I Don't Know Whether to Laugh or Cry
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Pokies are horrible, if you'd prefer some slightly more serious content on them try our video: • Stop Playing Pokies......
Or [B͝LO͟C͘K̶ED ́I͞N̡ A̕U͘S͝T̀R̛A̴L͢I͝A] • the legal way to take ...
Or the time the pokies lobby tried to get me thrown in prison: • Why I Might Go To Prison
Or the time I went with Boy Boy to launder money: • How Much Money Can We ...
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I.T Workers. We're doing you next. Put your stories in the replies here and we'll collect them tomorrow morning to film. Dumb problems you had to solve, dodgy stuff left on broken computers, you name it. WE NEED TO KNOW.
The shorter and sweeter your story is, the higher chance it has of being included. If they are TOO good though, we can't resist long stories. Try your luck.
I once worked in an office building as an IT person (working for the building not the tenants), and I once had this guy who worked for a call center inside the building right? and every day he brought in this gaming equipment and it was always immaculate as hell, clean keyboard build, rgb mouse, stuff like that. One day he comes to my office with equipment definitely from home DRENCHED in earwax. Horrid. There was yellow gross stuff all underneath the keys, and this thing fucking REEKS of piss, to which I inquire to him, why does this smell like piss? he says "cat" and walks away. I threw the keyboard out.
During the summers of highschool, I worked at a local computer consulting/IT company. One time we were trying to change settings on the phone lines, and accidentally turned on the tornado alarm. While trying to figure out how to turn it off, we accidentally triggered the fire alarm as well. Why were these linked to the phone system? I have no clue but my ears killed
I reckon everyone from IT has had one of these, I had a call out to a very sweet old lady in her late 60's that, to paraphrase, "couldn't for the life of her get into her email". I sat down and noticed the machine and monitor wasn't running, I asked if she remembers any storms or anything just before the "emails stopped working" she said she didn't remember because she had been on holidays, I then noticed the thing was turned off at the wall... flipped the switch, on it went, I was self employed at the time so thankfully was able to refuse payment from her. I did get a lot of work from her family after that though.
Oh god, yes! My time to shine. With nearly 20 years of IT experience, I've got tons of stories. But I think this one is special enough that I have to share it.
I worked for a small IT team as part of a mining & construction company here in Australia, one of the perks of the job, was everyone and I mean everyone got an IPhone. I have to stress, EVERYONE.
To keep track of all these IPhones and manage them, we all had them setup and linked to a company I-Cloud account, fairly innocent.
Well, one fateful day, I arrived to the office to see a conga line of angry, disgusted and embarrassed folks going around the corner, all with their IPhones in hand.
With the first person I greeted, showing me their IPhone and screaming at me
"WHO'S D**K IS THIS?"
Turns out this was the day that ICloud had enabled the option for photos/videos on IPhones to be shared to all other IPhones within the same I-Cloud account.
Well, everyone that used their company IPhone to take d**k/boob/turd or other "private" photos were now being shared around the ENTIRE COMPANY.
Remember, how I said we were a small IT team? I was the only one in the IT dept for the first 2 hours of the day, for 300+ locals and supporting the field sites of 1000+....and seeing the surprise d**k and boob pics
It made all future team meetings super awkward...=\
Old Guys (over 50's) handing their laptops in for repair and saying "I really need my files. Really really need them", however they also question if we would actually go through their files, which is a red flag. They are very adamant we "just" recover the data but don't look at the contents of them because it's confidential / personal.
As this is a sure fire way to get IT guys to go through all your shit, I looked, then called the cops afterwards because of the images / videos, and in one case, their fucking desktop background.
I honestly think getting oldies into gaming, like actual video games, would be the best way to get them out of this.
There's plenty of video games where you can even gamble fake money, would be far less harmful for them & others.
Just get them to play a looter shooter like destiny/borderlands. They can get lucky and get there good shit haha
Come on gran! It’s only five more bucks, don’t you want that CSGO knife skin?
Hell no, do you think micro transactions are better?
What's the difference lol
As a former pub security guard I worked in hundreds of pokie rooms - they were all disgusting - my eye raiser was the licensee who, when a user was falling asleep at the machine, would take their hand and place it on the play button back in the day when you could just keep your finger on the button and it would keep playing - twice in 20 years I saw staff in a pokie room apply RCG to users and both times the staff were "moved on" - I saw a guy win $16000 and his reaction was like someone had smeared shit under his nose and you could tell he'd only won back a mere fraction of what he spent - loan sharks operating with impunity in registered clubs and being on first name basis with management and directors of the club
Do have to wonder why they all haven't been burnt to the ground given the general volatility of all the greasy bastards working the joints.
@TheBlindBunker Handing out the little gambling warning cards in the first case and asking if a user who had been there for about 10 hours if they needed a break - all taught as part of RCG - both users complained to management and both staff mysteriously disappeared off the roster - both instances were at pubs
What does RCG mean?
@Lunethex Responsible Conduct of Gaming - you are not allowed to work in a gaming room without it - it is similar to RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol) in that it is designed to alert staff to problem gamblers and how they are supposed to respond
@@Lunethex responsible conduct of gambling
I’m a gaming attendant at a casino and I’ve had a guy standing in front of me crying with a great northern original in his hand, telling me he doesn’t understand why his Mrs took the kids.
It was 3am. On a Tuesday. I told him it might have a bit to do with that
Jesus Christ
Darwinite?
@@balung Just moved to Townsville from Darwin about 6 months ago, it’s INSANE in the Territory, Jordan could do a whole video on the whole territory
@@etherealtide yeah he should do a video on the state the northern Territory 😂
Tbf if you feel there's other people in your life who you understand and who understand you then you're not getting the full gambling addiction experience.
Three stories that stand out to me from working in the pokies for the last 8 years:
1. A local RSL about 10 minutes away from the pub I worked at had a patron suffer from a heart attack and die in the pokies. The RSL closed, and all the people that were playing just got up and went to other pubs in the area. Had a few of those patrons come into my work COMPLAINING about the RSL closing, and others telling me how when the person collapsed off their chair having a heart attack the people around them just kept playing
2. This actually happened 3 times (to 3 separate people). All 3 of them were addicts (I'm assuming GHB usage by their behaviours), and all 3 of them passed out while standing up playing the machine, faceplanted into the machine causing them to wake up, and then continued playing
3. Had a couple (or what I presume was a couple, could've been father and daughter because the age gap was like 20-30 years) playing the pokies, except they kept alternating who was in the venue for x amount of time. One would play for 15-30 minutes, then leave and the other would come and play. Got kind of suspicious, so checked the cameras to see what they were doing. They were taking turns babysitting 2 kids (probably 5-7 years old) in the fucking car...
That last one fucked me up.
Those poor kids.
@@Bloosjen The couple/father daughter (whatever the hell they were) became regular customers and I could never look at them the same again
@@Bloosjen Yeah no that child is screwed.
They sound like wonderful parents based on what I've seen. Alice Springs, 45 degree heat with windows cracked for toddlers. Parents would have stayed for hours if security didn't perform regular carpark checks.
You know I’ve heard worse for that last one. At least they bothered to babysit
My last ever phone call in a ISP helpdesk, I answered it, in my completely normal English kiwi accent and the customer opened with "At last someone who speaks English" and then went a 10 minute racist tirade about immigrants pulling out every racist anti immigrant stereotype f*ckwit idea you could think of. He kept singling out my Indian colleagues who'd answered the first 15 times he called. After he finally caught his breath, he apologised for being PASSIONATE ABOUT NZ and asked me what my name was. When I told him it was Raj, he hung up.
bloody hell
iconic XD
I had no patience for that and I'm glad I had a great boss because my fuse was short on this matter.
