How to Be VERBALLY ENGAGING - Verbal Game 101
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2024
- How to get a girl to talk... and actually participate and engage in the conversation. Definitely one of the biggest struggles in game. And one for which there hasn't been much advice historically. "Just keep talking" or "throw shit against the wall until something sticks" are the common pieces of advice. This is woefully incomplete. The key is not just to talk, but to talk in a way that's ENGAGING.
systembytodd.com for more
Getting a girl to talk involves a lot more than "just keep talking". You need to talk in a way that is ENGAGING... or perhaps the better word is INSTIGATING. What types of conversation are going to make her want to participate? Watch the video to find out. And for more technical game, check out systembytodd.com
How often would you use a compliance question versus a risky question?
What's this crummy http deal? Kinda sketch
I can see the content in The System definitely not being a fad in game.
these videos are a gold mine todd
Todd V Dating
Todd, what do you do when a girl initiates? The moment we met is over and It would seem like work if I had to do it again when Im not good at text.
Me: You don't want to know how many cars are parked outside
Girl: ok
Unfortunately, Todd's advice mostly suits Gen Xers. The insipid braindead Instathot Gen Zers don't even use full sentences to express their half-witted ideas. You'll have more fun talking to a tree.
@@Protestan88 yeah its the girls who are the problem....
@@SayNoobB4ULeave Soon they won't be when they are replaced by superior domestic robots.
I dont think anyone even Todd would actually ask that question, it was just an example
Protestan88
Women are the same....they adapt to men who are confident. Simple as that but complex for us to understand when we were not taught that. Many of us were raised by Father’s(single moms) who really were not strong confident leaders who were not natural with women. We also didn’t figure this out when we were younger by not being extroverts watching tv shows written by nerdy men who are not experienced with women either.
Don’t blame women. Im not white knighting, but when we get upset by women act, it is usually us that has the problem. If your life is great there is no reason to get upset at them. You are strong when you dont let obstacles get your way and you adapt. Women just test harder now. Keep your cool dont let it emotionally upset you.
How to make her verbally engaging and get her to participate.
1. Communicate random topic
Ex: it is really nice day out today.
Not that interesting so it wont be gripping.
2. Communicate about her
Ex: you have a beautiful look.
She might say thank you, if she like you before you said that, she will engage you but it is still dead end conversation.
3. Communicate about her in an actionable way and relevant
Ex: you have a beautiful look but there is something little strange I can quite place it.
People dont want to take action if it is entirely positive so it is best involved nagative spike of some kind.
1. Closed loop: you give all the information. (Ex: there is 4 cars outside)
2. Open loop: you leave open question that encourage follow up. (Ex: you dont even wanna know how many cars parked outside)
Dont close the loop and conversational thread
Bad opener that close the loop: "Hi i had to come over here to tell you you look cute."
Better opener: "Hey excuse me you looked real cute I wanted to find out if you are really cool as your look suggest". " you look real cute but also little bit crazy, I am wondering about you".
It will provoke more conversation
If you are vague and ambiguous you can create loop on anything. Instead of you are very pretty, you say there is something about you, you have very unique look, I will tell you later. Forget it I even mentioned it.
If it is on high point and going well in conversation, instead of telling her everything and hitting extra hard, take a breath and step back, leave a little space and let her chase.
This doesnt have to mean she likes you very much. In first 10 or 30 seconds, She doesnt have much to go on about you. So making about her and making relevant and vague. So we instigate follow up from her.
Best input creating line in game - Best friends test.
1. Are you guys best friends, and there is reasons why I asked.
2. You know I just noticed something, are you guys best friends?
It is about them, group of girls.
I don't understand, do I need to actually have a reason to ask if they are best friends?
ur the man
@@noahmclay7073 That would be closed loop if you don't have reason. You would have to go on to different topic and open again.
absolute legend bro
Legend
“It’s gorgeous outside”...”yeah”..”now I’m intrigued about the inside”
Body Language is important too.
You also need to raise eyebrows 2 times. No more, No less.
@@hellcopterts8895 milhouse vibes
Instructions unclear: Got kicked out the club for bringing cookies
You didn't bring them at the correct angle
Why did they kick you out for cookies?
