genuinely the worst part of a lot of my days. it's just like the moment that I feel conscious, I feel this shock of anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach and I have to just talk myself out of it to even want to open my eyes. The morning time right after I wake up is the time of day that I cancel the most things, and I usually regret it by the time it's the afternoon and I feel better.
I love this. I am ashamed to admit I gave up on “success” a long time ago. I know it’s not good because now I waste my days away on my phone in bed instead of living. I take medications for my adhd and anxiety which help me but only to a degree. I grew up with neurotypical parents who tried their best to understand but still (I am 34 and collect disability for depression among other things) ask me “how’s the job search going?” Since I’m on disability and it’s invisible people expect me to performing like neurotypicals. It’s so much pressure. I let go of it. I realized the other day even if I did become a doctor or whatever.. my parents would still be picking at me about stuff. So just be you and do you. A lot of us neurodivergent people need to erase all the years of ableism out of our lives and live in our truth. Our truth looks much different to NTs but it’s better than living a lie everyday just to make them happy. Release yourself of all that Irene! You deserve to know Peace. ❤
Very recognisable. In highschool I was top of the class effortlessly. So the expectations were very high. When I went to university for a masters and dropped out. I could not memmorise anything. Even if my life depended on it. Stress freezes me out and information cannot enter my brain or does not stick. Combined with fitting into a new social environment. A dorm. I just crashed. I also found out I cannot drive a car. A driving instructor paying attention to my every move freezes me among other problems. I had several driving instructors. Including ones who had training in dealing with nervous students. I now volunteer as a farmhand for livestock 15-20 hours a week. I am autistic officially diagnosed and I suspect also A.D.D. I flew under the radar because of masking and the diagnosis was a suprise to a lot of people. I always knew I was different and always played the part.
@@thijsjong Yeah it might be ADHD related but also when you're ridiculously stressed out or depressed your memory is shot. That's what happened to me at the end of my bachelor's. Thankfully at the end I didn't have many classes I needed to finish. I would suggest trying for a diagnosis or going in and asking for anxiety medications since it's literally interfering with your ability to live a "normal" life.
@effy I have my own condo and two cats. I worked for 15+ years. I had to go to part time and now I’m not working at all. I collect disability. I still work though just volunteer jobs. No idea what your comment meant to imply…
I’m 60. Female. And I know this. Had it my whole life with no idea why. As a high achiever I just pushed myself through everything at a high cost. Frustrated & shamed by knowing I was intelligent & highly capable, but made everything harder by not being more focused & disciplined. Diagnosed with ADHD in my 50’s, I’m part of the “lost generation” of women - no one thought girls could have it or what it looked like. You are not alone. The paralysis and dread are real. We have a long way to go, but at least we have validation now.
About your age and might actually be getting tested soon for ADHD. As I get older, it feels harder to focus and get things done. I talked to my Dr today and going to start reaching out for help.
58 and considering getting tested. All my life I've thought I was broken because I struggle so much with motivation and organization. My peers always seem more together, further along. They just DO things.
In place of the word “discipline”, I’ve found that another useful word is rigor. So instead of trying to go through my life pushing discipline upon myself, instead I just try to apply rigor to what I do. That accomplishes the same things in most cases, but it shifts the focus onto the output of my efforts rather than trying to whip myself into some kind of mold that I don’t necessarily fit into at that time. But I can apply rigor to my work and my productivity without needing to fit into any particular mold.
I really like this distinction! Words matter and this makes a lot of sense to me - I also like to focus more on what I’m doing/the process of output vs proving I can stick to some set of standards.
It has been a little more than 2 month that I found out I'm autistic (and also ADHD apparently), I didn't know it was a common trait to awake in fight or flight mode, the brain amp up on adrenaline by simple virtue of coming back to consciousness. So what I mean is I'm glad to having found this channel, for your advices and relatable content, thankful that you share with us your experience in a palatable way.
@@graciev2973 Sorry, sadly I can't help you or give an answer with absolute certainty, I'm not neurologist or endocrinologist (our "little misery" don't seem really interesting for researchers when isn't about a "cure" for autism), from the fact there are often overlapping traits it could be either case. But from what I gathered on the net (so has to be taken with a pinch of salt or two), it is more about a unbalance or a resistance to the "feel-good" hormones receptors (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endomophin) into the brain making us (I suppose) hypersensitive to other hormones like cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine, then prone to dysregulation at least that my theory but I could also talking out of my ass.
@@graciev2973 Short answer, IDK. Now the long answer, my personal theory is from what is mostly circumstantial evidence at best and the few info floating around the net (aka mere opinion), there are a lot of overlapping between both, could be either one and could be both. How it happens, could be inherent neurochemistry unbalance or a resistance to * "feel-good" hormones in our neurodivergent brains receptors, making us hypersensitive to **stress hormones. But I'm neither neurologist or endocrinologist and had no medical training beyond CPR, therefore I very much have no clue to what I'm talking about. *Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Endorphins, Endomophin. **Cortisol, Epinephrine, Norepinephrine.
Mornings are so difficult for me as well. I was relieved after my ADHD diagnosis bc now I know why my internal clock and body can’t adjust to the routine/ schedule of a “productive member of society” 🥺 I was noticing people all around me who get up and workout by 6am and are super productive by 9am and then work all day. I don’t know how people do this and not burnout but we are all unique and different. I’m accepting that this isn’t for me and that’s ok! I no longer believe in “lazy” or feel ashamed for sleeping in or feel like I have to be productive every morning. I allow myself a few mornings a week where I do nothing besides eat and move my body and get coffee. Still, other mornings I find myself not eating at all until noon or 2pm on days I do have to go to work or an appt. Though I know as a hyperactive person I need a lot of protein for breakfast, I still forget or decide that I don’t have time. It’s still such a struggle so I appreciate your content and know I’m not alone ❤
I have intruding thoughts about how ugly I am. How untalented I am. How I know that people I meet will. not like me. I dread waking up, as well. I take a step back and realize that my friends, even people I meet, and my physicians tell me "cut the crap thoughts. You are a brilliant and beautiful person. You deserve the Best." - it took me hard wills, hard concentration on my life's prizes. I couldn't take their compliments at first. Now I can and I realize it's just the adhd and autism speaking nonsense to me. Ive been so used to being negative and isolated for so long - I thought it was normal to sabatage myself. You can do it. If you focus on the truer messages not the false ones conjoured up by your dissorders. Thanks for this message. You are far from being alone with this.
I often wake up scared and not sure what to do. It's awful because it's harder to recognize what's happening and fix it when I'm also groggy. People say to do a routine when you wake up to counteract this, but the executive disfunction is real. ❤❤ I found this video in the morning and it really helped me. Thank you. When i cant watch a normal video i go with ASMR. I'm specific about which asmr i like, but it's great for an auditory stim that's meant to help you relax.
You beautifully articulated everything I feel most mornings. I’m 45 with a family, career, ADHD, and returned to university to complete my degree. As I look back over my life, I’ve been able to “adult” but feel like I’m going to fall to pieces each day. It’s exhausting and like you said, it’s not just the mind, the body remembers and responds. I love your recommendations of managing content, people, etc., and developing a new relationship with your inter manager. This is a great video. Thank you!
