You’ve done a brilliant job writing this. Thanks so much for sharing. It’s too relatable. I haven’t used crack but the robot voice to me is like family. the segue into our dopamine-reality was downright spooky as well: Manually managing my dopamine levels has been the only thing on my mind today. Like, this is day 1 for me trying to eat less sugar, get exercise, drink more water, etc. I dare say it’s more than a coincidence that this video is the last thing I experienced before falling asleep tonight. Take care
I'm so glad you got so much out of this. Thanks for saying so. I hope the dopamine management works well. It seems like in quarantine it's easier than ever to just fuse with the internet and become even more of a 'borg. Good luck with it!
Thank you for sharing this intense period of your life with such honesty and humour. I’ve had my own day of isolated apartment pacing while talking to myself and chasing my own sad little rushes.
I didn't have it in me to do the audio version but I really enjoyed the written one. Near the end I remembered your Nothing Human project and wondered if that came about during the period you discuss here, or if there's even a connection at all.
It's funny, you've really just explained you decided to pick ideologies that appeal more to your Ashkenazi brain and to the people around. But us systematizers can look at stuff like NRx and consider it without wholesale repeating it. Yarvin is, in fact, wrong about a variety of things, but figuring that involves actual process of falsification rather than repeating other people that sound more appealing to you.
One of the main points I made is that I haven't "picked an ideology". Parroting ideological packages of positions wholesale, either left or right, is exactly what I left behind. I leave ideology to others. Yarvin is right about many things, and seems to be pretty wrong about others. You are correct, however, that people who have more "systematic" minds are very important in making sense of the world and figuring out how things can and do work on a practical level.
Nicely done, to both of you. To permit is to condone. Goes both ways. Thusly, silence is condoning the erroneous. To remove the erroneous we must discuss and derive until a closer truth is proven. Remember, there are no absolutes, so we can only approach the truth, but never attain its absolute form. But approach WE MUST.
I find this a fascinating insight in your own self-awareness. I have been researching these realms of philosophy for years (although I started from a right wing perspective which numerous people have said makes me strangely less amenable to their theories) and I share your Jewish ethnicity which I think makes the whole process very surreal. I also think that the public's misunderstanding of statistics plays a big part in how easily they can succumb to these philosophies.
Wonderful essay! I just read "Neoreaction, a Basilisk" by Elizabeth Sandifer, which is a clever (although a bit fuzzy) attempt to reckon with NRx on something approaching its own grounds - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it. I feel like Moldbug's trick is kind of a one-two punch: induce vertigo by showing the yawning chasm of History below you, and then crowning you king of the abyss by affirming that all your laziest thoughts are true. The second hit gets all its power from the first, you have to be off-balance for it to land.
Thanks for the good feedback. Haha crowning you king of the abyss, that's really good. I actually really do think the 'bug has tons of great points which have changed my outlook. But yeah he makes some facile moves, contradicts himself a bunch (we all do, it's fine). He says a ton of different things but it seems like hardcore NRx people just swallow all of them wholesale, all as this big package, as though there's absolutely no room for being selective or nuanced. In this story, I'm tripping super hard about race and genes etc. But as for there being such a thing as the Cathedral... that's *totally* real. Also, the idea that democracy may not be the best form of government is a pill I've completely swallowed, and hadn't occurred to me once before reading him.
also, thanks for uploading Ripped Heard back in the day. It's been fun and interesting to see what people from the Extra Life days are into the "weird theory" catacombs :)
@@charlielookerNYC Yeah, I definitely think he has some points, especially when he's being what I guess you would call skeptical, arguing against commonly held beliefs - showing you the abyss. But then when he makes "positive" claims, he ends up saying ridiculous shit like Steve jobs should be CEO of america. Classic Descartes vibes. ..now, off to give Simple Answers a focused listen after reading your essay :)
@@theorrhea Some of his plans of action are so absurd that I wonder if he even means it. The neo-cameral thing. But this was 10 years ago, and I don't know if he's about that now. The idea of applying straight up computer engineering models to government is fascinating. His idea of Patchwork is still interesting to me too.. As for Simple Answers, that's similar but also wayy different. Like that's psychoanalyzing straight up alt-right 2015 vibes which I thought was completely pathological. Very different beast from NRx in my view
I came here from the NYHC video very interesting, i’ve only read some leftist literature like Marx and Fisher, capitalist realism atleast after I was able to wrap my head around it did wonders for my mental health. Ideology really is the biggest drug in contemporary society.