@@victorespino5650 he didn't share
If you have the cookies and they don't know it, there's no reason for you to get kicked out of the club.
Throw the cookies in the air. Make the bouncer PURSUE the cookies😗
"You don't want to know how many cookies are outside."
Adjusted for Sesame Street.
"I kind of like you, but you're a bit fat" - that engaging enough?
she would literally dream about you forever...
That's too rude, How about
"I kind of like you and I have something that'll make you thinner in no time"
@Tonyblairz this is overthink at its peak. even for me
sir mixalot has entered the chat.
Trauma work on bitches lol
Still the single best dating and pick up coach I’ve ever come across!! Don’t think anyone will top you
Proud of your work as always
Watching these videos just make me realize how I’ve been doing everything wrong and ruined some of my best opportunities
We have to make a fund raiser for todd to get a new jacket
LOL ! That's a good one ! xD
LOL. His style is pretty basic/below average
@@FitnessByMatt woman care way more about social proof than looks
FitnessByMatt I’d say he’s pretty good looking generally though.
@@FitnessByMatt how old is Todd?
The kid from the matrix was teaching us game the whole time...
there is no spoon
Lol wait what?
Honestly coaches like you are a blessing in a world where guys have to make 99% of the effort
YES!! Todd you are amazing! I was always so frustrated with the normal conversation part of game! Basically I was dependent on self-amusement and push-pulling. This finally gives me the mindset I needed to communicate better and more authentically!
Let us know how this worked out for you in the field
There is still a kind of push-pull of nature to this.
@@ReeceJulie Yeah push-pull is definately a part of it. But I was coming off as a dick more than simply teasing them.
@@frenchiegonewild7264 Well it's slow progress but I can steer conversations more towards topics I actually like rather than just trying to make them laugh or getting to know them better. The tough part was never getting to know the girls. It was always sharing myself to them.
@@rubenjr4908 In my strategy i always look for the following, this is my structure: i open, i offer relevancy, i tease maybe disqualify rarely if the case i validate and then go for the instant date
you have a beautiful look, but with something strange, I can't quite place it
LOL, awesome push-pull
Israel-Did-9/11 I feel like replacing “strange” with “odd” is a little more softening blow
Israel didn't do 9/11. WTF are you talking about.
voodooros you sure about that?
can you cook ? is great opening line for texting, women will wonder why you say that
@@malteh.5075 Yeah he's sure, Zionists and Israel are two completely different things.
Blaming a country because of a few people in it's government makes great sense doesn't it?
Levels:
Reading topic
About her
About her in an actionable way
Engagement:
Create open follow up statements.
Make it about her
Instigate her
Best friend line
Random topic, not reading
Outro song is called Money - by Akula747
Men I have served you well! ✊
thanks provider
Was looking for this lol couldn't find it anywhere, could you?
Byron Jin they deleted it bro 😔
@@tevinwow Dang :( time to just listen to that outro on loop lmao
Byron Jin lmfaoooo 😂😂😂
Basically make all your comments to a girl ‘click bait’ - just. A flavour or something more interesting, so they engage and want more
I'm realizing I do that naturally. But that's all I got lol
Well at least someones still putting out actual PUA content
Our boy Toddy V dropping fatherly advice yet again. Godspeed.
The other day I was in the grocery store and a beautiful woman was behind me in line. What made it even better was that the customer in front of me was being a pain in the ass so it gave me even more time to make something happen, maybe even something to open with. You know what I did? I just waited there patiently, checked out and left. /Thread
You need to memorize stuff for each common situation. "Hey excuse me, just wondering what u think about sausage... What kind do you like". Lol
You should have looked in her cart to see if she had any melons. Then tell her she has nice melons.
Garbon Ratslayer I’m dying 😂
She probably had a boyfriend.
Don’t take it not seriously.
Todd the scientist
Professor Todd
Sensei Todd
Good stuff, thanks
Todd helping us soldiers coming out of NNN
Helping us to stop being virgins ahahahah
Epic crossover
NNNam
I can swear, there is something about Todd that I can’t put my finger on. Or he is extremely intelligent or he is a master on his work !!!!!!!
