"Why would I need to help you if you were already getting straight As?" Parents need to understand that gifted children are special needs children. If they're getting straight As *without effort* they are not only not developing the work habits that other kids learn who *need* to put in effort, but they're being *rewarded* for not putting in effort. They're learning *exactly the wrong thing*, that success can come without effort. It's a developmental disaster. The problem is that most people, your parents included, don't understand that the most important thing kids need to learn in school isn't the information pumped into them, it's *how to operate themselves*. School is less of a supply store of data and more of a gym to work out in. Picking up the weights isn't about taking the weights home, it's about taking home the *effect* picking up the weights has on you. To get a positive effect, you have to lift enough weight to tax your strength. If you don't, you're just wasting your time.
As a kid who was considered gifted after testing in K-12 this is ultimately the most true thing I’ve ever read in regards to my schooling. I rarely, _rarely_ studied for any exams and I passed most things with little effort. As a result, I now struggle in the real world because I was raised with this concept that I can achieve things with little effort. It also didn’t help that I picked up on their teaching methods that often contrasted quite heavily with the tests and exams themselves. Often the curriculum in a classroom would “overteach” let’s call it, and the exams would often be a lot easier, which I picked up on. I realized that what they would teach would not be proportional to the content on the exams, which led me to find even less reason to study since I knew it would be overcompensating for the test itself. Secondly, the part about school being, effectively, a gym rather than a place for data storage is ultimately very true as well. School is, or at least, should be, a place to teach critical thinking skills. The information rots, but the processes by which you obtained that information should be retained during a decade of schooling. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he will feed a village.
The Best solution is making curriculams that chalanges them the same way normal curriculams challenges the average kids So thing that respect their brain u know And then they learn to work Hard cuz they're facing same amount of challenges as an average kid And also making them use the most of thire potentials Every special needs kid need curriculams & study enviroment that is most suitable for them
One thing I have thought about is that many "gifted kids" gets into a spiral of "I could have done it if I tried", when seeing others succeed using their hard work. If you try to escape the "I could have done it if I tried", and attempt to see yourself as something else than a gifted child, it helps you understand what you need to do in order to accomplish what the hard working people are accomplishing.
@@InternetCrusader-rb7ls It means that the 'gifted kids' still think highly of themselves even after failing, they think that they could have aced the tests if they had tried, but since they were not interested in studying they didn't put in much effort so they failed. This mind set is very unhealthy. It could make one feel really under confident and regretful in the long run. So what they need is a reality check and humble themselves.
Nice to hear that he's a psychiatrist that helps to *solve problems*. Much of depression is the feeling of being incapable of solving our problems. Making us *capable* is a better solution than making us not feel so bad about being *incapable*.
I agree. However if you have grown up in a household where you were punished for not being able to do things this could be a problem. This is my problem. It's hard growing up thinking there's something wrong with you.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 Negative judgment from parents can be a demoralizing and terrifying thing. I think the letting go is of guilt and shame for having some incapacities. I've got issues. Feeling bad about them only piles on more issues. Jordan B. Peterson - 12 Rules for Life Rule 2 Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. Would you judge a friend with your incapacities as harshly as you judge yourself? Compassion isn't just for other people.
Exactly my issue as an adult (besides never learning to study because i never had to) is that i am incredibly forgetful. They game me antidepressants and anxiolytics for 10 years, til i decided to stop it because they weren't helping. I do not know why we live in a culture were even (most) doctors only treat/hide the symptoms, NOT the cause. If someone says they have knee pain, they give them pain killers instead of checking the knee 😳
@@letsreadtextbook1687 like the video of parents teaching their kid even where they laid out answer and even whispering answer to the kid ear. The kid still give wrong answer because the kid "Feel" That was the right thing maybe?
This video blew my mind. I'm 40 now. As a kid I cruised through pre-school and then through school with incredible ease. I instantly understood all subjects at school, could do my homework 10 minutes before class and didn't need to study. The knowledge just... poured in. I was most teachers' favourite. Straight A's in all subjects. Getting diplomas for my school in regional competitions in maths, languages and even third place in carpentry competition (90s education for boys, haha). Then without even preparing I got into one of the best high-schools in my city, went through all three exams to get in with ease. And then I hit that wall you described in the video. I hit it so hard... I was suddenly in an environment with many talented students, all having worked hard to get there. And they kept working hard. And suddenly I couldn't just cruise and started falling behind. Fast forward to today, I've been in therapy for many years, dealing with depression and struggling with life. And the moment you said that it's not the therapy I need but instead I have to LEARN HOW TO FOCUS AND DO THINGS. It genuinely blew my mind. I hope this is the key I've been looking for.
Completely understand. I was nowhere close to the ease you had, but I performed well enough, was sharp and creative, and mostly was just left alone. By high school I hit a wall, but the structure and support forced me to eventually put in the extra effort push over it. But then out the other side of that it became much harder in university and in work, trying to reconcile my inherent abilities & my natural ambition with my clear limitations in discipline. This along with the recent revelation of having moderate ADHD my entire life without knowing. But there is certainly some blurry overlap there. I'm also hoping this works. Sometimes a simple framework + motivation + placebo effect is all you need to move forward. But with some of these lifelong issues, it's hard to predict. So, also going to bring some radical acceptance into the picture.
@@ilikepingpong what did the realization of having moderate ADHD bring for positive effects? Are you treating it and does it get better or do you just feel like you understand yourself better. I see that so often these days that people figure out they are either autistic or have ADHD but I never know what that late knowledge does for you.
@@BigBootyBatman That's a good question. But first off, I will quote Dr. Russell Barkley in saying "a trait is a disorder when it becomes an impairment". So not everyone will be impaired by traits of ADHD or autism. It's going to vary A LOT person to person. ADHD is a spectral & multi-dimensional disorder, like autism. But also the issue of lifestyle, career type, health, etc., all make it extremely variable. For example, I did not feel noticeably impaired until I started working from home + long covid brain fog. My evaluation was just in February so I'm still sorting through it all. But the overwhelming message I hear is that learning you have ADHD as an adult is a "good news" diagnosis because "things can only get better" as you do something about it. So that's the hope in knowing. It may not be true 100% of the time, but there is potential there to learn more about your limitations, then take steps to account for them in your life & alleviate them as much as possible. For a lot of people, simply taking ADHD medication can help a lot, even from day one. I'm still on that path of trying medication. But I think it is motivating for me to know, because I had been feeling impaired, and that was getting confusing and starting to weigh heavily on me. Why? Are you thinking you might have some of this?
I wasn't a gifted kid, but the "studying to teach someone else" method works. I used to re-read my notes out loud as if I was lecturing a crowd and it used to help with memorization of facts and concepts.
Yeah, same here. Whenever I'm studying I read out loud and move around and throw gestures like I'm trying to explain it to someone. Plus try to imagine the thing in your head as you're 'explaining'.
@@vaisakh_km not necessarily, I wasnt a gifted kid but I just studied my ass off to get grades as good as the gifted kids, thus, people came to me for help.
The "study to teach" method really is a game changer. It puts me into a new mindset and turns the whole thing into a challenge. Some things that I do that helped keep this idea engaging is to imagine my audience, try to put everything on 1 page (per topic), put all concepts into drawings, and basically outline it so that if I need to refer back to my notes, I will find the information I need in no more than a few seconds. It turns the whole note-taking process into its own game and when I did this, I always had the best notes. Oh and also, try studying and note-taking on NOT lined paper - like just computer paper. For me, it helps my ideas flow easier like you're just writing on a small white board copy n pasted
I guess I've been a lucky gifted kid. I was in boarding school and we had 3h every evening in a big study room. We had to remain silent and study. I was done after less than 30 minutes and was watching the others wondering what they were doing. It was becoming really boring and I fell a bit like tortured. When the nuns saw that I didn't need those 3h, they pulled me out of that study room and asked me to give tutoring to my classmates! What a great idea! They were fabulous. Older, I was given «enrichement challenges» that were not in the curriculum but so much fun because I was allowed to leave the classroom and work in the library or the craft room depending on the challenge. Now, as a teacher, I'm also working on a PhD, and for the first time, I really struggle. But... I found the pomodoro technique and it works like magic. I even do pomorodo sessions online with my students. During the breaks, I clean the house. 5 minutes for the toilet, five minutes of filling the dishwasher, five minutes to start a laundry load. My house is cleaner when I have to work!
@@msislam6751 I was a class topper. My subject is roughly how to teach learning skills to college students in regular classes so that they can reduce their feeling of being overloaded. Lots of fun 🙂 That why I'm really interested in this YT channel. Lots of good hints.
17:16 jesus christ this hit me hard. I've been diagnosed with anxiety as a kid and depression as a teen and was medicated both times but I was never able to fix anything. This whole video describes my situation perfectly and I'm in my last year of university still suffering with each assignment and feeling like the scum of the earth. I guess I can at least apply this now, better late and never.
You might want to look into ADHD - maybe get evaluated for it if it resonates with you. I've been struggling since end of high-school and have also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but medication did not help that much. Many years later, I got diagnosed with ADHD and it turns out that the depression was caused by it. If that's what you have, you're not lazy - your mind just works differently and it takes a lot more effort to focus on tasks. There are ways to treat it.
@@christina_cl i’m really annoyed because i’ve been diagnosed with adhd but taking meds isn’t helping much. even got a higher dosage recently. so annoying cuz i feel like i take foreeeever doing assignments.
“100 wells dug one-foot-deep” - That should be my epitaph 😂. I was both a gifted child and eventually a therapeutic-day-school / special education / self-mutilating / nonverbal child who took five years to finish high school. I remember that when I TA’d sections in graduate school, I’d skim the 90 pages the undergrads were supposed to read on the 15-minute bus ride to my section and teach it for 50 minutes . . . so I guess I learned conceptual learning thru procrastination 😅
1) Eu-stress, there should be some stress to make it feel like you are constantly challenging yourself 2)Teaching peers 3)You are gonna get bored and need dopamine: Use Pomodoro technique with breaks, walking breaks no mental stimulation 4)Keep distractions away physically and lay out study material resources. 5)Physically writing stuff. 6)Revise stuff. 1 Pomo at least.
It's even worse than the parent abrogating responsibility because you're getting good grades in primary school. Many parents (like mine) blame and punish the kid for doing poorly when the lack of skills finally catches up with them. This is even more damaging than just believing you're lazy.
This reminds me of the time I got an 88 in a class(semester grade thing). It was a parent teacher thing and my mom started talking loudly (almost yelling) about it. I don't remember what she said exactly, because this was in like 6th grade. She was mad that I might not get into college for free. I don't even want to go to college, and it's mainly because she was so obsessed that I may get into it for free. Lmao the irony.
omg.... this guy is a genius.. i think the reason i was so motivated as a kid was because i subconsciously and semi consciously always took on the role of teacher towards my peers.... but when they stopped needing me as a mentor as they grew older, i completely lost all motivation, hated school, didnt care about anything or anyone.... fell into deep deppression... grades plummeted
Honestly…as soon as he said try thinking of studying to teach rather than to learn I instantly got more interested and it was like I just had gained some more clarity. I suppose giving the task a bigger purpose rather than just to serve myself made me more motivated, especially since I love being able to help others understand concepts too.
When he said that, I instantly thought about the differences between my autistic "rabbit hole" research marathons and the course work that I have to do for my college classes. I always enjoy sharing the knowledge I acquire when I spend time researching my various interests, but I only read enough for my classes to do the homework and pass the tests
@@shadowfox933 i had a bachelor degree that is in line with my "rabbit hole" research marathon but at my current job im unable to apply that knowledge, currently applying for a master's degree scholarships that would help me specialize and find better work where i can apply those research marathons and share it to other people/contribute to my workplace
That's a fantastic way to put it. I find that the "gifted person" always seeks to fulfill something greater than themselves. And tend to work harder so as not to disappoint or let others down. So if that's the motivation, it might be a smarter idea to keep that in mind while trying to complete tasks. And I find it interesting that it is one of the defining traits of the historical Melancholy temperament, which is believed to be the temperament of most gifted people.
Yea same, but at the same time I know theres no one I can actually teach this to or that is willing to listen and even if you find some group on discord they wont care or they;; have too much knowledge on the subject and correct me every other second.
I got the feeling "he is just like me!!" meme, the parents never worring if I got an A+, then hitting a wall, being diagnosed with depresion, the thing that I I hate to review my notes. It's always a bliss feeling that it's not just me
I've always found for me personally one of the best ways to spend my break is doing a very simple task that allows me to process what ive done whilst still maintaining the feeling of productivity. The biggest one for me is going to do the dishes or doing a quick clean of the kitchen.
This really shows how great my teachers were in school. They had us sit in teams of 4 and when we were doing any work you would have to ask the other kids in your group for help before you could ask the teacher. This meant the smart kids could be more engaged teaching the material to someone else, and the kids who needed more help had someone right there to help them. And on top of that taught great teamwork.
No, it’s a totally CRAP idea if YOU are the smartest one in every group, every time, because THAT kid *never, ever experiences work at the level THEY are capable of doing* . NEVER. What we *become* is UNPAID TUTORING SUPPORT and it utterly, absolutely sucks more and more over time- the rocket fuelled mind forced to work at the clown car pace benefits everyone BUT the rocket fuelled mind. I ended up refusing to become the resource after *teaching my year 10 HISTORY CLASS for the year* because I knew more about the subject than the teacher did- we had so much engagement as a class because I was totally into the subject and made it come alive, we acted things out because I was also the main writer for the entire high school’s drama production that year, but I realised I was being used and ended up refusing to do it anymore.
Now that you mention it..... I did enjoy those kinds of settings because I usually was the person in the group others would ask for help with. I was happy to do so for their benefit. It also helped me to develop the skill of seeking help from the other students who got the few things I'd get hung up on and frustrated with because this setting was normalized.
The intro absolutely described my early childhood till Standard 6 life. And after that all the way especially in my bachelor degree life, I really felt overwhelmed and boring, everything just started to fell apart in my academic performance. It is just not only me alone who think I was lazy, even my parents and teachers condemned me being lazy.
have the same expirience now, just walked through school never learning, doing homework etc. and now I'm studying computer science and it''s so hard being focused and not just go thinking 'ah yeah that's easy i gonna look at it at home' and then being f*cked when the exams come around or you need to do some assignments instead of exams.
@DemonFranki I'm so glad I'm not alone. I'm lucky enough that I've been able to learn what I need to in IT fast enough to get tasks done but as far as studying for higher lever certs I can't seem to sit down or stay focused enough.
Yeah i feel you guys, my time in engineering course was a big pain. If the subject was something I liked in the course it won't be too annoying for me to put through with it but when I was facing some really boring subjects that and I just can't sit down and study it.
Same, but till I got admitted to a good college for my graduation. Everything was easy. Then suddenly everything was hard. I just felt so stupid, and developed this huge impostor syndrome. Eventually I found these videos and they kinda helped me out.
This video found me at a perfect time. I just turned 28 and have for a decade now struggled with the concept of higher learning. I was a good student who never needed to study but I always failed to do homework and long form projects without just procrastinating until the night before. I recently determined I wanted to go back to school to be a structural engineer and I think spending this summer relearning how to learn will give me the confidence to actually succeed
i can relate as well. one time i had trouble with my homework and my dad scolded me and called me dumb and said "you got a 99 on the last test, so how come you can't even do this?" and i just never asked again. my mom actually can't speak english so i could never ask her anything about school. this video helped me a lot.
Thank you. A lot. As the gifted kid, like other people watching, this video has taught me more about how to study than absolutely any other video or guides that I tried to follow. That felt like a cursed loophole of trying to find something new, trying, failing and back at it. I'm not gonna say that they are bad, but they definitely lack the "human nature" variable in the equation, which makes some or even many people feel left behind. This is the video that I could find myself in and undestand everything behind the "why's" in my behavior. It has been great implimenting everything together with other videos, but this is where I started 😁
As a gifted kid, something that really helped me last semester in my second year of college was switching from a "school" mindset to a "work" mindset. I found that in my professional career life I can be really dedicated and just work, whereas I'll see my coworkers on their phones, etc. And what I found is that when I treat school like I'm trying to impress a boss, it's like I totally forget about all of the GT barriers, and I learn like I'm trying to earn.