I’ve felt thankful that I didn’t fall into a rabbithole like you did, but I can relate to the terror of considering NrX and other right-wing ideologies and considering they might be right for a second, but I generally find it far less compelling after a bit of consideration and research. I mean, I’m a bisexual trans woman, so these concepts would be as harmful for me in implementation as they would be for you as a man of Jewish ancestry. I also have very firm moral beliefs even if my politics have varied over the years. (Granted I’m also half your age so teenagers hop around ideologies all the time).
Wild. I had just left a comment on your video about withdrawing from politics, and while I was watching it, I kept thinking about Yarvin's Clear Pill. I got introduced to your music around the same time period that I discovered Unqualified Reservations, so my own brain has those two threads running in the same neural pathways. This probably biased me into seeing a likeness in voice between the two. I always wondered if you were somewhere on that track. The main theme that I was seeing in your work that I was also seeing in Yarvin's work was something like: A strong, critical figure representing the traditional past reappearing in the modern day to scold the degenerate and naive present with its earned wisdom. Maybe that was all only in my head, and maybe that's an oversimplification of the entirety of what you were trying to express, but I don't think it's too much of a stretch to piece together that connection given some of the lyrical subject matter, and the mixing of asynchronous musical forms. I'll shut up now. Here's to sobriety! I won't be sleeping on your future work after reading this.
That's awesome that you're feeling all the connections. I'm really not sure what I would have thought of UR if I had checked it out back then. I was really into Situationists, Bataille, and Deleuze. Not necessarily totally incompatible, but quite different for sure
I watched this originally when I went through the ideological addiction and felt like I could relate. I got past that but shortly later became addicted to cocaine. Having now experienced both, separately, they are siblings and ofc they would merge in this way.
Is now a bad time to tell you that you're actually a British robot? Seriously though, thanks for sharing your story. I hope your demons are behind you and you've developed the tools and networks necessary to keep them at bay.
You are that rare thing. A self aware musical artist. I'm not a Neoreactionist but I find aspects of it useful and informative. I respect that you had the courage to not only investigate this ideology but also to put your thoughts on it out there, a risky thing to do in this age of insane wokedom. As a former music obsessive, am finding your videos fascinating. There's an integrity there that's sadly lacking (imo) among many of your musical peers. That said, am a little disappointed in some of your conclusions, the lapsing into 'the system we're living under is white supremacy' trope is a bit like you're falling back into the comfort blanket of wokeness. Remember it's exactly these kind of racial generalisms that have led society to become the divisive place it's at today. And let's be fair, it's a bit simplistic to lay the blame at just 'whites' when people of your own ancestry have also played a significant role in some of the negative energy that manifests in identity politics. Anyway, I don't want to finish on a negative note, I do appreciate that you took the time to investigate an ideology/thought system that's anathema to many people, even moreso among those in artistic/artsy circles. You're clearly a bright guy, who values critical thought, and that sets you apart from many in your field. Keep doing what you're doing. Best of luck.
I definitely appreciate this feedback. Very glad you're so positively engaged with what I'm doing, and thanks for saying so. Your criticisms are duly noted (and also appreciated). They're too nuanced for me to engage fully in a youtube comment thread. But as for "white supremacy"... I've come to learn how powerful certain words are, especially now. If I use that phrase, it conjures up an entire web of ideas and attitudes (which could be described as "woke"). Very quickly: I don't really care about laying blame on any groups, white or otherwise! Moral blame is a big part of how deranged woke culture feeds its own industry without doing anything to actually help anyone in need. When I use that term, I really just mean that there are a whole bunch of systems at work that result in black people being kept in a subjugated position. I think a lot of woke culture is completely misled about what those systems actually are, and how they truly work. I actually think woke culture is, itself, one of those systems perpetuating it. But... too big for a comment thread. Thanks for such thoughtful engagement :)
Interesting my enwokenment also involved viewing life as a machine through which power and oppression permeated. The existential dreads of biological and structural determinism are hell of drugs.
