5 Weaknesses of a Narcissist | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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- Опубликовано: 25 янв 2024
- There are things we go through in life that are hard. I hope this video gives you the education that you need and the encouragement to overcome some of the things that you have been through!
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They "can't", it's more likely that they won't. They refuse to come clean and simply speak truly. Thanks for sharing!
Exactly!
all they know is lying, hate, manipulation. truth anything, does not exist
They can't even read the way their brain works doesn't extract any content they dont make up and they just want to attack you. They just lookin at words.
I think it's more like they can't. I just got divorced from a narc. I feel bad for her, but I know she's not capable of changing. Something happened in childhood, some theories that the emotional part of the brain does not develop in these people due to trauma. I feel bad for her, but at the same time I want to live a happy life as well.
you should never feel bad for one, they know exactly what they are doing, at all times. congrats on coming to terms that she will never change, and moving on. having a sh it childhood is no excuse for acting like a animal. i had a sh it show of a childhood myself, and said to myself; self, i wont be doing any of this stupid bs as a adult. totally agree about the childhood trama thing, but it is a choice how one conducts themselves. like my pops once said, even the dumbest of the dumb, know right, from wrong.@@hartmutott4720
People talk about angels and demons like its a heavenly battle.... its here on earth. Lets go!
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood Ephesians 6:12
Exactly God’s kids against Satan’s kids. We know who Satan’s kids are😂😂😂
It is most assuredly a spiritual battle that place in spiritual realm as well as physical realm.
It is a (from) the heavenlies battle. The Bible describes it as wickedness in high places.
@@Clevelandsteamer324💯
Hurt people hurt people. Broken people break people.
I don’t like either of these saying bc it puts responsibility on the victim to feel empathy for someone who’s INTENTIONALLY hurting them. Narcs KNOW they hurt people. They ENJOY it. That’s evil and doesn’t deserve empathy
I debunk this quote. I was hurt many people have severe trauma, I have CPTSD and I make sure I don't hurt people because I never want anyone to feel like I do. It caused me to be way too empathic. Hurt people don't hurt people. Hurt people that choose evil hurt people
Hurt people need to do their work
@@d.b.1774👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
We're all hurt. But we're not all narcissts. It's demonic. It's that simple.
When your spouse is a narcissist and you must leave to protect your mental and physical health, it feels like you’re betraying your young children by doing so because they will have to spend 50% of their time with the other parent. It seems like there’s no winning. 🙁
Remember you are more brave than you will ever know, leaving was the biggest bravest and strongest thing you will ever do x
And you are being the example that they so need to see that you won't tolerate being abused. Someday they will see what a monster that person truly is.
@@Emz84loupoetya'll are just a toxic echo chamber for justifying bad decisions.
The child may turn against her non Narc parent through conditioning, and join the Narc family group, exes friends and community, to ruin your life and even do the first.
Be extremely cautious about joint custody…. Narcs get more dangerous and daring (covertly) as they age. They gang up.
Remember you chose, married and reproduced with a narcissist.
Even a chimpanzee can show empathy towards another chimpanzee. To call a narcissist an animal is an insult to most animals, at least when it comes to other mammals.
Preach girl lol 😂
Especially dogs
@@lenawilson3242Yep. My Cousin is a Grade A Narcisist he doesn't take any blame for what he does wrong which is all the time. He grew up spoiled, and his parents gave him everything and let him get away with everything. He always gravitates to folks whom he can get what he wants and needs, and when they get hip to their hype and wash their hands of them, they turn it around to make it look like it was their fault. Even when you try to tell them something for their own good, they don't listen. They are also horrible with Money, they need to keep up this image, they like the glamorous, bougie world not realizing it's a very lonely world and very superficial. Then when you help them out financially and have the "audacity" to ask what is rightfully yours, they get shady, nasty, and self defensive. They know they did wrong but they are too ashamed to admit it.😮😢
Empathy is a no no with a narcisist. Sad fact but true fact. No matter how many times you try to tell them you can't help them, they hear but don't listen. They are very lackadaisical with their responbilities and don't understand how forgetting or a mistake can affect the people around them, including themselves. David Brent from the UK Version of The Office is a prime example.