I was the one hunging up.
Some of those bastards are so racist man they would just TALK.
Cuz they never fkin track or prosecute the dirty harassment etc. retailers or whoever runs the cs won't try to ban them from calling or anything no matter what they do
LMFAOOOOOO thats amazing keep wasting those old whitd dudes time 😂😂
I recall I was chilling with some mates at the TAB, mooching the free WiFi and coffee, when two men ran past us yelling. Turns out the latter of the men had a machete and proceeded to chop at the other.
Security quickly calmed the attacker down and walked him out to the front to wait for the cops, quite casually I might add, they didn't even take the machete away. The guy that was chopped was understandably pissed off and was pacing around talking shit about the guy who attacked him while getting blood everywhere despite attempts of the staff to get him to sit down.
While all of this was happening, the oldies sitting at the pokies, only about 2 meters away, didn't even stop to look up
reminds me of the "city bugperson" meme that's been going around online for years now. that thing where people in cities tend to behave like insects, horrific things happen and people go about their business as if it's not occurring.
@@damson3413 it's called the Bystander Effect and it has nothing to do with how urbanised somewhere is. People are inherently selfish & craven.
Had an elderly customer we used to call Porno Pete who would come in to regularly get malware removed from his laptop and scrub his internet history. The first time he came in he said "funny things" would come up when he googled things. To demonstrate the issue he started to blatantly type the phrase "brother sister shower" into the search bar, in front of staff and other customers in the store. I had to quickly shut the laptop and told him to come back in an hour. I used to keep a bottle of hand sanitzer nearby for when he'd visit ... but it doesn't work on memories...
hand sanitizer ? You need gloves an autoclave and a decontamination shower
I mean if you drink it it might help with the memories
It has alcohol right? /s
Jesus almighty suffering fuck...
This is just Herbert the pervert from family guy but in real life and is the Bain of the IT industry
Actually the hand sanitizer does work on memories if you drink it
Worked in a Pokie room for 4 years and that story about the water hazard and the gamblers still hitting is so relatable. We would do fire training every 6 months and the presenters would always say that while as fire marshalls we had an obligation to evacuate everyone (if safe to do so), we weren't obligated to die for the gamblers and that if they aren't listening to us leave them for the firies or let them burn... Shit you not, every time we did a fire drill, none of the people playing the pokies would move unless we shut the machines off, they would sit there hitting while the sirens are blaring blatantly ignoring us... different creatures they are.
I wonder if it would be possible to connect the pokies to the alarm so they shut off if it gets tripped.
Just setting a little warning up top the story I'd like to share might gross some folks out.
Something about the :) is just fucking hilarious
How bored do you have to be to do something like that? Why not hack into the Pentagon?
@@gingermcgingin4106Pentagon is much better defended and will come after you for trying. A video game company doesn't care that much, so they're much better for practicing against.
Man pokies are just pure evil. I remember at my first job me and a lot of the crew would go to this local pub at the end of a shift for beers, pool and maybe a slap on the pokies. I only ever played low stakes and it was weird at the start I won a lot it got to the point where I was probably about 700-800 dollars in the positive.
Then I started losing a lot, what struck me was that I started placing larger spins doing 5 dollar bets instead of 10c bets. I think in my brain it was a way to recoup losses faster but it just made me burn through money.
Got the point where I had lost the majority of what I had won and after that I decided to stay away from gambling. At least I got out having won a little bit of money but I see how people can get sucked in so easily.
I was installing some TV screens in a pokies room once and we had an area cordoned off for us to work yet people would come up and literally shake the ladder my workmate was on to move him out of the way to use the machine they wanted. Nearly knocking him off the top of the ladder
My lord
They're brainless animals, it's like heroin
Yeah don't fuck with superstitious bogans
Another great zombie reenactment.
I used to work at a major university as a network engineer. Universities don't filter out much besides malware etc. because academia needs to be able to research things. Anyway, sometimes when bored we would log in to the firewall and look at web traffic to sites classified as 'Adult'. Their IP address could then be very easily (often automatically) linked back to their name and location on campus. A bit creepy, but also don't watch porn at work/school (it violates the AUP). The amount of people watching porn at Uni is insane. Professors in their offices, students in the computer labs, libraries, all over the place. Some of them with some quite abstract tastes. At one time one of my colleagues even built a dashboard that would use our logging to chart the most popular adult content on campus over a given time period.
That is wonderful and hilarious!
I knew it. I knew you cunts were spying on me
Which type of content won? I’m morbidly curious
Had a good mate with schizophrenia lose his mind over the pokies due to a bad addiction, ended up committing suicide, this was also a bloke who never touched and absolutely hated tobacco, alcohol and illegal narcotics
I’m sorry to hear that. ❤
May he rest well, i'm in a sorry fucking state right now and if i had any worse addictions than media consumption and gluttony i would ABSOLUTELY be dead right now
@@lambsauce5312 hang in there.
sounds like he should've chose to become addicted to heroin instead, still be alive right now likely
That’s really sad
I hope you do warehouse workers at some point. As a Home Depot employee, I get a tiny peek into their world and I'm scared of what I see
I'm a storeman/warehouse manager, and I got some stories
long story short I saw a guy almost lose his hand, then as the boss rushed him out to drive him to hospital (no time to wait for ambos it was arterial spray) I was given his job and the still blood stained machinery...
Truck drivers too! Man they have some cool rigs there plus driving the outback must be something else.
Oh yeah I got some warehouse stories
Not an I.T guy, but this is about my high school I.T teacher, Mr. Faulklan. He would have been early 30s midlife-crisis-hipster-looking with a beard and curly hair and beer gut. He was AWFUL at teaching and controlling any class he had. The head of the I.T/Library began sitting in during class just to make sure we did our work instead of playing LAN/flash games.
One day he didn’t show up and nor did the head of I.T, so some of us just left and did our own thing during the period. Me and a mate were sitting in the quad next to the canteen, and we see Mr Faulklan just rampage jackson open the flimsy canteen door coming outside to the quad without warning tearing it to shreds screaming “you can’t stop me, you can’t catch me” as he sprinted, arms in front like superman, towards the staff carpark.
Turns out he got caught drinking by another teacher (who was in early stages pregnancy) and there was empty and unopened alcohol found everywhere in his desk space. Apparently he offered her alcohol in exchange for her silence, which obviously didn’t work. I don’t see my old mate much anymore, but every time I have we always bring this story up lmao
Secondary High School IT teachers are up there with P.E Teachers.
I did training to be a blackjack dealer at crown, and we would go onto the gaming floor at about 6am, and you'd see the oldies on the pokies already, and they had they member cards on old telephone cord style strap things, connected to their shirts one end and just jammed into the pokie machine on the other end, so they didn't even have to press the buttons anymore. It looked like they were just jacked into the system.
Omg that's dark
I worked in IT at a school several years ago, one kid once brought in his iPad stating the touch screen had stopped working. He had decided to crack the glass on the screen and tear it off the night before with a flat head screw driver. Another kid had ants make a nest in his laptop due to food scraps. Also shout out to the kid who decided to pour vanilla yogurt into his CD drive.
it wasn't yoghurt.
@@LegionRabbit Like the Dreamcast kid
The kid should've let the ants have it. Let the laptop become its own ecosystem.
