🕚TIMESTAMPS🕝 Intro: (0:00) Pile Selection: (0:21) Pile 1 🖤(Snowflake Obsidian)🖤**TRIGGER WARNING: NARCISSISTIC ABUSE/SA IS MENTIONED HEAVILY IN THIS PILE: (06:32) Pile 2 🩵(Blue Calcite)🩵 (01:40:28) Pile 3 💜(Ametrine)💜 (03:01:01) 🔮PERSONAL READINGS🔮 Are CLOSED! I'll let you know when/if they're open again. :) 📚EXTENDED READINGS📚 **Pile One Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998024671 **Pile Two Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998026870 **Pile Three Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998028005 📔READING BREAKDOWN📔 1. Energy Check/Tarot - You VS Your Ex - What Wisdom You Can Harvest & Let Go 2. Energy Check 2/Tarot - You VS Your NEXT Love Interest - Where Your Love Life Is Heading & Who You're Moving Toward
Pile number 3, Hi fellow Pile 3, I too was in this state of self sabotage always pulling myself away from relationships and stuff like. My parents sold me off for money, so self worth wounds ran deep. I'm not completely out of this energy yet but let me tell you what I did till now. I hope someone in the community watches this and finds some solace. Please try to find as much as good and emotionally available people who can help you nurture yourself. Be there for them as they are with you. I know its hard to get over that worthiness and life unnecessary at times but trust me there's a way out. I hope you do good in life, befriend the right kind of people and surround yourself with them. You don't need to isolate yourself anymore due to your "supposed" shortcomings cause trust me when you find the right kind of people and support, all of these pressure to look a certain way to hold upto societal norms will melt away. I trust you with that. Please take care of yourself. Don't wallow in your emotions and let those emotions take more space in your life than they are required to. I'm rooting for you all. Take care of yourself. Bye ❤
Pile 2: When you have abandonment wounds you will keep trying to rescue/fix them and there’s a sense that if they finally choose you and stay with you then you are someone worthy and lovable! We/you are always worthy and lovable! Learn about the father wound and how to reparent yourself! I’m sending you so much love that your own love will come pouring out of you and fill your own cup! You can do this! We can do this! ❤
Pile 3: I've never cried so much during the first 20 minutes of a reading. When you talked about my family and how much they've wronged me and then said I was "a gem of a human being" and that you were sorry they treated me this way I was just bawling the whole time. I felt so seen. And you're right, it definitely has played a large role in my relationships, they were all very short. I thought I might as well end it before they end it. I'm broken, who can love someone as broken as me? I've worked so much to fill the cracks with gold and make myself more valuable. I think I'm ready for a relationship now, but my trauma still makes me think that it's impossible for someone to love me and that they'll reject me like everyone in my family has and I don't want to self sabotage.
Pile 2! This had all happened back in 2022 but I was having some flashbacks and wanted some further help on this subject! I am in a much better place and you said a lot of the things I was going through back then, I honestly don’t want this person back and im excited I did choose myself! He tried to come back around 2023 and I completely shut it down and didn’t show him any attention. Now I’m still healing my wounds around love but I see the growth honestly, I remember at the time I just wanted to jump to where I am now but I see I wouldn’t be here without the things I had to go through. Now I’m a strong woman with a strong voice and I’m learning everyday what choosing myself looks like!
Pile 2 - this was crazy spot on, it’s not even funny, I cried multiple times throughout the reading and I really needed to hear all of that, even the most uncomfortable moments, but I think it really helped me confirm and connect with what I was already feeling. Interesting enough, I’ve been seeing 33 everywhere, to the point where it’s been getting frustrating to seeing it everywhere I go, but as you’ve said, it’s my spiritual team sending me signs and support in this rebirth. Thank you for your time and reading, it was the most important reading I’ve heard in a while ❤
Pile 1. ITS CRAZY HOW it’s resonates We were married we have a child There was abuse And making me feel I was too much and that I made him be like this He was so good at pretending I didn’t know he was actually a narcissist until I got out and got divorce one month ago and realized it. He has his sun at Virgo and he changed me so much till I couldn’t recognize myself and I forgot my voice and I used to play guitar and once I started to wanna play again we went in argument and he broke my guitar and their moon is also in cancer He made me depressed in the first year of marriage and the therapist I went told me that he has to come and we gonna make it into a marriage counseling and he refused to come and that there’s nothing wrong with him and god knows what I told about the therapist about him, And he always used to come back promising he’d change and that he’s gonna get help and never did, and I actually started to realize his games and manipulation and he knew I know now His is actually attractive And he definitely had childhood trauma there was abuse in his house hold and he never knew how to love and I always believed in some good in him as you said.but not anymore I couldn’t see myself more clear and safe and healing everyday being away from him and this actually made it even more clear such a good timing I actually cried while watching this. the timing is so good thank you. The hardest part in this is that he’s the father of my child and that I can’t just delete him out of my life for good but I know and learning more about how to protect myself and my energy + first time commenting in a reading I just had to and to anyone else lived the same things believe me ! It gets better once you choose yourself once you know how much love you deserve and that none of this was your fault ever.
pile #2 I really cried during this reading thank you so much for helping me thank you so much for all your beautiful kind energy really appreciated. I really needed a friend ♥️
Pile 1!! Took me a while i got out an i never ever look back i really feel better an free an i wanna say to all who are still in the situation i send u so much ❤️ u are way stronger then u realise, and once ur free thats it u really do feel better just affirm ur power back iv been affirming all my power back an now im so so much happier!! Believe in yourselves people!! U have complete control!! I had kids in this too so yes please be brave an strong they want to take every last bit of happiness from you until u become numb,lifeless an feel like the biggest failer.. an wow the sexual bit got me i couldnt really admit this properly to me even doctors tried to help but this triggered me an feeling u read this with the heart you have is beautifull!! Just thank you, he used it as i dont love him if i dnt do certain things an really tried to expose me alot but yeh i was done i took my power an ran far far away!!! We are smarter because u realise u can do better u can get out an can fix yourself to be even stronger with awareness !!! Thank you so much for this reading ❤️ your support ❤️ I am empowered!!! ❤
Pile 2! When I say my jaw was on the floor through most of it. I have never in my life had such an accurate reading, may as well have been a personal read! Even the Avatar references! Was tearing up through most of it , I’m actually in shock but by god did I need to hear this . What a special reader you are. Truly thank you! 🙏🏻💛
Chose pile 3 and yes I experienced bullying from childhood through early Highschool. I met this person last year he's a Scorpio and it pains me a lot that he ghosted me thinking that maybe I'm that ugly to left me out in the cold that easily. I'm also suffering from acne so it is difficult for me to look at the mirror (I don't) the trauma and insecurities are there because I was judged based on the way I look. Thank you for this reading I'm literally crying hearing this message. My mom is a bit passive sometimes I don't know if she's really listening or she was physically there but not paying attention; my dad is very nonchalant; they support me financially especially when it comes to my education but they lack emotional and mental support. There are times that I wish that I would just vanish from the phase of the earth and be in another planet that I can call my own space. I literally don't know where to go next..I just don't I cannot see it as of now; but its true that I have a gift when it comes to astral travel and tarot reading; Thank you again I REALLY NEED THIS 😭❣
20 minutes into P3 and 🥹. U are telling so much of my earlier years. 😮💨. Taking a break to check in with self ‘ cause u just called my name. Ty. This is Good already-no where near done. Ty. Thank you. 🙏🏾
Pile 1. It was like a personal reading. I am autistic and was a child prodigy with writing and playing music. My mom used it to make her look good. I ended up hating music because I had to do it for her. My past with she as a narcissist has attracted many more into my life. Lots of darkness and pain and confusion. Thank you for helping me understand my life path so much better.. 🙏🏼
This is my first time watching your videos. I chose Pile 1 and boy did it feel like a personal reading. I just broke up with my ex less than a week ago and he was literally everything that you describe. The narcissist, the lies, the blame shifting and the gaslighting. It really got to a point where I could not take it anymore. My therapist has been talking a lot about reclaiming my voice and it was amazing that even you mentioned it. Thank you for this reading
Pile 2. You made me cry and it was so on point. I am an ENFJ with a libra moon. I am ashamed of my negative feelings and a people pleaser. Thank you so much for this reading. It was worth 10 therapy sessions.