The part about the work schedule though... that is literally where I'm at right now. A full 40 hr a week, I can't do. It's overwhelming and I feel like I burn out fast so I'm trying really hard to make part time work for me but it's really hard when a lot of jobs don't want part time workers or they don't take part time workers seriously. I'm also talking about jobs that pay well and would lead to a career not just a job you do on the side that doesn't go anywhere.
this was actually exactly the kind of content you talked about in the video (grounding, makes you connect with yourself instead of just being a distraction) for me this morning. thank you sooooo so much. I have a test this afternoon and I was paralysed for the whole week not being able to study at all. today I started differently, I took my meds, ate breakfast, cuddled with my cats, took a long shower, did my skincare, did some laundry that was piling up in the floor and I'm now gonna study for my test. and it's okay if it doesn't end up perfect, it's okay if tomorrow I have a bad day. what matters is right now. thank you for your content. it means a lot to me
I could write an essay about how helpful and comforting it is that I have found your channel. Thank you so much for making these videos and making me feel less alone.
10:52 I felt this so fucking hard. Everyday and every night I watch episodes from the show Bobs Burgers because it’s like uplifting and light for me. I watch them over and over again and I didn’t realize I was using it as a stim because I thought it was just a comfort show for me but I’m realizing I don’t even really engage in watching the show I just play it in the background
The part about needing uplifting and grounding content is so relatable to me. I've found some luck with those youtube videos of aerial views of different cities and countries with music/calming narration. An ex partner would put them on as I started to stir in the early morning so I woke up to them and I still think of that and feel loved although that relationship is over. I never had someone think about my needs so proactively.
Yup, this is me. I try to be positive, but then I look in the mirror and tell myself "you're an idiot. You don't deserve to be here." I feel like an alien.
You I articulated ADHD & Morning Dread perfectly. I've also lived with this my entire life and recently have realized that when something surprising or financially occurs in my life,. I will wake up daily for a while after with fear, shame, dread sitting squarely upon me. Like you, I don't suffer it at the level that I used to, thankfully. But when it jumps me now, I try to watch my mind and the thoughts that are occurring vs letting them run wild. I also give myself A LOT of room to care for myself, love myself etc. Bottom line, there's so much I love about your message - most importantly, THANK YOU for sitting down, putting on your makeup, loving Mable as you do (oh, btw- I also routinely put sunscreen in my eye) AND taking on this exact topic. It doesn't get discussed much if at all and that can make all that goes with being neurodiverse seem uniquely mine and mine alone, In reality, there's a BUNCH of us who are differently gifted and NOT BROKEN. Thank you so much. xo
I watched this and felt like crying. It's heartbreaking and exhausting to constantly struggle to keep up with everyone when you always feel like you're falling behind.
Thank you for this video it was very helpful and insightful. Low dopamine is horrible, I feel you so much. It's only the Ritalin that tends to get me through those mornings/days. I read a medical journal about the effects of methylphenidate on an ADHD brain which surprised me.. It said that it helps us to focus on all the reasons to do something instead of all the reasons not to. It makes it easier to get up and going without the weight of past failures or self doubt or mental blocks getting in the way, and making it feel like you're wading through sludge with a load of fog in your head. This fascinated me as it truly does feel like that - in a blink of an eye, of it kicking into my system, I feel lighter and happier and grateful and like I wanna make the most of my day vs before where I could only really muster up hiding in bed in a overwhelmed state beating myself up about another (already) unsuccessful day. Previously my understanding was far more literal - I take a tablet which increases my dopamine and that's why I feel better. However that medical journal helped me to see the true deficit of having lower dopamine. It effects every part of us and that when i'm low or cant cope or it feels like i'll never achieve something consistently, it's actually just a sign my dopamine is especially low and that's ok. I can choose to do something naturally that I love/get active to increase this or I can take the medication. It's felt empowering finally understanding why it can be so hard at times. I've found microdosing mushrooms (0.1g) alongside my prescribed dose helps to take the edge off the anxiety and it kinda feels like my brain is getting a hug from the inside out. I can tell it's working in the background to support me mentally (neuroplasticity). Of course everyone is different and i'm not condoning it for others, but it's been such a help for me. The Calm app, or site, is my go to for music or soundscapes that can uplift and ground me. I hope you're having a better day today and know you're not alone in this :)
How you don't have more subscribers blows my mind. You're so honest and so thoughtfully detailed with your explanations. You've helped me tremendously, and I'm sure I'm not the only one
Man I'm glad I found your videos. I can relate so much to you it's ridiculous. I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD and dyslexia last year and it's been a crazy ride ever since then. I've been trying to reinvent myself into someone that better reflects who I am but it's hard to do that when I feel paralyzed every time I need to take action. Thanks for speaking on this!
I am autistic and they think I have adhd, I suspect it too. That combination is hell. The combination of other issues with autism, it's too much. Autism on itself is already too much a lot of the time. I'm burned out so often. I'm so done
I already left a comment on this video a few months ago put I had to comment again because this video has become my go-to piece of media for whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed or just want to ground myself. It helps me acknowledge what I'm feeling while also not letting the feelings overrun me. The way you are so gentle and caring with yourself in that meditation in the beggining of the video truly moves me and inspires me to treat my own self with the respect and loving care I deserve. Thank you so much for this!
I can totally relate, mornings are often difficult for me. I feel like I am under water and it takes a long time to get to the surface. I don't have any ground breaking solutions unfortunately, I've just learned that I need to give myself a lot of time to get going. You are definitely not alone in your struggle 💜
So much love and appreciation for sharing such a vulnerable and beautifully worded description of ADHD. When you described how you might push yourself harder on certain days and finally accomplish something... It still feels like failure. I'm feeling that so much right now. ALSO, and most importantly, you called your cat Miss woman and I want you to know that I call my dog Mr. Mans all the time 😂
Not just me then. I found this genuinely reassuring . Thank you . That feeling of dread you have most mornings ( usually week days) is like the lie that you keep falling for. Once you're up it's OK ( hard but OK) but it's like the next day you reset and it all feels too much again. And the procrastination loop my life is stuck in causes me so much trouble.
I just recently discovered your channel and it's crazy how much we are alike! ☺️🙌 Loving your content and the topics you delve into, and demand avoidance is so real girl I totally feel you!! 😭😂😂
It is so unbelievably validating to hear you say all the things that I think or feel. especially the part about how when you finally accomplish something and you realize that it's something that everybody else can normally do without much effort, instead of it feeling like a small win you still feel like a failure. It creates such a depressing feedback loop in which there are no rewards even when you have to work doubly hard for something as somebody else does, or even triply, quadruply hard to do something basic. part of it is that having autism and ADHD can lead to so many thoughts of self-hatred because you don't feel adequate for anything, You have such a hard time getting things done even though you want them to be done perfectly, You have all these words and you can speak so eloquently when it doesn't really matter but as soon as you need to communicate something important the word start to fall away or mix up. I just wish I could get back to the younger version of myself who would have been much more pleased with the small wins that I make nowadays.
I can't put into words how much your content has helped me. I've recently discovered my autism and ADHD and it has helped so much to see someone going through a similar experience. I hope your day is well and thank you for your videos.
