As you were saying "Odd one out"-- 54 year old man, here. Grew up in hyper-masculine OKC in the 80s. All of this rings so true for myself. Our big heart energy is what ties us to the world in a way so many just don't seem to get. Hold onto it with both hands.
My dad passed a few months before this album came out. I remember buying and then listening to it in the mini- van with my mom. The first 5 songs alone encompassed the up and down emotions I experienced during that time. It’s still a favorite album of all time.
This is the first video I've watched from your channel, and it's the perfect introduction. You've brought my Smashing Pumpkins obsession back, thank you. Passion for music and feeling deeply will never be "cringe" and will always be worth it.
Todd here, Hired Gun Trio, totally digged your commentary and how SP affected your life in a positive way. We started as a Rockabilly Band and eventually ended up being an original Indy Roadhouse band. SP, particularly Iha has influenced my guitar and style of song writing. Our latest originals which we are finishing up in the studio has a SP influence. Keep on Rockin your videos! Cheers, HGT
I'm 16 years old and Gish, Siamese Dream, and Mellon Collie are all already so special to me. On the subject of Mellon Collie, my top 5 picks would be: Porcelina, Here is No Why, Tonight, Tonight, album piano theme, and Thru the Eyes of Ruby.
So many amazing songs! SP is in my top 3 bands! They were so much a part of my teens and early 20s. I still remember going at midnight to TOWER RECORDS release party in Austin to buy my copy. Saw them 3 times before 2000 which is my idealized memory of this music! Hard for me sometimes to go see the bands of my youth now because it reminds me too much of my mortality LOL! Siamese Dream is still my fav but this is close second. It does have my favorite track 1979. Its nostalgia in music form
Thanks for sharing your experience with this album Jacob. I definitely get it brother this album set a path for me. I was already a fan but I'll never forget this tour. Your story of buying the cd reminded me of my own. After the year delay of shows the concert finally came back to town on Thanksgiving weekend Dec.1 opposite a Cowboys game in Dallas. Got in a big fight with mom and dad about getting to go. Turned our the parents were right, the traffic was crazy and they were right to not let us go on our own. Either way I had waited a year for that show, there was no way i wasn't going. I'd have walked. But fortunately, we came to a compromise. Dad was cool enough to take me and my friends 2.5 hours away and sat in the car during the show for over 4.5 hours before driving home. Must have been miserable. But I am forever grateful to dad for taking us. The show blew us away, you're right Billy was very aware of what was going on in the crowd and looked out for us when the stands cleared and rushed the stage before the 45 minute encore. Like you said it had been a rough year for them. The show was Amazing, and the wait was worth it. I've not seen one that could top it yet. Thanks for the story Jacob. 27 years later it's a memory they will never take from us. \ Thanks dad for taking us.
Everything you were saying about being sad and how Mellon Collie was such a comfort, I could totally relate. It got me through such tough times as music always did. I too had depression and anxiety young and still deal with it to this day. That underlying sadness never really leaves, I guess it's how we work with it daily, but music was always my home.
I'm binge listening on Spotify.....came here to comment. First off...I love what you're doing. Secondly thank you for the nostalgia. Thirdly...(is that a word?) ....anyway as a huge SP fan I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story of Zero.
Hey bro seriously great video. It's not easy to put yourself out there and I appreciate how you personal you made it. Don't listen to these kids most of them don't even realize how ignorant they are. Honestly I cringe everytime I hear them speak. So the reason you should make these videos is for people like me. I just ordered my box set yesterday and I am so stoked to get it. I wanted to check out some videos to see what others were saying about it and I watched 5 videos before yours and I couldnt even finish most of them. While I appreciate the effort they put into the videos there was a disconnect for me and they were pretty boring. Then I came to your video to and you had my attention the entire way through the video. The thing that is cool is while telling your story you actually told my story. I was 16 in 1995 starting another new school and didn't know anyone where I lived. My Dad took me to the record store and I got this CD admittedly it wasn't on release day (that's pretty awesome) but this album was definitely life altering for me and I played it over and over. I think it was the first album I had that not only did my parents or sister not even know who they were but had zero interest it and probably thought it was just racket and it made it even more special and I loved every song and it was also my gateway into discovering all the great music from other bands of our generation that spoke to us Green Day Dookie was another album tha comes to mind. I would say the most important thing about this album to me was that each song seemed to speak to me like no music ever had before and it let me know I wasn't alone in going through things and there were a lot of other people my age going through the same things as me and having the same feelings I had. That's when I knew that everything was going to be ok. I also wanted to say I am now 44 and I live to be goofy and silly and I am also very emotional and like you I have always had this feeling of Mellon collie inside and have always felt different than everyone and knowing they didn't have the same thoughts as I do. It's hard for me to sleep sometimes as things are racing around in my head and honestly sometimes it can even be scary. Ijist have to deal with it and that's it. Also don't let haters discourage you from doing what you like. Saying that you are too old that's ridiculous and it shows there immaturity. I don't feel any different now than I did 30 years ago and love a lot of the same things as a l did then, hell I still ride my skateboard time to time and do other things I've always done and if anyone has an issue with it then that's on them I am going to be me and enjoy the time I have here regardless what others think. Thanks again for they great video and please keep them coming 👍
Gosh this episode was long overdue! I am so happy how open and honest you were in this episode. I'm 27 and feel guilty about the amount of emotions I feel and this issue with having too much empathy. Makes me feel less alone tonight. Also, this album was phenomenal and it's awesome to hear the experience of someone who heard it for the first time when it just came out. Awesome job with this episode it is my favorite one ever from Waterproof Records ❤ had to comment that.
