Thanks, Teal. My sister committed suicide because even though my parents would never love us, she made her only purpose in life to try to make them love her. She would not let go. And every time, they neglected and abused her. "She kept stuck in that futility." for 42 years until she couldn't anymore. The sad part is that she was loveable. Had she just looked else where. The universe was calling her, trying to help her but she could not hear it. Thank you. This is perfect.
Thank you Eduarda for sharing this. It really made an impact on me. I'm sorry for your loss. But am glad that you could get "above" it (the futilily). Be safe. ❤️
"Childhood is a prison". Did anyone else see how emotional that was for Teal to talk about? So raw. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with the world Teal.
@@claudia-Silva People want to commit suicide because of how their lives are, not because they met someone who said they understood them, how stupid do you have to be? that IS funny
Yes this was so refreshing to hear especially because I personally find it irritating when people talk about childhood as if all of it is great and there isn’t any “stress” a child has to worry about when that definitely isn’t the case. Childhood felt far more like a prison than it did an easy time with no responsibilities.
"Depression is a way of avoiding suicide" - Couldn't agree more. And the part of waiting for things to change/get better is spot on. Never felt so understood, thank you.
This is THE BEST ever video of Teal. I've never EVER heard someone being so RIGHT about how depression works. It really shows that Teal knows first hand what it's like to struggle with it, and how stuck we can feel, how powerless. This is giving me hope. A hope I haven't felt in weeks. No BS, no empty promises, just pure understanding. Reasonable and accessible advice. Thank you so much. 🙏 I feel seen. I feel heard.
18:46 1. face your futility 20:14 2. do the completion process with the feeling of futility 21:10 3. work with the part that resists the futility and the opposite part of that one 21:57 4. find different ways to move forward to meet your needs and desires 23:28 5. you must develop safe relationships 25:11 6. little things that makes you feel a little bit more empowered, like you have more control
Thank you ! 🙂 Could any English-speaker please explain to me what means "futility" here ? I'm french, and can't really figure out the correct translation for this word in this context. In french, we traduce it as "pointless", or "frivolous".
@@daisyg8384 “pointless” is a good synonym for “futility”. what this means is that what one does does not work, no matter how much they’ve tried the outcome of something hasn’t changed. No matter what they do or don’t do say or don’t say, it’s futile/pointless. It does NOT bring a change and the person is powerless to change it. That powerlessness becomes depression. What she’s illustrating in this video, is to find WHAT it is we’re so desperately trying to change to no avail. What we really dig our heels in the ground about and refuse to accept that it doesn’t change and our efforts produce no result. Once we identify and accept that, we seek alternative methods in which we DO have power over our own lives and take action in that direction thus empowering ourselves. Depression is the opposite of self empowerment basically. At least from my experience. A good book to read that touches upon this is: Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. Edited for grammar and spelling
I know this one applies heavily to me because I keep having to rewind the video as I'm unconciously tuning out or distracting myself from hearing the message.
This happens to me with her other videos. Best time to come back to this is when you are really bothered by depression. Just when you are most fed up is when I will listen to the solution. Then watch it again when you are feeling randomly happy :)
Public schools cater to Audio & visual learners. I am a visual /kinesthetic (hands on) learner. Note taking serves to help me visualize the lecture and helps me to stay on task. I wish they would have taught me that in grade school. 🙄
Azaleas camellias she has encouraged past “clients” to kill themselves and brainwashes people to think that suicide is an acceptable “escape” Do yourself and your loved ones a favor and walk away from this page and seek medical help
Im so impressed with this, i have spoken to so many therapists over the years and just now, age 60, feel i can actually understand what is going on with me. Fabulous!!! Thank you Teal, you are amazing
I am sitting here alone, watching this, clapping and laughing along with you because it is resinates so intensely with me. 40 years of therapy, coping mechanisms, countless self help books, meditation, even religion and I have never heard any of this explained this way. And it’s life changing. Wow! Thank you is completely inadequate, but thank you!
@@NatalieNicole2222 To work on developing a positive relationship / connection with self and others. At times we need to move away, set boundaries or learn to deal with others, e.g. emotional vampires, narcissists, etc.
I love how there's no "morality" in the way she speaks of things. A lot of the times, with other teachers and intellectuals that I follow, I get to love their work and in-depth analyses of things, but there's always a hanging sense of judgement towards some human behaviors. Like an underlying way of perceiving some behaviors as more noble than others. I love how objective and felt Teal's words always are. No judgement ever, just an open understanding. And truly, from the bottom of my heart, that makes all the difference - so thank you.
Wow, this allowed me to see my depression strictly objectively for the first time and i feel such a sense of relief! I feel like I finally get it. Thank you Teal! I feel more empowered and hopeful. God bless
Damn I didn’t even know i was depressed lol. This video made me realize that i’ve just been trying to change my childhood and family for so long. Literally the definition of futile! This video made my anxiety go away and now i can just look somewhere else and to other people! I got so hung up on trying to make my family and other people feel better and it was just never working. Time to stop doing that!! :)
I cannot stop crying. I am at the gate and am almost out of hope. Accepting the futility is so scary. I need to stop resisting futility and accept it. It is so gut wrenching.
Finally! Everything said was so true. The only thing worse than nobody trying to make your life better is when they gaslight you when you try and point it out.
WORD!!!! my husband def made me crazy, not even joking! Wish I found out about narcissists before I wasted all that energy being baffled and flabbergasted and pointlessly defending myself!
@@Rapunzel464 it’s comments like this that people suffering from depression find insensitive. “Just walk away…why would anyone stay with someone……” these comments demonstrate your lack of empathy for someone who is perhaps trying to have a meaningful relationship with a parent, for example. It’s not an easy thing to just walk away. Don’t be so flippant about it. And then there’s the whole love yourself first and the rest will follow. This statement comes from the mouths of people who don’t have a clue to the depths of despair and trauma in a person who has to build their psyche up by hand by themselves because they have no clue what healthy or normal looks like. It’s like both of us were given land to build a house, and you had carpenters and electricians and a floor plan, but I was given a few boards, a sink, and no clue how to put it together to make a house. Sometimes someone will come by and lend a hand, but many times you are stuck trying to figure it out on your own. And then it doesn’t help any if the nosy neighbor yells across the yard, how’s it going? You’re not done yet? Instead of offering any help. I’m saying all of this because people have misunderstood depression and they have made things worse by their lack of understanding that the fundamental core of a human being has been destroyed and must be rebuilt with extreme care.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The serenity prayer ❤️
Connect with your own spiritual power to grant yourself the understanding , serenity and peace you seek.. in looking outside of source you may find nothing but silence and disconnection. Grab ahold of and embrace your pain , validate that it is a communication from your soul to your body , forgive those who have hurt you , forgive yourself then ask the universe for healing..🙏
@@victoriaharper376 thank you ..I am really learning that by allowing my soul to communicate with me via my emotions , that I am much better at processing hurt/ pain and allowing for deeper healing.
But sometimes… When that moment burns and rips my insides to shreds… It doesn’t feel like it’s gonna pass. Sometimes “dancing in the rain” hurts like a motherfucker. And I just want out.
Just discovered you a few days ago. I'm floored! I'm a young creative 63 female, have done a lot of work on myself over decades, after an abusive childhood. There is something truly outstanding about out you Teal. I've met so many workshop teachers etc in my lifetime...you are a cut above them all. Your clarity is what struck me immediately, then your quiet authority. Your IQ must also be very high. I could go on! Again, I'm amazed and more than impressed by you. I will be bingeing on your teachings here from now on in. So very glad I've found you! You're a fountain of information and for such a young woman you are so full of wisdom. However did you become so...wow! Just wow!
There’s a documentary about Teal’s childhood that just blew me away. It helped me more than anything I have ever heard or seen because of my abusive childhood and adolescence. I saw it on the Gaia channel, but it may be somewhere else. I think it had the word shadow in it. Sorry I can’t be more specific, but you could probably find it. It was difficult to watch, but fascinating and very inspiring. She’s an amazing person.
Azaleas camellias How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
I was struggling with depression for almost 5 years. Every time I would think it’s gone, something would happen to remind me my depression is still there, burried deep. I totally relate to everything Teal’s saying!
Teal I have to say that you truly freed me from the chains of my depression, it gravely drained me, consumed me and made me want to die but I did not want to kill myself so I felt trapped! 😭Thank you for helping me and so many others to escape depression's solid chamber of torture and pain.
Feels like she paid me a visit, and I didn't know. I've never cried harder at any other video. "Thank you, Teal" doesn't even cut it. I just felt seen, and my heart screamed from the recognition, and created those deep sobs of real crying. I noticed I'm not the only one who finds the timing of this video *right on point. I guess we're really NOT alone. I hope to meet some of you someday. As always, I love you, Teal😭💖
Olivia Bell your not alone. I SEE YOU! I see and understand the crippling pain of depression. Your not alone by far, most spiritually inclined ppl deal with depression. Just want you to know , soul families are connecting here. Holding virtual hands with u dear one! ✌🏾💜🌎🌹🌻🦋
This video is 100% bang on. And Im currently feeling that writing this comment is futile because the YT algoryithm will bury it so deep in the comments that no one will see it. I am facing that reality , accepting it and writing the comment anyways. This is the beginning of a new chapter.