Had worked in pokies for about 5-6 years at 3 venues. here are some of my best/worst stories:
- A woman went into labour while playing the machine. She was with her husband when she was at the hotel playing the pokies. Because we were near a hospital, the woman just walked to the emergency room. In the meantime, the husband stayed back and played her machine, thinking its 'lucky'. We kicked him out and hes never allowed back again. This happened about 2 months ago
- Dealt with TWO people dying at the venue; one from a heart attack after winning $5,500 on a feature, and the other in the toilets from a heroin overdose. When the paramedics came to revive the heart attack guy, they literally threw the surrounding patrons off their chairs because they wouldn't move, including an 85-year-old lady. These ambos don't give a shit when it comes to everyone else
- On multiple occasions found knives, machetes etc. behind the toilets and in other nooks and crannies in the hotels. One of which i found was a baseball bat with screws and nails protruding from it behind a TAB machine, later found out it belonged to a guy who attempted to rob another pokies in the area
- A homeless woman tried to live in the disabled toilets. An entire police force had to kick down the door and drag her out because she would not leave. Toilets smelled like hobo for about 7-8 weeks after that
- Guy pissed in coin cup. Coworker caught the guy. Coworker dumped piss cup on guys head. Coworker deemed a fucking legend after that, and also lost his job too
- (At a friend's work) someone stole the RSL courtesy bus at knifepoint and went on a vehicular rampage. They found the bus the next day burnt out in a field 20k's away
My last day working in pokies was yesterday btw. Never again will i step foot in one of those hotels
That coworker is a fucking legend, should have gotten a promotion!
For -2 if I were to take a guess the ambos have enough experience to know that unless they shove players off their pokies, they otherwise wouldn't move.
You should do a teacher confessions video - you see some crazy things as a teacher and I know that teachers have the most hilarious stories
OMG that’s a great idea
Guessing you arent gonna get a heap of 'positive' IT stories so figured i'd share one - Was working at he Governor General's residence in Canberra on a site install back in the day, was working with the consultant that made the sale for the company that provided the hardware. Started getting later so and we got hungry - my sister was doing some uni challenge to get pizza delivered to the weirdest place so i HAD to one up her. So of course we ordered pizza.
The thing about the GG's residence is its kinda unique, its on a wooded peninsula, with a literally 2km driveway, enormous fences, mechanised gates and 2 security checkpoints with armed Federal guards. By the time the poor guy got to us he was about as white as a sheet, he probably started his drive thinking it was a prank order, but here he was delivering pizza in the pitch dark to 2 guys in dark suits behind the GG's house. I imagine he still thinks he delivered pizza to some sort of secret service lol.
I️ work at a Starbucks that’s technically in federal property the Uber drivers always get scared :/
Gambling addiction is such an interesting thing, You are only throwing away money with the hope of making more and you do it again and again.
For me it's like the claw machines I played as a kid. The chance of winning something is overwhelming and fk it gives me an adrenaline boost when I get a feature 😂
Plus you just gotta hit that one. And it's cool.
It's also rather sad. Gambling addiction is known to be one of the worst addictions you can have. 20% of people who suffer from gambling addictions kill themselves in the end. It's also financially ruining, and it fries your dopamine receptors. So even if you win, you'll just lose it all again, because your brain is so fucked up it can't function without playing.
It’s all about the dopamine hit
I don’t mind that poor desperate pinching the dead guys money from the machine as much as the thought of the leech of a premises keeping it.
IT professional here. In a previous company I had visibility over what were called "sentinel events" - a category of clinical incidnets that, being so terrible in nature, were the top level incident that could occur (fun fact: the UK calls them 'never events' because they don't ever want them to happen, but it just ends up sounding poofy and UK-ish). Anyway, these incidents included things like babies discharged to the incorrect parents; amputations on the incorrect liombs; surgery performed on the wrong body part eg left vs right kidney. Anyway, from what I saw in these incident reports, be they public or private, the main contributing factor as to why they happened was to staff fatigue. We ask so much of our health professionals that they literally get so tired that they fuck up, and they get held accountable instead of the machines that force them into such arduous working conditions.
I've had horrible luck with coworkers in IT so i guess prepare yourself:
First one:
After voluntarily leaving of her own volition, one of my old coworkers actively used the information she had about the company's inner workings as an IT professional not only to spy on us after she left, but also to brag about what she was doing on her socials. Best part was that when she left, she left a link to her website, which had all of her socials, so we were seeing directly what she was doing and all the shit talking she said about us. Bossman got most the flack for no reason and let's just say he gave a real good reference after someone called up talking about her.
Second one:
As new guy's being on-boarded after ol' mate from before left, this guy is constantly asking for help - no problem. This one time though, I was on my day off and he asked if i could help him out with something. I go "ah yeah, i'll have to remote in, let's call and i can handle it". Eventually I need to use his web browser and after pulling up a random window from the task bar, i managed to luckily select his porn window he had open for who the fuck knows how long. I pretend like i didn't see anything and sit next to him everyday thinking what the fuck is he doing in our shared office when i'm not around. Funniest part is a few months before he came on, everyone had to sign a "NO PORN AT WORK" agreement because the same thing happened with my boss :')
I just want someone fucking normal man, like please
(might wanna anonimise me here i think both these people watch jordies lmao)
I call BS on the porn on the work computers. You're in IT. Of course you can block those sites.
@@SauronsEye company is small and we just operate on trust lmao, you try block one and people will end up going to other ones
@@_ramar
Plus, even if you do ban all the common sites, the places they’d go next are about 10% porn and 90% Malware.
Not necessarily. When I was in junior high, it wasn't uncommon for kids to easily find porn through Google, yet shit like the New York Times and Wikipedia were blocked at various points.
Re: Sensitivity training and pissing yourself laughing, it's exactly the same for people who work in the funeral industry. We see/hear fucked up or straight soul crushing shit and you have to laugh or your brain just starts melting out your eye sockets
Gambling story: I worked in payday lending and we got to see peoples bank statements as part of the job.
One guy came into about $100,000, blew a lot of it on gambling, got a win (I guess) of $50,000, kept going, lost the lot, then applied for a $1000 loan.
All in 2 months.
Edit: payday lending is a criminally parasitic industry and needs to be illegal. About 30% of our customers were gambling addicts btw.
Yes, pay day lenders are bastards. They closed the one near me, here in Darwin, because they were tipping off the Indigenous Mob.
@@balung Good to hear.
Not personally an IT worker, but I've heard enough _"I got rid of the box and now my computer won't work"_ stories to keep me from ever getting into IT.
I was a helpdesk for 3 years and all I gotta say is "Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!"
PC's come in boxes now? What is it, dial a pc?
@@themudpit621 For clarity, the concerningly numerous stories have people throwing away the "box," aka tower, because they think that the computer _is_ the monitor.
Yep. Worked in IT for 12 years. The corporate ones were the scariest. Even got cheeky enough to use the PICNIC acronym on the invoices and they never even asked. For those not in the game, PICNIC stands for Problem In Customer, Not In Computer. I once drove for over an hour to a job that I solved by pushing the plug back into the power socket, and this was AFTER I'd suggested they check that BEFORE I drove there. This was a high falutin accounts manager who was in charge of millions of dollars of clients money. Needless to say I did not invest with that company. They were bad payers too.
I'm out of the game now and I don't miss it one tiny bit.
@@woopimagpie We used PEBCAK - Problem exists between chair and keyboard
Back in my early 20's, I was working as an electrician's assistant for a guy that primarily worked in pokie machine repairs. A lot of the job was pretty tedious and uncomfortable, such as running cable through the false ceilings, or in the crawl spaces under the floorboards. But by far, the worst part of the job was some of the sadder punters. I'll never forget one time when we were servicing a country RSL in the western boondocks of South-East QLD. We just needed to update a bank of machines (3-4 linked machines, all connected to one giant plasma TV); but we were doing it on pension day. We had this one old bitty who came back every 5-10 minutes, inquiring when she could get back on "her machine". She was just so dead-eyed, and defeated; and was clearly just jonesing for it. It was just getting more and more heartbreaking every time she came back. That's what finally broke me, I had to quit the next week.
