Our DM had us fight the literal Grim Reaper. As he appears the DM tried to use a "spooky scary voice" while yelling "I. Am. Death!" Our Cleric says, "oh." Then begins using sign language. (Which the player knew in real life) The DM paused for a minute before realizing what the cleric was doing. "I said DEATH you asshole!"
@@ivebenwatching He didn't "say" anything, but he was using sign language as if the Grim Reaper had said "I am deaf." due to the DM trying to use a spooky voice.
"I am now making it my personal business to meddle in your affairs. Constant setbacks? Me. Vandalized lairs? Me. Run out of toilet paper? Me. I swear to whatever god you believe in that whenever some misfortune befalls you, you will have to contemplate whether it is simple bad luck or my psychotic machinations!"
That's some Colonel Philips energy, from Captain America: The First Avenger. "Cut off one head, 2 more shall take it-" *Dies from shotgun* "Let's go find 2 more!"
BBEG, at 1 HP, holding me by the throat: “Where is your faith now, mortal?” Me, a paladin also with 1 HP: “About three feet above you.” *SUMMON CELESTIAL*
My best was probably when my sorcerer, who explodes when dropped to 0hp, killed a recurring antagonist with said skill. Antagonist, stabbing said sorcerer in the heart: "You're all Pawns in a game you can't even begin to comprehend." Sorcerer, grabbing his sword arm and pulling him close as the blast goes off: "Pawn takes King. Checkmate you bastard." Cue the death burst taking out a suddenly terrified evil doer. Said sorcerer went on to fight another day thanks to some prompt healing. But yeah, that moment still lives in my head rent free.
Had a player that was a stage magician fighting an actual wizard. He beats the wizard with cunning and trickery and then finishes him off with the line “the best tricks are real.” Then shoots the evil wizard dead with a gun.
Reminds me of the HP lovecraft story where a guys family was cursed for the men to die before like 30 or something by a wizard, but then they find out the guy is just breaking in and shooting them
My Barbarian Monk was woken up from a rest by a Bandit attack and took the Bandit Leader and told him "You have disturbed my inner Zen. I shall restore it by putting you through that wall."
I think mine is probably still this. We're in a Yuan-Ti temple to rescue a dwarf. I missed a month due to an illness, before the game session starts the DM hands me a note that one of my bard's past lovers was in the temple. We're preparing to rescue the dwarf who is about to be sacrificed and the DM sends me another note to tell me the priestess is the past lover. The party is ready to fight and my bard just walks into the room and says "Hi Honey, I'm home."
BBEG "you think yourself worthy enough to know my name as if you have bested me?!" Monk: "no, I won't need to be better than you to leave you in an unmarked grave."
I love this. This is comforting. I imagine some men defending their families have thought something like this, while others simply thought that He'd agree. After all, YHVH-GOD is Father. He knows perfectly that feel of defending your loved ones. Yet, He is still WAY more forgiving - to the sin-cere.
My favorite was when an NPC was refusing to share important information and a PC said: "There is a saying that there are more than one way to skin a cat, and the same wisdom applies to people as well. I, personally, have found 22 ways to skin a human, which is a bit unfortunate as my favorite number is 23. So, if you continue to be difficult and continue to stand in our way, then it will make me very happy..." (said all this while sharpening a knife)
Everybody looked down on my fighter because she was a farm girl to start with. And she knew it. "Y'all look down on me 'cause I'm a farmer. But I'll be the one lookin' down on y'all once I break yer kneecaps."
Less the line itself, more how it was delivered. "Step away from the cleric." Said by the party's barbarian after tackling a fourteen foot tall ogre through a solid stone wall, killing said ogre. These kinds of entrances made it a joke in the group that the barbarian was the party's Hulk or Broly.
While DM'ing, I had my BBEG take out a town that the party saved previously. He brought up how his cult wanted souls to complete a ritual, and the party cleric immediately laid into him about the preservation of life and ended it with, "What even are they to you?!" My BBEG paused, and simply said, "They're in the way." My players told me that they had chills go down their spine from that- one of the best compliments I've ever gotten.
My character was on the ropes by a side villain, and we were both at low HP. He pins me to the wall by my neck and asks me, “I have ended many bloodlines before, but none as pathetic as yours. What do you think of this?” As I roll a nat 20 with disadvantage on impaling him with my shotgun-glaive, I say to him “Killing broods of flies doesn’t count,” before I shot him into the far wall. As he’s teleporting away and doing the whole “I will return, and I will have my vengeance!” sctick, I look him dead in the eyes and say, “If you run, you’ll only die tired.”
Villain, fleeing: "You've just made an enemy for life, do you hear me? For LIFE!" Ranger, drawing her bow, speaking casually: "Well, that won't be long." Nat 20; villain dies.
After surviving about 4 nukes to the face by gods beyond compression because of a few good con saves one guy says " what's with the flashlights I thought you were gods" and then promptly stabbed them to death with a stick he found
Quoted by the wizard who is trying to make up for their past sins, he adopted a child and tried to train as an apprentice, and said apprentice contracted a berserker virus and went on a murderous rampage with magic later in the campaign. He then states: “Unlike me, my child, thou shall be in heaven.” And he then casted Power Word: Kill
My Goliath Barbarian ripping a locked door off the hinges and yelling "knock knock" was pretty good, but, the Warlock in our party casting Sleep on an enemy flying a lethal distance above the ground and saying "Sweet dreams" as she plummeted to her death takes the cake.
God, I had a Goliath barbarian that constantly broke doors, not intentionally, he just did not realize pull doors were a thing. First boss fight we almost died because we were under level as I just kept breaking doors and accidentally took the direct path to the boss
This was a line I used in Old Gods of Appalachia (from Cypher System) Basically my character is a bee farmer, mostly selling honey, and is some cases mead due to the 18th ammendment. They normally sell for $25 per gallon, and I was selling 2 gallons to one location. However they only gave me $30, I inquired about the incorrect amount, but the girl replied, "You can take that up with my father.", and her face when I replied, "Very well.", and left her. I then find the owner, put my hands on the table saying, "For some reason, the girl downstairs says my mead is only worth ⅗ths the value of other alcohol, but I'm sure we can find the rest, right?" The guy laughed asking, "We? You and what army?" I then spend an intellect point as a swarm of yellow jackets emerge from my pack and begin to hover over us as I add, "Should I also ask Smith & Wesson to help?" So he slid me a 20, the yellow jackets returned to my bag, and I left. Normally my character has an Inability in Social Interactions due to being an Outcast, but I didn't even need to roll for that conversation due to being Masters the Swarm foci. TLDR: He is the Thorax, he speaks for the Bees.
I have learned the terrifying truth that wasps and their ilk can bond with humans and I'm gonna tell you right now if *anyone* had a *swarm of attack hornets in a backpack* FOR ANY REASON I think I would die screaming right then and there before any of them even stung.
