My father refused to attune to me and my mother. Because he thought we were unreasonable and impossible people. He instilled so much fear in us. Apart from instilling fear he made his friends and their nephews misbehave with us. I am thinking he did that because he wanted us to realize how bad a person he is and we shouldn’t look to him for help or guidance. Whatever his friends and their nephews did to my mum and myself were blank spots I never wanted think or feel. I just sat on my recliner and felt them whimpering and shivering. It felt so good. I am ready for a relationship now. If I get insulted I will walk away and not sit and sulk feeling shame.
All the signs you describe are also narcissistic traits. I believe, if a person became narcisstistic, there have been not just a «perfectly imperfect» parenting, but too much neglect and too little atunement.
For some reason, it looks like people just go with the flow of "accidentally" making babies and then adjusting to un unexpected life change. I never noticed people who consciously look at their budget, time/schedule, arranging their physical location/living space - all to prepare for child rearing. So, 99% of all the babies are not a result of conscious planning and preparing but a result of two excited people forgetting to use condoms in the moment of closeness. But even when people do plan to have a baby, it's still for the wrong reasons: 99% of all the planned children are, unfortunately, a result of succumbing to family/social pressure (=using babies as a means of getting a social validation of "being a parent" which equates to "being a good person" within larger societal expectations) rather than true inner personal desire to devote oneself to raising and rearing another human being.
All of those are very true and I would add one more. Many people have children because they want a “mini me.” In other words, you hear them talk about how they’re going to mold this new toy into everything they want. The role of a parent is to create an emotional environment for the child to become whatever they want to become. They are an individual our job as a parents to create a safe place for them to become that individual. Unfortunately, for most as you point out it’s a possession, it’s a status symbol… Very few people parent for the right reasons.
I don't have much childhood memories not because of blanking it out but because it was hugely uneventful. I got no guidance, had no friends, and didn't know about extracurricular activities. Any events were big ones, like having a nervous breakdown and spending about a month in a mental hospital before going to a "special" school.
Ha ha my early years were spent in a foster home. I was called "Ugly" by the foster mother for 8 yrs. Then I went home to mt stepfather who molested me for 3 yrs with the knowledge of my mother and grandmother. Then I had to live w my aunt and psycho cousin. I'm 50 now and the relationships I attract aren't good. I've healed a lot but obviously not everything.
Wow, I see this in myself and the childhood I had. Thank you for this video. I want to learn how not to be this person or in this pain. I want to grow, to heal.
Yes I am a people pleaser I don't want anyone to feel the way I did I learnt it attracted nassassistic people married one I let a home I left everything the impact on the children was devastating I have and use my skills and videos to help not just my children in there adult hood I help others not easy I am honest with my children refuse to argue I explain and focus on the now and I hold myself also accountable apologize for the hurt I caused I was a work aholic 100 hours to provide for a nassassistic marriage and make sure everything was fine in hindsight I was escaping from the abuse unbeknown to me my children where abused I took on all authorities 20 years got know where hundreds of reports failed in the system I write to the highest bodies no one would help " to complex" my ass I documented 20 years I'm a thriver becoming a speaker I am still learning more as I get older it's a life long process worth it once you know your worth and express you self stay calm key
😞So sad what everyone goes through. I think I have all of these. People pleaser for sure...my mother was too....pretty sure I passed this one down somewhere 🤔 ooooof. I fear men...love=abuse so I just avoid. Im all messed up🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have heard people describe what I have been through in many ways. It really depends on what each individual believes and how they define it. For me personally, they all mean the same thing. For those that believe and characterize it as an awakening or third eye, yes I have.
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This video ripped off the bandaid on my victim persona. Painful, yet long overdue. Thank you.
True success is the ability to overcome our demons. Agree! #restoredtofreedom
After all these years, you just answered everything. Ouch !
My father refused to attune to me and my mother. Because he thought we were unreasonable and impossible people. He instilled so much fear in us. Apart from instilling fear he made his friends and their nephews misbehave with us. I am thinking he did that because he wanted us to realize how bad a person he is and we shouldn’t look to him for help or guidance. Whatever his friends and their nephews did to my mum and myself were blank spots I never wanted think or feel. I just sat on my recliner and felt them whimpering and shivering. It felt so good. I am ready for a relationship now. If I get insulted I will walk away and not sit and sulk feeling shame.