Depression is debilitating and scarry. ... Im unable to get back the life I've known... I was devastated ,... Im in so much torture .. with no want for a future
@@klanderkal Hey brother, please know you're not alone. Take it one day at a time and try to find someone to talk to who you can parse through your feelings with. Best wishes.
This makes so much sense to me. When my depression kicked in I had many unsatisfying relationships in my life, both my friends and my family and eventually in school too. For a long time I felt like even though I knew I didn't get what I wanted from my friendships I felt like I had no other choice than to stay friends with them, because I had no-one else to be with. I also had a long friendship where I for a long while waited her to change up until I finally realized she never will. Same goes with my father. Now that I have started to cut off my old friendships and started to seek new ones, I feel so much better. Even if lonely at times because now I don't have to feel pain and grudge every time I think about someone who is supposed to be my "friend". Also couple days ago I came to a point when I realized that I have had such huge expectations to myself to be in a very specific way. To be this sporty, attractive, collected, ambitious person. Then I thought, what if I would just let all this go and just let myself be, instead of expecting me to be all these specific things.
Accepted futility. Still can't see a way that brings happiness. Oh well... thank God I won't live forever. I am so looking forward to going home and finding out why I took this stupid job of coming to Earth.
@topazzsky. Yes!!! I feel exactly the same way. Always wondered why am I here. I must be an overly ambitious spirit thinking this Earth job was for me. I've vowed that when I get back home, that's it for me; I'm not coming back here again. I'm retiring. Stay strong.
topazzsky How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
@@franetica123 Yes finding your own truth is exactly what teal encourages in her videos. She even says "Don't just listen to one spiritual teacher to give you all the answers." Listening to the message of People like her is just one of many ways to "Research for yourself". Why do you believe she made someone kill herself? She made a Statement about that some time ago.
Amen sister. My childhood certainly felt like a PRISON. And you couldn’t pay me enough to go back in time to have to relive all of it like another lifetime. I’m so happy I can pick and choose the moments to heal from this safe distance ❤. You’re brilliant and I appreciate your strength so much. Thank you again
The bully in my head is screaming at me! I’m “supposed” to be above this!!! I’m “supposed” to be awakened!!! Admitting this is a problem isn’t easy. And the thing about depression for me is I don’t FEEL like fixing it.
I have used Teals approaches a couple of years, and it does work! Chronic Depression almost 20 years, now I only have a residue because I see ways out, I feel my power and self- love. I did lots of trauma work before I discovered Teal, she is one of very few who knows what she is talking about. It’s only one thing that I slightly disagree on, and it’s the “go out and do something/change something”. It’s TRUE but in my case I did many things: changed friends, environment, habits and moved away several times, even abroad, but the work is really, truly on the inside. It is VERY important to find ways to feel SAFE and beware that your relationships may not be safe even if you THINK in your mind that they are. Last note I have is the unsaid link to self medication. I hurt myself like this half my life. Stopping smokes, cannabis and alcohol has left an opening in the village door for me (though it did save me in previous times too ok?) ayahuasca helped me stop. Going down and feeling the futility is LIKE “giving up” it’s confusing but we need to meet that part of us. It’s like meeting your despair, I think, like she writes in The completion process.
@@lunalilaea4002 yes, true. I have changed my diet to gluten free, dairy free pescetarian/vegetarian/vegan, cleanses and parasite cleanses plus take into consideration the other work I've done including help from a trauma expert, aka I wasn't able to start this work on my own. It's impossible to cover everything in a RUclips comment ;)) I love Teal because she validates emotions that are shamed by most therapists that I have met.
Be there for someone with depression, dont try to change their mood by focusing on the positivity. Just give them the experience that however negative thoughts they have, or how negative their feelings are, they are still worthy of company and being loved. You can help them brainstorm the things they can do with their little energy to feel more in control of the situation. Dont get angry at them. This Teal talkmakes me so heard. No psychiatrist or psychologist has been aadly able to do that.
Thank you, Swan. You really have a gift for making people feel seen, heard and understood. There is a softness and kindness in your videos. I am learning to no longer try to get my needs met by people who will never meet them or to accept abuse. This one really speaks to me. Thank you Teal.
It is exactly me, my childhood was a hell and I’ve been experiencing all stages of depression already, I hope more people aware of these messages and spread them🙏
Yes, you covered a lot. I feel isolation coming on when my environment and people around me does not change. I'm a creator to the core, therefore I need to be amongst new experiences to be creative and develop new ideas.
Exist N Nature Media How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
I've watched this before but I watched it again today because I've been depressed lately... and I know what I need to do. Thank you so much Teal for making this incredible, life-changing video. You are such a gift to this world. Love xxx
There are no words for how grateful I am that I can learn from Teal Swan while lying in bed or going for a walk. Her work is literally saving lives. Teal, if you’re reading this, your video where you were sitting on your bed talking about how people aren’t always what they seem triggered a long spell of depression that (once I came out of it) literally added years to my life. It stopped me from going into a toxic relationship and finally made me confront my core shame and relationship issues. My life has done a 180 shift since then and now I’m paddling a canoe instead of floating on a log. I thank and love you. You grok people. Thou Art God!
The trauma I dealt with in my family is a large part of my depression, and I spend a good deal of my life trying to control outside factors in order to get them to see how they were hurting me. I tried everything until it blew up in my face. By the time I left for college, everyone had separated and it's been going down hill since. I graduated last May, and I live at home and I went through the darkest depression of my life. It was a very scary place to be. I have went through a spiritual process of forgiveness, and acceptance. It's a continuous effort, but I have done a good job so far of accepting what I cannot change. What I'm struggling with now is opening myself up to safe and healthy relationships because I'm not confident that I can create safe relationships.
Great video Teal! Futility is a really important thing to look at relative to depression. It is often, when people start really looking at the big picture and expanding their mind that they run into an bit of an existential conundrum. In life, we are used using the measuring tools of the mind (like meaning, value, significance, worth, purpose, and 'having a point'). And we use these measuring tools in 99.9% of practical undertakings to inform decisions that we make. But when we start asking "What is the meaning of life?" and "What is the point of all this?", we run into the problem that reality is incompatible with our measuring tools. And instead of realizing that reality is unshakeably valid, we succumb to depression and nihilism because our mind doesn't know how to map value onto something that is its own context. With everything else in reality, we can compare values relatively to find out whether or not something is "worth" something to us and is "significant." But if we look at something that is its own context, such as existence itself, then we can't find any greater context to compare it to to derive the idea of meaning, worth, value, significance, importance, purpose, and having a point. So, if we don't realize the limitations of the human intellect, we will think that reality is futile and invalid. And this is the cause of so much depression. Once a kid starts to question, "What is the significance of fun?" ... this becomes the death of fun. The cult of utility is strong in our culture, so we especially struggle with futility in this way.
Nailed it! People tend to minimize these feelings (try to make you feel better and take you away from your natural connection to yourself). For example hearing things like, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is a minimizing statement. Who doesn't want a permanent solution to an on going problem. Calling 10 years + temporary is over looking the fact that another minute is a lot of energy, effort and more suffering. It's literally living in hell, trapped inside your own body instead of the prison that was childhood, it's now contained within yourself. That's why suicide seems so appealing at times. Yet we can't know if it really is and if it is the best solution to end the pain. I think this is why people in depression opt for instant gratification since it's hard to make long term goals when you find it hard to participate in life.
Lux Meow It’s okay not to have long term ambitions or some huge dream if you don’t think you’re up to it if you choose to. The reason you get up each day might not be because you want to change the world, become a billionaire philanthropist or something like that. The ambition filled life has done a lot of good things - Gandhi liberated India from the British. Nelson Mandela survived years in prison to become the first black president to a country that treated blacks as slaves. Hell, even Bill and Melinda Gates today contribute billions of money to those suffering with a lack of education and those with illnesses. But the truth is that those people would be nothing without the everyday people learning from their ideas, getting things done in simple tasks, and speaking out with all the little details. Sometimes the reason to get up in a day might just be to read a book, meditate or write in a journal. Sometimes it’s to help one person each day to make a thousand small differences 365 days a year. Sometimes it’s just to appreciate your breakfast. It can be to watch your favorite RUclipsr. It can be a hobby like gardening or tinkering around. It could be just simple. Really. Nothing wrong with that at all. It’s not wasting time if you’re just taking a break if you ask me.
everything you said. I agree with and understand. the pain in the body, the tiredness... loss of energy, the determination but no energy for long term goals. I just wanted to say that
I love your clarity of thought. Nicely said. I would also add something that I have experienced, is that people do not say these things to make the sufferer feel better. They say these minimizing and shaming things to make THEMSELVES feel better when in your presence. Because these things only make the sufferer feel worse.
