I think it is fair to say that in average the French are culturally colder than others. But part of the apparent coldness is just a form of respect or politeness. You learn from a young age that when you don't know someone, you should tiptoe very carefully around their personal space, and you never, ever ask personal questions (or start talking about yourself) to people you don't already know relatively well. All of these rules exist to avoid creating discomfort and to show that you respect other people's boundaries. Unfortunately it also means that we suck at small talk with strangers ;)
I'm French and the thing I genuinely don't understand is the TikToker's expectation to meet people and even "make friends" in the course of 3-4 days... Why would strangers go out of their way to talk to a solo traveller? In my opinion, she sounds both entitled and delusional (the beret... :X), as if expecting some kind of VIP treatment because she "spent money" - again, why would random people care what she does with her money? Plus nobody would refer as a casual acquaintance as a "friend". For the record, I live in Paris and I do help tourists all the time *when they ask me to*, but it wouldn't cross my mind to talk to a tourist spontaneously, I'd assume they'd want to be left alone :) For context, at my fairly new job, the coworker I share an office with didn't offer to join her and others for lunch until I was there for 2.5 months, and even then she said "You can join us if you like", which sounded half-hearted on her part... So it's nothing against tourists or other cultures/races, it can happen among French people too! I subscribed to your channel by the way :)
If you go to most other countries in Europe or other continents, ppl don't need a valid reason to be friendly or warm. I think it's a "Why not smile? Why not have a light conversation with a stranger? Why not be patient to figure out what the other person is trying to say in broken french?" I have lived in a huge co-living house for new employees in France with a majority of French ppl. It was soooo obvious how the 'non-french' ppl were warmer to each other with small talks and trying to ease the new co-living experience. With the Spanish and African employees, who all speak very good French with maybe some accent, we often wondered why French ppl are so cooold and come across as rude and impatient with the accents. It also made us laugh each time a french ppl would say "oh I've been to your country, ppl are soooo nice there" 😅 haha, I guess you french ppl don't get a cue from those 'niiiiiiice countries'
@@nsdudet584 Not smiling to strangers doesn't mean one isn't willing to help tourists if they need help... nor does it exclude one from being warm and polite in their interactions. It's just a cultural thing - if you approach strangers and start randomly chatting to them they will think a) what does this person want from me? (sensing a scam) and/or b) this person must not be quite right in the head... French people are just more reserved, keep to themselves and respect others doing the same. As for other Europeans acting warmer - not that you can make sweeping generations - I have my own memorable experience with a Spanish and an Austrian roommate who were the most spiteful, nastiest people I've ever met.... :)
I live in Lisbon which is also a very touristic European capital and the amount of tourist expecting locals to entertain them during their visit is astonishing. Dating apps, social networks (Instagram, tiktok, wtv) they all kinda inform that they're visiting and want 'a guide', someone to show them the best places, to go to the beach with, to have a meal with them and they also expect the local people who are not tourists to drop their jobs, family, plans to cater to them during their visitations
@@redleeks6253 Exactly... and when we Europeans go to the US, do random people go out of their way to entertain us and make conversation? So there... ;)
I lived and worked Paris for several years. I agree the French don’t mix with coworkers. I became friendly with one coworker and finally, after months, she invited me to her home (she lived with her parents). It was a wonderful evening with all the family, beautiful place settings, silver, linens, etc. and I realized how differently they entertain from North Americans. Maybe that’s part of the reason they are more hesitant to become close, because having you get to know them and their families is a major, major step and, unlike typical North Americans who are casual in their welcome, the French don’t take friendship lightly.
Dude, we are talking about visiting not living there. If you just want to visit for 10 days and cannot have friendly encounter, Darn, forget about it. I will spend my money somewhere. They can keep their French if that is so precious to be French. No one wants to take it away from you.
@@luckarl Exactly. Every other nationality in the world speaks to people and socializes in hostels etc. Not the French. They're either super insecure or snooty or both. One told me it's because they don't want to be judged for their "bad English" but there are two solutions to that, French folk: 1) Improve your English. One easy way is to SPEAK IT with others! 2) Stop judging and mocking others because then you won't think about others judging and mocking you (or assume they are when they're definitely not).
@@leenieledejo6849 and @luckarl : "I will spend my money somewhere" Here, you are making a HUGE cultural error. For French (and many Europeans places) money is not an argument. We don't care if you spent your Dollars here or elsewhere. We don't wait after YOUR money. You are mentally so enslaved to these Dollars that it becomes justification. “Improve your English” oh well ? and why ? because you spent money to come here ? What would justify us speaking English? What justifies YOU don't speak French (I'm waiting for a real answer)? How many times have I helped tourists in Paris to find their way, even going extra KM to get them to the right place because they were panicking. Not to mention the Americans who stick their map in your face and tell you “we want to go there”. No "hello" or "excuse me for disturbing you". For me, the cutest people when they ask for help are Italians. But above all, we work (the vast majority of us do not work in tourism) so spending time helping or talking friendly means leaving work later in the evening. France is a magnificent country, which welcomed 100 million tourists in 2023. More than the French population itself. This represents 7.5% of GDP while for Greece it is 25% of GDP. Our country is so idealized (Architecture, culture, art of living...) that it becomes a pipe dream. Obviously some tourists will be disappointed or even feel cheated and i can understand that. When I go to the USA, Spain, Portugal ... i don't ask to behave as I see fit. In N.Y. trying to talk to someone is complicated unless the guy has something to sell you. I made the effort to speak English and that's normal. I find it a shame that the Americans I met didn't speak French and when they tried it was so bad that frankly they could make an effort to learn it better. Do you see how this language argument is rotten? You are asking us to do what you would not tolerate being imposed on you. And don't get me wrong, I've traveled a lot and found friendly, indifferent, stupid people everywhere. France is no exception. "If you just want to visit for 10 days and cannot have friendly encounter, Darn, forget about it" What do you expect really ? French speakers have no problem having friendly relations with other French speakers. But don't ask for something you can't get if you don't speak the language. With luck you will come across a French person who speaks English fluently. But it is rare. Because you are in France and we don't have the necessity to speak English. And it's not because France is a tourist country that everyone has to speak English. To finish, you should know that movies and series in English language are dubbed into French. I don't think I'm wrong if I tell you that it's the same for Italy and Spain but not systematically in German or Dutch. On the other hand, there are many countries in Europe and around the world that provide subtitles. The impact on language knowledge is enormous.
@@leenieledejo6849 "Many French are afraid of making errors so they're afraid to speak English." - "Then just improve by speaking English" - It's like telling a depressed person to just be happier. Or an American to just speak quietly in Europe. Or to just use the metric system. It's easy, just do it! /s
The number of people I saw there, who clearly watched Emily in Paris and even dressed like Emily, was amusing. Life in Paris has nothing to do with that TV show. Even more difficult for someone who is briefly visiting. No place in the world will be just like the what you see in the movies. It shows a lack of cultural knowledge when someone get all their conclusions from a TV show. I am Brazilian American, and I could spot tourists in Paris from day 1.
It seems as if this woman is a tourist, not someone looking to move to France. What was she looking for when she decided to go to France? My first trip in my early 20's I had no expectation. I was looking forward to an experience that was different than being in the US. I did a lot of research before going so that I had an idea of what I wanted to see & do. I was thirlled to see up close & personal a lot of the art I had studied in school. We had no Algerian Couscous restaurants where I lived in the US. I had never experienced a Tunisian sandwich shop. I was so excited to see the architecture. I loved travelling by train--not really possible in the US. Of course it would have been great to find a French friend in the midst of all of that. I didn't go with any expectation & I felt saturated with everything that was new. I caught on quickly that manners were critically important. I noticed that everyone said Bonjour when entering a business no matter what it was--patisserie, market, clothing boutique, restaurant or the hotel I was staying at. At that time it was rude to touch money during most financial transactions. I saw how it was done & I followed suit. I put my money on the plate or the mat by the cash register & waited for my change to be put on that before picking it up. I have spent a lot of time in France. I learned the language. I developed a circle of friends (& a boyfriend).
As a fellow Canadian I feel if someone visits my country and doesn’t speak English or French and are polite, I am glad they came! We should all be welcoming of others who visit our home. It breaks down barriers, something this world needs. ❤
Following your own logic, if this person visiting Canada were to be impolite, you would not be glad they came, is that it ? Well, then everything depends on what we mean by "being polite", doesn't it ? You see, in France, it is generally considered impolite behaviour to be a dumbass. People will basically want nothing to do with you if you are so uncultured as to present yourself as a walking cliché. How many French people do you think actually wear a beret in 2024 ? Pitié.
Ce n'est pas comparable. Les ordres de grandeur sont démesurés en France. 100 000 000 de touristes en 2023 (plus que la population française). 37 000 000 de touristes rien qu'à Paris qui compte 2 000 000 d'habitants et le chiffre monte à 3 000 000 en journée de semaine avec les travailleurs habitant hors Paris. Paris c'est 10km sur 10km. Ce n'est pas très grand. 12 000 000 de touristes à Paris juste sur les mois de Juillet et Aout 2023 (français et étrangers)! Vous seriez dans une rue ou proche d'un site touristique qu'au bout de quelques minutes vous en auriez assez d'être interpelé parce que vous avez votre travail à rejoindre ou des enfants à aller chercher ou je ne sais quoi encore. Au début vous le faites avec le sourire parce que vous savez que ces gens-là sont en vacances et que vous voulez qu'ils passent un bon moment. J'ai même parfois recommandé ou déconseillé des lieux, accompagné des touristes perdus vers la bonne station de métro, la bonne rue. Et cela se répète souvent à partir du printemps jusqu'à l'automne. Donc c'est facile d'incriminer les gens qui y habitent ou y travaillent. Mettez-vous à leur place.
I visited Paris and try to learn a few words, especially “excuse me, do you speak English”, try to speak their language first shows respect to them and I had no problem finding help! Love it and can’t wait to go back.
Rick Steves recommends learning a few words. On my only trip to Paris in 2013 I learned a few and when I tried to speak French they would respond in English as my French was so poor but they knew I tried. I'm hoping to return next year. But yes their culture is very different then the US and doing research is very helpful before a trip.
I had the opposite. I know some Spanish and Italian, so it made it easier to learn some French. I ALWAYS said bonjour, do you speak any English in French, I could say I don't speak French in French and other sentences. My interactions with Parisians that were all negative was when no one was speaking, like watching them on the metro and watching them on the sidewalk do certain things and how rude they were
I worked for two French families in America. One family was fluent in English and the other spoke not one word of English. There was no difference between them culturally; it is difficult to get close. They keep a distance that is hard to understand but easy to adjust to. They were great employers who were instructive and fair.
I think there might be several factors playing in how the creator if feeling. 1. France is one of, if not the most visited country in the world with flocks of tourists arriving every year in big cities but also the countryside. As a French person myself, living in Paris, it can be very overwhelming, especially during spring and summer. The cities become even more densely populated, the narrow streets are fuller, traffic becomes crazier... it all makes daily life a little bit more stressful as it would be in any metropolis. It happens often that after the 3rd time someone stops you on the streets and speaks to you directly in English, you might not have the patience to interact and switch language instantly. I do believe people make the effort, but it can be hard sometimes to switch 2. Speaking of language, I think French people are very aware of the average to below average master of the English language and can be scared of miscommunication or misunderstanding. I think most would rather tell you they don't speak English than trying to and make you waste your time. This is also applicable to making friends. Including a non-speaker to an already existing group of friends might mean putting the pressure of speaking English to all the members of the friendship group, having to explain some slang, some references, etc, which takes time and effort. 3. The anglo-saxon culture is wide spread in the media, so it can be easier for a non-American, non-British, non-Canadian person to understand and adapt to that culture (it would be very surprising for a Danish person to stop a New Yorker in the street in Danish). French culture is a bit less well-known in terms of social codes for example and I think maybe, as non-Amrican/non-Brits.etc people have an easier tasks blending in thanks to media, it can be baffling to feel like you can't blend in as others do in your country. This is not fact-based, just some opinions :)
You read my mind. As a French person excessive tourism can get very overwhelming. That said I’m French but free up all over the world due to my parents jobs but u always retained the French “keep your distance “ stance. Not because I don’t want to get to know people but rather because I prefer to get to know people slowly. It’s not so much that we have to have friends from childhood. We make friends throughout our lives but yes, we are take our time. It feels fake to us I guess. But I do feel for that poor girl. She must have felt very isolated but when you travel you need to learn so go with the flow.
I dated a French man, and he would not react immediately to anything I said. Very true. However he was very sentimental. I walked into his home and he lit candles all over for dinner. When he wanted to have a discussion he'd wrap his arms around me. He bought me a simple chocolate bar at a show and spent the time feeding me piece by piece. However, trying to get a rise of emotion? Oh, he had to warm up to that. He was very serious. He rather debate than say exactly what he was thinking.
Totally agree with you! I did an exchange in France during university and made friends that I still visit today. When I arrived, I spoke intermediate French but could speak very well by the end. I’ve continued my French and now speak better than I did then, and I’ve had no troubles making French friends or enjoying my stays there. I think what you said is spot on - you have to show some initiative, but I’ve found people to be quite receptive. They do have a lot of pride in their culture and language, so I’ve found that they really enjoy sharing it with people who appreciate it!
Good job Ariel, articulate and well thought out commentary. When I was a tourist in Paris, I did not expect 'open arms' because I was simply a visitor in a foreign country. As a resident, however, my experience has been slightly different. My husband and I moved from the States to the Dordogne countryside 2 years ago. We are a bit of a curiosity out here as Americans and that might explain why several residents of our (very small) commune have made an effort to talk with us and in several cases invite us over as part of their group of friends- but effort is involved to keep the experience going for sure. The two true friends we have made here are both older French women, one of whom was a neighbour when we first arrived and fell in love with our dogs (!), the other a retired professor who volunteered to help us with (more) French lessons. They are now both good friends. Keep up the good work! Love your vlogs on the arrondissements and Greece.
I live 20 years in Toronto Canada and can also say Toronto people are very concentrated on the high school/ adolescent/ family friends and very hard to penetrate local Toronto people. most of my friends over the years were new arrivals immigrants who didn't grow up in Ontario. so about people congregating with their own childhood friends, it's an easy connection and takes place in any country. having spent a lot of time in France in the past 2 years, I find the French the most polite and receptive people but only after being able to have good lengthy discussions with them. North Americans receive friends very casually and calls everybody friends. whereas for French, friendship means having endured a lot of experiences , conversations, debate over apéros before one is considered friend , intimate for personal talk and introduction to family. I started solo travel 2 years ago. I go into a place to appreciate the city, food , people but I cannot ever expect people to entertain me as thus tiktoker does.
Exactly. I'd rather have someone consider me as their friend but actually mean it. Instead of just throwing the word around casually. I found Toronto a very cold and difficult place to deal with in terms of friendships.
I spent a year in Chambéry when I was in my early twenties, and I've returned several times through the years. I made wonderful friends when I was there, and I found French folks to be friendly whenever I traveled. Now, at 70, I'm returning with my wife to cheer my nephew on in his Paris Marathon run, and we'll be visiting old friends in the Alps. I'm a true introvert, but I do speak French (better now than then), and I found that people reached out to me and were eager to include me in their lives when I was there. I joined communty ski and hiking clubs, sang in the cathedral choir, played basketball at the university (badly), played guitar with other students (all French), sang in a local cafe, and regularly put myself out there. It was often hard, but it was also life changing.