We lost three children, and this made me face my past and quilt.The videos is helpful to restore my balance x
I’m so sad to hear of your loss but very happy to hear that you feel restored
@@kennyweiss 💝
💗
I understand all of this and carry on working on this as a woman I lived all of this
All the signs you describe are also narcissistic traits. I believe, if a person became narcisstistic, there have been not just a «perfectly imperfect» parenting, but too much neglect and too little atunement.
For some reason, it looks like people just go with the flow of "accidentally" making babies and then adjusting to un unexpected life change. I never noticed people who consciously look at their budget, time/schedule, arranging their physical location/living space - all to prepare for child rearing. So, 99% of all the babies are not a result of conscious planning and preparing but a result of two excited people forgetting to use condoms in the moment of closeness. But even when people do plan to have a baby, it's still for the wrong reasons: 99% of all the planned children are, unfortunately, a result of succumbing to family/social pressure (=using babies as a means of getting a social validation of "being a parent" which equates to "being a good person" within larger societal expectations) rather than true inner personal desire to devote oneself to raising and rearing another human being.
All of those are very true and I would add one more. Many people have children because they want a “mini me.” In other words, you hear them talk about how they’re going to mold this new toy into everything they want. The role of a parent is to create an emotional environment for the child to become whatever they want to become. They are an individual our job as a parents to create a safe place for them to become that individual. Unfortunately, for most as you point out it’s a possession, it’s a status symbol… Very few people parent for the right reasons.
I don't have much childhood memories not because of blanking it out but because it was hugely uneventful. I got no guidance, had no friends, and didn't know about extracurricular activities. Any events were big ones, like having a nervous breakdown and spending about a month in a mental hospital before going to a "special" school.
This is my childhood, thank you Kenny for another great video, I love the way you explain the emotional neglect and it affects us in adulthood
I love your sincerity and energy 🥰
Thank you, light blue window pane suit James Caan.
discovering you... love your earnestness . You KNOW
Thank you 😁
Ha ha my early years were spent in a foster home. I was called "Ugly" by the foster mother for 8 yrs. Then I went home to mt stepfather who molested me for 3 yrs with the knowledge of my mother and grandmother. Then I had to live w my aunt and psycho cousin.
I'm 50 now and the relationships I attract aren't good. I've healed a lot but obviously not everything.
Sending you 💕 love.
Wow, I see this in myself and the childhood I had. Thank you for this video. I want to learn how not to be this person or in this pain. I want to grow, to heal.
Wow Kenny, I am amazed at how much you resemble my dad from afar in your thumbnail facial expression
Yes I am a people pleaser I don't want anyone to feel the way I did I learnt it attracted nassassistic people married one I let a home I left everything the impact on the children was devastating I have and use my skills and videos to help not just my children in there adult hood I help others not easy I am honest with my children refuse to argue I explain and focus on the now and I hold myself also accountable apologize for the hurt I caused I was a work aholic 100 hours to provide for a nassassistic marriage and make sure everything was fine in hindsight I was escaping from the abuse unbeknown to me my children where abused I took on all authorities 20 years got know where hundreds of reports failed in the system I write to the highest bodies no one would help " to complex" my ass I documented 20 years I'm a thriver becoming a speaker I am still learning more as I get older it's a life long process worth it once you know your worth and express you self stay calm key
Extremely helpful. As usual!
Glad to hear it😁
😞So sad what everyone goes through. I think I have all of these. People pleaser for sure...my mother was too....pretty sure I passed this one down somewhere 🤔 ooooof. I fear men...love=abuse so I just avoid. Im all messed up🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What about self sabotage?
I have a whole playlist about that. You can learn all about it there
Hi Kenny, can you please tell me the name of the divorce attorney you recommend for NPD? I think you said she’s always wrong, Colorado? Shapiro?
Kenny, may I ask you have you been Through an awakening? When your third eye has opened?
I have heard people describe what I have been through in many ways. It really depends on what each individual believes and how they define it. For me personally, they all mean the same thing. For those that believe and characterize it as an awakening or third eye, yes I have.
So Kenny, if, as you said, every single one of us was neglected, what is the point of talking about the signs of it???
..so that the people who don’t know they were neglected recognize themselves and do something about it.
Different degrees of neglect in different areas of life-health,work,relationship,money .
1:45
Grand Pubah🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