@@charlielookerNYC I went proto woke in 2010-1 as I fell into the nihilistic abyss of physical determinism. I never groked that neoreaction could have a similar existential affect. You described it all very relatably thanks for sharing
I called him an "arts and humanities" type on twitter, which I thought would bug him. He didn't like or reply. No one roasts him like Reza does, so I'll leave hiim to it
Why would you be scared of NrX? Moldbug is a computer nerd. There will never be an NrX beer hall putsch. All this "fear" is performative farce, like shining a flashlight under your chin around a campfire.
@@charlielookerNYC I'm not calling you a pussy, or fragile. I think it's more likely that you're creating content which juices the liberal amygdala by playing on our cultures primitive understanding of "far" right theory, mystifying the subject and creating a mundane ghost story. "Weird Tales" for Brooklyn mischlings. A moral fable for libs. Virtue signalling is certainly harmless compared to crack cocaine, but it's all dopamine in the end.
@@fartsneed9464 He's scared of the horrifying consequences of naturalism and nihilism (specifically biological determinism and moral nihilism), not NRx per se.
@@FadiAkil but you could say the same of the horrifying and dehumanizing consequences of the inverse, the nihilistic abandonment of family, race and tradition in service of a neoliberal multicultural world order. You assume a teleology of consequences only for the demonized worldview, not for the religion of the state.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
You’ve done a brilliant job writing this. Thanks so much for sharing. It’s too relatable. I haven’t used crack but the robot voice to me is like family. the segue into our dopamine-reality was downright spooky as well: Manually managing my dopamine levels has been the only thing on my mind today. Like, this is day 1 for me trying to eat less sugar, get exercise, drink more water, etc. I dare say it’s more than a coincidence that this video is the last thing I experienced before falling asleep tonight.
Take care
I'm so glad you got so much out of this. Thanks for saying so. I hope the dopamine management works well. It seems like in quarantine it's easier than ever to just fuse with the internet and become even more of a 'borg. Good luck with it!
Thank you for sharing this intense period of your life with such honesty and humour. I’ve had my own day of isolated apartment pacing while talking to myself and chasing my own sad little rushes.
I'm very glad to hear you got something out of it
Wishing you a speed(y) recovery.
I didn't have it in me to do the audio version but I really enjoyed the written one. Near the end I remembered your Nothing Human project and wondered if that came about during the period you discuss here, or if there's even a connection at all.
100% connection. The track "God of Nature" is this essay in song :)
It's funny, you've really just explained you decided to pick ideologies that appeal more to your Ashkenazi brain and to the people around. But us systematizers can look at stuff like NRx and consider it without wholesale repeating it. Yarvin is, in fact, wrong about a variety of things, but figuring that involves actual process of falsification rather than repeating other people that sound more appealing to you.
One of the main points I made is that I haven't "picked an ideology". Parroting ideological packages of positions wholesale, either left or right, is exactly what I left behind. I leave ideology to others. Yarvin is right about many things, and seems to be pretty wrong about others. You are correct, however, that people who have more "systematic" minds are very important in making sense of the world and figuring out how things can and do work on a practical level.
Nicely done, to both of you. To permit is to condone. Goes both ways. Thusly, silence is condoning the erroneous. To remove the erroneous we must discuss and derive until a closer truth is proven. Remember, there are no absolutes, so we can only approach the truth, but never attain its absolute form. But approach WE MUST.
I find this a fascinating insight in your own self-awareness. I have been researching these realms of philosophy for years (although I started from a right wing perspective which numerous people have said makes me strangely less amenable to their theories) and I share your Jewish ethnicity which I think makes the whole process very surreal. I also think that the public's misunderstanding of statistics plays a big part in how easily they can succumb to these philosophies.
Wonderful essay! I just read "Neoreaction, a Basilisk" by Elizabeth Sandifer, which is a clever (although a bit fuzzy) attempt to reckon with NRx on something approaching its own grounds - I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it.