Well it helps that you are a white female. I am an Asian female that visited Paris for the first time in April 2024. I was racially discriminated, ignored, called a racist name and stared down angrily and glared at by several French people (Strangers on the street) even though I waved at them and said "Bonjour" to them all when I noticed them staring at me. They never greeted me back but continued to give me a hateful stare down. If you are a white female with blonde hair, then you have an entirely different experience than an Asian female. White people get treated a LOT better than Asian-Americans. I also said "Bonjour," "Merci Beaucoup," and "au revoir," and "s'il te plaît" to every French person I encountered first and smiled. It's was very painful when they discriminated against me by taking one look at me and automatically hating me for being Asian. I had no choice to be born Asian. God made me this race.
Paris is completely different from Lyon. I'm from Mexico City, I have been living in France for almost 19 years, here in Lyon 18 years and 6 months. So I can speak about the way they are here. I agree with this lady! One thing is to come to Paris as a tourist another thing is to come to live. You should come to live here, then you tell us how it was! 😁
My first trip to Europe was with in High School with my Spanish teacher. We started in England/France & ended in Greece/Italy. I remember her pointing out that as we get further South, the people get more relaxed and open. That was in the 1980’s and it is still true.
We were in Paris for 10 days a couple of years ago. We did not find near as many people that spoke English as in Rome but found no one rude or dismissive of us. We won't hesitate to return when we get an opportunity.
Maybe you tried to say "hello" and "goodby" in french ? it's simple but it is really efficient to make people more nice with any visitor. French also do know they are "bad" in englsih or any foreigns langages for many reasons. Mostly "old" french people are "bad" in english langage since anybody younger than 50's yo have to learn at least some english langage as first foreign langage. And now children learn foreign langages (english always first) at so young age.
Nah, they are rude in situations where no one is speaking. For instance, riding the metro and people coughing and sneezing in your face without convering their mouth or turning away. Or watching a dog walker be mean to dogs. Or watching a business person carrying something heavy down the sidewalk and people cutting them off while they're carrying something heavy or cutting off older people that can't walk fast enough. Cut off people walking down the steps in the metro.
@@tone03tone😂 Tu vas dans n'importe quelle grande métropole dans le Monde et tu pourras voir ce type de situation. Il y a même probablement des villes pires que Paris à ce niveau-là.
@d3swu57 Nothing like this in Bangkok or South America. SEA and South America have some of the greatest hospitality cultures. Nothing like this even in cities in Italy or Belgium or Netherlands. There's a reason even French people say Parisians are rude. But that's not my point. My point was the first commentator blaming it on Americans not saying Bonjour first and I have plenty of examples where no one was speaking.
Local people aren’t around to make tourists feel good on holiday. They’re just trying to get on with their ordinary, working lives made tenuous by tourism. Cruise ships cause big disruptions to infrastructure in small cities. Tourists mob local shops, transport, walkways, parks - interrupting how locals go about their daily lives. Don’t expect them to out themselves by smiling. (If you’re stepping outside of America, take time to learn enough language to get by in the non-English speaking places you’re visiting. Become acquainted with cultural etiquette and customs.)
Premièrement le fait que la France soit le pays le plus visité au monde, 80 million de touristes pour 67 million d’habitants, fait que les Français vivants dans les villes et lieu les plus visités sont constamment assaillis par des touristes qui leur demandent constamment des renseignements et 99% dans une langue qui n’est pas le Français. Cela entraîne un comportement de leur part qui se manifeste par une sorte de carapace froide pour ne plus être ennuyé. Car il ne faut pas oublier que les touristes (souvent anglo-saxons) se comportent comme s’ils étaient dans un parc d’attractions remplis de guides de voyage, en oubliant que les gens qu’ils croisent sont des gens qui travaillent et essayent tant bien que mal de vaquer à leurs occupations au milieux de tout ça. Si vous allez dans les coins moins fréquentés par les touristes, vous verrez le comportement des locaux complètement changer. Ensuite je tiens à dire que le french bashing incessant des anglo-saxons sur les réseaux sociaux, les film, les séries TV, les tabloïds commencent sérieusement à agacer de plus en plus de Français. Se faire moquer à tous bouts de champ et voir constamment nos soldats morts , nos résistants et nos aïeux se faire traiter de lâche par rapport à la seconde guerre mondiale, incite de moins à vouloir être jovial et chaleureux avec des personnes qui sont identifiées comme de nationalité anglaise ou américaine, par exemple. J’ai des témoignages autour de moi de plein de personnes qui ne supporte plus ce manque de respect de grand nombre de vos compatriotes envers la France et son peuple.
100% d'accord sur tout ce que vous dites. Pour abonder dans votre sens, dans les films et les séries américaines, souvent quand il y a un Français, c'est un cambrioleur, un escroc, un traître ou un lâche. Les Françaises sont généralement montrées comme des séductrices vénales et sans scrupules. On appelle ça du sexisme. J'ai beau chercher, je n'arrive pas a trouver une "oeuvre" audiovisuelle des USA montrant des Français qui ne soient pas diffamatoires La haine des Français véhiculée par certains médias est tout simplement de la xénophobie décomplexée.
Salut Antibash. En ce qui me concerne je vis dans un biotope préservé, encore aucun anthropologue n'est venu souiller notre sol, toujours pas de safari en 4x4 pour cinéastes en herbe dans les chemins creux normands. Plutôt que d'accabler les parisiens comme le font beaucoup de jeunes français dans ces colonnes, j'aurais tendance à les plaindre. La différence entre le parisien et moi-même c'est que lui il se voit percuté quotidiennement par ce décalage culturel dont il serait presque coupable... en prime il se rend compte de l'absence de solidarité de la part de ses compatriotes ! Quoi qu'en disent certains, la manne de fric venant du tourisme indiffère 90% des français; par ailleurs l'argent dépensé en moyenne par le touriste étranger s'avère selon les statistiques notoirement moindre qu'aux USA ou en Suède; je n'ai rien à vendre ni aucune prestation à produire envers nos visiteurs et par conséquent je tiens à le dire le tourisme m'est étranger. Surtout, je n'ai aucunement observé que les parisiens étaient des Homos Erectus d'une autre branche et le plus lamentable dans tout ça vient de la participation des jeunes français à la destruction de l'image de leur nation. Amis français, cessez de vous excuser ! Renvoyez la baballe avec humour, notamment aux trolls (plus qu'à nos amis parisiens).
I don't think "cold" is a good word. I like reserved or formal better. I can understand feeling isolated as a solo traveler but I think that can happen anywhere. I also think the dynamics of living or working in a large city encourages a bit of distance because it's always a bit overwhelming just dealing with the logistics let alone being open to other people. Language can also be difficult for both sides. The French feel as insecure about using English as we do about speaking French. I agree that people have unrealistic expectations. I watched a lot of videos showing people having a perfect wonderful time in Paris but constantly reminded myself that I was seeing a highly edited version of their trip. No trip is perfect. The goal should be to figure out what you want out of a trip and then to be flexible.
As an American in Japan, a lot of what you said about French people also applies to Japanese people, especially their lasting friendships with people they went to junior high school, high school and university with. One major difference is that a lot of Japanese people would love to talk to a foreign traveller, especially if they seemed to need some help. But they get too hung up on thinking they have to speak perfect English, which comes from the general fear of being seen to make mistakes. Just the other day one of my students told me she saw a young Western couple in the station standing in front of the ticket machines, looking confused. She stood there for a while having that familiar internal debate, until finally a young Indian woman came up and offered to help them. So I told her to imagine that I was looking confused in the station, and try to offer help to me. And she did very well, obviously because she's known me a long time and is very comfortable with me. So I reminded her of a point I've made with my students probably hundreds of times. Language and communication, not to mention life, aren't always about comfortable and perfect. They're much more often about messy, and just getting the job done the best you can. Any exchange in a foreign language can easily turn into a messy, confusing adventure, but nobody's going to get hurt. No blood will be spilled. And if you don't try then there's just...nothing. And where's the fun in that?...
I was in Paris 5 months ago and will be again in March. This is not my experience. I found most French as helpful as people here in Seattle. But then, the Seattle freeze is real. I truly enjoyed my time there. And I look forward to being there again.
as an east coast american, i'm amazed at how negative west coast people are about their surrounding. very rare to find a positive statement coming from anybody from the west coast. always thought it would be a nice place to live but just seems like a horrible place. seems like only nasty people live on the west coast.
@@mikedanbury2098Not the case here in L.A.. Most who live here go on about how much they love it. But they complain about the traffic. Everyone does. It sucks. 😁
@@mikedanbury2098 In my experience, those comments are mostly made by people not living here, who are trying to "bring California down" for personal reasons. This place isn't perfect. It isn't my personal fav place on earth, but it is a very comfortable place to live!
The Seattle freeze is so real! I love it. It's so lush and green for a city. But when I visited for the first time, I asked an employee at a shop for directions to another store. I'm from the East coast near Philadelphia. We're not the friendliest but not afraid to go up to people. She looked at me like I was asking her to rip her arms off and give them to her.
Honestly, no matter where it is, if you choose to visit a foreign nation (even if it is just for a vacation), it really is best to at least try to learn the basics of whatever the native language is. Even without being fluent, if it is obvious that you are truly making an effort, people are way more likely to help you.....sometimes they'll even help you with the language. It's also best to stick to the major cities instead of the countryside or rural areas. Besides language, appropriate etiquette when out in public should also be something taken into account before choosing to travel internationally.
I've been literally all over France and it has always exceed my expectations. I relearn the language every time I go and I have had zero problems with the French. As a matter of fact I had the opposite problem with the language. I am speaking French and everyone wants to speak English with me. And it's not because they don't understand me "my French is pretty good", it's because they want to practice. My opinion is that she needs to stop behaving like a tourist. The beret was the first no-no.
First off take off the damn Beret!!! It's so cliche that I'm American and I feel insulted!!!! I have been to France twice and loved every single second!!!!! I learned some French phrases and tried so hard to not stick out and I had many lovely experiences as a woman traveling on her own.
what a snob. as an American i feel insulted by you. maybe it is cliche but she was trying. everybody has their own preconceptions about other places. who are you to be insulted for her not to know everything about french culture. also the fact that you had to work hard not to stick out to have a lovely time makes me very happy to be an american. say what you want about america but i no need to work hard not to stick out here to have a good time here
I am also a solo traveler, who is very introverted. I stay in hostels and rent rooms thru Airbnb. It is a great way to make friends. I was in Paris and find the French people nice. I have never had any negative experiences while in Paris. ( I try to go every year or two.) taking a free walking tour also helps to meet people. I should say I am from the Seattle area which is nicknamed the Seattle freeze. Love your videos
That's why for us Europeans the North American demeanour of being overly expressive just comes off as fake and forced. If you're always smiling or positive it really loses all its meaning imho.
I feel bad for the girl in the Beret! I have traveled solo and sometimes it does feel that way. I don't mind it, because I am free to be with my own thoughts. I have traveled to France alone but I did do this to avoid that feeling - I got on a dating app and met a guy before I got there. He basically stayed with me during my entire time. Not that everyone should do that but it's similar to coming here to NY - I don't expect the same friendliness you find in Italy where people come up to you and talk to you. I do want to tell her, no one really wears berets LOL. Anyway, solo travel sometimes means being willing to enjoy your own company and still go to dinner, still go to parties, and do everything you would if someone is with you. I have met lifelong friends through solo travel - doesn't happen when I come with a group.
I’ve been to France twice and thoroughly enjoyed both visits. We’re heading back this summer to Nice, Lyon and Avignon. I’ve learned some basic words and it was fine, people were nice and helpful. It may be different as a solo traveler or living there longer term… you really need to learn the language in those cases. I also love Spain, Switzerland is beautiful, Germans are fun and honest, Budapest is nice to visit but not live, Amsterdam is PARTYEEE city and not for me.
My husband and I travel to Paris often and only encountered the “cold” mentality on our first trip as ignorant tourists who didn’t say Bonjour or Merci. We’ve never had any issues since. At the same time we’ve never actively sought out friends during our travels. Growing up near NYC I’d honestly say Parisians are way friendlier than New Yorkers.
How wonderful that you had such a good time in Greece! Greeks have a tradition of being kind and hospitable to foreigners and travelers - this is an important characteristic of Greeks and has been instilled in everyone there for thousands of years! You really felt this way of treating people as a positive and caring thing - it has a special name - filotimo. This word and concept even appears in ancient Greek writings!
From my experience mainly from traveling in the military, i have the opposite feeling about being in foreign countries. I try to pick up some of the local language. I found the French people to be polite but not rude. I will being going to France in July 2025 and Iam looking forward to it , as is my wife.
Haven't read all the comments, but I agree with the French who try to explain the apparent coldness of the French, especially among Parisians (this is much less the case outside the capital). First, there are certain codes to respect. There are times and places to socialize. Outside of these moments, the French will be in their bubble. To enter this bubble requires a delicate approach. If the French are rude, it is precisely because when foreigners address them, according to their point of view, they are rude by ignoring the codes for making contact. We don't break this bubble with big gestures or by being in a hurry. A bit like the Japanese, making contact with a stranger requires a lot of precaution, even deference, and sometimes, time. In the street (especially when you're walking), I don't even talk about it, it's almost a golden rule not to pay attention to who enters your bubble: 90% of the time, it's unpleasant. Then, and this goes in the same direction, the French are cerebral. If strangers come to you, it is rarely to "socialize", but rather to ask for a favor. Remember that Paris is the number one destination in the world, and it should be easy to understand that Parisians do not work during their break time or their travel time for the tourist office. Also, when you submit a problem, a difficulty, a request to a French person, he will not necessarily welcome you with a big smile and ask you if your whole family is well and how your trip went..., he will try to understand and respond to your problem. The Frenchman is not cold, he is... concentrated and completely absorbed in solving a problem or answering a question. And when you're in a hurry to get home, you're even less likely to want to respond to strangers. So it’s all a question of circumstances. You can be a stranger, for example, if you enter a private space (as opposed to all public spaces), the French become warm. There is just a very clear distinction in France between the relational level whether we are in a public or private place. Public space is not made for socializing and everyone must respect the other's living space. This includes not speaking loudly, saying "bonjour" or waiting until to be sure the person is receptive to you interrupting them and entering their living space. Even in private, the French are less expressive, it's true, and very expressive people will tend to "saouler" (exhausted by excess commitment, sensitivity, expressiveness). We must also see this as a question of respect, even if very expansive characters can also exist, but they then express themselves more often in private space. I think in other cultures the line between public and private space is much more blurred.
I think they do learn English, just like the kids here in Germany, but maybe the emphasis is different. In Germany, students take mandatory lessons sometimes four days a week (depending on the level of school). When my son did an exchange with a school in Aix-en-Provence in 7th grade, our kids were able to speak much better French than their kids German. So we tried to speak to English with them and that was a waste of time. Either they were all incredibly shy or the ability was just not there. Also, I have noticed a change in the friendliness of French people over the years, the few times I've been there. The first time, about 35 years ago, although I was able to speak fluent French (back then), most people were very rude. But over the years, each time I return, it gets better! People are friendlier now, sometimes even talk to us in a park!