💯 agree with you!
education is everything when dealing with one of these monsters. for a normal person its hard to wrap our minds around the twisted, train wreak, and hateful mindset, of a narc. found out totally by chance, if it were not for that, i would have never totally figured it out on my own.
😂😂😂 cry about it
very selfish is just the surface of their mental problems. society as a whole actually has normalized, embraced narcissism to the point its blatantly in your face, all the time. there would be a very good chance that the teacher teaching narc class 101 would be a narc themselves. @@Buckets1000
This is so helpful. You described my manager to a T. He told me almost immediately that he can tell that I am an empath and boy oh boy do I have a target on my back. So many people that I used to have good relationships with on my job now treat me so poorly and I know it’s because he’s maligning me. He’s tragic honestly. My saving grace is that I work remotely so I don’t see him f2f. He gets so angry when someone compliments me; literally sneers and he’s always trying to provoke me. What a horrendous way to be
Reminds me of my ex boss to a T. I ran in a marathon and someone at work asked how it was, and she was so jealous that she said “we don’t need to talk about that” 😂😂 These people are honestly so cringy 😂
@@Silence_between_wavesyour fantasy is my happy place. Thank you
No such thing as an empath. Just overly fragile people.
@@drivethruabortion280You're half right. There are some overly fragile people out there. However, there are others who can read people's feeling and emotions very easily but that doesn't necessarily mean that they care anything about that person. Some empaths can be very dark... they don't bother people but they don't take no sh1t from anyone either. A dark empath is a narcissists worst nightmare!
They know what they are doing. They know it hurts people. They just don’t care. They only understand empathy cognitively.
Not sure if they really know how badly they hurt people. But nevertheless, you cannot stay in a relationship with those narcs, it destroys you.
The theory of narcissism that makes the most sense to me is that narcissism is a trauma response, not a personality disorder. These people have been so deeply traumatized, at such an early age, that they divorce themselves from reality with a fantasy defense to the world. Children are very self centered because they have to be, they develop there part in the world through their mothers meaningful gaze, as they develop they learn their own differentiation in the world through years of this meaningful, mirroring gaze. This is why you can almost tell what age they were when they split from reality. Some say the lack of eye contact with a infant all the way to about the age of seven can traumatize and stunt them, because they blame themselves, they are a bad object, and do all that is available to them wich is to turn inward and invent a world that is the opposite or them being a bad object, the over compensation, they are a god. This is why they act like children, they live in a fantasy world where they write all the rules and interact with the world through snap shots that are objects. If you want to learn more on this theory, look up Richard Grannon or Sam Vaknin
Very interesting and insightful comment, sawdustadikt1979. I never looked narcissism that way. And I didn't know the two persons you mentioned. I'll have a look on their work. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
My ex was so traumatized by being spoiled. The family knew of his diagnosis and didn’t tell me.
I don’t buy the trauma reason for most narcs. Most that I’ve known have been the pampered prince or princess.
It can begin from abuse and trauma but in the end true NPD is a clinical mental illness and is much more complex with layers, repeat behavioral patterns along with a fragmented sense of self and perception and lack of empathy. These ppl can't and won't change because the very thing that they need to do to change is the very thing narcissism won't let them see because they lack insight nor can they introspect. Thats why when you try to help them it never works because it won't last and they keep repeating the same patterns.
A trauma which they are unabled to heal.
I promise it's a thing. @@saturdayschild8535
They are arrogant, selfish, hypocrite, ....
All so true. Yet at the same time they are victims too.
Lower the bar? Put it on the ground and that's still not low enough. Great guidance...thank you.
