Damn this one hit me hard, I have a similar situation. Similar background to me except I'm white. I've socked away my nickles and dimes, invested, and have 6 figures saved up and rarely splurge on anything because I have a deep visceral fear of going back to living like an animal not knowing where my next paycheck would come from or that I won't make rent, and that the rug could be pulled out from under me at any moment. I don't think I'll ever be able to rest or calm down until I have a couple million dollars in today's value under my belt, which will probably never happen.
Ferris Bueler said "Life moves pretty fast and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it" wise words I live by. Make a bucket list of 20 things you want to do and start knocking them off. Sure, live below your means but also enjoy life and not just exist waiting to die man
I grew up poor, finally have a stable job and my own apartment, saving up, and hopefully will start my own business soon. After years of living on the street or couch surfing, I get it. One thing that really helped me is knowing that all the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years and the work experience, will never be gone I will always have that even if I'm fired I know I could get another job easy with the knowledge and work ethic I have. And remember work stability is a joke it doesn't exist they could fire you tomorrow for anything. A job could be taken away, the knowledge you have no one can take that.
You'll never make up for a lost childhood. You'll never "find" yourself, you have to build yourself and transcend. I'm starting neurofeedback therapy, we'll see how that goes.
I’m White and grew up poor and I can relate. I make 70k now and have no debt. I still feel like I have PTSD sometimes. I think someone might start trouble when I go out somewhere and when someone makes me mad I lose it. I have to watch myself at work because I will lose my temper. It’s from all the negativity I was around. I get anxiety and make a bigger deal about thing than I need to. It’s way better now, but still there.
Today is my first day without coffee because I think it was adding to some anxiety that should otherwise be motivational stress. I'm going to take a few days off work to make a plan to mitigate the things that worry me.
Thanks for sharing. It's really hard to overstate what I would like to do to those among us that demand reparations and accuse us of having "white privilege". One cannot go more than a few minutes in the US without running into a POC that is a doctor or professor or another respected profession, while many of us whites grew up sweating whether or not the crappy used car will start so that the breadwinner can keep providing for the family.
George Ross in chat: YES! A hard lesson I had to learn was "Never do your job TOO well." Not only will you NOT be rewarded or promoted (because they don't want to lose the great work results *where you are*, no matter what it's doing to you over time), but when you get the job done faster than expected (because you run at 110%), they won't give you a chance to rest and recover...they'll just dump MORE crap on you!
Well that could be a good long term strategy to climb and knock out other people from their positions.Every man for themselves right?yes and no, or at least to an extent and of course depending on the circumstances
Cappy you nailed this one! Especially with the symptoms of high energy, and eating fast that is totally a thing. Exactly the way it is.. it's like the central nervous system is engaged in fight or flight permanently stuck there. Sad there is not much way to undue this, and yes PTSD is exactly what it is. And yep, not able to trust any person, institution, or anything really. Another symptom you can see on these people, are they tend to hold their eyes very wide open. This is a reaction to dangerous environment, you're trying to keep eyes wide open to spot that threat as quickly as possible.
I am the same way. Working all the time, saving money, eating at the counter I made my food at. It never goes away. I know an old timer that has millions and he is still the same. Clarey is spot on here.
I can relate. Personally, I have several million dollars socked away. Zero debt. A stable, $300,000+ job that I absolutely love and am treated extremely well. A lovely family and a wife of 26 years. On paper, everything is perfect. But I am always feeling the wolf is at the door. With all the craziness in the world my mind is always on the lookout for the next threat.
This is the most outrageous reality being experienced I have ever seen specifically described! Like whoa I know about the poor and the one percent but I never seen or known about the individuals in between. I know they exist but now you have pointed yourself out in my perspective ! It seems that you started from scratch and settled your survival in the smartest way possible first, by making the most out of your finiteness. PLEASE, it would definitely be of tremendous value and help to me and any others if you can give me something like a website or blog where I can read up and analyze and evaluate your life’s decisions.Thank you! Please let me know where I can verify
I am few years older the Aaron, but have a similar background as he and his client. I worked my whole life and today I make over 6 digits, have a company car, etc.. The GI bill paid for college and working security at night paid the rent, so the only debt I have ever had is the mortgage. People, especially the wife, wonder why I don't splurge more and I have to remind them of the childhood endured in the1970-80s (it sucked). Despite success later in life, there is always the feeling of impending doom to the point you start hiding cash and assets. That fear of going hungry again keeps you on edge for years.