3:00 That guy in Background. I think she finally texted him that she is good to go out with him for a date.
Nah probably cat videos
That was me
Prateek Sharan Lall 💀💀
I would love you to talk with Alan Roger since you both preach totally different verbal styles,
I guess we are sometimes too logical and straightforward. I was always taught to be like that, but now i need to be vice versa. It's hard, but i will.
keep the loop/conversation-thread OPEN-ended.. you look cute, but I want to see if your personality matches up to it
Israel did 9/11 and many other things.
Your first comment was good but can your second be just as educational?
@@ScorpionSuerte wat
@@Aliens-Are-Our-Friends2027 Ok, so you kind of impressed me at first, now I'm not so sure about you
That's a fire opener 👌🔥
On the train on my way to date 😂 good timing this video come on my feed
oh, a bit of field testing right here. Has everything worked out?
13 hours after uploading the video, how did it go??
How did it go? Now we all curious!
@@Poop_Scoop71 maybe it's just a long train ride. I used to travel 700 km every now and then to date my then-girlfriend (and that's why I failed bitterly btw)
y'all want to know what happened on the date, he has left the loop open. Very clever
I am not glad that I found Todd because I learned pickup;
I am glad to have found him because I can use all of his advice to become the person I've always wanted to become.
Thanks Todd.
I'm enjoying the high quality videos.
Love the cookie analogy !! Todd the man! 🔥🔥
There are missing principals to this video. After field testing, I learned you also cannot want a cookie either. If you are withholding a cookie, then you cannot ask for one either, or you will lose massive power. This is where using statements vs questions comes in. If you ask a question, you are likely conveying that you want a cookie (an answer). So the power level cancels out or you lose power.
Really good teacher that has good examples/explanations and I'm able to understanding it.
Man, I told a girl I was texting today that "I am a plumber". And the of course the conversation died. I thought it was because of her higher social economic status (gynecologist of all things). This is exactly the video I needed. Thank you so much Todd!
Also if you are pursuing women of higher socio economic status and looks to boot, have you any tips? This girl is from Argentina and at least a 9. (I am backpacking)
Holy shit lmao no offense but "i am a plumber" must be some funny shit to read, specially if you don't look like one.
Tip:. Make it funny. I wrestle alligators. I'm a super hero. I'm a trapeze artist. Or if you want to be more honest "I lay pipe".
This question comes up all the time. No one cares what you do. Avoid straight answers and answer with questions..."what do u think I do... I'll give you 3 guesses if you get it right we take a shot"
@@earlspencer7863 I sometimes go for 'is laying pipe something you're interested in?' in person but I don't want to be that vulgar via text when I can't read their reactions
@@mezzuna yeah that doesn't work via text if you don't already have a connection. You can just be vague and say "I work in construction and I do well but what I'm really passionate about is flying kites lol. What do you think about kite flying?". That leaves some mystery but keeps it funny over text.
Bro, you’re on point with this topic. Appreciate the content
I actually made a open loop with three girls when I opened them.I said you three cannot be together, and they immediately respond why to me
He mention a book called the game .. I cant seem to find it by which author anybody know??
5:43 "If I have a cookie and you don't know it..."
"A what?"
Mini cold read
Open Loop
Push-pull
Neg
all follow the same general idea and they are quite effective when hooking someone's attention.
i've noticed that whenever you do a jump cut/at the beginning of any scene the volume is always a lot louder than in the middle or towards the end of it. don't know if you're doing that for effect/on purpose just letting you know.
Todd a.k.a the Messi of SEDUCTION.
Todd and AMS are the realest
This is brilliant, thanks Todd.
Thank you!
Just saw you on penguinz0... can't believe this is real.
That video is old as hell. Todd knows what hes talking about
Wasnt that video when todd was in rsd tho
And just imagine his fucking virgin fanbase actually believes this shit works LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
Todd... just thanks for all the great info and content you upload. Espectacular.
if its positive all the time there's no reason to take action. push and pull, shit test,open loop questions, make them think, little vague and ambiguous
Dope, thank you
Leave a little space and let her chase, love that rhyme
me: you have no idea what the girls were saying about you.
girl: what what tell me tell me
me: let me just get a drink and i will tell you, come back 30 minutes later.
girl: so what did the girls say.
me: what girls, i have no idea what you talking about.
