piano on youtube to expand my horizons. I'm still learning though. If you'd like to listen, I recommend jimin's serendipity cover ruclips.net/video/tyiMvzJ5U7I/видео.htmlsi=aw10bqznaMyC9f9j Thanks! Good luck to everyone else too!!