I feel like Moldbug's trick is kind of a one-two punch: induce vertigo by showing the yawning chasm of History below you, and then crowning you king of the abyss by affirming that all your laziest thoughts are true. The second hit gets all its power from the first, you have to be off-balance for it to land.
Thanks for the good feedback. Haha crowning you king of the abyss, that's really good. I actually really do think the 'bug has tons of great points which have changed my outlook. But yeah he makes some facile moves, contradicts himself a bunch (we all do, it's fine). He says a ton of different things but it seems like hardcore NRx people just swallow all of them wholesale, all as this big package, as though there's absolutely no room for being selective or nuanced. In this story, I'm tripping super hard about race and genes etc. But as for there being such a thing as the Cathedral... that's *totally* real. Also, the idea that democracy may not be the best form of government is a pill I've completely swallowed, and hadn't occurred to me once before reading him.
also, thanks for uploading Ripped Heard back in the day. It's been fun and interesting to see what people from the Extra Life days are into the "weird theory" catacombs :)
@@charlielookerNYC Yeah, I definitely think he has some points, especially when he's being what I guess you would call skeptical, arguing against commonly held beliefs - showing you the abyss. But then when he makes "positive" claims, he ends up saying ridiculous shit like Steve jobs should be CEO of america. Classic Descartes vibes.
..now, off to give Simple Answers a focused listen after reading your essay :)
@@theorrhea Some of his plans of action are so absurd that I wonder if he even means it. The neo-cameral thing. But this was 10 years ago, and I don't know if he's about that now. The idea of applying straight up computer engineering models to government is fascinating. His idea of Patchwork is still interesting to me too.. As for Simple Answers, that's similar but also wayy different. Like that's psychoanalyzing straight up alt-right 2015 vibes which I thought was completely pathological. Very different beast from NRx in my view
we need more people like you that are prepared to be honest with themselves and intrigueing with their discourse and art, Thanks for that
I came here from the NYHC video very interesting, i’ve only read some leftist literature like Marx and Fisher, capitalist realism atleast after I was able to wrap my head around it did wonders for my mental health. Ideology really is the biggest drug in contemporary society.
I’ve felt thankful that I didn’t fall into a rabbithole like you did, but I can relate to the terror of considering NrX and other right-wing ideologies and considering they might be right for a second, but I generally find it far less compelling after a bit of consideration and research. I mean, I’m a bisexual trans woman, so these concepts would be as harmful for me in implementation as they would be for you as a man of Jewish ancestry. I also have very firm moral beliefs even if my politics have varied over the years. (Granted I’m also half your age so teenagers hop around ideologies all the time).
Wild. I had just left a comment on your video about withdrawing from politics, and while I was watching it, I kept thinking about Yarvin's Clear Pill. I got introduced to your music around the same time period that I discovered Unqualified Reservations, so my own brain has those two threads running in the same neural pathways. This probably biased me into seeing a likeness in voice between the two. I always wondered if you were somewhere on that track.
The main theme that I was seeing in your work that I was also seeing in Yarvin's work was something like: A strong, critical figure representing the traditional past reappearing in the modern day to scold the degenerate and naive present with its earned wisdom. Maybe that was all only in my head, and maybe that's an oversimplification of the entirety of what you were trying to express, but I don't think it's too much of a stretch to piece together that connection given some of the lyrical subject matter, and the mixing of asynchronous musical forms.
I'll shut up now. Here's to sobriety! I won't be sleeping on your future work after reading this.
That's awesome that you're feeling all the connections. I'm really not sure what I would have thought of UR if I had checked it out back then. I was really into Situationists, Bataille, and Deleuze. Not necessarily totally incompatible, but quite different for sure
I watched this originally when I went through the ideological addiction and felt like I could relate. I got past that but shortly later became addicted to cocaine. Having now experienced both, separately, they are siblings and ofc they would merge in this way.
Is now a bad time to tell you that you're actually a British robot? Seriously though, thanks for sharing your story. I hope your demons are behind you and you've developed the tools and networks necessary to keep them at bay.
Hey, this is really good, and sadly relatable. It makes me want to get back to writing
That's really awesome to hear it's motivating you to write. I love it.
This video sent chills down my spine. It must have touched a nerve.