@@HamzaAli-lk5ul They let him go, they told him "you may go now but we know in the future you will die in the Prime Material and be reborn here! Ten years, twenty, thirty year? Time is nothing HUMAN to us but you WILL be back sooner than you think, hahahahahaha!"
BBEG: You talk a big game, but without your weapons and armor, all you got is words and a charming smile. My dhampir paladin, about to channel a smite through her fangs: You’re half right.
My character was the one who said the line. Theodore Stormstrike (Level 6 Tempest Cleric who is a Chaotic Good Gnome) was known to be a very goofy and not-at-all serious character. He had never even been in a real fight before this. However, when our party was traveling by boat across the ocean, a Frost Giant attacked us. I roll a 1 on initiative, but my bonuses allow me to move before the giant. The other party members were focusing on whittling down the giant, but it was looking like we couldn’t finish it quick enough, and it was threatening to TPK us. (The DM said this after the battle ended.) Finally, it’s Theodore’s turn. Faced against the odds and staring in the face of death… the goofball’s squeaky, high-pitched voice suddenly grew deep and serious. He Command worded the Frost Giant to YEILD. It ended up working, and the Giant fell to its knees, allowing the team to decapitate it, before it could even attack us. I have since made it a tradition for Theodore to use a serious voice whenever using Command.
When the Party Comedy Relief turns out to be an Elder God slumming it...or much like Saitama, they play comedy relief because they know what happens when they actually get serious...
A woman that a halfling paladin named Osgin Reedhill loved turned out to be a parasitic monster. In tears, the woman now a monster asked if the player could still love her even in her true form. The player shocked everyone at the table by taking her clawed hand and saying, "Of course. Nothing has changed between us." That player had been incredibly hostile to monsters, and seeing him put all that aside instantly was unexpected. He ended up marrying and learning to coexist with his bride, even accepting the loss of his holy powers due to conflicts with his God. The most intense change to the Warlock class I've yet seen.
What kind of monster if you remember and see this? Also, that would definitely be one of the most moving moments you could ever witness. The power of LOVE strikes again!
@@runicebony1495 A were leech. Think of a humanoid upper half with smooth, pale skin and a worm-like lower half. That they even kept any proportions of being a human is a miracle of control and she was not alone in being like this. She was born from an unnatural union of essences by a magical practitioner that we eventually got to meet. The wizard, as we had no better way to describe them, was trying to hybridize creatures to make superior ones, forcing the hand of evolution forward against its will. When he learned that not only did some of his experiments survive but had prospered, it finally put a stop to his work. He had succeeded and the creatures he unleashed would propagate and advance his dream. Then he died, the last desire of his life finally sated and giving him reason to rest. The former Paladin actually kept the wizard's work to help him understand what his wife and others like her are. He now travels the land with her, trying to help those experiments who have not prospered yet and are facing persecution or hardship.
I was playing a Barbarian who took two very high damaging attacks (one of which I believe was a crit) and tanked them well. His turn comes up and he begins acting hurt and panting. “That… that hurt…” He says between pants before gripping his Greataxe, taking a run at the monster that had just hurt him, and suddenly dropping the feinting of injury, to finish his sentence, screaming, “MY FEELINGS!” Note this was a line I had come up with nearly 20 years ago that has worked its way into many stories I’ve written into fight dialogue for many attempted novels.
I've pulled the "I can keep doing this all day!" Cap Quote out a time or two. Usually when I'm taken down to only a few hit points from full in one turn.
My character had a bit of a catchphrase, that being "Just doing what I have to". I'm not sure why, but the feeling of having him say that with a completely straight face to an elder god congratulating him on completing his grand quest and Saving The Freakin' Universe™ was just unparalleled
My best was playing my Zealot Barbarian named Strath TLDR: He yelled, "You're fighting ME know!" against a seemingly unwinable boss, drawing its attention to him allowing him to tank damage for his party (enough to kill most of the them), dying in the process but buying them enough time to win A little thing about our DM, he creates very detailed and in depth worlds. This partially leads into scenarios, like in an open world RPG, where you will run into baddies/events that your party aren't ready for. Our DM does however, gives subtitle hints when we're about to take on something we're not ready for The group of players we play with are rather smart and in worlds like this one, it's not uncommon for us to run into very difficult scenarios that we shouldn't have been able to get to but unknowingly find loopholes to do so. Our DM doesn't play games, if we find a loophole, he rolls with it One such time, we were in a shadow/inverted plane from our own. We wanted to go into a temple in this inverted/shadow reality but found that the doors were locked and nothing we did was allowing us access into the temple. Turns out later that we were supposed to do a whole long questline to eventually get access into the temple. Queue our party finding a loophole that our DM didn't think about. We used gaseous form to slip between the cracks of the door and get into the temple. Our DM, since he didn't have a contingency in place for such a tactic, allowed us to slip into the temple Queue him giving us multiple hints that this wasn't a good thing. It was pitch black in there, we felt a general sense of unease, our primal part of our brains were telling us to run, ect Thing is, my Zealot Barbarian was lead to believe there was important details regarding his backstory within this temple. That he needed to embrace the darkness bravely to seek the answers he needed. So he encouraged the party to press onwards into the darkness of the temple Then a giant golden specter, reaper like angel appeared in front of the party and initiative started. This thing was about four times taller than Strath was and Strath was a Goliath. It was immediately clear that this thing was out of our capabilities to win against. We play homebrew and this thing was quickly tearing through our party. No one was down right away but it was VERY clear that we were in trouble and had to flee or die. Issue was that this thing was really fast and could lock people down in place My barbarian, realizing that he just likely lead his party into death, roared at this entity, "You're fighting ME now!" his first turn (wasn't high in initiative) and squared off against it Little did we know until after the fight, this entity was once a samurai master. It saw Strath's words as a challenge to a duel in which it honored and focused on Strath alone (while the party also fought it). Strath tanked hundreds of HP worth of damage, easily enough to wipe most of the party. He came back from unconsciousness multiple times in the fight but eventually was killed outright. The same turn he was killed our other frontline fighter was knocked unconscious in the same round (lots of attacks from the enemy). Luckily the party finished the boss shortly after and won Strath's challenging words of, "You're fighting ME now!" allowed the party to prevail against a boss they were outmatched for and his sacrifice saved them from his mistake of leading them into that fight. Our DM had thought it was going to be a TPK or multiple of us were going to be left behind as the others fled Luckily being a Zealot barbarian we were able to revive him soon after that fight. Was a badass fight that I have artwork for of Strath after his sacrifice. The most badass thing I've had happen with one of my characters playing DnD so far
I played a Zealot, good ole Ulthok, a bronze dragonborn with a particular hatred of chromatic dragons. The penultimate battle of the campaign, we have to deal with an ancient green dragon, a high level wizard (who dropped a meteor storm on us at one point), and a gaggle of powerful minions (we're lvl 14). Ulthok walks out in front of the whole group, intentionally blowing any chance of an ambush, but that's fine. "Hear me wyrm! I am Ulthok Urozhar, last of the Tribe of Ulthrakar, Champion of the Platinum Dragon, and I am your doom. I deny you a name, because you are weak and unworthy of it. I will claim your life, your lair, and your hoard. I will use your scales as leather and grind your bones to dust. I will destroy all that you are. I will ensure that none remember your name. And you will do nothing to stop me, because you can do nothing to stop me." Other than some AOE spillover, I was the only one to engage the dragon or be engaged by it. Dropped a total of 540 damage on it while everyone else dealt with the wizard and minions. It focused only on me. And I dropped dead immediately after it did. DM and I decided that my soul was not available for resurrection, as Bahamut had finally granted me peace.