💖WE CANT COME ON HERE to want to KNOW, WITHOUT HAVING TO LEARN .💫 please don't allow yourselves to be triggered. I personally found this to be delightful and also laughed when she flipped that bear card the more she breaks these situations down the more I want to explore. Whether it resonates or not I love her method of reading, very beautiful & compassionate 💕 GodBlessYou and your gift thank you for teaching & enlightening us.🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I love ur energy and readings sm! tysm for taking the time to give us lengthy readings like this, they always fill me w hope and are so spot on! keep being u
Pile 3 hit hard this time.. so much was correct. I'm a bit worried now. I always thought that I would be worthy of love when I'm thinner, prettier and smarter. If not that at least with stronger talent. I'm Aries sun and moon, Scorpio rising, and infj..
Pile 1 so many confirmations and I was praying for this reading - especially since mercury in Retrograde has been bringing things up💜💜thank you so much for this reading.
Pile 3, we have never met nor talked & it’s a rare instance I commented under your videos. How did you know I struggled with my femininity as a trans man & enjoyed fashion? Fashion has helped me embrace it, & I have deep issues with family & even other trans people on accepting me as a man / masculine. I do need to slow down. Very, very accurate, thank you Lotus. 🩵
Perfect timing!! Seeing an ex next month that I thought was the Counterpart, but was actually the Initiator ✨ Grateful that relationship was blocked from manifesting to more, and extra grateful for the many reminders of this before seeing him for the first time in over 2 years! Love how timing works 🙌
This was just the most fabulous reading ever, pile 1, was so intense, but actually so validating and honouring of the journey and therefore so very healing to receive. Thank you thank you thank you, from my heart sincerely 🙏✨❤️
Pile 3: I’m not gonna lie I’ve screamed “LADY WHO ARE YOU?????” More than 10 times… I even looked over my shoulder, a couple of times,this might be the best reading I’ve ever gotten…
Lotus! I haven’t been doing relationship readings because I swore off relationships until I closed in my new house which is going to be this coming Friday - and here is the perfect reading for this next stage of my life :) Pile 1 here and you completely nailed my family dynamic and the ex - the fact that you mentioned 13 years is wild to me because while we broke up seven years in, it took me another six years to heal and break free for a grand total of lucky number 13 💜 can’t wait to check out the extended!
Pile 1 - I don't normally comment on these, but I just had to say thank you. I did slam the door a month ago. It's been one year to this day that I asked for a divorce and I'm seeing this video during a thunderstorm. Gotta love divine timing. But yeah, thank you. I have been loving a lot of your videos lately, but this one saw me on a very deep level. I'm glad you chose not to delete it. Many, many blessings to you.
merc merc (a nickname for mercury) got me thinking about settling for the past since my life right now isn’t even 50% great at the moment. one of my closest family members got engaged recently and i have been feeling like im falling behind and i should just settle down already.. im glad this reading exists! i just subscribed! looking forward to this reading ✨
Pile 1: Thank you for the reminder that I am creative. Transmutation has always been a coping mechanism to liberate myself from the bs of life, and something I've been forgetting. My best friend always tells me I have 'Siren Vibes' (I cant sing and don't typically speak well), so I don't see it, but that part did make me laugh. (Maybe its my Pisces Moon?) Your insight into the grosser parts of life, fuck, that was spot on. Dad was the issue on all the fronts, my mother was grossly codependent and never left despite the extreme narcissism or abuse. Rather than going to therapy, I ran away to model, got put in a few too many gross situations, and ended up running straight into the arms of a dude with my father's negative traits. We had a kid pretty quickly, and watching her feel the need to step in and defend me was what woke me up to leaving him. (He has some seriously sick....desires/tastes. What he offered was not love, it was abuse. His inner self is literally a DUMB Gaslighting Monster--he didn't believe in rape inside the marriage.) We've been divorced almost 10 years, but I'm still trying to do some shadow work, but going back there is literally nauseating and hard--to be fair, I'd rather escape from it. My daughter comes back from visiting him in the summer, and he has the audacity to say shit to her like, "Its hard to look at you (or spend time with you), because you look so much like your mother." He's been married and divorced since, and his exes keep reaching out looking for other people who understand the trauma he delivers. (We've essentially created a support group, and reach out any time we get triggered.) I love all the protection you offer in this. Thank you for reassuring me the bullshit was real, and not in my head. Your outrage somehow makes me feel that much more validated, so again, thank you. I swear, I end up over sharing in your comments more than anywhere else. Thank you for the space.
Everytime mercury retrograde approaches I always feel a unexplainable pull towards my past connections yet finding this reading at the exact time I was spiraling into self doubt really helped me understand to receive new beginnings you have to let go of the old patterns thank you 🤍
Hey Lotus, I'm glad you're back uploading pick a card readings again! I haven't been watching you for a while, and when I decided to come back so are you! I was in pile 3, and yeah, the romantic connection was never really real, it had only been in my mind this whole time. But the good news is, I am finally deciding to move on, to focus on myself in full force! I said goodbye to her, even being friends was too much, which really sucked, but that felt like the right thing to do.
Pile 3 totally brought up a man I wanted so bad 5 years ago. I would say I’m over him but the aftermath of that “connection” was devastating. It tore so deep into my core wounds. He strung me along for two years and took advantage of me in some gnarly ways. He was 10 years older than me, an amazing/successful artist, filmmaker, photographer. I never felt good enough for him. We were intimate twice but it never went anywhere and shortly after I cut him out of my life, he got engaged to a beautiful, cool yoga teacher girl who’s also a photographer. I needed this message, I dreamt of him a week or so ago.
Pile 2…slightly “ouch” in places but thank you 🙏🏼, you are extremely helpful and validating my intuition is most definitely getting stronger by the day x thanks also, for the heads up of the pending dark night, my new chapter awaits and it’s a big one 💪
Pile 1 🧞♂️ looking forward for what the future has to offer and im grateful that im no longer stuck with past people 💖 thank you sweets for the reading i love you much 😊
Sorry to spam I just wanted to comment on your accuracy. You're so right. Pile 2 resonated heavy ❤ thank you for all that you do! This was confirmation of the direction I've been heading in. The more I release, the more powerful I feel. It comes in waves
I'm so happy that it resonated for you! There was some powerful release and transformative energy coming through in that pile. I'm glad that you're alchemizing things right now; I can't wait to see you on the other side of this shift!
I'm a little halfway through the reading, I think I just needed confirmation because I had always been gaslighting myself due to my traumas. Yes, he was abusive, and I'm glad we're holding him accountable in this reading. Pile 1.
Pile 3: thank you for getting angry on our behalf. Currently ignoring him and I had to call out loud last night “you are not welcome in my energy. Leave me alone.” Just so I could have peace. It’s been easier since then. Thank you for the validation and love.
It seems that I always get the model Pile. I was asked a few times if I model and was advised to do pageant when I was young but never even thought of myself this way and feel very insecure about my looks... When it comes to my creativity, you are so spot on I am meant to be seen but I am hiding big time and as you said, I have met many people who are in the public eye, 2 of my exes are also. You are the real deal Taylor! Pile3😊❤
Wooo girl you read me to *absolute* FILTH in pile 2😭😭it literally felt like a personal reading. Your video came up as the first rec when I randomly thought about my person and asked spirit for a reading on him💀💀they've had enough
Soo 😂.... Pile 2 I wanna say a BIG thanku to you because... The message my guides have been sending to me about this which I had been ignoring completely cause it's triggered me in past!!.. I didn't really accept it fully at that point of time.. But when you upload the last reading of divine M & F one.. To go seperate ways... I truly listen to you ,somehow it's triggers to me BUT I LISTEN TO YOU.. It's feel like your energy will always says the truth to me & for my own good.. So THANKU THANKU SO MUCH FOR JUST EXISTING & THESE MESSAGES.. I truly TREASURE YOU ✨🦚
I just want to say I love your readings so much. I know you muted comments on some of the prior ones and I’m sorry if you dealt with a holes. Keep doing what you’re doing!!!