I'd say that the essence of it is to fake-till-you-make into something intentional or meaningful that you want or consider to be. Even as simple as teaching a kid but _done professionally._
that... is actually quite smart... working rn for money to go finish school, and I feel that at work I often direct myself differently. Ive realized it is MUCH easier for me to do something FOR OTHERS compared to myself, a mix of me feeling like I dont deserve anything, being ok with stagnation/rot for myself, maybe some other stuff but for myself I dont do sht, for others I feel like I need to... Anyways, ill try when I go back to finish my postsecondary with the view of it being a job
" studying to teach " really hit me I don't know if i am a gifted kind of kid, but one of my bad trait is that i put all of my value into being useful towards another people. i have an above average academic stuff, so by that i learned stuff for the purpose of teaching the rest of my classmate, and seeing their reaction with being helped really made me happy sometimes
I've never considered myself gifted, but everyone around me was saying that I'm super smart and "have a bright mind" or something like that and to be a straight As (or in my country "5"s) I needed to be more hardworking so each year I would study harder and harder without getting any better results. By the last couple years of middle school my week almost entirely consisted of going to school and doing homework/preparing for tests. Now that I finished school I have no friends, no social skills to make new ones in uni and I have a lot of trouble studying in a university. I wish I had this video a bit earlier in my life, but I hope that it'll help me with my current studies
absolutely, this is exactly what needed for uni than for just school studying is uni is astronomically bigger than that in schools..... and in school, we can just get pass though, but in uni, failing is failing
That definetly feels depressing, at the end of the day you are the one who knows your situation best, but since you pulled that performance in middle school, I'm sure you can pull it again right now in uni and in your life all togheter
This applied very well to me as ADHD and autistic. We also often learn unconventional strategies to get around the hurdles including our own disabilities/neuroatypicalities and their lack of accommodation in society.
Just been diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD 3 months shy of turning 40 and this resonates in a painful way. Thank you Dr. K for putting all this out there
Thank you, I personally immensely appreciate your explanation of what I consider my fall, when I reached 17 and the " I just have to pay attention in class stopped to work". I didn't knew how to study, started to skip classes, and fell in a very dark place. As a curious kid that always liked to learn, part of my pride was in it and falling behind was devastating for me. I had to rebuild a good part of my expectations, the bases that sustained me. Got a lot of wisdom through it, but it was really painful. Nowadays, I got to live the live as I want to, according to the values and expectations that I build by myself, which is nice. But that fall... Still stings. I really hope that this video helps kids that are falling in the pit at this moment. Again, thank you for share you wisdom, it's safe to say that is helping a lot of us in many ways. P.D. I'm Spanish, not used to write in English, so sorry if I hurt your eyes.
En cuanto empecé a leer tu comentario pensé q lo estaba escribiendo yo mismo, porque es por lo que estoy pasando justo ahora mismo. Gracias por compartir tu experiencia y darme un poco de ánimo, creo que necesitaba escuchar que esto le pasaba a más gente y que se puede salir de aquí.
This is why we need honors programs for gifted kids (and start earlier and make them harder).They need to be challenged at their level. Some school districts are trying to take them away. We probably need gifted kid special ed too.
In the meantime there are plenty of ways to challenge yourself like learning advanced math and physics, reading classical literature, etc … I think being self directed is a better strategy than hoping the establishment will solve your problem for your.
@@ABC-jq7ve I feel like this is the issue. These are really tricky things to do by yourself so generally gifted kids will just brush it off as something they can't do because it takes so much discipline and effort
Agreed. I believe that we gifted kids will benefit more if we had a whole different program of our own. Perhaps this is just the case for my MS, but honor classes there are very easy. The only difference between honors and acedemic was just the tests, which are slightly harder.
My district actually has a program for gifted kids which runs from 3rd to 6th grade. Apparently they’re thinking about removing it from what I’ve heard from my friends in that class. Honestly I feel like they still could’ve done it better as I do feel like I still breezed through those years for the most part.
Also I think that grading is failing us, because it doesn't separate "success" from "effort". I had high success, but low effort. I would get near-perfect grades on all of my tests- I was successful. However, I would do homework last minute or skip it altogether, I didn't take notes in class, and I never studied. My effort was low. But why was my effort low? Because the classes were too easy. I was bored out of my mind every time I would do math problem sets, because it was just doing the same thing over and over again. I understood the process after the one or two practices we did in class, so I didn't get anything out of doing the problem sets. But of course, the fact that I didn't do my homework meant that I never got good grades. Teachers and administrators then look at my list of B+es and B-es, and they go "oh, this girl definitely DOES NOT belong in advanced math/science/english/history/whatever" Of course, that's wrong. I was getting bad grades because the classes weren't challenging enough to engage me. Had I actually ever gotten put into those advanced classes, I would have needed to start putting in that effort to start succeeding as much as I was before. Naturally, that didn't happen until college. I went into more difficult classes and I suddenly would have benefitted from taking notes. But how do I take notes. And I would have benefitted from studying, but how do I study? I would have benefitted from asking for help, but how do I ask for help? I eventually figured it out, but that transition was tough. The one thing that kept me going is that for the first time ever, I was genuinely interested in every single one of my classes.
The "study to teach" method really is a game changer. It puts me into a new mindset and turns the whole thing into a challenge. Some things that I do that helped keep this idea engaging is to imagine my audience, try to put everything on 1 page (per topic), put all concepts into drawings, and basically outline it so that if I need to refer back to my notes, I will find the information I need in no more than a few seconds. It turns the whole note-taking process into its own game and when I did this, I always had the best notes. Oh and also, try studying and note-taking on NOT lined paper - like just computer paper. For me, it helps my ideas flow easier like you're just writing on a small white board
I actually dropped off from school during the pandemic because of this. In-person lectures were never a problem because I would just absorb all the info, but I started struggling so much with online classes. I got frustrated that I wasn't understanding anything, started losing motivation, failed some classes, lost my parent's support, and had to drop out and get a job 🙃 But now I least I know there's some science behind it, so I'll definitely use these tips to learn how to study by myself
I was in the honors program for gifted students all throughout my life. In there I was the top student. I almost always got the highest score in every test. My grades were perfect. But with being so called “gifted” also came with a lot of stress. It also caused me to become a perfectionist. If I don’t get a perfect score, even if I got the highest score, I feel like I failed. I study a lot. I study when I come home from school, I wake up extra early to study. I study hard to get the perfect grade and when I do, I’m satisfied for a couple minutes and then I go back to studying and stressing about my next exam. This causes me a lot of stress but I try not to show it. Being a perfect student also came with very high expectations from those around me. Everyone would know me for being academically brilliant, especially in science and math. Many people thought I would become a scientist, a doctor or a professor or something. But I don’t want to be any of those things. I don’t even like math or science much, I’m just very good at them because of how much I study. Instead I’d like to be a playwright and a performer because I’m very into theatre. But unfortunately in my country theatre isn’t cared about, at all. Whenever I tell people about my dream they’re like “It would be better if you do something with science and math.” “Science can take you to better places in life.” I honestly have no intention on studying anything related to math or science past high school. I intend on studying so much that I get accepted to a great university for drama in the UK or in US. But I feel this immense pressure on me. I feel like if I follow my dream I would be seen as a “failed genius”. My family wants me to be a scientist as well. Because both my parents are scientists and their parents were also scientists, my parents friends are also scientists. They’ve also spent a lot of money for my tutoring classes, my textbooks and I don’t want to disappoint them. I’m also an only child so I feel like I have to make them proud. There is also the loneliness that comes with it. I have no friends. That might not sound like a problem but it is. All I want is a single friend who understands me. I often fantasize about having friends, I write about it as well, it’s kinda like an escape for me. Despite being in the same high school for one and a half years (I’m currently in the 10th grade), all people talk to me is about how my grades are. I also get some very jealous treatment from others, sometimes verbal bullying, because I didn’t share my answers with them and quote “think I’m so much better than them.”, when I really don’t. There’s a bit of popularity that comes with it as well but I have no actual friends. I tried to make friends before but everyone’s in their individual friend groups and it’s very hard to just “blend in”. I sometimes wish I never tried so hard in school, and was only seen for my creativity for writing and acting. Maybe then people wouldn’t see me just as the “smartest girl in school”. But on the bright side my journey isn’t over yet. If I get into my dream university when I graduate I feel like I can finally be seen as me instead of “the smartest girl in school”. I haven’t told my parents about my dreams yet but they’re great parents. They probably won’t agree with my future decisions but they will try to be supportive.
I can not emphasis this enough: Do what *you* want to. Do not chiose the path your parents want for you.they actually want the best for you and the best thing for you to do is to listen to your career wishes. After high school, people are supposed to start their adult life. And it consists of making your own decisions, even if you will fail. Because to be appropriate 30 year old, you have to do a lot of trial and error earlier in your life. And if you choose to "not make mistakes"=listen to your parents, you won't learn anything and will have to do your iwn learning later on, when it will be inappropriate and maybe even embarrassing. I've seen some thirty years old who still haven't grown uo and I actually feel sorry for them. Would not recommend.
@@monikap8777 Thank you. I hope to pursue *my* dreams instead of my parents dreams. But the thing is, my dreams aren’t as secure as my parents expectations. Scientists make good money as long as they work hard. But playwrights make money _if_ people like their plays. A playwright’s reputation is also a lot easier to ruin than a scientist’s reputation, one controversial play or thing said/done in public and bam! the media hates you. Also, being a playwright isn’t even a job in my country, so I’d have to leave my home country to study university and that would most likely cause me to graduate with debt which would be hard to pay off. But despite all that, I’d rather be a playwright to follow my passion instead of becoming a scientist to achieve my parents expectations.
@@MinisDunyasi5 @@MinisDunyasi5 from my own experience, I can assure you that choosing what you actually do not feel is for you will be the mest expensive. If you choose to pursue being a scientist and that's not what you actually want, two things will happen :either you won't even be able to finish the college because it will make you sick to study it, or you will finish it and become sick later on when you realise you hate it. Dunno what your beliefs are, but I believe there is a right path that God wants as on, and if we choose it he will provide all that is necessary, we shall not worry about big loans for our education. But if we choose the wrong path, as a gentle parent, you will hear His whisper that you should have pursued the theater, and you will know it's true and it will be killing you softly. I think there's a quote saying something along the lines "good enough reason why will make things easier".
A technique for studying I've used (and I've had great success with) is awlays stop studying/working when you get to a point that makes you happy. Never stop at a point where you're bored/stressed/exhausted/etc. or you'll start to associate those feelings with the work. I never heard of the Pomodoro technique, but my technique was inspired by some basic research into neuro lingustic programming (NLP). Its its worked a bloody charm for both studying and doing work in general.
Example: When I worked as a software engineer, I had to program things. One problem might be boring and repetitive, or it might be a super frustrating bug that I cant figure out. But then there might also be a new problem that I dont know how to solve yet, and I have to research a solution. And that solution might be something super cool. To structure my day, I'll first research that new problem to look for an interesting solution, when I find it, I'll stop there. Then I'll start working on the frustrating bugs and repetitive problems. Near to the end of the day, I start prototyping that thing I researched earlier, and I typically get super involved. The day ends, I head home, and the next day, I can't wait to go in to work on that prototype. Say I run into some annoying bugs with that prototype, I'll keep working on them until I resolve one, and I'll start working on the next thing, then when it feels resolved and less stressful, I'll move back to the boring and repetitive stuff. End of the day, start working on that interesting prototype again. Rince and repeat. Not sure how much that made sense but meh.
Study to teach… Last semester I had a calc-physics class that was fairly difficult but I actually came out proud of my performance. The thing is, the class had homework but it wouldn’t be graded. You’d just get extra credit from volunteering to explain the HW problem to the class. Even as someone who generally procrastinates and underperforms, I pretty much did every homework in that class and volunteered whenever I had the chance. It was definitely the thing I liked most about that class
I'm not sure if I'm a gifted kid or not but I suffer from the problems you described in this video. It really helps me to see there are methods and ways to deal with those kinds of problems and that I'm not the only one out there struggling with it and having an opportunity to change something. I really appreciate you and your work, even if I stumbled across your channel just an hour ago. Stick to producing such helpful content and I will try to take your advice. Hopefully I'll notice a positive change in my nearest future. 🙏
Never have been a video been so relatable to me. Always have been a gifted kid, and things started to dwindle by the end of middle school. As soon as he talked of studying for teaching instead of studying for learning, giving a big purpose for the task, it really resonated with me. Thanks so much for your altruistic work, sir!
doctor K you are my biggest inspiration, mainly because you were a gifted kid too, I'm 19 years old and I'm a little discouraged from the entrance exam and my current course, you being a psychiatrist who also mixes the human part in your videos without ever forgetting the the physiological part helps me not just to see my emotions as something raw and hard to overcome and encourages me to be better every day even with so many difficulties. I hope soon to be able to say that I got into the course I want, and if I do, you deserve a lot of credit for teaching me through your videos how to deal with my problems and how to come up with practical solutions for them. We love you
This is one of my favorite videos you've ever put out. Touches on everything I knew I needed and even things I didn't know I needed, even outside of studying. Things always seemed to come naturally to me so I never learned most of these crucial skills. Tried so hard to improve my lack of motivation and inconsistent efforts by mimicking what I thought a normal, successful person would do, only to end up "doing everything right" yet never seeing changes. Plus with so many issues that need fixing, it gets overwhelming very easily. Every second of this video had me thinking "hey, that's me" and addressed a problem I've been trying to solve, right when I needed something like this the most. THANK YOU.
Uni is when it actually hits you. One either gets bored or overwhelmed too easily and gives up too fast Find your level of eustress (when it's just difficult to excite you but not enough to overwhelm) Study to not learn but teach (conceptual learning and makes it more challenging cause you have to master the material) Dealing with boredom: Boredom is an impulse that makes you want stimulus. Don't study because you FEEL like. So use pomodoro to make you study and stop studying despite how you feel. Collect your resources beforehand so you don't get distracted while you try to find em while studying How to study: Write. Review regularly. Environment matters (study in the same place and and only study there). Create physical boundaries. Phone on dnd. During breaks, walk. Don't use tech Studying is a skill you prolly weren't taught. You have the chance to learn it. You're not lazy
Thank you for the summary! I was a bit triggered by something that he said later in the video and almost forgot many of the good points at the start. It's great to be reminded.
My video game analogy that I got from this video is that you might have insane aim or talent in a game, but if you have 0 game sense you can only reach a certain skill level. And only by learning how to properly play and understanding the game can you only truly get better and hit your potential.
This video could not have come at a better time. I'm literally 5 days in to studying for my CompTIA A+ Cert (IT Stuff). Everything you said applied to me growing up; honor roll throughout elementary and no real parental intervention throughout all my years of school. Cut to me in college and I struggled to retain anything I learned. I have a bachelor's degree but I suffer from imposter syndrome because I was either too lazy or too incompetent when it came to studying and so I didn't hold on to the information even if I did well on assignments and tests. This not only helped me realize my errors in learning to study, it also taught me that I'm not alone, and that many others have suffered a similar fate. Even if this came after I finished school, it is still a godsend. Thank you, there's still hope.
Same. My parents were studying with my little sister who actually had to put in some effort and has a doctorate now, but I got good marks. Hit the wall when I went to college. Depression, stuff, failed out of that twice, went and learned a trade - picked it up like breathing. But now I'm thinking of a total career change, figured I'd look into IT - and am currently at the point on my edX course where while the material is interesting, I'm no longer exitedly opening the next unit, I'm already behind, failed to completely internalize some super elementary bits and am, sort of, fading out. It could not have been better timed.
This is great, thank you. I didn’t hit a wall until about junior year in high school and when I hit it, it was HARD. I did fine until college and then the stability of high school and having someone there helping me with mundane tasks, like food and shelter, disappeared and I was lost. I’m still having to take my time overcoming the panic I feel towards school now and it sucks. I love learning and I can be extremely good at it but I’m struggling so much with balancing everything. I tend to be a 100% or nothing person and I feel trapped when I can’t give 100%. If I can’t learn EVERYTHING about what I’m interested in, then I tend to not even try and college classes go so fast that I tend to feel like we’re only skimming the surface and not delving deep enough and I hate it. So thank you for breaking it down like this and helping people like me start a journey towards taking control of our education. It makes me feel less alone.
If you can take the time to study deeper and increase your understanding it can help. The few times I did that allowed me to breeze through a couple more classes.
Gifted (former) Kid here and I love the video. If it helps anyone here, one thing I've learned to do that wasn't touched on in the video is the context in which I begin my studying journey. I usually set my 'goal' a little further out than I'm capable and then take steps to approach. I find that if I set out to learn something abstract like, for example, How to Play the Piano - I find the information hard to grasp because it lacks application. So instead I'll set out to learn a particular piece of music on the piano and each "roadblock" along the way will give me an opportunity to solve a little problem that then gets me closer to my goal. It turns out the real learning is the problems I solved along the way! Everything said in this video is then applicable to the little problems I'm solving.
right, its the idea of putting context around abstract ideas. it's an excellent way to learn. another example is in programming. a great way to learn is to actually make projects with the concepts you want to learn. or you can try to program solutions to actual problems that would make you more efficient. hard to learn things in a vacuum!
17:50 There’s taking you out of the pit and bringing you to ground 0, and then there’s going above ground 0 and up the mountain - and that part’s not covered by therapy. But there definitely needs a form of it.