This is EXACTLY how i feel too. Jacob has so perfectly articulated something I’ve felt and struggled with my whole life. I felt everything he was saying. I feel the pain and the hurt of my own experiences like it was just yesterday and Jacob hid nothing here, his pain is so raw and real 🥺❤️
My intro to SP was 1st gf put Siva on a mixtape for me. We bought Siamese dream when it came out. With regards to Flood and his resume, he was a tea fetcher at some company, mute records perhaps. He produced Depeche Mode's Violator then U2 hired him for Achtung Baby.
Love this album since november-december 95, when I watched the video of bullet with butterfly wings on tv. Such a rollercoaster of emotions. And you're not cringe in any capacity. Love your content. You seem a really cool mate. Keep going man! Cheers
Wild. I also started a new high school when this album came out. My senior year at a new school. Awful. My favorite album from them. Trauma bonded. Haha
Wow! Loved your video! I’ve watched your short, comedy TIkTok stye stuff previously. This video, more serious, more confessional was really powerful. I loved everything that you said and I imagine many others will feel the same way. I’m about 5 years older than you, was also a SP super fan. Gish, Siamese Dream meant everything to me. Maybe because I was already in college and perhaps more jaded, I always admired Mellon Collie, but back then (and still now), it was never in the same league as the other albums. In The Smiths song, “Rubber Ring”, Moz references the songs that save your life. I think SP was and is that for so many people. Love him or hate him, Billy bares it all. Though it’s not as strong as Gish or Siamese Dream, the album that meant just as much to me on a personal level was the b-sides collection, Pisces Iscariot. It was like my companion. I remember reading Billy’s liner notes over and over again. It really helped me to survive that period of my life. Though I was happy enough as a dude, I always felt my super emotional side felt more female. A lot of the emotions I had I felt like my guy friends couldn’t connect with. Lyrically, I think one of Billy’s strongest songs is “Frail and Bedazzled” The title perfectly sums up the state of being super emotional and they lyrics I so connected with: “And all I wanted was to be a man. Since I gave up, I feel free!! (I feel free repeated over and over again)” The song became a mantra for me. To try to let go of expectations and become my own kind of super-sensitive guy. Anyways, thank you so much for your video! Looking forward to checking out more. -Larry
I just saw your short video about seeing Mayonaise for the first time. It touched me in my soul. This is the first video I am watching of yours. I feel I’m going to watch all your shit. Woot woot! I love The Pumpkins so much!
Great episode Jacob! And no, it was NOT "cringe". (I think people that use that phrase had it used on them in high school and so now that their life has gone nowhere they project it onto people that appear even remotely happy in what they're doing!) Like you this album played a huge part in my teen years. Born in '81, this album came out before I could drive a car which also meant it was before I had a job and my own regular cashflow to buy new albums. It must have been birthday or Christmas cash thdat allowed me to buy this treasure. I can remember it being one of the few CDs I had to play on my AIWA portable CD player and I was hooked on Bullet and Zero. On a long trip somewhere I managed to listen all the way to Muzzle and was transfixed by it and thought it was the great thing ever. Then I saw the video for Tonight, Tonight... I still get goosebumps everytime it comes on. It's dynamic and majestic and it takes your mind, heart and whole being on a sonic adventure. Just love it. Thanks for what you do. You are appreciated!
This album was there for me when I needed it. I get what you're saying on 'cringe'. Such a buzz word for comments. Honesty, enthusiasm and real emotions speak to me. I'm to old for this cringe bs. People, make your comments have value.
“A shadow that’s not that far behind a caped crusader along for the ride” that is my definition of my depression I dealt with since first can remember I’m 42. This album hit me at the same time as you. It is my all time favorite in what it means to me. My wife knows to bury me with my Aeroplane boxset!
Thank you for sharing this video! Your emotions and experience very much mirror mine from around 1995. This album saved me and still does. It was the first SP album I’d heard, actually had it on cassette and wore it completely out. I have of course since digested all Smashing Pumpkins which is equally special, but Mellon Collie holds a very special place in my heart and soul, and taught me what music could be. Every day as a young boy I would escape into the world that Billy paints sonically, lyrically and spiritually on MCIS. Glad to know there are kindred spirits out there, all I’ve got to do to get back there is put my headphones on and close my eyes. ❤❤❤❤
Please please please don't be sad when some random person on the internet writes that you are cringe. Why? 1. Most people love your videos. Two, three persons dont like it. So what? 2. The person that calls you cringe could be sad too and needs an outlet for his/her sadness by hurting others. 3. Your "short" for Mayonaise is already a classic. Greetings from Leipzig/ germany. 😌
If someone responds to something positive and heartfelt with "cringe" its usually because they are afraid of their own emotions and too immature to understand them. Thats been my experience.
Jacob thanks for sharing your story and all the emotions with this epic album. I was fully tuned in on all frequencies the whole way. MCIS can again and again bring me back to my youth feelings in the 90s…
What a wonderful inspirational video. Expressive and true. Aside from all of that, then we talk MATIS.... Beautiful album. Beautiful story telling. Keep it going my friend. We have lived a very similar life. It's great to hear another perspective.
“Intoxicated with the madness. I’m in love with my sadness”. That was my MO for much of my life so I really understand where you are coming from. It wasn’t until I was saved by Jesus Christ that he took my depression. It still comes back but not to the extreme and now can see through it with His help. Please know I am not saying that to be preachy, I’m just sharing my honest experience.
Can relate so very much. The title of that record says it all. Been dealin with it for 30+ years both because of trauma and because of nothing at all.... never leaves. But music has always been my savior the shoulder for me to lean on. And MCIS is one of the records that to this day is still keeping me sane and moving forward. Dont know the man but Billy will have my gratitude for life even if he has no idea.
