I identify as aro, wholeheartedly agree with this. I definitely find that society overemphasizes romantic realtionships, and that a small network of friends is what I really need for emotional support.
A con of having SAM is you get annoyed when people call a romance scene in a movie or TV show homosexual or heterosexual, because the scene had nothing to do with sex. A con of being aro is you hear queer people say "there's no platonic explanation for this," and it's something you do want to do platonically, but you know someone will call you homophobic is you say "yes it can be done platonically." A pro of being aro, for me, is having the language to express what I want in a relationship, which is emotional intimacy that's not tied to romance.
So an interesting thing happened when I was explaining aromamticism to a friend of mine .... They said, " Isn't is harder when your friends leave then ?My heartbreaks are only caused by my lovers but I think it is not the same for you." It occurred to me then that the energy I devote to platonic relationships is the same energy they devote to romantic relationships. Over the years as I have met more people I realised that most if not all alloromantic people see romantic attraction as the one true form of love and the concept of platonic love is almost non-existent so much so that affection towards the same sex or gender is viewed with homophobia and thus leaves no room for exploration.
Makes sense. I'm gray-ro, but my first heartbreak was when a really close friend I had and I stopped talking as we moved from elementary school to middle school.
In the U.S., it's not so much romantic relationships that get a financial benefit, it's marriage in particular. However, if you are disabled, you're likely to lose financial aid if you get married.
Ok I’m only a teenager and I know for a fact that marriages do NOT give you financial gain, at least not in the short term. America has this obsession with spending your life savings on renting a nice place, setting up parties, inviting guests and all that fancy stuff. It’s incredibly infuriating to me and feels almost satirical to see weddings in movies.
as an aro person, i do believe i kind of have a deeper understanding of how relationships can work outside of it just being labeled as romantic or sexual, but sometimes i feel a lil out of place thinking like this. at the moment, no ones really pestering me abt my relationship status but i worry that as i slowly immerse myself into adulthood, ill be pressured into one, since i guess adults should be romantically involved with someone bcuz blablabla, which is stupid!! that thing abt being proud as an aromantic really cheered me up, thank you for talking abt this!
I dont know how old you are but I found that people stop questioning you about your stutus after all your friends get married and have 2.4 children, because they just assume it must be a touchy subject or something. It does make life easier!
@@karenKristal really hope thatll be the case, where i come from people seem to like to ask those questions hahah but that does make a lot of sense! thank you!
It always makes me angry how some people leave their friends behind once they’re in a romantic relationship, and that if they were to prioritise their friends over the relationship then they would be seen as a bad partner
I’m an Aroace, I recently found out I was Frayromantic, I get random crushes on strangers or people I don’t not know that well but it fades away and I lose romantic attraction as get to know the person or think about dating them. I am a busy person, I have a lot of hobbies, a wonderful family, and wonderful friends, I don’t feel like I need to be in a relationship to be happy in life. I’d rather be single. Thankfully my mom accepts me because I was nervous to come out, she even think the flag is cute :D. It’s sad how society try’s to make people think dating a person is more important than friendships. I don’t have a lot of friends but the friends I have are so loyal and caring to me and I’m so grateful for it. Dating is not a priority to me. Happy Aromatic spectrum visibility month.
I feel like many of the pros of being aro are also the cons. Like, you don't experience romantic attraction so you don't have any inherent drive/desire to get into romantic relationships, but that means it's even more difficult to fit into societal norms/expectations (if that's something you still want to do). I would actually be quite interested to learn about/hear from aros who live seemingly 'normal' lives (married, possibly with kids) and hear about how their relationship works. P.S. I see Kirby... you getting the new Kirby game next month? :P
Not experiencing romantic attraction doesn't necessarily mean you don't have a drive for a romantic relationship. Cupioromantics exist, their desire for a relationship with a specific person are just not motivated by romantic feelings.
great video! the title alone shows one of the largest problems of Modern Society. our current and civilization is misusing the very nature of Love itself. Love is the natural state our entire existence is ran on, but many forget that real love also comes from a familial and friendship platonical type of sense. Platonic love alongside Self Love are the most important type of relationship, cause it first helps accept people for who they are. basically, Platonic Love is denied in society when it should be prioritized and embraced
This is SO important, I really wish more people know about this because romantic love is generalized as something everyone wants and needs in their life, when that's actually no true. Its disheartening for me to see that hierarchy in love, where people do not give the same importance to platonic love. Love isn't only about romance, friendship is awesome!