There is a history between France and Germany... Until 50 years ago, the bad guys in French films were always Germans! I remember that when I was 14 years old at the beginning of the 80s, I had taken a language trip with a German family (very nice) and the family had complimented me because I reminded them of Charles de Gaulle (at 14 years!!) and for them, De Gaulle was a positive figure because he had reached out to Adenauer to bring West Germany out of its isolation after WW2. 4 years later, at 18, I took a trip on foot and hitchhiked with a friend in Brittany. One evening on a beach we met 2 young Germans (who had managed to make a campfire while it was raining) and the first thing they said to us was that "they apologized for the war" (even though they had no more participation in it than I did). European construction and time have gradually erased the resentments of the French towards the Germans, but 35 years ago, they were perhaps a little stronger than today...
You love it there ... but do you speak the language ... do you have friends who invite you to their homes? ... People who "love Paris" ... eat, gawk, shop (maybe), walk but how many friends do they make?
@@lb8781 Making friends in Paris is hard even for french people, it's big city most poeple have their 'true' friends and familly outside of it. And in France we dont let anybody come in our home as easy as many other countries, so if people are only short time tourists, chances are high we will not invite them in our home.same here we need time for make real friends, but once you got a friend here, it's a real one for good and bad moment, always here with you, not only for going to parties, have drink and food :p
@@lb8781do you make friends with people who visit your city? It's on the visitor to make contact, and it's actually polite to at least soeak a few words of the language.
I think you explained that extremely well. My take on all this is if you visit a foreign country, you are the one who must adapt to the culture, to the food, and the language. My experiences visiting France have been quite good in that if you make an effort, let’s say to speak in French they really appreciate that and will help you to the best of their ability if needed. And I should also like to mention that you need to take your Christmas stockings down now. Lol And one more thing, you should always wear that colour green. You look absolutely stunning !
I am from Lyon. This city has universities all over the place, with a huge proportion of foreign students. The most popular hangout in the city (right next to where she is standing on the video whining) is an Australian pub on a boat. If you didn't manage to find a single person to talk to in this place that is the most welcoming city for foreigners in the country, there must be something wrong with you.
Cold? Unexpressive? Not willing to reveal feelings? Not my experience. But then, I speak good French. Et surtout, I always, always, always lead with that language when in France. My French friends, many of them educated, erudite speakers of English as a second language, are almost always irritated by people who will not or cannot learn enough of their illustrious mother tongue to be able to manage a polite, properly accented conversation opener leading to an inevitable apology for not speaking the language of the country they are so happy to visit. Instead, the guest demands that the host accommodate THEM. That’s not polite, and French people, who coined the term “politesse” must be forgiven for reacting accordingly. How would an American feel about a Chinese tourist who refused to learn even a basic phrase or two, instead expecting their hosts to speak Chinese? Regarding people who are unexpressive and guarded, have you ever visited Japan?
It's actually the host that should be welcoming. Did you know that the word "hospitality" (and "hospital", "hospice" etc) comes from the Latin for "stranger/guest"? It's from Matthew 25:35 where Jesus says "I was a stranger and you welcomed me" ("hospes eram et collexistis me"). Even in cultures with no (or little) Christian heritage, hospitality and welcome to strangers is important. Where on earth did you get this idea that the onus is on the guest?? I have never heard that in my life.
@@leenieledejo6849 So the french hosts (NB all citizens here are not touristics host, some just live their live with no need of any tourists, let be clear about it) should learn many dozens of langages to be nice with all the differents people comming visiting France ? that's your point ? Really ? like they should learn English (ofc since it has NEVER been their native langage ...) then also Spanish, German, Italian (all those are close neighbours but let's continue your logic ..) also Chinese, Japanes, Korean, Russian, Sweden, Arabian, Persian, Indian langages ... all those langages ? Just to follow your logic and a religious book (France is a laic country so ... mention religious book is, at least, a proof of deep ignorance about what France is)
@@leenieledejo6849 If you invite someone into your house, then, yes, there is some expectation that you try and make things nice for your guest. But French people are not hosts, they haven't invited you into anything, they're just people living their lives. So they haven't taken on that obligation for themselves. It's like you have (however temporarily) joined a club: this club consists of all the people living in France and one of the rules of the club is that you generally speak in French. You wouldn't join any other club and then immediately complain that you didn't actually want to follow any of the rules! "Hello, I just joined the village football club, I was just wondering when the first rugby match is?" "What do you mean? This is a football club you just joined, we don't play rugby." "So, you're saying you're not going to put on rugby matches for me? You're so unwelcoming!" "Uh..."
As an American living in Japan I agree that people here are usually quite reserved when dealing with strangers. But with friends or family or even co-workers, especially when they get some alcohol in them, Japanese people can be among the most expressive people you'll ever see...
Our cities are overwhelmed by tourists.we are definitely not going to learn English just too welcome more .We have no interest in doing that.Plus,every country has its own culture,if you don’t like it,stay in your local Starbucks in San Francisco.
(Sorry for my bad English I’m french) Okay so I don’t know if it’s just a cultural shock or something but why do tourists (especially Americans one) want to be friends with the people living in the country they are visiting? I go to England every year (expect in 2020 and 2021 because of Covid) since 2017 because I absolutely LOVE this country and it never crossed my mind to try be friend with anyone. When I go to a different country it’s to try the local food, visite museum and castle, enjoy the nice architecture, learn more about the history… I don’t expect people to be nice and welcoming to me, i know they probably are already very busy going to work, seeing the doctor, or buying groceries, they don’t have my time and that’s normal! If I don’t want to be alone in my trip then I bring one of my friends with me. Like I don’t know I just don’t get it, could someone please explain to me 😭
I went on a river cruise in France last summer and only had positive experiences. We did go to some small villages that were used to having the ships come through, but often didn't really speak English. They were still helpful and welcoming. I did use a few French phrases to get by, but even on another trip in Bordeaux I found the people very welcoming and would speak to me in English before I hardly had a chance to greet them in French. 🤷♀️
I think you gave a fair and insightful explanation of cultural differences. This girl might have been traveling alone too and feeling that on top of the cultural difference. I've traveled a lot and taught in Europe and I agree that we are a guest in their countries and a foreigner and have to take the time or do the research to realize that there may be big differences in how people interact with others. If it's just a trip, we should still do some research but also realize that we aren't going to fully be able to engage with the culture and people on such a short term---even if, as in your Greece experience, they are immediately open and welcoming. We can be interested and open to learning but may have to accept a certain amount of loneliness in those experiences. I appreciate that you took the time to analyze and explain these things in a fair way rather than just diss the girl for her feelings.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am a French man married to a Mexican woman. We are living in Grenoble since 5 years. Your feedback is very close to the everyday life of my wife. It is indeed very hard for American people to integrate in France. On the contrary, it is very easy for Europeans to integrate and feel welcomed in America. My wife's experience really got me aware about the huge lack of empathy we carry in France. I remember in my previous job a phD student from India who did not speak French stayed in the company for a one month experience. Almost anyone in the company spoke to her, although most of my colleagues spoke very fluent English. She confessed me it was her worst experience in France and she just wanted to leave this place asap. France pretends to be the best country of the world because of its beautiful landscapes and very rich history. We are a very pretentious and nostalgic nation where in my point of view there is a lot to see but very few to share humanly speaking. To live in France as a foreigner even mastering the language is a very hard experience. I went to New York and Boston as a solo traveller one year ago and I could meet people easily in the street, bars, restaurants... It is something which would be unrealistic to do wherever the place in France. I can also witness about the warm you can feel from the mexicans that is completely from another world for french people.
Compare latinos cultures (known for being alot more "open" but not always so good also) to french culture and finish by saying it is "very hard experience" for any foreigner in any place in France, seems a bit strange. Ever tried Japan as a stranger, or Iran or Argentina or many other countries ? I'm Not sure experiences are better there. I can not put all other countries where living or visiting would be at least same or alot worst than in France. Not even talking about security in few countries, nice if everybody smiles but if you have 50% chance of being assaulted in the street, not sure it makes a good experience (I know some Venezuelians, all kind and smart people, all saying better never visit there)
I know what she means. Just recently another RUclips blogger who just came back from Paris her friend who is of Korean origin the Parisians wasn’t nice to her and they didn’t know why.
For the other RUclips blogger with friend who has asian roots, I think you have already provided a part of the explanation (without watching this content).
It really is all about what is the norm for the culture. American visiting Paris did not find French people to be rude but we also were in a small hotel in the 11th and took the Metro wherever we could. We'd walk to find dinner, then turn down a side street and down another until we found a small place that was always very accommodating. Were they overly friendly? No, but they were certainly friendly enough. We tried to speak our pathetic French but they usually spoke English back if they could. Much like the North in the US vs. the South. I've lived in both. People got no time for you in large cities in the North but if you ask for help, they'll help you a lot. In the South US, you can't get through the grocery store line without having a conversation and new knowledge of the best place for this or that. If you want really friendly people, go to Romania. A walk down a road and a simple "Hello, your garden is beautiful" (you have to gesture toward it, smile approvingly and nod as no one speaks English) results in a kitchen table sit down and a glass of Palinca. They'll offer the second but be warned, you can't walk afterward. Of course, they'll put you up for the night so it's no real problem.
I just subscribed to your channel, love it. I do agree with you but not 100%. We are not colder than all the other countries in the world. Scandinavian people are even colder except when they're drunk :). I travel a lot to Hungary, Croatia etc, it's not easy either when you're alone. Only serbians were wow wow wow, so friendly. We for sure are much more reserved and there is of course the language barrier... I'm sure a little "bonjour, excusez moi" helps a lot. Keep up the good work
Hard to make generalisations about such a big country but I guess we have to. I’ve lived and worked here for almost 50 years. I do feel sorry for the lonely young lady in the clip, but the great thing about travel is you learn a lot about your own culture. It’s good for anyone, especially Americans like her, to understand that not everyone is aligned on their own behaviour and outlook. The French are very different to Americans, despite all the exposure to the American way of life, as portrayed in the movies and on TV, video games, etc. The perceived coldness owes a lot to differing attitudes regarding privacy and personal space. If you roll up to a French person as if you’ve been bosom buddies for years, you will definitely make them feel very uncomfortable. Seeing a student sitting alone, a French person might naturally assume that this is her wish and that it would be impolite to approach her. France is a country torn between its traditions and the ways of what it calls the “Anglo-Saxon” world. Something I have observed over the years, especially in the workplace, is a pervasive inferiority complex amongst the French. This is counterintuitive given their reputation for being grumpy and impolite! Not getting invited to a French person’s home, especially in cities, might have something to do with their being ashamed of how small it is compared with what they see in American movies. If you want to break the ice with a French person, first try inviting them out for a meal. They will feel much more comfortable with this than home invitations. Remember, if you want to see French people at their best, the dinner table is the place to be! Oh, and if as a tourist you only learn one word of French, it has to be “bonjour”. Make it the first word you say wherever you go. Don’t say “Hi” or, worse, just launch straight into a conversation in English. Sorry if this is boring.
You're so right about French people not going out of their way to make friends with strangers, I wish I had known that when I went there with an Erasmus visa with one of my colleagues. Not one French student approached us and we were there studying with them for 3 months! And being the introvert that I am, I was too shy to approach them, but they didn't seem friendly at all or like they wanted to talk to us at all. On the other hand, I had absolutely no problem making friends with all the other Erasmus students I met on campus - Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, and German- and they were all super friendly. It makes sense that foreigners in another country connected more easily, but I still find it hard to understand how the French students had absolutely no curiosity or inclination to even talk to us. Especially when the language was not a barrier for us, we were studying French at the University and spoke well. It felt isolating and very similar to the experience you described about your first day at school.
When you travel, you have to research before you go. Traveling in my early 20s was during the 70s. Hardly anyone spoke English. Even Canada have Quebec 😂
Hello fellow Canadian! I have never responded to something like this before, however I just watched your video, I liked it very much because you seem to have nailed it with most of being a Expat here in France. I do understand that this was geared towards the young lady who was a tourist. I'm glad you have this vblog. My question is are you still in Paris? because there are many things I can mention to you for subject matter as I am also an expat. I've been here for 12years. I'll send you a private mail. Thank you so much for your time in blogging about certain topics. I'll watch some more of your videos😊👍
Wearing that hat tells me all I need to know about her expectations. France is amazing and the people are actually great. People in Paris in particular are very much like New Yorkers so I feel at home. They don’t need to be exuberant in front of every tourist. Tired of so many tourists thinking that locals need to bow in front of them or they are considered rude. Those from Asia in particular often get shell shocked by France because it’s not like the fairy tale Disney they’ve been shown in media. Look up “Paris Syndrome” in Japan.
As someone who moved to France from Canada in my 30s, I can relate to the feelings of loneliness and isolation but I don't fault the French for that - they have a specific culture and it's my responsibility to integrate, not the other way around. The problem with so many tourists is that they treat France and Paris like it's an amusement park - it's not. People have lives, they have jobs, they get sick, they have to deal with French administration 😂 But seriously, the French can be very friendly but you have to get to know them first. It's not like in America where your server at a restaurant acts like your best friend even though you've never met them before and will likely never see them again. I actually feel it's more genuine in France - if they become friends with you it's because they actually like you. You still probably won't get an very observable emotional reaction from a lot of them, but they'll show friendship in other ways.
One thing I know France and Italy are overhyped. Europe has so many more beautiful places where the people are much more friendly. Try going to the French speaking part of Belgium. The same thing. If you don't speak French it's hard to even be aknowledge. Mind you I am a Black woman from Holland. France and Italy are beautiful but I will not visit again soon.
I get the impression that there are meet up groups of English speakers. Maybe comprised of travelers and locals. Google? Of course, you need to stay safe where you go and public. Group tours. I understand that its everyday activities where she feels this way. Personally I went to places alone in my 30's looking back for me it's sad. Imho.
It’s not realistic to think someone is going to learn French for a two week vacation. In Germany, they begin learning English in elementary school and are nearly fluent by graduation.
Yes I agree ! I didn’t learn Greek when I went to Greece so I totally get it. But I do think that if you don’t know the language then you have to assume you will have a harder time integrating :/ perhaps in Germany they learn English, but in the US or in Canada do we automatically learn German in elementary school ? Unfortunately, no… so why have the same expectations for other countries around the world ? Just my thoughts !
I think though that we Americans, don’t try very hard. I come from the US but have two kids who are raised in Europe and my kids had English in school since 1st grade, French since 5th grade and one child added Spanish in 8th grade, all simultaneously. And they have the attitude of, I must try to use what little I have. When we went to Paris for a week, we all learned basic phrases. Well my kids actually understood and could speak some after 5 years of it in school. My husband had English and Latin in school and I had Spanish in school and Italian at home so no French exposure yet we tried hard and found everyone lovely and helpful in Paris because we tried hard and were humble.
In the U.S. I took Spanish for 7 years 6th grade through 12th grade. The Hispanic community was dramatically increasing and it was a higher chance of getting a job if you were bilingual. My youngest took Spanish for four years. Germany wasn’t on his radar at the time but his experience at college in Frankfurt is most people 50 and younger know English. We lived in Stuttgart for three years and my two oldest children learned English and German. My point really is if you are in the hospitality industry it is a benefit to have a minimal base knowledge of English, German, Italian etc. If a great amount of your cities income comes from tourism, I believe the effort should be on both sides because you should want them to have a pleasant experience. That’s why I would only go to Paris on a tour package where tours are led In English.