I've been watching "self-help" videos for about the past 3 years... I can't believe you just spelled it out so simply. I've done a lot of exercises (daily, long-term stuff), but they've only brought me so far. This was amazing. Not only do you get it, but you know what we need to do that helps. This video is a gift - thank you so much for it 💜
You're wonderful! Thank you!!! I've been struggling with depression for almost thirty years, and now I think I finally understand why. When you were talking about how childhood can feel like a prison of helplessness and futility, I felt a strong jolt, like a punch almost, right square in my heart center and caught a glimpse of the very sad, very rightfully angry little girl that's been there this whole time fighting for someone, freaking Anyone, to truly see and accept her. I realize now that what I feel most futile about is being able to reveal my highly sensitive nature without being shamed, ridiculed, or abandoned (emotionally and physically) for it. This pattern has been reinforced over and over and over ad infinitum since childhood, and I've never met anyone who really sees being sensitive as a benefit and not a detriment. Mostly I just feel as though the few people in my life just put up with me, as long as things don't get too deep, if that happens they just leave. Many times I've felt this horrible crushing loneliness right in the center of my chest, and now I know that it was this angry little girl saying 'you know what- Screw these people! They will never understand or love us, but it's okay now. We don't have to stay here anymore in front of this stupid gate! C'mon, we got other places to see.' So, I don't know where I'll/we'll go from here, but anything's better than feeling helpless and defective and utterly alone all the time. Thanks again, Teal 💚🙏💚
I wish you told me these thigs 24 years ago. It was the point in my life when I realised that something was really going sideways and I wanted to do something about it. The worst thing about this life long depression was indeed this utter loneliness. I went through everything that you described, including attempting suicide just to get some attention. I know this darkness to the bone. Incredible video. Hey people, listen to this video carefully. It´s true. Every sentence. I know it because I went the long and exhausting path of depression; I finally hit rock bottom and won. This woman knows what she is talking about, you can see it in her eyes. My reverence. As you help others I have to help others as well. Thanks!!
Well, I just went through a few polarisations of resisting and accepting by watching that and will now have to lie down and process. Which is good! Gratitude, blessings and love for Teal Swan for digital wisdom and handholding - I’m inspired to return and reflect the favour 💙💛💖✨🧘♂️🤝🧘♂️💗💓💞💚🙏
@@user-nh2oy5bf6h Goodness! You must be a most gifted "reader of minds." Can you tell what all the beautiful, sincere and genuinely seeking answers folk think as they read your Stupendous knowledge of... Absolutely bugger all???
hit. the. nail. on. the. head. the first 15minutes I was like "it all makes total sense now. the years and years of self-hatred." thank you for this video, Teal
Teal, thank you for making this video. This is the most accurate description of depression I have ever heard. Very helpful to be able to see this as holding on to a “futility” that is outside of my control. Thank you!!
The most spot on account of depression I’ve ever come across! You have such a deep understanding of mental health. Even in my work as a hypnotherapist, the first thing I always say to clients is they have to want to change how the feel to be able to get rid of their depression, or whatever trauma has started that feeling.
This is probably one of the best videos I have ever watched. Teal absolutely nails it!! Helpful because if you understand why you are feeling depressed that's half the battle to overcome it. Thank you for your amazing work and for caring.
love this, thank you teal. its very hard to explain to people with depression this topic because they dont realise how much they affect their depression, and really dont want to admit it. once i admitted it to myself (2 years ago) i startes to put an end on my years of suffering. love your words of wisdom it always helps to hear and gain others perspectives with similar ideas. big love 🤗 and I 1000% agree with you about anti depressant meds! i took them for 2 years, + other meds to any way desperatly change my feelings for me. it didnt help me one bit but trap me into the idea that I was still depressed so i had to keep taking medication. i felt all the real healing when i quit all medications. when you resist the resistince of the futility you stay trapped in the resistence untill you learn to accept it and make change
So many different golden nuggets of wisdom in this vid.! THANK YOU TEAL! "if I accepted that what I want is never gonna happen and I mean, NEVER, what would I do then or instead?" .... I would cry, I would want to not exist, I would tell myself, "never say never", I would care less about my life... I would think, "well what is the point?" I would breathe, oddly this would seem to push me to be more present focused.... Ultimately, surrender.
Best explanation of of the why. It took me 16 years to realize meds were causing more psychological problems and they kept adding more. Now I’m off of them and facing what I’ve been suppressing myself and effects of meds. Thank you for this. It is not easy but your words and channel are helping see what I need to do and a new perception.
So in tune teal. I had a huge episode a few days ago and your suicidal video helped me so much. Can’t wait to watch this thank you so much for all that you do 💛
I thought you were following your dreams...living in LA and such.... It`s a rough start for everyone in LA, but most successful youtubers are from LA. Please stay alive! Don't be vegan if you don't want to...its not for everyone.
kirdot2011 I’m still following my dreams but LA wasn’t for me. Circumstances led me out of there and I’m glad they did because vibrationally it’s not where I’m at. Following your dreams does cause depression because of comparison or feeling like you’re not where you want to be. This is what I have learned. Running off to LA didn’t solve my problems.
Hey teal swan also helped me when I was suicidal. These channels also helped me so much. 😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘 Much love to you honey 😘😘 Quick fixes *COMMAND DARKNESS AWAY, it instantly feels lighter, know you are loved and relax into the unseen loving energies of yiur spirit guides and loving collective consicousness of spirits,go into your pain and give it love and healing by validation and presence, listen to chakra healing intense frequencies hz, watch james van praagh meditation , write 50 things your grateful for, listen to music, exercise for maybe happy chemicals and play with animals* RUclips.com/theabsolute RUclips.com/kimberlyray Psychichs Christine Pavlina and Kimberly Ray channel life advice for all our pain and suffering and how to heal RUclips.com/channelingerik Elisa and a psychic channel life advice from her son Erik who commited suicide who wants to help others to not commit suicide
@@LaGataSolar yes. running off to any city wont solve your problems as long as you do stuff from negative state of mind. Its not about adjusting yourself to the rest of the world`s negativity, its about making the rest of them adjust to you. assuming you have positive intensions, that is.
Whatever you resist, persists... I hate being stuck in my hometown because the people here love talking about Christianity but hate it when I try tell them I am not Christian. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and I want to leave, but I cannot afford to leave. I need to accept that I cannot leave this town and try to find another way to deal with the people who make me feel uncomfortable.
I’m lost for words. 4 years ago was when I first came upon your channel. You helped me a lot, and then I took a long break from you. And now this video, in perfect timing. Now I know why Im depressed, and how to cure it. You are amazing. I don’t even know how to thank you. But THANK YOU.
For me the only way to cope with not getting what I really want and with futility/depression is not to care that much. I focus on what I have and try to make the best out of the situation. Like she said, so many windows are already open. If I don't give certain needs up or convince myself that I don't want it that much, I will suffer everyday. Of course I have phases where the anxiety gets so bad that I sink back into the hole of depression, but I gave up fighting it. I just let everything happen. What also helped me is to see that I can chose that. That I can chose to let anxiety happen, even if it lasts for days and that I can let the depression have its place when it's there. I basically "talk" to both of them and respect them as they always transform me and my life more than anything else. I chose to live in the now and be grateful for what I get and where I am instead of always wanting more because I already have so much. The problem of doing that is just that you tend to not care at all at times which can make you to be self-destructive and to be behind in life because you don't get anything done. But I chose to let it happen because I accept feeling powerless. I'm tired of fighting and this life is not worth it to me. That's just how it is. I love my life though and yet, I'm not the person who is crazy about wanting to be here. If I live, I live and I'm grateful for that. But if I die, that's fine, too. And I accept that, too. This point of view I chose gives me peace and releases all anxiety and that's what I need more that anything I thought I needed which caused the depression and anxiety in the first place. What still hurts, is that I hate people because nobody helps me to collaborate the life I want which is what Teal said. That one is really hard, hating people. But I'm working on that through talking to people as much as I can and focus on the good in them.
Hi Isabelle, I totally relate to you when it comes to hating/resenting people for not wanting to cooperate with us due to their close-mindedness, ignorance, fear or resistance. Teal's advice to find cooperative people when in a state of depression is rather a wishful thinking from my own perspective since people are not willing to face that shadow part of themselves when relating to people with depression. If you want to talk more about that privately, feel free to email me (Grace) at gracey2311at hotmail.com
I feel you. I wouldn’t call it hate, it’s more like I’m sad, like a letdown. It’s so hard to meet authentic people who aren’t trying to use you. I find I’m very distrustful. Sometimes I don’t pick up on a cue that someone would be good for me, sometimes “the smell of unresolved trauma” attracts the wrong kind of person. I don’t know how else to describe it, I don’t like calling it a smell, but no matter how much work you’ve done, no matter how happy you are in the moment, perceptive people will pick up on it somehow. Maybe it’s you’re very compassionate and understanding and empathetic beyond the average person that’s the give away. It really is a thing. Thanks for sharing.