I cannot find the words that expres how thankful I am with you. Thank you Stephanie for helping me to understand.
Thank you so much! I am so glad that I could help in any way!
I've never seen a tip so big. Wow, that is amazing ❤ it's also nice to see 👀 people truly receive help.
Simpin' hard
First time I've seen such a big amount 😮😮😮❤
It's $58 dollars ya'll 😂
It's a relief that disappointment over an ex is something that has gone from my system. Analysing the past can prolong that pain. It can make women seem masculine & men seem hopeless. It takes two to tango. It's better to wish folk well & concentrate on self rather than plough attention into forever criticising, or else you yourself may end up looking embittered
how could something so self centered/greedy, also be so self destructive? of course they go burnt earth policy on everything they come in contact with, but also do it to themselves? their hate runs so deep, that they really do hate themselves. its a form of willing, self punishment. took me a while to figure out, and come to grips with this one.
Fear you will leave me so lets treat them so they leave me
MY NARC HAS TOLD ME "MANY TIMES" IN 16 YRS...
"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU SO HORRIBLY...
YOU'LL HATE ME...
SO THAT...
IT WON'T HURT YOU AS DEEPLY, WHEN I DIE!"
HAVE YOU EVER????
The thing we have that they want is Character. They don't know what that is, but they KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING. I guarantee you they know there is Something wrong with them.
.
A TWO -YEAR -OLD... YUP! THANKS FOR THE FACTS. HIT A LLOT RIGHT ON THE HEAD. GOD BLESS YOU FOR HELPING SEE WE ARE NOT THE "CRAZY ONES". HE KNOWS I KNOW HE IS A NARC. CRAZY TRAIN RIDE.
Once was enough for me. Don't worry. Now, I can see them coming from a mile away, and they hate it when they know that I am onto them w/o my saying it. My boundary says all that I need to say.
I can tell how raw her hurt is from narcissistic abuse :( I am appreciating her reflections on codependency.
If only I knew, what I know now!
I never stood a chance…. Thank you for the info and confirmation I have been needing.
Dealings with someone like this is exceptionally traumatic and somewhat damaging to one’s core.
Dont rush into anything take my time
After about 3yrs of learning about them, i tried a role reverse and it absolutely triggered her to an extent of hatred for me. When you treat them like they treat you, that triggers them in a way that will blow your mind. Its very revealing that their behavior is many times calculated. Couple this behavior with drug addiction and there is near 0 hope for them, unfortunately.
Damn that hit hard.
likes how Steph associates them with a 2yr old. big picture, this is exactly what you are dealing with.
💯 when I realized my ex acts just like a 13 year old teenager, that was a game changer. Once I was able to get past visually treating them like an adult or any expectations I was able to minimize my internal reactions. Now I work on stopping the story I tell myself or guessing why he is doing something. The worry can cause spiral.
It’s weird, my ex gf was nice and empathetic towards other people, just not me. It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Well, sometimes she seems genuinely empathetic towards me but I’d find out later that it’s just for her own benefit. Bringing issues up to her is just recipe for disaster, it’s better to just suck it up and pretend things are good.
Mine was a cheater, nasty and rude to me. She would be a great friend to others though
I've spent a lot of time trying to get in that vault. She calls her heart and it's about time that I just protect my own and walk away. Thanks for everything you do. Good day to you
Grey rocking is the best response but they keep pushing your buttons that's when its really hard not to react
If have kids with narc, can't grey rock fully. But there is no co-operation possible, no discussion.
If I'm SUCH a 'threat'.....here's an idea GET AWAY FROM ME THEN! I'm your 'lifeline' but you treat your lifeline like 💩??? I. Can't. Stand. Them.