Arielle, I appreciate how you gave a detailed explanation with relatable examples. Being from the US, broadly we are louder, more animated and outgoing. From my experience, there are some areas, usually smaller towns, that don’t welcome new people and you have hard time making friends. Other cities (like most of CA) majority of people are super friendly but you still aren’t making deep meaningful friendships. Maybe it’s our day and age, but interactions are superficial.
I'm glad to know French people aren't interested in interacting with people they haven't known for 100 years before taking my trip. Now I know what to expect and I won't take it personally.❄
French people can be distant towards each other as well It is difficult to explain why Is it lack of trust ? Of perhaps lack of confidence I would say the French ask themselves a lot of questions and they judge themselves very harshly Expectations are high within families so a French person is brought up to believe that he / she is not good enough They end up believing it Thank you very much for your refreshing videos ✨🌷🧚♀️✨💕✨✨
I need to add that I have met some French people who were totally dedicated and so helpful It is a country of very mixed cultures And everyone needs to seek and maybe find its place , which will be in harmony with who one is
No it's just that we respect boundaries and privacy. We do not rush at people assuming that if they don't come to you it's because they want to on their own.
sorry ? no, its just because contrarly to "anglo saxon" mentality, we respect each other boundaries, and we are not superficial in friendship, we dont like sound FAKE.
As a person that has strong Asian features, I usually have a hard time approaching people (even those in hospitality, lol) for help. Literally running away from me as I approach until I speak French. Most people I know (that doesn't speak French) who visit France either for work or leisure generally don't have a good time. But my experience is mostly good since I speak the language even if I am not very good. Good point on never expecting locals to accommodate you especially if you cannot communicate efficiently. As a Filipino, we are totally different as people here are mostly very welcoming and we'd accommodate anyone as much as we could. Before visiting France, i know most people could be "cold" but it's really different when you experience it. But since I have set my expectations, I just tried my best to be independent and make things work. Paris is a beautiful city if you know where to look. I have no problems touring alone, bonus if i meet people along the way who would be patient with my franglais, lol. Would suggest to be on a group tour with a french-speaking guide if you speak 0 french for a better experience especially going there the first time.
I've only been to France once, for a wedding in Nantes. Most of the French people we were around spoke English and we used what French we had (not much) as often as we could. One of the funniest moments came when one of the groom's aunts said, "it's nice that you try so hard to speak such very bad French." When I tell that story to Americans they're horrified and think the woman was being rude. We didn't take it that way at all. We were on their turf, not ours. The best thing one can do before visiting a foreign country is to do some basic research about the culture, learn a few pleasantries/requests in the native language, and not expect the place they're visiting to be like where they're coming from.
She was not rude. It was a complement. Despite the fact you spoke French badly but put in the effort to continue she thought that was amazing. It is also about the culture and way of thinking. The English have a dark sense of humor that can make people uncomfortable if not used to it. All nations have different ways of thinking according to their cultural backgrounds.
Actually, she (the aunt) was just honest (from a French person's perspective) and brutally honest (from others' perspective) but honest, that is super important because acting like that you value the person in front of you. If she had wanted to be hypocritical and fake, she could have said : "Your French is amazing" (without thinking it at all).
You totally understand her, she was not rude ,she was just honnest. I think she told you what she really thought, you did not had the best french langage but it is really awesome that you keep trying. Most french people would do the opposite: if not sure about how to say it good, most will say nothing ^^' that's how we are.
a British journalist wrote an article about the video of the American woman in Lyon. In a nutshell: in just a few days she expected to have relationships that the French take years to have with each other.
This girl annoyed me with the beret. I know French people from my school and they are not rude, but they kind of remind me of New Yorkers in a way, or Japanese people. They are very reserved and won't engage with you if you are a stranger. There has to be something transactional for them to even talk to you, like "what do you want" and not "how are you, I like your hat." Hat? Who cares. That's French people from my experience.
Wow, This is interesting how someone's perception can vary depending of their country of origin, or their traveller experiences. I come from the French speaking part of Switzerland, and by no mean I would say that the French are cold and reserved (= not expressing their emotions) ! French people love to talk, discuss, argue, debate, etc. They express (and rant) A LOT, and I don't find them reserved in the least. But I admit that French being my mother tongue makes it way easier for me to connect with them. I actually love French people for their easy contact (they are not shy to express their opinion), elegance of manners, wide culture, and even their blunt honesty, acute critical sense and... heavy humour, go figure, lol. I also appreciate them for their way of being always ready to rediscuss a matter and reconsider their position. I find people in my country way colder and reserved, to say the truth.
Most important to say "Bonjour" when entering most businesses. Many tourists are being rude as soon as they enter a business by not doing this, and will be treated as unmannerly as a result. This is a cultural quirk of the French, based on their perception of public and private spaces. Shops are private spaces of the business owner, so a respectful acknowledgement of their private space is considered basic politeness.
@@fridaytax thank you so much for this tip, I really appreciate it. As silly as it may sound, I think I am going to invest in babble (the on line language Tudor) and try to learn a little French. At least some basic. 😊. Thank you again
@@fridaytax It's more complicated than saying "bonjour", I think. If you walk in somewhere saying "hello" like you're a queen and expect to be treated like that because you used the magic word, it will be the same. Someone explained this very well: especially when you enter a business, in France, you are not dealing with an employee for whom the customer is king, you are often dealing with the owner of the place and you are literally entering his home. You should therefore not say "hello" loudly while showing your presence, but enter carefully to be sure not to disturb. We say "bonjour" once we meet the person's eyes and we must be very careful when addressing the person, as if we were talking about an injured stray cat^^. Same thing in the street which is a public and often avoid and transition place. This is unfortunately much more complicated than using simple tips.
En fait, nous n'avons pas envie de supporter des touristes lourds, qui ne font même pas l'effort de dire "bonjour" en français, qui s'adressent à vous en anglais, comme si nous étions obligés de parler leur langue.
In the example shown, where that woman was complaining how she was treated, in tears, stating that she even bought a "French" hat... that alone would be taken as a stereotypical insult that many foreigners have since the beret is not a "French" hat but more regionally worn in the Basque country of southwest France and into Spain. It would be like a foreigner buying a cowboy hat in New York City attempting to ingratiate himself or herself with your typical New Yorker and wondering why that's not working....!!! Lol
I've seen plenty of French people in comments on Instagram say that they actually do wear a beret because people keep saying that none of them do. And people already do stereotype Americans anyway as cowboys, fat, loud, and monolingual
The last time I was in Paris before right before the pandemic, I had the best time there as a solo traveler. Yes, people is not very warm but they were nice. It was my second time there trying to find gusto for the city since my first time there wasn't uh ah for me 😂. I booked a couple of walking tours there and met a girl and after the your we had dinner. I went to Versailles got lost and had no problem getting help. When you go with high expectations and thinking everywhere you go will be the same as the last place you visited, you might get disappointed. I have felt lonely at times but because I am alone but not because where I am. Prague was a little challenging for me dye to the currency and some people not being so warm but still appreciated my time there, then again I met a nice group of people in a tour.
English proficiency is worse in Japan, but at least in Japan you get to feel the effort they express respect and politeness towards you. It is more indifference and coldness shown in France towards foreigners… just enjoy the sights, scenery and food.. don’t expect much else from the local people!!
I'm definitively french ! I completely agree with mgparis and TheFrenchWhispererASMR. That's not a question of language, we would act exactly the same with french people. If I would arrive in another french city and somebody would smile and talk to me without reason, I would feel very uncomfortable ! I would wonder what this person would want from me... But I'm absolutely certain that if somebody, french or not, need some help, everybody would try their best to help...they just have to ask so we are sure not to be intrusive or indiscreet !
As a south european raised in the US when i went to framce with american friends two girls burst out in tears after a french waitress yelled at them. I just laughed and said you may be able to make them cry and become upset but not me 😂
Definitely crossing France off of my list as countries to retire to. 😁 Call me a crazy emo American, but I think it is basic human decency to at least acknowledge a new person and/or outsider in your Master's class. You don't have to become besties with them, invite them out or integrate them into your life, but you can at least say "hello" and ask a bit about them. Sounds like France is a perpetual American High School, lol! Not spending my elderly years back in High School, so I'll pass and just visit. 😎
This is spot on - right here. I have visited France - several parts of France - a handful of times (along with many other parts of Europe), and what you said here is spot on. I've visited Italy just as many times, and the differences - in terms of basic human decency - night and day. I'll won't go into detail, I'll simply say this: I will definitely go back to Italy.
@@NancyEllenB You're right. They'll make excuses in this comment thread but the truth hurts. I live here and I'm bilingual. Yes, they can be nice once you make a HUUUUUGE effort but it's like "getting blood from a stone" or "pulling teeth" and lots of people from every corner of the world say the same thing. (And yep, there are exceptions to the rule but I'm afraid many do lack basic human decency, especially in Paris 😢)
Bon, pour revenir à la réalité, j'ai visité depuis 2000 pour des vacances courtes : - Prague -La Grèce - Florence (2 fois) et Sienne - Rome (2 fois) - L'Irlande - la Turquie Honnêtement en dehors des commerçants, je n'ai jamais vu les locaux chercher des interactions particulièrement avec des touristes. La seule exception a été l'Italie et encore c'est parce que je parle un peu Italien. Je pense que les Nord-américains se font peut-être plus vite des amis parce qu'ils déménagent souvent. Pour avoir rencontrer des nord américains et anglo-saxons, notamment des étudiantes venus faire assistants d'anglais dans des écoles, ils étaient certes très "friendly", mais ils se limitaient a des discussions superficielles. Pour un Français, un ami, c'est quelqu'un a qui te peux te confier, sinon c'est une "connaissance".
Une autre réflexion que je me fais et que peut-être qu'il y a une pression sociale chez les Nord-américains pour avoir beaucoup d'amis, être populaire, etc. Ça existe aussi en France et c'est sans doute en partie du à l'influence de la culture américaine. La culture française va plutôt mettre en avant une amitié ancienne et profonde.
Maybe because I went with my husband, but I thought the French were so nice. I remember saying to my husband, these people are so nice. Except for one individual when we left Paris was very rude. I don’t think he was French.
How do you deal with all the smokers in France? I could not take it with my asthma. I hope they have lactase tablets because that is the only way I can eat the cheese. Yes learn a few words even if simple greetings like you would for any country.
Language exchange evenings! Really, if you don't speak the language, look for one of those, I don't know a better way to at least talk to locals. No guarantee for making friends, though.
En France, on considère la vie privée et intime plus sérieusement que chez les Anglo-saxons. Nous séparons les deux (vie privée/ vie professionnelle) et ce respect - que certains étrangers trouvent excessifs - de la vie privée est perçu comme de la froideur. Du moins, on considère toute "intrusion" dans la vie privée d'une personne dans la rue comme "non justifiée" si ça ne vient pas d'une demande de la personne elle-même. C'est juste une autre mentalité. La place de l'individu en société est différente. Le malentendu est récurrent. Ce respect "sacré" de la vie privée des gens s'étend à tous les domaines de la vie. des études, au travail en passant par la rue et les situations de la vie quotidienne. Même les parents se forcent à ne pas trop "déranger" leurs enfants lorsqu'ils quittent la maison et qu'ils deviennent à leur tour adultes. Cela est vraiment drôle car je vis en Chine et ici la place de l'individu est à l'opposé. En Chine, l'individu est sacrifié sur l'autel de la société. Tandis qu'en France c'est le contraire : la société se plie au confort et au respect de l'individu. Cette culture de la vie privée est aussi, de mon point de vue, un drôle de mélange entre la culture latine et celle du nord (germanique, celte). Il est très facile de s'en rendre en abordant les gens du nors au sud de la France. le rapport entre individus est sensiblement différent. Sans oublier le climat qui joue dans la formation de ce caractère. Il n'est pas étonnant que l'on soit plus souriant en Tunisie ou en Grèce qu'à Paris ou au Mans. Le taux d'ensoleillemente et de beau temps y est très différent.
Hello 👋🏾 Very interesting discussion. I think that we shouldn't generalise and that each person is different. However, it's hard to deny that the French are less friendly and more inward-looking than other cultures. If it were just a different mentality, "I wouldn't mind", but the problem is that I don't have the impression that this mentality makes us happy. There's a fairly gloomy climate in the country and a number of worrying statistics show a high rate of depression, alcohol consumption, cannabis and anti-anxiety drugs. As a Frenchwoman, I'm sincerely saddened to see so much mistrust of others and so little openness. I think that more openness would do us good, it's a very beautiful country, with great social protections, so we'd really have everything to gain by being less reserved and lighter while still wanting to keep this aspect of privacy. Have a good Saturday!
Unlike the US, which has no official or national language (though most people think there is & that it's English) Most countries, including France, have official languages; one should make an effort, even if you sound like a fool. People will lean in to you if they see you trying. English is lingua franca, there's always someone who can understand you, but it really is your place to try the local language and not theirs to speak yours. I saw the post from the sad girl & commented it the nicest way possible so as to not make her feel worse.
I wonder about the differences between Quebec french people and France french people? i've heard the Quebec french are standoffish also. I've never been to Quebec so I can't know if this is true.
I'm French and i am so sorry if we don't kiss all poeple come in France , no problems if you visite France, pas de problemes, now if i speak with a tourist , i'll give him/her a French kiss
I think it is fair to say that in average the French are culturally colder than others. But part of the apparent coldness is just a form of respect or politeness. You learn from a young age that when you don't know someone, you should tiptoe very carefully around their personal space, and you never, ever ask personal questions (or start talking about yourself) to people you don't already know relatively well. All of these rules exist to avoid creating discomfort and to show that you respect other people's boundaries. Unfortunately it also means that we suck at small talk with strangers ;)
I'm French and the thing I genuinely don't understand is the TikToker's expectation to meet people and even "make friends" in the course of 3-4 days... Why would strangers go out of their way to talk to a solo traveller? In my opinion, she sounds both entitled and delusional (the beret... :X), as if expecting some kind of VIP treatment because she "spent money" - again, why would random people care what she does with her money? Plus nobody would refer as a casual acquaintance as a "friend".
For the record, I live in Paris and I do help tourists all the time *when they ask me to*, but it wouldn't cross my mind to talk to a tourist spontaneously, I'd assume they'd want to be left alone :)
For context, at my fairly new job, the coworker I share an office with didn't offer to join her and others for lunch until I was there for 2.5 months, and even then she said "You can join us if you like", which sounded half-hearted on her part... So it's nothing against tourists or other cultures/races, it can happen among French people too!
I subscribed to your channel by the way :)
If you go to most other countries in Europe or other continents, ppl don't need a valid reason to be friendly or warm. I think it's a "Why not smile? Why not have a light conversation with a stranger? Why not be patient to figure out what the other person is trying to say in broken french?" I have lived in a huge co-living house for new employees in France with a majority of French ppl. It was soooo obvious how the 'non-french' ppl were warmer to each other with small talks and trying to ease the new co-living experience. With the Spanish and African employees, who all speak very good French with maybe some accent, we often wondered why French ppl are so cooold and come across as rude and impatient with the accents. It also made us laugh each time a french ppl would say "oh I've been to your country, ppl are soooo nice there" 😅 haha, I guess you french ppl don't get a cue from those 'niiiiiiice countries'
@@nsdudet584 Not smiling to strangers doesn't mean one isn't willing to help tourists if they need help... nor does it exclude one from being warm and polite in their interactions. It's just a cultural thing - if you approach strangers and start randomly chatting to them they will think a) what does this person want from me? (sensing a scam) and/or b) this person must not be quite right in the head... French people are just more reserved, keep to themselves and respect others doing the same. As for other Europeans acting warmer - not that you can make sweeping generations - I have my own memorable experience with a Spanish and an Austrian roommate who were the most spiteful, nastiest people I've ever met.... :)
Maybe she is Asian?