I just watch your video titled “being a gifted kid is actually special needs” I think the big thing that made studying hard for me is being A.D.D. Young and not finding out till adulthood. It was very hard for me at a young age to do things I didn’t like. Like it physically hurt me. But I was a natural at anything I put my mind to.
Personally I found that the only way I can learn is by observing other people (mainly teachers/profs) doing something 2-3 times and then doing it myself, which can generally work out, especially in subjects where you don't have definite truths, but has definitely prevented me from studying in STEM, despite excelling at it up until going to college, since in college you don't get enough time to study that way.
I’m watching videos about this while procrastinating my 6 lessons I need to finish by tomorrow morning when it’s 5m, my biology quiz which I have no clue what it’s on, my world history project that I don’t even know what it’s over that’s due at the start of class, and my Chinese project. 😃
I definitely identify with some of these issues…100 wells 1 foot deep is the story of my life. I’ve implemented some of these tips and absolutely agree they’re critical for someone who didn’t need to study originally. Will look more at studying to teach I HAVE always liked helping people understand things
Bro really came out here and described my entire life. I was, I would say, a pretty gifted kid. I learned extremely fast and easily. I cannot ever remember forcing myself to sit down to study during K-12 except when I got to high school and some of my classes required notes as assignments. If it weren't for that I don't think I ever would have really sat down to study at all, and even then I barely did. I would just blast through all of my assignments, and then do whatever the hell I wanted. Because I was rewarded for it. Because skimming through life worked. I graduated as top of my class in high school, and right about then I just stopped caring. Bad idea. I went to college and classes were still just about as easy. So I didnt care, and I didnt apply myself. But it became harder to consume everything for a course in a couple of hours as I progressed. But I didn't know how to study normally nor do I still know now. I often said to myself the world rewards diligence not talent. And here I am about to be booted from college while my friends who simply worked hard are graduating early. I've always wanted to go back in time to when I was in elementary school because I distinctly remember deciding to stop trying. I thought all my friends were like me, that nobody works hard, and that we're all just choosing not to apply ourselves because its just too easy. Imagine my shock years later when I realized they had been diligently applying themselves while I had been, for lack of a better word, "lazing" around. So i've always wanted to go back in time, and tell myself to not stop. To try. To reach somewhere else where things were difficult. To make things hard for myself by trying something big instead of just wasting all that time. Thats why I hope I can find kids like me and save them from the years of waste that I went through. Im still hoping I can change. Maybe I will. Maybe these techniques will save my sorry ass. I sure hope so.
This describes most of my childhood and early adult years perfectly 😐.. I know that I would have benefited greatly from most or all of the interventions/advice that you mention, and I hope that schools (and parents) are aware of this phenomenon now. It took getting a masters and spending my mid 20s to early 30s grinding myself out of the hole to eventually become what I consider "successful". I strongly believe it wouldn't have taken me so long to get here had I been taught and treated a bit differently.
Hey how cool is it that you shaped up and even got a masters, nice! I finished my bachelor 1.5 years ago, and started working. I'm finding myself wanting to go back and do a masters. Keeping the context of this video in mind, is it something I can jump into and start changing my habits/mentality or is there more help needed before starting? How did you help yourself?
@@yasarovicmiqomotan1496 So after underperforming in my undergrad studies, it was difficult to find a regular job, which I did eventually. It didn't pay well, and I didn't like it, but I stuck with it. I tried for years to get a better job, to no avail. But something happened to me through all that struggle: I became more mature, and learned how to work hard. I really had to convince myself that a master's would help my situation, and that I would be able to finish it. Once I was there, I did my master's in a year and a half while working full-time. Studying/homework no longer felt like an optional chore and I crushed my classes. There was a night-and-day difference between my undergrad performance and graduate. Choosing which master's to pursue was another struggle, but that's an entirely different conversation. I don't know where you are mentally, so I can't really say whether or not you are ready to jump into it. All I know is that I was not ready 1.5 years after undergrad, it took me longer.
@@tjmanifest quite inspiring, you flipped the switch and pulled through with all the effort required. Good on you for real, it's inspiring to me :) I guess in terms of my mental state I went from "I have to do xyz" to "I get to experience xyz". I started liking studying and working more because it allows me to learn, and I love learning. I do admit I usually struggle with putting in effort for things that aren't as appealing, or when I can't get an explanation why we are doing the task(s). Others usually describe myself as a rather curious individual. Could you perhaps elaborate on what master you chose? I'm also quite in the same struggle.. My background is in Finance, and honestly I have an okay job but it doesn't feel quite satisfying. Something inside me knows that I could put a lot more effort when I find something that keeps scratching my curiosity, instead of being busy with things that I can't even question..
@@yasarovicmiqomotan1496 Firstly, thank you. Second, I don't think telling you which masters I decided to pursue will help, because different things appeal to all of us. I considered going back to school for many things: mech or chem engineering, nursing, MBA, accounting, pharmacy, MD, Computer Science, etc... You sound like your mindset has started to mature, which is great! I will say that in my experience the vast majority of jobs are not really satisfying, and coming to terms with that is a hurdle many face. I'm finally content in my career because I work with good people, my knowledge and opinions are respected, there's good work/life balance, and it pays decently. I don't have all the answers, I just hoped my story might help someone. If I could go back and do things all over again starting at 17/18, I'd probably go for medicine or something more interesting to me personally, but at my age with my responsibilities it wouldn't be feasible. A few other things: Your job is "okay", so can you climb the ladder? Get certifications? Have you tried understanding on a deep level why you're asked to do these tasks a certain way (on your own)? Finance with an MBA can be a solid combo, but more schooling isn't always going to help (unless your employer will pay for it, then go for it). It may not feel like it, but you have time to figure things out and learn more about yourself. Best wishes!
@@tjmanifest From all of the comments you typed it does really sound like you're content, it's kind of radiating. You're right that different thing appeal to us. I do have options to climb up within the company. Since I have not much financial obligations, I don't have much responsibilities to give up if I do decide to switch up into another study or field. It is a bit tough though, it gives you career anxiety. If there's still so many options to choose for me, it has to be the "right" choice if that makes sense. Then again your last sentences are right, there is time to figure it out and maybe the uncertainty should be something empowering instead of debilitating Cheers, best wishes to you aswell
I’m a 12th grader and I needed this because my finals are two days away, I think I have ADD, I’ll get checked after my tests, my little brothers are struggling too and I’ll teach them everything I learnt from my 12 years journey, I don’t want them to live the same guilt
"Learning to teach" explains why I was able to excel in the military, where traditional academics caused me significant trouble. The impetus in the Army was that I'd be teaching my subordinates and peers the material I'd be covering, so the motivation to learn it was different.
Im 19 and am a gifted kid. Fascinating to see that I have been accidentally following most of these helpful tips all my life! All during highschool, I created study packets for my classmates, and would often teach them. These not only created a very rigorous study habit, but also made me want to pursue teaching as my profession. So I guess ya win some ya lose some 😂
As a “gifted” kid who wants to be a professor, the “study to teach” point really hit home. When I read the textbook and pretend I am doing it with the intent of explaining it to other students I feel 10x more motivated
1. Study to teach not to learn 2. Pomodoro - 20 mins for 1 topic and 5 mins break (even if you still wanna keep studying) 3. Pre layout your stuff ahead of time 4. Spend one pomodoro reviewing the work you did the previous day 5. Create physical barriers to distraction - like going to the library 6. Breaks = walk around / drink water (no technology in the 5 mins) Thanks for the amazing video! This is for my own reference.
I didn't exactly get straight A's, rather B's to C's without learning at all. I literally came back from school started playing video games and went to bed. Never really learned. Now I'm in my final years of school and I really struggle to learn at home. I rather pick up everything at school and don't dig deeper at home. I also often get bored when learning and get distracted rather easy. The problem is that I get solid A's like this. There are kids way smarter than me, still I don't have to put in much work to get close to their level. This lets me end up thinking where I could be if I was dedicated enough to put in the extra work. Still it doesn't change my behaviour and that is actually kind of depressing.
As a considered "gifted kid" I haven't had any problems with getting straight As. I thought life was so easy I could only hear something once and rule the world. But then I started to burn out, I didn't know what some information will be usefull for. I started to be quickly bored, I couldn't pay attention in class anymore. Studying in home felt so off to me because I wasn't used to it. Later it has started to track me, I felt like I was left behind. I always thought my lazyness was the cause. Thanks for this video, I feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one
1. Studying to teach instead of to learn, this feeds into your ego. 2. Boredom is brains punishment for engaging in dopamine-lacking activities. 3. How to manage boredom. 3.1 Use the pomodoro technique. 3.1.1 don't study for feelings. 3.1.2 in 5 min breaks, you reflect on what you took in. 3.2 Pre-layout your resources to avoid boredom. 4. How to Study. 4.1 Synthesis of concepts. 4.2 Review your notes and concepts. 4.2.1 three pomodoro in a row and one pomodoro for review. 4.3 avoid distractions. 4.3.1 phone in no disturb. 4.4 during breaks walk around no brain stimulation.
Wow, this hit me like a train. I've always displayed this pattern of getting extremely passionate about some new interest and learning all about it as fast as I could only to abandon the subject sooner or later. I think I've always knew this was a thing even if I didn't give it too much thought but when I was talking to my therapist about it a few weeks ago I described it in EXACTLY the same way. That at some point it's as if I hit a wall with progress in those interests, either an "intellectual" or a practical one. I either don't know how to proceed or lack opportunities/resources to (and I don't mean this to sound like I'm underprivileged because I'm not, what I mean is you can't just buy a bunch of stuff and enroll in extracurriculars every time you get interested in something new lol). I'm newly diagnosed with adhd which makes it tricky because you can't really divorce a pattern like that from how adhd presents but the two probably add up considering the sheer intensity and number of things I've been interested in. I also don't recall having studied in grades 1-7 pretty much ever which is quite telling. I'm actually not confirmed gifted but the more I learn about it the more it resonates with me. The construct of a gifted kid isn't really a thing in my country so I couldn't have known, I'm only undergoing an assessment now at 19 Also, "100 wells dug one foot deep" is such a good alternative to jack of all trades
Gifted is variable I think. Generally it’s above average. Often it has standards from testing and has some sort of program. My school didn’t put me in the gifted program but I would score at the 90-99% on the standardized tests. I got a 99 on my asvab (test to join the military). I didn’t study at any point all the way through college. Which isn’t 100% true. I could study some but I’d often get by with just the lecture. And some subjects still just felt super easy even though other smart students had a harder time. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s normal or not. I definitely stick out. Even how I would approach some subjects. When we solved wave forms I would set the phase and amplitude to what ever made the problem easiest. Solve it then undo the phase shift. But ever since elementary school I was coming up with my own strategies for solving problems. I was teaching some of the elementary strategies to my nephew my mom asked how come they didn’t teach her that way. I think common core is doing better in teaching some math concepts. However, the teachers don’t always understand them.
I always thought it was me, i knew i learned differently than others and that i got bored hella easy but i didnt know it was that deep. I feel what made it worse for me and lead me to just think "oh, i'm lazy and just not putting in the effort like i should" was my parents did the same thing you described and they along with some teachers would tell me "oh youre borderline gifted you just need to stop being lazy"
Story time for whoever needs it. I was in the same boat as described by Dr.K. I was an either straight As with a B at worst. I never studied, I don’t recall ever being stressed for school work. My sister on the other hand required a LOT of tutoring which I always found odd because she needed to study. Fast forward into college, I drop out. Fast forward to my second attempt at college around 24. I had a plan, and I was focused. Went through an accelerated masters program in math and stats. I full hearted believe I only made it through because I allowed myself to work in study groups. Learning to teach fellow classmates made learning for myself seem-less. I remember always asking how the smart kids in my group studied, hoping that I would discover something I was missing but it was always some boring method that would do nothing for me. I somehow managed to follow what Dr. K said in this video through pure coincidence. So thanks for this video because I always look back and wonder how the hell i managed through college, and it gives me a lot of insight into my various hobbies with a new, but familiar approach.
And the people at HGgg reddit told me that wanting to learn how to learn was overthinking. like, fellas, i wouldnt wanna learn if i could just learn it?? so yes, this was closure that was very much needed by me. veey appreciated, HGgg team 😌🙏
Absolutely eye opening. I’ve felt so bored and lost a lot of times, I have like 10 hobbies that i jump between every 2-3 weeks because i get bored really easily. Never knew i needed this
I think I've finally hit this wall, this is really life changing, especially the thing about boredom! I'm going to try this tomorrow (it will be the first time I've ever studied)
I'm currently retaking my second year at uni, this basically explains my issues with studying completely. I've tried pomodoro before but I would never get far due to how i went about my breaks, I hope with your tips I can actually get it to work.
This shocked me. I thought this would be interesting to watch to see if I can understand the mindset of a gifted kid. And when I watched this video, it made me question if I was a gifted kid. I have never been smart, I am actually considered dumb. but the pomdoro technique, being a good teacher, having depression for failure, and falling behind because you couldn't study? I've never felt so understood. even when I was younger I was pretty good at teaching, my classmates complimented me and my teacher once gave me a gift for teaching kids that were staying back (I was helping them because I didn't want to do the work myself because I was also staying back 😂😂). These tips are actually really helpful! I applaud you 👏👏 Out of all the tips, this has been the only studying guide that has actually bothered to tell me what's the problem and what are good solutions, and it was all because it was simply for different people.. I still don't feel gifted, but I will keep my head up high and persevere 🎉
I can so much relate... I'm trying not to make the same mistake with my child that my parents (psychological therapist and psychiatrist, not kidding) did with me.
This video is an Absolute Goldmine! I had been trying to incorporate pomodoro technique for a month but got bored eventually even though it worked well. I think the missing piece of the puzzle was your first tip. 'Study to Teach'. Will try and see how that works. Also I am going to watch this video again and takes notes. Thank you Dr. K. - from another Gifted Indian Kid :)
Dr K, your channel is absolutely revolutionary and making me re-evaluate everything (in a good way). You are making me realize so much about myself. I have struggled with studying so much as a gifted student. It sounds silly to call myself gifted but it’s true. I always opt to work super hard on homework’s and lab reports rather than studying for tests. And it always works out. Until it doesn’t when I have a HUGEEE test. But I normally get away with it. Thank you so much for this video. I feel so much less alone
Is being more motivated to help other people than help yourself a general thing around here? I've often been frustrated that I just don't have the same motivation to help myself. 8:01 other interesting things the first is 8:02 that gifted kids generally speaking are 8:05 really good at helping other people like 8:06 usually you won't do stuff for yourself 8:08 but you're actually totally fine helping 8:10 other human beings
yes, i constantly helping others, eventhough i am failing in every single thing.... past year i helped more than 20 people to make projects, collage projects and actually production projects, yet, i sucked at completing my own collage project unless it's a group project that someone rely on me... i teach others when they ask for help, yet i only learn what i need to teach and i almost fail in every exam
Oddly enough I remember using that motivation to help in order to learn. Through teaching classmates who were having a hard time with the study materials, it gave me the motivation to take the time to really learn and understand the material because the next step was okay how can I relay that information easily and effectively for other people. And different people require different teaching strategies so it helped me learn in more ways than one
I think that as generally true but perhabs more for us gifted Kids (now stressed out adults). I really don't see the worth in doing something for me. I know logically that I should and it's Important but I don't love myself enough to care most of the times. But Heck do I love my friends and family. I do so much stuff for other people that I was asked a couple of weeks ago from a fellow volentary firefighter of my station how I show so much efford to others but not myself (I wear clothes that are old got holes and a ugly, sometimes my body Hygiene is not the best, reckless behavior if I am the only one endangered) and I just sad there for a minute and replayed "I just don't feel worthy of my love..." kinda hurt saying that to my self but it felt right.
Yeah. I also need to reframe every pursuit as somehow, at least indirectly, being for the sake of others. I can't seem to care about what happens to me, my own success or happiness. Those are just tools to have more energy and influence to help people, make bigger waves of change... I've found this to be my greatest motivator.
This is me. Jesus Christ, how is that possible. The depression, the longing for an objective, the 100 wells 1 foot deep, the fear of failure. Even the studying to teach! I build the craziest lectures in my mind when I'm excited about learning something new. But only on, automatic mode, and never actively about something I really should do. I wish this video was posted a couple of years before, but, it is never too late. I can try now.
I'm 40y, all what you say on this subject across many videos resonates so much on me, now as a parent of a 11y girl who's facing many of these challenges (because school has been easy for her so far), I'm glad I'm finding ways to help her and hopefully alleviate the struggles she may have once getting into college.