This video is totally talking to me. And discipline is a word I have trouble with because it feels like most of the time I do not have it. Can I get myself to do things? Yes, but at times no. I totally turn to food, videos, and sleep when I am feeling overwhelmed. I am not a spring chicken and still working on this. I really needed to hear this video today. It was an anxious day.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and open. As a highly sensitive person that is neurodivergent it was nice to see I’m not the only one. Thank you for showing the grounding and being kind to yourself moment. I’m going to try this. Thank you again.
This was so empowering for me. I just needed a reminder to go slow and have empathy for myself on days I can't do much and to shut down that voice system that constantly expects me to have it all together. 💞
Hello ❤ I just discovered your channel a few days ago and it is a gem. Thank you for all you do. I understood so much about myself, I always thought I was broken or wrong somehow... I recognize myself in all your videos and I finally feel a sense of hope. My kids are also aspies and I'm gonna watch your clips with them, so that we learn about ourselves.... thank you again so much ❤❤❤❤❤
This ks the exsct feeling I've been having sometimes in the morning. Sometimes, in the evening, I struggle to go to sleep at a reasonable hour because I just don't want that next day to come and the dread tjat comes with it. I really want to break this cycle. I will say that habing less stress in my life after finishing school (or...not the same kind of stress) has somewhat helped. However, I really need to implemznt more changes in my life so that waking up and facing another day doesn't feel like a chore anymore.
I am grateful for this video, this content. I am newly self diagnosed in process to official (F40), sorting out what is me from all the years of sheltering my parents from their trauma while knowing I had needs I didn't know how to communicate and no one trying to translate. I was VERY quiet, but interactive so I guess I didn't raise many alarms...or enough to raise an eyebrow anywhere. I look back and realize how neglected I felt. I'm learning about executive functioning and boundaries and how to figure out which needs are my autistic needs and which needs are my trauma needs. When you talk about waking up with dread I just so needed a method of how to be the one in charge when this happens if that makes sense. Thank you.
I'm sitting here on a "good day" where I got it all done and then some but didn't have that sense of accomplishment... and just want to thank you that as I work into the night I no longer feel alone. There are other people doing this with me. There are others who understand. Thank you for that.
I've been dealing with this for about 5 years now. Everyday I have this terrible dread. I tried different medications, and it doesn't change anything. I push so hard, I push through my chronic conditions, and people never ask why you're 10 minutes late and decide that you don't take anything seriously and delete your file, stuff like this. I'm just fighting an uphill battle everyday. I was a super successful kid, I'm a high-achiever, I put on the mask and go so hard people don't even believe that I'm sick anymore. Often the first meal of my day was at my evening shift at a coffee shop. I take a pill to sleep, and one to be awake. But in 5 years I hadn't had a job to motivate me to get up in the morning. All people say is more rest, more sleep - I slept and slept until I just started sleeping way too much every day. Then I rush through my things like crazy. I can't describe how tired I am, how much efforts I put in at work just to be very poor. I can't pay my bills and my friends had to give me groceries. It's hard. I AM motivated. I AM dreaming. I HAVE hope for the future. Hope for the future is NOT gonna change my brain's chemistry and my everyday struggle. I just wish one, a single, therapist, would understand that vision do NOT change your day-to-day life. And then all the jobs left for you are very hard, very early, long hours... and I gotta eat! How do I break the cycle?!
I love ypue videoes, you are so right about the kack og selfcompassion, most of us with anxiety and depression combined with Add and or ASD, we often think about the thing we dont master as well as other people do, and we should be able too. You are a very good explainer and alsi a good teacher!!❤❤
From the outside I look successful in my job. I manage a team and I do take medication. On the inside I have imposter syndrome, anxiety, overwhelm and this feeling of impending dread every day. With more money and getting to do more interesting things comes much more overwhelm. I stepped down from a job once but I was so incredibly bored. What I really want in life, and always have, is to work for myself. I just have no clue how to get there.
Sometimes i cry because im stressed out sometimes i feel like crying helps my anxiety i wish people can read my thoughts to understand how i feel somerimes i feel sad and i pretend to be happy and nice i wish i didn't pretend its what i see in my heart ❤❤❤❤❤
Please never stop to make this videos ❤️ my favourite grounding steam is Rowena Tsai the RUclipsr. I also feel dread in the mornings and struggle to get started on anything for hours
This channel has just swept me off my feet. You are describing both my feelings and psysical experiences that I have never been able to put into words. I'm 36 and this year I got my ADHD-diagnosis. Now they don't think I am autistic - but I just KNOW I am. It feels like the ADHD is my mask and my driving force - but the autistic traits are just ME, my personality. You have taught me so
Today is a day that I woke up with ths dread, I made a mistake, I wish I knew this in the morning, I'm almost done with the day but your video is helping me now. Greetings from Mexico.
My beautiful girl, thank you so much for sharing, you give me strength to keep going...you have no idea! It feels like home, like a warm hug, we understand you and you understand us ❤ thank you
your content has been way more beneficial to me and my neurodivergence than years of therapy has. don't get me wrong, i love my therapist, but she doesn't really specialize in adhd/autism, and she has been helpful to me in other ways. but sometimes i feel like i hit a wall with them, especially when i come to them with struggles of this in particular. and it is very expensive therapy that I'm only so luck to not be paying for myself. so, thank you.
I don't know exactly what I want to say here or why but I've been trying to find a way to describe my state sometimes lately and this sort of morning dread feels like it resonates. Thanks for describing it.
I so appreciate you. I am realizing that I too have autism as well as adhd and it is a lot to deal with sometimes. But I love your videos and it makes me feel less alone in this world coming from this perspective. Thank you for showing up ❤❤❤ so much love to you!
I'm Hyperactive. I have Hypertension, Anxiety, and Depression. Hania Rani - G-major. It's got beautiful visuals. Little bits of beauty, comedy, philosophy, art, music is how i get through a day.
I just found your channel my friend sent me this video link they told me to watch this video so that I can understand them better and I am glad that I watched it I learned alot not just about them but I also learned something about myself as well so thank you for making this video
so, after a short but intense debate w myself I watched the whole video and just wanna say - it's a very thought through, detailed and deep and, well...needed IMHO 🙏 although personally I didn't hear anything I didn't know and wasn't implementing (trying to) already.. it feels almost as if it was filling a mental gap I wasn't entirely aware I had, in a way, if that makes sense.. p.s. best of luck, strength and intention on your journey, from someone out there in "other countries" 🙃 p.p.s. cultivation of factory worker's mindset is in no way unique to capitalism)) devoting some time to learn about other cultures could potentially be really beneficial, for one's mental health even (it was for me, for sure), through acquiring a rounder, more realistic view on humankind and on oneself in relation to it. (apologies if I'm not being clear enough - not an English-speaker)
i resonated so much with your phrasing of how we view success. when you talked about when we do eventually push ourselves to reach our goals, we downplay our work just because we feel we should’ve already achieved those goals. i never really knew how to phrase it, as someone with adhd and anxiety. i was never really happy whenever i accomplished something/learned something because i just downplayed it or ignored it. now that i hear you talk about how we view your own success, i realized how much of an issue it is because i’m not the only one. it’s really helpful watching your channel because after every video i find myself discovering more about my habits/behaviours.