Clarey's best video, hands down. You can hear where he drops the usual shtick and becomes completely genuine. I make more than my parents did combined at my age even with the hell inflation and stagnant wages have wrought but still feel like I can never relax. It's just another thing to work through.
Negative visualization as taught by the stoics really helped me with this issue. I imagine and write out all the negatives that I think could happen, then I write out all the solutions. Once I do that I feel a lot calmer.
I am a VERY fast eater! That's a good point, Cappy. 5:37 and following: "No Trust" pretty much characterizes my mindset. Childhood marked by the looming threat of the miserable parents' divorce +/- the threat of the car not starting leading to job loss for the one breadwinner, the ex lying for 7 years about our long-term compatibility, and my own body killing me via cardiac arrest (genetic cardiomyopathy) while working hard for the future on the cardio machines at the gym.
I'm another one. Thank you for posting this. It helps hearing someone else has the same issues. It's a daily fight shutting out the trash messaging that I'm not needed and that I'm worthless. If that crap was wrong, then maybe the fear of losing everything I've built so far in life is also a just a big lie. It's hard to believe I don't need to keep running as hard as I possibly can, but reading what you other guys have done, I don't think there's any way anything could ever catch up with you. You're too prepared, too alert, and it means too much to you to fumble it. So if I can believe that about you guys in the comments, maybe I can believe it about my own life. Can't buy it just yet, but maybe if I keep chewing on it for the next few weeks. Thanks everybody for chiming in.
Yes, eat fast. Eat standing up or at my desk. Constant panic. PTSD yeah. Decades of strife from a-hole employers, spouse's horrific neurodegenerative disease over 16 yrs. Big expense is medical after domestic bills including house.
fuck, this hits right in the feels. this is my exact state. I built myself a life IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, and despite the corona shit I'm doing fairly well, and yet I'm still stressed out about the future to the level I overwork myself to burnout.
I'm on the verge on being debt free and i'm already afraid i'm doomed to develop PPSD(post poverty stress disorder) i'm already suffering from PRST(post relationship stress disorder). I don't know what to do with myself if one day I don't have to worry about money,employment,and bad relationships.
This hit home very hard. My mother was a welfare queen and thankfully my dad raised me beyond age 10. We weren’t super poor, but we didn’t have much. Now that I’m making six figures (so does my spouse) I am very conservative and constantly trying not to fuck things up and be poor again.
Every part of this video I can identify with. Thoughts can be compartmentalised and rationalised making us our own therapists. Ive thought of moving to a safe place to move way from the Red Progressives but fuck them. Ill make a stand and just enjoy life until then. Great video Aaron.
This person should give themselves a timeframe say two years and then continue this hard-core save save save work work work improve etc and then revisit the question with a fat stack. This should enable him to put a lot of the negs out of his mind
Complex PTSD. Like PTSD, but started in a pre-verbal, pre-memory time in your life. And not from just one source, but many sources. "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" - by Pete Walker. Most recommended book. Even more than cappy's books. (more because like attracts like) Search CPTSD on ThemTube. I recommend Spartan Life Coach, but there are many, and if you find yourself resonating, GET THE BOOK.
Let me warn anyone who will listen. I have been poor, then rich, then poor again, and now climbing back up. Its called life and it will happen to most people.
I had no childhood also,,,,,got out of poverty by hard work,,close to 62 retirement, here's my way,,,,one day at a time,,,,great gratitude,,,,love simple things,,keep Bible open,,keep negheads far away,,enjoy fruits of my labor,,,,,don't follow the crowd,,,,exercise,,hobbies,,,,, put jesus in your life. Look for God all day long,..peace in jesus,!!!!!!
I came just to write you this comment. You don't need to put time in a business. You can invest your savings. Once you have enough investment, you are financially self-sufficient and do not have to work anymore. Starting a business is the highest risk investment. Your brain is having trouble with the concept of the future and there being savings and investment income still waiting for you even if you don't work. Work is not a prison, you can quit anyday, so stop thinking like it is. Employment is a business and its paying 90k so it's a pretty good business. Do some math on rate of return, and what you can get by on and it's awesome how quickly you can gain security.