Worked in a drive through bottle shop in Bathurst, there were a few regulars who I got to know over time. One Bloke would come in and order a ‘happyaid’ which was just a 300ml bottle of vodka and orange poweraid. You could tell how many times he’d been in over the course of a day by how many orange poweraids had been taken out of the fridge. Anyway one day he came in for a happyaid and said “check this out”, he reached into his backpack and plonked a HUMAN SKULL on the counter, he refused to elaborate where he had found it and placed it, and his happyaid back in his backpack and left…
Warehouses would be a good one. They tend to attract the "less socially adept" of the human species
As someone who's done warehouse work have you considered that maybe you're a cunt?
As a kid I was playing an MMO that had a poker minigame in it. That woke something in me. Even at ten years old, I could tell that was the sign of a budding gambling addiction. I've got ADHD which makes me extra susceptible to addicting design. Casino's are scum. They're preying not just on those who choose to be there, but on those who have literal disabilities that render them susceptible to their tactics.
In my case, my weird emotional maturity at ten years old meant that I recognised that budding gambling addiction for what it was and I've avoided gambling like the plague ever since. But you can't expect everyone in the world to be fucking addiction rain man and be able to spot that coming.
Despite knowing where a casino near me is and being gambling age, I gave my first shot at slots in grand theft auto, lost all the coins I'd paid in, and decided to quit before it could get it's hooks in me 💀
@@Bonavireit seems like we should give every child a fake slot account, make them spent everything and then they will never start again lmao
Adhd here too and my addiction to arcade machines in the late 2000s informed me to never ever touch a GACHA game, ever.
In app purchases and random lottery rewards… that shit is the devil
I thought it's worth saying I legitimately referenced the Boy Boy video in a university assignment I did on money laundering and terrorist funding.
That’s actually really valid cuz it’s a real issue. Good job mate
I worked in a pub in NZ. There was always a pokie rush on Thursdays (dole day) and when the little jackpot ticket got close to the $1000 jackpot. We would pull a good 20k out of those machines on those days. All from desperate folk. The worst thing is that the jackpot was almost always won by a random (not desperate regular) with a $2 coin.
The heartbreak was palpable.
Not a gambler, but was on a lunch break with some colleagues who were addicted to the pokies. They told me to give it a shot, and after the first spin, I won the jackpot of $970. These guys were so hyped, and were telling me I should put in hundreds more and keep playing!? Addiction is crazy, I walked away with my winnings and haven't touched a machine since
Another story I love to tell is: One of my coworkers used to work at a fairly local computer repair store. He had a guy in his early 20's come in with a "water damaged desktop" and he had asked him to explain how it was water damaged so he knew what to save and how to clean it. The guy explained that "Oh yeah mate... I um... got really hammered one night and decided to see if I could piss in my computer and if it would still work" which of course... it didn't... his boss overheard and once the guy left told him he needed to clean it and he would get paid some overtime for it if he did. So he had to disassemble the computer, clean the CRYSTALISED piss from all the parts, fix it and returned it to the guy. Story over right?..
Nope. Dude came back the NEXT week and said his computer was acting up, a few questions were asked and turns out HE PISSED IT IN AGAIN.... This time the whole thing had about 5cm's of piss in the bottom (which is mildly impressive he was able to keep it in there while transporting it to the store).. Customer was told not to come back and to stop getting hammered and testing his computers limits...
Every now and then, after hearing about horrible environmental destruction, I happily return to the KFC confessions video to hear about the lucky tender again. All my emotional needs in one channel. Brilliant.
As a West Aussie, we have SmartRiders, so our transport tap on/tap off cards are clearly better than everyone elses because we have the word smart in them XD
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!
@@LimitedCheetah it is important to sing that out loud everytime we get on a bus or train
And we’ve had it for what 17 years
Yeah but in Brisbane we have GO cards so obviously we can actually go places, unlike in WA 😂
What! That's an odd name. I'd have called it Chaswassa.
As a dumb, uncultured American, I greatly appreciated the service announcement. Thank you.
Edit: Btw I've been subbed for a while. Not just since you hit the news. Some random vid of you building a warhammer figure popped up in my feed and I've been subbed since, and i don't even play warhammer.
Worked in a gaming room in my town after I left the army. Had a regular who had a heart attack and died sitting at the pokies, had 1500 bucks on his machine. The GM took the money and pocketed it, that was 20 years ago and still makes me sick.
And I bet that GM raised a glass on Anzac Day because he's a true blue honest injun cobber.
I think it’s pretty telling you were in the army but the thing that made you sick was what you witnessed in a police room after you left
How do you sleep at night after doing that
I used to run a free laptop clinic for old folks at my community theatre, this guy wanted help making space for what he called ‘family photos’
I scrolled through and accidentally opened one of the folders and I had to call the police, it was loaded with pornography… of a let’s say child-ish nature
He used to work at one of the schools in my area :/
He got a slap on the wrist. 10/10 justice system
Yeah, I had a similar discovery, police didn't even bother to ask for a statement or evidence for 9 months
Something that's just as bad as pokies but talked about much less, is mobile/online pokies.
My mom had a gambling addiction, and blacklisted herself from all the casinos in our province so she couldn't go use the slot machines even if she wanted to. My family all thought this was the end of her addiction.
She passed away a couple months ago, and going through her bank statements I found that she was spending over $10k a month on mobile pokies apps for the last few months.
These new Internet casinos are SO BAD here esp in poor areas. FB is rife with them… & most physical machines here in my city you can leave & continue playing the ones connected to the Internet on your phone… In Texas gaming is still illegal but in Houston they were at most gas stations & they often had private rooms. They would have signs stating they only paid in food items but you just took your ticket to the convenience store clerk & he paid you. Yet they all then & here have like a $20 minimum to cash out. The private rooms in Houston, someone had to take you… in South Texas they are in every shopping center, constantly being robbed, some are in plain site but some are completely hidden. They say that LE is in on them which is why they operate 24/7 everywhere despite being illegal. However, every few months there’s a big bust that’s televised & put in the paper that highlights that not only fine the owners & employees huge amounts, they confiscate machines & ALSO fine the patrons … it doesn’t make a lot of sense but RIGHT NOW here it’s like the lawless, wild west bc unlike Indian casinos, Las Vegas or Atlantic City - or Riverboats in tons of states that don’t move/are docked - those are all under scrutiny, checked for odds, have a person that checks the machines who isn’t associated with a casino - these new local clubs everywhere don’t have any accountability or regulation. Oh & the odds are insane. Like at a real casino on a video poker machine, if you win a royal flush on a quarter machine playing max credits - it pays $1k anywhere EXCEPT these unregulated places opening everywhere. At those the same Royal Flush might pay $100. It’s terrible.
It’s crazy how the battle keeps morphing since they’ve not legalized them at the state level. Where I live people are glued to their phones all playing these ‘local’ casino extensions… they all use cashapp. Don’t know if that only here or if it’s international. I’ll see people get a $20, walk to the corner store, add $ to their cards…
They did legalize scratch off tickets & paper lottery here like 30 years ago. Even that you’ll see ppl go buy a huge stack & they can’t even walk out of the store bc they are too busy not even playing the game - just uncovering the bar code so the clerk can scan the tickets.