At the end of the video I literally cried. I felt so seen. I'm in med school and I'm struggling since the first day. Almost everybody around me kinda know how to study. And here I am, fighting depression and anxiety before every single exam. I feel like I didn't accomplished anything and I'm here by chances. That's really exhausting. I was starting to believe I'm a lazy, rubbish person. Thanks for the video, I'm going to try what you said.
Thank you, truly thank you. 18 years of my life until now i could never find an answer to my problems. “Learn to teach” huh? Probably the single most useful piece of advice ever given to me for my studies. Wish i had this 5 years back, but at least my current studies will improve, so I can’t really complain.
god yeah i feel like i could end life anytime now considering how boring life is and finding out how meaningless everything is. As a gifted kid growing up until the junior year of high school, I could consider myself a gifted-gifted kid. That a hundred wells dug one foot deep was so well said because I was learning college materials right before junior year started. The first half year was perfectly fine but because it was fully quaratined, the bare minimum thing started to go below bare minimum. Then the below bare minimum A's start to become b's and c's. Sooner or later I find myself soo behind all the other kids. The worst part was I had two classes fail that year and it struck me hard. The next year I had one class with juniors a grade behind me and then everything started going downhill. I didn't want to do anything and the moments I had trying to get back up always seem to failed. Self-esteem also got damaged hard. Now I'm in college doing super bare minimum to just try to get pass and I feel lazy again because everything just seems so stupid and boring to me now. Also the guilt I feel that I feel like im disappointing my parents after they say its alright, they just want me to be safe and normal. Also about how this college was also a bare minimum choice out of the other colleges I wanted to go to. How I think it's a low class university, but hey. It is what it is and to think of it, what if I could make it out alive and do even better than those good colleges? Honestly thanks to HGGG or else idk what to do. I'm like lazy to the point I don't want to see a therapist because I'm scared of my parents finding out about my problems. They've already had enough from life. These videos for real deep down in my heart, I really do appreciate them. Thank you.
I'm more and more convinced I've always been a gifted autistic with adhd, but I've been in burnout since I was 17. I am so resentful towards the adults in my life and have so many regrets. I've been trying to rebuild my self-confidence from scratch and to heal my inner child by treating the children I look after at my oratory the way I wish I was treated.
You have some really great points here, but I think you also missed something really important. I was one of the 'gifted but failing' types, which now that I'm older and have been exploring my neurodivergence, I've learned is a combination of things that made understanding the underlying concepts the most efficient way for my mind to work around my disabilities. So, I was always a great conceptual learner, because I have to be, because I need it like it's being explained to a preschooler, but I had to get to those understandings myself, since that's not the way schools teach. Where I struggled and school absolutely failed me was in application, school is totally divorced from being able to use any of your knowledge for real things. I didn't do any homework in high-school aside from essays because I had another friend who was similar to me and we would have fun writing really insightful essays about books we didn't read and things like that, or connecting ideas that other people wouldn't. It was one place we actually were allowed to apply ourselves. Schools never let you work on real problems, and so the application part of learning is totally absent. You spend all your time working on "problems" that aren't real problems because they've been curated to fit the methods the school wants to teach instead of letting you use your mind as a tool and become adept at that. Even things like word problems are written with the equation they want you to make in mind. Both my friend and I ended up going to the same college at different times where we learned to drive ships and navigate them across oceans, in other words, solving actual dynamic problems. Both my friend and I went on to become really strong autodidact learners, but we both really did it in spite of the education system, which in my mind really atrophies the minds of most students by not letting them work on the fundamental problem of "what type of thinking should I apply to this situation?" So many people get left in this state of either wanting to be told what to do all the time, or having a chip on their shoulder in self defense. I eventually got the chip off my shoulder, but it took years of just feeling totally lost. Learning to study IS a really important thing to learn, but gifted kids don't need to meet the measure of a fundamentally flawed schooling system, the schooling system needs to be completely reworked because it's failing everyone and then blaming it on the people it hurts.
You just narrated my life story here. I have faced this problem too, I would like to elaborate my story but I have an exam tomorrow which I have to study for. I’ll come back here to comment my story.
While you are 100% correct in saying the school system is flawed, a video won’t be able to change that. I think that the video has some excellent strategies to deal with the messed up system that school is, which is very helpful
My mother never really paid attention to my learning and she herself admits that a lot. She used to help my older brother who is a bit weaker in some subjects. I consider myself lucky because in a little free time that my father used to get, he was able to teach me some things and help me learn. Which is why I am not completely ruined. In 10th, I am now learning how hard it is to actually understand the material. Still without help because now my mom goes to office. But thankfully, Internet is kind of helpful.
This is very relatable, because I also see myself as a (former) gifted kid. Many symptoms are a perfect description of me when I was a kid / young adult. Now as a somewhat functional adult, many solutions presented by DR. K are also very familiar. Incredible how my condition was finally being understood and diagnosed. Storytime: I struggled twice in life, once during middle school and once at university during my bachelor's degree. In school, it was more the classic laziness / shame / gifted kid syndrome but I somehow pulled myself up and started studying again and it worked. The bigger hit came during my bachelor's degree in physics where my work group of students started to break up, because we were all transitioning into our master's program and everyone picked their own courses. Suddenly I was alone and not used to being alone (and some other private factors), and it all overwhelmed me. I became the guy I despised the most, lazy, procrastinating, useless, overweight, no goal in life. To this day I regard it as a miracle that on some rainy october day, I suddenly said to myself "enough. No more, time to get my life in order.", I then kept crying the whole day, I confessed to my then girlfriend how useless I was, and then I started the very painful climb up again. The side effects of year-long procrastination were severe: I forgot much of physics and had to relearn it, I forgot how to study and focus, I forgot how to write a thesis, forgot how to manage my finances, forgot how to be punctual, basically everything. Now I am married, having kids and being alot wiser. I am actually impressed how much of my painfully obtained wisdom is so beautifully described by Dr. K. Deep respect for sharing this and attempting to help other gifted kids.
Omg Thank you! I've been saying being smart is the biggest obstacle in learning for so long and people thought I was being insincere 😭 Everything sounds super applicable. I'll be using these now. Saved the video so I can keep coming back to it.
I've been homeschooled my whole life. Everything I've ever learned has been from a textbook. I've learned the best way I can make my system efficient, although it probably won't be applicable to anyone in public school 😂 1. (Most subjects) I study until I'm tired and my brain stops processing the information. Sometimes I'll pick up a textbook and in 15 minutes will be totally lost, other times I can study the same subject for 5 hours straight. Regardless, when I stop understanding the information, I switch subjects. When I've finished all subjects I'm going to do for that day, I do nothing until I sleep. I go to sleep thinking about problems I'm having difficulty on. When I wake up and start again, I find that I understand everything perfectly. Sleep just makes things 'click' for me. 2. (Difficult textbook subjects) I always do difficult subjects while watching tv, youtube, or listening to music. My favorite of these is watching Psych. For me, the trick is to find something funny enough to distract me, yet mindless enough I don't need to pay very much attention to it. This is what I do for Math (currently trig/precalc) and Advanced Chemistry. For some inexplicable reason, the distraction allows me to focus, whereas if I attempted to just sit and work on that subject with no distractions, (I've tried this multiple times) it always ends with me remembering little to nothing and staring at a wall daydreaming. 3. (Audio/Lecture subjects) When I listen to lectures such as for history or government etc. I do so while playing stupid mindless games on my phone. Again, this small bit of distraction allows me to pay attention to what is being said instead of daydreaming. I have no idea why this works. I also always listen to lectures/youtube videos on 1.5x speed. Again, these are what help me (as a homeschooled student) and may not help anyone else. Regardless, those are my recommendations.
Inb4 ADHD maybe No stimulation = Painful boredom = Major craving for "shiny stuff" a.k.a. distractions. Sufficiently passively occupied (mindless pen twirling, leg stepping, music, gaming, fidget spinning, etc) = Mind doesn't crave for distractions as much/anymore = Can fairly pay attention to work/study/tasks. Motivation comes in bursts - more likely to come if it involves Creating/Competing/Completing/something that Captivates you Does that sound right? Also thanks for the tips 👍
OMG I'm shocked... you just helped me understand my entire life... by the mourning that's coming up in me now of what was and what will never be... I'm guessing that this is the root cause I was searching for. thank you!
Oh my God... this is what i have been looking for so long. Thank you ! I think it will realy help me to not feel like a loser and finally get my stuff together.
I'm watching this video instead of working in my 9-5 tech job or doing anything else productive towards my goals because I get bored but also overwhelmed with the amount of tasks I have to do. This video is a gem! Thank God for this video!!
One struggle I found particularly hard was realizing in high school that a lot of kids would be friendly with me only when they needed my help with schoolwork, and then not care about me otherwise. It made 'studying to teach' lose a lot of its appeal and I think formed a negative association with academic success in my mind.
this is so relatable, for me i was fine through elementary, middle, and high school, but the second college hit I really found myself way behind my peers in terms of knowing how to study and having the discipline to be able to get myself up and to my desk to do it
Omg... why? I was considered a gifted child and also was undiagnosed ADHD until some months ago. At almost 30, I'm actually trying to learn things properly for the first time, with the added challenge that I'm also a teacher. I get really sad when I start to think about how needlessly I struggled through my life, when a good solution was a few calls away and because of the gifted kid part I ended up neglected because I was doing just "fine". Many of my students deal with have ADHD and other issues, I had the same problems that my students seems have and that you described, but I... powered through until college and it wasn't pretty. Nowadays I'm simply trying to guide my students so they have easier lives than I had. I still don't know how to study, I'm trying to learn how to "overcome" boredom and social anxiety. I just also realised that I was severely dependent on my ADHD Hyperfocus and anxiety to function, all my skills were learned because of my hyperfocus, but hyperfocus is a fickle muse and I have back and shoulder injuries because of that. I always felt like there was a huge gap on how I functioned compared to my peers, I couldn't simply do things even If I could understand then easily, treatment for ADHD has been a huge help, but there's a gap of knowledge and I'm trying to learn how to deal with.
But how can one have back and shoulder pain due to hyperfocus? Isn't hyperfocus like focus with a very high intensity? And can you tell how you used your ADHD hyperfocus, which has not been considered good, and 'anxiety' to your advantage?
@@ainternet_userisnteveryone524 Hello, these are good questions. In my experience and other people I asked, ADHD hyperfocus is uncontrollable. That means that once I started a activity that triggers my hyperfocus I usually get "stuck" in that activity, I lose sense of time and I forget to do basic things like eating or going to the bathroom. So saying that hyperfocus is high intensity focus is a bit of a oversimplification, because you don't choose when it will happen and when it will stop. A high intensity focus would be the flow state which is controllable , I particularly see it as the good sibling of hyperfocus. Saying that I used my hyperfocus and anxiety to my advantage is a bit strange, but I really get what you meant. Mostly I know because I went to therapy and to the psychiatrist and talked a lot about my habits, that was a big part of getting diagnosis for me, because if you do something that you can't control that is a problem and hyperfocus has a lot of drawbacks that people usually don't talk about. The biggest part of hyperfocus, in my experience, is that you don't choose on what you focus, anything that catches your attention may end up in a enormous amount of research. You also don't choose when you will stop, so you may get a "degree" on that or just enough knowledge to talk about it without being able to apply anything. Also afterwards when the hyperfocus is gone, you get tired of the subject, sometimes you never do that again even when doing that again is advantageous. The activity that I usually got stuck was drawing, which benefits a lot from long practice and is a skill that you need years to build, but drawing for long hours without breaks is very bad for your body, you NEED to stop and stretch or else you will slowly destroy your back, shoulder and arm. For several years I would wake up and draw until it was time to sleep with minimal breaks, that's why I got shoulder and back pain, that's just not healthy. I also was dependent on my anxiety because ADHD means that you get executive dysfunction, so anxiety played the role of making me desperate enough to start something and finish it quickly, this happened a lot in college, I started a lot of essays hours before it was due and usually managed to send it to my teachers before the due time. I pulled a lot of all-nighters for things that could been done easily and without stress if i started it the week before it was due, and it wasn't like I forgot about it, I just spent the week telling myself to do the essay without being able to. Sorry for the long answer and I hope this helps whoever read this.
I unfortunately turned off my anxiety. Sometime in high school or middle school I didn’t have an assignment done. I had been missing days to do the assignment but one day I just accepted things and went to school without it done. After that anxiety for assignments never arrived in a way that was helpful. Really needed smaller goal posts for large projects. So I could do them real quick at the last moment.
As someone who had 0 studying skills going into college, I can relate to the difficulty of learning how to actually allow yourself to learn material studying. This is some very insightful knowledge that took lots of trial and error to find out on my own. Thank you for sharing this with others, I’m sure it will help many!
This is definitely something I struggled with once I got to college. I just didn't know how to study, the way I saw it I either got the material during the lecture or by the first read through of a text or I didn't. It aggravated several of my friends/fellow students that they saw me not studying and having mixed results, or doing great on papers and sucking on tests, or whatever. I remember a friend of a friend in a polisci class losing her mind at me for not studying and I didn't know how to be explain that it just wasn't a skill I had ever been taught. I think she thought I was an egotistical jerk because I think I just shrugged in response, like I just had no words to respond to her with. I'd try to study either sitting in the library or in the quad or wherever and nothing, I couldn't do it. I'm doing some post bacc certs now and already realized I still need help with studying. My brain just shuts off and slogs through the textbooks when I'm trying to study.
This was pretty much me. I either learned things from hearing it once, or no amount of studying it would teach it to me, with very little in between. I didn't even think i was capable of becoming better at things i sucked at until i was well into my 20's, and didn't have any meaningful input as to *how* I learned until my mid 30's. I retain A LOT more from audio/visual or doing than from reading/writing. I often require more spoonfeeding of small details than most people to "get" things if I don't get it right away.
I really resonate with the "Study to teach" advice. I think this is a technique I came across accidentally as I frequently in my life had situations where I wanted to be able to better present and distill a concept to other people, but I definitely can attest that my retention of the material and expansion of understanding on the topics was greatly increased when operating under this motivation and goal.
"Why would I need to help you if you were already getting straight As?"
Parents need to understand that gifted children are special needs children.
If they're getting straight As *without effort* they are not only not developing the work habits that other kids learn who *need* to put in effort, but they're being *rewarded* for not putting in effort.
They're learning *exactly the wrong thing*, that success can come without effort.
It's a developmental disaster.
The problem is that most people, your parents included, don't understand that the most important thing kids need to learn in school isn't the information pumped into them, it's *how to operate themselves*.
School is less of a supply store of data and more of a gym to work out in.
Picking up the weights isn't about taking the weights home, it's about taking home the *effect* picking up the weights has on you. To get a positive effect, you have to lift enough weight to tax your strength. If you don't, you're just wasting your time.
Such a well articulated paragraph. I am going to save it.
Thank you for articulating a an extremely vital piece of information ^^
As a kid who was considered gifted after testing in K-12 this is ultimately the most true thing I’ve ever read in regards to my schooling. I rarely, _rarely_ studied for any exams and I passed most things with little effort. As a result, I now struggle in the real world because I was raised with this concept that I can achieve things with little effort. It also didn’t help that I picked up on their teaching methods that often contrasted quite heavily with the tests and exams themselves. Often the curriculum in a classroom would “overteach” let’s call it, and the exams would often be a lot easier, which I picked up on. I realized that what they would teach would not be proportional to the content on the exams, which led me to find even less reason to study since I knew it would be overcompensating for the test itself. Secondly, the part about school being, effectively, a gym rather than a place for data storage is ultimately very true as well. School is, or at least, should be, a place to teach critical thinking skills. The information rots, but the processes by which you obtained that information should be retained during a decade of schooling. Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he will feed a village.
With AI development being such a similar topic, I wonder how you make sure the second is learned and not just the first.
The Best solution is making curriculams that chalanges them the same way normal curriculams challenges the average kids
So thing that respect their brain u know
And then they learn to work Hard cuz they're facing same amount of
challenges as an average kid
And also making them use the most of thire potentials
Every special needs kid need curriculams & study enviroment that is most suitable for them
One thing I have thought about is that many "gifted kids" gets into a spiral of "I could have done it if I tried", when seeing others succeed using their hard work. If you try to escape the "I could have done it if I tried", and attempt to see yourself as something else than a gifted child, it helps you understand what you need to do in order to accomplish what the hard working people are accomplishing.
me
Too real
What does this even mean?
@@InternetCrusader-rb7ls It means that the 'gifted kids' still think highly of themselves even after failing, they think that they could have aced the tests if they had tried, but since they were not interested in studying they didn't put in much effort so they failed. This mind set is very unhealthy. It could make one feel really under confident and regretful in the long run. So what they need is a reality check and humble themselves.
Omg thats me lol
Nice to hear that he's a psychiatrist that helps to *solve problems*.