I had no idea I was putting so much energy into resistance, this video has changed how I look at my life on such a fundemental level, thank you so much Teal.
Best explanation I’ve heard yet. I’ve suffered from depression on and off for years and only now starting to gain some insight into it. My depression revolves around my art and money - the futility in making art because it won’t keep me alive, and deeper than that a fierce unwillingness to participate in the rat race - the futility of living just to make money, but then what am I left with? Just my art... and the cycle continues. I’m starting to let go of the idea that I need to make money at all. I’m at a place where within a few hours of waking up I can let go, and drop into “what would I be doing if I didn’t need to earn any money”, and then I do it. These days are becoming more frequent, though sometimes it sucks me in really deep and I’m there for a few days... Thanks Teal. Great video.
I can totally relate to what you said. I'm a writer and director. Making films I care about doesn't pay. Making stupid commercials is where the money is. Everyone I know is obsessed with money and most of them are surrendering to the rat race. I believe that creating art is a way of saving my life, so I will continue on my journey. Good luck on yours!
Thank you so much for your comment!!! I feel this so deeply. I am an artist and I make jewelry. But I don’t make jewelry that is “trendy”, I make what I like and what I’m passionate about. I must make it myself, by hand. Every piece is original. Every stone is real. I have designed my own signature clasp. I can’t take any shortcuts, it has to be this way. Well it’s not the world we live in and finding the people who love it is a slow process with life in between. I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. I feel so much better knowing I’m not alone in this and there are other artists out there who feel the same way about their work. I love what you said about what would I do if I didn’t have to make money today? Today I took a long walk in the sunshine and I found a book, Getting Business to Come to You by Paul and Sarah Edwards. I can’t make this stuff up! The universe works in mysterious ways. I would love to see your work and encourage you. Call upon me anytime.
I love you teal. Thank you. At first I thought the futility is that no matter how many times I try to create a healthy romantic connection with another, I always fail. But then I looked deeper and I think it’s more that I can’t make people see my value or value me just because I value them. I can’t get people who are unwilling to meet my needs, meet them by me meeting theirs. I keep trying to have relationships with people who don’t know how to love appropriately. I keep choosing avoidant people.
This has helped me to understand depression in a whole new light, and I feel much more sure when working with clients who are feeling depressed. Thank you so.much.
I hope you know how much guidance and help you are giving me at this point in my life. I had so many therapists and psychiatrists that never could help me. In the end they just wanted me to take medication. You exude so much wisdom and enlightenment its literally making me feel less anxious to just watch your videos. I feel so understood because you have the gift to express so many truths with the precisest words. I really want to thank you for all of this.
Oh my goodness I adore you so much!!! You were the one that helped me love my monthly cycle and with that my terrible menstrual cramps went away. Thank you so much for that, I watched your video on the power of our cycle and completely changed every month for me!! I’m confident this video will change my constant recurring depression too
I can already feel rn .. having this knowledge and taking action in the direction of acceptance and excersizing the control I do have is gonna be transformational for me. I could never thank you enough, Teal. You have taught me so much throughout all of your brilliant videos. I've been depressed since 12 yrs old and I never believed that it was an inherent part of who I am. This information "resonates"😉 with me in a painful and powerful way and I am so grateful for that.
I really admire you Teal. The way she has soooo much courage to address a topic where even she is feeling so vulnerable still doing it for others. The way you healed yourself from pain gives ray of hope to everyone. I Love you Teal ❤️
It was interesting to hear her say depression is a way of avoiding suicide. I feel like I've failed my potential and see suicide as a way to escape all my frustrations. I'm not actually depressed though.
Epic! Thank you Teal for confirmation. This is exactly what I have been working on, accepting the futility of the situation and looking for other ways to meet my needs and desires. Completion process is great, by the way. I might do it on this one as you suggest
I am blown away by your insight. I wanted to end everything recently but only after watching this video twice I saw the cause of my depression that has lasted almost my whole lifetime. The empathy that you displayed and clear reasoning made me feel a type of hope I probably never felt. Thank you
Thanks, Teal. My sister committed suicide because even though my parents would never love us, she made her only purpose in life to try to make them love her. She would not let go. And every time, they neglected and abused her. "She kept stuck in that futility." for 42 years until she couldn't anymore. The sad part is that she was loveable. Had she just looked else where. The universe was calling her, trying to help her but she could not hear it. Thank you. This is perfect.
Thank you Eduarda for sharing this. It really made an impact on me. I'm sorry for your loss. But am glad that you could get "above" it (the futilily). Be safe. ❤️
Sending you love
Sorry to hear that 😔. Much love and thanks for sharing your empowerment ❤️
See this.The enlightened one explains this in this wonderful way ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
😭
"Childhood is a prison". Did anyone else see how emotional that was for Teal to talk about? So raw. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with the world Teal.
@@claudia-Silva your every comment is meant to hurt someone. Taking it out on internet strangers?
Teal is absolutely right. It’s a wonder I hadn’t realized it before. Yes, it made her very emotional and it made me feel emotional, too.
I felt it
@@claudia-Silva People want to commit suicide because of how their lives are, not because they met someone who said they understood them, how stupid do you have to be? that IS funny
Yes this was so refreshing to hear especially because I personally find it irritating when people talk about childhood as if all of it is great and there isn’t any “stress” a child has to worry about when that definitely isn’t the case. Childhood felt far more like a prison than it did an easy time with no responsibilities.
"Depression is a way of avoiding suicide" - Couldn't agree more. And the part of waiting for things to change/get better is spot on. Never felt so understood, thank you.
😊Xpdc uPojpS
This is THE BEST ever video of Teal. I've never EVER heard someone being so RIGHT about how depression works. It really shows that Teal knows first hand what it's like to struggle with it, and how stuck we can feel, how powerless. This is giving me hope. A hope I haven't felt in weeks. No BS, no empty promises, just pure understanding. Reasonable and accessible advice. Thank you so much. 🙏 I feel seen. I feel heard.
I agree. This is my favourite of hers too! It's very empowering. It's really helped me. I too feel seen and heard.
Exactly how I feel. So right!
I had been suspicious that depression was just a chemical dysfunction. I pray that I can get deep enough out of the funk to do the work
Best video I've ever seen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😊
Why it's not shareable
18:46 1. face your futility
20:14 2. do the completion process with the feeling of futility
21:10 3. work with the part that resists the futility and the opposite part of that one
21:57 4. find different ways to move forward to meet your needs and desires
23:28 5. you must develop safe relationships
25:11 6. little things that makes you feel a little bit more empowered, like you have more control
You’re helping save my life xo
Thank you for outlining this and putting the time marks. I really appreciate it because this was really helpful to me. I’m stuck! Thank you again.
Thank you ! 🙂 Could any English-speaker please explain to me what means "futility" here ? I'm french, and can't really figure out the correct translation for this word in this context. In french, we traduce it as "pointless", or "frivolous".
@@daisyg8384 “pointless” is a good synonym for “futility”.
what this means is that what one does does not work, no matter how much they’ve tried the outcome of something hasn’t changed. No matter what they do or don’t do say or don’t say, it’s futile/pointless. It does NOT bring a change and the person is powerless to change it.
That powerlessness becomes depression.
What she’s illustrating in this video, is to find WHAT it is we’re so desperately trying to change to no avail. What we really dig our heels in the ground about and refuse to accept that it doesn’t change and our efforts produce no result. Once we identify and accept that, we seek alternative methods in which we DO have power over our own lives and take action in that direction thus empowering ourselves.
Depression is the opposite of self empowerment basically. At least from my experience.
A good book to read that touches upon this is: Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.
Edited for grammar and spelling
@@blue_sky_bright_sun7599 thank you 🥰
I know this one applies heavily to me because I keep having to rewind the video as I'm unconciously tuning out or distracting myself from hearing the message.
This happens to me with her other videos. Best time to come back to this is when you are really bothered by depression. Just when you are most fed up is when I will listen to the solution.
Then watch it again when you are feeling randomly happy :)
I did that too! It took me 4 days to watch the other half of the video!
Same here lol
It's taken me weeks upon weeks to actually take in the entirety of this video for the same reason!
Public schools cater to Audio & visual learners. I am a visual /kinesthetic (hands on) learner. Note taking serves to help me visualize the lecture and helps me to stay on task. I wish they would have taught me that in grade school. 🙄
When the student is ready, the teacher arrives! Thank you Teal Swan
She’s so good. The honesty is like a balm. The technical honesty and the emotional honesty. She really feels this.
I have been through depression, and it feels like teal is directly talking to my pain
I can definitely relate to you since I am a chipmunk who has been going through depression for a very long time.