I’m close to your age (44) so like you I’m part of that generational divide between Gen X and Millennial, and the first 40 minutes of your video really resonated with me. It reminded me of those 2AM drives (or walks if we were tripping on acid) where we’d just talk about really deep shit, and many times this album would be playing. I really get it the part about that innate sadness. I too have every reason to be happy, my life is great. I’ve always thought of it as kind of a painful longing but still I totally get it. Gonna sub to your channel!
Went through a similar period in my youth and Mellon Collie was the album of my teens. Love it till today. And with regards to that hole in your heart - let God fill up that space :) He loves you beyond measure. Thanks for the awesome album review!
I recently found your channel! Class of 98 here! Smashing Pumpkins was such an influence in my teen years. What I’m shocked about is that you haven’t done any shows on Blind Melon. They were that band for me. Great channel and thank you for sharing.
I’m on the same timeline as you JG, fell in love with SD, went back to Gish and then MCIS release became the biggest event in my life… SD changed me surely and permanently, but MCIS was THE era of the band and I thankfully had it become the soundtrack to the death of my childhood and the birth of my awakening/becoming myself. The proper MCIS album might not be the polished gem that SD is… BUT the MCIS “era” is the band’s pinnacle (with TAFH box set and all those amazing b-sides being essential when speaking about MCIS) - i feel so blessed to have been the perfect age to grow up with the band, and have MCIS as my musical rite of passage. Great vid brother, again thanks for sharing your personal stories too, 90s teenage doom, man what a tough time, but we’re all the better for it! 💪✊
Dude your channel is amazing. We must be around the same age I was born in 81 and all the reactions videos of hearing all those bands is exactly what it was like in the 90s
what a beautiful video, I got emotional along with you, I suffer from depression too, sometimes there are days when I can barely get out of bed, the only joy I have in life is music, I started watching your videos and I thought you were super funny and charismatic, I never imagined you suffered from that too. In the end, my first contact with SP was with melon colie, I'm Brazilian and here in the 90s things took a long time to arrive, I remember in 98/99 watching the video for Tonight Tonight and damn I was a kid and that made me It caught my attention, I found everything magical, SP has a gift for awakening nostalgia in me. When I heard it for the first time, I felt an emotion that I still didn't know how to explain, nowadays when I watch Tonight or 1979 I get emotional. truth of the desire to go back in time. As for being "cringe", I also hate that word, I think it always comes out of the mouths of people who are bitter about life and you're not cringe, you're incredible, I get music recommendations from you every day. Here in Brazil we have a band called (Legiao urbana)I wanted to recommend you,they started in postpunk and then with the departure of the bassist they changed the sound to something more acoustic the vocalist is known for writing strong lyrics that most of our people identify with, and because of the musical sensitivity I was already moved a lot listening to them, a song called "vento no litoral",it would be cool if you could hear it with the lyrics, the vocalist also had depression and passed away in 97, I usually say that if he were English or American he would be like Ian Curtis or bob dylan.
Thanks for sharing. This album hit me at a similar time in my life. My undiagnosed mental illness was still brewing out of my adolescent years, and I constantly felt misunderstood in all of my high school social circles. I bought this on CD in 2005 and played it nonstop to escape and engage with in the feelings expressed by corgan and co. You also nail it on cringe commentary. Those people are afraid to be themselves, something I believe melon collie helped me embrace. Cheers, plus one subscriber!
Thank you for sharing your very personal story of your joinery with this album! I was 12 when it came out and I got it from my step dad for Christmas that year. I remember as adolescents, my friend and I just laying in the dark listening to this album like it was our generation’s The Wall. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and was always and still am proud that they are a Chicago band. Also, the perspective you give on the internet trolls and haters is spot on! It’s very sad how much of that is out there! Anyway, you just scored yourself a subscriber Keep up the great work!
Great album and great video. We are the same age, happy birthday! You capture this album the experience of the mid-90's well. Also, thanks for the five minutes or so in the middle. Be proud of being able to share your experience in such a raw, honest, and vulnerable way. You are doing a great job, keep it up!
The most memorable album drop for me was Rancid's Life Won't Wait in 1998, not because I was a huge fan but my best friend was. This summer I'll see Pumpkins and Rancid together with green day at the ballpark in Philly.
I already bought MCIS three times. First in 1995 which was stolen from me years later from someone trying to steal my car radio. Second one I got in the US, it had the double jewel case and the mentioned brown booklet with the lyrics, I gave it to a friend later as a gift. Now on my third copy of it, I still listen to it every week, it's my choice of best album of all times, can't live without it. Subscribed, I believe you are the one on that youtube short of Mayonnaise blowing your face? That made made me laugh, love the ending. You rock
Dude...just found your channel! Seen your posts before and thought they were funny, but I totally identify with you .. we're the same age and I was a junior when this came out as well.The pumpkins are my favorite band of all time. Thanks for the memories!
I was in 11th grade. Our group of "freaks" had a countdown to the release date on our creative writing chalkboard. She let us have it up for a month or so all the way to release day. Honestly, for me it's not my favorite of theirs and I don't go back and listen to it, but still have the CD I bought on release day. At the time I was transitioning from "alternative" to The Grateful Dead and Phish. I'm going to listen to it this weekend thanks for your take on this album.
35:46 been watching the video till here and just had to pause for a second to say that I can so relate to you at 25, I mean I'm also a sensitive person and I feel like I've matured earlier than most people my generation thanks to some stuff I went through, also been wanting to disappear for different periods of my life since the age of 8! xD I feel very similar to you, TSP so good also!!
I saw them on September 7th, 1996 infinite sadness tour. They played 12 songs off this album, 4 from Siamese Dream, and 1 from Gish. 4 months later I'd see Billy close the show with Bowie at Bowie's 50th bday at MSG. They played All The Young Dudes and Jean Genie together. Just before All the Young Dudes Bowie leans towards the mic and says " I wrote a song bout him." and nods towards Billy.