Much of depression is the feeling of being incapable of solving our problems. Making us *capable* is a better solution than making us not feel so bad about being *incapable*.
I’ve found that letting go of becoming capable has made me become way more capable ironically.
I agree. However if you have grown up in a household where you were punished for not being able to do things this could be a problem. This is my problem. It's hard growing up thinking there's something wrong with you.
@@tracyzimmerman7912
Negative judgment from parents can be a demoralizing and terrifying thing.
I think the letting go is of guilt and shame for having some incapacities. I've got issues. Feeling bad about them only piles on more issues.
Jordan B. Peterson - 12 Rules for Life
Rule 2
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Would you judge a friend with your incapacities as harshly as you judge yourself?
Compassion isn't just for other people.
Exactly my issue as an adult (besides never learning to study because i never had to) is that i am incredibly forgetful.
They game me antidepressants and anxiolytics for 10 years, til i decided to stop it because they weren't helping.
I do not know why we live in a culture were even (most) doctors only treat/hide the symptoms, NOT the cause. If someone says they have knee pain, they give them pain killers instead of checking the knee 😳
@@0000song0000
Finding a cause requires thought and judgment.
Going directly from symptoms to treatments only requires a lookup table.
The irony of finding this when distracted from a study session
real
fake
Can you make a video about the unique challenges of studying as a cursed kid?
...cursed kid? Did your parents sacrifice you to demon or something?
@@letsreadtextbook1687 Inverse of gifted
@@letsreadtextbook1687 like the video of parents teaching their kid even where they laid out answer and even whispering answer to the kid ear. The kid still give wrong answer because the kid "Feel" That was the right thing maybe?
@@martinlutherkingjr.5582 Oh you mean stupid. They need private mentor in addition to normal studying. Tho normals can benefit from those as well
underrated comment and the joke flew over everyone's heads lol
This video blew my mind. I'm 40 now. As a kid I cruised through pre-school and then through school with incredible ease. I instantly understood all subjects at school, could do my homework 10 minutes before class and didn't need to study. The knowledge just... poured in. I was most teachers' favourite. Straight A's in all subjects. Getting diplomas for my school in regional competitions in maths, languages and even third place in carpentry competition (90s education for boys, haha). Then without even preparing I got into one of the best high-schools in my city, went through all three exams to get in with ease. And then I hit that wall you described in the video. I hit it so hard... I was suddenly in an environment with many talented students, all having worked hard to get there. And they kept working hard. And suddenly I couldn't just cruise and started falling behind. Fast forward to today, I've been in therapy for many years, dealing with depression and struggling with life. And the moment you said that it's not the therapy I need but instead I have to LEARN HOW TO FOCUS AND DO THINGS. It genuinely blew my mind. I hope this is the key I've been looking for.
Completely understand. I was nowhere close to the ease you had, but I performed well enough, was sharp and creative, and mostly was just left alone. By high school I hit a wall, but the structure and support forced me to eventually put in the extra effort push over it. But then out the other side of that it became much harder in university and in work, trying to reconcile my inherent abilities & my natural ambition with my clear limitations in discipline. This along with the recent revelation of having moderate ADHD my entire life without knowing. But there is certainly some blurry overlap there.
I'm also hoping this works. Sometimes a simple framework + motivation + placebo effect is all you need to move forward. But with some of these lifelong issues, it's hard to predict. So, also going to bring some radical acceptance into the picture.
I hope that u are feeling better, anon, you are never alone
😂😂😂😂😂
@@ilikepingpong what did the realization of having moderate ADHD bring for positive effects? Are you treating it and does it get better or do you just feel like you understand yourself better. I see that so often these days that people figure out they are either autistic or have ADHD but I never know what that late knowledge does for you.
@@BigBootyBatman
That's a good question.
But first off, I will quote Dr. Russell Barkley in saying "a trait is a disorder when it becomes an impairment". So not everyone will be impaired by traits of ADHD or autism.
It's going to vary A LOT person to person. ADHD is a spectral & multi-dimensional disorder, like autism. But also the issue of lifestyle, career type, health, etc., all make it extremely variable. For example, I did not feel noticeably impaired until I started working from home + long covid brain fog. My evaluation was just in February so I'm still sorting through it all.
But the overwhelming message I hear is that learning you have ADHD as an adult is a "good news" diagnosis because "things can only get better" as you do something about it. So that's the hope in knowing. It may not be true 100% of the time, but there is potential there to learn more about your limitations, then take steps to account for them in your life & alleviate them as much as possible. For a lot of people, simply taking ADHD medication can help a lot, even from day one.
I'm still on that path of trying medication.
But I think it is motivating for me to know, because I had been feeling impaired, and that was getting confusing and starting to weigh heavily on me.
Why? Are you thinking you might have some of this?
I wasn't a gifted kid, but the "studying to teach someone else" method works. I used to re-read my notes out loud as if I was lecturing a crowd and it used to help with memorization of facts and concepts.
you might be gifted.... otherwise there is a less chance others ask for you for help, and you actually help....
He didn't say he actually taught anyone
Just that he pretended he did when learning
Yeah, same here. Whenever I'm studying I read out loud and move around and throw gestures like I'm trying to explain it to someone.
Plus try to imagine the thing in your head as you're 'explaining'.
@@vaisakh_km not necessarily, I wasnt a gifted kid but I just studied my ass off to get grades as good as the gifted kids, thus, people came to me for help.
The "study to teach" method really is a game changer. It puts me into a new mindset and turns the whole thing into a challenge. Some things that I do that helped keep this idea engaging is to imagine my audience, try to put everything on 1 page (per topic), put all concepts into drawings, and basically outline it so that if I need to refer back to my notes, I will find the information I need in no more than a few seconds. It turns the whole note-taking process into its own game and when I did this, I always had the best notes. Oh and also, try studying and note-taking on NOT lined paper - like just computer paper. For me, it helps my ideas flow easier like you're just writing on a small white board
copy n pasted
I guess I've been a lucky gifted kid. I was in boarding school and we had 3h every evening in a big study room. We had to remain silent and study. I was done after less than 30 minutes and was watching the others wondering what they were doing. It was becoming really boring and I fell a bit like tortured. When the nuns saw that I didn't need those 3h, they pulled me out of that study room and asked me to give tutoring to my classmates! What a great idea! They were fabulous. Older, I was given «enrichement challenges» that were not in the curriculum but so much fun because I was allowed to leave the classroom and work in the library or the craft room depending on the challenge. Now, as a teacher, I'm also working on a PhD, and for the first time, I really struggle. But... I found the pomodoro technique and it works like magic. I even do pomorodo sessions online with my students. During the breaks, I clean the house. 5 minutes for the toilet, five minutes of filling the dishwasher, five minutes to start a laundry load. My house is cleaner when I have to work!
You're so incredibly lucky and I am happy for you!
I actually use a long term pomodoro.
I do my work for 1 hr.
20 min rest(either thinking of my novel or watching an anime).
Hey, if you don't mind then could you tell that what is your subject of Phd? And were you class topper?
@@msislam6751 I was a class topper. My subject is roughly how to teach learning skills to college students in regular classes so that they can reduce their feeling of being overloaded. Lots of fun 🙂 That why I'm really interested in this YT channel. Lots of good hints.
@@nathalietremblay686 Thank you. By the way, I'm also a topper. Soon,I will join college.
17:16 jesus christ this hit me hard. I've been diagnosed with anxiety as a kid and depression as a teen and was medicated both times but I was never able to fix anything. This whole video describes my situation perfectly and I'm in my last year of university still suffering with each assignment and feeling like the scum of the earth. I guess I can at least apply this now, better late and never.
Same
You might want to look into ADHD - maybe get evaluated for it if it resonates with you. I've been struggling since end of high-school and have also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but medication did not help that much. Many years later, I got diagnosed with ADHD and it turns out that the depression was caused by it. If that's what you have, you're not lazy - your mind just works differently and it takes a lot more effort to focus on tasks. There are ways to treat it.
@@christina_cl i’m really annoyed because i’ve been diagnosed with adhd but taking meds isn’t helping much. even got a higher dosage recently. so annoying cuz i feel like i take foreeeever doing assignments.
Same, but with TOC, and The medication Was strong enough to work. But now that im decreasing The medication, it is all coming back again
same here. I am mindblown rn
“100 wells dug one-foot-deep” - That should be my epitaph 😂. I was both a gifted child and eventually a therapeutic-day-school / special education / self-mutilating / nonverbal child who took five years to finish high school. I remember that when I TA’d sections in graduate school, I’d skim the 90 pages the undergrads were supposed to read on the 15-minute bus ride to my section and teach it for 50 minutes . . . so I guess I learned conceptual learning thru procrastination 😅
Wtf tay is here
In my country 6 years is the minimum for high school at the highest level and I took 7 years as a gifted child.
I still procrastinate literally everything I my life 😔
Tay you're a legend ❤️
To a lesser extent, that's what I figured out as well. I still tend to go wherever my current interests lead. *shrug*
1) Eu-stress, there should be some stress to make it feel like you are constantly challenging yourself
2)Teaching peers
3)You are gonna get bored and need dopamine:
Use Pomodoro technique with breaks, walking breaks no mental stimulation
4)Keep distractions away physically and lay out study material resources.
5)Physically writing stuff.
6)Revise stuff. 1 Pomo at least.
Up
It's even worse than the parent abrogating responsibility because you're getting good grades in primary school. Many parents (like mine) blame and punish the kid for doing poorly when the lack of skills finally catches up with them. This is even more damaging than just believing you're lazy.
This reminds me of the time I got an 88 in a class(semester grade thing).
It was a parent teacher thing and my mom started talking loudly (almost yelling) about it. I don't remember what she said exactly, because this was in like 6th grade.
She was mad that I might not get into college for free.
I don't even want to go to college, and it's mainly because she was so obsessed that I may get into it for free. Lmao the irony.
omg.... this guy is a genius.. i think the reason i was so motivated as a kid was because i subconsciously and semi consciously always took on the role of teacher towards my peers.... but when they stopped needing me as a mentor as they grew older, i completely lost all motivation, hated school, didnt care about anything or anyone.... fell into deep deppression... grades plummeted
Honestly…as soon as he said try thinking of studying to teach rather than to learn I instantly got more interested and it was like I just had gained some more clarity. I suppose giving the task a bigger purpose rather than just to serve myself made me more motivated, especially since I love being able to help others understand concepts too.
When he said that, I instantly thought about the differences between my autistic "rabbit hole" research marathons and the course work that I have to do for my college classes. I always enjoy sharing the knowledge I acquire when I spend time researching my various interests, but I only read enough for my classes to do the homework and pass the tests
@@shadowfox933 i had a bachelor degree that is in line with my "rabbit hole" research marathon but at my current job im unable to apply that knowledge, currently applying for a master's degree scholarships that would help me specialize and find better work where i can apply those research marathons and share it to other people/contribute to my workplace
That's a fantastic way to put it. I find that the "gifted person" always seeks to fulfill something greater than themselves. And tend to work harder so as not to disappoint or let others down.
So if that's the motivation, it might be a smarter idea to keep that in mind while trying to complete tasks.
And I find it interesting that it is one of the defining traits of the historical Melancholy temperament, which is believed to be the temperament of most gifted people.
I felt something happen in my brain too, and new excitement to study arose.
Yea same, but at the same time I know theres no one I can actually teach this to or that is willing to listen and even if you find some group on discord they wont care or they;; have too much knowledge on the subject and correct me every other second.
I got the feeling "he is just like me!!" meme, the parents never worring if I got an A+, then hitting a wall, being diagnosed with depresion, the thing that I I hate to review my notes. It's always a bliss feeling that it's not just me
U don’t have depression
I've always found for me personally one of the best ways to spend my break is doing a very simple task that allows me to process what ive done whilst still maintaining the feeling of productivity. The biggest one for me is going to do the dishes or doing a quick clean of the kitchen.
What about something like crochet?
@@zukes6517 sounds good
This really shows how great my teachers were in school. They had us sit in teams of 4 and when we were doing any work you would have to ask the other kids in your group for help before you could ask the teacher. This meant the smart kids could be more engaged teaching the material to someone else, and the kids who needed more help had someone right there to help them. And on top of that taught great teamwork.
Brilliant! That's a brilliant idea! (⚡👓)
No, it’s a totally CRAP idea if YOU are the smartest one in every group, every time, because THAT kid *never, ever experiences work at the level THEY are capable of doing* . NEVER. What we *become* is UNPAID TUTORING SUPPORT and it utterly, absolutely sucks more and more over time- the rocket fuelled mind forced to work at the clown car pace benefits everyone BUT the rocket fuelled mind. I ended up refusing to become the resource after *teaching my year 10 HISTORY CLASS for the year* because I knew more about the subject than the teacher did- we had so much engagement as a class because I was totally into the subject and made it come alive, we acted things out because I was also the main writer for the entire high school’s drama production that year, but I realised I was being used and ended up refusing to do it anymore.
@@Ninsidheook
This kind of group need some social skill baseline though, I remember also doing the same, but no one dare to ask me anything
Now that you mention it..... I did enjoy those kinds of settings because I usually was the person in the group others would ask for help with. I was happy to do so for their benefit. It also helped me to develop the skill of seeking help from the other students who got the few things I'd get hung up on and frustrated with because this setting was normalized.
The intro absolutely described my early childhood till Standard 6 life. And after that all the way especially in my bachelor degree life, I really felt overwhelmed and boring, everything just started to fell apart in my academic performance. It is just not only me alone who think I was lazy, even my parents and teachers condemned me being lazy.
have the same expirience now, just walked through school never learning, doing homework etc. and now I'm studying computer science and it''s so hard being focused and not just go thinking 'ah yeah that's easy i gonna look at it at home' and then being f*cked when the exams come around or you need to do some assignments instead of exams.
@DemonFranki I'm so glad I'm not alone.
I'm lucky enough that I've been able to learn what I need to in IT fast enough to get tasks done but as far as studying for higher lever certs I can't seem to sit down or stay focused enough.
Going thru it rn, got 3 months till A Levels 😭
Yeah i feel you guys, my time in engineering course was a big pain. If the subject was something I liked in the course it won't be too annoying for me to put through with it but when I was facing some really boring subjects that and I just can't sit down and study it.
Same, but till I got admitted to a good college for my graduation. Everything was easy. Then suddenly everything was hard. I just felt so stupid, and developed this huge impostor syndrome. Eventually I found these videos and they kinda helped me out.
This video found me at a perfect time. I just turned 28 and have for a decade now struggled with the concept of higher learning. I was a good student who never needed to study but I always failed to do homework and long form projects without just procrastinating until the night before. I recently determined I wanted to go back to school to be a structural engineer and I think spending this summer relearning how to learn will give me the confidence to actually succeed
The conversation you described with your mom is almost word-for-word the conversation I had with my dad. Incredible how validating this is
i can relate as well. one time i had trouble with my homework and my dad scolded me and called me dumb and said "you got a 99 on the last test, so how come you can't even do this?" and i just never asked again. my mom actually can't speak english so i could never ask her anything about school. this video helped me a lot.
Thank you. A lot.
As the gifted kid, like other people watching, this video has taught me more about how to study than absolutely any other video or guides that I tried to follow.
That felt like a cursed loophole of trying to find something new, trying, failing and back at it.
I'm not gonna say that they are bad, but they definitely lack the "human nature" variable in the equation, which makes some or even many people feel left behind.
This is the video that I could find myself in and undestand everything behind the "why's" in my behavior.
It has been great implimenting everything together with other videos, but this is where I started 😁
As a gifted kid, something that really helped me last semester in my second year of college was switching from a "school" mindset to a "work" mindset. I found that in my professional career life I can be really dedicated and just work, whereas I'll see my coworkers on their phones, etc. And what I found is that when I treat school like I'm trying to impress a boss, it's like I totally forget about all of the GT barriers, and I learn like I'm trying to earn.
I'd say that the essence of it is to fake-till-you-make into something intentional or meaningful that you want or consider to be.
Even as simple as teaching a kid but _done professionally._
that... is actually quite smart... working rn for money to go finish school, and I feel that at work I often direct myself differently. Ive realized it is MUCH easier for me to do something FOR OTHERS compared to myself, a mix of me feeling like I dont deserve anything, being ok with stagnation/rot for myself, maybe some other stuff but for myself I dont do sht, for others I feel like I need to...