I live in Lisbon which is also a very touristic European capital and the amount of tourist expecting locals to entertain them during their visit is astonishing.
Dating apps, social networks (Instagram, tiktok, wtv) they all kinda inform that they're visiting and want 'a guide', someone to show them the best places, to go to the beach with, to have a meal with them and they also expect the local people who are not tourists to drop their jobs, family, plans to cater to them during their visitations
@@redleeks6253 Exactly... and when we Europeans go to the US, do random people go out of their way to entertain us and make conversation? So there... ;)
I lived and worked Paris for several years. I agree the French don’t mix with coworkers. I became friendly with one coworker and finally, after months, she invited me to her home (she lived with her parents). It was a wonderful evening with all the family, beautiful place settings, silver, linens, etc. and I realized how differently they entertain from North Americans. Maybe that’s part of the reason they are more hesitant to become close, because having you get to know them and their families is a major, major step and, unlike typical North Americans who are casual in their welcome, the French don’t take friendship lightly.
Dude, we are talking about visiting not living there. If you just want to visit for 10 days and cannot have friendly encounter, Darn, forget about it. I will spend my money somewhere. They can keep their French if that is so precious to be French. No one wants to take it away from you.
@@luckarl Exactly. Every other nationality in the world speaks to people and socializes in hostels etc.
Not the French. They're either super insecure or snooty or both.
One told me it's because they don't want to be judged for their "bad English" but there are two solutions to that, French folk:
1) Improve your English. One easy way is to SPEAK IT with others!
2) Stop judging and mocking others because then you won't think about others judging and mocking you (or assume they are when they're definitely not).
@@leenieledejo6849 and @luckarl : "I will spend my money somewhere" Here, you are making a HUGE cultural error. For French (and many Europeans places) money is not an argument. We don't care if you spent your Dollars here or elsewhere. We don't wait after YOUR money. You are mentally so enslaved to these Dollars that it becomes justification.
“Improve your English” oh well ? and why ? because you spent money to come here ? What would justify us speaking English? What justifies YOU don't speak French (I'm waiting for a real answer)?
How many times have I helped tourists in Paris to find their way, even going extra KM to get them to the right place because they were panicking. Not to mention the Americans who stick their map in your face and tell you “we want to go there”. No "hello" or "excuse me for disturbing you". For me, the cutest people when they ask for help are Italians. But above all, we work (the vast majority of us do not work in tourism) so spending time helping or talking friendly means leaving work later in the evening.
France is a magnificent country, which welcomed 100 million tourists in 2023. More than the French population itself. This represents 7.5% of GDP while for Greece it is 25% of GDP. Our country is so idealized (Architecture, culture, art of living...) that it becomes a pipe dream. Obviously some tourists will be disappointed or even feel cheated and i can understand that.
When I go to the USA, Spain, Portugal ... i don't ask to behave as I see fit. In N.Y. trying to talk to someone is complicated unless the guy has something to sell you. I made the effort to speak English and that's normal. I find it a shame that the Americans I met didn't speak French and when they tried it was so bad that frankly they could make an effort to learn it better. Do you see how this language argument is rotten? You are asking us to do what you would not tolerate being imposed on you.
And don't get me wrong, I've traveled a lot and found friendly, indifferent, stupid people everywhere. France is no exception.
"If you just want to visit for 10 days and cannot have friendly encounter, Darn, forget about it" What do you expect really ? French speakers have no problem having friendly relations with other French speakers. But don't ask for something you can't get if you don't speak the language. With luck you will come across a French person who speaks English fluently. But it is rare. Because you are in France and we don't have the necessity to speak English. And it's not because France is a tourist country that everyone has to speak English.
To finish, you should know that movies and series in English language are dubbed into French. I don't think I'm wrong if I tell you that it's the same for Italy and Spain but not systematically in German or Dutch. On the other hand, there are many countries in Europe and around the world that provide subtitles. The impact on language knowledge is enormous.
@@leenieledejo6849or as a tourist, begin to learn French language, that’s a minimum of respect
@@leenieledejo6849 "Many French are afraid of making errors so they're afraid to speak English." - "Then just improve by speaking English" - It's like telling a depressed person to just be happier. Or an American to just speak quietly in Europe. Or to just use the metric system. It's easy, just do it! /s
The number of people I saw there, who clearly watched Emily in Paris and even dressed like Emily, was amusing. Life in Paris has nothing to do with that TV show. Even more difficult for someone who is briefly visiting. No place in the world will be just like the what you see in the movies. It shows a lack of cultural knowledge when someone get all their conclusions from a TV show. I am Brazilian American, and I could spot tourists in Paris from day 1.
PS: I love Canadians (in general, obviously). ❤🇨🇦
It seems as if this woman is a tourist, not someone looking to move to France. What was she looking for when she decided to go to France? My first trip in my early 20's I had no expectation. I was looking forward to an experience that was different than being in the US. I did a lot of research before going so that I had an idea of what I wanted to see & do. I was thirlled to see up close & personal a lot of the art I had studied in school. We had no Algerian Couscous restaurants where I lived in the US. I had never experienced a Tunisian sandwich shop. I was so excited to see the architecture. I loved travelling by train--not really possible in the US. Of course it would have been great to find a French friend in the midst of all of that. I didn't go with any expectation & I felt saturated with everything that was new. I caught on quickly that manners were critically important. I noticed that everyone said Bonjour when entering a business no matter what it was--patisserie, market, clothing boutique, restaurant or the hotel I was staying at. At that time it was rude to touch money during most financial transactions. I saw how it was done & I followed suit. I put my money on the plate or the mat by the cash register & waited for my change to be put on that before picking it up. I have spent a lot of time in France. I learned the language. I developed a circle of friends (& a boyfriend).
As a fellow Canadian I feel if someone visits my country and doesn’t speak English or French and are polite, I am glad they came! We should all be welcoming of others who visit our home. It breaks down barriers, something this world needs. ❤
Agreed!!
Following your own logic, if this person visiting Canada were to be impolite, you would not be glad they came, is that it ? Well, then everything depends on what we mean by "being polite", doesn't it ? You see, in France, it is generally considered impolite behaviour to be a dumbass. People will basically want nothing to do with you if you are so uncultured as to present yourself as a walking cliché. How many French people do you think actually wear a beret in 2024 ? Pitié.
Ce n'est pas comparable. Les ordres de grandeur sont démesurés en France.
100 000 000 de touristes en 2023 (plus que la population française). 37 000 000 de touristes rien qu'à Paris qui compte 2 000 000 d'habitants et le chiffre monte à 3 000 000 en journée de semaine avec les travailleurs habitant hors Paris. Paris c'est 10km sur 10km. Ce n'est pas très grand. 12 000 000 de touristes à Paris juste sur les mois de Juillet et Aout 2023 (français et étrangers)!
Vous seriez dans une rue ou proche d'un site touristique qu'au bout de quelques minutes vous en auriez assez d'être interpelé parce que vous avez votre travail à rejoindre ou des enfants à aller chercher ou je ne sais quoi encore. Au début vous le faites avec le sourire parce que vous savez que ces gens-là sont en vacances et que vous voulez qu'ils passent un bon moment. J'ai même parfois recommandé ou déconseillé des lieux, accompagné des touristes perdus vers la bonne station de métro, la bonne rue. Et cela se répète souvent à partir du printemps jusqu'à l'automne.
Donc c'est facile d'incriminer les gens qui y habitent ou y travaillent. Mettez-vous à leur place.
I visited Paris and try to learn a few words, especially “excuse me, do you speak English”, try to speak their language first shows respect to them and I had no problem finding help! Love it and can’t wait to go back.
Rick Steves recommends learning a few words. On my only trip to Paris in 2013 I learned a few and when I tried to speak French they would respond in English as my French was so poor but they knew I tried. I'm hoping to return next year. But yes their culture is very different then the US and doing research is very helpful before a trip.
I had the opposite. I know some Spanish and Italian, so it made it easier to learn some French. I ALWAYS said bonjour, do you speak any English in French, I could say I don't speak French in French and other sentences. My interactions with Parisians that were all negative was when no one was speaking, like watching them on the metro and watching them on the sidewalk do certain things and how rude they were
I worked for two French families in America. One family was fluent in English and the other spoke not one word of English. There was no difference between them culturally; it is difficult to get close. They keep a distance that is hard to understand but easy to adjust to. They were great employers who were instructive and fair.
I think there might be several factors playing in how the creator if feeling.
1. France is one of, if not the most visited country in the world with flocks of tourists arriving every year in big cities but also the countryside. As a French person myself, living in Paris, it can be very overwhelming, especially during spring and summer. The cities become even more densely populated, the narrow streets are fuller, traffic becomes crazier... it all makes daily life a little bit more stressful as it would be in any metropolis. It happens often that after the 3rd time someone stops you on the streets and speaks to you directly in English, you might not have the patience to interact and switch language instantly. I do believe people make the effort, but it can be hard sometimes to switch
2. Speaking of language, I think French people are very aware of the average to below average master of the English language and can be scared of miscommunication or misunderstanding. I think most would rather tell you they don't speak English than trying to and make you waste your time. This is also applicable to making friends. Including a non-speaker to an already existing group of friends might mean putting the pressure of speaking English to all the members of the friendship group, having to explain some slang, some references, etc, which takes time and effort.
3. The anglo-saxon culture is wide spread in the media, so it can be easier for a non-American, non-British, non-Canadian person to understand and adapt to that culture (it would be very surprising for a Danish person to stop a New Yorker in the street in Danish). French culture is a bit less well-known in terms of social codes for example and I think maybe, as non-Amrican/non-Brits.etc people have an easier tasks blending in thanks to media, it can be baffling to feel like you can't blend in as others do in your country.
This is not fact-based, just some opinions :)
You read my mind. As a French person excessive tourism can get very overwhelming. That said I’m French but free up all over the world due to my parents jobs but u always retained the French “keep your distance “ stance. Not because I don’t want to get to know people but rather because I prefer to get to know people slowly. It’s not so much that we have to have friends from childhood. We make friends throughout our lives but yes, we are take our time. It feels fake to us I guess. But I do feel for that poor girl. She must have felt very isolated but when you travel you need to learn so go with the flow.
I dated a French man, and he would not react immediately to anything I said. Very true. However he was very sentimental. I walked into his home and he lit candles all over for dinner. When he wanted to have a discussion he'd wrap his arms around me. He bought me a simple chocolate bar at a show and spent the time feeding me piece by piece. However, trying to get a rise of emotion? Oh, he had to warm up to that. He was very serious. He rather debate than say exactly what he was thinking.
Totally agree with you! I did an exchange in France during university and made friends that I still visit today. When I arrived, I spoke intermediate French but could speak very well by the end. I’ve continued my French and now speak better than I did then, and I’ve had no troubles making French friends or enjoying my stays there.
I think what you said is spot on - you have to show some initiative, but I’ve found people to be quite receptive. They do have a lot of pride in their culture and language, so I’ve found that they really enjoy sharing it with people who appreciate it!
Good job Ariel, articulate and well thought out commentary. When I was a tourist in Paris, I did not expect 'open arms' because I was simply a visitor in a foreign country.
As a resident, however, my experience has been slightly different. My husband and I moved from the States to the Dordogne countryside 2 years ago. We are a bit of a curiosity out here as Americans and that might explain why several residents of our (very small) commune have made an effort to talk with us and in several cases invite us over as part of their group of friends- but effort is involved to keep the experience going for sure. The two true friends we have made here are both older French women, one of whom was a neighbour when we first arrived and fell in love with our dogs (!), the other a retired professor who volunteered to help us with (more) French lessons. They are now both good friends. Keep up the good work! Love your vlogs on the arrondissements and Greece.
I live 20 years in Toronto Canada and can also say Toronto people are very concentrated on the high school/ adolescent/ family friends and very hard to penetrate local Toronto people. most of my friends over the years were new arrivals immigrants who didn't grow up in Ontario. so about people congregating with their own childhood friends, it's an easy connection and takes place in any country.
having spent a lot of time in France in the past 2 years, I find the French the most polite and receptive people but only after being able to have good lengthy discussions with them.
North Americans receive friends very casually and calls everybody friends. whereas for French, friendship means having endured a lot of experiences , conversations, debate over apéros before one is considered friend , intimate for personal talk and introduction to family.
I started solo travel 2 years ago. I go into a place to appreciate the city, food , people but I cannot ever expect people to entertain me as thus tiktoker does.
Exactly. I'd rather have someone consider me as their friend but actually mean it. Instead of just throwing the word around casually. I found Toronto a very cold and difficult place to deal with in terms of friendships.
I spent a year in Chambéry when I was in my early twenties, and I've returned several times through the years. I made wonderful friends when I was there, and I found French folks to be friendly whenever I traveled. Now, at 70, I'm returning with my wife to cheer my nephew on in his Paris Marathon run, and we'll be visiting old friends in the Alps. I'm a true introvert, but I do speak French (better now than then), and I found that people reached out to me and were eager to include me in their lives when I was there. I joined communty ski and hiking clubs, sang in the cathedral choir, played basketball at the university (badly), played guitar with other students (all French), sang in a local cafe, and regularly put myself out there. It was often hard, but it was also life changing.
I visited Paris in May of 2023 and was treated very well and I only used simple French words like Bonjour and Merci.
Merci ❤
Well it helps that you are a white female. I am an Asian female that visited Paris for the first time in April 2024. I was racially discriminated, ignored, called a racist name and stared down angrily and glared at by several French people (Strangers on the street) even though I waved at them and said "Bonjour" to them all when I noticed them staring at me. They never greeted me back but continued to give me a hateful stare down. If you are a white female with blonde hair, then you have an entirely different experience than an Asian female. White people get treated a LOT better than Asian-Americans. I also said "Bonjour," "Merci Beaucoup," and "au revoir," and "s'il te plaît" to every French person I encountered first and smiled. It's was very painful when they discriminated against me by taking one look at me and automatically hating me for being Asian. I had no choice to be born Asian. God made me this race.
Paris is completely different from Lyon. I'm from Mexico City, I have been living in France for almost 19 years, here in Lyon 18 years and 6 months. So I can speak about the way they are here. I agree with this lady! One thing is to come to Paris as a tourist another thing is to come to live. You should come to live here, then you tell us how it was! 😁
@@creativesouldier2130 I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s terrible. 😞
@@ITXSHEL Yes, I’m sure the experience is very different.
My first trip to Europe was with in High School with my Spanish teacher. We started in England/France & ended in Greece/Italy. I remember her pointing out that as we get further South, the people get more relaxed and open. That was in the 1980’s and it is still true.
We were in Paris for 10 days a couple of years ago. We did not find near as many people that spoke English as in Rome but found no one rude or dismissive of us. We won't hesitate to return when we get an opportunity.
