My Online Dating Vlog | Dating Apps, Tips and Stories | Elle Choi
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- In this vlog, I open up about my dating life and what it's like to date in your 30s. This is the first personal vlog I've ever shared so I'm a little nervous but I hope you will find this video entertaining, helpful and interesting.
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Covered so many different topics, so here are the time marks:
0:30 - My Introduction
1:05 - Pro's of dating apps
1:48 - Con's of dating apps
3:08 - Breakdown of 4 apps (Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, Bumble and The League)
5:45 - Dating in my 20s vs. 30s
7:25 - Dating in LA vs. DC
8:40 - What I look for when I'm swiping
9:45 - Common conversation topics (on first dates)
10:23 - Dating etiquette (do's and don'ts)
12:55 - Five tips for online dating
15:45 - The vulnerability and realness comes out
17:00 - My challenge
Would love to hear your feedback and thoughts -- and if you have any stories to share, please leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram @ellegance! As always, thanks for watching. Please subscribe and "like" this video for more content like this! :)
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meeting at coffee shops is the best place.
True! If it doesn't go well, it can end fast and if it goes well, you can continue it elsewhere :)
We all suffer from the paradox of choice. That's the main reason why its extremely difficult dating.
Aww my husband and I laughed so much!! We started talking about the time we first started dating and all the wrong things that happened but we still gave each other chances! Maybe date number 4 is the lucky number!
Catherine Kay haha! Aww glad you guys enjoyed it and got to reminisce 🥰 we shall see if 4 is a lucky number! 😂
Trust me as a person who found my husband of 10 years, then divorced, just never settle...at any age.
Hi
Who should pay? who says the first date should involve a financial investment? wasted money without a second date. the question is, does a man have to prove his financial worth on a first date by spending money? Money will come up. It doesn't have to on the first date. Btw, we don't mind you cooking on the first date.
Thanks for making this video and for sharing your tips and experiences.
I tried CMB a few years ago, but gave up on it, and am wanting to try it again. I know a lot of different apps have come up in the past few years, and I wanted to learn more about what it's like to date nowadays using those apps. This video was very useful.
Hi Kamilia! Thank you so much for your comment - it's always really great to hear such positive feedback and I super appreciate you taking the time! So glad to hear this video was helpful in feeling out how it is to be on the apps these days. I'm sure everyone has a different experience but this has been mine and I've been enjoying Hinge the most lately! Good luck and keep me posted if you go on any successful dates! xoxo
This one is really informative on my part. Thank you for sharing.
I'm 22, first time using online dating. Thank you for these great tipps! :) I hope you will find someone one day!
Yay! Good luck! And I did… watch my latest video 🥰
Hi, please help me; for online dating how many days/ weeks should i text a girl on dating app before I ask her out if we matched on online dating app? Maybe text her on dating app for a few days or 1 week before asking her out? Thanks! 🙏
Hi, please help me; for online dating how many days/ weeks should i text a girl on dating app before I ask her out if we matched on online dating app? Maybe text her on dating app for a few days or 1 week before asking her out? Thanks! 🙏
Aw loved watching. Thanks for sharing
Gina Kim thanks babe! And yes, I agree with what your friends say! Although there have been some dates that consisted of multiple courses and even with me trying to pay the guy wouldn’t let me... I didn’t hate it! Haha it was def was a nice surprise.
Guy should pay on the first, but second or third it should be split
Yeah for sure!
I met my girlfriend at the beach. I feel glad that I never ODed
Thank you for sharing Elle. It’s very informative. Im so glad I’m older and locked down because modern dating sounds too difficult and challenging.
makupaddict76 lol truly blessed to be locked down 🤣🤣🤣
Love it!!! Woot woot!!! Wish I can do a guys version. Lol
DO IT!!! :)
Omgosh, thank you so much for sharing! Definitely have overlapping feels, worries, and views! height requirement 🙋🏻♀️ too picky 🙋🏻♀️ ... everyone seriously already married with kids so the dating pool in DC is super small. & guys lying about their height ☠️ but thank you for the reminder that I shouldn't be so picky and that height isn't everything. I'm still learning. ♥️
Jessica Kim ☑️☑️☑️ yeah, open-minded but CAREFUL! I just got catfished 😭
Def height is not more important than personality, integrity, values. Not to mention shared interests. 👍🏾
No online dating
Hey Elle! This is awesome. I'm actually starting to do a couple of videos about dating in your 30s and would love to collaborate with you. Especially since you're in DC :). Let me know!
