Signs You're Not Ready For Marriage | Paul Friedman

What are the signs that you're not ready for marriage? Watch Paul give tips for you to properly decide if you're really ready or not.
Bear in mind, I know a lot about people who were not ready for marriage and got married anyway because I used to be a divorce mediator so I was in the divorce business. Then I got into the marriage saving business and honestly, people who are married, I never met anyone who wasn't ready for marriage never but the reason why you're asking is really important to you just the fact that you're asking this you're questioning.
You're questioning maybe is the person who I'm about to marry, the right person. Way back when I was writing my first book I used to write it in Starbucks and this young lady was sitting next to me and she could see me typing away and I was talking to. I used to call him Joe the Baptist. He was the minister of the local Baptist Church, he was the nicest guy and we always got into these great conversations and she overheard us and she said, "I have some questions for you." And Joe said, "Okay, I was just about to go get a cup of coffee Paul. Do you want something?"
She and I started to talk and she was the girlfriend of someone she had been the girlfriend of as long as she could remember. Her parents were friends, they went to school together, they stayed in touch when they went to college and she just wasn't sure whether she should get married so I asked her. "What's the most important thing to you?" I don't remember what she told me but I said, "How does that match up with who your boyfriend is?" And what I mean by what's the most important thing to in a man, "What's the second most important thing?"
I said, "Do this. Go on and create a list. Take your time. Create a list of all the things that are
important to you in a man who you want to spend the rest of your life with and then prioritize that list. This is not going to be anyone who matches everything and then compare your list to his attributes." And she was intrigued by this idea and she sent me an email a couple of months later and thanked me for saving her from marrying this guy who
was a great guy but he just didn't match up with her ideals and you should be marrying someone who matches up with your ideals. If you don't and I'm not talking about like they prefer chocolate or vanilla or whatever I'm talking about some serious things here and if they don't match up you're not going to have a good time.
Some things are more important to other people than other things. For instance, I met one couple where the wife believed in abortion and her husband was adamantly against it and that's a very difficult gap to bridge and I helped them bridge it by making sure that they
wouldn't get pregnant and reminded them that the question as a question could be viewed as a political question not just as a spiritual question because he was very religious so it doesn't have to interfere with how you feel about your wife until if she got pregnant of course but they were mature and they wouldn't so that's one aspect.
Am I ready to get married to the person who just asked me or to the person who I'm quasi thinking about marry because we've been together so long and it's the next step and
should I do it?
There are also people who are truly kind of noble and they go, "I just may not be ready for marriage. I'm not done dating, I'm not done looking around, I'm not done partying, I'm not
done earning money, I'm not done with all these pursuits that I want to pursue. I don't want to have children, I don't want to get married." Well, that's easy then you're not ready to get married and don't and be sure and tell whoever you're dating that that's where you stand. Now, there's one other part about being married that's very important to decide whether you are ready and that is this.
Are you ready to work on a marriage? To develop a marriage, to develop a relationship with someone, to completely open your heart to them, to let them know that they're the most important person in your life, someone you're willing to love unconditionally because that's one of the requirements. It should be a requirement of you for your marriage by you because if you don't learn to love unconditionally, you won't receive the benefits of marriage.
We have a sister organization it's called Premarital Academy and it's very important for you to look at the materials there and I've made everything very inexpensive because you're starting out in a marriage perhaps or you're just dating or you just want to find your
soulmate. You should be doing this right. I don't want to make money a burden or a part of it. I think that covers a lot of ground hopefully, I covered the ground that you are hoping I covered.
#premarital #marriagecompatibility #marriageexpectation #marriageprogram #love #marriagelife

[@TheMarriageFoundation]

Get our free eBook, 'Hidden Secrets of Wedding Vows':
premaritaledu.org/
Learn about our courses:
Prepare for your marriage the right way with our Premarital Education program:
premaritaledu.org/program/
Find your soulmate with our Dating For Marriage program:
premaritaledu.org/dating-for-marriage/
--------------------------
Follow us for updates:
Facebook: facebook.com/TheMarriageFoundation
Twitter: twitter.com/MarriageFdn
Pinterest: pinterest.com/TheMarriageFoundation/

[@Ms_Trii]

Very helpful.

[@selphinechemtai239]

This is helpful