Pile 3… you’ve done it again! You’re right on point with this entire reading. I was never in a physical actual relationship with him but spiritually, I might as well would’ve been married to him. Sounds crazy unless you’re a spiritual person and can understand what I’m trying to say but that’s how intense everything was for me. I fell soooo deep for him but I always felt like I wasn’t good enough for him and he never gave me the time of day neither so it stayed as a horrible crush that was very one sided. I guess limerence? So yeah, it’s been a nightmare for me for many many years. As far as the childhood portion, you got it down-pact as well… I was bullied terribly by my family and at times socially. My mother was basically like a step mother with how she treated me so I grew up feeling very unloved and unrelated to my family overall. This whole experience broke me beyond what I could put into words.
I picked pile 1. And quickly, the details sounded correct. But I thought taurus is not in my fifth house. So, I looked it up- and indeed, taurus IS in my fifth house. That was the only time I laughed during this reading. Because everything you said is true. Ive sort of accepted that my job has always been to deal with other people and their emotions. It started very young. I remember receiving the most grown up award in the 4th grade. This is not actually a compliment. Thats also when I started having panic attacks, though I had no idea what was happening. Ive spent my entire life being what other people needed me to be because I didn't want anyone to feel as badly as I did. And this ex you were talking about, never made it to ex because he never let me be anything to him. I wasn't good enough to be with. He devalued me almost immediately while bragging about his other conquests. He wanted me to compete for him. To prove myself worthy of him. And in this process, I started to see that he was every relationship I had in my life, because ultimately, he was my mother. My mother actually hates me, but every person I have ever met has loved her. She competes with me constantly; my successes are really her successes; there is no ME in any of this. So, this man, burned down my life. I can't look away from all the people that have been using what I offer them in love. Now, I see that I have to be more careful. Boundaries are important. Self-respect is important. Anyway, I want to thank you. I cried through this whole thing, but its because no one every believes me when I tell them about a particular person. Everyone always dismisses me. It's like they can't see it. So, I get labelled crazy. I have always been very sensitive about being called crazy. And right now, he said something- I know this because people have stopped talking to me. Thats probably for the best. These aren't my people. Blocking him was so hard. It hurts me even now. But ultimately, Im going to take this lesson and run. I feel very strongly that there is somewhere I am supposed to be. I don't know where that is, but it's not here. Not anymore.
Pile 2 - Phew. Oh my god. I needed this reading so bad. We’ve been non-contact for a while and he has a new girlfriend that he’s moved in with but yes I am still hanging on just waiting to hear from him. It’s so sad and yes I’m only giving a fraction of myself to myself because of it. ❤😢 Thank you for the wake up call! I know what I need to do - and maybe it is picking meditation back up which I have let go!! lol! My house creaked when I typed that…definitely a sign. 😊lol!
pile 3 -- I swear this woman always manages to make me tear up, you make me feel so seen lotus and I'm incredibly thankful for you. And yes, I am looking for a therapist I actually looked into it this morning 🤍
Pile 1- resonated entirely. I'm on a path now of releasing codependency and building self sufficiency and self worth. Past experiences with SA and narc abuse.. even my 12h Cancer sun..
Your really amazing bless u. Pile 2 . Will we end up being together I’m drawn to him as a person I feel we are so compatible I hope it works out and he comes back for me unconditionally once I accept my selft first 🙏
Pile 2. Our energies meshed into each pile. My person was the one who placed me on a pedestal because of my options. You're correct about my childhood wounds. I have alot of sexual trauma and need sacral chakra healing. I think im pile 2 within pile 2. Resonates
I was drawn to pile 2 and pile 1 but pile 2 felt immediately stronger. Im in the middle of filing for divorce from the person you described in the reading. I am currently working with my inner child and finding safety in myself. She was my puzzle piece and there was a toooon of codependency in our marriage and relationship. That relationship ending really made me see how much I lost myself trying to be what she needed. It resonates more deeply than any reading ive ever gotten. Thank you for this, because she has been crossing my mind, as far as repairing our friendship. We were best friends before we dated. We were together for 11 years and even though i am not in love with her anymore, it is hard to see her with someone else. And she is at a distance, she moved to LA when we split. I live in UT. We are in no contact and i think i needed to see this so that i dont try to rekindle any hope of friendship between us.
Pile 1. Wow. It was both amazing and disconcerting to hear my ex and our marriage described so accurately right down to the cheating in plain sight, gaslighting about it, and trying to push for more people in our relationship. Umm...thank you? In all honesty. Thank you for giving me some hope. From your lips to the Universes ears. I pray this comes to pass. ❤🙏🙏❤
I’m diving into this reading with an open mind, heart and spirit. Today is my 6 years clean and sober birthday 🥳8-14-18🎉 Having a hard time sleeping and was excited to see this reading! Thank you for so your love and energy and time! ✌🏼🫶🏼✨
I got goosebumps and broke out in a cold sweat. Legit just said to myself today.. why am I thinking about him so heavily??? Wtf is happening? And then you said Marc retro… makes sense 🙃 you’re right though. Thank you I needed to hear what you said even if I dont want to accept it. You’re always the best!! ❤
Wow… I commented before listening to the rest of the video.. and just wow. Your reading (pile 2) was so.. personal. How do you do that… I’m honestly flabbergasted at this reading. It hit hard and although I’d love to be angry at you, your honesty helped me release some anger and opened my eyes up a little more. You are truly gifted. I hope the universe blesses you in the best ways possible. Thank you!
I was drawn to pile 1 also, pile 1 resonates deeply too, but about a different person. We were never romantic, but she very much was obsessed with me and i cut her completely out of my life a couple months ago and ive been told my multiple people that shes an energy vampire of epic proportions. Super calculating, pretends to be a good person. Im one of the very few people that saw the scary side of her. She reached out to my sister recently and told her that her mom died to try and get me to break no contact. I found out it was a lie. Crazy how much this resonates and it wasnt romantic or sexual at all. We were best friends for years and years, but she was very possessive, and i was really the only person she showed that dark side to. Shes definitely scary and i wont be allowing her back into my life. Ever. Shes one ive had cross my mind too during this retrograde and i really needed to hear this message. ♥️
Pile 3 ~ wow I’m so surprised how much resonated !! The person I came to mind with was only a situationship, I thought he was my twin flame as the way our connection flowed was so soulful 😔 we both said we wanted more, and both tried for more. I pushed him away the first time and then he ghosted me the second time, we’ve been separated for a month now and I found out he blocked me on all socials 3 days ago, I’m realising it’s time to just move on. He’s not healing for me and I’m not waiting for him. I had a very, very big crush on him. I had a SP manifestation list and he was EVERY.SINGLE.THING on the list and he added a bunch of things I didn’t know I wanted, I want him so damn much but thank you 😢 this reading. I need to let go, my biggest wound is ‘I’m not good enough’ I had a lot of bullying in school and so much abandonment. He had blonde hair and I have green eyes, he’s a cancer and I’m Taurus. I’ll continue opening up and waiting for someone new to sweep me off my feet 💖
Pile 3 🤍 chills. Definitely always wanted my mom’s approval and never got it, I was the one she wanted to be her beautiful “normal” daughter. Got bullied constantly growing up. Have always been told I have an interesting or strange beauty. Never really liked that compliment lol, but I do do my makeup very sultry, and people comment on my brown eyes a lot, that they have intensity.