Maybe you tried to say "hello" and "goodby" in french ? it's simple but it is really efficient to make people more nice with any visitor. French also do know they are "bad" in englsih or any foreigns langages for many reasons. Mostly "old" french people are "bad" in english langage since anybody younger than 50's yo have to learn at least some english langage as first foreign langage. And now children learn foreign langages (english always first) at so young age.
Well, as a Parisian and Frenchie i dont blame her, we are quite the cold bunch. The « Paris Syndrom » is a tangible thing. Poor girl.
Especially "tangible" when you feel the Paris syndrom in Lyon...
MOST AMERICANS that visit Paris do not REALIZE that a simple "BONJOUR" will transform their experiences into great ones!
Nah, they are rude in situations where no one is speaking. For instance, riding the metro and people coughing and sneezing in your face without convering their mouth or turning away. Or watching a dog walker be mean to dogs. Or watching a business person carrying something heavy down the sidewalk and people cutting them off while they're carrying something heavy or cutting off older people that can't walk fast enough. Cut off people walking down the steps in the metro.
@@tone03tone😂 Tu vas dans n'importe quelle grande métropole dans le Monde et tu pourras voir ce type de situation. Il y a même probablement des villes pires que Paris à ce niveau-là.
@d3swu57 Nothing like this in Bangkok or South America. SEA and South America have some of the greatest hospitality cultures. Nothing like this even in cities in Italy or Belgium or Netherlands. There's a reason even French people say Parisians are rude. But that's not my point. My point was the first commentator blaming it on Americans not saying Bonjour first and I have plenty of examples where no one was speaking.
Local people aren’t around to make tourists feel good on holiday. They’re just trying to get on with their ordinary, working lives made tenuous by tourism. Cruise ships cause big disruptions to infrastructure in small cities. Tourists mob local shops, transport, walkways, parks - interrupting how locals go about their daily lives. Don’t expect them to out themselves by smiling. (If you’re stepping outside of America, take time to learn enough language to get by in the non-English speaking places you’re visiting. Become acquainted with cultural etiquette and customs.)
Premièrement le fait que la France soit le pays le plus visité au monde, 80 million de touristes pour 67 million d’habitants, fait que les Français vivants dans les villes et lieu les plus visités sont constamment assaillis par des touristes qui leur demandent constamment des renseignements et 99% dans une langue qui n’est pas le Français. Cela entraîne un comportement de leur part qui se manifeste par une sorte de carapace froide pour ne plus être ennuyé. Car il ne faut pas oublier que les touristes (souvent anglo-saxons) se comportent comme s’ils étaient dans un parc d’attractions remplis de guides de voyage, en oubliant que les gens qu’ils croisent sont des gens qui travaillent et essayent tant bien que mal de vaquer à leurs occupations au milieux de tout ça. Si vous allez dans les coins moins fréquentés par les touristes, vous verrez le comportement des locaux complètement changer. Ensuite je tiens à dire que le french bashing incessant des anglo-saxons sur les réseaux sociaux, les film, les séries TV, les tabloïds commencent sérieusement à agacer de plus en plus de Français. Se faire moquer à tous bouts de champ et voir constamment nos soldats morts , nos résistants et nos aïeux se faire traiter de lâche par rapport à la seconde guerre mondiale, incite de moins à vouloir être jovial et chaleureux avec des personnes qui sont identifiées comme de nationalité anglaise ou américaine, par exemple. J’ai des témoignages autour de moi de plein de personnes qui ne supporte plus ce manque de respect de grand nombre de vos compatriotes envers la France et son peuple.
100% d'accord sur tout ce que vous dites.
Pour abonder dans votre sens, dans les films et les séries américaines, souvent quand il y a un Français, c'est un cambrioleur, un escroc, un traître ou un lâche. Les Françaises sont généralement montrées comme des séductrices vénales et sans scrupules. On appelle ça du sexisme.
J'ai beau chercher, je n'arrive pas a trouver une "oeuvre" audiovisuelle des USA montrant des Français qui ne soient pas diffamatoires
La haine des Français véhiculée par certains médias est tout simplement de la xénophobie décomplexée.
Salut Antibash. En ce qui me concerne je vis dans un biotope préservé, encore aucun anthropologue n'est venu souiller notre sol, toujours pas de safari en 4x4 pour cinéastes en herbe dans les chemins creux normands. Plutôt que d'accabler les parisiens comme le font beaucoup de jeunes français dans ces colonnes, j'aurais tendance à les plaindre. La différence entre le parisien et moi-même c'est que lui il se voit percuté quotidiennement par ce décalage culturel dont il serait presque coupable... en prime il se rend compte de l'absence de solidarité de la part de ses compatriotes ! Quoi qu'en disent certains, la manne de fric venant du tourisme indiffère 90% des français; par ailleurs l'argent dépensé en moyenne par le touriste étranger s'avère selon les statistiques notoirement moindre qu'aux USA ou en Suède; je n'ai rien à vendre ni aucune prestation à produire envers nos visiteurs et par conséquent je tiens à le dire le tourisme m'est étranger. Surtout, je n'ai aucunement observé que les parisiens étaient des Homos Erectus d'une autre branche et le plus lamentable dans tout ça vient de la participation des jeunes français à la destruction de l'image de leur nation. Amis français, cessez de vous excuser ! Renvoyez la baballe avec humour, notamment aux trolls (plus qu'à nos amis parisiens).
Bien dit 👍
I don't think "cold" is a good word. I like reserved or formal better. I can understand feeling isolated as a solo traveler but I think that can happen anywhere. I also think the dynamics of living or working in a large city encourages a bit of distance because it's always a bit overwhelming just dealing with the logistics let alone being open to other people. Language can also be difficult for both sides. The French feel as insecure about using English as we do about speaking French. I agree that people have unrealistic expectations. I watched a lot of videos showing people having a perfect wonderful time in Paris but constantly reminded myself that I was seeing a highly edited version of their trip. No trip is perfect. The goal should be to figure out what you want out of a trip and then to be flexible.
I've heard someone describe the coolness of the French (generally speaking) as being "unbothered." I think this nails it.
New Yorkers are the same. Not frankly very friendly
@@nancywages7029New Yorkers will chat with you
@@Tamar-sz8ox even if you dont speak english at all and start with french, german or some foreign langages ?
@@nancywages7029 that’s what I said…it’s the unui
As an American in Japan, a lot of what you said about French people also applies to Japanese people, especially their lasting friendships with people they went to junior high school, high school and university with. One major difference is that a lot of Japanese people would love to talk to a foreign traveller, especially if they seemed to need some help. But they get too hung up on thinking they have to speak perfect English, which comes from the general fear of being seen to make mistakes.
Just the other day one of my students told me she saw a young Western couple in the station standing in front of the ticket machines, looking confused. She stood there for a while having that familiar internal debate, until finally a young Indian woman came up and offered to help them. So I told her to imagine that I was looking confused in the station, and try to offer help to me. And she did very well, obviously because she's known me a long time and is very comfortable with me.
So I reminded her of a point I've made with my students probably hundreds of times. Language and communication, not to mention life, aren't always about comfortable and perfect. They're much more often about messy, and just getting the job done the best you can. Any exchange in a foreign language can easily turn into a messy, confusing adventure, but nobody's going to get hurt. No blood will be spilled. And if you don't try then there's just...nothing. And where's the fun in that?...
I was in Paris 5 months ago and will be again in March. This is not my experience. I found most French as helpful as people here in Seattle. But then, the Seattle freeze is real. I truly enjoyed my time there. And I look forward to being there again.
as an east coast american, i'm amazed at how negative west coast people are about their surrounding. very rare to find a positive statement coming from anybody from the west coast. always thought it would be a nice place to live but just seems like a horrible place. seems like only nasty people live on the west coast.
@@mikedanbury2098Not the case here in L.A.. Most who live here go on about how much they love it. But they complain about the traffic. Everyone does. It sucks. 😁
Glad to hear not is all terrible for my west coast family. It gets disheartening to hear only bad things going on over there.
@@mikedanbury2098 In my experience, those comments are mostly made by people not living here, who are trying to "bring California down" for personal reasons. This place isn't perfect. It isn't my personal fav place on earth, but it is a very comfortable place to live!
The Seattle freeze is so real! I love it. It's so lush and green for a city. But when I visited for the first time, I asked an employee at a shop for directions to another store. I'm from the East coast near Philadelphia. We're not the friendliest but not afraid to go up to people. She looked at me like I was asking her to rip her arms off and give them to her.
Honestly, no matter where it is, if you choose to visit a foreign nation (even if it is just for a vacation), it really is best to at least try to learn the basics of whatever the native language is. Even without being fluent, if it is obvious that you are truly making an effort, people are way more likely to help you.....sometimes they'll even help you with the language. It's also best to stick to the major cities instead of the countryside or rural areas. Besides language, appropriate etiquette when out in public should also be something taken into account before choosing to travel internationally.
I think you did a really good job handling this and explaining your perspective in a balanced and nonjudgmental way.
I enjoy your videos so much and always learn something new! You are an excellent teacher!
Très bonne vidéo, j’ai adoré merci ❤
Merci ! ☺️
I've been literally all over France and it has always exceed my expectations. I relearn the language every time I go and I have had zero problems with the French. As a matter of fact I had the opposite problem with the language. I am speaking French and everyone wants to speak English with me. And it's not because they don't understand me "my French is pretty good", it's because they want to practice. My opinion is that she needs to stop behaving like a tourist. The beret was the first no-no.
France is not for extroverts solo tourists 🤣🤣 that all!!
If u introvert u will enjoy your peaceful trip 😎
First off take off the damn Beret!!! It's so cliche that I'm American and I feel insulted!!!! I have been to France twice and loved every single second!!!!! I learned some French phrases and tried so hard to not stick out and I had many lovely experiences as a woman traveling on her own.
what a snob. as an American i feel insulted by you. maybe it is cliche but she was trying. everybody has their own preconceptions about other places. who are you to be insulted for her not to know everything about french culture. also the fact that you had to work hard not to stick out to have a lovely time makes me very happy to be an american. say what you want about america but i no need to work hard not to stick out here to have a good time here
I am also a solo traveler, who is very introverted. I stay in hostels and rent rooms thru Airbnb. It is a great way to make friends. I was in Paris and find the French people nice. I have never had any negative experiences while in Paris. ( I try to go every year or two.) taking a free walking tour also helps to meet people. I should say I am from the Seattle area which is nicknamed the Seattle freeze. Love your videos
That's why for us Europeans the North American demeanour of being overly expressive just comes off as fake and forced. If you're always smiling or positive it really loses all its meaning imho.
I feel bad for the girl in the Beret! I have traveled solo and sometimes it does feel that way. I don't mind it, because I am free to be with my own thoughts. I have traveled to France alone but I did do this to avoid that feeling - I got on a dating app and met a guy before I got there. He basically stayed with me during my entire time. Not that everyone should do that but it's similar to coming here to NY - I don't expect the same friendliness you find in Italy where people come up to you and talk to you. I do want to tell her, no one really wears berets LOL. Anyway, solo travel sometimes means being willing to enjoy your own company and still go to dinner, still go to parties, and do everything you would if someone is with you. I have met lifelong friends through solo travel - doesn't happen when I come with a group.
It would be tricky to make a video that some people could take offense with, but you did it thoughtfully and honestly.
I’ve been to France twice and thoroughly enjoyed both visits. We’re heading back this summer to Nice, Lyon and Avignon. I’ve learned some basic words and it was fine, people were nice and helpful. It may be different as a solo traveler or living there longer term… you really need to learn the language in those cases. I also love Spain, Switzerland is beautiful, Germans are fun and honest, Budapest is nice to visit but not live, Amsterdam is PARTYEEE city and not for me.
My husband and I travel to Paris often and only encountered the “cold” mentality on our first trip as ignorant tourists who didn’t say Bonjour or Merci. We’ve never had any issues since. At the same time we’ve never actively sought out friends during our travels. Growing up near NYC I’d honestly say Parisians are way friendlier than New Yorkers.
And as a non Parisian frenchie I can tell parisians, here in France, are known to be not the most friendly french people.
How wonderful that you had such a good time in Greece! Greeks have a tradition of being kind and hospitable to foreigners and travelers - this is an important characteristic of Greeks and has been instilled in everyone there for thousands of years! You really felt this way of treating people as a positive and caring thing - it has a special name - filotimo. This word and concept even appears in ancient Greek writings!
From my experience mainly from traveling in the military, i have the opposite feeling about being in foreign countries. I try to pick up some of the local language. I found the French people to be polite but not rude. I will being going to France in July 2025 and Iam looking forward to it , as is my wife.
Haven't read all the comments, but I agree with the French who try to explain the apparent coldness of the French, especially among Parisians (this is much less the case outside the capital).
First, there are certain codes to respect. There are times and places to socialize. Outside of these moments, the French will be in their bubble. To enter this bubble requires a delicate approach. If the French are rude, it is precisely because when foreigners address them, according to their point of view, they are rude by ignoring the codes for making contact. We don't break this bubble with big gestures or by being in a hurry. A bit like the Japanese, making contact with a stranger requires a lot of precaution, even deference, and sometimes, time. In the street (especially when you're walking), I don't even talk about it, it's almost a golden rule not to pay attention to who enters your bubble: 90% of the time, it's unpleasant.
Then, and this goes in the same direction, the French are cerebral. If strangers come to you, it is rarely to "socialize", but rather to ask for a favor. Remember that Paris is the number one destination in the world, and it should be easy to understand that Parisians do not work during their break time or their travel time for the tourist office. Also, when you submit a problem, a difficulty, a request to a French person, he will not necessarily welcome you with a big smile and ask you if your whole family is well and how your trip went..., he will try to understand and respond to your problem. The Frenchman is not cold, he is... concentrated and completely absorbed in solving a problem or answering a question. And when you're in a hurry to get home, you're even less likely to want to respond to strangers.
So it’s all a question of circumstances. You can be a stranger, for example, if you enter a private space (as opposed to all public spaces), the French become warm. There is just a very clear distinction in France between the relational level whether we are in a public or private place. Public space is not made for socializing and everyone must respect the other's living space. This includes not speaking loudly, saying "bonjour" or waiting until to be sure the person is receptive to you interrupting them and entering their living space. Even in private, the French are less expressive, it's true, and very expressive people will tend to "saouler" (exhausted by excess commitment, sensitivity, expressiveness). We must also see this as a question of respect, even if very expansive characters can also exist, but they then express themselves more often in private space. I think in other cultures the line between public and private space is much more blurred.
That was really interesting, thanks for explaining it so well.
I think they do learn English, just like the kids here in Germany, but maybe the emphasis is different. In Germany, students take mandatory lessons sometimes four days a week (depending on the level of school). When my son did an exchange with a school in Aix-en-Provence in 7th grade, our kids were able to speak much better French than their kids German. So we tried to speak to English with them and that was a waste of time. Either they were all incredibly shy or the ability was just not there.
Also, I have noticed a change in the friendliness of French people over the years, the few times I've been there. The first time, about 35 years ago, although I was able to speak fluent French (back then), most people were very rude. But over the years, each time I return, it gets better! People are friendlier now, sometimes even talk to us in a park!