Hi Irene - I want to let you know that I really enjoy the content that you put out on your channel. Your channel (along with other online resources) helped me to realize that I was Autistic and to receive a formal diagnosis a couple months ago. So thank you for that! I really resonate with what you are talking about in today's video. I have experienced that sense of impending doom for as long as I can remember, not everyday, but it is a regular visitor. It's definitely tough waking up in the morning like that, and for me can color the rest of my day. Like you said, it's important to check in with ourselves and see what we need self-care wise in order to get through our day as gently as we can. Being newly diagnosed, I am still very much learning what works for me, but so far I've responded well to utilizing pacing/energy conservation techniques, taking multiple breaks during the day (especially for stimming), and if my body/brain is giving me a hard "no" - then I don't push myself to be productive. It's very different from how I used to treat myself pre-diagnosis, and I am seeing positive effects overall. Have a blessed day! :)
I SO relate to this video, as soon as you started talking, l literally broke down in tears, no more like boo hoo crying 😢...glad to know it's a community of us out there and we can all stick together ❤..
Thanks for sharing...I find chillhop/lofi a great part of my morning and evening routine. I like watching your channel because it's so nice to see another Asian American embody the autistic experience in such a brave way. I also love watching farming, gardening, and nature-related videos such as "Jon Jandai Life is Easy" from Thailand, Epic Gardening, and other similar content.
Holy shit, you managed to summarize what I’ve been going through all my life…. Honestly thank you! It’s so hard to describe these feelings and experiences in words, which sucks when trying to explain this to others even my therapist, but you’ve helped me give words to them
people dont understand how i feel 😔😔😔 and my thoughts sometimes when people do so much for me i still feel hurt and sad its just how i feel but never give up always have hope and life will always be good cuz god makes its good for us he just wanna see us happy 😊❤❤❤
Thank you so much for this video such a great summary of my experience going through nursing school with ADHD. Doubting whether I’ll make a good nurse even tho I’m constantly told that I will by patients and nurses I work with because my abilities have made the educational aspect so difficult. And yet when I vocalize them out loud to other people they don’t get it or write it off as lack of effort, making excuses, or worst of all not caring about the assignment. Jordan Peterson was the first person I heard discuss the idea of coming alongside your inner mind as a friend and co-pilot and gently guiding your inner thoughts towards a mutually beneficial and agreeable solution instead of beating yourself over the head with your own expectations/obligations. But the way that you vocalized it here was beautiful and made me consider it in a new light. So thank you please keep making content
Undiagnosed Audhd from a third world country here. That part about watching shows to self regulate was very helpful, and made me cognizant of some of my behavior patterns. Thankyou.
I am 53 and have struggled with this since I was a child , I get up early so I can pace around and calm the thoughts in my head and then rush for the 5 min I have left before I have to be out the door , but I am always on time , never call in sick or miss deadlines because I have to pay my bills . I had to learn to cope with it , I don't have the option of lying on a couch all day procrastinating. I left home at 15 yrs old so I never had a choice but to push through .
The problem is the definition of success. The true definition of success in God's eyes is taking care of others like the Widows and the orphans and the fellow man. It's not about how nice and neat our houses are etc although those things bring great joy to ourselves. It's not really what's important in the end. It's how much we do for others. Yet I love this video I ve had morning dread like 99% of my life. I take meds now which make me sle÷py so I don't accomplish too much and I'm poor.. but I try to be kind and honest and so the best I can.
The worst thing is not being to able to plan because you don't know for sure that on whatever day you have organised to get something done, your brain is going to there for you. Then spending your time wondering if it will ever end and you'll be able to get on with your life...
I love your video, it really resonates. I'm recently diagnosed at 56, and of course I'm consuming a lot of content about ADHD... Some would call it hyperfocusing 😂 Something occurs to me though as I listen to you talk about that impending doom. I think we is neurodivergent people can figure it out because that's what we do. I do wonder how a neurotypical person would approach that same feeling on a regular basis? I am not being judgmental, just curious. Everyone says ADHD can be a superpower, I'm wondering if this is one of them putting one foot in front of the other and facing and pending doom head on 💪
Some of my fave calming voices on youtube that you may like are: Tara Brach, Pure Rasa, Jason Stephenson, The Honest guys, Dan Jones and John Moyer. Also, you can consider trying AMSR in the mornings. Many of them have very calming voices. Vagus nerve exercises are good too. I’m in the middle of an extreme life crisis and have gotten to a point where I can no longer stop the stress from overtaking me and the first thing I do when im spiraling is put on a Tara Brach video and I’m soothed back to a more functional level. Some breathing techniques help stop the thought processes from spiraling too so those are great. Mel Robin’s “54321” method helps that too….it interrupts the brain’s ability to talk you out of something that you don’t want to do or causes you stress so just repeat 54321 and after 1 you just go do the thing. Its been a good tool for me so far. Hypnosis has been a major helper in changing my thoughts to be more uplifting. Guided meditations are my absolute fave because my mind is actively in pursuit of imagining the scene they are creating and often they have profound effects on. I hope some of these help you. I would love to see a video in the future with all the info of your favorite voices/videos in the morning.
Steve Jobs created a strong team, he was neurodivergent but he succeed in so many ways. Maybe it's matter to find our own way that it might be different from neurotipical
![DDG & G Herbo - Nosey [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I9Ra0Zc2NlQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Waking up with the thought "What special hell awaits me today?" is exhausting. I have to convince myself "It's going to be okay."
😂yup
genuinely the worst part of a lot of my days. it's just like the moment that I feel conscious, I feel this shock of anxiety deep in the pit of my stomach and I have to just talk myself out of it to even want to open my eyes. The morning time right after I wake up is the time of day that I cancel the most things, and I usually regret it by the time it's the afternoon and I feel better.
I love this. I am ashamed to admit I gave up on “success” a long time ago. I know it’s not good because now I waste my days away on my phone in bed instead of living. I take medications for my adhd and anxiety which help me but only to a degree. I grew up with neurotypical parents who tried their best to understand but still (I am 34 and collect disability for depression among other things) ask me “how’s the job search going?” Since I’m on disability and it’s invisible people expect me to performing like neurotypicals. It’s so much pressure. I let go of it. I realized the other day even if I did become a doctor or whatever.. my parents would still be picking at me about stuff. So just be you and do you. A lot of us neurodivergent people need to erase all the years of ableism out of our lives and live in our truth. Our truth looks much different to NTs but it’s better than living a lie everyday just to make them happy. Release yourself of all that Irene! You deserve to know Peace. ❤
Very recognisable. In highschool I was top of the class effortlessly. So the expectations were very high. When I went to university for a masters and dropped out. I could not memmorise anything. Even if my life depended on it. Stress freezes me out and information cannot enter my brain or does not stick.
Combined with fitting into a new social environment. A dorm. I just crashed.
I also found out I cannot drive a car. A driving instructor paying attention to my every move freezes me among other problems. I had several driving instructors. Including ones who had training in dealing with nervous students.
I now volunteer as a farmhand for livestock 15-20 hours a week.
I am autistic officially diagnosed and I suspect also A.D.D.