Also, KITTIES! 😻 SIDENOTE: It’s been a while, I know… no excuses, no regrets. I had some emotional turbulence over the past 12+ months, but thankfully it’s in the past where it belongs. The best bit? I’m fully comfortable with who I am once again, which makes finding “the One” not only possible, but inevitable! I’m ready for romance, and I just know my Mr. Right is somewhere out there! 💖
I have a question for the arospec ppl. I'm heteroromantic and sex favourable. I recently saw a picture of a guy I know on Instagram. I was very attracted to him but it was his shirt, arms and chest. I imagined touching him but it wasn't explicitly sexual, like touching a really nice art project or wanting to go somewhere in an image of a really cool place. In my shock to my reaction, I tried to imagine sex and was not interested in anything related to genetalia or kissing but I can imagine arousal from the sensual experience. Would anyone consider moving to a grey-ace identity for something like this?
I identify as pan aroace. It sounds like you're not completely ace, but you decide whether to use the term "gray-ace." There are many ways to be ace-spec; for example, experiencing sexual attraction rarely, experiencing sexual attraction under specific conditions, experiencing a weak form of sexual attraction, or experiencing something else that is sort of similar to sexual attraction. Personally, I don't identify as gray-ace because people usually think of this as experiencing sexual attraction rarely, and this isn't an accurate description of me, but you can use the label more broadly if you want.
I'm no expert of course, but to me it sounds a bit like aesthetical attraction? (could be romantic, but I don't really understand that so can't say much about it) Also, arousal/libido/wanting to have sex are not things that aren't asexual. The most common definition of asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not the lack of interest in sex. There are separate terms for that (like the sex favourable). Personally I think (tho it might not be of much help) that labels are there for you to feel more comfortable. If you feel like it fits you, even if others don't agree, you should use it. It might also be useful/interesting/whatever to look up some other terms like oriented ace (I don't really know much about this one so can't help you with that).
I identify as aro, wholeheartedly agree with this. I definitely find that society overemphasizes romantic realtionships, and that a small network of friends is what I really need for emotional support.
A con of having SAM is you get annoyed when people call a romance scene in a movie or TV show homosexual or heterosexual, because the scene had nothing to do with sex.
A con of being aro is you hear queer people say "there's no platonic explanation for this," and it's something you do want to do platonically, but you know someone will call you homophobic is you say "yes it can be done platonically."
A pro of being aro, for me, is having the language to express what I want in a relationship, which is emotional intimacy that's not tied to romance.
So an interesting thing happened when I was explaining aromamticism to a friend of mine ....
They said, " Isn't is harder when your friends leave then ?My heartbreaks are only caused by my lovers but I think it is not the same for you."
It occurred to me then that the energy I devote to platonic relationships is the same energy they devote to romantic relationships.
Over the years as I have met more people I realised that most if not all alloromantic people see romantic attraction as the one true form of love and the concept of platonic love is almost non-existent so much so that affection towards the same sex or gender is viewed with homophobia and thus leaves no room for exploration.
Oh that explains so much! Heartbreak!
Makes sense. I'm gray-ro, but my first heartbreak was when a really close friend I had and I stopped talking as we moved from elementary school to middle school.
Yea, my heartbreak came from my friends, not lovers.
In the U.S., it's not so much romantic relationships that get a financial benefit, it's marriage in particular. However, if you are disabled, you're likely to lose financial aid if you get married.
So..
If im married, i get financial gain. But if im disabled, i lose that?
What about disability insurance?
AMERICA EXPLAIN!
@@nathanjereb9944 it’s also true in the UK
marriage is what is seen as a romantic relationship
Ok I’m only a teenager and I know for a fact that marriages do NOT give you financial gain, at least not in the short term. America has this obsession with spending your life savings on renting a nice place, setting up parties, inviting guests and all that fancy stuff. It’s incredibly infuriating to me and feels almost satirical to see weddings in movies.
as an aro person, i do believe i kind of have a deeper understanding of how relationships can work outside of it just being labeled as romantic or sexual, but sometimes i feel a lil out of place thinking like this. at the moment, no ones really pestering me abt my relationship status but i worry that as i slowly immerse myself into adulthood, ill be pressured into one, since i guess adults should be romantically involved with someone bcuz blablabla, which is stupid!!
that thing abt being proud as an aromantic really cheered me up, thank you for talking abt this!
I dont know how old you are but I found that people stop questioning you about your stutus after all your friends get married and have 2.4 children, because they just assume it must be a touchy subject or something. It does make life easier!
@@karenKristal really hope thatll be the case, where i come from people seem to like to ask those questions hahah but that does make a lot of sense! thank you!
