The really thinking they ate. Especially, the bi chick. What a joke. She's so damn goofy talking about "I understand what it takes to be a man". No you don't. They are literally explaining their confoundary to this man and he's letting them know they are hypocrites. They can't see it. Bro how does bi chick just not understand we don't want to date a man. She's acting like a man. We don't want that so we confronted her about it (the men) and she still is combative. And forget the delivery. If you don't like our raw delivery than thats too bad. Deal with it.
It’s very clear to me now that her girlfriend could do for her what she could not do for the men that she’s dated. So, it makes sense that she has found a happy relationship with a kind and nurturing woman that compliments her masculine energy. She said that femininity comes out naturally but a man has to bring it out. I’m surprised that Allen didn’t point out that contradiction as well.
From what I can tell from interviews, he avoids directly calling out people on their toxic behaviour to avoid confrontation. He'll use examples to try to make them come to their own understanding, because they will just argue.
Everybody always bring up grandpa having 2 families but dont bring up grandpa raising your mom not knowing he wasn't the dad. By the way both are wrong
Shhh you can't say that out loud because that would be holding grandma and women of that era and others acc... accou... accounta... damn it, I can't say it, smh
@@kiriende3691that part! I'm past tired of people, men and women, perpetuating this narrative. "Everybody grandfather had a family on the other side of town". How can "everyone's" grandfather have a family on the other side of town in a time when we were married at 70-80+%. Its statistically impossible
This conversation was a masterclass in filtering all of your information through your emotions! 👏 The failures of men and women in relationships have always been a struggle for power, equality and leverage based in fear, instead of them aspiring to have strong individual character, integrity and obligation based in respect, while choosing to pair with likeminded mates.
Black shirt with dreads made a point and then contradicted herself and I was trying so hard to feel her but nah. She said when she was the bread winner she would be disrespectful to her partner and think that if your not doing anything for me why would I need you. She was being honest and she saw she was wrong and claims she’s changed. Then turns around and says her mother raised her to be independent but doesn’t think that correlates to why she was disrespectful to the men she made more than. I think people look at their parents as angels and don’t see how the way they were raised made them have flaws. That doesn’t mean her mom is a bad mom or person but her learning to be independent and it’s ok to date men but not need them literally is the combination that makes her only want to date men that can improve her life. It’s a self way of thinking that turns her partner into just what they provide and they aren’t an individual. What self respecting man would be with a woman who put right tells you there’s no point of us being together if you’re not providing for me… she telling you she don’t love you she loves what you have.
And if she only dated men that she made more money than it was intentional so that she could be in control she was a conscious or subconsciously choosing those men. Now she's with a woman so that she can be the man and fake feminine at the same time
Life has taught me something very valuable about women. Those who want your money don't really care about relationships and marriage. Those who care about relationships and marriages, all they want are men of their words, that are consistent, reliable all year round , who treats them with dignity and respects. They don't really care about you being rich ..
In a relationship, it is your 'job'. For a man to make his woman feel feminine. And for a woman to make her man feel masculine. That is the service to each other. And how you serve each other is learned over time. Time, Communication, Humility are major components in the "love building".
It’s sad that the woman in a relationship with another woman never even acknowledged her contradiction around minute 48.00. I love these conversations that you do. But often times I’ve noticed that men who create these safe spaces of grace and understanding for women continue to have the accountability of women pushed aside to blame things on men often times. I hope that makes sense
Its a mistakr that men in these positions make. Kevin Samuels checked these narrative, otherwise the women think they clever and winning the intellectual battle using tactics
The one girl was super disingenuous during the provider portion of the conversation. The men usually aren’t the one with a problem when the women begins to make more. I’ve heard so many women who have testified their whole perspective/attitude/respect to her man changed when she got that promotion or started that business. It usually ends in breakup or divorce.
I’m open to being wrong but I don’t know that I agree with this. Men have an issue with a woman making more and it’s not Always tied to her attitude I think it’s something innate that makes him feel inferior. show me a man a large sampling of men totally comfortable with their wife or significant other making more 👀 . I think the ego won’t allow the admission that men just innately don’t like it…just like innately women having feelings about making more than their man.
@@2madwithajnot discrediting that point but I don’t believe that’s the majority nor main reason. Specifically in the black community, it’s the attitude that comes with it. Which was probably already there to a lesser degree but she now have a backbone of dollars. Point is if a woman respect a man she won’t do certain things irregardless of being the bread winner or not. Therefore the man would not have a problem in most cases. I think it’s that simple for majority. 51% or better. I believe woman need to put there ego up and just listen to this from men. We are literally telling you what we don’t like but some how nope it’s not that smh sad.
@kingjay1524 I agree regarding the respect factor but if there are internal matters going on my respect for you is not going to stop all problems. Again I just don't believe it is as small of an issue as men are portraying. AND I could be wrong because I'm not a man this is just based on observation and experience
I respect this guy, because he never break’s character or gets frustrated when they don’t seem to comprehend. The inability to give a man grace is reprehensible!
This man spoke clearly and slowly and plainly about how most men feel like women don’t consider what they value…….they basically responded and said it’s his fault lol smh women do not LISTEN to men even when they are directly telling them what they value ……..
Nope; still no grace given. Hard to incentivize some one to hand over their luxury & power... she put men wanting power at the start of this cycle . Not slavery not Jim Crow, not government assistance 😪. Wow
As I listen to this there is a lot of overthinking and that is what gets in the way of just enjoying the relationship. Women move on emotional things happen and men move with logic. Men required peace and women required what that particular person is looking for. Social media while in a relationship needs to be removed because you will find out that your relationship is being dictated by it.
