As a Catholic guy in a similar situation to you who struggles to find someone to go on a date (have asked multiple women over half a decade with no success) despite most people i know saying that they are "shocked im not in a relationship yet" it is a tough scenario to be in. To truly find someone who is compatible to the point where the chances of it working out is difficult, especially in a day and age where lots of people in our generation are antisocial; "not actively looking for something serious" ; or just straight up incompatible on significant and important life and spiritual goals. My only advice is to consciously reflect on what is the absolute bare minimum relationship essentials for you to be happy (I like to cap it a 5-6 traits/compatibility points for the exercise) and stick to it. Then when you spot what you are looking for you know that it is right and why you believe it is going to work out for the better. Self help can only go so far and then it is up to God and yourself to be actively seeking but detached from the result, helping you to patiently go through the process.
When it comes to meeting someone, it's not just you. We are living in strange times. Re: your celibacy journey - I can very much relate to what you are saying and I think you are on the mark. The longer you're celibate, the more you value intimacy and sex is a really intimate act. You don't want to share yourself with just anyone but you also don't want to take the purity culture approach either (not that there's anything wrong with purity culture). Also, I agree with you that you can only get so far by yourself on your "healing journey". You also learn a lot by being in a good relationship. The last guy I had sex with was quite a while ago. Afterwards, I said to myself, "I'm no longer go to do intimacy casually." And I meant it. But that's what a certain percentage of people are into ~ p$rn and casual sex. It can be a little lonely and isolating if you're not into that lifestyle but the flip side is, if you participate and don't really want to, you'll still be lonely and isolated. I think it's better to take the road you're on. All the best to you.
I'm a man and although its very hard for me to understand how you feel because my male mind works in a very different way, I can at least appreciate how difficult it must be for you. I am grateful for how you acknowledge how for us guys its also challenging, especially around asking women on dates and taking them out to more pricey intimate settings rather than walks or something basic. It is not only a huge emotional risk and a worry, but I feel we guys can feel taken advantage of, or used for free meals etc. I think a lot of us would rather be rejected immediately for our looks on approach, rather than go through the experience of paying for dates only to be rejected because of a lack of connection. But the way you describe the importance of that more intimate setting and wanting to be courted makes a lot of sense to me. And also what you were saying about how men are more indiscriminate on apps vs how you girls use more discretion. It's very hard for both sexes for sure. I found you because I looked for info on understanding how it is for women who struggle looking for meaningful relationships and I feel I'm learning more about how it is from the female perspective so thank you!
As a Catholic guy in a similar situation to you who struggles to find someone to go on a date (have asked multiple women over half a decade with no success) despite most people i know saying that they are "shocked im not in a relationship yet" it is a tough scenario to be in. To truly find someone who is compatible to the point where the chances of it working out is difficult, especially in a day and age where lots of people in our generation are antisocial; "not actively looking for something serious" ; or just straight up incompatible on significant and important life and spiritual goals. My only advice is to consciously reflect on what is the absolute bare minimum relationship essentials for you to be happy (I like to cap it a 5-6 traits/compatibility points for the exercise) and stick to it. Then when you spot what you are looking for you know that it is right and why you believe it is going to work out for the better. Self help can only go so far and then it is up to God and yourself to be actively seeking but detached from the result, helping you to patiently go through the process.
Great video. You make a lot of good points. Agree with you about the dating apps.
When it comes to meeting someone, it's not just you. We are living in strange times. Re: your celibacy journey - I can very much relate to what you are saying and I think you are on the mark. The longer you're celibate, the more you value intimacy and sex is a really intimate act. You don't want to share yourself with just anyone but you also don't want to take the purity culture approach either (not that there's anything wrong with purity culture). Also, I agree with you that you can only get so far by yourself on your "healing journey". You also learn a lot by being in a good relationship. The last guy I had sex with was quite a while ago. Afterwards, I said to myself, "I'm no longer go to do intimacy casually." And I meant it. But that's what a certain percentage of people are into ~ p$rn and casual sex. It can be a little lonely and isolating if you're not into that lifestyle but the flip side is, if you participate and don't really want to, you'll still be lonely and isolated. I think it's better to take the road you're on. All the best to you.
I'm a man and although its very hard for me to understand how you feel because my male mind works in a very different way, I can at least appreciate how difficult it must be for you. I am grateful for how you acknowledge how for us guys its also challenging, especially around asking women on dates and taking them out to more pricey intimate settings rather than walks or something basic. It is not only a huge emotional risk and a worry, but I feel we guys can feel taken advantage of, or used for free meals etc. I think a lot of us would rather be rejected immediately for our looks on approach, rather than go through the experience of paying for dates only to be rejected because of a lack of connection. But the way you describe the importance of that more intimate setting and wanting to be courted makes a lot of sense to me. And also what you were saying about how men are more indiscriminate on apps vs how you girls use more discretion. It's very hard for both sexes for sure. I found you because I looked for info on understanding how it is for women who struggle looking for meaningful relationships and I feel I'm learning more about how it is from the female perspective so thank you!
Lovely comment. Thank you.
Thanks for making me spit my coffee at "ppl watch my channel in japan for f***sake". Now I have to change my socks :(((
I bet in your day to day life a lot of men assume you're "taken" since you seem to be confident and are very attractive.
Aww thanks boo.
Do you watch DBDR?
No, I don't know what that is? :-)