This is by far my fav SP album, at the time I was disappointed at the recording/sound quality.. the bar was high with Siamese.. years later, I got it on vinyl and through my fancy studio speakers I LOVE hoy it sounds.
Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness is my favorite album ever. In fact, yesterday was my first year anniversary of discovering this magnus opus of music. October 11th of 2022 was a day to remember. I'm 17 going into 18 soon so I haven't had a lot of experience with this album yet, but one year later and it still sounds fresh. I have the Double CD, Double Cassette, 4 LP Box Set, and a few other items with this album. I can't describe how awesome, beautiful, and amazing this album is. My story is similar to Jacob Givens' minus the depression portion of it. I moved last year and have had a lot of emotions when listening to it while I was moving. I'm not going to comment on it too much because I am planning on doing a livestream on my channel on October 24th making this the 28th birthday of this amazing masterpiece. I'll also be talking about other things regarding my channel and music I have discovered. I don't have a specific time yet, but if anyone is interested, come check it out. I'll have updates on my channel and I'll reply or edit this comment once I have a specific time on that day. Anywho, great episode on the podcast. It's awesome to have a connection with someone that loves this album as much as I do. Keep doing you man. Music is an essential part of my life also. I love the enthusiasm and passion that you present when talking about music. Edit: This is still one of my favorites, but my bloody valentine's loveless is probably my favorite. I'm currently stuck on Public Enemy and they're album Fear Of A Black Planet. I was never a huge rap fan, but I love good old school rap and Hip-hop from the late 80's to mid-2000's.
Jacob thank you so much for this podcast! A big hug from a Pumpkins' fan from Argentina 🇦🇷❤️. I'm your age ( turn 46 on August) and I'm also a big Nirvana fan ( Grunge music in general is MY thing, as well as The Beatles) and a big HUM fan too!! Saw your Hum podcast too and I LOVE IT!!. Please, we need more podcast like this. You have my entire support.😊😊😊 P.S. you didn't mention the last track on the second album " Farewell and Goodnight" IMO, a beautiful closure of this MONUMENTAL piece of art!! 😊😊
@@JacobGivens ups! My mistake° 😅 (°btw, another gem from the Pumpkins !) Did you see the acoustic show someone upload to RUclips 3 days ago? An acoustic live performance from the Siamese Dream release party!!
Tulsa? Were you aware of Tulsa's counterculture history when you lived there? Larry Clark's book Tulsa, S.E. Hinton's novels, the Rumble Fish movie masterpiece, Woody Guthrie, the underground tunnels Waite Phillips had built because of his fear after the Lindbergh baby case? I travelled to Tulsa in 2018 to tap into all that and it was more incredible than I can get into at the moment, but we're you on to those things when you lived there?
re the 'cringe' bit you talked about halfway through: I think people call things cringe because they're forced to fill in the gaps themselves when they're exposed to something they can't relate to. They attribute and impose qualities that may or may not be there, truthfully, but regardless of that fact they cannot see it in the way being communicated. I can't say I haven't thought certain things were 'cringe', but I also am left wondering if I'm missing out at the same time because I don't understand. For me, MCIS was something that immediately stood out as something special and changed how I appreciated music from that moment on. Very important album to me.
I can understand your definition of cringe and I appreciate it. But I believe I'll always view it as a soul sucking word. It's only aim to diminish the person it's said to. But I'm glad the album means a lot to you too.
It’s called a Vylumi! It’s an amazing startup company that sent me one. No heat is emitted at all and you can display your cool records with splatters and colors etc
@@JacobGivens Sick! I laughed so hard at your 'guy with an acoustic guitar at a party' video. Keep doing what makes you happy man. I was the same age and experiencing similar emotions - albeit due to different experiences - when this album came out. It really spoke and ''offered a hand'' to lonely/sad teenagers like us.
This doesn’t have anything to do with this video, but can you please do a video about green apple quickstep… That is a really good album. Plus, you probably know stone Gossard produced it…. that would be great. Thank you.
there is such a thing as cringe but it's not people who express their love of something, those people who do nothing but criticize is cringe, all these videos about "oVerAteD" things are cringe
![Chris Langan - The Interview THEY Didn't Want You To See - CTMU [Full Version; Timestamps]](/img/1.gif)
As you were saying "Odd one out"-- 54 year old man, here. Grew up in hyper-masculine OKC in the 80s. All of this rings so true for myself. Our big heart energy is what ties us to the world in a way so many just don't seem to get. Hold onto it with both hands.
My dad passed a few months before this album came out. I remember buying and then listening to it in the mini- van with my mom. The first 5 songs alone encompassed the up and down emotions I experienced during that time. It’s still a favorite album of all time.
This is the first video I've watched from your channel, and it's the perfect introduction. You've brought my Smashing Pumpkins obsession back, thank you. Passion for music and feeling deeply will never be "cringe" and will always be worth it.
Thank you for this comment! Welcome and I'm happy you feel the same!
this album means so much 🥺🥰 I'm preparing a lofi cover of MCIS, your episode is perfect to help me get to work♥
I love your lofi cover of Siamese Dream. Really excited to hear you’re doing MCIS next.
@@glassskull thanks glassskull 🥺🥺❤️ I'll release stumbleine next week i Hope eheh
youre a legend, mate
@@jademonolith aaaaaaaaah 🫣🫣 i'm not.... But thanks for the support and Kind words. It helps a lot ❤️
I already did that. Mine is done and it's great
Todd here, Hired Gun Trio, totally digged your commentary and how SP affected your life in a positive way. We started as a Rockabilly Band and eventually ended up being an original Indy Roadhouse band. SP, particularly Iha has influenced my guitar and style of song writing. Our latest originals which we are finishing up in the studio has a SP influence. Keep on Rockin your videos! Cheers, HGT
I'm 16 years old and Gish, Siamese Dream, and Mellon Collie are all already so special to me. On the subject of Mellon Collie, my top 5 picks would be: Porcelina, Here is No Why, Tonight, Tonight, album piano theme, and Thru the Eyes of Ruby.