I think a lack of thinking is the better word to describe this conversation. Sometimes the big dude said something that was way out there, but sound “good”. Yet the ladies here as a collective demonstrated the difference between hearing and listening, and ultimately selective hearing. They also were eager to respond, but can clearly see they were just making it up as they go. To see the others ladies sign off after the Ad Libs shows they are like this within their social bubbles where no one checks them. Yet , it is impressive at the same time, I can’t do that😂. Yet like you said seem their throughly process is 80% to regurgitate what they see on social 10% to listen for trigger points 5% reserved for cognitive reasoning 4% ad lib 1% daydreaming.
The lady with the locs is not qualified to talk about women to men relationships.. she's with a woman and can only talk about those relationship dynamics. And that's with the utmost respect
One last thing to note is he mentioned the buck analogy. Women say they want softer, emotionally intelligent, and caring men. But a lot of those men aren’t getting any sex so that should tell you they don’t really mean what they say and that’s not really what they are attracted to based off who they pick to “clone”
Good sir, while not taking anything away from the work you have probably put in to develop your communication skills...you have clearly been gifted with an ability to communicate, and articulate things from an unbiased point of view, and yet, certain women on this panel...still found ways to take many of your points and hit you with, "but the men"... I'd very much like to see you do a case study on communication...
The table is what both individuals bring to it. It may look different in individual homes...just like actual tables 🤔. Each partnership has to discuss what that means for them with the expectation of building the table together!
I’m so glad that there aren’t only these types of BW. Fellas, travel outside of this country and you will find a greater experience with women. Nothing has and will change. For every woman that is masculine, you can find a woman that feminine naturally.
As I very frequently have had these conversations with women the level resistance or unwillingness to receive what men are saying is crazy. The Host patience and delivery is unmatched, my frustration even watching this episode is how many times the same message has to be repackaged before any of the ladies could understand the point being made. I'm triggered whenever a woman responds with "Not All" or when they argue against a man perspective instead of listening to understand, knowing they can not speak to OUR experience
Great talk. It all about Community and Culture and Careers and Communication to me. Community- The people who are your example. Culture- How your community teaches the management of life. Careers- How we maintain provisions. Communication- Each party knowing the strengths, weaknesses, expectations and demons of the other.
The table is the relationship, what do you bring to the relationship ? What’s brought to the table is contingent upon what said person is looking for. For example, an impotent man could be looking for a woman with a child to fulfill his desire for children. In that example, the child is the object that is brought to the table. In most relationships, women want men to bring financial stability to the table and they bring _________ to the table. ( the blank is contingent upon the woman and her age)
The table is not this mythical, complicated concept. It is the union, or potential union. What do you bring to the union? How can you benefit the union? Do you benefit the union? That's it. Nothing else.
1:49:03 THIS out of this whole convo this is the passage of the day. It definitely sounded like competition with the two women every point was a counter point and “what if” and a “not my perspective “ and that’s cool but y’all definitely were listening to respond rather than listen to respect and understand
#Problem: Having these discussions in a *point for point* format isn't the most effective way because it fosters a debate and competitive (need to be right) atmosphere; which in turn triggers women to emotionally react... #Solution: Arguing point for point is like pouring fuel on fire. You kill fires by letting them burn themselves out of oxygen, NOT by giving them fuel. How do we do this practically? One way is the socratic method... Itscomplicated, on his youtube channel employs it masterfully and has demonstrated it to be the best way to get women thinking through discussions INSTEAD of feeling through them... Telling women what the truth is, is akin to giving a man a fish; whereas asking them the right questions socratically is akin to teaching them to fish. If men employ and master the socratic method, they will make women fight their own logic & emotions themselves as opposed to what we have currently (the women fighting the men)... #Synopsis: We have been going about our communication with women the wrong way. They aren't wired to be linear in their reasoning like men, so getting them from point A to B in a linear way feels unnatural & uncomfortable for them, especially with triggering topics. Men trying to talk to women how they talk to men is a recipe for chaos, frustration & insanity. It's counterintuitive, but women reason better through questioning rather than through direct answers... Only give direct consice answers to their direct consise questions but when it comes to explaining things to them, socratic questions yield bet results than long winded explainations their emotional state can easily tune out off... When you ask the right question & they hear the answer in their own voice (in their heads), they are more likely to believe it than if they heard the same answer in a man's voice. It's kind of backwards & solipsist l know, but that's how they are in emotionally volatile situations. We can only ADAPT and find ways to remedy it or let communication DIE. Just as "the game is to be sold, not told" with women, *the truth is to be coaxed, not told...*
Ngl bro, that’s too much work for a person that clearly doesn’t care to change their behavior. You can explain things in a million ways and they’ll still find a way to avoid the point. My favorite analogy is trying to get a child to stop jumping on the bed or couch. They see it as a great time and it makes them feel happy, but they’re not understanding the consequences of said action. You might fall off and nothing happens but you can also break a leg, hit your head on the ceiling or worse case scenario, crack your skull on the floor and die. Some kids hear the possibility of getting severely injured and stop, some continue to do what they do cause it brings joy and they think best case scenario, I’ll just get back up or think the worse won’t happen to them. CHILDREN understand this. We see it time and time again that our women seem to learn the hard way or when it’s too late. It’s heartbreaking because you know they didn’t have to go down a dead end road. They also chose to see the failure around them, whether it’s a mother, grandmother, aunt, homegirls etc. and change the behavior so they don’t become them. You shouldn’t have to explain and twist your words a million different ways to convey a simple message. They’re choosing to miss the point. They’re choosing to not to listen. They’re choosing so be combative just because of the messenger or how it was said. Truths are truths and we have to stop coddling grown ass adults because what was said hurts their feelings. They want the power of a man, while benefiting from one, the benefits of a woman and the accountability of a child. We’ve completely lost a good majority of our women. Best thing we can do as BM is chalk it up as a lost and raise your sons, daughters or any children in your proximity that you can give game to to do better than the generation before. A lot of BM are doing the work to be better men, fathers and providers after decades of constant bashing from everyone, especially our counterparts, and all we’re asking for is support, femininity and accountability. We’re ok with saying we aren’t shit. We’re ok with knowing the generations before us didn’t do what was supposed to be done. We know that some of these NIGGAS out here now are crash dummies and we don’t want to associate with that destructive behavior. So what do we do? We try to change the narrative. Our women seemed to be ok with the negative narratives and stereotypes if it means they don’t have to look themselves in the mirror as well and fix some of the issues x We want to love our women, we want to understand and give the grace, but the combative, masculine, brash nature is such a HUGE turn off that BM are leaving to start families outside of their race, and unfortunately, rightfully so. Instead of listening and trying to fix their behavior like a good amount of BM, they’d rather die alone. Let them. We don’t have to deal with it. Find you a BW with some sense or find someone who will respect you as a man, no matter who that is.