I`m too lazy to shake hands with depression
Azaleas camellias she has encouraged past “clients” to kill themselves and brainwashes people to think that suicide is an acceptable “escape”
Do yourself and your loved ones a favor and walk away from this page and seek medical help
same here. But still within this process.
She is the new world.
Im so impressed with this, i have spoken to so many therapists over the years and just now, age 60, feel i can actually understand what is going on with me. Fabulous!!! Thank you Teal, you are amazing
See this.The enlightened one explains this in this wonderful way ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
I'm 51
I’m 67 and I have three therapists currently. Nothing is working. I wish they knew what she knows.
I am sitting here alone, watching this, clapping and laughing along with you because it is resinates so intensely with me. 40 years of therapy, coping mechanisms, countless self help books, meditation, even religion and I have never heard any of this explained this way. And it’s life changing. Wow! Thank you is completely inadequate, but thank you!
Bingo, "Depression is actually a relationship dysfunction." 15:55 💡🌟👏🏻
this and also lack of taking action in the right direction
I've always said/felt that.
@@NatalieNicole2222 To work on developing a positive relationship / connection with self and others. At times we need to move away, set boundaries or learn to deal with others, e.g. emotional vampires, narcissists, etc.
exactly what it is.
Thank you Teal.❤
I love how there's no "morality" in the way she speaks of things. A lot of the times, with other teachers and intellectuals that I follow, I get to love their work and in-depth analyses of things, but there's always a hanging sense of judgement towards some human behaviors. Like an underlying way of perceiving some behaviors as more noble than others. I love how objective and felt Teal's words always are. No judgement ever, just an open understanding. And truly, from the bottom of my heart, that makes all the difference - so thank you.
Wow, this allowed me to see my depression strictly objectively for the first time and i feel such a sense of relief! I feel like I finally get it. Thank you Teal! I feel more empowered and hopeful. God bless
Damn I didn’t even know i was depressed lol. This video made me realize that i’ve just been trying to change my childhood and family for so long. Literally the definition of futile! This video made my anxiety go away and now i can just look somewhere else and to other people! I got so hung up on trying to make my family and other people feel better and it was just never working. Time to stop doing that!! :)
I cannot stop crying. I am at the gate and am almost out of hope. Accepting the futility is so scary. I need to stop resisting futility and accept it. It is so gut wrenching.
So well said..! I feel the same way.. I just don't have strength to go on. Everyday is suffering from depression...
Finally! Everything said was so true. The only thing worse than nobody trying to make your life better is when they gaslight you when you try and point it out.
It's even worse if they successfully gaslight you.
@@Rapunzel464 I literally walked away. But my mom is guilting me into making amends.
WORD!!!! my husband def made me crazy, not even joking! Wish I found out about narcissists before I wasted all that energy being baffled and flabbergasted and pointlessly defending myself!
@@ingenueblue8914 follow your instincts! Only YOU know what's best for YOU!!!
@@Rapunzel464 it’s comments like this that people suffering from depression find insensitive. “Just walk away…why would anyone stay with someone……” these comments demonstrate your lack of empathy for someone who is perhaps trying to have a meaningful relationship with a parent, for example. It’s not an easy thing to just walk away. Don’t be so flippant about it. And then there’s the whole love yourself first and the rest will follow. This statement comes from the mouths of people who don’t have a clue to the depths of despair and trauma in a person who has to build their psyche up by hand by themselves because they have no clue what healthy or normal looks like. It’s like both of us were given land to build a house, and you had carpenters and electricians and a floor plan, but I was given a few boards, a sink, and no clue how to put it together to make a house. Sometimes someone will come by and lend a hand, but many times you are stuck trying to figure it out on your own. And then it doesn’t help any if the nosy neighbor yells across the yard, how’s it going? You’re not done yet? Instead of offering any help. I’m saying all of this because people have misunderstood depression and they have made things worse by their lack of understanding that the fundamental core of a human being has been destroyed and must be rebuilt with extreme care.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The serenity prayer ❤️
Amen
Connect with your own spiritual power to grant yourself the understanding , serenity and peace you seek.. in looking outside of source you may find nothing but silence and disconnection. Grab ahold of and embrace your pain , validate that it is a communication from your soul to your body , forgive those who have hurt you , forgive yourself then ask the universe for healing..🙏
@@tedmalley7636 thank you xx love ur reply needed this today xx
@@victoriaharper376 thank you ..I am really learning that by allowing my soul to communicate with me via my emotions , that I am much better at processing hurt/ pain and allowing for deeper healing.
@@tedmalley7636 I'm trying xx u sound strong x
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain 🌧
Cliché quotes won't help on a complicated subject.
@@FreeFlow__its the narrative. Enjoy the moment. The moment will soon pass. Whether good ir bad.
But sometimes… When that moment burns and rips my insides to shreds… It doesn’t feel like it’s gonna pass. Sometimes “dancing in the rain” hurts like a motherfucker. And I just want out.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812Telling a depressed person to enjoy the moment, is the worst advice you can give to him
Just discovered you a few days ago. I'm floored! I'm a young creative 63 female, have done a lot of work on myself over decades, after an abusive childhood. There is something truly outstanding about out you Teal. I've met so many workshop teachers etc in my lifetime...you are a cut above them all.
Your clarity is what struck me immediately, then your quiet authority. Your IQ must also be very high. I could go on! Again, I'm amazed and more than impressed by you. I will be bingeing on your teachings here from now on in. So very glad I've found you! You're a fountain of information and for such a young woman you are so full of wisdom. However did you become so...wow! Just wow!
There’s a documentary about Teal’s childhood that just blew me away. It helped me more than anything I have ever heard or seen because of my abusive childhood and adolescence. I saw it on the Gaia channel, but it may be somewhere else. I think it had the word shadow in it. Sorry I can’t be more specific, but you could probably find it. It was difficult to watch, but fascinating and very inspiring. She’s an amazing person.
@@whitebirchtarot Thanks, she is a rare gem. Imagine having a friend like her in real life. Dream on.
I was searching desperately for a depression video by teal since past 3 days and then this showed up, woww ❤❤
Nice pun :)
Azaleas camellias SAME✌🏾🙌🏾
Azaleas camellias How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
I was struggling with depression for almost 5 years. Every time I would think it’s gone, something would happen to remind me my depression is still there, burried deep. I totally relate to everything Teal’s saying!
I can relate to that.
Looks like you got rid of it and suddenly it bounces back even darker...
Teal I have to say that you truly freed me from the chains of my depression, it gravely drained me, consumed me and made me want to die but I did not want to kill myself so I felt trapped! 😭Thank you for helping me and so many others to escape depression's solid chamber of torture and pain.
"I feel futility about the part of me that continues to behave in this way." Hit the nail on the head.
Feels like she paid me a visit,
and I didn't know.
I've never cried harder at any other video.
"Thank you, Teal"
doesn't even cut it.
I just felt seen, and my heart screamed from the recognition, and created those deep sobs of real crying.
I noticed I'm not the only one who finds the timing of this video
*right on point.
I guess we're really NOT alone.
I hope to meet some of you someday.
As always, I love you, Teal😭💖
Olivia Bell your not alone. I SEE YOU! I see and understand the crippling pain of depression. Your not alone by far, most spiritually inclined ppl deal with depression. Just want you to know , soul families are connecting here. Holding virtual hands with u dear one! ✌🏾💜🌎🌹🌻🦋
💕💕💕💕
💞❤💞
Good luck Olivia
Ok Maya angelou
We appreciate you fam. I write in prose a lot too.
Its more aestheticly appealing.
Been waiting YEARS for this video. Perfect! We all need this as a collective ..
Wait this and the other 60 videos it references to which reference another 100 each
This video is 100% bang on. And Im currently feeling that writing this comment is futile because the YT algoryithm will bury it so deep in the comments that no one will see it. I am facing that reality , accepting it and writing the comment anyways. This is the beginning of a new chapter.
I have read your comment! It wasn‘t futile. Greetings!
@@andreagerdau3569 Appreciate you !
I read your comment and I see you!☺️
Depression is debilitating and scarry. ... Im unable to get back the life I've known... I was devastated ,... Im in so much torture .. with no want for a future
@@klanderkal Hey brother, please know you're not alone. Take it one day at a time and try to find someone to talk to who you can parse through your feelings with. Best wishes.
This makes so much sense to me. When my depression kicked in I had many unsatisfying relationships in my life, both my friends and my family and eventually in school too. For a long time I felt like even though I knew I didn't get what I wanted from my friendships I felt like I had no other choice than to stay friends with them, because I had no-one else to be with. I also had a long friendship where I for a long while waited her to change up until I finally realized she never will. Same goes with my father. Now that I have started to cut off my old friendships and started to seek new ones, I feel so much better. Even if lonely at times because now I don't have to feel pain and grudge every time I think about someone who is supposed to be my "friend".