To me Mellon Collie…is just the intro to Tonight, Tonight. It’s one great piece and I can’t skip it. Love your story with growing up with this album.
So many amazing songs! SP is in my top 3 bands! They were so much a part of my teens and early 20s. I still remember going at midnight to TOWER RECORDS release party in Austin to buy my copy. Saw them 3 times before 2000 which is my idealized memory of this music! Hard for me sometimes to go see the bands of my youth now because it reminds me too much of my mortality LOL! Siamese Dream is still my fav but this is close second. It does have my favorite track 1979. Its nostalgia in music form
Thanks for sharing your experience with this album Jacob. I definitely get it brother this album set a path for me. I was already a fan but I'll never forget this tour. Your story of buying the cd reminded me of my own. After the year delay of shows the concert finally came back to town on Thanksgiving weekend Dec.1 opposite a Cowboys game in Dallas. Got in a big fight with mom and dad about getting to go. Turned our the parents were right, the traffic was crazy and they were right to not let us go on our own. Either way I had waited a year for that show, there was no way i wasn't going. I'd have walked. But fortunately, we came to a compromise. Dad was cool enough to take me and my friends 2.5 hours away and sat in the car during the show for over 4.5 hours before driving home. Must have been miserable. But I am forever grateful to dad for taking us. The show blew us away, you're right Billy was very aware of what was going on in the crowd and looked out for us when the stands cleared and rushed the stage before the 45 minute encore. Like you said it had been a rough year for them. The show was Amazing, and the wait was worth it. I've not seen one that could top it yet. Thanks for the story Jacob.
27 years later it's a memory they will never take from us. \ Thanks dad for taking us.
Everything you were saying about being sad and how Mellon Collie was such a comfort, I could totally relate. It got me through such tough times as music always did. I too had depression and anxiety young and still deal with it to this day. That underlying sadness never really leaves, I guess it's how we work with it daily, but music was always my home.
the sadness is... infinite
I'm binge listening on Spotify.....came here to comment. First off...I love what you're doing. Secondly thank you for the nostalgia. Thirdly...(is that a word?) ....anyway as a huge SP fan I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story of Zero.
Hey bro seriously great video. It's not easy to put yourself out there and I appreciate how you personal you made it. Don't listen to these kids most of them don't even realize how ignorant they are. Honestly I cringe everytime I hear them speak. So the reason you should make these videos is for people like me. I just ordered my box set yesterday and I am so stoked to get it. I wanted to check out some videos to see what others were saying about it and I watched 5 videos before yours and I couldnt even finish most of them. While I appreciate the effort they put into the videos there was a disconnect for me and they were pretty boring. Then I came to your video to and you had my attention the entire way through the video. The thing that is cool is while telling your story you actually told my story. I was 16 in 1995 starting another new school and didn't know anyone where I lived. My Dad took me to the record store and I got this CD admittedly it wasn't on release day (that's pretty awesome) but this album was definitely life altering for me and I played it over and over. I think it was the first album I had that not only did my parents or sister not even know who they were but had zero interest it and probably thought it was just racket and it made it even more special and I loved every song and it was also my gateway into discovering all the great music from other bands of our generation that spoke to us Green Day Dookie was another album tha comes to mind. I would say the most important thing about this album to me was that each song seemed to speak to me like no music ever had before and it let me know I wasn't alone in going through things and there were a lot of other people my age going through the same things as me and having the same feelings I had. That's when I knew that everything was going to be ok. I also wanted to say I am now 44 and I live to be goofy and silly and I am also very emotional and like you I have always had this feeling of Mellon collie inside and have always felt different than everyone and knowing they didn't have the same thoughts as I do. It's hard for me to sleep sometimes as things are racing around in my head and honestly sometimes it can even be scary. Ijist have to deal with it and that's it. Also don't let haters discourage you from doing what you like. Saying that you are too old that's ridiculous and it shows there immaturity. I don't feel any different now than I did 30 years ago and love a lot of the same things as a l did then, hell I still ride my skateboard time to time and do other things I've always done and if anyone has an issue with it then that's on them I am going to be me and enjoy the time I have here regardless what others think. Thanks again for they great video and please keep them coming 👍
Gosh this episode was long overdue! I am so happy how open and honest you were in this episode. I'm 27 and feel guilty about the amount of emotions I feel and this issue with having too much empathy. Makes me feel less alone tonight. Also, this album was phenomenal and it's awesome to hear the experience of someone who heard it for the first time when it just came out. Awesome job with this episode it is my favorite one ever from Waterproof Records ❤ had to comment that.
This is EXACTLY how i feel too. Jacob has so perfectly articulated something I’ve felt and struggled with my whole life. I felt everything he was saying. I feel the pain and the hurt of my own experiences like it was just yesterday and Jacob hid nothing here, his pain is so raw and real 🥺❤️
@@funboy46 this means a lot to me, thank you. I'm so grateful it resonated for you.
I really really appreciate this. Thank you
My intro to SP was 1st gf put Siva on a mixtape for me. We bought Siamese dream when it came out. With regards to Flood and his resume, he was a tea fetcher at some company, mute records perhaps. He produced Depeche Mode's Violator then U2 hired him for Achtung Baby.
Love this album since november-december 95, when I watched the video of bullet with butterfly wings on tv. Such a rollercoaster of emotions.