I felt so drawn to 1, I’m a pisces sun with a lot of 12 house placements, all of my anxiety and a lot of issues WERE because of my spiritual gifts that I wasn’t aware of, that and CPTSD. Black moon Lilith in Gemini… I’m super connected to the Empress Tarot card. 5 is one of my favorite numbers and I have a Taurus stellium in the 5th house. We haven’t even started in the reading and I’m getting called out. My poetry and my lyrics kept me going throughout all my life. I haven’t started making music because I didn’t think I could do it but this was definitely the confirmation I needed to go forward with that. BIG emotions lol but they’re my favorite part of myself, because I’d rather let myself express it than suppress it. I’ve learned that lesson. THE ELSA COMPARISON 😭. This is so for me this is scary. I’m a projector! I grew up in a really dark space, so I definitely took some of that on and didn’t realize that a joyful light energy was my natural energy because I had been so suppressed. My intuition would be going crazy and I thought it was on me, thought I was being dramatic, and crazy. The gaslighting from my parents, my friends, my ex’s… Thankfully I don’t resonate with the competing parents, I was never allowed to do those things even though I really really wanted to. When I was really little they would make me sing to my family and random people that would come over and it made me so uncomfortable so I got really shy too, so 🫠. Alcoholic parent though yeahhhh. Jealous because he gave me a better life than he had. I normally don’t leave comments like this but this is just SO loud. I grew up WAY to fast, people always expected me to be mature and grown, so I either spent my time caring for others, dealing with heavy stuff, or talking to my imaginary friends and playing in my dream land. I was actually told multiple times that I was selfish, for little silly things, but it became such a huge fear because I didn’t want to be selfish. So so far the energy check checks out !
My last relationship…. Yeah. She charms everyoneeeee, selling dreams, gaslighting, false promises, I really didn’t want to see her like that at all so that’s why I ignored it so much. I think she definitely just had some major negative attachments, because it’s easier to look at it like that than to think that she just in general was that nasty. I saw it. I just didn’t believe myself. I didn’t want it to be true. AND YEAH. I realized if anything I was being hypocritical wanting to “save” her, when I was so weirded out with the way she made it seem like she was saving me. My self esteem was in piecessssss. 3rd party situation lol. Everything I liked about her was just a reflection of me yup. The pretender was one of the songs I listened to to get me through it lol. Everyone trusts her everyone love her I seriously thought it was a me problem. Exactly exactlyyyyyy. She’d be so over giving to other people but then complain about it and it would leave me in SHOCK like? You just made that person feel like you were in their corner and now you’re going to talk about how much you hate them?? I couldn’t trust her. I couldn’ttttt. Always a situationship, I was very confused with what it actually was. She was always twisting things. Wow. Thinking with her fun bits I’m wheezing 😭. Yeah. This is so loud. My sisters are friends with her still lol it’s ridiculous. Definitely hurts but man… I know I’m meant for something better.
If I didn't explain my relationship to pile 3, I wouldn't be fair, honest, transparent. Let me complete this trilogy: our relationship was never consummated physically. It was always intellectual with the premise of not now, but in the future (really, really in the future to the point of my interpreting it as never). It was about shapeshifting. It was about collecting creative energy, although Ive almost completely given up on creating anything at all. I think I have lost all hope. It is - what is the point of any of this? Ive never felt about anyone the way that I feel/felt about him. But he is crazy. And deep within myself I worry about what that means for me. If you attract something, it is what you are. The sacral chakra, the nightingale, and scorpio were in all three readings. Music was a big part of our connection. I made him playlists for his birthday. I went old school, and made him physical copies. Music is so important, but I don't share it because I have been so bullied. You were right about that. I repress myself out of safety because Ive always been very emotional. Thats been beneficial for everyone else in my life. I handle their emotions for them. its part of an ongoing theme- emotions are bad, so people try to shame me out of feeling. Im glad you mentioned Mercury in Pisces when it came up in Gemini. I have a lot of Pisces, a lot of Scorpio, but my sun is in Aries. It's such a weird dynamic. Aries wants to go, go, go, and Pisces wants to go slow, slow, slow. So, yeah, I intimidate myself, and then I get angry with myself because I can't meet my own standards. That index card- I don't know how to love you- I could be talking to myself.
Ok. I didn't pick pile 1 exclusively. I felt very certain that all three piles would be important to me. Pile 1 is the worst of it. Pile two is also correct. I am still looking back at them, hoping somehow I can make it work. I am holding up my own healing by looking for this person. Part of me is too afraid to let them go. But part of me also knows that he is my mother. My whole freaking life Ive been trying to do anything and everything to make that woman love me, at the expense of myself, of who I am, and what I want and need. She still doesn't see me. not at all. There is no me with her. There is no me with this man. I have to choose me. I want to, but Im not even sure how to do that. It's so important that you are saying this exactly this way. Thank you. For real. Keep shaking people awake. It's so necessary.
Pile 1 here… you nailed it… we were never married or had kids however we were an 17 year on again off again situationship… we’re both the year of the rat… only he’s 12 years older than I. He groomed me and there was definite narcissistic abuse… I am neuro spicy… also he was a Virgo and my Venus is in Virgo Lots more resonated… I won’t go into more details Thank you for the reading. I hope that I can heal enough ie be good enough for future love but every time I try… I get very disappointed and exhausted so I take longer and longer breaks from dating… I know that romantic love is not supposed to be the end all be all of love… I wanted it so badly though and I don’t have a lot of hope or faith that I will ever find a romantic love partnership… I’m old lol and I am aware people do find love later in life but I… just… don’t think and even though I fantasize about being in a healthy, loving, passionate, romantic, partnership… I also just dont think I’ll find it due to certain physical (both body and 3D) factors
P1. You pretty much called Me out and all of my different diagnoses etc. Emparh , cptsd, aid adhd, the various abuse etc. my mom was the narcissist, family friends targeted me etc and I have come to terms with a lot of it and think I’m fairly healed. I’ve embraced the overthinking and make it work for me
Pile 1 Thank you Beautiful for this healing reading. I’ve overcome so much and have been reflecting as this person’s energy has been trying to realign. Narcissistic Pisces year of the rat. Recently expressed they still love me and asked my assistance on how to heal. The wounded child seeking their favorite toy for comfort.. my inner child screamed fvck you in the kindest way💚 fortunately I birthed my favorite blessing from that situation so hey, a win is a win 😭✨
Yes! They often trigger my own traumatic experiences, but I’m grateful for them all the same. They’re healing me, and hopefully are for you all too. I’m sending you lots of love! 💛
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
🕚TIMESTAMPS🕝
Intro: (0:00)
Pile Selection: (0:21)
Pile 1 🖤(Snowflake Obsidian)🖤**TRIGGER WARNING: NARCISSISTIC ABUSE/SA IS MENTIONED HEAVILY IN THIS PILE: (06:32)
Pile 2 🩵(Blue Calcite)🩵 (01:40:28)
Pile 3 💜(Ametrine)💜 (03:01:01)
🔮PERSONAL READINGS🔮
Are CLOSED! I'll let you know when/if they're open again. :)
📚EXTENDED READINGS📚
**Pile One Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998024671
**Pile Two Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998026870
**Pile Three Extended Reading**: vimeo.com/998028005
📔READING BREAKDOWN📔
1. Energy Check/Tarot - You VS Your Ex - What Wisdom You Can Harvest & Let Go
2. Energy Check 2/Tarot - You VS Your NEXT Love Interest - Where Your Love Life Is Heading & Who You're Moving Toward
Anytime during this mercy retrograde that I long for my ex, I just repeat to myself “it’s mercury retrograde” 💀
Like a litmus test.