I've said a few lines I'm proud of. There was some sort of hag that showed us our greatest fears. I passed all my checks and broke out of the illusion on the first turn. That's when I said, "Right now, my greatest fear is not being able to stop you." There was also a cult leader that mostly spoke in Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics (it was a filler arc since half the party couldn't make it). After tanking a bunch of his attacks (about 22 damage per hit), my turn came up and I said, "Your heart may be ringin' now, but in a second, it's gonna be your head."
I'll never forget hearing my mate (playing an undead Gnoll) who crit on her intimidation looming behind my pc, looking at the bandit we failed to sneak past and saying "I'm going to eat your eyes now" in a broken raspy hyena laugh. Ngl my head whipped around so fast I thought it was going to break.
I played as a Twilight Domain Cleric who was always so soft spoken and hesitant at times. But whenever combat came around, he would become usually serious. The party didn't know the reason why until some mercenaries showed up who knew my character. They were after him, after all. The party managed to capture the one in charge and tie him up. While questioning him, the mercenary starts to taunt my cleric about his abusive home life and poked the bear. The moment that followed is easily my best to date. My cleric simply reached out and grabbed him by the jaw mid sentence, and said this. "You still talk too much." Before casting a third level Inflict Wounds and rolling almost max damage. My cleric RIPPED HIS JAW OFF and walked away as the man died horribly and painfully.
PF2E, high level monk is dueling against a cleric. Cleric has blinded him and deafened him, but he doesn't give up. High enough level that he can roll acrobatics to land on the wind during a jump, he does so and tears off a piece of his own robe to tie a blindfold around his newly ruined eyes, using the motion to disguise triggering a detect life item. The cleric moves into range quietly, taking a chance to heal themselves, but the monk nat 20s on perception to find the cleric with the magic sense. Blindfolded, the monks face turns to follow the cleric and he whispers "I see you."
My Mad Scientist PC: "so how do you control them? voice? pheromones?" Bee Orientor Boss: "WITH MY MIND!" Mad Scientist PC: *readies cloud of daggers* "Good, then I only need your head."
I had a ranger who got their arm cut off mid battle and instead of abandoning the thought of using a bow he lied down & used his legs to sort of hold the bow pulling it back with his arm (essentially loading himself like a ballista) & clocked bbg in between the eyes saying “you should’ve gone for the head” & snapping his fingers together
I usually never have a story to post. But, today i have one. In the only game of D&D i have been fortunate enough to play i played a human fighter (bland i know) and we had stumbled upon an orc warband. My two man party was mercifully just brought to the war chief where i challenged him to one on one combat for our freedom. He laughed and leaned closer to me saying "you see these scars? They show i have conquered many foes." I responded "my lack of scars just shows i did it better" we fight where i proceed to roll flawlessly and obliterate him without him landing a hit.
More darkly comedic then badass, Villian: what is on your face Wizard muffled: it'sagasmask Villian: and why do you have it Wizard muffled: oh,becauseofthegas Villian: what gas Wizard: ... thisgas *que cloudkill and force cage*
The greatest one liner I ever witnessed involved a gentlemanly boxing monk (Think Dudley from Street Fighter) and a foppish evil baron named Lord Bleublanc who was one of the BBEG's lieutenants. The Baron had lured the party to a feast, captured them, and kept them in individual cells in the same room so he could periodically come and gloat. After the second time he makes his rounds the Rogue manages to pick the lock to his cell and escape while also arming everyone with their stuff. Monk asks everyone to stay inside their cells even after they're unlocked and hide their things under the cots as he has a simply wonderful idea. The Baron makes his third round's gloating as usual, and when he reaches the monk's cell the exchange went roughly like "Your name means Blue White in the old tongue, yes?" "Why yes it does, I'm quite proud of my family colors you see." "Delightful. *Let's see what happens when I bring out your Reds.* " He kicks the cell open, the DM has the Monk automatically succeed an Intimidation because the line went so hard. The rest of the party grabs their things and begin subduing the guards who have all been taken by surprise. Meanwhile the Monk proceeds to grab the Baron by the neck and pummel him as he flailed about like a muppet. A few hours later the Baron has "seen the light" and repented his ways, promising to aid the party however he can in their quest for goodness and righteousness and all that as long as he can get it in writing that the Monk will stay at least 30 feet away from him at all times from now on.
the villian i was trying to turn good, gets low hp and throws the party into flashbacks explaining his tragic backstory. In the second one the rogue (who first campaign it is) is the one watching. The villian is crying because he's an outcast in the town. She comes up and offers kid verison of the villian a hug and she yells in the quiet room "and i knee him in the face!" And the room loved that. My favorite line was the next thing she said, "does that count as a sneak attack." Idk i just love it so much. (I gave her the sneak attack because of rule of cool.)
My best line was from a character in 5e during a homebrew campaign. We were in the middle of dismantling a plot from a gang of black market monopolists that had been targeting some merchant families, running them out of business by intimidation or force so that supplies would run low and the cityfolk would have to buy their outrageously priced goods to live. We had to accompany an npc into one of their warehouses to mess with a ledger and sabotage some product that was stored there. Well, we failed that mission due to some bad roles and that npc got caught while making a distraction for the party. That npc was the edlest son of one of the merchant families who had been combatting the black market before we got involved, and so the party had to go back to the family home and tell them that the mission went belly-up. His mother ended up cursing us out for leaving her son behind as her other two sons grieved with her. The next day we received a note from the one who ran the black market, writing that we needed to come meet with him at a specific time or the eldest son would be killed and put on display in the center of town as a warning. The letter heavily implied that we were about to go into the heart of the black market operation, and we all expected to fight. The other two sons decided to accompany us despite their mother's pleas, ready to go to war to rescue their brother and take down the ones who had been oppressing them. Their father was killed in the same way and she was horrified that she may lose all her sons at once. The party all left the home in file as we went off to what would likely be a hard fought battle, me being the last to leave as the mother shouted at her sons to come back to her. I distanced myself from the party for a moment and turned back to the mother. I said to her, "I can't promise I'll stop them from fighting... but I'll make damn sure they won't lose." I then closed the door and rejoined the party. Before the sun set that day, the black market was dismantled in a bloodbath and the mother was able to embrace all three of her sons.