When's the Games Workshop / Warhammer workers confess their sins
My first week working pokies back in the day, I bought this ancient but jolly old guy a payout of around $900. He took out $50, handed it to me and said, "You're my good luck charm, take this and put it in your bra." I tried to tell him it wasn't necessary, but he shoved it in to my hands saying, "no, I need the luck, put it in your bra." Hesitantly I took it, thanked him profusely, started to walk away and he bellowed, "PUT IT IN YOUR BRA!" I awkwardly tucked it into the top of my bra strap and he hurrumphed approvingly then started feeding his win back into the machines. That was a weird first week.
A year or so later a little old nan asked me if I could cash out a machine that had $75 on it, she wanted to play it but it had been there with cash on it for 30mins and she didn't want to touch it. I popped a hold on it and told her I'd come back in ten and cash it out if they weren't back and put the cash inside the cash box to hold. 10 mins later the patron wasn't back so I cashed out, gave the machine to the nan. An hour later we heard a huge bellow - I ran over and this big absolutely HAMMERED bloke I recognised as a mate of the club directors was screaming at this little old lady and calling her a thief. He was starting to get physical and I had to get between him and the old lady yelling at him that I'd saved his cash and nan had even kept an eye on it for him to make sure no one stole it even though he'd abandoned his machine for 2 hours to get smashed. Security soon arrived and we got him calmed, gave him his cash. I wanted him chucked out for terrifying the old lady but he was well-connected so no one would touch him - when I left at 11 he was still there gambling and barely conscious.
Did the first guy win more?
One of my professors told us this story about his first day at his internship for a port authority doing IT stuff. He shows up and the older gentleman who was the supervisor or something at the time was giving him a half-assed "orientation" of the computer system that controlled everything - ship ingress/egress, manifests, dock assignment, all of it. The supervisor was not the most attentive or "dedicated" worker to say the least - type of guy that came in at 10am, took a 3-hour lunch from 11-2, and was gone by 3:30.
Anyway, the supervisor's 3 hour lunch is quickly approaching and he can't miss a single minute of it, so he shows my professor how to do some queries against the database and figures that'll keep him occupied for the next 3 hours. He heads out and my professor starts running all sorts of query commands - moving ships around, deleting ships, adding new ships, deleting ALL the ships.....
1 small problem - The supervisor forgot to switch the environment over to the testing database. My professor had just deleted EVERYTHING from the production database, and the port basically came to a screeching halt. About an hour and a half into his 3 hour lunch, the supervisor comes storming back into the port office frantically with panic in his eyes, rushes over to my professor's desk, sees his mistake, and knows there's no way in hell he will be leaving at 3:30 today.
It took them well into the night and the next morning to recover all the deleted records, during which there were ships just "chilling" outside the port in open water waiting to be allowed in.
Despite the catastrophic first day, my professor ended up keeping the internship all summer and went on to have many 3 hour lunches with the supervisor.
Seeing jordan genuinly loose it with laughter over something so macabre is the highlight of my day, absolutely perfect
The reality is, for every story we all have of someone winning a large amount of money, we've all got 3 more of the crack head losing 10k
And 1 more about someone being nonplussed about winning a shitload of money because it was a fraction of what they put in.
And that crazy (usually Asian) guy who they saw hit gamble on a $200 win and turns it into $5k by rapidly hitting the red/black gamble button..
Winning is quick, but it's pretty rare for someone to lose a sum that would be significant particularly quickly. Also, crack heads don't have a lot to lose, the main target are people who can keep losing progressively more and more because they start out with some savings and a car and maybe even a home. People who are used to being viewed as "normal" are also better targets because they often have very little experience in seeking help from people around them, and people seeing them differently due to an addiction is more scary to them. They'll hide it the best they can and get into that "things return to normal and I save face is if I win enough back" mindset, which is what the gambling industry strives for because that's when the target starts increasing bet size while paying even less attention to odds and they lose more in two months than they did the whole year prior. I wish it was just crackheads losing money fast, wouldn't be nearly as gruesome as seeing someone go from excitement over their recent retirement to a quiet, scared looking zombie in a matter of a year and a half.
My first two jobs were at a casino. I started before I was old enough to gamble in my country (USA), and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I've never gambled. There was one woman in particular who stuck out to me because her good luck charm on her favorite machine involved standing up and licking the screen. She was around for about a year before she suddenly stopped showing up. If we didn't kill her, I dunno what else could have, cuz she was ALWAYS there. I transitioned to the IT department when I was old enough, which was also responsible for maintaining the machines at this particular casino. I found SO MUCH METH, Y'ALL. *So* much meth. It came from exactly the people you expected, and exactly the people you would never in your life expect, and absolutely nowhere in between.
What? They put the meth in the slot?
@@balung They would leave their baggies out on the machines, or they'd fall between them/on the floor and I'd find them in the course of whatever other maintenance I was doing. We had to remove all of the machines once in order to replace the carpets at one point, found some goodies in dark corners that had probably been there a decade. It was an interesting job
@@Avendesora Thanks, for sharing mate.
i used to be a table games dealer at the star on the gc, i worked graveyard shifts (8pm-4am) and there was this one guy who would come to my table every time because he believed i was giving him better luck or something, anyway this man would be playing blackjack for the entire duration of my shift and only sit at my table betting max amount, doubling, splitting even when he had shit hands until he ran out of money, then he would go to the ATM and comeback and repeat all over again, he told me he inherited a fuck load of money, i tried to help him, told him to stop, asked my floor managers to exclude him (we can exclude people if we think they have a gambling problem), they did nothing, one day he just lost his shit threw all his chips at me and threw a beer glass with incredible force hitting the big wheel (a spinning wheel people bet on) causing it to slow down and potentially changing the outcome making the betters very angry, people only got reimbursed for their bets and they were trying to hit the guy. Security came and he got taken out back and that was the last i saw of him.
if i were to guess his net profit it would probably be around -100k or more
When I worked in a phone repair store, I had a guy in his mid 40s walk up to me and start the conversation with "I watch a lot of porn". Talked about all the porn he has watched just in the past few days. About 5 minutes of porn related conversation later, he got to the point of saying he has a virus on his phone... because of all the porn. He said he clicks on "every single tits" he sees. Just touching his phone was gross knowing what it was used for. Had to factory reset the phone because of all the porn and viruses. I saved his "pictures" and contacts and he was the happiest customer I had ever seen. He was so happy to have his "collection" back. TLDR 40yo man admitted he had a porn addiction to a at the time, 17yo boy.
This video is the definition of “I thought this would be funny, but it’s actually kinda sad”. I always feel miserable whenever I’m in the vicinity of pokies.
you should do EB Games or JB Hi-Fi stories. Like what's the sweatiest neckbeard stories you could probably add Zing in there to.
I worked at a bowling club for awhile, it was quite sad, the place would open at around 10:00 and there would people waiting outside to get into the pokies. these buildings are supposed to for the community but they just seem to be catered more towards sucking the money out of the more fragile peoples.
I worked a bowlo for a while. Great job, met some good old blokes, had so many scones I can remember, plus I got to drive the mower once.
But we don't have pokies in WA
@@FekDindad-xy9vz no pokies in the whole state?
@@roguetrooperblue apparently there's some in the casino. No idea if they're the same as eastern ones.
@@FekDindad-xy9vz Nice, I think they used to be illegal in Vic too but I'm not 100 percent sure on that because it was before my time
@@FekDindad-xy9vzI just went to the casino there actuall. First time i ever went to a casino. They definitely have pokies, it was pretty sad seeing all the old people playing with them and yes the seats were stained. I ended out playing electronic roulette and I'm almost certain it was rigged, me, my brother and his flatmate kept betting even at one point, but it was odd for 10 different games. That's like flipping a coin and it lands heads 10 times. Literally the moment we ran out of money it was even, we had fun but damn. I could not imagine doing this without a friend and spending more than $80 on it.