It always makes me angry how some people leave their friends behind once they’re in a romantic relationship, and that if they were to prioritise their friends over the relationship then they would be seen as a bad partner
I’m an Aroace, I recently found out I was Frayromantic, I get random crushes on strangers or people I don’t not know that well but it fades away and I lose romantic attraction as get to know the person or think about dating them. I am a busy person, I have a lot of hobbies, a wonderful family, and wonderful friends, I don’t feel like I need to be in a relationship to be happy in life. I’d rather be single. Thankfully my mom accepts me because I was nervous to come out, she even think the flag is cute :D. It’s sad how society try’s to make people think dating a person is more important than friendships. I don’t have a lot of friends but the friends I have are so loyal and caring to me and I’m so grateful for it. Dating is not a priority to me. Happy Aromatic spectrum visibility month.
As aro/ace, I keep forgetting why I put so much value in friendships. Idk it just slips my mind sometimes lol
I feel like many of the pros of being aro are also the cons. Like, you don't experience romantic attraction so you don't have any inherent drive/desire to get into romantic relationships, but that means it's even more difficult to fit into societal norms/expectations (if that's something you still want to do). I would actually be quite interested to learn about/hear from aros who live seemingly 'normal' lives (married, possibly with kids) and hear about how their relationship works.
P.S. I see Kirby... you getting the new Kirby game next month? :P
Not experiencing romantic attraction doesn't necessarily mean you don't have a drive for a romantic relationship. Cupioromantics exist, their desire for a relationship with a specific person are just not motivated by romantic feelings.
@@farisakhtar4824 Thank you for your reply/insight!
Am I getting Kirby??? Of course I am getting Kirby!!! 🤣
@@farisakhtar4824 As someone who could be considered cupioromantic, I second this.
great video! the title alone shows one of the largest problems of Modern Society. our current and civilization is misusing the very nature of Love itself. Love is the natural state our entire existence is ran on, but many forget that real love also comes from a familial and friendship platonical type of sense. Platonic love alongside Self Love are the most important type of relationship, cause it first helps accept people for who they are.
basically, Platonic Love is denied in society when it should be prioritized and embraced
This is SO important, I really wish more people know about this because romantic love is generalized as something everyone wants and needs in their life, when that's actually no true. Its disheartening for me to see that hierarchy in love, where people do not give the same importance to platonic love.
Love isn't only about romance, friendship is awesome!
Thanks for another great vid. If it wasn't for your channel I would have never found out I was aro. Also thanks for spreading positivity.
I have the exact same stance on negativity as you. 💛
Also, KITTIES! 😻
SIDENOTE: It’s been a while, I know… no excuses, no regrets. I had some emotional turbulence over the past 12+ months, but thankfully it’s in the past where it belongs.
The best bit? I’m fully comfortable with who I am once again, which makes finding “the One” not only possible, but inevitable! I’m ready for romance, and I just know my Mr. Right is somewhere out there! 💖
"Hello there, and welcome to the video"
"General Daniel!"
I have a question for the arospec ppl. I'm heteroromantic and sex favourable. I recently saw a picture of a guy I know on Instagram. I was very attracted to him but it was his shirt, arms and chest. I imagined touching him but it wasn't explicitly sexual, like touching a really nice art project or wanting to go somewhere in an image of a really cool place. In my shock to my reaction, I tried to imagine sex and was not interested in anything related to genetalia or kissing but I can imagine arousal from the sensual experience. Would anyone consider moving to a grey-ace identity for something like this?
I identify as pan aroace. It sounds like you're not completely ace, but you decide whether to use the term "gray-ace." There are many ways to be ace-spec; for example, experiencing sexual attraction rarely, experiencing sexual attraction under specific conditions, experiencing a weak form of sexual attraction, or experiencing something else that is sort of similar to sexual attraction. Personally, I don't identify as gray-ace because people usually think of this as experiencing sexual attraction rarely, and this isn't an accurate description of me, but you can use the label more broadly if you want.
I'm no expert of course, but to me it sounds a bit like aesthetical attraction? (could be romantic, but I don't really understand that so can't say much about it) Also, arousal/libido/wanting to have sex are not things that aren't asexual. The most common definition of asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not the lack of interest in sex. There are separate terms for that (like the sex favourable). Personally I think (tho it might not be of much help) that labels are there for you to feel more comfortable. If you feel like it fits you, even if others don't agree, you should use it. It might also be useful/interesting/whatever to look up some other terms like oriented ace (I don't really know much about this one so can't help you with that).
i would love an asexual equivalent for this!