That gave me chills. If there's a second episode (which I sure hope there is, this might become as good as "funny rolled a 1/20 moments") this comment better be in it.
My group’s wizard used to play a paladin. Both characters had the best one liners, the best of which has to be the very first one he ever dropped, on a pirate he opportunity-attacked: *I didn’t give you permission to leave*
“Now we son’t have to worry about a hostage.” After killing the enemies child hostage and then later blaming the enemy. Don’t mess with Lawful Evil Barbarians or tell them the problem is a hostage being captured.
Had something similar happen, except the bad guy killed the hostage. The Ranger had been desperately trying to keep the hostage from bleeding out for the entire fight, so hadn't attacked at all. The hostage was the Ranger's mother. She looked up with tears of rage streaming from her eyes, and said in a strangely calm voice: "There is *nothing* left that can save you now." Then she unloaded every enchanted arrow in her quiver. We're talking about blowing through a FORTUNE in enchanted items. She all but ended the fight in a single round.
Mine was when my Bounty Hunter (3.5e Ranger/Scout/Dervish) who collected Drow ears as proof of her kills/bounties came across the BBEG Drow Priestess and Chosen of her Goddess. When we entered into the room, she screamed at us, "HOW DARE YOU! I AM THE CHOSEN OF KIARANSALEE!!! I AM DEATH TO THIS WORLD! I AM..." at which point I stepped forward, drew my blades, and brushed my cloak back exposing my string of trophies, and said calmly, "You... are just another ear."
Said by my sorceror to enemy warlock. "Some people are born with talent, some have to earn it. You fall under neither, so let's send you back to that patron and have them recreate you with real talent." I proceed to cast fireball, he failed his dex save and died. Not a cool one liner, but it felt cool in that moment.
I had a similar line to a Wizard when playing my current Warlock "You studied hard for your power. I cheated for it. Let's see which way was really worth it."
"Where did all this water come from" as I am walking out of a pool of acid spewed by a dragon, completely unharmed and oblivious to there even being a dragon. Also, I have had a friend who asked the bbeg "I got out of bed for this" as he oneshot the bbeg down to 1 hp.
Repeated line (mostly by me, a Wood Elf Gloomstalker/Assassin): We are prepared to accept your surrender! Said to: A fort full of orcs A coven of hags An elven fortress taken over by orcs (and included 2 riding beats that used dinosaur stat blocks) A battalion of orcs (that were invading an elven village) The main orc forces A beholder A green dragon (whom I finished off with the line "you should have taken the deal," before putting an arrow in him) And a demon lord
My proudest moment in D&D: I was playing a Goliath paladin (just imagine Broly with armor) When going through a dungeon, the DM threw in a traitor of the order in halfway down (for character plot development) While everyone prepared for battle, my paladin stepped up and stated to the party "this is not your battle." *flips visor down* "It's mine"
My Drow Sorcerer/Fighter after he and his companions doscovered the killer on a train: "Now, you are going to tell us everything we want to know, or I will give you an improvised lobotomy." He's holding a hand crossbow to the assassin's head.
My team was fighting a Mindflayer Lich. After a dangerous battle, our party was already hurting when the Lich casts Circle of Death, getting everyone in the AOE. After a successful save on my part, I'm still barley holding on. I describe how the necrotic energy seeps into my body, turning my eyes inky black as I point my finger at the Lich and say, "You're not the only one with that kind of power." Using Hellish Rebuke which finished the Lich.
My blood cleric was fighting against a lich that had begun to storm a town that he cared a lot about, just before the lich got to the town my cleric told my party to guard the town while he went out to give them another target, when he got to the lich he said “Ah, if it isn’t old bonebags, I’m going to give you two options here, you can run and remain in this world another day, or you can stay and I get to show you why you should’ve stayed dead” I ended up winning the fight this time but knew he would eventually be back, because we were both spellcasters the fight took a long time and the rest of the party had secured the town. It was also tradition that whenever my character got hurt by an opponent he would say”a pint of my blood for 12 of yours”
I was playing an aasimar who was 27 years old, and had only been adventuring for about 2. He has main character syndrome, and "thinks the world DOES revolve around him." We had to fight a juvenile ice dragon, and after insighting how old it was, I say "Man, with 50 years of experience you should have known not to fight a party with _me_ in it!" I then killed it with eldritch blast. Logically it doesn't make much sense, he was still relatively a nobody, but it felt very in-character.
Our party had been caught in this cage trap where the after some dialog from the BBEG the floor collapsed away falling into black emptiness. My Rogue named Jack was the only one who rolled high enough to save and grab onto the cage. But the Barbarian who failed and was falling into the dark unknown cried out “Come Jack, oblivion awaits!” I found this line to be so dang amazing that I said I released the bars of the cage and fell into oblivion with the team. hahaha.
"I smite the flower!", yelled excitedly as the hex warlock got his first critical strike of the campaign. It was in the Feywild, so, contextually it makes more sense, but it's just such an unexpected phrase to hear yelled in earnest.
Stephen King lore game, kinda SCP/call of cthulhu flavors. We found a Rose of the Dark Tower, "what do we do with this" "idk keep it safe I guess" our players all know the importance of this rose in this setting heavily influenced by Sai Kings Tower saga and the travels of Roland vs The Man in Black. "Let's give it to the wizard, he's familiar with arcanery" "Aight, bet, hey wiz use your powers to magically inspect this thang" Ok, and he does. "Huh, interesting. Well you hold on to the magic item then" Wizard accepts. THE FUCKING TROLL OF A WIZARD, PROMPTLY > *EATS* < THE FUCKING ROSE. Without a word. Silence. "Dude do you really do that" - GM "Yeah man, wtf, I know you OOC know the importance of this thing" -me "Yeah why not? ITLL GIVE MEH MOAR POWAH!" The wizard says greedily out of character Gm sighs. Deeply. Heavily. Frustratedly. He had written up quite of myriad of things that could or may happen to the item, through narrative or if by accident. He didn't expect anyone to fucking eat it. We didn't play for like a month while he figured out wtf to do.