Pile number 3, Hi fellow Pile 3, I too was in this state of self sabotage always pulling myself away from relationships and stuff like. My parents sold me off for money, so self worth wounds ran deep. I'm not completely out of this energy yet but let me tell you what I did till now. I hope someone in the community watches this and finds some solace. Please try to find as much as good and emotionally available people who can help you nurture yourself. Be there for them as they are with you. I know its hard to get over that worthiness and life unnecessary at times but trust me there's a way out. I hope you do good in life, befriend the right kind of people and surround yourself with them. You don't need to isolate yourself anymore due to your "supposed" shortcomings cause trust me when you find the right kind of people and support, all of these pressure to look a certain way to hold upto societal norms will melt away. I trust you with that. Please take care of yourself. Don't wallow in your emotions and let those emotions take more space in your life than they are required to. I'm rooting for you all. Take care of yourself. Bye ❤
Pile 2: When you have abandonment wounds you will keep trying to rescue/fix them and there’s a sense that if they finally choose you and stay with you then you are someone worthy and lovable! We/you are always worthy and lovable! Learn about the father wound and how to reparent yourself! I’m sending you so much love that your own love will come pouring out of you and fill your own cup! You can do this! We can do this! ❤
Thank you. 🩷🖤🩷 I needed to read this right now. Resonated so much. Even though I chose a different pile needed this brief message too. Thank you 🩷🖤🩷
@@pearl5016 sending you love! ❤️
Pile 3: I've never cried so much during the first 20 minutes of a reading. When you talked about my family and how much they've wronged me and then said I was "a gem of a human being" and that you were sorry they treated me this way I was just bawling the whole time. I felt so seen. And you're right, it definitely has played a large role in my relationships, they were all very short. I thought I might as well end it before they end it. I'm broken, who can love someone as broken as me? I've worked so much to fill the cracks with gold and make myself more valuable. I think I'm ready for a relationship now, but my trauma still makes me think that it's impossible for someone to love me and that they'll reject me like everyone in my family has and I don't want to self sabotage.
Pile 2! This had all happened back in 2022 but I was having some flashbacks and wanted some further help on this subject! I am in a much better place and you said a lot of the things I was going through back then, I honestly don’t want this person back and im excited I did choose myself! He tried to come back around 2023 and I completely shut it down and didn’t show him any attention. Now I’m still healing my wounds around love but I see the growth honestly, I remember at the time I just wanted to jump to where I am now but I see I wouldn’t be here without the things I had to go through. Now I’m a strong woman with a strong voice and I’m learning everyday what choosing myself looks like!
Pile 2 - this was crazy spot on, it’s not even funny, I cried multiple times throughout the reading and I really needed to hear all of that, even the most uncomfortable moments, but I think it really helped me confirm and connect with what I was already feeling. Interesting enough, I’ve been seeing 33 everywhere, to the point where it’s been getting frustrating to seeing it everywhere I go, but as you’ve said, it’s my spiritual team sending me signs and support in this rebirth. Thank you for your time and reading, it was the most important reading I’ve heard in a while ❤
Pile 1. ITS CRAZY HOW it’s resonates
We were married we have a child
There was abuse
And making me feel I was too much and that I made him be like this
He was so good at pretending
I didn’t know he was actually a narcissist until I got out and got divorce one month ago and realized it.
He has his sun at Virgo
and he changed me so much till I couldn’t recognize myself and I forgot my voice
and I used to play guitar and once I started to wanna play again we went in argument and he broke my guitar
and their moon is also in cancer
He made me depressed in the first year of marriage and the therapist I went told me that he has to come and we gonna make it into a marriage counseling and he refused to come and that there’s nothing wrong with him and god knows what I told about the therapist about him,
And he always used to come back promising he’d change and that he’s gonna get help and never did, and I actually started to realize his games and manipulation and he knew I know now
His is actually attractive
And he definitely had childhood trauma there was abuse in his house hold
and he never knew how to love and I always believed in some good in him as you said.but not anymore
I couldn’t see myself more clear and safe and healing everyday being away from him and this actually made it even more clear such a good timing I actually cried while watching this. the timing is so good thank you.
The hardest part in this is that he’s the father of my child and that I can’t just delete him out of my life for good but I know and learning more about how to protect myself and my energy
+ first time commenting in a reading I just had to
and to anyone else lived the same things
believe me ! It gets better once you choose yourself once you know how much love you deserve and that none of this was your fault ever.
Pile 1 - I have never felt so validated in my life. Thank you, truly.
Pile 1, literally the truest and most incredible reading I've ever had!
pile #2 I really cried during this reading thank you so much for helping me thank you so much for all your beautiful kind energy really appreciated. I really needed a friend ♥️
Still watching, but omg, pile 2 is INSANE. Thank you so much
Pile 1!! Took me a while i got out an i never ever look back i really feel better an free an i wanna say to all who are still in the situation i send u so much ❤️ u are way stronger then u realise, and once ur free thats it u really do feel better just affirm ur power back iv been affirming all my power back an now im so so much happier!! Believe in yourselves people!! U have complete control!! I had kids in this too so yes please be brave an strong they want to take every last bit of happiness from you until u become numb,lifeless an feel like the biggest failer.. an wow the sexual bit got me i couldnt really admit this properly to me even doctors tried to help but this triggered me an feeling u read this with the heart you have is beautifull!! Just thank you, he used it as i dont love him if i dnt do certain things an really tried to expose me alot but yeh i was done i took my power an ran far far away!!! We are smarter because u realise u can do better u can get out an can fix yourself to be even stronger with awareness !!! Thank you so much for this reading ❤️ your support ❤️ I am empowered!!! ❤
Pile 2! When I say my jaw was on the floor through most of it. I have never in my life had such an accurate reading, may as well have been a personal read! Even the Avatar references! Was tearing up through most of it , I’m actually in shock but by god did I need to hear this . What a special reader you are. Truly thank you! 🙏🏻💛
Chose pile 3 and yes I experienced bullying from childhood through early Highschool. I met this person last year he's a Scorpio and it pains me a lot that he ghosted me thinking that maybe I'm that ugly to left me out in the cold that easily. I'm also suffering from acne so it is difficult for me to look at the mirror (I don't) the trauma and insecurities are there because I was judged based on the way I look. Thank you for this reading I'm literally crying hearing this message. My mom is a bit passive sometimes I don't know if she's really listening or she was physically there but not paying attention; my dad is very nonchalant; they support me financially especially when it comes to my education but they lack emotional and mental support. There are times that I wish that I would just vanish from the phase of the earth and be in another planet that I can call my own space. I literally don't know where to go next..I just don't I cannot see it as of now; but its true that I have a gift when it comes to astral travel and tarot reading; Thank you again I REALLY NEED THIS 😭❣
20 minutes into P3 and 🥹. U are telling so much of my earlier years. 😮💨. Taking a break to check in with self ‘ cause u just called my name. Ty. This is Good already-no where near done. Ty. Thank you. 🙏🏾
Pile 1. It was like a personal reading. I am autistic and was a child prodigy with writing and playing music. My mom used it to make her look good. I ended up hating music because I had to do it for her. My past with she as a narcissist has attracted many more into my life. Lots of darkness and pain and confusion. Thank you for helping me understand my life path so much better.. 🙏🏼
This is my first time watching your videos. I chose Pile 1 and boy did it feel like a personal reading. I just broke up with my ex less than a week ago and he was literally everything that you describe. The narcissist, the lies, the blame shifting and the gaslighting. It really got to a point where I could not take it anymore. My therapist has been talking a lot about reclaiming my voice and it was amazing that even you mentioned it. Thank you for this reading
Pile 2. You made me cry and it was so on point. I am an ENFJ with a libra moon. I am ashamed of my negative feelings and a people pleaser. Thank you so much for this reading. It was worth 10 therapy sessions.
Chose 3!! Happy to see that you uploaded today 🫶🏻😛
Pile 3: reading me for absolute filth. Could have easily been a personal reading. Incredible.
Thank you so much for Pile 3. Appreciate your kind words
💖WE CANT COME ON HERE to want to KNOW, WITHOUT HAVING TO LEARN .💫 please don't allow yourselves to be triggered. I personally found this to be delightful and also laughed when she flipped that bear card the more she breaks these situations down the more I want to explore. Whether it resonates or not I love her method of reading, very beautiful & compassionate 💕
GodBlessYou and your gift thank you for teaching & enlightening us.🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I love ur energy and readings sm! tysm for taking the time to give us lengthy readings like this, they always fill me w hope and are so spot on! keep being u
Incredible reading! It's literally the best and most accurate reading I've ever heard!
Thank you for taking so much time to offer these readings. x
Pile #2, read is impressive and delivered many morsels of good insights. Thank you!
Pile 3 hit hard this time.. so much was correct. I'm a bit worried now.
I always thought that I would be worthy of love when I'm thinner, prettier and smarter. If not that at least with stronger talent. I'm Aries sun and moon, Scorpio rising, and infj..