I worked in a casino for a few years in the early 2000s.
People would use the fronts of poker machines as a urinal, people would pee and poop in the pot plants etc because they didn’t want to leave their machines.
The few hours of the year we were closed, the line up and queue of people ready to run in when the doors opened.
Watched a guy ram/lose 50,000 though a $1 pokie machine during my shift.
Some people would use their card to keep the buttons pressed and ram thousands through the machines over a 3-4 day bender without leaving.
And a fellow who stole heaps of money from the government which was supposed to go to aboriginal communities and he just rammed it all through the pokies.
He punched me in the face when I asked him for ID as he wanted to withdraw his casino reward points. I was sent for conflict resolution training for being punched in the face by a gold card member.
Casinos are nasty, but their win/loss chances on pokies are much higher than pubs and clubs.
When you don't start the conflict but get sent to conflict resolution training 🥴
I have 100% confidence all of these stories are true. 13 years in pubs and clubs I've seen it all.
Story time! When i first entered the IT industry I was doing IT support for this car dealership group with multiple stores in about a 35 mile radius, there was this one female employee who was nice but always seemed a little odd.. Well one day she calls me in because her favorites in her browser disappeared. So I see she has internet explorer minimized and when i open it I see multiple tabs for "daddy daughter p**n" and various other things. I remember her being right behind me and literally just acted like nothing happened at all..
Love ya work Jordies… Confessional stories idea, realestate agencies… it’s a world unto it’s own… shady deals, inter office affairs (I can’t tell you the amount of homes that were rendezvous locations) and the stories from the property management team were mind blowing
Oh yes. They really need an expose. (50yrs a renter)
Boomers: Stop playing video games.
Also Boomers:
i mean csgo skins.
@@sirspongadoodle You have a point... But I mean. Did you hear a kid shitting and pissing them selves and waiting for a place to open at 7am?
@@TheSolidMidgetOfficial atleast boomers aren’t annoying
@@sirspongadoodle 😂😂😂
Who's gonna tell him?
These stories are so fucking sad... like these are people with gambling addictions. Have a very weird vibe watching this video as the scenarios and stories are funny, but then the dread of it actually happening to real people hits. The title is perfectly spot on.
It’s that whole perfect description of funny haha v funny sad…
Talked to an all seeing high level IT person once. They told me about their constant chess battles with the people in the buildings and businesses they are responsible for securing, and their lowered faith in the general populous as a whole (Although it didnt seem to bother them). There was one building they mentioned where it was all hyper professional individuals like scientists, engineers ext, and they were currently in the process of hunting down someone who was watching onlyfans at work but was trying to hide it. Which was hard because everyone was sharing the same room and you could use non-work devices. The way they said it.. it was like they were hunting game in the woods XD.
Apparently a portion of the job was hunting down people using those websites. When I asked them about non-professional workplaces, they just laughed.
A very good friend of mine had a computer repair shop and I would hangout with him there every once in a while. One particularly slow day, this rather large gentleman hobbled his way up to the counter. I realized that with every step he took, he would let out a slight wheeze from straining. Anyhoo, he says there's a weird sound coming from his computer every time he turns it on. My friend and I said it should be a quick fix. Clean the fans, make sure they're secure, and dust the computer for him. It was surprisingly heavy, so I thought that it was just full of good equipment. I was so very wrong. As soon as my friend popped open the side of the computer case, I heard him yell, "HOLY FUCK!" I went to see what the commotion was and it turns out that there was a cascade of cockroaches. Had to have been at least a hundred of them in there. They're all just pouring out. We both saw some blended up bits of them in there, so the fans were killing them like some sort of Saw trap. My friend and I both recoiled in complete disgust and actually called an exterminator to help out. The guy that brought the computer comes back after an hour and a half from when he dropped the computer off with us, we told him about the cockroaches, and he responds with the most nonchalant "Yeah" I have ever heard in my entire life. He was nice enough though to pay for the exterminator as well. From then on, there was always a wave of relief when we opened up a computer. Also, Adam, if you're reading this, then you still owe me $20 for that horror show.
Wow!😂
Sex shop workers confesses their sins
Such a refreshing channel. You really do what others won't: take time to make original content by engaging with your audience and not cutting corners on the editing. Keep it up Jordie, your success is well deserved!
As a Network Admin I can (and often do) conduct random audits of any employee's account, and it is insane how often people think that just turning on incognito mode encrypts their porn search results. Lots of searches for sex toys and hot accountants in your area.
Most of it is harmless. But just imagine the look that people have when I tell them that I know they've been shopping for dragon dildos.
If incognito doesn’t work, can you tell some consumer accessible ways ( even tech savvy ones ) to encrypt said results? I didn’t even know incognito saved history - I guess your ISP can still see what you’re doing
I worked at a certain casino where there was a bomb scare. Staff were told to stay in offices. Cops frog marched people out of cinemas and food courts. But the gaming floors and rooms weren't cleared. I asked what the procedure was. They never evacuate. Never will. All money stays on the table and there's no way serious gamers will ever leave money on the table. It would have to be one hell of a fire before punters left willingly
Bruh…
As a child protection worker, the number of reports we get from the front desk of pokie venues…
Would in hindsight probably not surprise you.
My great aunt died at like 85 when she keeled over in front of a poker machine with a cigarette in her mouth and a cocktail right beside.
Idunno , Unless you can walk down the beach at 85 to watch the sunrise I think that's a pretty good way to go at that age ...
Not in IT myself, but am still friends with the IT guy from my last job. My manager used to time him to see how long it took him to come up the stairs from his office to help her, and would tell him about it (she made me keep record of his fastest and slowest times). She spent the week after he left walking around the office wailing out for him in what I assume was supposed to be a joke but just came off as very creepy. There was a whole group of older ladies in the office that were obsessed with him, one went so far as to ask him out on his last day. I think there was almost a 2 decade age gap between them. If you are wondering, no he did not go out with her.
I was in IT for a while and that actually happened to me..... but then I've always been the type of guy who is attractive to women who are 20 years older than me. My wife is 6 years older than me, I married her because she was the first lady I ever met who took an interest that was vaguely close to my age. LOL.
All the girls in their twenties thought I was hot stuff.... when I was five. When I got to be in my twenties it was pretty much cougars all the way until I met my wife. I'm not complaining. It could have been worse. Some of those ladies were fantastic, and beautiful, and.... how shall I put this.... very experienced in the bedroom... is perhaps a polite way of saying it.
Your guy didn't go out with her, but I probably would have, lol.
@@woopimagpie I honestly sounds like you just engage with the culture of the people 20 years older than you.
How horrible. That looks a lot like sexual harassment in the workplace to me. Disgusting idiots.
Thank you for that clarification, based on everything you said previous it was impossible to avoid concluding that they wound up happily married 🙄🙄
Bruh imagine if the genders were reversed 💀
One of my Sister's worked on the Gaming Room floor at Townsville Casino. She was sexual harassed & stalked by a female customer. Security knew this customers Parents because they were considered High Rollers. Here's the issue with this story apart from the stalking, those so called High Rollers were Aged Pensioner's on Centrelink 😢my Sister left because of the stress caused by the environment.
This one needs a Pt. 2. These are too good.
My uncle was an I.T guy for years - one of the stories he told me was about an elderly lady ringing up because the 'little arrow' kept hitting the edge of the screen, and she couldn't get it to the other side because the mouse pad wasn't big enough.