You are absolutely correct if the women in the conversation were willing to honestly and objectively answer questions. I've employed the same strategy you suggest and so far my experience hasn't differed from what we've seen here. It's just plated differently. Women can rapidly deduce that the correct answer to a question will expose the flaw in their argument. Not only does the answer trigger them but feeling like they've been steered into a corner doubles down on the trigger. The result I've encountered is a refusal to provide a clear and concise answer to the question. They either return fire with a question designed to discredit, deflect, or as a last resort, distract. If not, they sail right by the question with a "yeah but" or "that's nice but" then provide and alternative answer that forces a shift in the perspective from which the question was asked. The thinking is that the answer to a question should be the same regardless as to the perspective with which the question was answered. If you ask a chimpanzee if humans are tall, the answer is yes.....until they force you to acknowledge the perspective of a giraffe which may have zero contextual relevance. They will still lean on it. I am left to challenge their decorum and integrity by reiterating the fact that a refusal to answer questions is to ignore someone's perspective and is disrespectful. That will certainly initiate the process of nuclear fission within their brain housing group.
"There's not anything fundamentally wrong with just this gender or that gender" yet hasn't said anything positive about men and was quick to compare her gf to her previous male partners 🤦🏾♂️ cant make this shit up
I’m convinced that the only way these women now and days will understand is if they see everything in black and white written on a dry erase board throughout a conversation and see how they make a simple convo complicated asf.
Let me take a crack at this analogy 1:11:36 Guitar: life Strings : Family/career/ all the good stuff people want in life Callouses: events/trauma/accomplishments in life Music played: is a representation of how callous your fingers are. So to the question "who told you to play the guitar?", i mean we can agree we are a mamilian species that needs each other to survive so the guitar kind of just... exists. But I think if you didn't play you would be homeless maybe or an invisible person, which is usually a man.
My man has the patience of job. The bi girl is full of it. I’m confident enough to say that the men in this chat don’t believe for a second that she would be in her feminine if the guy was in his masculine handling business. The first step in recovery is acknowledging your issues. Non of the women on the panel were mature enough to do that. The man gave the google example that was logical as hell and all you saw were frowns and and a readiness to jump in to counter his point. Hence the reason why we will continue the BS infighting. Get out of your feelings and grow up.
1:08:27 it’s not about who told us to pick up the guitar. The point is women want men to do things that attract them not acknowledging the drawbacks of said activity we do.
While I enjoy and can agree to a certain extent that we are different in this age. I think we need to ask what is the purpose of marriage and relationship and how much do we value it in comparison to our parents and grandparents. Because when everything thing else is strip away we have each other. That’s what our parents and grandparents understood. Do we see it the same way and if not why do it.
The entire conversation was men listening to the women and acknowledging their perspective, and then when the men articulate their perspective, they are met with "but what about the men?" The fellas didn't check them about that, but the next time yall do this, make sure you don't allow them to deflect their accountability onto men. I'm a man who check most boxes for most women and the reason I wouldn't entertain these type of women are 1) they have ego issues. 2) they lack accountability. 3) they don't respect structure/order. So, the issue with most of these women is not that the men that they want aren't out there, the issue is that the men that they want don't want them.
"The Table" does not have all of these complicated re-definitions. The table is short for the negotiation table. In business when entertaining partnerships or even employment, all bring a skill or capital to the negotiation table and decide who compliments or supplements the needs of the business. So for courting or dating, The Table is the negotiation table for the potential relationship/marriage. You both come with skills/values/resources and your own wants/desires and you see if it can match with that of the other to have a beneficial relationship. So recap, "The Table" is short for the Negotiation Table which determines if you should move forward or not with the relationship.
Fuk DAT if the LIGHTS WENT OFF right now what will happen I'll WAIT
11 месяцев назад
How did I find this video? I don't know. It was cool to watch. I wish the word or words used in the future videos aren't always equated to the latest saying (the table).
It’s counterproductive to have a lesbian in this conversation. She only wants to derail the conversation because she’s not interested in the nuclear family.