Pile 1 so many confirmations and I was praying for this reading - especially since mercury in Retrograde has been bringing things up💜💜thank you so much for this reading.
Pile 3, we have never met nor talked & it’s a rare instance I commented under your videos. How did you know I struggled with my femininity as a trans man & enjoyed fashion? Fashion has helped me embrace it, & I have deep issues with family & even other trans people on accepting me as a man / masculine. I do need to slow down. Very, very accurate, thank you Lotus. 🩵
You inspire me to take the leap of faith and go forward to do what I feel needs to be done. Thank you for bringing through what I feel to be right. ❤
Perfect timing!! Seeing an ex next month that I thought was the Counterpart, but was actually the Initiator ✨ Grateful that relationship was blocked from manifesting to more, and extra grateful for the many reminders of this before seeing him for the first time in over 2 years! Love how timing works 🙌
This was just the most fabulous reading ever, pile 1, was so intense, but actually so validating and honouring of the journey and therefore so very healing to receive. Thank you thank you thank you, from my heart sincerely 🙏✨❤️
Pile 3: I’m not gonna lie I’ve screamed “LADY WHO ARE YOU?????” More than 10 times… I even looked over my shoulder, a couple of times,this might be the best reading I’ve ever gotten…
really lovely extended, as always 💌 sending you all the love you give out to us TIMES 10!!
Pile 1 and I am amazed both by your gifts and my intuition that I picked up the correct pile, definitely needed this. Thanks love :')
Lotus! I haven’t been doing relationship readings because I swore off relationships until I closed in my new house which is going to be this coming Friday - and here is the perfect reading for this next stage of my life :) Pile 1 here and you completely nailed my family dynamic and the ex - the fact that you mentioned 13 years is wild to me because while we broke up seven years in, it took me another six years to heal and break free for a grand total of lucky number 13 💜 can’t wait to check out the extended!
Pile 1 - I don't normally comment on these, but I just had to say thank you. I did slam the door a month ago. It's been one year to this day that I asked for a divorce and I'm seeing this video during a thunderstorm. Gotta love divine timing. But yeah, thank you. I have been loving a lot of your videos lately, but this one saw me on a very deep level. I'm glad you chose not to delete it. Many, many blessings to you.
merc merc (a nickname for mercury) got me thinking about settling for the past since my life right now isn’t even 50% great at the moment. one of my closest family members got engaged recently and i have been feeling like im falling behind and i should just settle down already..
im glad this reading exists!
i just subscribed! looking forward to this reading ✨
Pile 1: Thank you for the reminder that I am creative. Transmutation has always been a coping mechanism to liberate myself from the bs of life, and something I've been forgetting. My best friend always tells me I have 'Siren Vibes' (I cant sing and don't typically speak well), so I don't see it, but that part did make me laugh. (Maybe its my Pisces Moon?)
Your insight into the grosser parts of life, fuck, that was spot on. Dad was the issue on all the fronts, my mother was grossly codependent and never left despite the extreme narcissism or abuse. Rather than going to therapy, I ran away to model, got put in a few too many gross situations, and ended up running straight into the arms of a dude with my father's negative traits. We had a kid pretty quickly, and watching her feel the need to step in and defend me was what woke me up to leaving him. (He has some seriously sick....desires/tastes. What he offered was not love, it was abuse. His inner self is literally a DUMB Gaslighting Monster--he didn't believe in rape inside the marriage.) We've been divorced almost 10 years, but I'm still trying to do some shadow work, but going back there is literally nauseating and hard--to be fair, I'd rather escape from it. My daughter comes back from visiting him in the summer, and he has the audacity to say shit to her like, "Its hard to look at you (or spend time with you), because you look so much like your mother." He's been married and divorced since, and his exes keep reaching out looking for other people who understand the trauma he delivers. (We've essentially created a support group, and reach out any time we get triggered.)
I love all the protection you offer in this. Thank you for reassuring me the bullshit was real, and not in my head. Your outrage somehow makes me feel that much more validated, so again, thank you. I swear, I end up over sharing in your comments more than anywhere else. Thank you for the space.
Everytime mercury retrograde approaches I always feel a unexplainable pull towards my past connections yet finding this reading at the exact time I was spiraling into self doubt really helped me understand to receive new beginnings you have to let go of the old patterns thank you 🤍
Why am I always in the Kate Winslet's "Holiday" pile 😭 it's like you're trying to tell me something.... haha
I actually watched that movie after she mentioned it in another reading and it was so relatable🥲
aaaand you've done it again - pile 3 on point (and yes, for me, it was not about one person). thank you! 🥲💖
Genuinely thank you for Pile 1 🎯❤️🙏🏼❤️
Your timing is incredible!!!! Thank you, goddess!!! Diving in now !!!
Pile 2.. so so accurate. Thank you for confirming my intuition! You’re amazing at what you do ❤❤
Hey Lotus, I'm glad you're back uploading pick a card readings again! I haven't been watching you for a while, and when I decided to come back so are you! I was in pile 3, and yeah, the romantic connection was never really real, it had only been in my mind this whole time. But the good news is, I am finally deciding to move on, to focus on myself in full force! I said goodbye to her, even being friends was too much, which really sucked, but that felt like the right thing to do.
Pile 3 totally brought up a man I wanted so bad 5 years ago. I would say I’m over him but the aftermath of that “connection” was devastating. It tore so deep into my core wounds. He strung me along for two years and took advantage of me in some gnarly ways. He was 10 years older than me, an amazing/successful artist, filmmaker, photographer. I never felt good enough for him. We were intimate twice but it never went anywhere and shortly after I cut him out of my life, he got engaged to a beautiful, cool yoga teacher girl who’s also a photographer. I needed this message, I dreamt of him a week or so ago.
Pile 2…slightly “ouch” in places but thank you 🙏🏼, you are extremely helpful and validating my intuition is most definitely getting stronger by the day x thanks also, for the heads up of the pending dark night, my new chapter awaits and it’s a big one 💪
Thank you so much for your time, compassion, and intuitive insight 🌞💟💖💚🧡💟 Wish you a beautiful week 🪷🦋🧘🏻♀️🌻🌈
Pile 3 thank you so much❤❤yes it was a situationship and never got off the ground
Pile 1 … blew me away felt such a personal reading Thankyou for your kind words ❤
Pile 1 🧞♂️ looking forward for what the future has to offer and im grateful that im no longer stuck with past people 💖 thank you sweets for the reading i love you much 😊
Sorry to spam I just wanted to comment on your accuracy. You're so right. Pile 2 resonated heavy ❤ thank you for all that you do! This was confirmation of the direction I've been heading in. The more I release, the more powerful I feel. It comes in waves
I'm so happy that it resonated for you! There was some powerful release and transformative energy coming through in that pile. I'm glad that you're alchemizing things right now; I can't wait to see you on the other side of this shift!
I'm a little halfway through the reading, I think I just needed confirmation because I had always been gaslighting myself due to my traumas. Yes, he was abusive, and I'm glad we're holding him accountable in this reading. Pile 1.
As a pile 2, I appreciate you, but I also was arguing with you the entire time. 🤣 it's okay. I needed it though
#2 much needed, thank you!
I love your readings so much. Thank you for being the kind of reader you are and showing up.✨️🩷🖤🩷✨️🌙 so much love to you.
Pile 3: thank you for getting angry on our behalf. Currently ignoring him and I had to call out loud last night “you are not welcome in my energy. Leave me alone.” Just so I could have peace. It’s been easier since then. Thank you for the validation and love.
Oh, my, pile #2 I have faith that things are falling into place
Like #22 ❤ I have been seeing 2s a lot lately. I believe it’s my spiritual support letting me know that they’re here. 🥰
It seems that I always get the model Pile. I was asked a few times if I model and was advised to do pageant when I was young but never even thought of myself this way and feel very insecure about my looks... When it comes to my creativity, you are so spot on I am meant to be seen but I am hiding big time and as you said, I have met many people who are in the public eye, 2 of my exes are also.
You are the real deal Taylor!
Pile3😊❤
Pile 1- my God, you were so very accurate for me. Thank you.