You are that rare thing. A self aware musical artist. I'm not a Neoreactionist but I find aspects of it useful and informative. I respect that you had the courage to not only investigate this ideology but also to put your thoughts on it out there, a risky thing to do in this age of insane wokedom. As a former music obsessive, am finding your videos fascinating. There's an integrity there that's sadly lacking (imo) among many of your musical peers. That said, am a little disappointed in some of your conclusions, the lapsing into 'the system we're living under is white supremacy' trope is a bit like you're falling back into the comfort blanket of wokeness. Remember it's exactly these kind of racial generalisms that have led society to become the divisive place it's at today. And let's be fair, it's a bit simplistic to lay the blame at just 'whites' when people of your own ancestry have also played a significant role in some of the negative energy that manifests in identity politics.
Anyway, I don't want to finish on a negative note, I do appreciate that you took the time to investigate an ideology/thought system that's anathema to many people, even moreso among those in artistic/artsy circles. You're clearly a bright guy, who values critical thought, and that sets you apart from many in your field. Keep doing what you're doing. Best of luck.
I definitely appreciate this feedback. Very glad you're so positively engaged with what I'm doing, and thanks for saying so. Your criticisms are duly noted (and also appreciated). They're too nuanced for me to engage fully in a youtube comment thread. But as for "white supremacy"... I've come to learn how powerful certain words are, especially now. If I use that phrase, it conjures up an entire web of ideas and attitudes (which could be described as "woke"). Very quickly: I don't really care about laying blame on any groups, white or otherwise! Moral blame is a big part of how deranged woke culture feeds its own industry without doing anything to actually help anyone in need. When I use that term, I really just mean that there are a whole bunch of systems at work that result in black people being kept in a subjugated position. I think a lot of woke culture is completely misled about what those systems actually are, and how they truly work. I actually think woke culture is, itself, one of those systems perpetuating it. But... too big for a comment thread. Thanks for such thoughtful engagement :)
Interesting my enwokenment also involved viewing life as a machine through which power and oppression permeated. The existential dreads of biological and structural determinism are hell of drugs.
By enwokenment do you mean becoming woke after having been redpilled? Or the reverse? Or are you like me and you’re just like ugh idk nothin no more
@@charlielookerNYC I went proto woke in 2010-1 as I fell into the nihilistic abyss of physical determinism. I never groked that neoreaction could have a similar existential affect. You described it all very relatably thanks for sharing
@@milk.butcher interesting! Thanks for sharing that this was relatable. I'm glad to hear it
Very well written article. Fascinating. You should have had an MRI between each phase.
I’m glad you got over this this sounds like it’s be horrible
This is seriously lovecraftian
3:08
"Two point zero"
Thanks Man! Thanks for sharing!
it would be great if you could narrate this yourself
Respect!!
Blockade land's twitter calling him cringe he can't take it, this is known
I called him an "arts and humanities" type on twitter, which I thought would bug him. He didn't like or reply. No one roasts him like Reza does, so I'll leave hiim to it
I love this
this is a really indepth look at a scary thought experiment
Why would you be scared of NrX? Moldbug is a computer nerd. There will never be an NrX beer hall putsch. All this "fear" is performative farce, like shining a flashlight under your chin around a campfire.
Anon Anon it’s not a farce. I suppose you could call me a pussy or fragile or something. But dishonest I’m not
@@charlielookerNYC I'm not calling you a pussy, or fragile. I think it's more likely that you're creating content which juices the liberal amygdala by playing on our cultures primitive understanding of "far" right theory, mystifying the subject and creating a mundane ghost story. "Weird Tales" for Brooklyn mischlings. A moral fable for libs. Virtue signalling is certainly harmless compared to crack cocaine, but it's all dopamine in the end.
@@fartsneed9464 He's scared of the horrifying consequences of naturalism and nihilism (specifically biological determinism and moral nihilism), not NRx per se.
@@FadiAkil but you could say the same of the horrifying and dehumanizing consequences of the inverse, the nihilistic abandonment of family, race and tradition in service of a neoliberal multicultural world order.
You assume a teleology of consequences only for the demonized worldview, not for the religion of the state.
meta!
have some kids dude
lol it's on the table
@@charlielookerNYC DO NOT