I flew under the radar because of masking and the diagnosis was a suprise to a lot of people. I always knew I was different and always played the part.
@@thijsjong Yeah it might be ADHD related but also when you're ridiculously stressed out or depressed your memory is shot. That's what happened to me at the end of my bachelor's. Thankfully at the end I didn't have many classes I needed to finish. I would suggest trying for a diagnosis or going in and asking for anxiety medications since it's literally interfering with your ability to live a "normal" life.
@@thijsjong 😔 I am so sorry you went through all that.
@effy I have my own condo and two cats. I worked for 15+ years. I had to go to part time and now I’m not working at all. I collect disability. I still work though just volunteer jobs. No idea what your comment meant to imply…
@effy our prisons in our mind. Read up on Dr. Edith Eger. One day you’ll be free. Our state of mind controls everything…
I’m 60. Female. And I know this. Had it my whole life with no idea why. As a high achiever I just pushed myself through everything at a high cost. Frustrated & shamed by knowing I was intelligent & highly capable, but made everything harder by not being more focused & disciplined. Diagnosed with ADHD in my 50’s, I’m part of the “lost generation” of women - no one thought girls could have it or what it looked like. You are not alone. The paralysis and dread are real. We have a long way to go, but at least we have validation now.
Lost generation, you nailed it. I'm 56 and just diagnosed 8 months ago.... I appreciate your insight 💜
About your age and might actually be getting tested soon for ADHD. As I get older, it feels harder to focus and get things done. I talked to my Dr today and going to start reaching out for help.
58 and considering getting tested. All my life I've thought I was broken because I struggle so much with motivation and organization. My peers always seem more together, further along. They just DO things.
In place of the word “discipline”, I’ve found that another useful word is rigor. So instead of trying to go through my life pushing discipline upon myself, instead I just try to apply rigor to what I do. That accomplishes the same things in most cases, but it shifts the focus onto the output of my efforts rather than trying to whip myself into some kind of mold that I don’t necessarily fit into at that time. But I can apply rigor to my work and my productivity without needing to fit into any particular mold.
thank you.
I really like this distinction! Words matter and this makes a lot of sense to me - I also like to focus more on what I’m doing/the process of output vs proving I can stick to some set of standards.
I will use it this word now on
I like this. I’m going to sit with it and see how it lands for me. Thank you for sharing this.
Interesting
It has been a little more than 2 month that I found out I'm autistic (and also ADHD apparently), I didn't know it was a common trait to awake in fight or flight mode, the brain amp up on adrenaline by simple virtue of coming back to consciousness. So what I mean is I'm glad to having found this channel, for your advices and relatable content, thankful that you share with us your experience in a palatable way.
Do you think the fight or flight thing is related to your autism or to your ADHD or both?
@@graciev2973 Sorry, sadly I can't help you or give an answer with absolute certainty, I'm not neurologist or endocrinologist (our "little misery" don't seem really interesting for researchers when isn't about a "cure" for autism), from the fact there are often overlapping traits it could be either case.
But from what I gathered on the net (so has to be taken with a pinch of salt or two), it is more about a unbalance or a resistance to the "feel-good" hormones receptors (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endomophin) into the brain making us (I suppose) hypersensitive to other hormones like cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine, then prone to dysregulation at least that my theory but I could also talking out of my ass.
@@graciev2973 Short answer, IDK.
Now the long answer, my personal theory is from what is mostly circumstantial evidence at best and the few info floating around the net (aka mere opinion), there are a lot of overlapping between both, could be either one and could be both.
How it happens, could be inherent neurochemistry unbalance or a resistance to * "feel-good" hormones in our neurodivergent brains receptors, making us hypersensitive to **stress hormones.
But I'm neither neurologist or endocrinologist and had no medical training beyond CPR, therefore I very much have no clue to what I'm talking about.
*Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, Endorphins, Endomophin.
**Cortisol, Epinephrine, Norepinephrine.
Mornings are so difficult for me as well. I was relieved after my ADHD diagnosis bc now I know why my internal clock and body can’t adjust to the routine/ schedule of a “productive member of society” 🥺
I was noticing people all around me who get up and workout by 6am and are super productive by 9am and then work all day. I don’t know how people do this and not burnout but we are all unique and different. I’m accepting that this isn’t for me and that’s ok!
I no longer believe in “lazy” or feel ashamed for sleeping in or feel like I have to be productive every morning. I allow myself a few mornings a week where I do nothing besides eat and move my body and get coffee.
Still, other mornings I find myself not eating at all until noon or 2pm on days I do have to go to work or an appt. Though I know as a hyperactive person I need a lot of protein for breakfast, I still forget or decide that I don’t have time.
It’s still such a struggle so I appreciate your content and know I’m not alone ❤
I have intruding thoughts about how ugly I am. How untalented I am. How I know that people I meet will. not like me. I dread waking up, as well. I take a step back and realize that my friends, even people I meet, and my physicians tell me "cut the crap thoughts. You are a brilliant and beautiful person. You deserve the Best." - it took me hard wills, hard concentration on my life's prizes. I couldn't take their compliments at first. Now I can and I realize it's just the adhd and autism speaking nonsense to me. Ive been so used to being negative and isolated for so long - I thought it was normal to sabatage myself. You can do it. If you focus on the truer messages not the false ones conjoured up by your dissorders. Thanks for this message. You are far from being alone with this.
I often wake up scared and not sure what to do. It's awful because it's harder to recognize what's happening and fix it when I'm also groggy. People say to do a routine when you wake up to counteract this, but the executive disfunction is real. ❤❤
I found this video in the morning and it really helped me. Thank you.
When i cant watch a normal video i go with ASMR. I'm specific about which asmr i like, but it's great for an auditory stim that's meant to help you relax.
I really relate to being cautious what I watch or listen to, on "good" days too, let alone on "bad" days. thank you.
You beautifully articulated everything I feel most mornings. I’m 45 with a family, career, ADHD, and returned to university to complete my degree.
As I look back over my life, I’ve been able to “adult” but feel like I’m going to fall to pieces each day. It’s exhausting and like you said, it’s not just the mind, the body remembers and responds. I love your recommendations of managing content, people, etc., and developing a new relationship with your inter manager. This is a great video. Thank you!
The part about the work schedule though... that is literally where I'm at right now. A full 40 hr a week, I can't do. It's overwhelming and I feel like I burn out fast so I'm trying really hard to make part time work for me but it's really hard when a lot of jobs don't want part time workers or they don't take part time workers seriously. I'm also talking about jobs that pay well and would lead to a career not just a job you do on the side that doesn't go anywhere.
Yes those career jobs won't takw you u as part time. They want full time and it hurts my soul. Knowing I'll have to fake it in this world.
this was actually exactly the kind of content you talked about in the video (grounding, makes you connect with yourself instead of just being a distraction) for me this morning. thank you sooooo so much. I have a test this afternoon and I was paralysed for the whole week not being able to study at all. today I started differently, I took my meds, ate breakfast, cuddled with my cats, took a long shower, did my skincare, did some laundry that was piling up in the floor and I'm now gonna study for my test. and it's okay if it doesn't end up perfect, it's okay if tomorrow I have a bad day. what matters is right now. thank you for your content. it means a lot to me
I could write an essay about how helpful and comforting it is that I have found your channel. Thank you so much for making these videos and making me feel less alone.