Also couple days ago I came to a point when I realized that I have had such huge expectations to myself to be in a very specific way. To be this sporty, attractive, collected, ambitious person. Then I thought, what if I would just let all this go and just let myself be, instead of expecting me to be all these specific things.
Accepted futility. Still can't see a way that brings happiness. Oh well... thank God I won't live forever. I am so looking forward to going home and finding out why I took this stupid job of coming to Earth.
you are an eternal being, might as well have fun with it
@topazzsky. Yes!!! I feel exactly the same way. Always wondered why am I here. I must be an overly ambitious spirit thinking this Earth job was for me. I've vowed that when I get back home, that's it for me; I'm not coming back here again. I'm retiring. Stay strong.
Haha. That actually made me laugh. Excellent perspective! That's a great line to start a book. Run with it.
topazzsky How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
Sarah Taylor How would a loving god put anyone through this?
Omg Teals kindness springs from her heart, she has got so much love, it makes me want to cry
I am a chipmunk with depression.
@@au9parsec Please don't run across a busy street and get under a car Little friend.
I know, right?!!!?!!
Facts Oflife you can not make any one kill themselves ..🙄
@@franetica123 Yes finding your own truth is exactly what teal encourages in her videos. She even says "Don't just listen to one spiritual teacher to give you all the answers." Listening to the message of People like her is just one of many ways to "Research for yourself".
Why do you believe she made someone kill herself? She made a Statement about that some time ago.
Amen sister. My childhood certainly felt like a PRISON. And you couldn’t pay me enough to go back in time to have to relive all of it like another lifetime. I’m so happy I can pick and choose the moments to heal from this safe distance ❤. You’re brilliant and I appreciate your strength so much. Thank you again
The bully in my head is screaming at me! I’m “supposed” to be above this!!! I’m “supposed” to be awakened!!! Admitting this is a problem isn’t easy. And the thing about depression for me is I don’t FEEL like fixing it.
Michelle Peacock that makes sense though. I would feel the same way. I have that voice in my head too. It’s so annoying
I have used Teals approaches a couple of years, and it does work! Chronic Depression almost 20 years, now I only have a residue because I see ways out, I feel my power and self- love. I did lots of trauma work before I discovered Teal, she is one of very few who knows what she is talking about. It’s only one thing that I slightly disagree on, and it’s the “go out and do something/change something”. It’s TRUE but in my case I did many things: changed friends, environment, habits and moved away several times, even abroad, but the work is really, truly on the inside. It is VERY important to find ways to feel SAFE and beware that your relationships may not be safe even if you THINK in your mind that they are. Last note I have is the unsaid link to self medication. I hurt myself like this half my life. Stopping smokes, cannabis and alcohol has left an opening in the village door for me (though it did save me in previous times too ok?) ayahuasca helped me stop. Going down and feeling the futility is LIKE “giving up” it’s confusing but we need to meet that part of us. It’s like meeting your despair, I think, like she writes in The completion process.
Siva S. it didn't work for me. I had to work with food and minerals to change my depression and health issues.
@@lunalilaea4002 yes, true. I have changed my diet to gluten free, dairy free pescetarian/vegetarian/vegan, cleanses and parasite cleanses plus take into consideration the other work I've done including help from a trauma expert, aka I wasn't able to start this work on my own. It's impossible to cover everything in a RUclips comment ;)) I love Teal because she validates emotions that are shamed by most therapists that I have met.
Thank you for sharing Siva
Nailed it! Dysfunctional relationships and powerlessness as the root of it all. As usual, high quality Teal 🙏🙏🙏
You did a great job of putting it in a nut shell
Be there for someone with depression, dont try to change their mood by focusing on the positivity. Just give them the experience that however negative thoughts they have, or how negative their feelings are, they are still worthy of company and being loved. You can help them brainstorm the things they can do with their little energy to feel more in control of the situation. Dont get angry at them.
This Teal talkmakes me so heard. No psychiatrist or psychologist has been aadly able to do that.
Thank you, Swan. You really have a gift for making people feel seen, heard and understood. There is a softness and kindness in your videos. I am learning to no longer try to get my needs met by people who will never meet them or to accept abuse. This one really speaks to me. Thank you Teal.
It is exactly me, my childhood was a hell and I’ve been experiencing all stages of depression already, I hope more people aware of these messages and spread them🙏
Yes, you covered a lot. I feel isolation coming on when my environment and people around me does not change. I'm a creator to the core, therefore I need to be amongst new experiences to be creative and develop new ideas.
Exist N Nature Media yesss!
Exist N Nature Media How do I create safe relationships when that is the futile occurrence that is causing my depression? I am supposed to create a safe relationship (which I desire so badly) but then you say it will “never, i mean never” come?
I've watched this before but I watched it again today because I've been depressed lately... and I know what I need to do. Thank you so much Teal for making this incredible, life-changing video. You are such a gift to this world. Love xxx
There are no words for how grateful I am that I can learn from Teal Swan while lying in bed or going for a walk. Her work is literally saving lives. Teal, if you’re reading this, your video where you were sitting on your bed talking about how people aren’t always what they seem triggered a long spell of depression that (once I came out of it) literally added years to my life. It stopped me from going into a toxic relationship and finally made me confront my core shame and relationship issues. My life has done a 180 shift since then and now I’m paddling a canoe instead of floating on a log. I thank and love you. You grok people. Thou Art God!
By far the best description of depression I've come across, thank you
See this.The enlightened one explains this in this wonderful way ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
The trauma I dealt with in my family is a large part of my depression, and I spend a good deal of my life trying to control outside factors in order to get them to see how they were hurting me. I tried everything until it blew up in my face. By the time I left for college, everyone had separated and it's been going down hill since. I graduated last May, and I live at home and I went through the darkest depression of my life. It was a very scary place to be. I have went through a spiritual process of forgiveness, and acceptance. It's a continuous effort, but I have done a good job so far of accepting what I cannot change. What I'm struggling with now is opening myself up to safe and healthy relationships because I'm not confident that I can create safe relationships.
Hope you are well years later. Bless you angel and I am confident that you can, even though I share your same feelings
same here
same here
I never heard someone talk about depression like that. It makes much more sense to me now .
I feel empowered to face my futility in my dysfunctional and failed relationships! THANK YOU TEAL!
Great video Teal! Futility is a really important thing to look at relative to depression. It is often, when people start really looking at the big picture and expanding their mind that they run into an bit of an existential conundrum. In life, we are used using the measuring tools of the mind (like meaning, value, significance, worth, purpose, and 'having a point'). And we use these measuring tools in 99.9% of practical undertakings to inform decisions that we make. But when we start asking "What is the meaning of life?" and "What is the point of all this?", we run into the problem that reality is incompatible with our measuring tools. And instead of realizing that reality is unshakeably valid, we succumb to depression and nihilism because our mind doesn't know how to map value onto something that is its own context. With everything else in reality, we can compare values relatively to find out whether or not something is "worth" something to us and is "significant." But if we look at something that is its own context, such as existence itself, then we can't find any greater context to compare it to to derive the idea of meaning, worth, value, significance, importance, purpose, and having a point. So, if we don't realize the limitations of the human intellect, we will think that reality is futile and invalid. And this is the cause of so much depression. Once a kid starts to question, "What is the significance of fun?" ... this becomes the death of fun. The cult of utility is strong in our culture, so we especially struggle with futility in this way.
English please lol.
Oh my God this hit home! Thank you 🙏
So well said! Thank you for your insights.
Nailed it! People tend to minimize these feelings (try to make you feel better and take you away from your natural connection to yourself). For example hearing things like, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is a minimizing statement. Who doesn't want a permanent solution to an on going problem. Calling 10 years + temporary is over looking the fact that another minute is a lot of energy, effort and more suffering. It's literally living in hell, trapped inside your own body instead of the prison that was childhood, it's now contained within yourself. That's why suicide seems so appealing at times. Yet we can't know if it really is and if it is the best solution to end the pain. I think this is why people in depression opt for instant gratification since it's hard to make long term goals when you find it hard to participate in life.
Lux Meow It’s okay not to have long term ambitions or some huge dream if you don’t think you’re up to it if you choose to. The reason you get up each day might not be because you want to change the world, become a billionaire philanthropist or something like that. The ambition filled life has done a lot of good things - Gandhi liberated India from the British. Nelson Mandela survived years in prison to become the first black president to a country that treated blacks as slaves. Hell, even Bill and Melinda Gates today contribute billions of money to those suffering with a lack of education and those with illnesses. But the truth is that those people would be nothing without the everyday people learning from their ideas, getting things done in simple tasks, and speaking out with all the little details. Sometimes the reason to get up in a day might just be to read a book, meditate or write in a journal. Sometimes it’s to help one person each day to make a thousand small differences 365 days a year. Sometimes it’s just to appreciate your breakfast. It can be to watch your favorite RUclipsr. It can be a hobby like gardening or tinkering around. It could be just simple. Really. Nothing wrong with that at all. It’s not wasting time if you’re just taking a break if you ask me.
everything you said. I agree with and understand. the pain in the body, the tiredness... loss of energy, the determination but no energy for long term goals. I just wanted to say that
I love your clarity of thought. Nicely said. I would also add something that I have experienced, is that people do not say these things to make the sufferer feel better. They say these minimizing and shaming things to make THEMSELVES feel better when in your presence. Because these things only make the sufferer feel worse.