And you're not cringe in any capacity. Love your content. You seem a really cool mate. Keep going man!
Cheers
Wild. I also started a new high school when this album came out. My senior year at a new school. Awful. My favorite album from them. Trauma bonded. Haha
Wow! Loved your video! I’ve watched your short, comedy TIkTok stye stuff previously. This video, more serious, more confessional was really powerful. I loved everything that you said and I imagine many others will feel the same way.
I’m about 5 years older than you, was also a SP super fan. Gish, Siamese Dream meant everything to me. Maybe because I was already in college and perhaps more jaded, I always admired Mellon Collie, but back then (and still now), it was never in the same league as the other albums.
In The Smiths song, “Rubber Ring”, Moz references the songs that save your life. I think SP was and is that for so many people. Love him or hate him, Billy bares it all. Though it’s not as strong as Gish or Siamese Dream, the album that meant just as much to me on a personal level was the b-sides collection, Pisces Iscariot. It was like my companion. I remember reading Billy’s liner notes over and over again. It really helped me to survive that period of my life. Though I was happy enough as a dude, I always felt my super emotional side felt more female. A lot of the emotions I had I felt like my guy friends couldn’t connect with. Lyrically, I think one of Billy’s strongest songs is “Frail and Bedazzled” The title perfectly sums up the state of being super emotional and they lyrics I so connected with: “And all I wanted was to be a man. Since I gave up, I feel free!! (I feel free repeated over and over again)” The song became a mantra for me. To try to let go of expectations and become my own kind of super-sensitive guy.
Anyways, thank you so much for your video! Looking forward to checking out more.
-Larry
I just saw your short video about seeing Mayonaise for the first time. It touched me in my soul. This is the first video I am watching of yours. I feel I’m going to watch all your shit. Woot woot! I love The Pumpkins so much!
Same
Great episode Jacob! And no, it was NOT "cringe". (I think people that use that phrase had it used on them in high school and so now that their life has gone nowhere they project it onto people that appear even remotely happy in what they're doing!)
Like you this album played a huge part in my teen years. Born in '81, this album came out before I could drive a car which also meant it was before I had a job and my own regular cashflow to buy new albums. It must have been birthday or Christmas cash thdat allowed me to buy this treasure.
I can remember it being one of the few CDs I had to play on my AIWA portable CD player and I was hooked on Bullet and Zero. On a long trip somewhere I managed to listen all the way to Muzzle and was transfixed by it and thought it was the great thing ever.
Then I saw the video for Tonight, Tonight...
I still get goosebumps everytime it comes on. It's dynamic and majestic and it takes your mind, heart and whole being on a sonic adventure. Just love it.
Thanks for what you do. You are appreciated!
I appreciate YOU!!
This album was there for me when I needed it. I get what you're saying on 'cringe'. Such a buzz word for comments. Honesty, enthusiasm and real emotions speak to me. I'm to old for this cringe bs. People, make your comments have value.
Literally the words "The world is a vampire" changed my life. Had the same shirt from the 96 Tour in Rosemont
😮omg it has been 30 years since Siamese Dream. I don’t know why things like that still surprise me but they do.
PJ 20 made me feel old …and that was 12 YEARS AGO!… 😧
“A shadow that’s not that far behind a caped crusader along for the ride” that is my definition of my depression I dealt with since first can remember I’m 42.
This album hit me at the same time as you. It is my all time favorite in what it means to me. My wife knows to bury me with my Aeroplane boxset!
I’m 41. Same here man. Its hard to explain. Like magic.
Thank you for sharing this video! Your emotions and experience very much mirror mine from around 1995. This album saved me and still does. It was the first SP album I’d heard, actually had it on cassette and wore it completely out. I have of course since digested all Smashing Pumpkins which is equally special, but Mellon Collie holds a very special place in my heart and soul, and taught me what music could be. Every day as a young boy I would escape into the world that Billy paints sonically, lyrically and spiritually on MCIS. Glad to know there are kindred spirits out there, all I’ve got to do to get back there is put my headphones on and close my eyes.
❤❤❤❤
Please please please don't be sad when some random person on the internet writes that you are cringe. Why? 1. Most people love your videos. Two, three persons dont like it. So what? 2. The person that calls you cringe could be sad too and needs an outlet for his/her sadness by hurting others. 3. Your "short" for Mayonaise is already a classic. Greetings from Leipzig/ germany. 😌
If someone responds to something positive and heartfelt with "cringe" its usually because they are afraid of their own emotions and too immature to understand them. Thats been my experience.
Jacob thanks for sharing your story and all the emotions with this epic album. I was fully tuned in on all frequencies the whole way. MCIS can again and again bring me back to my youth feelings in the 90s…
What a wonderful inspirational video. Expressive and true. Aside from all of that, then we talk MATIS.... Beautiful album. Beautiful story telling. Keep it going my friend. We have lived a very similar life. It's great to hear another perspective.
“Intoxicated with the madness. I’m in love with my sadness”.
That was my MO for much of my life so I really understand where you are coming from.
It wasn’t until I was saved by Jesus Christ that he took my depression. It still comes back but not to the extreme and now can see through it with His help.
Please know I am not saying that to be preachy, I’m just sharing my honest experience.
Can relate so very much. The title of that record says it all. Been dealin with it for 30+ years both because of trauma and because of nothing at all.... never leaves. But music has always been my savior the shoulder for me to lean on. And MCIS is one of the records that to this day is still keeping me sane and moving forward. Dont know the man but Billy will have my gratitude for life even if he has no idea.
I’m close to your age (44) so like you I’m part of that generational divide between Gen X and Millennial, and the first 40 minutes of your video really resonated with me. It reminded me of those 2AM drives (or walks if we were tripping on acid) where we’d just talk about really deep shit, and many times this album would be playing. I really get it the part about that innate sadness. I too have every reason to be happy, my life is great. I’ve always thought of it as kind of a painful longing but still I totally get it. Gonna sub to your channel!