I’ve always thought that crushing feeling of dread was part of depression but this makes so much more sense!
10:52 I felt this so fucking hard. Everyday and every night I watch episodes from the show Bobs Burgers because it’s like uplifting and light for me. I watch them over and over again and I didn’t realize I was using it as a stim because I thought it was just a comfort show for me but I’m realizing I don’t even really engage in watching the show I just play it in the background
The part about needing uplifting and grounding content is so relatable to me. I've found some luck with those youtube videos of aerial views of different cities and countries with music/calming narration. An ex partner would put them on as I started to stir in the early morning so I woke up to them and I still think of that and feel loved although that relationship is over. I never had someone think about my needs so proactively.
Yup, this is me. I try to be positive, but then I look in the mirror and tell myself "you're an idiot. You don't deserve to be here."
I feel like an alien.
You I articulated ADHD & Morning Dread perfectly. I've also lived with this my entire life and recently have realized that when something surprising or financially occurs in my life,. I will wake up daily for a while after with fear, shame, dread sitting squarely upon me. Like you, I don't suffer it at the level that I used to, thankfully. But when it jumps me now, I try to watch my mind and the thoughts that are occurring vs letting them run wild. I also give myself A LOT of room to care for myself, love myself etc. Bottom line, there's so much I love about your message - most importantly, THANK YOU for sitting down, putting on your makeup, loving Mable as you do (oh, btw- I also routinely put sunscreen in my eye) AND taking on this exact topic. It doesn't get discussed much if at all and that can make all that goes with being neurodiverse seem uniquely mine and mine alone, In reality, there's a BUNCH of us who are differently gifted and NOT BROKEN. Thank you so much. xo
I watched this and felt like crying. It's heartbreaking and exhausting to constantly struggle to keep up with everyone when you always feel like you're falling behind.
“Impending dread” I swear I have written that down in my journal so many times!!!
Thank you for this video it was very helpful and insightful.
Low dopamine is horrible, I feel you so much. It's only the Ritalin that tends to get me through those mornings/days.
I read a medical journal about the effects of methylphenidate on an ADHD brain which surprised me.. It said that it helps us to focus on all the reasons to do something instead of all the reasons not to. It makes it easier to get up and going without the weight of past failures or self doubt or mental blocks getting in the way, and making it feel like you're wading through sludge with a load of fog in your head. This fascinated me as it truly does feel like that - in a blink of an eye, of it kicking into my system, I feel lighter and happier and grateful and like I wanna make the most of my day vs before where I could only really muster up hiding in bed in a overwhelmed state beating myself up about another (already) unsuccessful day.
Previously my understanding was far more literal - I take a tablet which increases my dopamine and that's why I feel better. However that medical journal helped me to see the true deficit of having lower dopamine. It effects every part of us and that when i'm low or cant cope or it feels like i'll never achieve something consistently, it's actually just a sign my dopamine is especially low and that's ok. I can choose to do something naturally that I love/get active to increase this or I can take the medication. It's felt empowering finally understanding why it can be so hard at times.
I've found microdosing mushrooms (0.1g) alongside my prescribed dose helps to take the edge off the anxiety and it kinda feels like my brain is getting a hug from the inside out. I can tell it's working in the background to support me mentally (neuroplasticity). Of course everyone is different and i'm not condoning it for others, but it's been such a help for me. The Calm app, or site, is my go to for music or soundscapes that can uplift and ground me.
I hope you're having a better day today and know you're not alone in this :)
How you don't have more subscribers blows my mind. You're so honest and so thoughtfully detailed with your explanations.
You've helped me tremendously, and I'm sure I'm not the only one
Man I'm glad I found your videos. I can relate so much to you it's ridiculous. I was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD and dyslexia last year and it's been a crazy ride ever since then. I've been trying to reinvent myself into someone that better reflects who I am but it's hard to do that when I feel paralyzed every time I need to take action. Thanks for speaking on this!
I am autistic and they think I have adhd, I suspect it too. That combination is hell. The combination of other issues with autism, it's too much. Autism on itself is already too much a lot of the time. I'm burned out so often. I'm so done
god i feel this so hard. especially today, i just woke up feeling so dissociated and anxious :(
I already left a comment on this video a few months ago put I had to comment again because this video has become my go-to piece of media for whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed or just want to ground myself. It helps me acknowledge what I'm feeling while also not letting the feelings overrun me. The way you are so gentle and caring with yourself in that meditation in the beggining of the video truly moves me and inspires me to treat my own self with the respect and loving care I deserve. Thank you so much for this!
I can totally relate, mornings are often difficult for me. I feel like I am under water and it takes a long time to get to the surface. I don't have any ground breaking solutions unfortunately, I've just learned that I need to give myself a lot of time to get going. You are definitely not alone in your struggle 💜
So much love and appreciation for sharing such a vulnerable and beautifully worded description of ADHD. When you described how you might push yourself harder on certain days and finally accomplish something... It still feels like failure. I'm feeling that so much right now. ALSO, and most importantly, you called your cat Miss woman and I want you to know that I call my dog Mr. Mans all the time 😂
Not just me then. I found this genuinely reassuring . Thank you . That feeling of dread you have most mornings ( usually week days) is like the lie that you keep falling for. Once you're up it's OK ( hard but OK) but it's like the next day you reset and it all feels too much again. And the procrastination loop my life is stuck in causes me so much trouble.
I just recently discovered your channel and it's crazy how much we are alike! ☺️🙌 Loving your content and the topics you delve into, and demand avoidance is so real girl I totally feel you!! 😭😂😂
You are so relatable that same sense of dread love your intelligent videos
It is so unbelievably validating to hear you say all the things that I think or feel. especially the part about how when you finally accomplish something and you realize that it's something that everybody else can normally do without much effort, instead of it feeling like a small win you still feel like a failure. It creates such a depressing feedback loop in which there are no rewards even when you have to work doubly hard for something as somebody else does, or even triply, quadruply hard to do something basic. part of it is that having autism and ADHD can lead to so many thoughts of self-hatred because you don't feel adequate for anything, You have such a hard time getting things done even though you want them to be done perfectly, You have all these words and you can speak so eloquently when it doesn't really matter but as soon as you need to communicate something important the word start to fall away or mix up.
I just wish I could get back to the younger version of myself who would have been much more pleased with the small wins that I make nowadays.
You able to articulate everything that I've been feeling and going through so clear. Thankful for coming across your channel.
I can't put into words how much your content has helped me. I've recently discovered my autism and ADHD and it has helped so much to see someone going through a similar experience. I hope your day is well and thank you for your videos.
Binaural tones are amazing ❤
This video is totally talking to me. And discipline is a word I have trouble with because it feels like most of the time I do not have it. Can I get myself to do things? Yes, but at times no. I totally turn to food, videos, and sleep when I am feeling overwhelmed. I am not a spring chicken and still working on this. I really needed to hear this video today. It was an anxious day.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and open. As a highly sensitive person that is neurodivergent it was nice to see I’m not the only one. Thank you for showing the grounding and being kind to yourself moment. I’m going to try this. Thank you again.