Instead of what are you talking about change the subject and start a new thread as you have her engaging you
@@victorespino5650 How do you just change the subject without her asking about it again?
@@infiniteexp7853 do you know the first question you should ever ask a girl?
@@victorespino5650 what is it?
@@infiniteexp7853 after giving the answer to this we already got off topic of your original question. And that was my point. You just begin a new thread.
People never remember what you first said to break the ice..
The outro beat is 🔥🔥🔥🔥
These are some powerful facts over here, as usual Todd crushing it
Thank you so much for this valuable teaching, Todd.
Thank you 🙏🙂
Please never quit youtube youve been my mentor since i can remember bro..thanks for everything you put out
This guys confidence is godly
Outro Music Plzzzzzz. I need it so Bad. Hehe
I'm trying to figure it out too
Todd please I don't understand it.
In your relationship manifesto video you said something like : forbid their girlfriend to meat male friends instead of increasing their own value.
I really don't understand this.
So after all you mean, it's fine if I let my girlfriend meet all her guy friends?
She won't cheat with them?
Thanks!
It's not about allowing or not. It's about accepting.
Do you accept the fact she is out there, easily give herself away, with any guy, who put the less effort you give, to get her in your life.
She will blames it on alcohol and then you and then she will says she independent strong women.
Let me ask, does she have tattoo? Try look her red flag, and I will says there is no point worrying.
Because girl like her is like any other excat copy of any girl like her. There's nothing unique or new.
So just sit back and enjoy their presence because that's the kind of position they put themselves. It's always about them.
So never marry any of them because you can't wife them up.
Don't be mad at me. They put themselves in that label. If anything else, it's beneficial to those man who supposedly called themselves the "Alpha".
More girl for them and less for everyone. Guys who doesn't play the game, will simply get the left over, after this guy done smashed and breaking them.
That's why I will never get married because I'm not alpha.
Why is it my fault if she isn't engaging. She holds the whole responsibility for her actions. I am not gonna chase her. Conversation and by large the relationship has to be an equal investment.
I sort of resent the necessity of these verbal/mental gymnastics we have to pull to engage with women.
I did once upon a time. Until I began to see that this improves social skills in their entirety. How to read people deal w others at work, have your bosses like you, interviews whatever. Just to have a magnetic charisma/personality all around. Ultimately you gotta find your niche and just be yourself
This is skill for everyday converstation everyone needs to know. Make an app Todd where people would practice - you would earn a fortune.
It’s called Tinder
Thanks
I didn't think it's my fault, its simply girl are not that engaging to me.
I can go out there and met any male strangers and we can't stop talk about Sci fi, science, politics, etc.
With women, the next day, I have to met the HR department for being boring and lame. Also, ugly.
I stop talking heavy topics with them, but that's the only thing I'm passionate about when I open my mouth.
They like it when I just shut my mouth and listen to them talking until they start to ask my opinion and I give my honest truest on what I feel right.
I don't know, why I'm the one who has to be engaging to them by lowering myself to their level.
Everytimes, I'm with women, I feels not fun at all, because I don't want to hurt their feelings and I have to entertain them and not to make them bored.
With guys, I'm naturally can be myself. But what else options I have, other than coming here and understand the skill I need.
What else other way I can have, other than learning the skills to be entertainment to all this women.
They want a cool display of trophies on their shelf.
This is the reason why we men die early.
We need to do everything.....
Hey Todd any chance of a Black Friday deal on The System? ;)
Man I went out this morning to a packed shopping street telling myself I would approach when I saw a cute girl, I was in fact convinced I'd do it... Then I froze. All the time. I just didn't do shit for two hours. This sucks. How did you guys do it? I'm sick of just theory and theory.
think long term dude, put your feelings to the side and fucking open.. doesnt matter how shitty it will be, don't focus on the results in the beginning...think about game in the long run and how this will help you but only if you are taking the right action, right now!