I've was once told that I was the 'Devil'. My response was, "Then why don't you seek God and run from me?". Sadly, in hindsight I should be the one running away...SERIOUSLY
They are using you for supply you are an emotional punching bag
I've come to recognize my own narcissistic tendencies. It's been a journey from looking at a picture on the wall of someone else to looking in a mirror. I'm glad to see and hear, to truly identity myself. I haven't arrived but I'm learning. Now my love, my other half has been consistent in who they are, good and bad. As they grow older the bad is something hard to hide from themself. We have common interest, gardening, keeping chickens, homesteading, etc. These things redirect our focus toward the less selfish personality traits. My beautiful big city party girl has slowly transitioned to a farm girl role. I too play the homestead role. Thank you and others who provide insight to help some see the light and change.
13:22 “That victim has no idea the cycle they are in” it’s SO TRUE it’s tragic to because you can’t help that person really. I think we all are stuck in some type of cycle 🔄 but the people that don’t know it are almost hopeless.
I watched earlier a youtube video about 2 types of people in the world: people pleasers & narcissist. The story is very shocking.
Givers and takers
Hands down! You killed it with this one. Very understandable and digestible the way you broke it down. This is a real one here folks. Peace and respect fam! ❤
thank you!
Satan was the first narcissist. God showed him no mercy because he knew his heart. He was evil from the beginning. A liar. The narc has the identity of the enemy. They want to consume and abuse your goodness. Remember that.
Shallow Brain 🧠 and Learning Brain 🧠 Choose Wisely
It perfectly describes my relationship. Sometimes I gaslight myself thinking that maybe I exaggerate- it was not that bad but hearing this I know howdamaged my partner was. I was on walking on a ticking bomb ready constantly to say right things, do right things which in the end were not good enough. Few days later I was blamed for something completely new- sometimes even ridiculous things. I made a Ln agreement with myself to accept him for who he is but my body shut down. I was not eating, losing weight, feeling depressed and had no energy to fight anymore even though I reqlly wanted to.And when my partner saw this. Saw me getting deflated, weak he blamed me for this too. He stated that I do not care anymore, that he is the only one who cares and I need to work on myself. He never thought ' oh, maybe she feels like this because I make her feel that way'no self reflection:( . I am still grieving. I hate the fact I still love him even though we have not been together for 4 months.
The face is a cover of what is inside the truer beauty of what a good man is truly looking for ma'am. Have a blessed evening God loves you ❤
Why do narcissists want negative attention? Is it because they had that as children and were seen only they were being punished? Is it a lesser narcissistic supply but at least it's something? Is it a sadistic supply that they had the power to upset you?
Knowing that NPD can be related to neglect in childhood, it's an idea that it's mostly about getting a response.
Even if it requires someone with NPD to upset someone else, because their sense of existence is dependent on external validation that was not given in early childhood.
This is not unique to NPD though, and sadism and NPD aren't necessarily linked.
Sadism is enjoying inflicting pain.
NPD is enjoying external validation.
bingo! it all stems from childhood. hate is love.
Any supply is supply. Does not matter
Thank goodness I can listen to you Stephanie 💕I am still healing ❤️🩹 🙏❤️
lol...I've 'lowered that 'bar', so drastically...I trip over it.'...
There are a lot of NEVERS! 😢
It's in watching videos like this that I know I'm not a narcissist.
I did have some serious narcissistic traits, and I've been focusing on overcoming them.
Dude, a narc would never self reflect long enough to click on this video. You are most likely engaging in reactive abuse to stay alive. Educate yourself. Stephanie’s channel is great. So is the little shaman
@@Clevelandsteamer324 I had toxic traits. Most likely because of childhood abuse, and some because of selfishness, fear, unmet needs, low self esteem, and limiting beliefs.
Being accused of being a narcissist (by a diagnosed narcissist) was actually a blessing, because it helped me discover my toxic traits so that I could work on them.
It's pointless staying a victim, we can also take accountability for where we went wrong, despite the injustices we feel are done to us.