Anyways, ill try when I go back to finish my postsecondary with the view of it being a job
" studying to teach " really hit me
I don't know if i am a gifted kind of kid, but one of my bad trait is that i put all of my value into being useful towards another people. i have an above average academic stuff, so by that i learned stuff for the purpose of teaching the rest of my classmate, and seeing their reaction with being helped really made me happy sometimes
Ditto
I've never considered myself gifted, but everyone around me was saying that I'm super smart and "have a bright mind" or something like that and to be a straight As (or in my country "5"s) I needed to be more hardworking so each year I would study harder and harder without getting any better results. By the last couple years of middle school my week almost entirely consisted of going to school and doing homework/preparing for tests. Now that I finished school I have no friends, no social skills to make new ones in uni and I have a lot of trouble studying in a university. I wish I had this video a bit earlier in my life, but I hope that it'll help me with my current studies
absolutely, this is exactly what needed for uni than for just school
studying is uni is astronomically bigger than that in schools..... and in school, we can just get pass though, but in uni, failing is failing
Maybe you can use videogames to help you? Gimkit works fine for me, but idk if its free or not.
Are you from HK?
That definetly feels depressing, at the end of the day you are the one who knows your situation best, but since you pulled that performance in middle school, I'm sure you can pull it again right now in uni and in your life all togheter
This applied very well to me as ADHD and autistic. We also often learn unconventional strategies to get around the hurdles including our own disabilities/neuroatypicalities and their lack of accommodation in society.
Just been diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD 3 months shy of turning 40 and this resonates in a painful way. Thank you Dr. K for putting all this out there
What's up, me too. But 9 months shy of 40.
Happy 40th next month!
Thank you, I personally immensely appreciate your explanation of what I consider my fall, when I reached 17 and the " I just have to pay attention in class stopped to work".
I didn't knew how to study, started to skip classes, and fell in a very dark place.
As a curious kid that always liked to learn, part of my pride was in it and falling behind was devastating for me. I had to rebuild a good part of my expectations, the bases that sustained me. Got a lot of wisdom through it, but it was really painful.
Nowadays, I got to live the live as I want to, according to the values and expectations that I build by myself, which is nice. But that fall... Still stings. I really hope that this video helps kids that are falling in the pit at this moment.
Again, thank you for share you wisdom, it's safe to say that is helping a lot of us in many ways.
P.D. I'm Spanish, not used to write in English, so sorry if I hurt your eyes.
En cuanto empecé a leer tu comentario pensé q lo estaba escribiendo yo mismo, porque es por lo que estoy pasando justo ahora mismo. Gracias por compartir tu experiencia y darme un poco de ánimo, creo que necesitaba escuchar que esto le pasaba a más gente y que se puede salir de aquí.
This is why we need honors programs for gifted kids (and start earlier and make them harder).They need to be challenged at their level. Some school districts are trying to take them away. We probably need gifted kid special ed too.
In the meantime there are plenty of ways to challenge yourself like learning advanced math and physics, reading classical literature, etc … I think being self directed is a better strategy than hoping the establishment will solve your problem for your.
@@ABC-jq7ve I feel like this is the issue. These are really tricky things to do by yourself so generally gifted kids will just brush it off as something they can't do because it takes so much discipline and effort
Agreed. I believe that we gifted kids will benefit more if we had a whole different program of our own.
Perhaps this is just the case for my MS, but honor classes there are very easy. The only difference between honors and acedemic was just the tests, which are slightly harder.
My district actually has a program for gifted kids which runs from 3rd to 6th grade. Apparently they’re thinking about removing it from what I’ve heard from my friends in that class. Honestly I feel like they still could’ve done it better as I do feel like I still breezed through those years for the most part.
Also I think that grading is failing us, because it doesn't separate "success" from "effort".
I had high success, but low effort. I would get near-perfect grades on all of my tests- I was successful. However, I would do homework last minute or skip it altogether, I didn't take notes in class, and I never studied. My effort was low.
But why was my effort low? Because the classes were too easy. I was bored out of my mind every time I would do math problem sets, because it was just doing the same thing over and over again. I understood the process after the one or two practices we did in class, so I didn't get anything out of doing the problem sets.
But of course, the fact that I didn't do my homework meant that I never got good grades. Teachers and administrators then look at my list of B+es and B-es, and they go "oh, this girl definitely DOES NOT belong in advanced math/science/english/history/whatever"
Of course, that's wrong. I was getting bad grades because the classes weren't challenging enough to engage me. Had I actually ever gotten put into those advanced classes, I would have needed to start putting in that effort to start succeeding as much as I was before.
Naturally, that didn't happen until college. I went into more difficult classes and I suddenly would have benefitted from taking notes. But how do I take notes. And I would have benefitted from studying, but how do I study? I would have benefitted from asking for help, but how do I ask for help?
I eventually figured it out, but that transition was tough. The one thing that kept me going is that for the first time ever, I was genuinely interested in every single one of my classes.
The "study to teach" method really is a game changer. It puts me into a new mindset and turns the whole thing into a challenge. Some things that I do that helped keep this idea engaging is to imagine my audience, try to put everything on 1 page (per topic), put all concepts into drawings, and basically outline it so that if I need to refer back to my notes, I will find the information I need in no more than a few seconds. It turns the whole note-taking process into its own game and when I did this, I always had the best notes. Oh and also, try studying and note-taking on NOT lined paper - like just computer paper. For me, it helps my ideas flow easier like you're just writing on a small white board
Computer paper?
@@ainternet_userisnteveryone524 A4 size blank paper sheets
I actually dropped off from school during the pandemic because of this. In-person lectures were never a problem because I would just absorb all the info, but I started struggling so much with online classes. I got frustrated that I wasn't understanding anything, started losing motivation, failed some classes, lost my parent's support, and had to drop out and get a job 🙃 But now I least I know there's some science behind it, so I'll definitely use these tips to learn how to study by myself
I was in the honors program for gifted students all throughout my life. In there I was the top student. I almost always got the highest score in every test. My grades were perfect.
But with being so called “gifted” also came with a lot of stress. It also caused me to become a perfectionist. If I don’t get a perfect score, even if I got the highest score, I feel like I failed. I study a lot. I study when I come home from school, I wake up extra early to study. I study hard to get the perfect grade and when I do, I’m satisfied for a couple minutes and then I go back to studying and stressing about my next exam. This causes me a lot of stress but I try not to show it.
Being a perfect student also came with very high expectations from those around me.
Everyone would know me for being academically brilliant, especially in science and math. Many people thought I would become a scientist, a doctor or a professor or something. But I don’t want to be any of those things. I don’t even like math or science much, I’m just very good at them because of how much I study. Instead I’d like to be a playwright and a performer because I’m very into theatre. But unfortunately in my country theatre isn’t cared about, at all. Whenever I tell people about my dream they’re like “It would be better if you do something with science and math.” “Science can take you to better places in life.”
I honestly have no intention on studying anything related to math or science past high school. I intend on studying so much that I get accepted to a great university for drama in the UK or in US.
But I feel this immense pressure on me. I feel like if I follow my dream I would be seen as a “failed genius”. My family wants me to be a scientist as well. Because both my parents are scientists and their parents were also scientists, my parents friends are also scientists. They’ve also spent a lot of money for my tutoring classes, my textbooks and I don’t want to disappoint them. I’m also an only child so I feel like I have to make them proud.
There is also the loneliness that comes with it. I have no friends. That might not sound like a problem but it is. All I want is a single friend who understands me. I often fantasize about having friends, I write about it as well, it’s kinda like an escape for me.
Despite being in the same high school for one and a half years (I’m currently in the 10th grade), all people talk to me is about how my grades are. I also get some very jealous treatment from others, sometimes verbal bullying, because I didn’t share my answers with them and quote “think I’m so much better than them.”, when I really don’t. There’s a bit of popularity that comes with it as well but I have no actual friends. I tried to make friends before but everyone’s in their individual friend groups and it’s very hard to just “blend in”.
I sometimes wish I never tried so hard in school, and was only seen for my creativity for writing and acting. Maybe then people wouldn’t see me just as the “smartest girl in school”.
But on the bright side my journey isn’t over yet. If I get into my dream university when I graduate I feel like I can finally be seen as me instead of “the smartest girl in school”. I haven’t told my parents about my dreams yet but they’re great parents. They probably won’t agree with my future decisions but they will try to be supportive.
Good luck
@@sergeantmoo7832 Thank you.
I can not emphasis this enough: Do what *you* want to. Do not chiose the path your parents want for you.they actually want the best for you and the best thing for you to do is to listen to your career wishes. After high school, people are supposed to start their adult life. And it consists of making your own decisions, even if you will fail. Because to be appropriate 30 year old, you have to do a lot of trial and error earlier in your life. And if you choose to "not make mistakes"=listen to your parents, you won't learn anything and will have to do your iwn learning later on, when it will be inappropriate and maybe even embarrassing. I've seen some thirty years old who still haven't grown uo and I actually feel sorry for them. Would not recommend.
@@monikap8777 Thank you. I hope to pursue *my* dreams instead of my parents dreams. But the thing is, my dreams aren’t as secure as my parents expectations.
Scientists make good money as long as they work hard. But playwrights make money _if_ people like their plays. A playwright’s reputation is also a lot easier to ruin than a scientist’s reputation, one controversial play or thing said/done in public and bam! the media hates you.
Also, being a playwright isn’t even a job in my country, so I’d have to leave my home country to study university and that would most likely cause me to graduate with debt which would be hard to pay off.
But despite all that, I’d rather be a playwright to follow my passion instead of becoming a scientist to achieve my parents expectations.
@@MinisDunyasi5 @@MinisDunyasi5 from my own experience, I can assure you that choosing what you actually do not feel is for you will be the mest expensive. If you choose to pursue being a scientist and that's not what you actually want, two things will happen :either you won't even be able to finish the college because it will make you sick to study it, or you will finish it and become sick later on when you realise you hate it. Dunno what your beliefs are, but I believe there is a right path that God wants as on, and if we choose it he will provide all that is necessary, we shall not worry about big loans for our education. But if we choose the wrong path, as a gentle parent, you will hear His whisper that you should have pursued the theater, and you will know it's true and it will be killing you softly. I think there's a quote saying something along the lines "good enough reason why will make things easier".
Wish I had this information available to me growing up. I was told I was gifted and never felt that way. Now I know why.
A technique for studying I've used (and I've had great success with) is awlays stop studying/working when you get to a point that makes you happy.
Never stop at a point where you're bored/stressed/exhausted/etc. or you'll start to associate those feelings with the work.
I never heard of the Pomodoro technique, but my technique was inspired by some basic research into neuro lingustic programming (NLP). Its its worked a bloody charm for both studying and doing work in general.
A better way to put it is to always keep studying until you find something interesting enough to leave it on a cliffhanger.
Example: When I worked as a software engineer, I had to program things. One problem might be boring and repetitive, or it might be a super frustrating bug that I cant figure out. But then there might also be a new problem that I dont know how to solve yet, and I have to research a solution. And that solution might be something super cool.
To structure my day, I'll first research that new problem to look for an interesting solution, when I find it, I'll stop there. Then I'll start working on the frustrating bugs and repetitive problems. Near to the end of the day, I start prototyping that thing I researched earlier, and I typically get super involved. The day ends, I head home, and the next day, I can't wait to go in to work on that prototype.
Say I run into some annoying bugs with that prototype, I'll keep working on them until I resolve one, and I'll start working on the next thing, then when it feels resolved and less stressful, I'll move back to the boring and repetitive stuff. End of the day, start working on that interesting prototype again. Rince and repeat.
Not sure how much that made sense but meh.
Study to teach…
Last semester I had a calc-physics class that was fairly difficult but I actually came out proud of my performance. The thing is, the class had homework but it wouldn’t be graded. You’d just get extra credit from volunteering to explain the HW problem to the class. Even as someone who generally procrastinates and underperforms, I pretty much did every homework in that class and volunteered whenever I had the chance. It was definitely the thing I liked most about that class
Now I understand why I’d always get confused in 5th grade when someone would ask me : For how long do you study a day?
Me: you mean homework?
"Studying? What's that?" That's so relatable. I didn't realize the distinction until my senior year of high school.
I'm not sure if I'm a gifted kid or not but I suffer from the problems you described in this video. It really helps me to see there are methods and ways to deal with those kinds of problems and that I'm not the only one out there struggling with it and having an opportunity to change something. I really appreciate you and your work, even if I stumbled across your channel just an hour ago. Stick to producing such helpful content and I will try to take your advice. Hopefully I'll notice a positive change in my nearest future. 🙏
Never have been a video been so relatable to me. Always have been a gifted kid, and things started to dwindle by the end of middle school. As soon as he talked of studying for teaching instead of studying for learning, giving a big purpose for the task, it really resonated with me. Thanks so much for your altruistic work, sir!
doctor K you are my biggest inspiration, mainly because you were a gifted kid too, I'm 19 years old and I'm a little discouraged from the entrance exam and my current course, you being a psychiatrist who also mixes the human part in your videos without ever forgetting the the physiological part helps me not just to see my emotions as something raw and hard to overcome and encourages me to be better every day even with so many difficulties. I hope soon to be able to say that I got into the course I want, and if I do, you deserve a lot of credit for teaching me through your videos how to deal with my problems and how to come up with practical solutions for them. We love you
This is one of my favorite videos you've ever put out. Touches on everything I knew I needed and even things I didn't know I needed, even outside of studying.
Things always seemed to come naturally to me so I never learned most of these crucial skills. Tried so hard to improve my lack of motivation and inconsistent efforts by mimicking what I thought a normal, successful person would do, only to end up "doing everything right" yet never seeing changes. Plus with so many issues that need fixing, it gets overwhelming very easily. Every second of this video had me thinking "hey, that's me" and addressed a problem I've been trying to solve, right when I needed something like this the most. THANK YOU.
Uni is when it actually hits you.
One either gets bored or overwhelmed too easily and gives up too fast
Find your level of eustress (when it's just difficult to excite you but not enough to overwhelm)
Study to not learn but teach (conceptual learning and makes it more challenging cause you have to master the material)
Dealing with boredom: Boredom is an impulse that makes you want stimulus. Don't study because you FEEL like. So use pomodoro to make you study and stop studying despite how you feel. Collect your resources beforehand so you don't get distracted while you try to find em while studying
How to study: Write. Review regularly. Environment matters (study in the same place and and only study there). Create physical boundaries. Phone on dnd. During breaks, walk. Don't use tech
Studying is a skill you prolly weren't taught. You have the chance to learn it. You're not lazy
Thank you for the summary! I was a bit triggered by something that he said later in the video and almost forgot many of the good points at the start. It's great to be reminded.
My video game analogy that I got from this video is that you might have insane aim or talent in a game, but if you have 0 game sense you can only reach a certain skill level. And only by learning how to properly play and understanding the game can you only truly get better and hit your potential.
This video could not have come at a better time. I'm literally 5 days in to studying for my CompTIA A+ Cert (IT Stuff).
Everything you said applied to me growing up; honor roll throughout elementary and no real parental intervention throughout all my years of school.
Cut to me in college and I struggled to retain anything I learned. I have a bachelor's degree but I suffer from imposter syndrome because I was either too lazy or too incompetent when it came to studying and so I didn't hold on to the information even if I did well on assignments and tests.
This not only helped me realize my errors in learning to study, it also taught me that I'm not alone, and that many others have suffered a similar fate. Even if this came after I finished school, it is still a godsend.
Thank you, there's still hope.
Same. My parents were studying with my little sister who actually had to put in some effort and has a doctorate now, but I got good marks. Hit the wall when I went to college. Depression, stuff, failed out of that twice, went and learned a trade - picked it up like breathing. But now I'm thinking of a total career change, figured I'd look into IT - and am currently at the point on my edX course where while the material is interesting, I'm no longer exitedly opening the next unit, I'm already behind, failed to completely internalize some super elementary bits and am, sort of, fading out.
It could not have been better timed.
You got this! Check out Professor Messer for great breakdowns of the CompTIA subject material. He helped me through Sec+ years ago.
@@0num4 thanks, I'm actually already following his video series!
How are you studying /learning now?
I can't seem to learn everything longterm only for exams, them I forget.
Thanks for this comment, I'm going through college right now and those same feelings resonated deeply with me.
This is great, thank you. I didn’t hit a wall until about junior year in high school and when I hit it, it was HARD. I did fine until college and then the stability of high school and having someone there helping me with mundane tasks, like food and shelter, disappeared and I was lost. I’m still having to take my time overcoming the panic I feel towards school now and it sucks. I love learning and I can be extremely good at it but I’m struggling so much with balancing everything. I tend to be a 100% or nothing person and I feel trapped when I can’t give 100%. If I can’t learn EVERYTHING about what I’m interested in, then I tend to not even try and college classes go so fast that I tend to feel like we’re only skimming the surface and not delving deep enough and I hate it. So thank you for breaking it down like this and helping people like me start a journey towards taking control of our education. It makes me feel less alone.
If you can take the time to study deeper and increase your understanding it can help.
The few times I did that allowed me to breeze through a couple more classes.