I’m disappointed that some of these women couldn’t grasp the guitar concept. The concept that men are doing what they do to be more attractive to women in order to be selected. How is it that one can think they have no role in that? I get that not all women want the same things but as he said…on a macro level.
I was divorced in 2012 at 45 and I absolutely think we should ignore the options because that's what happened to eve did she had 3 options she choose the one God said she shouldn't have and I learned that women choose bad without a man
I'm noticing a theme that the women in this video are struggling to focus on the macro side of these relationship topics. its seems like if it doesn't apply to their own feelings then that POV is invalid.
@wnttalk something they didn't unstand and most women don't is that men have to to be generally attractive. Our strategy is to be attractive to as many mates as possible. Women try to be attractive to a certain type of individual
Can’t do to much about this man. Same old same old. No accountability. Men need to work on themselves and women are always right. Shame is a tough thing for most women.
This must be one of the most idiotic statement I constantly keep hearing all the times. You are responsible for your own happiness or to keep yourself happy. Yes, when you live by your self it make sense. But ones you add another opposite individual and kids into the equation, it's not about just you or dependable only on you anymore.. No, it's everybody around you responsibilities to do their very best not only you.
They are lying because because the movie enough with Jennifer Lopez was that not toxic masculinity. Did he not tell her what it was? And to deal with it, let me know.
Maybe he should have explained the meaning of the metaphor “What do you bring to the table”. It looks like every woman described “the table” based on her insecurity and coping mechanisms in their relationships. Everybody had a different definition based her ability to remain independent of the duties of actually brining something to the table or responsibilities. All of them give themselves some wiggle room, but when the question is asked them what do a man suppose to bring to the table, you get direct answers of tangible accomplishments & expectations with no room for error.
It’s sad women want men to become them and they want to be us while having no responsibility as a man. We may need to throw the entire “Sisterhood” away and start over..
1:03:52 smh Disrespect of Saint Kevin. But what would be cool is to have some black women on the panel like Kendra D Crimson Cure, or Pink Book Lessons, with these same ladies, because they also women and Don't need to pull any punches
Bruh I've seen women like these talk all that talk and throw everything out the door for a cute tall pookie in the hood who is unemployed. Women just like to hear themselves talk.
When the guy is trying to tell the rest of the ladies that average women bring the pressure towards men and they make it personal by saying not me. He saying average because thats what the average man goes through. Smh
47:41 what’s wild about what she said is the fact that he said he isn’t comfortable with her hanging with “male friends” he’s not masculine because of that? Why is it that women are so cool with dismissing men’s insecurities esp in Relationships?
Being a provider has more to do with your work ethic and how you handle money, rather than how much you have.. Plenty of folks making plenty money that are lazy and can't save. When the well runs dry does he have the backbone to dig again? Is he wise enough to stash vats? (Edited for spelling)
People are making this "TABLE" topic WAY TOO DEEP. Table = the relationship. Aka what do you bring to a relationship that your significant other would look at as a benefit to being with you...thats it 😂😂 damn
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The ladies scored a perfect 10 in mental gymnastics. Thank you for your patience.
That what I said. All that extra talking to really be saying nothing. The table is the relationship. They said everything but that
Flawless.
These are difficult truths to face. I’ll give them grace.
The table is ever changing lol no thanks, I’ll keep running after a new table
The really thinking they ate. Especially, the bi chick. What a joke. She's so damn goofy talking about "I understand what it takes to be a man". No you don't. They are literally explaining their confoundary to this man and he's letting them know they are hypocrites. They can't see it. Bro how does bi chick just not understand we don't want to date a man. She's acting like a man. We don't want that so we confronted her about it (the men) and she still is combative. And forget the delivery. If you don't like our raw delivery than thats too bad. Deal with it.
It’s very clear to me now that her girlfriend could do for her what she could not do for the men that she’s dated. So, it makes sense that she has found a happy relationship with a kind and nurturing woman that compliments her masculine energy. She said that femininity comes out naturally but a man has to bring it out. I’m surprised that Allen didn’t point out that contradiction as well.
From what I can tell from interviews, he avoids directly calling out people on their toxic behaviour to avoid confrontation. He'll use examples to try to make them come to their own understanding, because they will just argue.
That’s exactly what I came to comment. That was a crazy contradiction.
They’re lesbians?? Didn’t catch that.
But Allen did point out her contradiction
@@brianmoore4344 he pointed out a different contradiction, not the one that I mentioned
Everybody always bring up grandpa having 2 families but dont bring up grandpa raising your mom not knowing he wasn't the dad. By the way both are wrong
Or that they're framing rare ocvurences as the norm to justify their foolishness.
Straight up
Shhh you can't say that out loud because that would be holding grandma and women of that era and others acc... accou... accounta... damn it, I can't say it, smh
@@kiriende3691that part! I'm past tired of people, men and women, perpetuating this narrative. "Everybody grandfather had a family on the other side of town". How can "everyone's" grandfather have a family on the other side of town in a time when we were married at 70-80+%. Its statistically impossible
@@dredai accountable, there ya go I said it for you 😂
How can they generalize the grandfather having multiple families but cant fathom how most women are treating men.
How are most women treating men ?
@@Asfghjahsgf with no respect, trying to belittle them, getting pregnant by another man.. i.mean they're not all angels 🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
@@Asfghjahsgfsee how your dismissal of men but ok with the narrative of bm lol can’t make this shit up
This conversation was a masterclass in filtering all of your information through your emotions! 👏 The failures of men and women in relationships have always been a struggle for power, equality and leverage based in fear, instead of them aspiring to have strong individual character, integrity and obligation based in respect, while choosing to pair with likeminded mates.