There is a history between France and Germany... Until 50 years ago, the bad guys in French films were always Germans! I remember that when I was 14 years old at the beginning of the 80s, I had taken a language trip with a German family (very nice) and the family had complimented me because I reminded them of Charles de Gaulle (at 14 years!!) and for them, De Gaulle was a positive figure because he had reached out to Adenauer to bring West Germany out of its isolation after WW2. 4 years later, at 18, I took a trip on foot and hitchhiked with a friend in Brittany. One evening on a beach we met 2 young Germans (who had managed to make a campfire while it was raining) and the first thing they said to us was that "they apologized for the war" (even though they had no more participation in it than I did).
European construction and time have gradually erased the resentments of the French towards the Germans, but 35 years ago, they were perhaps a little stronger than today...
This girl is NUTS!! I have been going to Paris alone every year for the past 20yrs and I absolutely love being there!
You love it there ... but do you speak the language ... do you have friends who invite you to their homes? ... People who "love Paris" ... eat, gawk, shop (maybe), walk but how many friends do they make?
@@lb8781 Making friends in Paris is hard even for french people, it's big city most poeple have their 'true' friends and familly outside of it. And in France we dont let anybody come in our home as easy as many other countries, so if people are only short time tourists, chances are high we will not invite them in our home.same here we need time for make real friends, but once you got a friend here, it's a real one for good and bad moment, always here with you, not only for going to parties, have drink and food :p
@@lb8781do you make friends with people who visit your city? It's on the visitor to make contact, and it's actually polite to at least soeak a few words of the language.
I think you explained that extremely well. My take on all this is if you visit a foreign country, you are the one who must adapt to the culture, to the food, and the language. My experiences visiting France have been quite good in that if you make an effort, let’s say to speak in French they really appreciate that and will help you to the best of their ability if needed.
And I should also like to mention that you need to take your Christmas stockings down now. Lol And one more thing, you should always wear that colour green. You look absolutely stunning !
I am from Lyon. This city has universities all over the place, with a huge proportion of foreign students. The most popular hangout in the city (right next to where she is standing on the video whining) is an Australian pub on a boat. If you didn't manage to find a single person to talk to in this place that is the most welcoming city for foreigners in the country, there must be something wrong with you.
Cold? Unexpressive? Not willing to reveal feelings? Not my experience. But then, I speak good French. Et surtout, I always, always, always lead with that language when in France. My French friends, many of them educated, erudite speakers of English as a second language, are almost always irritated by people who will not or cannot learn enough of their illustrious mother tongue to be able to manage a polite, properly accented conversation opener leading to an inevitable apology for not speaking the language of the country they are so happy to visit. Instead, the guest demands that the host accommodate THEM. That’s not polite, and French people, who coined the term “politesse” must be forgiven for reacting accordingly. How would an American feel about a Chinese tourist who refused to learn even a basic phrase or two, instead expecting their hosts to speak Chinese?
Regarding people who are unexpressive and guarded, have you ever visited Japan?
Thanks for this comment, I totally agree
It's actually the host that should be welcoming.
Did you know that the word "hospitality" (and "hospital", "hospice" etc) comes from the Latin for "stranger/guest"?
It's from Matthew 25:35 where Jesus says "I was a stranger and you welcomed me" ("hospes eram et collexistis me").
Even in cultures with no (or little) Christian heritage, hospitality and welcome to strangers is important.
Where on earth did you get this idea that the onus is on the guest??
I have never heard that in my life.
@@leenieledejo6849 So the french hosts (NB all citizens here are not touristics host, some just live their live with no need of any tourists, let be clear about it) should learn many dozens of langages to be nice with all the differents people comming visiting France ? that's your point ? Really ? like they should learn English (ofc since it has NEVER been their native langage ...) then also Spanish, German, Italian (all those are close neighbours but let's continue your logic ..) also Chinese, Japanes, Korean, Russian, Sweden, Arabian, Persian, Indian langages ... all those langages ? Just to follow your logic and a religious book (France is a laic country so ... mention religious book is, at least, a proof of deep ignorance about what France is)
@@leenieledejo6849 If you invite someone into your house, then, yes, there is some expectation that you try and make things nice for your guest.
But French people are not hosts, they haven't invited you into anything, they're just people living their lives. So they haven't taken on that obligation for themselves.
It's like you have (however temporarily) joined a club: this club consists of all the people living in France and one of the rules of the club is that you generally speak in French. You wouldn't join any other club and then immediately complain that you didn't actually want to follow any of the rules!
"Hello, I just joined the village football club, I was just wondering when the first rugby match is?"
"What do you mean? This is a football club you just joined, we don't play rugby."
"So, you're saying you're not going to put on rugby matches for me? You're so unwelcoming!"
"Uh..."
As an American living in Japan I agree that people here are usually quite reserved when dealing with strangers. But with friends or family or even co-workers, especially when they get some alcohol in them, Japanese people can be among the most expressive people you'll ever see...
Our cities are overwhelmed by tourists.we are definitely not going to learn English just too welcome more .We have no interest in doing that.Plus,every country has its own culture,if you don’t like it,stay in your local Starbucks in San Francisco.
(Sorry for my bad English I’m french)
Okay so I don’t know if it’s just a cultural shock or something but why do tourists (especially Americans one) want to be friends with the people living in the country they are visiting?
I go to England every year (expect in 2020 and 2021 because of Covid) since 2017 because I absolutely LOVE this country and it never crossed my mind to try be friend with anyone. When I go to a different country it’s to try the local food, visite museum and castle, enjoy the nice architecture, learn more about the history… I don’t expect people to be nice and welcoming to me, i know they probably are already very busy going to work, seeing the doctor, or buying groceries, they don’t have my time and that’s normal! If I don’t want to be alone in my trip then I bring one of my friends with me. Like I don’t know I just don’t get it, could someone please explain to me 😭
I went on a river cruise in France last summer and only had positive experiences. We did go to some small villages that were used to having the ships come through, but often didn't really speak English. They were still helpful and welcoming. I did use a few French phrases to get by, but even on another trip in Bordeaux I found the people very welcoming and would speak to me in English before I hardly had a chance to greet them in French. 🤷♀️
"Indifferent" is the right description 🎯
I think you gave a fair and insightful explanation of cultural differences. This girl might have been traveling alone too and feeling that on top of the cultural difference. I've traveled a lot and taught in Europe and I agree that we are a guest in their countries and a foreigner and have to take the time or do the research to realize that there may be big differences in how people interact with others. If it's just a trip, we should still do some research but also realize that we aren't going to fully be able to engage with the culture and people on such a short term---even if, as in your Greece experience, they are immediately open and welcoming. We can be interested and open to learning but may have to accept a certain amount of loneliness in those experiences. I appreciate that you took the time to analyze and explain these things in a fair way rather than just diss the girl for her feelings.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am a French man married to a Mexican woman. We are living in Grenoble since 5 years. Your feedback is very close to the everyday life of my wife. It is indeed very hard for American people to integrate in France. On the contrary, it is very easy for Europeans to integrate and feel welcomed in America. My wife's experience really got me aware about the huge lack of empathy we carry in France. I remember in my previous job a phD student from India who did not speak French stayed in the company for a one month experience. Almost anyone in the company spoke to her, although most of my colleagues spoke very fluent English. She confessed me it was her worst experience in France and she just wanted to leave this place asap. France pretends to be the best country of the world because of its beautiful landscapes and very rich history. We are a very pretentious and nostalgic nation where in my point of view there is a lot to see but very few to share humanly speaking. To live in France as a foreigner even mastering the language is a very hard experience. I went to New York and Boston as a solo traveller one year ago and I could meet people easily in the street, bars, restaurants... It is something which would be unrealistic to do wherever the place in France. I can also witness about the warm you can feel from the mexicans that is completely from another world for french people.
Compare latinos cultures (known for being alot more "open" but not always so good also) to french culture and finish by saying it is "very hard experience" for any foreigner in any place in France, seems a bit strange. Ever tried Japan as a stranger, or Iran or Argentina or many other countries ? I'm Not sure experiences are better there. I can not put all other countries where living or visiting would be at least same or alot worst than in France. Not even talking about security in few countries, nice if everybody smiles but if you have 50% chance of being assaulted in the street, not sure it makes a good experience (I know some Venezuelians, all kind and smart people, all saying better never visit there)
Thank you. Agree!
I know what she means. Just recently another RUclips blogger who just came back from Paris her friend who is of Korean origin the Parisians wasn’t nice to her and they didn’t know why.
For the other RUclips blogger with friend who has asian roots, I think you have already provided a part of the explanation (without watching this content).
It really is all about what is the norm for the culture. American visiting Paris did not find French people to be rude but we also were in a small hotel in the 11th and took the Metro wherever we could. We'd walk to find dinner, then turn down a side street and down another until we found a small place that was always very accommodating. Were they overly friendly? No, but they were certainly friendly enough. We tried to speak our pathetic French but they usually spoke English back if they could. Much like the North in the US vs. the South. I've lived in both. People got no time for you in large cities in the North but if you ask for help, they'll help you a lot. In the South US, you can't get through the grocery store line without having a conversation and new knowledge of the best place for this or that. If you want really friendly people, go to Romania. A walk down a road and a simple "Hello, your garden is beautiful" (you have to gesture toward it, smile approvingly and nod as no one speaks English) results in a kitchen table sit down and a glass of Palinca. They'll offer the second but be warned, you can't walk afterward. Of course, they'll put you up for the night so it's no real problem.
I just subscribed to your channel, love it. I do agree with you but not 100%. We are not colder than all the other countries in the world. Scandinavian people are even colder except when they're drunk :). I travel a lot to Hungary, Croatia etc, it's not easy either when you're alone. Only serbians were wow wow wow, so friendly. We for sure are much more reserved and there is of course the language barrier... I'm sure a little "bonjour, excusez moi" helps a lot. Keep up the good work
Elle a acheté un chapeau français 😂😂😂😂
Hard to make generalisations about such a big country but I guess we have to. I’ve lived and worked here for almost 50 years. I do feel sorry for the lonely young lady in the clip, but the great thing about travel is you learn a lot about your own culture. It’s good for anyone, especially Americans like her, to understand that not everyone is aligned on their own behaviour and outlook.
The French are very different to Americans, despite all the exposure to the American way of life, as portrayed in the movies and on TV, video games, etc. The perceived coldness owes a lot to differing attitudes regarding privacy and personal space. If you roll up to a French person as if you’ve been bosom buddies for years, you will definitely make them feel very uncomfortable. Seeing a student sitting alone, a French person might naturally assume that this is her wish and that it would be impolite to approach her.
France is a country torn between its traditions and the ways of what it calls the “Anglo-Saxon” world. Something I have observed over the years, especially in the workplace, is a pervasive inferiority complex amongst the French. This is counterintuitive given their reputation for being grumpy and impolite!
Not getting invited to a French person’s home, especially in cities, might have something to do with their being ashamed of how small it is compared with what they see in American movies. If you want to break the ice with a French person, first try inviting them out for a meal. They will feel much more comfortable with this than home invitations. Remember, if you want to see French people at their best, the dinner table is the place to be!
Oh, and if as a tourist you only learn one word of French, it has to be “bonjour”. Make it the first word you say wherever you go. Don’t say “Hi” or, worse, just launch straight into a conversation in English.
Sorry if this is boring.
You're not boring, you're late. (And me a little more.) Which is proof of a certain form of "acclimatation". Very fair comment.
You're so right about French people not going out of their way to make friends with strangers, I wish I had known that when I went there with an Erasmus visa with one of my colleagues. Not one French student approached us and we were there studying with them for 3 months! And being the introvert that I am, I was too shy to approach them, but they didn't seem friendly at all or like they wanted to talk to us at all. On the other hand, I had absolutely no problem making friends with all the other Erasmus students I met on campus - Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, and German- and they were all super friendly. It makes sense that foreigners in another country connected more easily, but I still find it hard to understand how the French students had absolutely no curiosity or inclination to even talk to us. Especially when the language was not a barrier for us, we were studying French at the University and spoke well. It felt isolating and very similar to the experience you described about your first day at school.
When you travel, you have to research before you go. Traveling in my early 20s was during the 70s. Hardly anyone spoke English. Even Canada have Quebec 😂
Hello fellow Canadian! I have never responded to something like this before, however I just watched your video, I liked it very much because you seem to have nailed it with most of being a Expat here in France. I do understand that this was geared towards the young lady who was a tourist. I'm glad you have this vblog. My question is are you still in Paris? because there are many things I can mention to you for subject matter as I am also an expat. I've been here for 12years. I'll send you a private mail. Thank you so much for your time in blogging about certain topics. I'll watch some more of your videos😊👍
Wearing that hat tells me all I need to know about her expectations. France is amazing and the people are actually great. People in Paris in particular are very much like New Yorkers so I feel at home. They don’t need to be exuberant in front of every tourist. Tired of so many tourists thinking that locals need to bow in front of them or they are considered rude. Those from Asia in particular often get shell shocked by France because it’s not like the fairy tale Disney they’ve been shown in media. Look up “Paris Syndrome” in Japan.
As someone who moved to France from Canada in my 30s, I can relate to the feelings of loneliness and isolation but I don't fault the French for that - they have a specific culture and it's my responsibility to integrate, not the other way around.
The problem with so many tourists is that they treat France and Paris like it's an amusement park - it's not. People have lives, they have jobs, they get sick, they have to deal with French administration 😂
But seriously, the French can be very friendly but you have to get to know them first. It's not like in America where your server at a restaurant acts like your best friend even though you've never met them before and will likely never see them again. I actually feel it's more genuine in France - if they become friends with you it's because they actually like you. You still probably won't get an very observable emotional reaction from a lot of them, but they'll show friendship in other ways.
I learned early the French are more reserved. And that is totally ok. I’m sorry the tourist in the TikTok didn’t enjoy her time in Lyon.
One thing I know France and Italy are overhyped. Europe has so many more beautiful places where the people are much more friendly.
Try going to the French speaking part of Belgium. The same thing. If you don't speak French it's hard to even be aknowledge. Mind you I am a Black woman from Holland. France and Italy are beautiful but I will not visit again soon.
I totally agree with you, the French are different. Go to Spain, Portugal or Italy they are just friendlier………🤗🇨🇦
I get the impression that there are meet up groups of English speakers. Maybe comprised of travelers and locals. Google? Of course, you need to stay safe where you go and public. Group tours. I understand that its everyday activities where she feels this way. Personally I went to places alone in my 30's looking back for me it's sad. Imho.
It’s not realistic to think someone is going to learn French for a two week vacation. In Germany, they begin learning English in elementary school and are nearly fluent by graduation.
Yes I agree ! I didn’t learn Greek when I went to Greece so I totally get it. But I do think that if you don’t know the language then you have to assume you will have a harder time integrating :/ perhaps in Germany they learn English, but in the US or in Canada do we automatically learn German in elementary school ? Unfortunately, no… so why have the same expectations for other countries around the world ? Just my thoughts !
I think though that we Americans, don’t try very hard. I come from the US but have two kids who are raised in Europe and my kids had English in school since 1st grade, French since 5th grade and one child added Spanish in 8th grade, all simultaneously. And they have the attitude of, I must try to use what little I have.
When we went to Paris for a week, we all learned basic phrases. Well my kids actually understood and could speak some after 5 years of it in school. My husband had English and Latin in school and I had Spanish in school and Italian at home so no French exposure yet we tried hard and found everyone lovely and helpful in Paris because we tried hard and were humble.