Thanks for your encouragement :)
If you trigger them by holding them accountable, you will literally see their eyes turn black. It’s horrific to see the mask slip all the way. You are looking at the severely damaged inner child. Those of you that have seen this can attest to the validity of this horror
This happened to me. True story: I was done with my Aunts lies. I took on her responsibilities 4 taking care of my Grandmother. While she took all the credit. Like she was a hero for publicly (FB) thanking me and so forth.
Reality was she hated her own Mother and avoided at every cost taking Responsibility for anything. The will of course all went to her. I wasn’t expecting anything. I didn’t want money. I didn’t want my Grandma to go out being neglected and mistreated. So I took it. A week before my Grandma passed away is when my Aunt showed up. Because I called my Aunt out directly to her face in front of her husband. She still 3 years later taken responsibility for her actions. After my Grandma passed I made the decision to cut her off. Meaning if she needed me she can call me. I have received backlash from the rest of my family. I am the horrible person who is not allowing Codependency, manipulation or Enabling anymore. This hurts and I feel alone but I know it is for the best. For me and my future. Thank you ☺️
They want you to manage them but then accuse you of being controlling
I have written a poem about this It’s called beaten by words
You give great info, and don't push people toward anger toward narcicists, which will not work for them or you.
Having OCD means I relied heavily on order outside of myself, and before therapy I suffered from people pleasing and little self esteem. I don’t have envy for other’s accomplishments, and am not competitive with my friends, I was just deeply suffering from being behind in life. My parents are narcissistic, so I always thought I was selfish like them, but rumination over my actions is my number 1 compulsion. There are similarities with self centered behavior or a lack of presence when someone is dealing with anxiety, cptsd, addiction, or even being on the spectrum. My parents never modeled healthy relationships for me, so I had to learn how to connect (which is still hard but I’m doing it!).
Very informative. Wish I knew this over 10 years ago. Thank you👏
Omg...I never realized I had abandoned myself. Thank you. I shall rectify immediately ❤️
"Why do they do it? Do they know that they're being abusive?"
It doesn't matter. If someone is so sick that they're throwing up on you it doesn't matter if they aimed it at you purposely or not. Either way you're covered in sick. Get away from them. You deserve better.
Love your vids and have been a long time watcher. You have summed up my mother and her behaviour towards me all my life.
This is quite honestly the most effective and helpful video I've ever seen on the subject. Thank you!
You're very welcome!
That is so true , brilliant video
So Amazingly true!!!!!
Definitely 👍💯, Very informative and helpful.
Accurate. Great video
Them not being able to self regulate is what causes their impulsive and destructive behavior.... They are literally desperate to have their feelings and emotions regulated...... The fact is our feelings are a direct result of our thoughts.... And so most of what we feel emotionally at any given time is our own personal choice...... We can absolutely decide how we want to feel by gaining some measure of control over the thoughts we choose to entertain...... Cultivating this ability allows us to self regulate our feelings and emotions in a healthy manner....... This is something that people with npd have not developed.
❤Thank you are right !❤I will ❤not aloud this in my life❤
very interesting
Ty steph So true we cant let then dominate us💯with their actions
Powerful video thank you
Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us! Keep up the good works ! 💪💪👌👌
Great info
Thanks for sharing.
I like how you communicated this info!
Thank you for your teaching, this is gold .
So true!
Great content. Very helpful.
Glad you think so!
Thanks for your vids! Its sad when environment seems to create a narcissist, but itd be co dependent of me to think I can help!
And just remember, if you have to beat her, you don’t need her or him
Tgank you so much for that video! God bless us🙏
excellent ..........................thank you........................praise yahuah
Thankyou Stephanie you are excellent at your work 😘
Thank you so much!
It’s such a sad situation, and it pisses me off because it makes Me feel bad for them, knowing how effed their heads are
Thanks ‼️
💯
WOW !!
This video is a marvel of information.
I watched twice and will probably watch it again.
I slowded down the reading speed because English is not my usual language but also in order to better absord the priceless information.