To the Fae Trickster, as it lays dying at their feet: "Those who trust easily are either very naive or very powerful. Which is why you should step carefully around them, because they rarely showcase which one until the moment of trust broken"
In City of Heroes I was on Discord chat with our party. On a mission where we were basically sandwiched into the middle of a war between Fir Bolg (Pumpkin Heads with Stickman torso, arms and legs with hands like tree branches. They also throw fireballs shaped like skulls. A lot more powerful/creepy than I can make it sound here) and Tuatha De Danaan (Fuzzy Green humanoid were-elks with antlers and immensely strong) (Both groups based loosely (Very loosely) on Irish mythos apparently) and the waves of enemies kept on coming and we got whittled down until it was just me and my Dual Pistol Wielding, Energy Punching Blaster - but there was only one wave left and I managed to clear it with about 20% health left. (Most of the party had stuck around without rezzing to see how things would go before making a decision whether to use a medical teleport to the Hospital or not.) I growled out the only appropriate movie line I could think of after the last Pumpkin head and the last fuzzy green humanoid elk fell over... *"Does anybody ELSE want to NEGOTIATE???"* I got laughter and applause from the Discord. 👍😎
"You should have gone for the head." Said by my Aarakocra Artillerist after taking a crit that dropped him to 1 HP. After that line, my character managed to land a maximum damage crit on the very person that crit him. It was enough damage to kill the enemy outright.
Playing Vampire, the group had split in a mangrove and my blood wizard crossed paths with a Malkavian serial killer that thought himself to be Batman. I managed to survive by telling him I was Robin. Eventually, he started realizing I wasn’t really who I said and, after diablerizing a poor Nosferatu in front of me, I was cornered. The group had found us and were closing in without him realizing. He said: “any last words, boy wonder?”. My character smirked and responded: “just three: TEEN TITANS GO!” and my Coterie tackled him.
I think my favorite badass line would have to be when my Harengon Ranger Farren, who had just multiclassed into Warlock, went up against a DM controlled Leonin. Now, Farren had just made a pact with Beshaba, the Maiden of Misfortune roughly two or so sessions before this, so he was itching for a fight. Now, the Leonin in question was not immune to being frightened, but had advantage on saves against it, so when Farren hit him and tried to make him be fearful, two rolls above a 20 insured him that he wasn't scared, retorting with "Why do I have to fear you... when you are nothing but prey?" Farren's response? He just simply chuckled and said: "The misfortune of the predator is far more than the misfortune of prey, for the prey's death is instant... but for the predator, it is long, slow, and agonizing... as they slowly starve to death... and it is this death... THAT I WILL GIVE YOU!!" The fight after that line was nothing more than a slaughter, with Farren standing victorious over the fallen Leonin... after roughly 6 rounds of combat where he purposefully used weaker weapons after criting him in the 3rd round.
I was playing a gun slinging wizard in a dungeon crawl oneshot, we got to the boss which was an undead beholder. It was a rough fight but i got the killing blow with a fireball, and pulled that classic jaws line of "smile you son of a bitch!" Before blowing it apart with the fireball in his mouth
Not necessarily the line but how it was delivered. My players were in barovia at a temple talking to the priest who was a deva disguised as human but not really hiding what he was nor what he was doing. The human fighter of the group is antagonizing the priest by asking questions then to finish off a speech he had going, he asked the deva "when was the last time you heard the voice of your father?" Causing the deva to rage and change before them and jumping the fighter. Surprisingly the party won with no casualties.
Needs a bit of background, but if anyone has seen Babylon 5, you'll get the reference. I was playing a Paladin and messed up a stealth roll, alerting some Galeb Duhr to our location. After defeating them, the rogue angrily proclaims "You were so loud you woke up the damn stone!" To which I turn to her and simply reply "and the rocks cried out, "no hiding place."" (For background, this is a line from the gospel song a choir is singing while the show cuts between them and a pompous, sadistic, slaver getting betrayed, isolated, and chased down by some former slaves, who are simply told "leave his face to be identified, the rest of him, do what you will")
My party had narrowly escaped death while crossing a planar rift that imposed aspects of the shadowfell on the material plane, but lost their packs (including most of their rations) in the previous encounter. Our halfling fighter was also cooking proficient, and had managed to scrounge a couple meals together from group foraging, but the dragonborn paladin (completely from his own roleplay) kept wishing they would be blessed with some game soon. The next day, the party is ambushed as they are crossing a swamp by a HUGE alligator, notoriously territorial in the surrounding area. Right off the bat, the paladin draws his sword, grins, and shouts "As Bahamut is my light, you will be our DINNER tonight!" and charges in to start dumping smites into the thing. 🤣
When my players walked into the office of a specter in disguise who had taken over a city, and then confronted him, it went like this. Specter: "This must be a mistake" Wizard: "Mistake this" *crits with fire bolt*
Probably the best for me was when the party's base of operations, a druid grove, was being attacked by mech-soldiers flying in on attack choppers (the world was a magic-rich one having recently merged with a WWII-era, low-magic one). My character, a Reborn Vengeance Paladin/Shadow Sorcerer who in his old life had been the champion of the god of death, was meditating in the grove's graveyard when the choppers swept overhead. He stood, reached out to his god, and said, "Dreaded Father, I commend these sorry souls to your keeping" as a cold mist began to fill the graveyard. The second best, though it doesn't have a one-liner associated with it, was in the same game. My character doesn't generally believe in hiding; he gives enemies full warning of what's about to happen, and if they still choose to attack them, it's their funeral. He chose to wait for a harassing enemy force outside the fort's gate, sitting on his paladin steed. As soon as the enemy soldiers closed with him, he cast Darkness on himself that only he could see through. All the enemy attacks missed, and he casually leaned down and picked up the enemy sergeant by the throat, then dropped Darkness and ordered the enemy soldiers to drop their weapons. They did.
My first thought is from Jaiden Animations, the big bad was Alphrad’s character’s manager and when they defeated the BB Alpharad’s character days ‘You’re fired’ and I just think that’s cool.
I'd moved out of my home town to a city four hours away, but would still come and visit every month or so and when that day ended up on a D&D night for the game my friends were players in I would end up picking up whatever NPC the DM had ready. At one point I was playing a necromancer who ended up traveling with the party for a while and on route from one city to another we came across a village that had recently been attacked and they had lost their priest and so had no one to perform their rites for all the dead that had stacked up. The necromancer had Charisma as a dump stat and had insanely high knowledge skills surrounding religion, arcana, history, etc. To me this suggested a single-minded focus that put him solidly on the spectrum. When the party offered to help with patching up defenses and treating the injured, I had the necromancer offer to perform the appropriate last rites for them. Mayor to Necromancer: "...And thank you for caring for my peop-..." Necromancer, cutting him off: "For your *dead* ." DM is stunlocked and players crack up.
The best line I can think of is probably from one of my DnD 5e games set in the Ghost of Saltmarch adventure. My players decided they wanted to be pirates and one of the characters - lovingly referred to as The Captain - managed to weasel hismself into Umberlee's good books. Thoughout the campaign, it was often remarked how he was loved by the sea and by the end of it, Umberlee gave him a magical Trident, that could control the waves. In the final fight against one of the Sea Princes and their entire warband, The Captain used that Trident to sink 5 warships in a single turn during a heavy storm. To try to intimidate the rest of the warband he started at the drowning Sea Prince and said one single sentence: "Among all those at sea, there is only I, and those drowning beneath me."