This was so empowering for me. I just needed a reminder to go slow and have empathy for myself on days I can't do much and to shut down that voice system that constantly expects me to have it all together. 💞
Hello ❤ I just discovered your channel a few days ago and it is a gem. Thank you for all you do. I understood so much about myself, I always thought I was broken or wrong somehow... I recognize myself in all your videos and I finally feel a sense of hope. My kids are also aspies and I'm gonna watch your clips with them, so that we learn about ourselves.... thank you again so much ❤❤❤❤❤
This ks the exsct feeling I've been having sometimes in the morning. Sometimes, in the evening, I struggle to go to sleep at a reasonable hour because I just don't want that next day to come and the dread tjat comes with it. I really want to break this cycle. I will say that habing less stress in my life after finishing school (or...not the same kind of stress) has somewhat helped. However, I really need to implemznt more changes in my life so that waking up and facing another day doesn't feel like a chore anymore.
I am grateful for this video, this content. I am newly self diagnosed in process to official (F40), sorting out what is me from all the years of sheltering my parents from their trauma while knowing I had needs I didn't know how to communicate and no one trying to translate. I was VERY quiet, but interactive so I guess I didn't raise many alarms...or enough to raise an eyebrow anywhere.
I look back and realize how neglected I felt. I'm learning about executive functioning and boundaries and how to figure out which needs are my autistic needs and which needs are my trauma needs. When you talk about waking up with dread I just so needed a method of how to be the one in charge when this happens if that makes sense. Thank you.
I'm glad that I found your channel. I found my community in the comment section ❤. Reading people stories and advices/tips really help me.
I'm sitting here on a "good day" where I got it all done and then some but didn't have that sense of accomplishment... and just want to thank you that as I work into the night I no longer feel alone. There are other people doing this with me. There are others who understand. Thank you for that.
I've been dealing with this for about 5 years now. Everyday I have this terrible dread. I tried different medications, and it doesn't change anything. I push so hard, I push through my chronic conditions, and people never ask why you're 10 minutes late and decide that you don't take anything seriously and delete your file, stuff like this. I'm just fighting an uphill battle everyday. I was a super successful kid, I'm a high-achiever, I put on the mask and go so hard people don't even believe that I'm sick anymore. Often the first meal of my day was at my evening shift at a coffee shop. I take a pill to sleep, and one to be awake. But in 5 years I hadn't had a job to motivate me to get up in the morning. All people say is more rest, more sleep - I slept and slept until I just started sleeping way too much every day. Then I rush through my things like crazy. I can't describe how tired I am, how much efforts I put in at work just to be very poor. I can't pay my bills and my friends had to give me groceries. It's hard.
I AM motivated. I AM dreaming. I HAVE hope for the future. Hope for the future is NOT gonna change my brain's chemistry and my everyday struggle. I just wish one, a single, therapist, would understand that vision do NOT change your day-to-day life.
And then all the jobs left for you are very hard, very early, long hours... and I gotta eat! How do I break the cycle?!
The way I realized 22 minutes in that you were doing your makeup
I relate so much to what you have shared especially about how the mornings feel. Thank you for being brave and sharing and for being vulnerable .
I love ypue videoes, you are so right about the kack og selfcompassion, most of us with anxiety and depression combined with Add and or ASD, we often think about the thing we dont master as well as other people do, and we should be able too. You are a very good explainer and alsi a good teacher!!❤❤
From the outside I look successful in my job. I manage a team and I do take medication. On the inside I have imposter syndrome, anxiety, overwhelm and this feeling of impending dread every day. With more money and getting to do more interesting things comes much more overwhelm. I stepped down from a job once but I was so incredibly bored. What I really want in life, and always have, is to work for myself. I just have no clue how to get there.
Sometimes i cry because im stressed out sometimes i feel like crying helps my anxiety i wish people can read my thoughts to understand how i feel somerimes i feel sad and i pretend to be happy and nice i wish i didn't pretend its what i see in my heart ❤❤❤❤❤
Your thought provoking and beautiful to me. I thought I was alone . Stay strong ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please never stop to make this videos ❤️ my favourite grounding steam is Rowena Tsai the RUclipsr. I also feel dread in the mornings and struggle to get started on anything for hours
This made me cry so much, since it hit so close to home for me.
This channel has just swept me off my feet. You are describing both my feelings and psysical experiences that I have never been able to put into words. I'm 36 and this year I got my ADHD-diagnosis. Now they don't think I am autistic - but I just KNOW I am. It feels like the ADHD is my mask and my driving force - but the autistic traits are just ME, my personality.
You have taught me so
Today is a day that I woke up with ths dread, I made a mistake, I wish I knew this in the morning, I'm almost done with the day but your video is helping me now.
Greetings from Mexico.
That first minute or so was verbatim what I deal with in the mornings.
My beautiful girl, thank you so much for sharing, you give me strength to keep going...you have no idea! It feels like home, like a warm hug, we understand you and you understand us ❤ thank you
your content has been way more beneficial to me and my neurodivergence than years of therapy has. don't get me wrong, i love my therapist, but she doesn't really specialize in adhd/autism, and she has been helpful to me in other ways. but sometimes i feel like i hit a wall with them, especially when i come to them with struggles of this in particular. and it is very expensive therapy that I'm only so luck to not be paying for myself.
so, thank you.
So relatable though 😭😭
I don't know exactly what I want to say here or why but I've been trying to find a way to describe my state sometimes lately and this sort of morning dread feels like it resonates. Thanks for describing it.
I so appreciate you. I am realizing that I too have autism as well as adhd and it is a lot to deal with sometimes. But I love your videos and it makes me feel less alone in this world coming from this perspective. Thank you for showing up ❤❤❤ so much love to you!
Watching this by way of procrastination 😂
It’s a daily struggle. I hate going to bed 🛌 at night. I know the pain. In chest and racing thoughts telling me don’t get up. Just lay there.
You have such a soothing voice, I hope this video improved your mood for the day
Amazing! Thank you for posting this, I never knew how to explain this to ANYONE!!💝 Waking up feeling that same exact stuff!
I'm Hyperactive. I have Hypertension, Anxiety, and Depression. Hania Rani - G-major. It's got beautiful visuals. Little bits of beauty, comedy, philosophy, art, music is how i get through a day.
i resonated with this so deeply thank u for sharing and making me feel less alone 🫂💗
You’re very well spoken and your content is relatable. I also have to watch what/how much media I consume, which wasn’t the case until recently
I’m so thankful to find this video I’ve been having a really hard time stuck in life living Groundhog Day
I just found your channel my friend sent me this video link they told me to watch this video so that I can understand them better and I am glad that I watched it I learned alot not just about them but I also learned something about myself as well so thank you for making this video
so, after a short but intense debate w myself I watched the whole video and just wanna say - it's a very thought through, detailed and deep and, well...needed IMHO 🙏
although personally I didn't hear anything I didn't know and wasn't implementing (trying to) already.. it feels almost as if it was filling a mental gap I wasn't entirely aware I had, in a way, if that makes sense..
p.s. best of luck, strength and intention on your journey, from someone out there in "other countries" 🙃
p.p.s. cultivation of factory worker's mindset is in no way unique to capitalism)) devoting some time to learn about other cultures could potentially be really beneficial, for one's mental health even (it was for me, for sure), through acquiring a rounder, more realistic view on humankind and on oneself in relation to it. (apologies if I'm not being clear enough - not an English-speaker)
i resonated so much with your phrasing of how we view success. when you talked about when we do eventually push ourselves to reach our goals, we downplay our work just because we feel we should’ve already achieved those goals. i never really knew how to phrase it, as someone with adhd and anxiety. i was never really happy whenever i accomplished something/learned something because i just downplayed it or ignored it. now that i hear you talk about how we view your own success, i realized how much of an issue it is because i’m not the only one. it’s really helpful watching your channel because after every video i find myself discovering more about my habits/behaviours.