Brian Fung Hi! That would be fun! Send me an email or DM me on insta @ellegance 🙂
can't help but looking at your closet....
well i think guys should pay as courtesy in general. I would appreciate my date take her purse out but i will get it first. It shows that she doesn't take things for granted also a token of appreciation. but i got it. Ladies dont pay,
I do like paying for a drink on the first date but I'm not sure about dinner. I guess it would be more or less how I feel how the date has progressed. Especially with the modern times where women tend to have a career and making a living on their own. My experience is many women don't mind going dutch on the food part.
I do, however, agree with you on chivalry and I love to treat women by opening doors, grabbing their coats, and making them feel like a lady.
I am now 37 and I agree with you. I am scared if I'm gonna be that only one that's gonna be in their 40s and single. Great video! Really enjoyed listening to you. Wishing you the best! You're very attractive and seem to know what you want.
Hi! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your experience too. Love hearing how others feel about modern dating. Good luck! :)
This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for sharing
cloudnosh11 aww thanks so much for the comment! 🙂
Huh the good ole traditional woman. Only when it benefits you. Don't worry aging will humble you real quick.
People are delivered by finger tip🤣
What your thoughts on dating older blackmen ?
Practical tip 😉👍 thank you
I really am not trying to be mean, but it is easy to say that men should pay for first dates if all you are doing are first dates. You seem to suggest that you don’t make it past 2 dates per guy. I am newly divorced. (I am watching videos like yours to try learn how women approach dating in this digital world). I would rather go on a date with someone who had been in a long term relationship, perhaps now divorced, than someone who has just gone on “first dates” for the past decade. Red flag. I agree with you: maybe you should be less picky. Try someone perhaps who was married for many years. They probably know something about long term relationships and don’t live in their parents basement. And, yes, lower your standard and allow the person to fall below 6 feet. Just because a man is 6’ doesn’t make them a good catch. And by the time you are in your 30’s, like you, it is likely that they had been married and now divorced. I believe that you would not want to be dismissed for similar reasons that you are dismissing some of these single men. I enjoyed your insight and have watched many of you videos. Thank you for posting. Best wishes, Mark
Please do me this favor. I want to understand why a woman who uses Tinder, Bumble, Match, etc. would not swipe right or message back.
Pretend you are a female who is looking for a meaningful connection or a fun time on a friendship level with the caveat that you are open for more, such as a serious relationship or FWB. However, you are getting a ton of messages or get a ton of matches that stick around. As a consequence, you are forced to go through a "process of elimination" to potentially squeeze out a quality date.
How much emphasis, in order of importance, do you place in your decision to swipe right or message back based upon these reasons ONLY:
Distance
Ethnicity
Common interests
Age
Looks
Am looking for a white man
Lmfao
Drug dealers alert
To succeed at dating to closing the deal, girls need to understand they are not the only girls out there targeting the guys they target. Individual success rests on how the girl stacks up against her competition in terms of beauty and youth... as every second that passes, the competition shall grow stronger and stronger and hence more and more compromises shall be forced (not voluntarily made). You are pretty girl, hopefully you can add some logic to dating the equation even though girls are mainly emotional thinkers.
Don't agree anymore! Paying on the 1st date is for chumps! Far too many girls are only in for the 1st date meal. It's sad but too true. Greed has ruined what was a great balance... If our date is about the testing potential for the future then don't let a $30 meal get in the way as I plan on paying for the remainder of lifes activities.
Sounds like you've had some bad experiences - sorry to hear. I still think it's chivalrous and appreciated when the guy pays for the first date. If it was a 2-part date, I would probably pay for the second part.