He slowly and carefully explained to her that she had to PICK UP THE MOUSE, move it over a bit, and place it back down... which apparently took a while to get across, too 😂😂
We need a centrelink confession
*American that googles* aww this oughta be good!
One of my mates worked in a pokies venue for years. He wrote a book about it and it’s some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read. It would make an amazing Aussie film!
What's the name of the book?
@@IPlayPianoInMyPjs it’s not published yet. My friend would be more than willing to email it to anyone who wanted to read it. He would love the feedback.
Would love to read this
@@Rule-of-two I would love to give it a read!
(@@Rule-of-two) oh? When he does publish it you should tell us, I'll definitely give it a read!
When I finished college I took a part-time job at the local leagues club (QLD). I was assigned a job solely with the pokies. The amount of slappy fights from screaming older women over who 'owned' which machines was hilarious...and disturbing at the same time. The sound from those machines gave me nightmares. I studied music so that made it even worse. They didn't pay me enough to put up with that.
The songs they play are designed to get stuck in your head and trigger the urge to play when you hear even a slight beat that’s the same as the noise they make, it’s crazy
My building had a fire emergency a good few years ago, the super had to tell the fireys that there were two women who refused to leave and lose their money they were dragged out and were throwing a fit over being saved from a burning building
It’s always a good night when there’s a friendlyjordies video, especially these kinds!
it's 1pm here in AUS :')
@@jahkra9259 It’s 23:31, as of time of writing, here on the east coast of the states. The algorithm decided I would like local Australian politics told by a slightly deranged man … and it was absolutely right!
Ok i read what you wrote again - i think you meant at some point in the past the algorithm sent you here. Ah, I still stand by what I said for anyone that sees it.
😊
I was playing the bandits down in Nowra once. Someone went arse up on the floor and while I rendered first aid to them, some scab came up and played all my credits away. He just said sorry and walked away. Price you pay for caring....
Classic, we need a part 2 with more messed up stories.
When I was in year 12 the school introduced a trial of laptops for all VCE students. One of my friends figured out pretty quickly that they hadn't blocked admin access, and he could use Command Prompt to send commands to force shutdown on other students' laptops. The IT guys thought it was hilarious. The teachers... not so much. They made an example of him, but by the end of the year they still hadn't done anything to patch the exploit.
I worked for an outside corporate sales rep & one day he was in the field but needed something off his PC. I’ll never forget how he whispered over the phone that his password was: tasty
He made it weird by whispering it.
I used to be an onsite computer tech, meaning I had to go to peoples homes to fix their computers. I was called to a job one day because the customers computer was running slowly. I got to the residence and met with a middle-aged man with a (not to be judgy) slobby appearance. He showed me to the room the computer was in and I got to work. Ordinarily, I never took much notice of the things around me, however, the spyware scan I was doing was taking quite some time. It was then I noticed that the bookshelf above the screen was full of porn DVD's (this was the mid-00's). Then I noticed the industrial sized bottle of moisturiser to my immediate right. There was a box of tissues to the left. I instantly felt dirty, however, it gets worse. I started looking around the room to find cartons (not boxes, CARTONS) of male incontenence pads in the corner. I also noticed that the chair I was sitting on had several towels over it, and I was sitting on these towels. Already quite grossed out, I noticed that his computer desktop screen was full of links to MySpace profiles of... well... let's just say boys that would not be able to buy a beer at a pub. I removed the spyware on his computer, took his money and got the f**k out of there as fast as I could.
I have plenty more stories, but this one was my darkest memory.
Good story 😂
When I started in IT it was in Sydney and we had mostly corporate clients (mostly network security work) and didn't see much porn stuff. But a few years later the wife and I left the big smoke and moved to a more country area with bugger all corporate work so I switched to doing home computers. I set up a small workshop at home for the ones I couldn't fix onsite easily and did a lot of reformat/reinstalls and stuff like that, machines that were just killed with spyware and viruses. I also provided an optional service of backing up all the data and restoring it afterward (ghosting), which most people wanted. With home computers it was rare that there wasn't any porn on them. They pretty much all had some. Some had a LOT. Some of it was pictures and movies of the customers themselves. That was always fun trying to look them straight in the eyes after you've seen them doing very intimate things to themselves, each other, or other people. Ahem. If you've ever wondered what someone looks like naked, just offer to fix their home computer, there's a pretty good chance you'll find out. I didn't just say that out loud did I?
And yes, I did find some very questionable material once. I rang the Police and explained, they told me to keep the ghost drive I'd made for the backup and continue with the job as normal, which I did. Completed the install, restored the data, took the machine back, got paid, job done. A few days later two Detectives came to my workshop, got all the contact details for the customer, took the ghost drive, and thanked me. I never knew what happened after that, but I don't imagine it went well for that customer.
I've been out of the game over a decade now. I don't miss it one bit.
New South Wales has no shortage of gamblers, There are plenty of stories
You sound like a sound gambler!❤
@@StarlordStavangernah
@@TihetrisWeathersby ya
I'd love to see stories from Services Australia(centrelink) staff
That'd just be a completely sad episode of people breaking down from mental illness or desperation to survive.... Like this ep was boo hoo funny, that ep would just be boo hoo.
We need the stories from sexworkers/callhumans, etc..
Feels like they endure quite a bit of "weirdness"
Probably a vague memory back when I was a kid who managed to pull the slot machine while underaged at the time?
But I still remember how pulling a win, with cash spilling out led to a lot of adults homing in on that slot machine like a hawk. Or a bunch of rats.
Probably because I was a kid back then, and not someone who could legally earn that gambling cash at the time.
I work in I.T. And as an administrator in the system I saw the Layoffs file on the shared drive. I opened it I read that 6 people were getting laid off tomorrow. I didn’t work closely with these guys, and it was the end of the day. So I went home. The next morning I was told by the CTO to disable the 6 accounts immediately so they couldn’t sign in, they all called into tech support and then they were told to go to the CTOs office with their laptop. Now the CTOs office is where you go to get new laptops when they arrive. But their immediate manager was in his office, they would set down the laptop, and then go to the manager’s office to be laid off. One guy passed me on the way to the CTOs and asked “Did you guys get any new laptops in?” I didn’t have the heart to say anything so I just shrugged with a stupid look on my face. Sometimes in I.T. Keeping secrets and acting dumb is the hardest part.
Same but as the administrator I was on a different list and the GM knew I’d signed the papers on a mortgage because I asked him two weeks earlier if I was about to lose my job so I could back out of the finance. He lied. He make me terminate all my co workers then the sack of manure terminated me. He moved his entire operation to another country but still lives on the Sunshine Coast suckling the mammaries of the local council. Silicon leech more like it
This needs a part 2!
8:20 "well he's not spinning anymore, he don't need em"
Please do an episode on butcher shops. I've been in the industry for over 20 years and have heard of and experienced some messed up up things.
I worked in a club and seen a bloke get $400,000 inheritance, in 6 months after the pokies and horses, he was picking cigarette butts out of the ashtrays for a smoke
I worked at a movie rental place and we had a line of people wanting to rent porn on Christmas morning.
Christmas isn't the same for everyone.