Pile #1 Absolutely Resonates & I've been threw hell with this person, thank you for the guidance & light 🙏
Wooo girl you read me to *absolute* FILTH in pile 2😭😭it literally felt like a personal reading. Your video came up as the first rec when I randomly thought about my person and asked spirit for a reading on him💀💀they've had enough
Soo 😂.... Pile 2
I wanna say a BIG thanku to you because...
The message my guides have been sending to me about this which I had been ignoring completely cause it's triggered me in past!!.. I didn't really accept it fully at that point of time..
But when you upload the last reading of divine M & F one.. To go seperate ways...
I truly listen to you ,somehow it's triggers to me BUT I LISTEN TO YOU..
It's feel like your energy will always says the truth to me & for my own good..
So THANKU THANKU SO MUCH FOR JUST EXISTING & THESE MESSAGES..
I truly TREASURE YOU ✨🦚
I just want to say I love your readings so much. I know you muted comments on some of the prior ones and I’m sorry if you dealt with a holes. Keep doing what you’re doing!!!
Pile 3… you’ve done it again! You’re right on point with this entire reading. I was never in a physical actual relationship with him but spiritually, I might as well would’ve been married to him. Sounds crazy unless you’re a spiritual person and can understand what I’m trying to say but that’s how intense everything was for me. I fell soooo deep for him but I always felt like I wasn’t good enough for him and he never gave me the time of day neither so it stayed as a horrible crush that was very one sided. I guess limerence? So yeah, it’s been a nightmare for me for many many years. As far as the childhood portion, you got it down-pact as well… I was bullied terribly by my family and at times socially. My mother was basically like a step mother with how she treated me so I grew up feeling very unloved and unrelated to my family overall. This whole experience broke me beyond what I could put into words.
I picked pile 1. And quickly, the details sounded correct. But I thought taurus is not in my fifth house. So, I looked it up- and indeed, taurus IS in my fifth house. That was the only time I laughed during this reading. Because everything you said is true. Ive sort of accepted that my job has always been to deal with other people and their emotions. It started very young. I remember receiving the most grown up award in the 4th grade. This is not actually a compliment. Thats also when I started having panic attacks, though I had no idea what was happening. Ive spent my entire life being what other people needed me to be because I didn't want anyone to feel as badly as I did. And this ex you were talking about, never made it to ex because he never let me be anything to him. I wasn't good enough to be with. He devalued me almost immediately while bragging about his other conquests. He wanted me to compete for him. To prove myself worthy of him. And in this process, I started to see that he was every relationship I had in my life, because ultimately, he was my mother. My mother actually hates me, but every person I have ever met has loved her. She competes with me constantly; my successes are really her successes; there is no ME in any of this. So, this man, burned down my life. I can't look away from all the people that have been using what I offer them in love. Now, I see that I have to be more careful. Boundaries are important. Self-respect is important.
Anyway, I want to thank you. I cried through this whole thing, but its because no one every believes me when I tell them about a particular person. Everyone always dismisses me. It's like they can't see it. So, I get labelled crazy. I have always been very sensitive about being called crazy. And right now, he said something- I know this because people have stopped talking to me. Thats probably for the best. These aren't my people. Blocking him was so hard. It hurts me even now. But ultimately, Im going to take this lesson and run. I feel very strongly that there is somewhere I am supposed to be. I don't know where that is, but it's not here. Not anymore.
Pile 2 - Phew. Oh my god. I needed this reading so bad. We’ve been non-contact for a while and he has a new girlfriend that he’s moved in with but yes I am still hanging on just waiting to hear from him. It’s so sad and yes I’m only giving a fraction of myself to myself because of it. ❤😢 Thank you for the wake up call! I know what I need to do - and maybe it is picking meditation back up which I have let go!! lol! My house creaked when I typed that…definitely a sign. 😊lol!
pile 3 -- I swear this woman always manages to make me tear up, you make me feel so seen lotus and I'm incredibly thankful for you. And yes, I am looking for a therapist I actually looked into it this morning 🤍
Pile 1- resonated entirely. I'm on a path now of releasing codependency and building self sufficiency and self worth. Past experiences with SA and narc abuse.. even my 12h Cancer sun..
Your really amazing bless u. Pile 2 . Will we end up being together I’m drawn to him as a person I feel we are so compatible I hope it works out and he comes back for me unconditionally once I accept my selft first 🙏
Pile 2. Our energies meshed into each pile. My person was the one who placed me on a pedestal because of my options.
You're correct about my childhood wounds. I have alot of sexual trauma and need sacral chakra healing. I think im pile 2 within pile 2. Resonates
I was drawn to pile 2 and pile 1 but pile 2 felt immediately stronger. Im in the middle of filing for divorce from the person you described in the reading. I am currently working with my inner child and finding safety in myself. She was my puzzle piece and there was a toooon of codependency in our marriage and relationship. That relationship ending really made me see how much I lost myself trying to be what she needed. It resonates more deeply than any reading ive ever gotten. Thank you for this, because she has been crossing my mind, as far as repairing our friendship. We were best friends before we dated. We were together for 11 years and even though i am not in love with her anymore, it is hard to see her with someone else. And she is at a distance, she moved to LA when we split. I live in UT. We are in no contact and i think i needed to see this so that i dont try to rekindle any hope of friendship between us.
Pile 1. Wow. It was both amazing and disconcerting to hear my ex and our marriage described so accurately right down to the cheating in plain sight, gaslighting about it, and trying to push for more people in our relationship. Umm...thank you? In all honesty. Thank you for giving me some hope. From your lips to the Universes ears. I pray this comes to pass. ❤🙏🙏❤
Pile 2: Spirit wants to give you what you deserve
Spirit; sends a cat
I’m diving into this reading with an open mind, heart and spirit.
Today is my 6 years clean and sober birthday
🥳8-14-18🎉
Having a hard time sleeping and was excited to see this reading! Thank you for so your love and energy and time!
✌🏼🫶🏼✨
Congratulations on your 6 year birthday! 🎂 🎉Best wishes❤
@@Bluesagebrush22
Thank you 🫶🏼🥰✨
I got goosebumps and broke out in a cold sweat. Legit just said to myself today.. why am I thinking about him so heavily??? Wtf is happening? And then you said Marc retro… makes sense 🙃 you’re right though. Thank you I needed to hear what you said even if I dont want to accept it. You’re always the best!! ❤
Wow… I commented before listening to the rest of the video.. and just wow. Your reading (pile 2) was so.. personal. How do you do that… I’m honestly flabbergasted at this reading. It hit hard and although I’d love to be angry at you, your honesty helped me release some anger and opened my eyes up a little more. You are truly gifted. I hope the universe blesses you in the best ways possible. Thank you!
Yes to everything in pile 3😌🌹
I was drawn to pile 1 also, pile 1 resonates deeply too, but about a different person. We were never romantic, but she very much was obsessed with me and i cut her completely out of my life a couple months ago and ive been told my multiple people that shes an energy vampire of epic proportions. Super calculating, pretends to be a good person. Im one of the very few people that saw the scary side of her. She reached out to my sister recently and told her that her mom died to try and get me to break no contact. I found out it was a lie. Crazy how much this resonates and it wasnt romantic or sexual at all. We were best friends for years and years, but she was very possessive, and i was really the only person she showed that dark side to. Shes definitely scary and i wont be allowing her back into my life. Ever. Shes one ive had cross my mind too during this retrograde and i really needed to hear this message. ♥️
Pile 3 ~ wow I’m so surprised how much resonated !! The person I came to mind with was only a situationship, I thought he was my twin flame as the way our connection flowed was so soulful 😔 we both said we wanted more, and both tried for more. I pushed him away the first time and then he ghosted me the second time, we’ve been separated for a month now and I found out he blocked me on all socials 3 days ago, I’m realising it’s time to just move on. He’s not healing for me and I’m not waiting for him. I had a very, very big crush on him. I had a SP manifestation list and he was EVERY.SINGLE.THING on the list and he added a bunch of things I didn’t know I wanted, I want him so damn much but thank you 😢 this reading. I need to let go, my biggest wound is ‘I’m not good enough’ I had a lot of bullying in school and so much abandonment. He had blonde hair and I have green eyes, he’s a cancer and I’m Taurus. I’ll continue opening up and waiting for someone new to sweep me off my feet 💖
Pile 3 🤍 chills. Definitely always wanted my mom’s approval and never got it, I was the one she wanted to be her beautiful “normal” daughter. Got bullied constantly growing up. Have always been told I have an interesting or strange beauty. Never really liked that compliment lol, but I do do my makeup very sultry, and people comment on my brown eyes a lot, that they have intensity.