Lower your expectations on what you have to say. You probably have perfect game in your head, yet can't even say "hi" or "excuse me" to a girl. Start with the opener, add stuff little by little every time it gets easier, and just think of the next step.
Kill the beta
Why would you not do it? Nothing bad will happen. There is only upside.
One thing that could help is to go somewhere far from your home at the beginning. Even a neighbor city. Then, just keep in mind that you are far from home, don't need to go back there anymore and nobody knows you, so nothing really bad can happen. It helps with the anxiety
That was very clarifying. I'm bringing cookies to every date now.
I'm a very good looking 33 year old. Pretty face, broad shoulders, no fat and lots of muscle. Maybe too much! I think I frighten women! Any advice for me please Todd?
Be more empathize when interacting, have a relax shoulder posture and a non threatening smile .
This is what exactly what happened today.. I open sets indirectly but, I'm unable to make the girl participate. After few minutes in the conversation, they say like we need to go, I'm waiting for my friends.. I have a very hard time converting those situations, cause when I pursue from there, girls be like. It's fine, I got to leave, why are you following me and other similar responses that I get. I feel strangled after a point.
..did you show any kind of premise dude?
Trying to skim this I read at the end "Why are you strangling me?"
@@Seductive15 good point. That's probably the problem. Indirect opens generally lead to lack of premise
V. Vignesh “why are you following me” LMAOOO
Respond with
Thought I in Instagram
as a software engineer, I've trained myself to be too logical. I only communicate in closed loops. I need to practice using open loops.
thanks for breaking this down.
I get it, let’s not for how to create proper functions in a conversations lol
exit music = awesome!
In other words...
push pull?
john gaynor what do you mean she either likes you or not “ YOU” have a lot of sides and shades in your personality and want to show her the best of them and to say it’s manipulative they either want you or don’t is like telling companies “stop advertising if we want it we’ll just buy it “ there’s no reason to discourage people who’re trying to be more socially successful and work out of an insecurity
john gaynor you can still do this and not be manipulative and be yourself ( which Is what this channel teaches) I don’t think it’s wrong if you were going to give a speech for example to use methods and styles to make your speech better and more appealing while still being genuine
Valuable video. Thanks.
Speaking aloud I’m new to game I lack high level tactics tho it’s hard for me to close but most chicks I talk to allow me to do what I want I presume this is due to black pill traits with shoes I stand around 6’0.5-6’1 (I’m 5’11) I have a 48 inch chest (from working out hard age 14-18) 30 inch waste so I have the V-Taper paired with curly wavy brown hair and green eyes and tan skin giving me the exotic look.
Even with my build I find it hard to close and smash the same night unless it’s just full black pill and she doesn’t care I don’t lack confidence just flow I can’t turn the conversation sexual
Thank you for sharing.Excellent video.
hey todd v dating can you help guys in LA and cuz im very interested .....
cuz i see how you how you do the "push and pull" very good but everytime i do it it just seems like dickish
like "hey i think your pretty kinda??" or stuff like that if you can help me out i hope i wont be much of a challenge pls?
So if a girl doesn't react favourably its because the guy doesn't say the right thing or says it the wrong way? Nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't find him attractive from the start then?
Hey Todd, love the videos. Question for you. I have a learning disability similar to ADD. It causes me to take longer than normal to process what someone is saying because my mind drifts and I constantly have to bring it back to the convo. As a result, I’ll start having a convo with a girl, and she’ll be all excited and smiley and bubbly. She’ll say a few things and perhaps ask me a question, and I don’t answer right away because I’m processing what she said. Right then, the spark goes out of her eyes and she thinks I can’t hold a conversation with her. In reality I can hold a conversation with people and I love both listening and talking. I’m also witty and funny because I do improv comedy (I agree, it’s super helpful). But when it’s a new person, and I have no idea what she’s gonna throw at me, and it’s out in public where there are lots of distractions, it takes me longer to process and she usually doesn’t spend enough time with me for me to get into my groove. What can I work on to keep the girl’s interest or perhaps buy time to process and answer her questions until the convo takes off?
I struggle with the same! Used to be horrible back in the day but not anymore. Meditation! Its hard for us but constant focus on breathing and only that for 5-10 mins really helped keep my mind in the moment. Also clean living, and having a productive lifestyle.