Black shirt with dreads made a point and then contradicted herself and I was trying so hard to feel her but nah.
She said when she was the bread winner she would be disrespectful to her partner and think that if your not doing anything for me why would I need you. She was being honest and she saw she was wrong and claims she’s changed. Then turns around and says her mother raised her to be independent but doesn’t think that correlates to why she was disrespectful to the men she made more than. I think people look at their parents as angels and don’t see how the way they were raised made them have flaws. That doesn’t mean her mom is a bad mom or person but her learning to be independent and it’s ok to date men but not need them literally is the combination that makes her only want to date men that can improve her life. It’s a self way of thinking that turns her partner into just what they provide and they aren’t an individual. What self respecting man would be with a woman who put right tells you there’s no point of us being together if you’re not providing for me… she telling you she don’t love you she loves what you have.
And if she only dated men that she made more money than it was intentional so that she could be in control she was a conscious or subconsciously choosing those men. Now she's with a woman so that she can be the man and fake feminine at the same time
🎯
Life has taught me something very valuable about women. Those who want your money don't really care about relationships and marriage. Those who care about relationships and marriages, all they want are men of their words, that are consistent, reliable all year round , who treats them with dignity and respects. They don't really care about you being rich ..
💯 agree
Damn 📠
Agreed
In a relationship, it is your 'job'. For a man to make his woman feel feminine. And for a woman to make her man feel masculine. That is the service to each other. And how you serve each other is learned over time. Time, Communication, Humility are major components in the "love building".
A woman's strength is in her influence, POWERFUL WORDS
It’s sad that the woman in a relationship with another woman never even acknowledged her contradiction around minute 48.00. I love these conversations that you do. But often times I’ve noticed that men who create these safe spaces of grace and understanding for women continue to have the accountability of women pushed aside to blame things on men often times. I hope that makes sense
Its a mistakr that men in these positions make. Kevin Samuels checked these narrative, otherwise the women think they clever and winning the intellectual battle using tactics
Professional point missers
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! I love this statement!!!!! They are habitual line steppers!!! 😂😂😂
Perpetual babbling victims.
She is a lesbian, talking about heterosexual relationships. I don’t think she in her right mind
She certainly is NOT a part of this conversation, but he chose her.
Exactly I thought that too.
“I don’t need a man because I am one…..” geesh 🤷🏽🤷🏽…strong and independent is some bull, everyone needs someone….
The one girl was super disingenuous during the provider portion of the conversation.
The men usually aren’t the one with a problem when the women begins to make more. I’ve heard so many women who have testified their whole perspective/attitude/respect to her man changed when she got that promotion or started that business.
It usually ends in breakup or divorce.
I’m open to being wrong but I don’t know that I agree with this. Men have an issue with a woman making more and it’s not Always tied to her attitude I think it’s something innate that makes him feel inferior. show me a man a large sampling of men totally comfortable with their wife or significant other making more 👀 . I think the ego won’t allow the admission that men just innately don’t like it…just like innately women having feelings about making more than their man.
@@2madwithajnot discrediting that point but I don’t believe that’s the majority nor main reason. Specifically in the black community, it’s the attitude that comes with it. Which was probably already there to a lesser degree but she now have a backbone of dollars. Point is if a woman respect a man she won’t do certain things irregardless of being the bread winner or not. Therefore the man would not have a problem in most cases. I think it’s that simple for majority. 51% or better. I believe woman need to put there ego up and just listen to this from men. We are literally telling you what we don’t like but some how nope it’s not that smh sad.
@kingjay1524 I agree regarding the respect factor but if there are internal matters going on my respect for you is not going to stop all problems. Again I just don't believe it is as small of an issue as men are portraying. AND I could be wrong because I'm not a man this is just based on observation and experience
Black Females always run to “its based off my experience”
I respect this guy, because he never break’s character or gets frustrated when they don’t seem to comprehend. The inability to give a man grace is reprehensible!
This man spoke clearly and slowly and plainly about how most men feel like women don’t consider what they value…….they basically responded and said it’s his fault lol smh women do not LISTEN to men even when they are directly telling them what they value ……..
"it's not going to work"~ the Greek, szn 2 of the wire.
Nope; still no grace given. Hard to incentivize some one to hand over their luxury & power... she put men wanting power at the start of this cycle . Not slavery not Jim Crow, not government assistance 😪. Wow
Decision we had no choices in making talk about grace.
Talking to females is exhausting! Dude's patience is incredible!
These women were listening to respond. PERIOD
As I listen to this there is a lot of overthinking and that is what gets in the way of just enjoying the relationship. Women move on emotional things happen and men move with logic. Men required peace and women required what that particular person is looking for. Social media while in a relationship needs to be removed because you will find out that your relationship is being dictated by it.
I think a lack of thinking is the better word to describe this conversation. Sometimes the big dude said something that was way out there, but sound “good”. Yet the ladies here as a collective demonstrated the difference between hearing and listening, and ultimately selective hearing. They also were eager to respond, but can clearly see they were just making it up as they go. To see the others ladies sign off after the Ad Libs shows they are like this within their social bubbles where no one checks them. Yet , it is impressive at the same time, I can’t do that😂. Yet like you said seem their throughly process is 80% to regurgitate what they see on social 10% to listen for trigger points 5% reserved for cognitive reasoning 4% ad lib 1% daydreaming.
“Thought process”😂
Man, the table is the relationship.
Facts!
The table is the relationship. Period.