It wasn't in D&D, but in a game called Godbound, where all of the characters are vying to become gods. My character was formerly a farmer who found that he had gained power over the earth and the plants, on top of being nearly unkillable (literally, he had a trait that he could only be outright killed by divine powers) The first fight the party got into was rescuing a village from some marauders. Some of them attempted to attack my character, which failed because he had an insane unarmored defense. In response, my god-to-be bellowed "You dare to challenge a deity of the earth while standing upon his turf!?" before unleashing a wave of stone shards that shredded the enemies who attacked him.
Mine was when a bbeg said “your path ends here” after getting me on low health before I yelled out “I PAVE MY OWN PATH!” before proceeding to crit him and then use action surge and somehow crit him a again killing him in one turn after some high damage rolls
With great difficulty, we captured the BBEG and had him restrained because several party members were opposed to killing him. Our artificer/rogue approached him, saying, "You captured a god and disrupted the natural order of your world to glorify your god. In thousands of years, you are the only person to figure out how to achieve such a feat. The god has been freed, order restored, and all your works undone. No one is likely to repeat your accomplishment. If you die, the world shall be safe again." - and he slashed open the throat of the hapless BBEG.
We had found a cursed black sword that just radiated evil. Our innocent naive cleric was very concerned about the fighter, who was a very pragmatic fellow. Cleric: "Don't touch that weapon. It will consume your soul!" Fighter: "Then it will feast at an empty temple."
Face to face with a great and terrifying unbeatable red dragon, already wounded, coughing blood and standing on my last legs, took out my pipe, gave my toothiest, blood spattered grin and said to the beast, “got a light?”
Ship to ship battle enemy cannons were about to fire next turn. Party wizard casts fireball through the gun ports. DM says "roll for damage on the pirates". Wizard said in the calmest of tones " I was aiming for the powder kegs." The party was deafened for 2 ingame days but instant won the battle.
Our DM had us fight the literal Grim Reaper. As he appears the DM tried to use a "spooky scary voice" while yelling "I. Am. Death!"
Our Cleric says, "oh." Then begins using sign language. (Which the player knew in real life) The DM paused for a minute before realizing what the cleric was doing. "I said DEATH you asshole!"
Oh my god, that had me cackling like a demented hyena. I am SO glad I was home alone at the time. And not trying to take a sip of anything!
Wait what did the cleric say to make the DM reply like that?
@@ivebenwatchingthe joke was that the cleric thought the reaper had said "deaf" not "death"
@@dinkeycat OOHH That's really funny
@@ivebenwatching He didn't "say" anything, but he was using sign language as if the Grim Reaper had said "I am deaf." due to the DM trying to use a spooky voice.
Villain: "This is all your fault, you know?"
Fighter/Rogue: "Well, your list of problems that are my fault is only gonna get longer."
"My FAULT? Well, I'd say, that it's all THANKS to me!"
"I am now making it my personal business to meddle in your affairs. Constant setbacks? Me. Vandalized lairs? Me. Run out of toilet paper? Me. I swear to whatever god you believe in that whenever some misfortune befalls you, you will have to contemplate whether it is simple bad luck or my psychotic machinations!"
@@FizzieWebb *insert a r/foundsatan joke*
@@childofthecity6181 *Proceeds to use Blind Obsession*
@@FizzieWebb This is some Reverse Flash levels of hatred.
The enemy "Killing me won't matter. I am but one of a thousand heads!"
PC "This is just the first of a thousand strikes."
"gotta start somewhere"
That's some Colonel Philips energy, from Captain America: The First Avenger.
"Cut off one head, 2 more shall take it-" *Dies from shotgun* "Let's go find 2 more!"
Lore accurate fighter
BBEG, at 1 HP, holding me by the throat: “Where is your faith now, mortal?”
Me, a paladin also with 1 HP: “About three feet above you.”
*SUMMON CELESTIAL*
Duuuuuuude that's cooooolllldd. I love it.
Ok. That's badass as fuck.
You Summoned A Hammer Of Dawn On The Guy?
Bbeg: shits bricks
Okay, now that is epic. :3
My best was probably when my sorcerer, who explodes when dropped to 0hp, killed a recurring antagonist with said skill.
Antagonist, stabbing said sorcerer in the heart: "You're all Pawns in a game you can't even begin to comprehend."
Sorcerer, grabbing his sword arm and pulling him close as the blast goes off:
"Pawn takes King. Checkmate you bastard."
Cue the death burst taking out a suddenly terrified evil doer. Said sorcerer went on to fight another day thanks to some prompt healing. But yeah, that moment still lives in my head rent free.
Oh, that is a damn fine line. Props dude.
Damn that's really sick lol
Metal
You may have not known the rules, but you still won.
that is fire,literally
"So you enter the room and see-"
*"I CHAAAAAARGE!!!!!!!!"*
_"...A pit."_
-Saor, the Palalol.
nice epitaphy
"let me finish!"
even if there was no pit there, as a dm, i would have just changed the map just because they did that
“LEROY JENKINS”
"VOX MACHINA... BREAK SHIT UP!!!"
Had a player that was a stage magician fighting an actual wizard. He beats the wizard with cunning and trickery and then finishes him off with the line “the best tricks are real.” Then shoots the evil wizard dead with a gun.
he has magic alright, the only spell he used was Cast Bullet.
I may be out of spells, but I'm not out of shells!
"Oh yeah. One more thing - I'm glad you changed your last name, you sonuvab***h."
Reminds me of the HP lovecraft story where a guys family was cursed for the men to die before like 30 or something by a wizard, but then they find out the guy is just breaking in and shooting them
That's just Wizard by Ralph Bakshi.
**this is barely an hyperbole**
My Fighter negotiating with a Mafia Boss: "We can either do something for you, or do something to you. Up to you to decide."
Hah, that's a flavorful retort for the scene
Me: Can I decide what you do to me? 😏
@@reubenoakley5887 Lul XD Take my upvote XD
To be clear, that WAS the Mafa Boss's line, right?
....right?
......RIGHT?!
@@TheRealCeeJai nope XD
My Barbarian Monk was woken up from a rest by a Bandit attack and took the Bandit Leader and told him "You have disturbed my inner Zen. I shall restore it by putting you through that wall."
Okay that is fricken METAL!!! Nice line dude!
I am gonna steal that lol
@@EcthelionOTF the DM was so impressed that he let me roll advantage and I actually ended up rolling 2 nat 20's in a row
"I've ruined my life, you think I'll spare yours?" - fighter/rogue who was like an alcoholic detective
Bad-ayuss!