Why do I really want a cookie after watching this video
Bake it, bitch!
Solid advice.
Awesome content todd
Are there any books besides The Game that describe those events which are described in the book from other perspectives?
What author I can't find it
What song is at the end, the beat?
Beating around the bush
Where did you go or what did you do to become so knowledgable
Okay so I saw this girl at my climbing gym today. I spent time with her and her friend, helping them out with routes but going off on my own to do my own too. I spoke to her quite a bit, but I guess not as engaging, and I spoke a bit too much. This girl would look back at me now and then when we were apart. (I didn’t tease or flirt with her though when I could have.) When we had to leave, I asked for her number. But she said she doesn’t give out her number. Nor her ig. I said okay then bye. So I’m in this spot thinking of not giving her much attention next time (down to like 5% if not lower) OR I talk to her again and tell her that I want to take her out for a drink. Idk if she got that I wanted to ask her out when I asked for her number or that she thought I was being friendly (since I didn’t tease/flirt at all). Btw I did have a bit of selfish fun with her near the end and she laughed quite a bit. I’d appreciate some advice
Duuuuude. rule #1. NEVER ask
For her #, give her yours, that way u can make sure that if shes truly intrigued by you she will contact u, saves u time and filters women who have no desire
For u
This is so much work like Jesus I feel like I’m back in college again studying for my final exams 😒😩😂
Kevin Green 🤣🤣😂
Thanks 👍🏻 helpful
Why is this content so good u should add stuff like this to the system
Great concepts
I’m going to try doing this when texting
good way to start learning but true attraction biuled in person
Nah you literally want to keep your texts direct and text as little as possible.
Mosley my problem is that my text are to logical
with girls u wanna make sure u seduce and get to advanced agree textintg to minumum but to get used to have better analysis on what your comunicating and how its good first step training variable for newbs to see mistakes easier
@@superhuman5857 Gotta remember that girls are emotional creatures more so than logical creatures. A cute girl texted me a logical question yesterday. And instead of responding seriously/logically, I just texted her a related meme/joke back. She texted back a great response and laughed at my joke. I didn't even answer her question, and I still got a perfect response from. So, the lesson to learn is that your job as a man is to spike her emotions, not necessarily to appeal to her logically. If your texts don't have much emotional value to her, then she's probably just gonna get bored and not be to thrilled to text with you.
This is solid solid solid value right here
Great content as always
People say in any interaction there is one person reacting more than the other. usually the one who is reacting more will be considered to be inferior. Does that mean laughing at another person's joke makes you in that case inferior?
I think reacting in this case refers to reacting in a *defensive* way, so in the "laughing at a joke" example;
you may laugh because you recognise the person's attempt at a joke and feel social pressure to not "leave him hanging", or maybe you don't wanna appear lame for being a guy who "doesn't get it" and so you laugh with him, maybe he's a high value person in your eyes and you want him to view you favorably
or on the other hand, his joke may just "strike a chord" with you and you find it geniuenly hilarious, so you can't help it but bust out laughing
In short if the purpose of your reaction is to defend your "image"/improve people's perceptions of you, then it's low-value
If your reaction is just a natural expression of you and has no external purpose to influence others, then it's fine
Just laugh as though you're with your bros. Reacting is OVER laughing,instead of Hahaha you HaHAHAHAHa.
I used to think that too, but I was just seen as being weird because I was withholding my response which people can tell. And imagine a life where you are not free too laugh, how miserable would that be for you and the people around you.
If you have the mindset of being able to walk away and not wanting to need a reaction. You won't overlaugh for sure. If you have the inner core belief, your outer behaviours will follow through.
Most outer game you need to learn is learning how to move the interaction forward not really behaviours.
Finally, a very informative clip.
3:02 is this control systems class?
My god .. i am happy with my calculus
Sometimes I think tht todd is not a human......he is fuckin genius.
Guys sorry for the spam but maybe some of you know it since the topics are the same: where TF are RSD Max videos? Like I loved the guy and it seems like all of his video pick-up-related disappeared!
Todd it would be so great if you have a verbal game series of videos here