They do have avoidance tendencies. I walked away because I didn't feel fulfilled and broke things off.
It was almost spot on! Thank you😢
Pile 1, and hugs to other Pile 1. ❤️
Love your readings. You are great, really!
Dang… pile 3 only a few minutes in and already touched on Pisces, bullied as a child, and I lost my mother at a young age…😢
I felt so drawn to 1, I’m a pisces sun with a lot of 12 house placements, all of my anxiety and a lot of issues WERE because of my spiritual gifts that I wasn’t aware of, that and CPTSD. Black moon Lilith in Gemini… I’m super connected to the Empress Tarot card. 5 is one of my favorite numbers and I have a Taurus stellium in the 5th house. We haven’t even started in the reading and I’m getting called out. My poetry and my lyrics kept me going throughout all my life. I haven’t started making music because I didn’t think I could do it but this was definitely the confirmation I needed to go forward with that. BIG emotions lol but they’re my favorite part of myself, because I’d rather let myself express it than suppress it. I’ve learned that lesson. THE ELSA COMPARISON 😭. This is so for me this is scary. I’m a projector! I grew up in a really dark space, so I definitely took some of that on and didn’t realize that a joyful light energy was my natural energy because I had been so suppressed. My intuition would be going crazy and I thought it was on me, thought I was being dramatic, and crazy. The gaslighting from my parents, my friends, my ex’s…
Thankfully I don’t resonate with the competing parents, I was never allowed to do those things even though I really really wanted to. When I was really little they would make me sing to my family and random people that would come over and it made me so uncomfortable so I got really shy too, so 🫠. Alcoholic parent though yeahhhh. Jealous because he gave me a better life than he had. I normally don’t leave comments like this but this is just SO loud. I grew up WAY to fast, people always expected me to be mature and grown, so I either spent my time caring for others, dealing with heavy stuff, or talking to my imaginary friends and playing in my dream land. I was actually told multiple times that I was selfish, for little silly things, but it became such a huge fear because I didn’t want to be selfish.
So so far the energy check checks out !
My last relationship…. Yeah. She charms everyoneeeee, selling dreams, gaslighting, false promises, I really didn’t want to see her like that at all so that’s why I ignored it so much. I think she definitely just had some major negative attachments, because it’s easier to look at it like that than to think that she just in general was that nasty. I saw it. I just didn’t believe myself. I didn’t want it to be true. AND YEAH. I realized if anything I was being hypocritical wanting to “save” her, when I was so weirded out with the way she made it seem like she was saving me. My self esteem was in piecessssss. 3rd party situation lol. Everything I liked about her was just a reflection of me yup. The pretender was one of the songs I listened to to get me through it lol. Everyone trusts her everyone love her I seriously thought it was a me problem. Exactly exactlyyyyyy. She’d be so over giving to other people but then complain about it and it would leave me in SHOCK like? You just made that person feel like you were in their corner and now you’re going to talk about how much you hate them?? I couldn’t trust her. I couldn’ttttt. Always a situationship, I was very confused with what it actually was. She was always twisting things. Wow. Thinking with her fun bits I’m wheezing 😭.
Yeah. This is so loud. My sisters are friends with her still lol it’s ridiculous.
Definitely hurts but man…
I know I’m meant for something better.
Definitely open to the producer soulmate 😌
If I didn't explain my relationship to pile 3, I wouldn't be fair, honest, transparent. Let me complete this trilogy: our relationship was never consummated physically. It was always intellectual with the premise of not now, but in the future (really, really in the future to the point of my interpreting it as never). It was about shapeshifting. It was about collecting creative energy, although Ive almost completely given up on creating anything at all. I think I have lost all hope. It is - what is the point of any of this? Ive never felt about anyone the way that I feel/felt about him. But he is crazy. And deep within myself I worry about what that means for me. If you attract something, it is what you are.
The sacral chakra, the nightingale, and scorpio were in all three readings. Music was a big part of our connection. I made him playlists for his birthday. I went old school, and made him physical copies. Music is so important, but I don't share it because I have been so bullied. You were right about that. I repress myself out of safety because Ive always been very emotional. Thats been beneficial for everyone else in my life. I handle their emotions for them. its part of an ongoing theme- emotions are bad, so people try to shame me out of feeling.
Im glad you mentioned Mercury in Pisces when it came up in Gemini. I have a lot of Pisces, a lot of Scorpio, but my sun is in Aries. It's such a weird dynamic. Aries wants to go, go, go, and Pisces wants to go slow, slow, slow. So, yeah, I intimidate myself, and then I get angry with myself because I can't meet my own standards. That index card- I don't know how to love you- I could be talking to myself.
Ok. I didn't pick pile 1 exclusively. I felt very certain that all three piles would be important to me. Pile 1 is the worst of it. Pile two is also correct. I am still looking back at them, hoping somehow I can make it work. I am holding up my own healing by looking for this person. Part of me is too afraid to let them go. But part of me also knows that he is my mother. My whole freaking life Ive been trying to do anything and everything to make that woman love me, at the expense of myself, of who I am, and what I want and need. She still doesn't see me. not at all. There is no me with her. There is no me with this man. I have to choose me. I want to, but Im not even sure how to do that. It's so important that you are saying this exactly this way. Thank you. For real. Keep shaking people awake. It's so necessary.
pile 2 yea, I am finally ready to release after 5 years.
Thank you Taylor. Fabulous 🪷🕊️
Pile 1 here… you nailed it… we were never married or had kids however we were an 17 year on again off again situationship… we’re both the year of the rat… only he’s 12 years older than I. He groomed me and there was definite narcissistic abuse…
I am neuro spicy… also he was a Virgo and my Venus is in Virgo
Lots more resonated… I won’t go into more details
Thank you for the reading. I hope that I can heal enough ie be good enough for future love but every time I try… I get very disappointed and exhausted so I take longer and longer breaks from dating…
I know that romantic love is not supposed to be the end all be all of love… I wanted it so badly though and I don’t have a lot of hope or faith that I will ever find a romantic love partnership… I’m old lol and I am aware people do find love later in life but I… just… don’t think and even though I fantasize about being in a healthy, loving, passionate, romantic, partnership… I also just dont think I’ll find it due to certain physical (both body and 3D) factors
P1. You pretty much called
Me out and all of my different diagnoses etc. Emparh , cptsd, aid adhd, the various abuse etc. my mom was the narcissist, family friends targeted me etc and I have come to terms with a lot of it and think I’m fairly healed. I’ve embraced the overthinking and make it work for me
Oh and it was both my mom and dad who lived vicariously through me for the things they wanted.
I’m only sharing so you are validated in how accurate you are. I know what it’s like to struggle with gifts
Pile 1 Thank you Beautiful for this healing reading. I’ve overcome so much and have been reflecting as this person’s energy has been trying to realign. Narcissistic Pisces year of the rat. Recently expressed they still love me and asked my assistance on how to heal. The wounded child seeking their favorite toy for comfort.. my inner child screamed fvck you in the kindest way💚 fortunately I birthed my favorite blessing from that situation so hey, a win is a win 😭✨
Thanks, Taylor~☕️🍎
Pile 3, I run an art collective called Invisible Chicks
watching pile 1 rn: do these traumatic experiences you get through channeling the messages ever affect you after the readings?
Yes! They often trigger my own traumatic experiences, but I’m grateful for them all the same. They’re healing me, and hopefully are for you all too. I’m sending you lots of love! 💛
Related to pile 1
Insane. I am speechless