I’ve always been suspicious that I’ve used my depression as a way to postpone or deny suicide.
I've been watching "self-help" videos for about the past 3 years... I can't believe you just spelled it out so simply. I've done a lot of exercises (daily, long-term stuff), but they've only brought me so far. This was amazing. Not only do you get it, but you know what we need to do that helps. This video is a gift - thank you so much for it 💜
You're wonderful! Thank you!!! I've been struggling with depression for almost thirty years, and now I think I finally understand why. When you were talking about how childhood can feel like a prison of helplessness and futility, I felt a strong jolt, like a punch almost, right square in my heart center and caught a glimpse of the very sad, very rightfully angry little girl that's been there this whole time fighting for someone, freaking Anyone, to truly see and accept her. I realize now that what I feel most futile about is being able to reveal my highly sensitive nature without being shamed, ridiculed, or abandoned (emotionally and physically) for it. This pattern has been reinforced over and over and over ad infinitum since childhood, and I've never met anyone who really sees being sensitive as a benefit and not a detriment. Mostly I just feel as though the few people in my life just put up with me, as long as things don't get too deep, if that happens they just leave. Many times I've felt this horrible crushing loneliness right in the center of my chest, and now I know that it was this angry little girl saying 'you know what- Screw these people! They will never understand or love us, but it's okay now. We don't have to stay here anymore in front of this stupid gate! C'mon, we got other places to see.' So, I don't know where I'll/we'll go from here, but anything's better than feeling helpless and defective and utterly alone all the time. Thanks again, Teal 💚🙏💚
See this.The enlightened one explains this in this wonderful way ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
I cannot express how appreciative I am of Teal's existance and the way she is helping humanity... She's a visionary ❤️
Futile: Incapable of producing any useful result; pointless
Thank you
Thank you!
See this. This is better ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
Did you summon me?
Thank you!!!
I wish you told me these thigs 24 years ago. It was the point in my life when I realised that something was really going sideways and I wanted to do something about it. The worst thing about this life long depression was indeed this utter loneliness. I went through everything that you described, including attempting suicide just to get some attention. I know this darkness to the bone. Incredible video.
Hey people, listen to this video carefully. It´s true. Every sentence. I know it because I went the long and exhausting path of depression; I finally hit rock bottom and won. This woman knows what she is talking about, you can see it in her eyes. My reverence. As you help others I have to help others as well. Thanks!!
Well, I just went through a few polarisations of resisting and accepting by watching that and will now have to lie down and process. Which is good! Gratitude, blessings and love for Teal Swan for digital wisdom and handholding - I’m inspired to return and reflect the favour 💙💛💖✨🧘♂️🤝🧘♂️💗💓💞💚🙏
This video spoke to me personally. Thank you, Teal.
@@user-nh2oy5bf6h Goodness! You must be a most gifted "reader of minds."
Can you tell what all the beautiful, sincere and genuinely seeking answers folk think as they read your Stupendous knowledge of... Absolutely bugger all???
hit. the. nail. on. the. head. the first 15minutes I was like "it all makes total sense now. the years and years of self-hatred." thank you for this video, Teal
Teal, thank you for making this video. This is the most accurate description of depression I have ever heard. Very helpful to be able to see this as holding on to a “futility” that is outside of my control. Thank you!!
I wish you were my therapist lol
Iyana Harris facts
Iyana Harris Me too!!
Me too!
What's the lol fot
She's your free YT therapist.
Hello 🖖🏾
First time I’ve been able to comment early in the 3-4 years that I’ve watched your videos! Much love to you from a
depressed Amazon ❤️
I'm tired of people always getting angry at me when I finally speak from the heart and tell me my deepest darkest thoughts.
The most spot on account of depression I’ve ever come across! You have such a deep understanding of mental health. Even in my work as a hypnotherapist, the first thing I always say to clients is they have to want to change how the feel to be able to get rid of their depression, or whatever trauma has started that feeling.
This is probably one of the best videos I have ever watched. Teal absolutely nails it!! Helpful because if you understand why you are feeling depressed that's half the battle to overcome it. Thank you for your amazing work and for caring.
love this, thank you teal. its very hard to explain to people with depression this topic because they dont realise how much they affect their depression, and really dont want to admit it. once i admitted it to myself (2 years ago) i startes to put an end on my years of suffering. love your words of wisdom it always helps to hear and gain others perspectives with similar ideas. big love 🤗 and I 1000% agree with you about anti depressant meds! i took them for 2 years, + other meds to any way desperatly change my feelings for me. it didnt help me one bit but trap me into the idea that I was still depressed so i had to keep taking medication. i felt all the real healing when i quit all medications. when you resist the resistince of the futility you stay trapped in the resistence untill you learn to accept it and make change
So many different golden nuggets of wisdom in this vid.! THANK YOU TEAL!
"if I accepted that what I want is never gonna happen and I mean, NEVER, what would I do then or instead?" ....
I would cry, I would want to not exist, I would tell myself, "never say never", I would care less about my life... I would think, "well what is the point?" I would breathe, oddly this would seem to push me to be more present focused.... Ultimately, surrender.
Best explanation of of the why. It took me 16 years to realize meds were causing more psychological problems and they kept adding more. Now I’m off of them and facing what I’ve been suppressing myself and effects of meds. Thank you for this. It is not easy but your words and channel are helping see what I need to do and a new perception.
Honestly I watched so many of your vids 100times over and because of that I don't even think I'm depressed 😔 anymore
Yep matt khan on youtube did that for me.
to live with depression ads the shame because you have depression...
Thank you Teal 💗
Everyone I look up to on youtube has had depression at one stage in their life
I thought the idea of depression was the fact that you already know that there are many things in your life that are futile and cannot be changed.
See this.The enlightened one explains this in this wonderful way ruclips.net/video/JRKFYgkwWds/видео.html
"hold their hand and dive in" beautiful
How can she be so good at it? Every and each video just amazes me. Thank you Swan, you are the light inside and out of the tunnel
So in tune teal. I had a huge episode a few days ago and your suicidal video helped me so much. Can’t wait to watch this thank you so much for all that you do 💛
I thought you were following your dreams...living in LA and such....
It`s a rough start for everyone in LA, but most successful youtubers are from LA.
Please stay alive!
Don't be vegan if you don't want to...its not for everyone.
kirdot2011 I’m still following my dreams but LA wasn’t for me. Circumstances led me out of there and I’m glad they did because vibrationally it’s not where I’m at. Following your dreams does cause depression because of comparison or feeling like you’re not where you want to be. This is what I have learned. Running off to LA didn’t solve my problems.
Hey teal swan also helped me when I was suicidal.
These channels also helped me so much. 😍😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Much love to you honey 😘😘
Quick fixes
*COMMAND DARKNESS AWAY, it instantly feels lighter, know you are loved and relax into the unseen loving energies of yiur spirit guides and loving collective consicousness of spirits,go into your pain and give it love and healing by validation and presence, listen to chakra healing intense frequencies hz, watch james van praagh meditation , write 50 things your grateful for, listen to music, exercise for maybe happy chemicals and play with animals*
RUclips.com/theabsolute
RUclips.com/kimberlyray
Psychichs Christine Pavlina and Kimberly Ray channel life advice for all our pain and suffering and how to heal
RUclips.com/channelingerik
Elisa and a psychic channel life advice from her son Erik who commited suicide who wants to help others to not commit suicide
@@LaGataSolar yes. running off to any city wont solve your problems as long as you do stuff from negative state of mind.
Its not about adjusting yourself to the rest of the world`s negativity, its about making the rest of them adjust to you. assuming you have positive intensions, that is.
Kinda made me cry. It makes me feel good that other people efforts bear fruit and help others.
"What you resist will persist". Accept what is and that will disentangle the quantum field of emotions that's "tied up" and contracted
Whatever you resist, persists... I hate being stuck in my hometown because the people here love talking about Christianity but hate it when I try tell them I am not Christian. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and I want to leave, but I cannot afford to leave. I need to accept that I cannot leave this town and try to find another way to deal with the people who make me feel uncomfortable.
I’m lost for words. 4 years ago was when I first came upon your channel. You helped me a lot, and then I took a long break from you. And now this video, in perfect timing. Now I know why Im depressed, and how to cure it.
You are amazing. I don’t even know how to thank you. But THANK YOU.