This problem has a spiritual layer to it. You can do psychoanalysis all day, but you're only patching up the armor. Jesus is the only way to truly heal and find peace. Otherwise, you will stay stuck in this trap as a baseline mindset
Closed caption asks for thoughts: My position is likely destiny not my choice; Decades of being told I am an alky when I am not; Capable of discussing business facts correctly with an MBA sorta at their level I have had good results there; Many ideas here but will defer to questions if any; I am self-directed and should not be in the position that I am will all the brain's and effort that I put into work; I am blaming dumb-down a'la Vos et al
Well don Bruv. Being your own boss ,, and develop multiple income streams,,,learn how to legally avoid tax legally mind you , get a home that you can own a modest home you can own outright asap IE pay off the debt,,,. Think about land that you could live on etc be creative 😎😎 good luck B
Aaron what was your reaction to Athams superchat when you googled the word?😹If that was me receiving that, which Is likely I would have, it would’ve hit deep and left me in my own world for a couple days (if possible for me to do so😹🤣😭)If you don’t mind me asking as well
![Kodak Black - Catch Fire [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A4ch-olIuZo/mqdefault.jpg)
Damn this one hit me hard, I have a similar situation. Similar background to me except I'm white. I've socked away my nickles and dimes, invested, and have 6 figures saved up and rarely splurge on anything because I have a deep visceral fear of going back to living like an animal not knowing where my next paycheck would come from or that I won't make rent, and that the rug could be pulled out from under me at any moment. I don't think I'll ever be able to rest or calm down until I have a couple million dollars in today's value under my belt, which will probably never happen.
Ferris Bueler said "Life moves pretty fast and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it" wise words I live by.
Make a bucket list of 20 things you want to do and start knocking them off.
Sure, live below your means but also enjoy life and not just exist waiting to die man
Self belief will ensure you don't make that million. Don't set limitations on yourself. It is possible.
Childhood emotional PTSD is a real thing and damn horrible...
CPTSD is real. It took me a long time to realize how I took that into all types of relationships. Still working on it to this day.
I grew up poor, finally have a stable job and my own apartment, saving up, and hopefully will start my own business soon. After years of living on the street or couch surfing, I get it. One thing that really helped me is knowing that all the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years and the work experience, will never be gone I will always have that even if I'm fired I know I could get another job easy with the knowledge and work ethic I have. And remember work stability is a joke it doesn't exist they could fire you tomorrow for anything. A job could be taken away, the knowledge you have no one can take that.
You'll never make up for a lost childhood. You'll never "find" yourself, you have to build yourself and transcend. I'm starting neurofeedback therapy, we'll see how that goes.
Best of wishes to you!
I’m White and grew up poor and I can relate. I make 70k now and have no debt. I still feel like I have PTSD sometimes. I think someone might start trouble when I go out somewhere and when someone makes me mad I lose it. I have to watch myself at work because I will lose my temper. It’s from all the negativity I was around. I get anxiety and make a bigger deal about thing than I need to. It’s way better now, but still there.
It’s almost like you’re in my head and speaking for me, because everything you wrote is EXACTLY the same for me
@kshiftkometh good advice
Today is my first day without coffee because I think it was adding to some anxiety that should otherwise be motivational stress. I'm going to take a few days off work to make a plan to mitigate the things that worry me.
billybassman21 seems like struggle makes the drive.
Thanks for sharing. It's really hard to overstate what I would like to do to those among us that demand reparations and accuse us of having "white privilege". One cannot go more than a few minutes in the US without running into a POC that is a doctor or professor or another respected profession, while many of us whites grew up sweating whether or not the crappy used car will start so that the breadwinner can keep providing for the family.
George Ross in chat: YES!
A hard lesson I had to learn was "Never do your job TOO well."
Not only will you NOT be rewarded or promoted (because they don't want to lose the great work results *where you are*, no matter what it's doing to you over time), but when you get the job done faster than expected (because you run at 110%), they won't give you a chance to rest and recover...they'll just dump MORE crap on you!
That idea reverses if you bill hourly.
😎
I understand that lesson all too well.
Well that could be a good long term strategy to climb and knock out other people from their positions.Every man for themselves right?yes and no, or at least to an extent and of course depending on the circumstances
The day you can just live off stock dividends or your business is the day you can put your mind to rest.