The lady with the locs is not qualified to talk about women to men relationships.. she's with a woman and can only talk about those relationship dynamics. And that's with the utmost respect
One last thing to note is he mentioned the buck analogy. Women say they want softer, emotionally intelligent, and caring men. But a lot of those men aren’t getting any sex so that should tell you they don’t really mean what they say and that’s not really what they are attracted to based off who they pick to “clone”
Good sir, while not taking anything away from the work you have probably put in to develop your communication skills...you have clearly been gifted with an ability to communicate, and articulate things from an unbiased point of view, and yet, certain women on this panel...still found ways to take many of your points and hit you with, "but the men"...
I'd very much like to see you do a case study on communication...
The table is what both individuals bring to it. It may look different in individual homes...just like actual tables 🤔. Each partnership has to discuss what that means for them with the expectation of building the table together!
I’m so glad that there aren’t only these types of BW. Fellas, travel outside of this country and you will find a greater experience with women. Nothing has and will change. For every woman that is masculine, you can find a woman that feminine naturally.
As I very frequently have had these conversations with women the level resistance or unwillingness to receive what men are saying is crazy. The Host patience and delivery is unmatched, my frustration even watching this episode is how many times the same message has to be repackaged before any of the ladies could understand the point being made. I'm triggered whenever a woman responds with "Not All" or when they argue against a man perspective instead of listening to understand, knowing they can not speak to OUR experience
Great talk. It all about Community and Culture and Careers and Communication to me.
Community- The people who are your example.
Culture- How your community teaches the management of life.
Careers- How we maintain provisions.
Communication- Each party knowing the strengths, weaknesses, expectations and demons of the other.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS DISCUSSION!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️&✌🏾
The table is the relationship, what do you bring to the relationship ? What’s brought to the table is contingent upon what said person is looking for.
For example, an impotent man could be looking for a woman with a child to fulfill his desire for children. In that example, the child is the object that is brought to the table.
In most relationships, women want men to bring financial stability to the table and they bring _________ to the table. ( the blank is contingent upon the woman and her age)
The table is not this mythical, complicated concept. It is the union, or potential union. What do you bring to the union? How can you benefit the union? Do you benefit the union? That's it. Nothing else.
How can women defend the idea of most women when you are NOT the men dating the women. What he is saying is absolutely 💯 correct MOST!!!
I wish I could see sis face when the Feminine woman says “I don’t know what’s it’s like to be masculine cause I’m not a man” lol
Solid work brother 💪🏾🔥
Great podcast,props to you for keeping the convo clean and substantive.
When you have a group of women together will always co-sign each other or make it a both of us have issues. They never take personal accountability.
1:49:03 THIS out of this whole convo this is the passage of the day. It definitely sounded like competition with the two women every point was a counter point and “what if” and a “not my perspective “ and that’s cool but y’all definitely were listening to respond rather than listen to respect and understand
@47:00 she definitely contradicted herself...leave her at home next time you do the table lol
They jump when you say men are wrong, But when you say women were wrong they combative 😂
bruh, how are they fighting everything the men are saying
#Problem: Having these discussions in a *point for point* format isn't the most effective way because it fosters a debate and competitive (need to be right) atmosphere; which in turn triggers women to emotionally react...
#Solution: Arguing point for point is like pouring fuel on fire. You kill fires by letting them burn themselves out of oxygen, NOT by giving them fuel. How do we do this practically? One way is the socratic method... Itscomplicated, on his youtube channel employs it masterfully and has demonstrated it to be the best way to get women thinking through discussions INSTEAD of feeling through them... Telling women what the truth is, is akin to giving a man a fish; whereas asking them the right questions socratically is akin to teaching them to fish. If men employ and master the socratic method, they will make women fight their own logic & emotions themselves as opposed to what we have currently (the women fighting the men)...
#Synopsis: We have been going about our communication with women the wrong way. They aren't wired to be linear in their reasoning like men, so getting them from point A to B in a linear way feels unnatural & uncomfortable for them, especially with triggering topics. Men trying to talk to women how they talk to men is a recipe for chaos, frustration & insanity. It's counterintuitive, but women reason better through questioning rather than through direct answers... Only give direct consice answers to their direct consise questions but when it comes to explaining things to them, socratic questions yield bet results than long winded explainations their emotional state can easily tune out off... When you ask the right question & they hear the answer in their own voice (in their heads), they are more likely to believe it than if they heard the same answer in a man's voice. It's kind of backwards & solipsist l know, but that's how they are in emotionally volatile situations. We can only ADAPT and find ways to remedy it or let communication DIE.
Just as "the game is to be sold, not told" with women, *the truth is to be coaxed, not told...*
well said. this what's used to get them out them pannies.