Thanks
Just your title alone was enough for me to know exactly what you meant.
Thank you for this. It's hard for me to keep a job with this dread. I always end up quitting then hate myself for it.
Hi Irene - I want to let you know that I really enjoy the content that you put out on your channel. Your channel (along with other online resources) helped me to realize that I was Autistic and to receive a formal diagnosis a couple months ago. So thank you for that! I really resonate with what you are talking about in today's video. I have experienced that sense of impending doom for as long as I can remember, not everyday, but it is a regular visitor. It's definitely tough waking up in the morning like that, and for me can color the rest of my day. Like you said, it's important to check in with ourselves and see what we need self-care wise in order to get through our day as gently as we can. Being newly diagnosed, I am still very much learning what works for me, but so far I've responded well to utilizing pacing/energy conservation techniques, taking multiple breaks during the day (especially for stimming), and if my body/brain is giving me a hard "no" - then I don't push myself to be productive. It's very different from how I used to treat myself pre-diagnosis, and I am seeing positive effects overall. Have a blessed day! :)
I SO relate to this video, as soon as you started talking, l literally broke down in tears, no more like boo hoo crying 😢...glad to know it's a community of us out there and we can all stick together ❤..
When you took a sip of coffee and grounded yourself I felt myself relaxing too
Thanks for sharing...I find chillhop/lofi a great part of my morning and evening routine. I like watching your channel because it's so nice to see another Asian American embody the autistic experience in such a brave way. I also love watching farming, gardening, and nature-related videos such as "Jon Jandai Life is Easy" from Thailand, Epic Gardening, and other similar content.
omg thank you for this comment i have now discovered Jon Jandai Easy Life 🙏☯️
Holy shit, you managed to summarize what I’ve been going through all my life…. Honestly thank you! It’s so hard to describe these feelings and experiences in words, which sucks when trying to explain this to others even my therapist, but you’ve helped me give words to them
I relate so much to this topic. Thank you so much for your transparency.
people dont understand how i feel 😔😔😔 and my thoughts sometimes when people do so much for me i still feel hurt and sad its just how i feel but never give up always have hope and life will always be good cuz god makes its good for us he just wanna see us happy 😊❤❤❤
Sorry you feel that way
But thank you for posting!
I realize that I’m not alone !
I feel this way
Thank you so much for this video such a great summary of my experience going through nursing school with ADHD. Doubting whether I’ll make a good nurse even tho I’m constantly told that I will by patients and nurses I work with because my abilities have made the educational aspect so difficult. And yet when I vocalize them out loud to other people they don’t get it or write it off as lack of effort, making excuses, or worst of all not caring about the assignment. Jordan Peterson was the first person I heard discuss the idea of coming alongside your inner mind as a friend and co-pilot and gently guiding your inner thoughts towards a mutually beneficial and agreeable solution instead of beating yourself over the head with your own expectations/obligations. But the way that you vocalized it here was beautiful and made me consider it in a new light. So thank you please keep making content
Wow. This hits me really hard. I felt this same way every morning for a for years. I would be so upset that I would throw up
Love the eyebrow...armor? Hello x I can relate to this completely. Making me cry now..
It’s one of the most important videos for me I’ve watching on this channel so far. Thanks for you hard work and sharing your wisdom with us.
Just started watching and I wanna cry
Undiagnosed Audhd from a third world country here. That part about watching shows to self regulate was very helpful, and made me cognizant of some of my behavior patterns. Thankyou.
I am 53 and have struggled with this since I was a child , I get up early so I can pace around and calm the thoughts in my head and then rush for the 5 min I have left before I have to be out the door , but I am always on time , never call in sick or miss deadlines because I have to pay my bills . I had to learn to cope with it , I don't have the option of lying on a couch all day procrastinating. I left home at 15 yrs old so I never had a choice but to push through .
Thank you Thank you Thank you. Affermations are so strong.
The problem is the definition of success. The true definition of success in God's eyes is taking care of others like the Widows and the orphans and the fellow man. It's not about how nice and neat our houses are etc although those things bring great joy to ourselves. It's not really what's important in the end. It's how much we do for others. Yet I love this video I ve had morning dread like 99% of my life. I take meds now which make me sle÷py so I don't accomplish too much and I'm poor.. but I try to be kind and honest and so the best I can.
The worst thing is not being to able to plan because you don't know for sure that on whatever day you have organised to get something done, your brain is going to there for you. Then spending your time wondering if it will ever end and you'll be able to get on with your life...
Oh so me 😢. Thank you for this 🙏❤️
I love your video, it really resonates. I'm recently diagnosed at 56, and of course I'm consuming a lot of content about ADHD... Some would call it hyperfocusing 😂
Something occurs to me though as I listen to you talk about that impending doom. I think we is neurodivergent people can figure it out because that's what we do. I do wonder how a neurotypical person would approach that same feeling on a regular basis? I am not being judgmental, just curious. Everyone says ADHD can be a superpower, I'm wondering if this is one of them putting one foot in front of the other and facing and pending doom head on 💪
Some of my fave calming voices on youtube that you may like are: Tara Brach, Pure Rasa, Jason Stephenson, The Honest guys, Dan Jones and John Moyer. Also, you can consider trying AMSR in the mornings. Many of them have very calming voices. Vagus nerve exercises are good too. I’m in the middle of an extreme life crisis and have gotten to a point where I can no longer stop the stress from overtaking me and the first thing I do when im spiraling is put on a Tara Brach video and I’m soothed back to a more functional level. Some breathing techniques help stop the thought processes from spiraling too so those are great. Mel Robin’s “54321” method helps that too….it interrupts the brain’s ability to talk you out of something that you don’t want to do or causes you stress so just repeat 54321 and after 1 you just go do the thing. Its been a good tool for me so far. Hypnosis has been a major helper in changing my thoughts to be more uplifting. Guided meditations are my absolute fave because my mind is actively in pursuit of imagining the scene they are creating and often they have profound effects on. I hope some of these help you. I would love to see a video in the future with all the info of your favorite voices/videos in the morning.
And after 1, what if I still haven't done the thing? What then?
Well said
everything going on in the world and instant access to it doesnt help. I tell myself everyday that I am going to change tomorrow. But here I sit.
Steve Jobs created a strong team, he was neurodivergent but he succeed in so many ways. Maybe it's matter to find our own way that it might be different from neurotipical
So glad I found your channel, relate to a lot of this so much and its really helpful to hear your perspective.
Thank you for your Videos they mean alot to me
I can't express how grateful I am to find this video. Thank you so much.