"And you also have a few hundred grand in the bank"
Forgot that part dude
If only! It just doesnt turn off, even with stability and safety, comfort, it just doesnt go away. The damage has been done.
Cappy you nailed this one! Especially with the symptoms of high energy, and eating fast that is totally a thing. Exactly the way it is.. it's like the central nervous system is engaged in fight or flight permanently stuck there. Sad there is not much way to undue this, and yes PTSD is exactly what it is. And yep, not able to trust any person, institution, or anything really. Another symptom you can see on these people, are they tend to hold their eyes very wide open. This is a reaction to dangerous environment, you're trying to keep eyes wide open to spot that threat as quickly as possible.
I am the same way. Working all the time, saving money, eating at the counter I made my food at. It never goes away. I know an old timer that has millions and he is still the same. Clarey is spot on here.
Aaron you will never know how much this video spoke into my life. All I can say is WOW and thank you.
I can relate. Personally, I have several million dollars socked away. Zero debt. A stable, $300,000+ job that I absolutely love and am treated extremely well. A lovely family and a wife of 26 years. On paper, everything is perfect. But I am always feeling the wolf is at the door. With all the craziness in the world my mind is always on the lookout for the next threat.
This is the most outrageous reality being experienced I have ever seen specifically described!
Like whoa I know about the poor and the one percent but I never seen or known about the individuals in between.
I know they exist but now you have pointed yourself out in my perspective !
It seems that you started from scratch and settled your survival in the smartest way possible first, by making the most out of your finiteness.
PLEASE, it would definitely be of tremendous value and help to me and any others if you can give me something like a website or blog where I can read up and analyze and evaluate your life’s decisions.Thank you!
Please let me know where I can verify
dude what in the world do you do for 300k+ a year?
@@SuperPenguin5495 Investment management. It’s a challenging….but very lucrative career.
Use the fear as motivation.
@kshiftkometh yup. Stop jumpimg through hoops for a couple of weeks.
But make sure you can go back or have something new lined up after vacation.
Thanks for making, I needed this.
myself also, big time
This one hits very close to home. Man, I always thought i was the only one. And yes i do eat fast, lol. I think there is a pattern here.
I am few years older the Aaron, but have a similar background as he and his client. I worked my whole life and today I make over 6 digits, have a company car, etc.. The GI bill paid for college and working security at night paid the rent, so the only debt I have ever had is the mortgage. People, especially the wife, wonder why I don't splurge more and I have to remind them of the childhood endured in the1970-80s (it sucked). Despite success later in life, there is always the feeling of impending doom to the point you start hiding cash and assets. That fear of going hungry again keeps you on edge for years.
Clarey's best video, hands down. You can hear where he drops the usual shtick and becomes completely genuine. I make more than my parents did combined at my age even with the hell inflation and stagnant wages have wrought but still feel like I can never relax. It's just another thing to work through.
Well said, he was more authentic and less schtick.
Negative visualization as taught by the stoics really helped me with this issue. I imagine and write out all the negatives that I think could happen, then I write out all the solutions. Once I do that I feel a lot calmer.
Man I appreciate this video more than you know.
I am a VERY fast eater! That's a good point, Cappy. 5:37 and following: "No Trust" pretty much characterizes my mindset. Childhood marked by the looming threat of the miserable parents' divorce +/- the threat of the car not starting leading to job loss for the one breadwinner, the ex lying for 7 years about our long-term compatibility, and my own body killing me via cardiac arrest (genetic cardiomyopathy) while working hard for the future on the cardio machines at the gym.
I'm another one. Thank you for posting this. It helps hearing someone else has the same issues. It's a daily fight shutting out the trash messaging that I'm not needed and that I'm worthless. If that crap was wrong, then maybe the fear of losing everything I've built so far in life is also a just a big lie. It's hard to believe I don't need to keep running as hard as I possibly can, but reading what you other guys have done, I don't think there's any way anything could ever catch up with you. You're too prepared, too alert, and it means too much to you to fumble it. So if I can believe that about you guys in the comments, maybe I can believe it about my own life. Can't buy it just yet, but maybe if I keep chewing on it for the next few weeks. Thanks everybody for chiming in.
Yes, eat fast. Eat standing up or at my desk. Constant panic. PTSD yeah.
Decades of strife from a-hole employers, spouse's horrific neurodegenerative disease over 16 yrs.