Kevin samuels and fresh and fit are good at getting women to understand arguments
Ngl bro, that’s too much work for a person that clearly doesn’t care to change their behavior. You can explain things in a million ways and they’ll still find a way to avoid the point. My favorite analogy is trying to get a child to stop jumping on the bed or couch. They see it as a great time and it makes them feel happy, but they’re not understanding the consequences of said action. You might fall off and nothing happens but you can also break a leg, hit your head on the ceiling or worse case scenario, crack your skull on the floor and die. Some kids hear the possibility of getting severely injured and stop, some continue to do what they do cause it brings joy and they think best case scenario, I’ll just get back up or think the worse won’t happen to them. CHILDREN understand this. We see it time and time again that our women seem to learn the hard way or when it’s too late. It’s heartbreaking because you know they didn’t have to go down a dead end road. They also chose to see the failure around them, whether it’s a mother, grandmother, aunt, homegirls etc. and change the behavior so they don’t become them. You shouldn’t have to explain and twist your words a million different ways to convey a simple message. They’re choosing to miss the point. They’re choosing to not to listen. They’re choosing so be combative just because of the messenger or how it was said. Truths are truths and we have to stop coddling grown ass adults because what was said hurts their feelings. They want the power of a man, while benefiting from one, the benefits of a woman and the accountability of a child. We’ve completely lost a good majority of our women. Best thing we can do as BM is chalk it up as a lost and raise your sons, daughters or any children in your proximity that you can give game to to do better than the generation before. A lot of BM are doing the work to be better men, fathers and providers after decades of constant bashing from everyone, especially our counterparts, and all we’re asking for is support, femininity and accountability. We’re ok with saying we aren’t shit. We’re ok with knowing the generations before us didn’t do what was supposed to be done. We know that some of these NIGGAS out here now are crash dummies and we don’t want to associate with that destructive behavior. So what do we do? We try to change the narrative. Our women seemed to be ok with the negative narratives and stereotypes if it means they don’t have to look themselves in the mirror as well and fix some of the issues x We want to love our women, we want to understand and give the grace, but the combative, masculine, brash nature is such a HUGE turn off that BM are leaving to start families outside of their race, and unfortunately, rightfully so. Instead of listening and trying to fix their behavior like a good amount of BM, they’d rather die alone. Let them. We don’t have to deal with it. Find you a BW with some sense or find someone who will respect you as a man, no matter who that is.
That’s smart I’ve said this too men like to debate and argue about everything women can’t handle that
You are absolutely correct if the women in the conversation were willing to honestly and objectively answer questions. I've employed the same strategy you suggest and so far my experience hasn't differed from what we've seen here. It's just plated differently. Women can rapidly deduce that the correct answer to a question will expose the flaw in their argument. Not only does the answer trigger them but feeling like they've been steered into a corner doubles down on the trigger. The result I've encountered is a refusal to provide a clear and concise answer to the question. They either return fire with a question designed to discredit, deflect, or as a last resort, distract. If not, they sail right by the question with a "yeah but" or "that's nice but" then provide and alternative answer that forces a shift in the perspective from which the question was asked. The thinking is that the answer to a question should be the same regardless as to the perspective with which the question was answered. If you ask a chimpanzee if humans are tall, the answer is yes.....until they force you to acknowledge the perspective of a giraffe which may have zero contextual relevance. They will still lean on it. I am left to challenge their decorum and integrity by reiterating the fact that a refusal to answer questions is to ignore someone's perspective and is disrespectful. That will certainly initiate the process of nuclear fission within their brain housing group.
"There's not anything fundamentally wrong with just this gender or that gender" yet hasn't said anything positive about men and was quick to compare her gf to her previous male partners 🤦🏾♂️ cant make this shit up
Its as simple as husbands love your wives, and wives Respect your husbands!!!$$$+++
I’m convinced that the only way these women now and days will understand is if they see everything in black and white written on a dry erase board throughout a conversation and see how they make a simple convo complicated asf.
Let me take a crack at this analogy 1:11:36
Guitar: life
Strings : Family/career/ all the good stuff people want in life
Callouses: events/trauma/accomplishments in life
Music played: is a representation of how callous your fingers are.
So to the question "who told you to play the guitar?", i mean we can agree we are a mamilian species that needs each other to survive so the guitar kind of just... exists. But I think if you didn't play you would be homeless maybe or an invisible person, which is usually a man.
My expectation of my life was like “imma get married at 28, have kids at 30” 💀💀 got married and had a baby at 21 😂
Don’t see the point in bringing a lesbian into a conversation for man woman relationship, it’s going to steer the conversation elsewhere
Crazy as hell.
That's what I said!!!!
EXACTLY!!
This convo was a circle.
The women refuse to learn and want to see the unity that the guys were trying to present.
IG bought me here thanks 🙏🏾 😊
Welcome brother!! A ton of DOPE content throughout the channel! SUBSCRIBE
My man has the patience of job. The bi girl is full of it. I’m confident enough to say that the men in this chat don’t believe for a second that she would be in her feminine if the guy was in his masculine handling business. The first step in recovery is acknowledging your issues. Non of the women on the panel were mature enough to do that. The man gave the google example that was logical as hell and all you saw were frowns and and a readiness to jump in to counter his point. Hence the reason why we will continue the BS infighting. Get out of your feelings and grow up.
1:08:27 it’s not about who told us to pick up the guitar. The point is women want men to do things that attract them not acknowledging the drawbacks of said activity we do.
While I enjoy and can agree to a certain extent that we are different in this age. I think we need to ask what is the purpose of marriage and relationship and how much do we value it in comparison to our parents and grandparents. Because when everything thing else is strip away we have each other. That’s what our parents and grandparents understood. Do we see it the same way and if not why do it.
1:34:40 I threw my hat at the screen. I give up 😂
Bruh... These women do not care... They are convinced of their superiority, period...
The entire conversation was men listening to the women and acknowledging their perspective, and then when the men articulate their perspective, they are met with "but what about the men?" The fellas didn't check them about that, but the next time yall do this, make sure you don't allow them to deflect their accountability onto men. I'm a man who check most boxes for most women and the reason I wouldn't entertain these type of women are 1) they have ego issues. 2) they lack accountability. 3) they don't respect structure/order. So, the issue with most of these women is not that the men that they want aren't out there, the issue is that the men that they want don't want them.
We have to understand it's a different time. And lions can't count money and women can.