Thank you so much! ❤
And they say they don't need anyone to make them happy.
I wonder if narcissist watch videos called - how to deal with normal people?
Thank you 💔😑
Please realize that the majority of people in executive positions at companies are hard core narcissists. How to succeed in business today is by being this way
I accept. ❤️🔥
OMG I just watched one of your videos from 5 years ago
This is the first time coming to your channel and that was the first video I watched and when I was watching the video I realized that Midway through your video talking about trauma bond that also I realize that most of the people that are abusers and trauma Bond relationships have narcissistic so please the universe is led me to your video to tell you this no joke would like to see a video on specifically (narcissistic abusers in trauma Bond relationships ) I and a lot of people need to know these two separate things out together bc it's important to know what kind of person usually traps a good person in a trauma bond normal people don't go around hurting people that hurt other people on purpose or a certain kind of people and I think there's certain kind of people are narcissist or have narcissistic behaviors/tendecies
KNOW YOUR TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.
SHE NEVER HAD SELF ESTEEM, NO BRAIN LOGIC, NOT MUSH SENSE.
NEVER FIGHT FOR HER, ONLY THEN CAN SHE FIGHT FOR YOU AND SHE WILL COURT YOU.
HURT PERSON CAN ONLY HURT ANOTHER.
What a lovely Woman 🙂
The narcissist I met knows exactly what she does in that N cycle .. and she is hell bent on doing it more
Mine was the same she knew exactly what she was doing. I was so abused.what is sad she was like that in high school.46 yrs ago it only got worse, she has got away with alot with men,I called her out and she was caught way off guard. I believe I was the only man that ever dumped her, she always ended the relationships, I blew her mind she could not believe I figured her out.
I feel it's a roll acoster and I feel half the blame of the relationship so I except people and me including that you have to look at both parties and be a better person with your self instead of blaming everyone else pull yourself up and think twice what's going on in this day I have too realise I can free myself in my own mind and not torture myself of thinking to much unbelievable it takes a while months or years I'm realising slowly it's a jigsaw puzzle you either work it out or you keep going !
*too much
Learning Brain 🧠 Survival Brain 🧠 Thanks….
Totally. A facade.
narcs are deep evil selfish is not enough if they speak to you it is to always get
If they do want supply why do they do everything they can to destroy it?
all they know is destroy. they want supply within whatever parameters they have set for you, what you are able to tolerate within those parameters. the deal breaker is always standing up to one, calling them out on their bs. watch the mask fall off, and the real monster is exposed. just laugh in their face, just to exemplify you know, and you care less than them.
Not all do right away. Once you don't align with their control, they abandon. Or they can't self reflect enough to realize the drama
Thank you. Do you have sessions on how to live with an overt/covert narcissist? I’m 71 and not going to divorce; how do I change my behavior to deflect his behavior?
I feel so weak today she was moving her things to her new supply apartment and my son was helping her even after she abandoned me and him his sister the house I feel betrayed by him and my ex wife does that make me a horrible person?
I agree 🤍🤍🕊️✝️✨
No some of these are symptoms of having to deal with the narcissists.. Narcissists can connect with poeple just fine.. That's their whole game.. But the kicker is 1. that it must do something for them otherwise you're just a piece of trash to them to abuse 2. They will abuse any leverage or power they have over you & aim to nudge you into this position
It's real life, Hunger Games!
My ex she used her past traumas to hook my empathy
🙏🏼
You should do your podcasts from the seat of a boat.
haha!
Exhausting just hearing this…..
Traumatizing holy cow
look out for #1👉💖👈 or step in #2💩.
Hey Stephanie at the end you said that some of them will just never get it, are there events in their life that will help make them get it? I feel like we have to be able to do something to make sure they eventually get it.
No! They are like a car that has a damaged frame from the factory. It can not be fixed. Watch Sam vaknin and little shaman. Literally months of free content