In the U.S. I took Spanish for 7 years 6th grade through 12th grade. The Hispanic community was dramatically increasing and it was a higher chance of getting a job if you were bilingual. My youngest took Spanish for four years. Germany wasn’t on his radar at the time but his experience at college in Frankfurt is most people 50 and younger know English. We lived in Stuttgart for three years and my two oldest children learned English and German. My point really is if you are in the hospitality industry it is a benefit to have a minimal base knowledge of English, German, Italian etc. If a great amount of your cities income comes from tourism, I believe the effort should be on both sides because you should want them to have a pleasant experience. That’s why I would only go to Paris on a tour package where tours are led In English.
Loved this video! How has your boyfriend changed since meeting you?
Arielle, I appreciate how you gave a detailed explanation with relatable examples. Being from the US, broadly we are louder, more animated and outgoing. From my experience, there are some areas, usually smaller towns, that don’t welcome new people and you have hard time making friends. Other cities (like most of CA) majority of people are super friendly but you still aren’t making deep meaningful friendships. Maybe it’s our day and age, but interactions are superficial.
I'm glad to know French people aren't interested in interacting with people they haven't known for 100 years before taking my trip. Now I know what to expect and I won't take it personally.❄
French people can be distant towards each other as well
It is difficult to explain why
Is it lack of trust ?
Of perhaps lack of confidence
I would say the French ask themselves a lot of questions and they judge themselves very harshly
Expectations are high within families so a French person is brought up to believe that he / she is not good enough
They end up believing it
Thank you very much for your refreshing videos ✨🌷🧚♀️✨💕✨✨
I need to add that I have met some French people who were totally dedicated and so helpful
It is a country of very mixed cultures
And everyone needs to seek and maybe find its place , which will be in harmony with who one is
No it's just that we respect boundaries and privacy. We do not rush at people assuming that if they don't come to you it's because they want to on their own.
@@olsita4555 c'est dingue qu'ils arrivent pas à comprendre ça
sorry ? no, its just because contrarly to "anglo saxon" mentality, we respect each other boundaries, and we are not superficial in friendship, we dont like sound FAKE.
As a person that has strong Asian features, I usually have a hard time approaching people (even those in hospitality, lol) for help. Literally running away from me as I approach until I speak French.
Most people I know (that doesn't speak French) who visit France either for work or leisure generally don't have a good time. But my experience is mostly good since I speak the language even if I am not very good. Good point on never expecting locals to accommodate you especially if you cannot communicate efficiently.
As a Filipino, we are totally different as people here are mostly very welcoming and we'd accommodate anyone as much as we could. Before visiting France, i know most people could be "cold" but it's really different when you experience it. But since I have set my expectations, I just tried my best to be independent and make things work.
Paris is a beautiful city if you know where to look. I have no problems touring alone, bonus if i meet people along the way who would be patient with my franglais, lol.
Would suggest to be on a group tour with a french-speaking guide if you speak 0 french for a better experience especially going there the first time.
I've only been to France once, for a wedding in Nantes. Most of the French people we were around spoke English and we used what French we had (not much) as often as we could. One of the funniest moments came when one of the groom's aunts said, "it's nice that you try so hard to speak such very bad French." When I tell that story to Americans they're horrified and think the woman was being rude. We didn't take it that way at all. We were on their turf, not ours. The best thing one can do before visiting a foreign country is to do some basic research about the culture, learn a few pleasantries/requests in the native language, and not expect the place they're visiting to be like where they're coming from.
She was not rude. It was a complement. Despite the fact you spoke French badly but put in the effort to continue she thought that was amazing. It is also about the culture and way of thinking. The English have a dark sense of humor that can make people uncomfortable if not used to it. All nations have different ways of thinking according to their cultural backgrounds.
Actually, she (the aunt) was just honest (from a French person's perspective) and brutally honest (from others' perspective) but honest, that is super important because acting like that you value the person in front of you. If she had wanted to be hypocritical and fake, she could have said : "Your French is amazing" (without thinking it at all).
You totally understand her, she was not rude ,she was just honnest. I think she told you what she really thought, you did not had the best french langage but it is really awesome that you keep trying. Most french people would do the opposite: if not sure about how to say it good, most will say nothing ^^' that's how we are.
It doesn’t take much to be kind like the folks in Greece.
Spend your time & money accordingly!
a British journalist wrote an article about the video of the American woman in Lyon. In a nutshell: in just a few days she expected to have relationships that the French take years to have with each other.
This girl annoyed me with the beret. I know French people from my school and they are not rude, but they kind of remind me of New Yorkers in a way, or Japanese people. They are very reserved and won't engage with you if you are a stranger. There has to be something transactional for them to even talk to you, like "what do you want" and not "how are you, I like your hat." Hat? Who cares. That's French people from my experience.
I can't speak their language but noone's talking to me - fuck sake 😂
Wow, This is interesting how someone's perception can vary depending of their country of origin, or their traveller experiences. I come from the French speaking part of Switzerland, and by no mean I would say that the French are cold and reserved (= not expressing their emotions) ! French people love to talk, discuss, argue, debate, etc. They express (and rant) A LOT, and I don't find them reserved in the least. But I admit that French being my mother tongue makes it way easier for me to connect with them. I actually love French people for their easy contact (they are not shy to express their opinion), elegance of manners, wide culture, and even their blunt honesty, acute critical sense and... heavy humour, go figure, lol. I also appreciate them for their way of being always ready to rediscuss a matter and reconsider their position. I find people in my country way colder and reserved, to say the truth.
I am going to France in late summer and this video has been interesting. Gives me some insight.
Most important to say "Bonjour" when entering most businesses. Many tourists are being rude as soon as they enter a business by not doing this, and will be treated as unmannerly as a result. This is a cultural quirk of the French, based on their perception of public and private spaces. Shops are private spaces of the business owner, so a respectful acknowledgement of their private space is considered basic politeness.
@@fridaytax thank you so much for this tip, I really appreciate it. As silly as it may sound, I think I am going to invest in babble (the on line language Tudor) and try to learn a little French. At least some basic. 😊. Thank you again
@@fridaytax It's more complicated than saying "bonjour", I think. If you walk in somewhere saying "hello" like you're a queen and expect to be treated like that because you used the magic word, it will be the same. Someone explained this very well: especially when you enter a business, in France, you are not dealing with an employee for whom the customer is king, you are often dealing with the owner of the place and you are literally entering his home. You should therefore not say "hello" loudly while showing your presence, but enter carefully to be sure not to disturb. We say "bonjour" once we meet the person's eyes and we must be very careful when addressing the person, as if we were talking about an injured stray cat^^. Same thing in the street which is a public and often avoid and transition place. This is unfortunately much more complicated than using simple tips.
The south is a bit different people seems cold but they are not …just some few words can break the ice bonjour aurevoir merci and a smile
En fait, nous n'avons pas envie de supporter des touristes lourds, qui ne font même pas l'effort de dire "bonjour" en français, qui s'adressent à vous en anglais, comme si nous étions obligés de parler leur langue.
In the example shown, where that woman was complaining how she was treated, in tears, stating that she even bought a "French" hat... that alone would be taken as a stereotypical insult that many foreigners have since the beret is not a "French" hat but more regionally worn in the Basque country of southwest France and into Spain. It would be like a foreigner buying a cowboy hat in New York City attempting to ingratiate himself or herself with your typical
New Yorker and wondering why that's not working....!!! Lol
I've seen plenty of French people in comments on Instagram say that they actually do wear a beret because people keep saying that none of them do. And people already do stereotype Americans anyway as cowboys, fat, loud, and monolingual
The last time I was in Paris before right before the pandemic, I had the best time there as a solo traveler. Yes, people is not very warm but they were nice. It was my second time there trying to find gusto for the city since my first time there wasn't uh ah for me 😂. I booked a couple of walking tours there and met a girl and after the your we had dinner. I went to Versailles got lost and had no problem getting help. When you go with high expectations and thinking everywhere you go will be the same as the last place you visited, you might get disappointed. I have felt lonely at times but because I am alone but not because where I am. Prague was a little challenging for me dye to the currency and some people not being so warm but still appreciated my time there, then again I met a nice group of people in a tour.
English proficiency is worse in Japan, but at least in Japan you get to feel the effort they express respect and politeness towards you. It is more indifference and coldness shown in France towards foreigners… just enjoy the sights, scenery and food.. don’t expect much else from the local people!!
My 18 year old daughter and I just returned back home (NYC) from being in Paris for 2 weeks. As a New Yorker, there IS a level of rudeness... 🤨
Can you give some examples ?
Just curious …
I'm definitively french ! I completely agree with mgparis and TheFrenchWhispererASMR. That's not a question of language, we would act exactly the same with french people.
If I would arrive in another french city and somebody would smile and talk to me without reason, I would feel very uncomfortable !
I would wonder what this person would want from me...
But I'm absolutely certain that if somebody, french or not, need some help, everybody would try their best to help...they just have to ask so we are sure not to be intrusive or indiscreet !
She felt isolated because ... It was on new year eve and all people rushed home to prepare for the diner 😅
As a south european raised in the US when i went to framce with american friends two girls burst out in tears after a french waitress yelled at them. I just laughed and said you may be able to make them cry and become upset but not me 😂
Definitely crossing France off of my list as countries to retire to. 😁 Call me a crazy emo American, but I think it is basic human decency to at least acknowledge a new person and/or outsider in your Master's class. You don't have to become besties with them, invite them out or integrate them into your life, but you can at least say "hello" and ask a bit about them. Sounds like France is a perpetual American High School, lol! Not spending my elderly years back in High School, so I'll pass and just visit. 😎
This is spot on - right here. I have visited France - several parts of France - a handful of times (along with many other parts of Europe), and what you said here is spot on. I've visited Italy just as many times, and the differences - in terms of basic human decency - night and day. I'll won't go into detail, I'll simply say this: I will definitely go back to Italy.
@@NancyEllenB You're right. They'll make excuses in this comment thread but the truth hurts.
I live here and I'm bilingual.
Yes, they can be nice once you make a HUUUUUGE effort but it's like "getting blood from a stone" or "pulling teeth" and lots of people from every corner of the world say the same thing.
(And yep, there are exceptions to the rule but I'm afraid many do lack basic human decency, especially in Paris 😢)
Bon, pour revenir à la réalité, j'ai visité depuis 2000 pour des vacances courtes :
- Prague
-La Grèce
- Florence (2 fois) et Sienne
- Rome (2 fois)
- L'Irlande
- la Turquie
Honnêtement en dehors des commerçants, je n'ai jamais vu les locaux chercher des interactions particulièrement avec des touristes. La seule exception a été l'Italie et encore c'est parce que je parle un peu Italien.
Je pense que les Nord-américains se font peut-être plus vite des amis parce qu'ils déménagent souvent.
Pour avoir rencontrer des nord américains et anglo-saxons, notamment des étudiantes venus faire assistants d'anglais dans des écoles, ils étaient certes très "friendly", mais ils se limitaient a des discussions superficielles.
Pour un Français, un ami, c'est quelqu'un a qui te peux te confier, sinon c'est une "connaissance".
Une autre réflexion que je me fais et que peut-être qu'il y a une pression sociale chez les Nord-américains pour avoir beaucoup d'amis, être populaire, etc. Ça existe aussi en France et c'est sans doute en partie du à l'influence de la culture américaine. La culture française va plutôt mettre en avant une amitié ancienne et profonde.
Maybe because I went with my husband, but I thought the French were so nice. I remember saying to my husband, these people are so nice. Except for one individual when we left Paris was very rude. I don’t think he was French.
Great video, I think you nailed the differences perfectly. But I found no one to be outright rude. They just have a different way of being.
How do you deal with all the smokers in France? I could not take it with my asthma. I hope they have lactase tablets because that is the only way I can eat the cheese. Yes learn a few words even if simple greetings like you would for any country.
As a French with breathing issues, I just don’t go to Paris because it’s AWFUL I feel you on this one. Come to Lille there is a lot less smokers here!
Did you learn any French in Canada prior to moving to France? And if so, has your accent changed?
Well tbh if you come to the U.S and you don’t speak English it’s also gonna be hard? Lol her video makes me laugh 😂
Language exchange evenings! Really, if you don't speak the language, look for one of those, I don't know a better way to at least talk to locals. No guarantee for making friends, though.
En France, on considère la vie privée et intime plus sérieusement que chez les Anglo-saxons. Nous séparons les deux (vie privée/ vie professionnelle) et ce respect - que certains étrangers trouvent excessifs - de la vie privée est perçu comme de la froideur. Du moins, on considère toute "intrusion" dans la vie privée d'une personne dans la rue comme "non justifiée" si ça ne vient pas d'une demande de la personne elle-même.
C'est juste une autre mentalité. La place de l'individu en société est différente. Le malentendu est récurrent.
Ce respect "sacré" de la vie privée des gens s'étend à tous les domaines de la vie. des études, au travail en passant par la rue et les situations de la vie quotidienne. Même les parents se forcent à ne pas trop "déranger" leurs enfants lorsqu'ils quittent la maison et qu'ils deviennent à leur tour adultes. Cela est vraiment drôle car je vis en Chine et ici la place de l'individu est à l'opposé. En Chine, l'individu est sacrifié sur l'autel de la société. Tandis qu'en France c'est le contraire : la société se plie au confort et au respect de l'individu.
Cette culture de la vie privée est aussi, de mon point de vue, un drôle de mélange entre la culture latine et celle du nord (germanique, celte). Il est très facile de s'en rendre en abordant les gens du nors au sud de la France. le rapport entre individus est sensiblement différent. Sans oublier le climat qui joue dans la formation de ce caractère. Il n'est pas étonnant que l'on soit plus souriant en Tunisie ou en Grèce qu'à Paris ou au Mans. Le taux d'ensoleillemente et de beau temps y est très différent.
Hello 👋🏾
Very interesting discussion. I think that we shouldn't generalise and that each person is different.
However, it's hard to deny that the French are less friendly and more inward-looking than other cultures.
If it were just a different mentality, "I wouldn't mind", but the problem is that I don't have the impression that this mentality makes us happy.
There's a fairly gloomy climate in the country and a number of worrying statistics show a high rate of depression, alcohol consumption, cannabis and anti-anxiety drugs.
As a Frenchwoman, I'm sincerely saddened to see so much mistrust of others and so little openness.
I think that more openness would do us good, it's a very beautiful country, with great social protections, so we'd really have everything to gain by being less reserved and lighter while still wanting to keep this aspect of privacy.
Have a good Saturday!
Unlike the US, which has no official or national language (though most people think there is & that it's English) Most countries, including France, have official languages; one should make an effort, even if you sound like a fool. People will lean in to you if they see you trying. English is lingua franca, there's always someone who can understand you, but it really is your place to try the local language and not theirs to speak yours. I saw the post from the sad girl & commented it the nicest way possible so as to not make her feel worse.
I wonder about the differences between Quebec french people and France french people? i've heard the Quebec french are standoffish also. I've never been to Quebec so I can't know if this is true.
Les québécois are French Americans. Except for more recent immigrants from France, the québécois have little in common with us.
I love them though.
I'm French and i am so sorry if we don't kiss all poeple come in France , no problems if you visite France, pas de problemes, now if i speak with a tourist , i'll give him/her a French kiss