16:15 Bingo, however not the only one, you will be one of many single 40-somethings. Too many options, too easy to cheat, women are too picky when they have their looks at a younger age and end up late 30s rushing to have a child and settle for their old friend, some reliable nice guy who's really a pushover, then that quickly results in a broken marriage and co-parented child; that's the case for 1 in 5 children now. Then you both get back online and date other single parents cause nobody else wants you-a race to the bottom of the barrel. While the women lose their looks and realise they have to be less picky the guys are getting distinguished in their careers and become more picky and start dating or cheating with younger women. As for your idea of a four date rule, the guys have a joke about if she doesn't screw on the third date that's it, three strikes and you're out. Online dating does more harm than good, even if you know someone who met their spouse on it; at the very least it’s a major time suckage.
So guys should pay, cause you are oldschool, i wonder how much casual partners you had, since you are so old school. I might sound like i am arrogant, but in reality if you use some modern aspects and keep old ones, which only benefit you - thats unfair. In casual sex and dating scene we live now, its kinda economically bad decision for guys to pay every first date, when you can date so many different people in one week, then it will just strike you back in the end, because men will jump on more easily available matches and avoid seriousness even more. P.s Dating at 30 changes a lot, most women need to drop their standards a lot. The wall nears and if a young woman have so many choices and orbiters around and can be cocky, arrogant, do whatever and still have tons of attention the 30s~ mark is when power play changes, more women (because of age) want relationships than men available for them. Because many 30s men can still hookup with quite younger girls, because they have more materialistic things, etc and on top most family oriented guys are cuffed long ago and creating families, so the feminism dream of having it all crumbles down and reality hits.
Even sex and the city author, now at 60 regrets her decisions and says that shes now truly alone, in the end feminism dream of riding a cock carousel and then settling down, when looks start to fade does not work. most of the time. But in NY even if you want serious family oriented relationship its damn hard to find, because of insane casual dating and hook up scene out there.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope these were not personally geared towards me since I do not "dream of riding a cock carousel" haha. And yes, I am pretty old school in that way as well. We all have our opinions and on this subject, we can just agree to disagree. Either way, thank you for shedding a new perspective on things. :)
i am old school as well. but if its just a "date" to get to know each other when u r not official. i would pay my share
outstanding content Elle Choi. I killed that thumbs up on your video. Always keep up the amazing work.
Thank you!
Do you date older men , and black men ?
I like your earrings!
I've gotten couple decent dates on it. Just not attractive to me sadly.
Shakadoo keep putting yourself out there! 😊
More not my type, not attractive is a bad comment.
Bad
"LIttle bit more traditional" - you want him to approach. You want him to pay. It does beg the question - in what way are you "traditional" that is inconvenient .... for you?
Make a deal with the guy - "Hey, we'll definitely do two dates, and I'll pay for the second one." - that would show you're not being about you, but consider him and his time to as valuable as yours, right?
Look - I'm being sincere and trying to give you an idea on how to attract a quality man - and most men, in their 30's and up are equally tired of games - and if you give off this "I want to be traditional" vibe, up until it puts you out there how you expect him to ... you're going to get played.
How does he separate you from all the others, what makes you unique and interesting, what makes you stand out as different from all the others? You want him to be that - is it bad he'll be looking for that too?
Here's what I tell my single gal-pals who are 30+ : find 5 characteristics/traits you NEED. No, not 10 or 20 on a checklist, just 5. Then think of a group/club/profession etc that has guys with those traits. Go and hang out with them and finding someone who meets your needs is hugely better. When you meet him, be upfront - no not "I'm looking for something serious" - and certainly not "I'm done with people who play games and players" (Lord save you - don't say that) - but more like "I came here, to be honest because I like these traits of this group - and what better way to find common interests"
Lastly - you listed a lot of what YOU wanted - but where is your **long** list of what you bring to the table. To be clear - dating in your 30's+ for a woman is not like your 20's. Older/experienced/more jaded guys here a checklist, and they'll play you. Let them know - by your deeds, not words - what you bring to the table. And for the love of all that's good and holy, no man wants to see your resume. They want to know you'll be kind, not cunning - you'll be soothing to their soul, not a competitor - that you'll not bait and switch about guy/girl stuff.
Men are simple creatures. But older guys? They've seen all the games - and if they hear "I'm traditional" when you see the check, but not when it's not convenient ... they'll play you.
Wow. Laying it out there! This is good advice for women-my husband, who used to be a dating coach, says very similar things. 👍🏾