It’s Aja for me. Her final thoughts were exact to mine.
Looking forward to watching the full episode. Might have to break it down because the mental gymnastics overloads my brain after it gets to a point😂
Allen's guitar analogy is the same as Patrice O'neals' fishing boat analogy.
"The Table" does not have all of these complicated re-definitions. The table is short for the negotiation table. In business when entertaining partnerships or even employment, all bring a skill or capital to the negotiation table and decide who compliments or supplements the needs of the business. So for courting or dating, The Table is the negotiation table for the potential relationship/marriage. You both come with skills/values/resources and your own wants/desires and you see if it can match with that of the other to have a beneficial relationship.
So recap, "The Table" is short for the Negotiation Table which determines if you should move forward or not with the relationship.
45:23 she said that her feminine comes out naturally then contradict s herself because we have to pull it out
This just sad! I can’t listen to women talk about relationships any longer. It gets worse every time I hear the next woman speak.
Fuk DAT if the LIGHTS WENT OFF right now what will happen I'll WAIT
How did I find this video? I don't know. It was cool to watch. I wish the word or words used in the future videos aren't always equated to the latest saying (the table).
As a woman, there were so many ah ha moments bur the ladies definitely missed it many times.
It’s counterproductive to have a lesbian in this conversation. She only wants to derail the conversation because she’s not interested in the nuclear family.
I’m disappointed that some of these women couldn’t grasp the guitar concept. The concept that men are doing what they do to be more attractive to women in order to be selected. How is it that one can think they have no role in that? I get that not all women want the same things but as he said…on a macro level.
You should consider joining us for a future episode.
I was divorced in 2012 at 45 and I absolutely think we should ignore the options because that's what happened to eve did she had 3 options she choose the one God said she shouldn't have and I learned that women choose bad without a man
@53:48 shes rocking back and forth... gentlemen,she doesnt have it all
I'm noticing a theme that the women in this video are struggling to focus on the macro side of these relationship topics. its seems like if it doesn't apply to their own feelings then that POV is invalid.
@wnttalk something they didn't unstand and most women don't is that men have to to be generally attractive. Our strategy is to be attractive to as many mates as possible. Women try to be attractive to a certain type of individual
49:22 “that’s a lie” completely shut down his perspective as a man 💀💀💀
The sister wit the dreads is still lost…
Can’t do to much about this man. Same old same old. No accountability. Men need to work on themselves and women are always right.
Shame is a tough thing for most women.
This must be one of the most idiotic statement I constantly keep hearing all the times. You are responsible for your own happiness or to keep yourself happy. Yes, when you live by your self it make sense. But ones you add another opposite individual and kids into the equation, it's not about just you or dependable only on you anymore.. No, it's everybody around you responsibilities to do their very best not only you.
I say this with love,Allen. You need to invest in some hair loss products. I believe you about to start losing your hair around episode 5.
LMFAOAOAOAO
1:04:24 the women began to
Soften the blow, this blow that’s being soften will extend to other women, thus, accountability will not be taken.
It'd be interesting to see Aba and Preach do a video in your content
You need a 53 year old in the panel. I'm glad to fill in
I really do believe that most women want to be men...
They are lying because because the movie enough with Jennifer Lopez was that not toxic masculinity. Did he not tell her what it was? And to deal with it, let me know.
Maybe he should have explained the meaning of the metaphor “What do you bring to the table”. It looks like every woman described “the table” based on her insecurity and coping mechanisms in their relationships. Everybody had a different definition based her ability to remain independent of the duties of actually brining something to the table or responsibilities. All of them give themselves some wiggle room, but when the question is asked them what do a man suppose to bring to the table, you get direct answers of tangible accomplishments & expectations with no room for error.
It’s sad women want men to become them and they want to be us while having no responsibility as a man. We may need to throw the entire “Sisterhood” away and start over..
Masterful analogies you put in this convo. Doesn't seem they were fully appreciated though
1:03:52 smh Disrespect of Saint Kevin. But what would be cool is to have some black women on the panel like Kendra D Crimson Cure, or Pink Book Lessons, with these same ladies, because they also women and Don't need to pull any punches
Bruh I've seen women like these talk all that talk and throw everything out the door for a cute tall pookie in the hood who is unemployed. Women just like to hear themselves talk.
They wanna keep playing devils advocate, and find excuses for evil behaviour.
When the guy is trying to tell the rest of the ladies that average women bring the pressure towards men and they make it personal by saying not me. He saying average because thats what the average man goes through. Smh
47:41 what’s wild about what she said is the fact that he said he isn’t comfortable with her hanging with “male friends” he’s not masculine because of that? Why is it that women are so cool with dismissing men’s insecurities esp in Relationships?
Being a provider has more to do with your work ethic and how you handle money, rather than how much you have..
Plenty of folks making plenty money that are lazy and can't save. When the well runs dry does he have the backbone to dig again? Is he wise enough to stash vats?
(Edited for spelling)
I’m glad she a lesbian, leave black men alone
SIMPLE!! If All women said we are no longer fuckin with gang members …..dudes will not join gangs at all 1:28:38
The bald head Sista was asked two questions at 1:49:50 she did not answer the questions, you can also see Allen’s facial expression because of it.
New to podcast looking forward to more 💯💯💯👌🏿
People are making this "TABLE" topic WAY TOO DEEP. Table = the relationship. Aka what do you bring to a relationship that your significant other would look at as a benefit to being with you...thats it 😂😂 damn
Short women are uncomfortable dating short men who are taller than them.
This terrible, Kevin S, we need you.