This album is like a day and night with magical things in between ✨
Went through a similar period in my youth and Mellon Collie was the album of my teens. Love it till today.
And with regards to that hole in your heart - let God fill up that space :) He loves you beyond measure.
Thanks for the awesome album review!
I recently found your channel! Class of 98 here! Smashing Pumpkins was such an influence in my teen years. What I’m shocked about is that you haven’t done any shows on Blind Melon. They were that band for me. Great channel and thank you for sharing.
I’m on the same timeline as you JG, fell in love with SD, went back to Gish and then MCIS release became the biggest event in my life… SD changed me surely and permanently, but MCIS was THE era of the band and I thankfully had it become the soundtrack to the death of my childhood and the birth of my awakening/becoming myself. The proper MCIS album might not be the polished gem that SD is… BUT the MCIS “era” is the band’s pinnacle (with TAFH box set and all those amazing b-sides being essential when speaking about MCIS) - i feel so blessed to have been the perfect age to grow up with the band, and have MCIS as my musical rite of passage. Great vid brother, again thanks for sharing your personal stories too, 90s teenage doom, man what a tough time, but we’re all the better for it! 💪✊
Dude your channel is amazing. We must be around the same age I was born in 81 and all the reactions videos of hearing all those bands is exactly what it was like in the 90s
what a beautiful video, I got emotional along with you, I suffer from depression too, sometimes there are days when I can barely get out of bed, the only joy I have in life is music, I started watching your videos and I thought you were super funny and charismatic, I never imagined you suffered from that too. In the end, my first contact with SP was with melon colie, I'm Brazilian and here in the 90s things took a long time to arrive, I remember in 98/99 watching the video for Tonight Tonight and damn I was a kid and that made me It caught my attention, I found everything magical, SP has a gift for awakening nostalgia in me. When I heard it for the first time, I felt an emotion that I still didn't know how to explain, nowadays when I watch Tonight or 1979 I get emotional. truth of the desire to go back in time. As for being "cringe", I also hate that word, I think it always comes out of the mouths of people who are bitter about life and you're not cringe, you're incredible, I get music recommendations from you every day. Here in Brazil we have a band called (Legiao urbana)I wanted to recommend you,they started in postpunk and then with the departure of the bassist they changed the sound to something more acoustic the vocalist is known for writing strong lyrics that most of our people identify with, and because of the musical sensitivity I was already moved a lot listening to them, a song called "vento no litoral",it would be cool if you could hear it with the lyrics, the vocalist also had depression and passed away in 97, I usually say that if he were English or American he would be like Ian Curtis or bob dylan.
Pure, direct, open. Wonderful. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing. This album hit me at a similar time in my life. My undiagnosed mental illness was still brewing out of my adolescent years, and I constantly felt misunderstood in all of my high school social circles. I bought this on CD in 2005 and played it nonstop to escape and engage with in the feelings expressed by corgan and co. You also nail it on cringe commentary. Those people are afraid to be themselves, something I believe melon collie helped me embrace. Cheers, plus one subscriber!
Man i loved your whole take, huge SP fan myself and man i totally get what you say and share that feeling, thanks for this
Thank you for sharing your very personal story of your joinery with this album!
I was 12 when it came out and I got it from my step dad for Christmas that year. I remember as adolescents, my friend and I just laying in the dark listening to this album like it was our generation’s The Wall. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and was always and still am proud that they are a Chicago band.
Also, the perspective you give on the internet trolls and haters is spot on! It’s very sad how much of that is out there! Anyway, you just scored yourself a subscriber Keep up the great work!
Great album and great video. We are the same age, happy birthday! You capture this album the experience of the mid-90's well. Also, thanks for the five minutes or so in the middle. Be proud of being able to share your experience in such a raw, honest, and vulnerable way. You are doing a great job, keep it up!
The most memorable album drop for me was Rancid's Life Won't Wait in 1998, not because I was a huge fan but my best friend was. This summer I'll see Pumpkins and Rancid together with green day at the ballpark in Philly.
I already bought MCIS three times. First in 1995 which was stolen from me years later from someone trying to steal my car radio. Second one I got in the US, it had the double jewel case and the mentioned brown booklet with the lyrics, I gave it to a friend later as a gift. Now on my third copy of it, I still listen to it every week, it's my choice of best album of all times, can't live without it. Subscribed, I believe you are the one on that youtube short of Mayonnaise blowing your face? That made made me laugh, love the ending. You rock
Best album ❤❤❤
Can't wait to see them in August. Great video man !!!
Keep doing what your doing mate. Love you from Australia
Dude...just found your channel! Seen your posts before and thought they were funny, but I totally identify with you .. we're the same age and I was a junior when this came out as well.The pumpkins are my favorite band of all time. Thanks for the memories!
I was in 11th grade. Our group of "freaks" had a countdown to the release date on our creative writing chalkboard. She let us have it up for a month or so all the way to release day. Honestly, for me it's not my favorite of theirs and I don't go back and listen to it, but still have the CD I bought on release day. At the time I was transitioning from "alternative" to The Grateful Dead and Phish. I'm going to listen to it this weekend thanks for your take on this album.
35:46 been watching the video till here and just had to pause for a second to say that I can so relate to you at 25, I mean I'm also a sensitive person and I feel like I've matured earlier than most people my generation thanks to some stuff I went through, also been wanting to disappear for different periods of my life since the age of 8! xD I feel very similar to you, TSP so good also!!
Just went to The World is a Vampire concert and IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!