For me the only way to cope with not getting what I really want and with futility/depression is not to care that much. I focus on what I have and try to make the best out of the situation. Like she said, so many windows are already open. If I don't give certain needs up or convince myself that I don't want it that much, I will suffer everyday. Of course I have phases where the anxiety gets so bad that I sink back into the hole of depression, but I gave up fighting it. I just let everything happen. What also helped me is to see that I can chose that. That I can chose to let anxiety happen, even if it lasts for days and that I can let the depression have its place when it's there. I basically "talk" to both of them and respect them as they always transform me and my life more than anything else. I chose to live in the now and be grateful for what I get and where I am instead of always wanting more because I already have so much. The problem of doing that is just that you tend to not care at all at times which can make you to be self-destructive and to be behind in life because you don't get anything done. But I chose to let it happen because I accept feeling powerless. I'm tired of fighting and this life is not worth it to me. That's just how it is. I love my life though and yet, I'm not the person who is crazy about wanting to be here. If I live, I live and I'm grateful for that. But if I die, that's fine, too. And I accept that, too. This point of view I chose gives me peace and releases all anxiety and that's what I need more that anything I thought I needed which caused the depression and anxiety in the first place. What still hurts, is that I hate people because nobody helps me to collaborate the life I want which is what Teal said. That one is really hard, hating people. But I'm working on that through talking to people as much as I can and focus on the good in them.
Hi Isabelle, I totally relate to you when it comes to hating/resenting people for not wanting to cooperate with us due to their close-mindedness, ignorance, fear or resistance. Teal's advice to find cooperative people when in a state of depression is rather a wishful thinking from my own perspective since people are not willing to face that shadow part of themselves when relating to people with depression.
If you want to talk more about that privately, feel free to email me (Grace) at gracey2311at hotmail.com
I feel you. I wouldn’t call it hate, it’s more like I’m sad, like a letdown. It’s so hard to meet authentic people who aren’t trying to use you. I find I’m very distrustful. Sometimes I don’t pick up on a cue that someone would be good for me, sometimes “the smell of unresolved trauma” attracts the wrong kind of person. I don’t know how else to describe it, I don’t like calling it a smell, but no matter how much work you’ve done, no matter how happy you are in the moment, perceptive people will pick up on it somehow. Maybe it’s you’re very compassionate and understanding and empathetic beyond the average person that’s the give away. It really is a thing. Thanks for sharing.
"Why would I scream when there's nobody there to hear me?"... Gonna have that as my epitaph.
Well coudbit hurt 😍resistance woman let go of control !
I feel like your art is targeting my depression...it's so soothing in a way I can't explain. I just loooove you Teal.
I had no idea I was putting so much energy into resistance, this video has changed how I look at my life on such a fundemental level, thank you so much Teal.
I hope a lot of people will see this video. Love you Teal. 💙
"I don't want the world to see me, I just want you to know who I AM." Goo Goo Dolls 4-98
I can't thank you enough Teal! Every single video of yours has changed my life and brought me back to my natural self
Best explanation I’ve heard yet. I’ve suffered from depression on and off for years and only now starting to gain some insight into it. My depression revolves around my art and money - the futility in making art because it won’t keep me alive, and deeper than that a fierce unwillingness to participate in the rat race - the futility of living just to make money, but then what am I left with? Just my art... and the cycle continues. I’m starting to let go of the idea that I need to make money at all. I’m at a place where within a few hours of waking up I can let go, and drop into “what would I be doing if I didn’t need to earn any money”, and then I do it. These days are becoming more frequent, though sometimes it sucks me in really deep and I’m there for a few days...
Thanks Teal. Great video.
Aka biopsychosocial stress disorder. I feel your pain. Art and creativity is where the universe flows through us 💖
I can totally relate to what you said. I'm a writer and director. Making films I care about doesn't pay. Making stupid commercials is where the money is. Everyone I know is obsessed with money and most of them are surrendering to the rat race. I believe that creating art is a way of saving my life, so I will continue on my journey. Good luck on yours!
I'm a dancer and I can TOTALLY relate to you too.
Hang on there......
Thank u all guys for sharing 🙏
Thank you so much for your comment!!! I feel this so deeply. I am an artist and I make jewelry. But I don’t make jewelry that is “trendy”, I make what I like and what I’m passionate about. I must make it myself, by hand. Every piece is original. Every stone is real. I have designed my own signature clasp. I can’t take any shortcuts, it has to be this way. Well it’s not the world we live in and finding the people who love it is a slow process with life in between. I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. I feel so much better knowing I’m not alone in this and there are other artists out there who feel the same way about their work. I love what you said about what would I do if I didn’t have to make money today? Today I took a long walk in the sunshine and I found a book, Getting Business to Come to You by Paul and Sarah Edwards. I can’t make this stuff up! The universe works in mysterious ways. I would love to see your work and encourage you. Call upon me anytime.
@@VladLeshchenko hang in there, don’t give up your art. I would love to see your films.
*googles what futility means *
I see your comment... me to myself: “nah, I am going to fine”, 10 minutes into the video.... googles “futility”....haha....
totally futile activity... :)
For me It means hopelessness
Powerlessness
Marie Hurley
Pointless you little ass 12 year old, go live a little
Best about depression I ever heard.
wisper welle i agree.
depression is a message meant to protect us: reality perception: the truth will make you free.
I love you teal. Thank you.
At first I thought the futility is that no matter how many times I try to create a healthy romantic connection with another, I always fail.
But then I looked deeper and I think it’s more that I can’t make people see my value or value me just because I value them.
I can’t get people who are unwilling to meet my needs, meet them by me meeting theirs.
I keep trying to have relationships with people who don’t know how to love appropriately.
I keep choosing avoidant people.
This has helped me to understand depression in a whole new light, and I feel much more sure when working with clients who are feeling depressed. Thank you so.much.
Please post a video about DEPERSONALISATION & DEREALISATION DISORDER 🙏🏻❤️ @tealswan
ye s s s s s
That will be interesting, I would love to watch it
meditation and disidenfication helps with these "distant" states of consciousness
Yes I have experienced depersonalization and derealization
Yes please!!!!! I've been struggling with this for years!
Finally an explanation that makes sense to me and is not sugar coated. Thank you 🙏
Teal you single handedly are shifting the world. Powerful clarity and courage. Thank you for all you are. 🦋
I hope you know how much guidance and help you are giving me at this point in my life. I had so many therapists and psychiatrists that never could help me. In the end they just wanted me to take medication. You exude so much wisdom and enlightenment its literally making me feel less anxious to just watch your videos. I feel so understood because you have the gift to express so many truths with the precisest words. I really want to thank you for all of this.
You really summed up everything. My empowerment is writing songs.
Me too, I'd love to hear them someday. Subscribed to your channel, though I don't speak the language. I like to listen
This is one of your best. So articulate and thoroughly presented, I'm in awe.
Oh my goodness I adore you so much!!! You were the one that helped me love my monthly cycle and with that my terrible menstrual cramps went away. Thank you so much for that, I watched your video on the power of our cycle and completely changed every month for me!! I’m confident this video will change my constant recurring depression too
Accept the things I cannot change, Change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Ty Teal
I took care of my gut health and depression is gone , fasting and hiking
Sanjay Thakur not healthy longterm
@@thankyoujesus2836 what is not healthy long-term ?
Sanjay Thakur fasting isnt healthy longterm. Eat healthy consistently.
What did you do to take care of your gut health?
I'm doing just that it does work amazingly, though everytime I fast depression hits even harder than ever before
"Time space reality of mirroring" ❤ every word said, Thank You Teal!
I can already feel rn .. having this knowledge and taking action in the direction of acceptance and excersizing the control I do have is gonna be transformational for me. I could never thank you enough, Teal. You have taught me so much throughout all of your brilliant videos. I've been depressed since 12 yrs old and I never believed that it was an inherent part of who I am. This information "resonates"😉 with me in a painful and powerful way and I am so grateful for that.
I really admire you Teal. The way she has soooo much courage to address a topic where even she is feeling so vulnerable still doing it for others. The way you healed yourself from pain gives ray of hope to everyone. I Love you Teal ❤️
I agree 👍. I wish I had strength and knowledge she has...
I'm weak, afraid.. and feel so horrible,.. mentally paralyzed.
It was interesting to hear her say depression is a way of avoiding suicide. I feel like I've failed my potential and see suicide as a way to escape all my frustrations. I'm not actually depressed though.
Epic! Thank you Teal for confirmation. This is exactly what I have been working on, accepting the futility of the situation and looking for other ways to meet my needs and desires. Completion process is great, by the way. I might do it on this one as you suggest
I am blown away by your insight. I wanted to end everything recently but only after watching this video twice I saw the cause of my depression that has lasted almost my whole lifetime. The empathy that you displayed and clear reasoning made me feel a type of hope I probably never felt. Thank you
Trying to make a situation that is futile not futile. Seriously, this is pure genius,