Gifted (former) Kid here and I love the video. If it helps anyone here, one thing I've learned to do that wasn't touched on in the video is the context in which I begin my studying journey. I usually set my 'goal' a little further out than I'm capable and then take steps to approach. I find that if I set out to learn something abstract like, for example, How to Play the Piano - I find the information hard to grasp because it lacks application. So instead I'll set out to learn a particular piece of music on the piano and each "roadblock" along the way will give me an opportunity to solve a little problem that then gets me closer to my goal. It turns out the real learning is the problems I solved along the way! Everything said in this video is then applicable to the little problems I'm solving.
I love this!!
Maybe the real learning, was the friends we made along the way
right, its the idea of putting context around abstract ideas. it's an excellent way to learn. another example is in programming. a great way to learn is to actually make projects with the concepts you want to learn. or you can try to program solutions to actual problems that would make you more efficient. hard to learn things in a vacuum!
Yeah former gifted kid. I ABSOLUTELY need my Why before I do anything or it just is a waste of time (my biggest pet peeve). Why is important.
Sounds like a good tip. Commenting to find it again :)
17:50 There’s taking you out of the pit and bringing you to ground 0, and then there’s going above ground 0 and up the mountain - and that part’s not covered by therapy. But there definitely needs a form of it.
I just watch your video titled “being a gifted kid is actually special needs” I think the big thing that made studying hard for me is being A.D.D. Young and not finding out till adulthood. It was very hard for me at a young age to do things I didn’t like. Like it physically hurt me. But I was a natural at anything I put my mind to.
I’m glad I saw this before things actually got difficult, will try to learn this skill before going into school again
Personally I found that the only way I can learn is by observing other people (mainly teachers/profs) doing something 2-3 times and then doing it myself, which can generally work out, especially in subjects where you don't have definite truths, but has definitely prevented me from studying in STEM, despite excelling at it up until going to college, since in college you don't get enough time to study that way.
I’m watching videos about this while procrastinating my 6 lessons I need to finish by tomorrow morning when it’s 5m, my biology quiz which I have no clue what it’s on, my world history project that I don’t even know what it’s over that’s due at the start of class, and my Chinese project. 😃
I definitely identify with some of these issues…100 wells 1 foot deep is the story of my life. I’ve implemented some of these tips and absolutely agree they’re critical for someone who didn’t need to study originally. Will look more at studying to teach I HAVE always liked helping people understand things
Bro really came out here and described my entire life.
I was, I would say, a pretty gifted kid. I learned extremely fast and easily. I cannot ever remember forcing myself to sit down to study during K-12 except when I got to high school and some of my classes required notes as assignments. If it weren't for that I don't think I ever would have really sat down to study at all, and even then I barely did. I would just blast through all of my assignments, and then do whatever the hell I wanted. Because I was rewarded for it. Because skimming through life worked. I graduated as top of my class in high school, and right about then I just stopped caring.
Bad idea. I went to college and classes were still just about as easy. So I didnt care, and I didnt apply myself. But it became harder to consume everything for a course in a couple of hours as I progressed. But I didn't know how to study normally nor do I still know now. I often said to myself the world rewards diligence not talent. And here I am about to be booted from college while my friends who simply worked hard are graduating early.
I've always wanted to go back in time to when I was in elementary school because I distinctly remember deciding to stop trying. I thought all my friends were like me, that nobody works hard, and that we're all just choosing not to apply ourselves because its just too easy. Imagine my shock years later when I realized they had been diligently applying themselves while I had been, for lack of a better word, "lazing" around.
So i've always wanted to go back in time, and tell myself to not stop. To try. To reach somewhere else where things were difficult. To make things hard for myself by trying something big instead of just wasting all that time. Thats why I hope I can find kids like me and save them from the years of waste that I went through.
Im still hoping I can change. Maybe I will. Maybe these techniques will save my sorry ass. I sure hope so.
omg we're on the same boat😔 i'm like a semester away from getting kicked out
This describes most of my childhood and early adult years perfectly 😐.. I know that I would have benefited greatly from most or all of the interventions/advice that you mention, and I hope that schools (and parents) are aware of this phenomenon now. It took getting a masters and spending my mid 20s to early 30s grinding myself out of the hole to eventually become what I consider "successful". I strongly believe it wouldn't have taken me so long to get here had I been taught and treated a bit differently.
Hey how cool is it that you shaped up and even got a masters, nice!
I finished my bachelor 1.5 years ago, and started working. I'm finding myself wanting to go back and do a masters. Keeping the context of this video in mind, is it something I can jump into and start changing my habits/mentality or is there more help needed before starting? How did you help yourself?
@@yasarovicmiqomotan1496 So after underperforming in my undergrad studies, it was difficult to find a regular job, which I did eventually. It didn't pay well, and I didn't like it, but I stuck with it. I tried for years to get a better job, to no avail. But something happened to me through all that struggle: I became more mature, and learned how to work hard. I really had to convince myself that a master's would help my situation, and that I would be able to finish it. Once I was there, I did my master's in a year and a half while working full-time. Studying/homework no longer felt like an optional chore and I crushed my classes. There was a night-and-day difference between my undergrad performance and graduate. Choosing which master's to pursue was another struggle, but that's an entirely different conversation. I don't know where you are mentally, so I can't really say whether or not you are ready to jump into it. All I know is that I was not ready 1.5 years after undergrad, it took me longer.
@@tjmanifest quite inspiring, you flipped the switch and pulled through with all the effort required. Good on you for real, it's inspiring to me :) I guess in terms of my mental state I went from "I have to do xyz" to "I get to experience xyz". I started liking studying and working more because it allows me to learn, and I love learning. I do admit I usually struggle with putting in effort for things that aren't as appealing, or when I can't get an explanation why we are doing the task(s). Others usually describe myself as a rather curious individual. Could you perhaps elaborate on what master you chose? I'm also quite in the same struggle.. My background is in Finance, and honestly I have an okay job but it doesn't feel quite satisfying. Something inside me knows that I could put a lot more effort when I find something that keeps scratching my curiosity, instead of being busy with things that I can't even question..
@@yasarovicmiqomotan1496 Firstly, thank you. Second, I don't think telling you which masters I decided to pursue will help, because different things appeal to all of us. I considered going back to school for many things: mech or chem engineering, nursing, MBA, accounting, pharmacy, MD, Computer Science, etc... You sound like your mindset has started to mature, which is great! I will say that in my experience the vast majority of jobs are not really satisfying, and coming to terms with that is a hurdle many face. I'm finally content in my career because I work with good people, my knowledge and opinions are respected, there's good work/life balance, and it pays decently. I don't have all the answers, I just hoped my story might help someone. If I could go back and do things all over again starting at 17/18, I'd probably go for medicine or something more interesting to me personally, but at my age with my responsibilities it wouldn't be feasible. A few other things: Your job is "okay", so can you climb the ladder? Get certifications? Have you tried understanding on a deep level why you're asked to do these tasks a certain way (on your own)? Finance with an MBA can be a solid combo, but more schooling isn't always going to help (unless your employer will pay for it, then go for it). It may not feel like it, but you have time to figure things out and learn more about yourself. Best wishes!
@@tjmanifest From all of the comments you typed it does really sound like you're content, it's kind of radiating. You're right that different thing appeal to us. I do have options to climb up within the company. Since I have not much financial obligations, I don't have much responsibilities to give up if I do decide to switch up into another study or field. It is a bit tough though, it gives you career anxiety. If there's still so many options to choose for me, it has to be the "right" choice if that makes sense. Then again your last sentences are right, there is time to figure it out and maybe the uncertainty should be something empowering instead of debilitating
Cheers, best wishes to you aswell
I’m a 12th grader and I needed this because my finals are two days away, I think I have ADD, I’ll get checked after my tests, my little brothers are struggling too and I’ll teach them everything I learnt from my 12 years journey, I don’t want them to live the same guilt
"Learning to teach" explains why I was able to excel in the military, where traditional academics caused me significant trouble. The impetus in the Army was that I'd be teaching my subordinates and peers the material I'd be covering, so the motivation to learn it was different.
I struggled at my duty station in the airforce. Just had to study useless information to get certified.
It was so hard.
Im 19 and am a gifted kid. Fascinating to see that I have been accidentally following most of these helpful tips all my life! All during highschool, I created study packets for my classmates, and would often teach them. These not only created a very rigorous study habit, but also made me want to pursue teaching as my profession. So I guess ya win some ya lose some 😂
As a “gifted” kid who wants to be a professor, the “study to teach” point really hit home. When I read the textbook and pretend I am doing it with the intent of explaining it to other students I feel 10x more motivated
1. Study to teach not to learn
2. Pomodoro - 20 mins for 1 topic and 5 mins break (even if you still wanna keep studying)
3. Pre layout your stuff ahead of time
4. Spend one pomodoro reviewing the work you did the previous day
5. Create physical barriers to distraction - like going to the library
6. Breaks = walk around / drink water (no technology in the 5 mins)
Thanks for the amazing video! This is for my own reference.
I didn't exactly get straight A's, rather B's to C's without learning at all. I literally came back from school started playing video games and went to bed. Never really learned. Now I'm in my final years of school and I really struggle to learn at home. I rather pick up everything at school and don't dig deeper at home. I also often get bored when learning and get distracted rather easy. The problem is that I get solid A's like this. There are kids way smarter than me, still I don't have to put in much work to get close to their level. This lets me end up thinking where I could be if I was dedicated enough to put in the extra work. Still it doesn't change my behaviour and that is actually kind of depressing.
Sounds just like me. Did all your teachers also tell you that you could achieve so much if you did more at home? lol
@@eriqmav The teachers and everyone else, people in general just don't understand
I can totally relate to this, I'm currently trying to figure out how much I'll be trying to change, and how much I'll just be accepting
This makes so much sense, school was rough, but I always did better if i was tutoring someone or I was helping someone cheat
As a considered "gifted kid" I haven't had any problems with getting straight As. I thought life was so easy I could only hear something once and rule the world. But then I started to burn out, I didn't know what some information will be usefull for. I started to be quickly bored, I couldn't pay attention in class anymore. Studying in home felt so off to me because I wasn't used to it. Later it has started to track me, I felt like I was left behind. I always thought my lazyness was the cause. Thanks for this video, I feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one
1. Studying to teach instead of to learn, this feeds into your ego.
2. Boredom is brains punishment for engaging in dopamine-lacking activities.
3. How to manage boredom.
3.1 Use the pomodoro technique.
3.1.1 don't study for feelings.
3.1.2 in 5 min breaks, you reflect on what you took in.
3.2 Pre-layout your resources to avoid boredom.
4. How to Study.
4.1 Synthesis of concepts.
4.2 Review your notes and concepts.
4.2.1 three pomodoro in a row and one pomodoro for review.
4.3 avoid distractions.
4.3.1 phone in no disturb.
4.4 during breaks walk around no brain stimulation.
Wow, this hit me like a train. I've always displayed this pattern of getting extremely passionate about some new interest and learning all about it as fast as I could only to abandon the subject sooner or later. I think I've always knew this was a thing even if I didn't give it too much thought but when I was talking to my therapist about it a few weeks ago I described it in EXACTLY the same way. That at some point it's as if I hit a wall with progress in those interests, either an "intellectual" or a practical one. I either don't know how to proceed or lack opportunities/resources to (and I don't mean this to sound like I'm underprivileged because I'm not, what I mean is you can't just buy a bunch of stuff and enroll in extracurriculars every time you get interested in something new lol). I'm newly diagnosed with adhd which makes it tricky because you can't really divorce a pattern like that from how adhd presents but the two probably add up considering the sheer intensity and number of things I've been interested in. I also don't recall having studied in grades 1-7 pretty much ever which is quite telling. I'm actually not confirmed gifted but the more I learn about it the more it resonates with me. The construct of a gifted kid isn't really a thing in my country so I couldn't have known, I'm only undergoing an assessment now at 19
Also, "100 wells dug one foot deep" is such a good alternative to jack of all trades
Are you going through an online assessment? If yes, then please link them (I am interested)
Gifted is variable I think. Generally it’s above average. Often it has standards from testing and has some sort of program.
My school didn’t put me in the gifted program but I would score at the 90-99% on the standardized tests. I got a 99 on my asvab (test to join the military).
I didn’t study at any point all the way through college. Which isn’t 100% true. I could study some but I’d often get by with just the lecture.
And some subjects still just felt super easy even though other smart students had a harder time.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s normal or not. I definitely stick out. Even how I would approach some subjects.
When we solved wave forms I would set the phase and amplitude to what ever made the problem easiest. Solve it then undo the phase shift.
But ever since elementary school I was coming up with my own strategies for solving problems.
I was teaching some of the elementary strategies to my nephew my mom asked how come they didn’t teach her that way.
I think common core is doing better in teaching some math concepts. However, the teachers don’t always understand them.
dude you are changing my life. Giftedness forever... !!
I always thought it was me, i knew i learned differently than others and that i got bored hella easy but i didnt know it was that deep. I feel what made it worse for me and lead me to just think "oh, i'm lazy and just not putting in the effort like i should" was my parents did the same thing you described and they along with some teachers would tell me "oh youre borderline gifted you just need to stop being lazy"
Story time for whoever needs it.
I was in the same boat as described by Dr.K. I was an either straight As with a B at worst. I never studied, I don’t recall ever being stressed for school work. My sister on the other hand required a LOT of tutoring which I always found odd because she needed to study. Fast forward into college, I drop out. Fast forward to my second attempt at college around 24. I had a plan, and I was focused. Went through an accelerated masters program in math and stats. I full hearted believe I only made it through because I allowed myself to work in study groups. Learning to teach fellow classmates made learning for myself seem-less. I remember always asking how the smart kids in my group studied, hoping that I would discover something I was missing but it was always some boring method that would do nothing for me. I somehow managed to follow what Dr. K said in this video through pure coincidence. So thanks for this video because I always look back and wonder how the hell i managed through college, and it gives me a lot of insight into my various hobbies with a new, but familiar approach.
And the people at HGgg reddit told me that wanting to learn how to learn was overthinking. like, fellas, i wouldnt wanna learn if i could just learn it??
so yes, this was closure that was very much needed by me. veey appreciated, HGgg team 😌🙏
Absolutely eye opening. I’ve felt so bored and lost a lot of times, I have like 10 hobbies that i jump between every 2-3 weeks because i get bored really easily. Never knew i needed this
This video makes me feel incredibly seen and validated. Thank you.
I think I've finally hit this wall, this is really life changing, especially the thing about boredom! I'm going to try this tomorrow (it will be the first time I've ever studied)
Me too I hope I learned this in my school days, I'm in college now but as they say "better later than never" I guess?
I'm currently retaking my second year at uni, this basically explains my issues with studying completely. I've tried pomodoro before but I would never get far due to how i went about my breaks, I hope with your tips I can actually get it to work.
This shocked me.
I thought this would be interesting to watch to see if I can understand the mindset of a gifted kid.
And when I watched this video, it made me question if I was a gifted kid.
I have never been smart, I am actually considered dumb.
but the pomdoro technique, being a good teacher, having depression for failure, and falling behind because you couldn't study? I've never felt so understood.
even when I was younger I was pretty good at teaching, my classmates complimented me and my teacher once gave me a gift for teaching kids that were staying back (I was helping them because I didn't want to do the work myself because I was also staying back 😂😂).
These tips are actually really helpful! I applaud you 👏👏
Out of all the tips, this has been the only studying guide that has actually bothered to tell me what's the problem and what are good solutions, and it was all because it was simply for different people..
I still don't feel gifted, but I will keep my head up high and persevere 🎉
I can so much relate... I'm trying not to make the same mistake with my child that my parents (psychological therapist and psychiatrist, not kidding) did with me.
These tips can be applied to work boredom too tbh. Thank you.
This video is an Absolute Goldmine! I had been trying to incorporate pomodoro technique for a month but got bored eventually even though it worked well. I think the missing piece of the puzzle was your first tip. 'Study to Teach'. Will try and see how that works. Also I am going to watch this video again and takes notes. Thank you Dr. K.
- from another Gifted Indian Kid :)
Dr K, your channel is absolutely revolutionary and making me re-evaluate everything (in a good way). You are making me realize so much about myself. I have struggled with studying so much as a gifted student. It sounds silly to call myself gifted but it’s true. I always opt to work super hard on homework’s and lab reports rather than studying for tests. And it always works out. Until it doesn’t when I have a HUGEEE test. But I normally get away with it. Thank you so much for this video. I feel so much less alone
Is being more motivated to help other people than help yourself a general thing around here?
I've often been frustrated that I just don't have the same motivation to help myself.