I worked as a mortician's apprentice. After always being partnered with either a more senior apprentice, or a fully licensed mortician, for quite some time while working, I was sent for the first time on my own to get a body from the local hospital's morgue. I handed over the necessary paperwork at the hospital's admin office and wheeled my cot back to pick up the body (dead male, about 275 lbs, I weighed around 175 myself at the time). Anyway, I made two critical mistakes. Number one: I set the cot to the same height as the bed he was on in the morgue. Number two: I didn't lock the wheels of the cot when I put it next to the hospital bed. So, following standard procedure, I went to the head of the bed and cot and grabbed him under the shoulders to slide his upper body on to the cot. (After which you then move the lower 1/2 of the body and then zip up the body bag). ANYWAY, as I brought his upper torso over the cot rolled away to the right and his whole body dropped to the floor. He still had a feeding tube, etc in his mouth - blood and various liquids went all over on the floor. I tried to lift him from behind and failed (obviously) and made even more of a mess. In spite of the morgue's cool temperature I was sweating buckets at this point. Finally I was able to drop the cot all the way down (about a foot off the floor), wedge the head of the cot into one corner of the morgue - push the corpse into the opposite corner (it's around a 12x12 room btw) with his head at the foot of the cot and then... I successfully dragged him on to the cot... during that time, shit and piss is leaving even more of a mess on the floor during this process. Luckily there was no one else there (it was about 3 AM) and there was a large supply of paper towels and cleaner in their morgue. I got the floor cleaned up and exited just in time - a pair of nurses had wheeled another body down.
Have you done the called out Health Inspectors, yet? Cos I feel like they'd have a heap of stories
I've worked multiple IT Customer Service jobs, but the one section of IT that has the most insane customers is/was Cable TV. Before we had netflix etc, Optus TV and Foxtel were the big entertainment providers.
We had a lady call up once and her set top unit was not working, and when I told her that we needed to send a technician out to fix it she said "Well what do I do with my kids until then"
You don't realize until taking your 10th call in a day trying to teach someone how to change batteries in a remote and put them THE RIGHT WAY, how challenged people are these days in society...
The most unbelievable moment in history was marred working for a Pay TV provider. When on Sept 11th when the first pieces of news starting coming through and I remember sitting in the contact center staring at the TV screen trying to comprehend what was happening, at this most Impactful time, people starting calling up asking why their regular scheduled shows were not playing...
I'll take PC Tech support over CableTV support any day.
This will probably be demonetized in record time if you use this one, but here you go.
During the early Covid lockdowns we started having the more computer based jobs work from home. We set up a separate VPN that lets Engineering, Sales, Marketing and pretty much everyone else we could send off-site, still have full access to their PCs at work from their personal computers. One guy from Software Engineering had Windows LTSB with his Remote Desktop set up as a terminal server. This allows you to use remote desktop without locking the PC being remoted in to.
At some point he got his actual PC's desktop and the window for Remote Desktop confused and we got a message from one of the maintenance staff that we should look at a PC in one of the cubicles. When I got there, the maintenance guys had chairs pulled up and were sitting around the monitor like they were relaxing at a camp fire. The first thing I saw on guy's monitor was a video of a girl in a black mask sucking off a large pig.
I sent the guy a message letting him know he was on the wrong PC and we could see everything he was looking at, but he must not have had notifications on and just kept flipping from video to video while I tried to get ahold of him. Eventually I hit the power button on his PC ruining the show.
His only response when he finally got back to me was, "I almost had a panic attack when everything froze and said remote connection lost, but that explains why I had to log in to every site I went to."
One of guys that was there always greets me with an "oink" when he sees me as a little inside joke.
So I worked IT at a school for a while, it was a really fun gig for the most part and I think I've got a few stories:
So most of the time, I would just be doing work troubleshooting in the IT room, but often I would be called into the classrooms to install different pieces of technology, and this is where the magic happened. Now, you'd expect me to have heaps of stories about people being like "pew pew no workie" and finding a bunch of NSFW on their computer, but no. I just reinstalled a version of their machine without looking. Some things are better left unknown.
But what did happen an awful lot was every time I would go work on something for the dance department, the teacher would always request that I come in when she didn't have students, which made sense, I didn't want to interrupt her and wanted to make sure she new all of the ins-and-outs of the equipment I was installing. So the first thing I installed in the dance room was a printer. Not a big deal, most of the teachers needed printers for a host of things. She hung by the door while I worked, asked me about what I was doing, how everything worked. It was pleasant, and I finished in exactly the time I'd allotted before my next task. She asked if I had some more time to show her how it worked, in depth, but I had other tasks on my queue, so I apologized and set to them. About a week later, she came up on my queue again and needed some software installed, some sort of proprietary thing. So I came downstairs with the program and found her waiting for me, relaxing on the office couch. She was reclined and looked comfortable in a loose-fitting top and dancewear, so I got the program installing, not wishing to disturb her recumbent bliss. We made some small talk about what a long day it had been and how she'd been looking forward to seeing me and unwinding, I had been so helpful after all. She then began to talk about how she'd been having computer problems at home and wondered if I'd ever consider coming over and assisting. "No ma'am," I insisted, "I don't know what sort of things I might find on someone's computer." "It's not like I have anything naughty on there or anything... I'll even make sure to pay you well" She said, standing and resting her hand on my shoulder. Unbothered by the touch, assuming it was simply the normal skinship found in dancers. "As much as I wish I could ma'am, I fear you never know what you might find." She released my shoulder and the program finished installing and she thanked me, bidding me well. We were always cordial whenever we saw each other, but she really didn't need much help after that.
5 years later, I realized she was trying to sleep with me.
I began thinking… this sounds like the start of a letters to Penthouse submission. 😂
Not my story, but I was next to my coworker while it happened. Basically, a director at a company wanted to give his old work laptop to his kid, so they gave it to their wife to organise us to wipe it.
Before wiping the laptop my coworker decided to ask if there was anything important they wanted to backup, so the wife started checking around, only to find tens of gigabytes of porn sitting on his desktop in what I believe was a "work" folder. My coworker suggested that maybe it was a virus, but she just said she'd call back later, and had to speak to her husband.
The director later called back to tell them the wipe could go ahead, and we never heard anything more about it.
Not exactly IT but I worked customer service for Telstra.
Our call centre had a gong that they'd ring when someone hit their targets and all the 2ics and managers would clap. Every. Single. Time. The customers could hear it and I remember one saying "I guess they're celebrating one of youse actually solving a problem for a customer"
European here. I used to work as the sole IT guy at an American muscle car seller (yeehaw). One day I had a woman come up to me about an "error in the system" because she was attempting to order a Dodge Ram from some vendor in the US for one of our customers, and had tried to do so several times over the course of a week. Well, it turned out that all of those orders actually went through, and the reason she thought the orders failed was because she "didn't get a confirmation mail" like she was ordering something off of amazon.
Not gonna lie, it was kinda funny to watch them hoist 300k worth of identical cars off of a freight carrier at the port harbor, I'm glad the business was located right next to the offloading zone so we could make a company trip out of it.
Oh, and she was fired because of it, and I think a few of those cars are still on display in the store.
As an I.T. worker, I once went to an onsite at a client who was the business's punishment customer for its employees. She lived in such filth with her yappy little dog that you had to jam Vicks up your nose just to survive the home visit. There were dirty nappies piled in a bathroom that unsurprisingly reeked of piss. Yesterday's Woolies purchases sat rotting on the kitchen countertop. To top it off, she'd sit uncomfortably close and lean in close to punctuate nearly every sentence going, "You do believe me, don't you?" with rancid breath. I still gag thinking about her.
Wow that was ridiculously funny and very sad at the same time I can understand why you needed a break it fucks with your head when that happens.
I used to manage IT at a high school. Our emails were filtered for *bad* words to help with student bullying issues so when a bad word was emailed, I got a copy. Turns out this filter was also on for staff... The school principal I guess forgot about this rule and one day I got a bit of an explicit email from the principal to another staff member (both married) detailing their ongoing affair. I had to remind staff about the rule in a broadcast email and neither could look me in the face for the rest of my time there.