I think mine is probably still this. We're in a Yuan-Ti temple to rescue a dwarf. I missed a month due to an illness, before the game session starts the DM hands me a note that one of my bard's past lovers was in the temple. We're preparing to rescue the dwarf who is about to be sacrificed and the DM sends me another note to tell me the priestess is the past lover. The party is ready to fight and my bard just walks into the room and says "Hi Honey, I'm home."
Comedy gold my dude
Making a guess here, was the dm running The Rise of Tiamat adventure module?
@@ShrimpEmporium Tyranny of Dragons
@@samzilla1281 knew it. Actually really enjoyed running that dungeon.
"Oh, don't bother praying to your god. They're next."
I almost flat out laughed I was so impressed by that line.
dude, that aint a killer line, that's a straight up mass murderer line!
*Ludinos in the near future*
@@damionbiddy673 who?
@@stormy_does_stuff Bbeg of Critical Roles current arc
BBEG "you think yourself worthy enough to know my name as if you have bested me?!"
Monk: "no, I won't need to be better than you to leave you in an unmarked grave."
The coldness in this one is insane
My paladin using a homebrew spell - "I'm not as forgiving as my God. So I will send you to him to beg for it. This will be your DIVINE DEPARTURE!"
YO, SAMURAI!
Not too bad I guess. But I've seen it in books that date back to the 1700s, so not all that badass in my opinion.
No offense. You did it well.
@@azrelldrekmorr9344 I smell a beast!
I love this. This is comforting. I imagine some men defending their families have thought something like this, while others simply thought that He'd agree. After all, YHVH-GOD is Father. He knows perfectly that feel of defending your loved ones. Yet, He is still WAY more forgiving - to the sin-cere.
@@nobodyshome6792weird
My favorite was when an NPC was refusing to share important information and a PC said: "There is a saying that there are more than one way to skin a cat, and the same wisdom applies to people as well. I, personally, have found 22 ways to skin a human, which is a bit unfortunate as my favorite number is 23. So, if you continue to be difficult and continue to stand in our way, then it will make me very happy..."
(said all this while sharpening a knife)
"Next one is coming faster" line is from Justified, such a badass line
That was so funny and so cold at the same time. One of the few shows I miss.
Everybody looked down on my fighter because she was a farm girl to start with. And she knew it. "Y'all look down on me 'cause I'm a farmer. But I'll be the one lookin' down on y'all once I break yer kneecaps."
Nice, definitely going to be using that one
I was almost expecting her to say she'll look down on them soon as she's done turning them into fertilizer or something
Bonus points if she was also a halfling.
How many times did you take away someone's kneecap privileges?
Your group has never read Paksenarrion, I take it. Farm girl who became a pretty good soldier, and later a paladin...
Less the line itself, more how it was delivered.
"Step away from the cleric." Said by the party's barbarian after tackling a fourteen foot tall ogre through a solid stone wall, killing said ogre. These kinds of entrances made it a joke in the group that the barbarian was the party's Hulk or Broly.
common broly W
Said Joker Persona 5
More like kool-aid man lol
While DM'ing, I had my BBEG take out a town that the party saved previously. He brought up how his cult wanted souls to complete a ritual, and the party cleric immediately laid into him about the preservation of life and ended it with, "What even are they to you?!"
My BBEG paused, and simply said, "They're in the way."
My players told me that they had chills go down their spine from that- one of the best compliments I've ever gotten.
Great stuff
My character was on the ropes by a side villain, and we were both at low HP. He pins me to the wall by my neck and asks me, “I have ended many bloodlines before, but none as pathetic as yours. What do you think of this?”
As I roll a nat 20 with disadvantage on impaling him with my shotgun-glaive, I say to him “Killing broods of flies doesn’t count,” before I shot him into the far wall.
As he’s teleporting away and doing the whole “I will return, and I will have my vengeance!” sctick, I look him dead in the eyes and say, “If you run, you’ll only die tired.”
That’s good
Ooooh, that's stone cold right there
it’s always the side villains that have the coolest moments
Villain, fleeing: "You've just made an enemy for life, do you hear me? For LIFE!"
Ranger, drawing her bow, speaking casually: "Well, that won't be long."
Nat 20; villain dies.
Stone cold!
“I don’t care what happens if we lose. We know what will happen if we lose. What happens if we win?”
Nothing in any of the games I've played havr beat Brennan's, "If you dont conceed, what do you want me tell your family?"
After surviving about 4 nukes to the face by gods beyond compression because of a few good con saves one guy says " what's with the flashlights I thought you were gods" and then promptly stabbed them to death with a stick he found
Comprehension*
Lol things like this don't fly with us without some arcane or tech aid
Was it a pencil, Mr. Wick?
Quoted by the wizard who is trying to make up for their past sins, he adopted a child and tried to train as an apprentice, and said apprentice contracted a berserker virus and went on a murderous rampage with magic later in the campaign. He then states: “Unlike me, my child, thou shall be in heaven.” And he then casted Power Word: Kill
is the wizard okay?
......jesus......
that wizard needs a hug
My Goliath Barbarian ripping a locked door off the hinges and yelling "knock knock" was pretty good, but, the Warlock in our party casting Sleep on an enemy flying a lethal distance above the ground and saying "Sweet dreams" as she plummeted to her death takes the cake.
God, I had a Goliath barbarian that constantly broke doors, not intentionally, he just did not realize pull doors were a thing. First boss fight we almost died because we were under level as I just kept breaking doors and accidentally took the direct path to the boss
This was a line I used in Old Gods of Appalachia (from Cypher System)
Basically my character is a bee farmer, mostly selling honey, and is some cases mead due to the 18th ammendment. They normally sell for $25 per gallon, and I was selling 2 gallons to one location. However they only gave me $30, I inquired about the incorrect amount, but the girl replied, "You can take that up with my father.", and her face when I replied, "Very well.", and left her.
I then find the owner, put my hands on the table saying, "For some reason, the girl downstairs says my mead is only worth ⅗ths the value of other alcohol, but I'm sure we can find the rest, right?" The guy laughed asking, "We? You and what army?" I then spend an intellect point as a swarm of yellow jackets emerge from my pack and begin to hover over us as I add, "Should I also ask Smith & Wesson to help?"
So he slid me a 20, the yellow jackets returned to my bag, and I left. Normally my character has an Inability in Social Interactions due to being an Outcast, but I didn't even need to roll for that conversation due to being Masters the Swarm foci.
TLDR: He is the Thorax, he speaks for the Bees.
'MERICA!!
I have learned the terrifying truth that wasps and their ilk can bond with humans and I'm gonna tell you right now if *anyone* had a *swarm of attack hornets in a backpack* FOR ANY REASON I think I would die screaming right then and there before any of them even stung.
Very few people bring up Cypher... memories!
ruclips.net/video/PYtXuBN1Hvc/видео.html
"You call me Conductor, so witness my symphony" would have me in tears of fear.