I saw them on September 7th, 1996 infinite sadness tour. They played 12 songs off this album, 4 from Siamese Dream, and 1 from Gish. 4 months later I'd see Billy close the show with Bowie at Bowie's 50th bday at MSG. They played All The Young Dudes and Jean Genie together. Just before All the Young Dudes Bowie leans towards the mic and says " I wrote a song bout him." and nods towards Billy.
This is by far my fav SP album, at the time I was disappointed at the recording/sound quality.. the bar was high with Siamese.. years later, I got it on vinyl and through my fancy studio speakers I LOVE hoy it sounds.
Long time pumpkin fan too and yes, we do feel they way you do!
Dude, the music keeps you going.
The 20th anniversary reissue is and even better album, and has twice as many songs.
Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness is my favorite album ever. In fact, yesterday was my first year anniversary of discovering this magnus opus of music. October 11th of 2022 was a day to remember. I'm 17 going into 18 soon so I haven't had a lot of experience with this album yet, but one year later and it still sounds fresh. I have the Double CD, Double Cassette, 4 LP Box Set, and a few other items with this album. I can't describe how awesome, beautiful, and amazing this album is. My story is similar to Jacob Givens' minus the depression portion of it. I moved last year and have had a lot of emotions when listening to it while I was moving. I'm not going to comment on it too much because I am planning on doing a livestream on my channel on October 24th making this the 28th birthday of this amazing masterpiece. I'll also be talking about other things regarding my channel and music I have discovered. I don't have a specific time yet, but if anyone is interested, come check it out. I'll have updates on my channel and I'll reply or edit this comment once I have a specific time on that day. Anywho, great episode on the podcast. It's awesome to have a connection with someone that loves this album as much as I do. Keep doing you man. Music is an essential part of my life also. I love the enthusiasm and passion that you present when talking about music.
Edit: This is still one of my favorites, but my bloody valentine's loveless is probably my favorite. I'm currently stuck on Public Enemy and they're album Fear Of A Black Planet. I was never a huge rap fan, but I love good old school rap and Hip-hop from the late 80's to mid-2000's.
Jacob thank you so much for this podcast! A big hug from a Pumpkins' fan from Argentina 🇦🇷❤️. I'm your age ( turn 46 on August) and I'm also a big Nirvana fan ( Grunge music in general is MY thing, as well as The Beatles) and a big HUM fan too!! Saw your Hum podcast too and I LOVE IT!!. Please, we need more podcast like this. You have my entire support.😊😊😊
P.S. you didn't mention the last track on the second album " Farewell and Goodnight" IMO, a beautiful closure of this MONUMENTAL piece of art!! 😊😊
You're very welcome! Thank you! I did mention Farewell and Goodnight at the 57:06 portion of the show, you just missed it! :)
@@JacobGivens ups! My mistake° 😅 (°btw, another gem from the Pumpkins !) Did you see the acoustic show someone upload to RUclips 3 days ago? An acoustic live performance from the Siamese Dream release party!!
Tulsa? Were you aware of Tulsa's counterculture history when you lived there? Larry Clark's book Tulsa, S.E. Hinton's novels, the Rumble Fish movie masterpiece, Woody Guthrie, the underground tunnels Waite Phillips had built because of his fear after the Lindbergh baby case? I travelled to Tulsa in 2018 to tap into all that and it was more incredible than I can get into at the moment, but we're you on to those things when you lived there?
We are so much alike my brother!!!!!!!❤❤
re the 'cringe' bit you talked about halfway through:
I think people call things cringe because they're forced to fill in the gaps themselves when they're exposed to something they can't relate to. They attribute and impose qualities that may or may not be there, truthfully, but regardless of that fact they cannot see it in the way being communicated. I can't say I haven't thought certain things were 'cringe', but I also am left wondering if I'm missing out at the same time because I don't understand.
For me, MCIS was something that immediately stood out as something special and changed how I appreciated music from that moment on. Very important album to me.
I can understand your definition of cringe and I appreciate it. But I believe I'll always view it as a soul sucking word. It's only aim to diminish the person it's said to. But I'm glad the album means a lot to you too.
I had also a terrible experience in elementary and junior highschool, right about the same time MCIS and ADORE came out
I'm sorry that you endured that terrible time too. Grateful the music kept us going.
40 year old Pumpkin Head here. "Cringe" is subjective anyway. My friends adored Nirvana, I thought they were "Cringe" hahah!
the first cd got played until it was stuffed - and then second cd was better anyway 🤯
Best album ever! EVER!!!!!!!
"Things are gonna change, i can feel it" in your intro is from Beck "Loser". 😌
I burnt out those pink and blue discs at that time!!
How is that Lost Highway record changing colour?
It’s called a Vylumi! It’s an amazing startup company that sent me one. No heat is emitted at all and you can display your cool records with splatters and colors etc
@@JacobGivens Sick! I laughed so hard at your 'guy with an acoustic guitar at a party' video. Keep doing what makes you happy man. I was the same age and experiencing similar emotions - albeit due to different experiences - when this album came out. It really spoke and ''offered a hand'' to lonely/sad teenagers like us.
This doesn’t have anything to do with this video, but can you please do a video about green apple quickstep… That is a really good album. Plus, you probably know stone Gossard produced it…. that would be great. Thank you.
I had the heart black shirt also
Nice video. Where did you get that LED vinyl light thing?
Thank you! It's called a Vylumi! The guy who makes them is Andrew and he is awesome. Search them up online at Vylumi.
@@JacobGivens thanks!
Big deal for me as well.
My fav album.
whats the song in the intro ??
I wrote it. It's the Waterproof Records theme song.
Come on man. this is ridiculous
there is such a thing as cringe but it's not people who express their love of something, those people who do nothing but criticize is cringe, all these videos about "oVerAteD" things are cringe