Big expense is medical after domestic bills including house.
fuck, this hits right in the feels. this is my exact state. I built myself a life IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, and despite the corona shit I'm doing fairly well, and yet I'm still stressed out about the future to the level I overwork myself to burnout.
I can relate, been through a lot myself, out of poverty and debt. and yet still not feeling like I am where I should be, I am working on it though!
Wow you just cleared up my life and past
I'm on the verge on being debt free and i'm already afraid i'm doomed to develop PPSD(post poverty stress disorder) i'm already suffering from PRST(post relationship stress disorder).
I don't know what to do with myself if one day I don't have to worry about money,employment,and bad relationships.
I relate so much to this! Learning to code and planning to apply for Developer jobs soon.
This hit home very hard. My mother was a welfare queen and thankfully my dad raised me beyond age 10. We weren’t super poor, but we didn’t have much.
Now that I’m making six figures (so does my spouse) I am very conservative and constantly trying not to fuck things up and be poor again.
You can relax when passive income is 2X your expenses. That is F___ you money
Every part of this video I can identify with. Thoughts can be compartmentalised and rationalised making us our own therapists. Ive thought of moving to a safe place to move way from the Red Progressives but fuck them. Ill make a stand and just enjoy life until then. Great video Aaron.
You are absolutely right, African American is too many syllables and I prefer to be just "Black" also.
Lol 🤣
This person should give themselves a timeframe say two years and then continue this hard-core save save save work work work improve etc and then revisit the question with a fat stack.
This should enable him to put a lot of the negs out of his mind
My grandparents were born poor as rats and they kept an income-to-spending ratio above 5:1 for most of their lives.
Complex PTSD.
Like PTSD, but started in a pre-verbal, pre-memory time in your life. And not from just one source, but many sources.
"Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" - by Pete Walker. Most recommended book. Even more than cappy's books. (more because like attracts like)
Search CPTSD on ThemTube. I recommend Spartan Life Coach, but there are many, and if you find yourself resonating, GET THE BOOK.
This one is depressing..
Meditation to calm to mind would help. Vipassana medition is an option, sam harris's guided meditation is very good.
Let me warn anyone who will listen. I have been poor, then rich, then poor again, and now climbing back up. Its called life and it will happen to most people.
I had no childhood also,,,,,got out of poverty by hard work,,close to 62 retirement, here's my way,,,,one day at a time,,,,great gratitude,,,,love simple things,,keep Bible open,,keep negheads far away,,enjoy fruits of my labor,,,,,don't follow the crowd,,,,exercise,,hobbies,,,,, put jesus in your life. Look for God all day long,..peace in jesus,!!!!!!
procrastination does have its uses
read the book thinking fast and slow in order to cure this panic
I came just to write you this comment. You don't need to put time in a business. You can invest your savings. Once you have enough investment, you are financially self-sufficient and do not have to work anymore. Starting a business is the highest risk investment.
Your brain is having trouble with the concept of the future and there being savings and investment income still waiting for you even if you don't work. Work is not a prison, you can quit anyday, so stop thinking like it is. Employment is a business and its paying 90k so it's a pretty good business.
Do some math on rate of return, and what you can get by on and it's awesome how quickly you can gain security.
You also eat fast because you don't know if there will be a next meal later.
I had the right connections to enable me to be lucky.
This problem has a spiritual layer to it. You can do psychoanalysis all day, but you're only patching up the armor. Jesus is the only way to truly heal and find peace. Otherwise, you will stay stuck in this trap as a baseline mindset
Closed caption asks for thoughts: My position is likely destiny not my choice; Decades of being told I am an alky when I am not; Capable of discussing business facts correctly with an MBA sorta at their level I have had good results there; Many ideas here but will defer to questions if any; I am self-directed and should not be in the position that I am will all the brain's and effort that I put into work; I am blaming dumb-down a'la Vos et al
I just become a workaholic.
Well don Bruv. Being your own boss ,, and develop multiple income streams,,,learn how to legally avoid tax legally mind you , get a home that you can own a modest home you can own outright asap IE pay off the debt,,,. Think about land that you could live on etc be creative 😎😎 good luck B
Aaron what was your reaction to Athams superchat when you googled the word?😹If that was me receiving that, which Is likely I would have, it would’ve hit deep and left me in my own world for a couple days (if possible for me to do so😹🤣😭)If you don’t mind me asking as well