8:01 other interesting things the first is
8:02 that gifted kids generally speaking are
8:05 really good at helping other people like
8:06 usually you won't do stuff for yourself
8:08 but you're actually totally fine helping
8:10 other human beings
yes, i constantly helping others, eventhough i am failing in every single thing....
past year i helped more than 20 people to make projects, collage projects and actually production projects, yet, i sucked at completing my own collage project unless it's a group project that someone rely on me... i teach others when they ask for help, yet i only learn what i need to teach and i almost fail in every exam
Oddly enough I remember using that motivation to help in order to learn. Through teaching classmates who were having a hard time with the study materials, it gave me the motivation to take the time to really learn and understand the material because the next step was okay how can I relay that information easily and effectively for other people. And different people require different teaching strategies so it helped me learn in more ways than one
Yep i literally was helping people last week when i should've been revising for the same test 😭
I think that as generally true but perhabs more for us gifted Kids (now stressed out adults).
I really don't see the worth in doing something for me. I know logically that I should and it's Important but I don't love myself enough to care most of the times. But Heck do I love my friends and family.
I do so much stuff for other people that I was asked a couple of weeks ago from a fellow volentary firefighter of my station how I show so much efford to others but not myself (I wear clothes that are old got holes and a ugly, sometimes my body Hygiene is not the best, reckless behavior if I am the only one endangered) and I just sad there for a minute and replayed "I just don't feel worthy of my love..." kinda hurt saying that to my self but it felt right.
Yeah. I also need to reframe every pursuit as somehow, at least indirectly, being for the sake of others. I can't seem to care about what happens to me, my own success or happiness. Those are just tools to have more energy and influence to help people, make bigger waves of change... I've found this to be my greatest motivator.
PRAAAAIIIIIISEEEEEE! I'been looking for this FOR 16 YEARS!!!! GODDDD I'm starting tomorrow. Thank you so much 🙏
This is me. Jesus Christ, how is that possible. The depression, the longing for an objective, the 100 wells 1 foot deep, the fear of failure. Even the studying to teach! I build the craziest lectures in my mind when I'm excited about learning something new. But only on, automatic mode, and never actively about something I really should do.
I wish this video was posted a couple of years before, but, it is never too late. I can try now.
I'm 40y, all what you say on this subject across many videos resonates so much on me, now as a parent of a 11y girl who's facing many of these challenges (because school has been easy for her so far), I'm glad I'm finding ways to help her and hopefully alleviate the struggles she may have once getting into college.
At the end of the video I literally cried. I felt so seen. I'm in med school and I'm struggling since the first day. Almost everybody around me kinda know how to study. And here I am, fighting depression and anxiety before every single exam. I feel like I didn't accomplished anything and I'm here by chances. That's really exhausting. I was starting to believe I'm a lazy, rubbish person.
Thanks for the video, I'm going to try what you said.
Thank you, truly thank you.
18 years of my life until now i could never find an answer to my problems.
“Learn to teach” huh?
Probably the single most useful piece of advice ever given to me for my studies.
Wish i had this 5 years back, but at least my current studies will improve, so I can’t really complain.
god yeah i feel like i could end life anytime now considering how boring life is and finding out how meaningless everything is. As a gifted kid growing up until the junior year of high school, I could consider myself a gifted-gifted kid. That a hundred wells dug one foot deep was so well said because I was learning college materials right before junior year started. The first half year was perfectly fine but because it was fully quaratined, the bare minimum thing started to go below bare minimum. Then the below bare minimum A's start to become b's and c's. Sooner or later I find myself soo behind all the other kids. The worst part was I had two classes fail that year and it struck me hard. The next year I had one class with juniors a grade behind me and then everything started going downhill. I didn't want to do anything and the moments I had trying to get back up always seem to failed. Self-esteem also got damaged hard. Now I'm in college doing super bare minimum to just try to get pass and I feel lazy again because everything just seems so stupid and boring to me now. Also the guilt I feel that I feel like im disappointing my parents after they say its alright, they just want me to be safe and normal. Also about how this college was also a bare minimum choice out of the other colleges I wanted to go to. How I think it's a low class university, but hey. It is what it is and to think of it, what if I could make it out alive and do even better than those good colleges? Honestly thanks to HGGG or else idk what to do. I'm like lazy to the point I don't want to see a therapist because I'm scared of my parents finding out about my problems. They've already had enough from life. These videos for real deep down in my heart, I really do appreciate them. Thank you.
I'm more and more convinced I've always been a gifted autistic with adhd, but I've been in burnout since I was 17. I am so resentful towards the adults in my life and have so many regrets. I've been trying to rebuild my self-confidence from scratch and to heal my inner child by treating the children I look after at my oratory the way I wish I was treated.
You have some really great points here, but I think you also missed something really important. I was one of the 'gifted but failing' types, which now that I'm older and have been exploring my neurodivergence, I've learned is a combination of things that made understanding the underlying concepts the most efficient way for my mind to work around my disabilities. So, I was always a great conceptual learner, because I have to be, because I need it like it's being explained to a preschooler, but I had to get to those understandings myself, since that's not the way schools teach. Where I struggled and school absolutely failed me was in application, school is totally divorced from being able to use any of your knowledge for real things. I didn't do any homework in high-school aside from essays because I had another friend who was similar to me and we would have fun writing really insightful essays about books we didn't read and things like that, or connecting ideas that other people wouldn't. It was one place we actually were allowed to apply ourselves. Schools never let you work on real problems, and so the application part of learning is totally absent. You spend all your time working on "problems" that aren't real problems because they've been curated to fit the methods the school wants to teach instead of letting you use your mind as a tool and become adept at that. Even things like word problems are written with the equation they want you to make in mind. Both my friend and I ended up going to the same college at different times where we learned to drive ships and navigate them across oceans, in other words, solving actual dynamic problems. Both my friend and I went on to become really strong autodidact learners, but we both really did it in spite of the education system, which in my mind really atrophies the minds of most students by not letting them work on the fundamental problem of "what type of thinking should I apply to this situation?" So many people get left in this state of either wanting to be told what to do all the time, or having a chip on their shoulder in self defense. I eventually got the chip off my shoulder, but it took years of just feeling totally lost. Learning to study IS a really important thing to learn, but gifted kids don't need to meet the measure of a fundamentally flawed schooling system, the schooling system needs to be completely reworked because it's failing everyone and then blaming it on the people it hurts.
You just narrated my life story here. I have faced this problem too, I would like to elaborate my story but I have an exam tomorrow which I have to study for. I’ll come back here to comment my story.
@@ishitaagrawal1752 Are you exams over now and are you free? I would like to hear your story
Can you tell what are autodidact leaners? And how did you explore your neurodivergence?
While you are 100% correct in saying the school system is flawed, a video won’t be able to change that. I think that the video has some excellent strategies to deal with the messed up system that school is, which is very helpful
My mother never really paid attention to my learning and she herself admits that a lot. She used to help my older brother who is a bit weaker in some subjects. I consider myself lucky because in a little free time that my father used to get, he was able to teach me some things and help me learn. Which is why I am not completely ruined.
In 10th, I am now learning how hard it is to actually understand the material. Still without help because now my mom goes to office. But thankfully, Internet is kind of helpful.
This is very relatable, because I also see myself as a (former) gifted kid. Many symptoms are a perfect description of me when I was a kid / young adult. Now as a somewhat functional adult, many solutions presented by DR. K are also very familiar. Incredible how my condition was finally being understood and diagnosed.
Storytime: I struggled twice in life, once during middle school and once at university during my bachelor's degree. In school, it was more the classic laziness / shame / gifted kid syndrome but I somehow pulled myself up and started studying again and it worked. The bigger hit came during my bachelor's degree in physics where my work group of students started to break up, because we were all transitioning into our master's program and everyone picked their own courses. Suddenly I was alone and not used to being alone (and some other private factors), and it all overwhelmed me. I became the guy I despised the most, lazy, procrastinating, useless, overweight, no goal in life. To this day I regard it as a miracle that on some rainy october day, I suddenly said to myself "enough. No more, time to get my life in order.", I then kept crying the whole day, I confessed to my then girlfriend how useless I was, and then I started the very painful climb up again. The side effects of year-long procrastination were severe: I forgot much of physics and had to relearn it, I forgot how to study and focus, I forgot how to write a thesis, forgot how to manage my finances, forgot how to be punctual, basically everything. Now I am married, having kids and being alot wiser.
I am actually impressed how much of my painfully obtained wisdom is so beautifully described by Dr. K. Deep respect for sharing this and attempting to help other gifted kids.
Great job turning your life around man. Keep it up king.
Damn congrats bro, glad to see you got through it 💪👑
I m also suffering😢
Omg Thank you! I've been saying being smart is the biggest obstacle in learning for so long and people thought I was being insincere 😭
Everything sounds super applicable. I'll be using these now. Saved the video so I can keep coming back to it.
I've been homeschooled my whole life. Everything I've ever learned has been from a textbook. I've learned the best way I can make my system efficient, although it probably won't be applicable to anyone in public school 😂
1. (Most subjects) I study until I'm tired and my brain stops processing the information. Sometimes I'll pick up a textbook and in 15 minutes will be totally lost, other times I can study the same subject for 5 hours straight. Regardless, when I stop understanding the information, I switch subjects. When I've finished all subjects I'm going to do for that day, I do nothing until I sleep. I go to sleep thinking about problems I'm having difficulty on. When I wake up and start again, I find that I understand everything perfectly. Sleep just makes things 'click' for me.
2. (Difficult textbook subjects) I always do difficult subjects while watching tv, youtube, or listening to music. My favorite of these is watching Psych. For me, the trick is to find something funny enough to distract me, yet mindless enough I don't need to pay very much attention to it. This is what I do for Math (currently trig/precalc) and Advanced Chemistry. For some inexplicable reason, the distraction allows me to focus, whereas if I attempted to just sit and work on that subject with no distractions, (I've tried this multiple times) it always ends with me remembering little to nothing and staring at a wall daydreaming.
3. (Audio/Lecture subjects) When I listen to lectures such as for history or government etc. I do so while playing stupid mindless games on my phone. Again, this small bit of distraction allows me to pay attention to what is being said instead of daydreaming. I have no idea why this works. I also always listen to lectures/youtube videos on 1.5x speed.
Again, these are what help me (as a homeschooled student) and may not help anyone else. Regardless, those are my recommendations.
Inb4 ADHD maybe
No stimulation = Painful boredom = Major craving for "shiny stuff" a.k.a. distractions.
Sufficiently passively occupied (mindless pen twirling, leg stepping, music, gaming, fidget spinning, etc) = Mind doesn't crave for distractions as much/anymore = Can fairly pay attention to work/study/tasks.
Motivation comes in bursts - more likely to come if it involves Creating/Competing/Completing/something that Captivates you
Does that sound right?
Also thanks for the tips 👍
@@jjQlLlLq definitely describes me 😂
OMG I'm shocked... you just helped me understand my entire life... by the mourning that's coming up in me now of what was and what will never be... I'm guessing that this is the root cause I was searching for. thank you!
Oh my God... this is what i have been looking for so long. Thank you ! I think it will realy help me to not feel like a loser and finally get my stuff together.
I'm watching this video instead of working in my 9-5 tech job or doing anything else productive towards my goals because I get bored but also overwhelmed with the amount of tasks I have to do. This video is a gem! Thank God for this video!!
Ooh, new Dr. K video dropped! I _was_ just about to about to study, but I guess it can wait a bit!
My husband and child are both diagnosed as gifted and with ADHD. Your channel is so helpful in helping me understanding them better. Thank you.
One struggle I found particularly hard was realizing in high school that a lot of kids would be friendly with me only when they needed my help with schoolwork, and then not care about me otherwise.
It made 'studying to teach' lose a lot of its appeal and I think formed a negative association with academic success in my mind.
this is so relatable, for me i was fine through elementary, middle, and high school, but the second college hit I really found myself way behind my peers in terms of knowing how to study and having the discipline to be able to get myself up and to my desk to do it
Omg... why?
I was considered a gifted child and also was undiagnosed ADHD until some months ago.
At almost 30, I'm actually trying to learn things properly for the first time, with the added challenge that I'm also a teacher.
I get really sad when I start to think about how needlessly I struggled through my life, when a good solution was a few calls away and because of the gifted kid part I ended up neglected because I was doing just "fine".
Many of my students deal with have ADHD and other issues, I had the same problems that my students seems have and that you described, but I... powered through until college and it wasn't pretty. Nowadays I'm simply trying to guide my students so they have easier lives than I had.
I still don't know how to study, I'm trying to learn how to "overcome" boredom and social anxiety. I just also realised that I was severely dependent on my ADHD Hyperfocus and anxiety to function, all my skills were learned because of my hyperfocus, but hyperfocus is a fickle muse and I have back and shoulder injuries because of that.
I always felt like there was a huge gap on how I functioned compared to my peers, I couldn't simply do things even If I could understand then easily, treatment for ADHD has been a huge help, but there's a gap of knowledge and I'm trying to learn how to deal with.
But how can one have back and shoulder pain due to hyperfocus? Isn't hyperfocus like focus with a very high intensity? And can you tell how you used your ADHD hyperfocus, which has not been considered good, and 'anxiety' to your advantage?
@@ainternet_userisnteveryone524 Hello, these are good questions.
In my experience and other people I asked, ADHD hyperfocus is uncontrollable. That means that once I started a activity that triggers my hyperfocus I usually get "stuck" in that activity, I lose sense of time and I forget to do basic things like eating or going to the bathroom.
So saying that hyperfocus is high intensity focus is a bit of a oversimplification, because you don't choose when it will happen and when it will stop. A high intensity focus would be the flow state which is controllable , I particularly see it as the good sibling of hyperfocus.
Saying that I used my hyperfocus and anxiety to my advantage is a bit strange, but I really get what you meant. Mostly I know because I went to therapy and to the psychiatrist and talked a lot about my habits, that was a big part of getting diagnosis for me, because if you do something that you can't control that is a problem and hyperfocus has a lot of drawbacks that people usually don't talk about.
The biggest part of hyperfocus, in my experience, is that you don't choose on what you focus, anything that catches your attention may end up in a enormous amount of research. You also don't choose when you will stop, so you may get a "degree" on that or just enough knowledge to talk about it without being able to apply anything. Also afterwards when the hyperfocus is gone, you get tired of the subject, sometimes you never do that again even when doing that again is advantageous.
The activity that I usually got stuck was drawing, which benefits a lot from long practice and is a skill that you need years to build, but drawing for long hours without breaks is very bad for your body, you NEED to stop and stretch or else you will slowly destroy your back, shoulder and arm. For several years I would wake up and draw until it was time to sleep with minimal breaks, that's why I got shoulder and back pain, that's just not healthy.
I also was dependent on my anxiety because ADHD means that you get executive dysfunction, so anxiety played the role of making me desperate enough to start something and finish it quickly, this happened a lot in college, I started a lot of essays hours before it was due and usually managed to send it to my teachers before the due time. I pulled a lot of all-nighters for things that could been done easily and without stress if i started it the week before it was due, and it wasn't like I forgot about it, I just spent the week telling myself to do the essay without being able to.
Sorry for the long answer and I hope this helps whoever read this.
I unfortunately turned off my anxiety. Sometime in high school or middle school I didn’t have an assignment done. I had been missing days to do the assignment but one day I just accepted things and went to school without it done.
After that anxiety for assignments never arrived in a way that was helpful.
Really needed smaller goal posts for large projects. So I could do them real quick at the last moment.
As someone who had 0 studying skills going into college, I can relate to the difficulty of learning how to actually allow yourself to learn material studying. This is some very insightful knowledge that took lots of trial and error to find out on my own. Thank you for sharing this with others, I’m sure it will help many!
This is definitely something I struggled with once I got to college. I just didn't know how to study, the way I saw it I either got the material during the lecture or by the first read through of a text or I didn't. It aggravated several of my friends/fellow students that they saw me not studying and having mixed results, or doing great on papers and sucking on tests, or whatever. I remember a friend of a friend in a polisci class losing her mind at me for not studying and I didn't know how to be explain that it just wasn't a skill I had ever been taught. I think she thought I was an egotistical jerk because I think I just shrugged in response, like I just had no words to respond to her with. I'd try to study either sitting in the library or in the quad or wherever and nothing, I couldn't do it. I'm doing some post bacc certs now and already realized I still need help with studying. My brain just shuts off and slogs through the textbooks when I'm trying to study.
This was pretty much me. I either learned things from hearing it once, or no amount of studying it would teach it to me, with very little in between. I didn't even think i was capable of becoming better at things i sucked at until i was well into my 20's, and didn't have any meaningful input as to *how* I learned until my mid 30's. I retain A LOT more from audio/visual or doing than from reading/writing. I often require more spoonfeeding of small details than most people to "get" things if I don't get it right away.
I really resonate with the "Study to teach" advice. I think this is a technique I came across accidentally as I frequently in my life had situations where I wanted to be able to better present and distill a concept to other people, but I definitely can attest that my retention of the material and expansion of understanding on the topics was greatly increased when operating under this motivation and goal.