"Before you kill me we are going to be fighting up to our knees in your blood." Said by my character "Slayer" Gavin Blacklore to 50 Ice Devils.
Damn
That is pretty solid, Corwin of Amber.
Did , the slayer won the battle ??
@@HamzaAli-lk5ul They let him go, they told him "you may go now but we know in the future you will die in the Prime Material and be reborn here! Ten years, twenty, thirty year? Time is nothing HUMAN to us but you WILL be back sooner than you think, hahahahahaha!"
BBEG: You talk a big game, but without your weapons and armor, all you got is words and a charming smile.
My dhampir paladin, about to channel a smite through her fangs: You’re half right.
would you call that a... BITE?
@@zeehero7280 I'd say it was a SBITE...
Just don't make her Fangry or you'll regret it...
😄😁😆😅😂🤣
DIVINE BITE
You can't write "smite" without a "smile"
Well, two-thirds, anyway...it wasn't a *charming* smile.. :-)
My character was the one who said the line.
Theodore Stormstrike (Level 6 Tempest Cleric who is a Chaotic Good Gnome) was known to be a very goofy and not-at-all serious character. He had never even been in a real fight before this. However, when our party was traveling by boat across the ocean, a Frost Giant attacked us.
I roll a 1 on initiative, but my bonuses allow me to move before the giant. The other party members were focusing on whittling down the giant, but it was looking like we couldn’t finish it quick enough, and it was threatening to TPK us. (The DM said this after the battle ended.)
Finally, it’s Theodore’s turn. Faced against the odds and staring in the face of death… the goofball’s squeaky, high-pitched voice suddenly grew deep and serious.
He Command worded the Frost Giant to YEILD.
It ended up working, and the Giant fell to its knees, allowing the team to decapitate it, before it could even attack us.
I have since made it a tradition for Theodore to use a serious voice whenever using Command.
When the Party Comedy Relief turns out to be an Elder God slumming it...or much like Saitama, they play comedy relief because they know what happens when they actually get serious...
A woman that a halfling paladin named Osgin Reedhill loved turned out to be a parasitic monster. In tears, the woman now a monster asked if the player could still love her even in her true form. The player shocked everyone at the table by taking her clawed hand and saying, "Of course. Nothing has changed between us." That player had been incredibly hostile to monsters, and seeing him put all that aside instantly was unexpected. He ended up marrying and learning to coexist with his bride, even accepting the loss of his holy powers due to conflicts with his God. The most intense change to the Warlock class I've yet seen.
What kind of monster if you remember and see this?
Also, that would definitely be one of the most moving moments you could ever witness. The power of LOVE strikes again!
@@runicebony1495 A were leech. Think of a humanoid upper half with smooth, pale skin and a worm-like lower half. That they even kept any proportions of being a human is a miracle of control and she was not alone in being like this.
She was born from an unnatural union of essences by a magical practitioner that we eventually got to meet. The wizard, as we had no better way to describe them, was trying to hybridize creatures to make superior ones, forcing the hand of evolution forward against its will.
When he learned that not only did some of his experiments survive but had prospered, it finally put a stop to his work. He had succeeded and the creatures he unleashed would propagate and advance his dream. Then he died, the last desire of his life finally sated and giving him reason to rest.
The former Paladin actually kept the wizard's work to help him understand what his wife and others like her are. He now travels the land with her, trying to help those experiments who have not prospered yet and are facing persecution or hardship.
@@pcalix17 That… is easily one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. I’d read a whole novel series on this topic alone!
@@runicebony1495 That was not my story either. I workshopped it with friends until it was so insane that it became worth telling.
@@pcalix17
So that Wizard was making some sort of simmic hybrid shifters?
I was playing a Barbarian who took two very high damaging attacks (one of which I believe was a crit) and tanked them well.
His turn comes up and he begins acting hurt and panting.
“That… that hurt…” He says between pants before gripping his Greataxe, taking a run at the monster that had just hurt him, and suddenly dropping the feinting of injury, to finish his sentence, screaming, “MY FEELINGS!”
Note this was a line I had come up with nearly 20 years ago that has worked its way into many stories I’ve written into fight dialogue for many attempted novels.
Quote Acquisition Notice: look at the time, your quote is now mine. *yoink*
I've pulled the "I can keep doing this all day!" Cap Quote out a time or two. Usually when I'm taken down to only a few hit points from full in one turn.
My character had a bit of a catchphrase, that being "Just doing what I have to". I'm not sure why, but the feeling of having him say that with a completely straight face to an elder god congratulating him on completing his grand quest and Saving The Freakin' Universe™ was just unparalleled
humongous cloud strife energy
My best was playing my Zealot Barbarian named Strath
TLDR: He yelled, "You're fighting ME know!" against a seemingly unwinable boss, drawing its attention to him allowing him to tank damage for his party (enough to kill most of the them), dying in the process but buying them enough time to win
A little thing about our DM, he creates very detailed and in depth worlds. This partially leads into scenarios, like in an open world RPG, where you will run into baddies/events that your party aren't ready for. Our DM does however, gives subtitle hints when we're about to take on something we're not ready for
The group of players we play with are rather smart and in worlds like this one, it's not uncommon for us to run into very difficult scenarios that we shouldn't have been able to get to but unknowingly find loopholes to do so. Our DM doesn't play games, if we find a loophole, he rolls with it
One such time, we were in a shadow/inverted plane from our own. We wanted to go into a temple in this inverted/shadow reality but found that the doors were locked and nothing we did was allowing us access into the temple. Turns out later that we were supposed to do a whole long questline to eventually get access into the temple. Queue our party finding a loophole that our DM didn't think about. We used gaseous form to slip between the cracks of the door and get into the temple. Our DM, since he didn't have a contingency in place for such a tactic, allowed us to slip into the temple
Queue him giving us multiple hints that this wasn't a good thing. It was pitch black in there, we felt a general sense of unease, our primal part of our brains were telling us to run, ect
Thing is, my Zealot Barbarian was lead to believe there was important details regarding his backstory within this temple. That he needed to embrace the darkness bravely to seek the answers he needed. So he encouraged the party to press onwards into the darkness of the temple
Then a giant golden specter, reaper like angel appeared in front of the party and initiative started. This thing was about four times taller than Strath was and Strath was a Goliath. It was immediately clear that this thing was out of our capabilities to win against. We play homebrew and this thing was quickly tearing through our party. No one was down right away but it was VERY clear that we were in trouble and had to flee or die. Issue was that this thing was really fast and could lock people down in place
My barbarian, realizing that he just likely lead his party into death, roared at this entity, "You're fighting ME now!" his first turn (wasn't high in initiative) and squared off against it
Little did we know until after the fight, this entity was once a samurai master. It saw Strath's words as a challenge to a duel in which it honored and focused on Strath alone (while the party also fought it). Strath tanked hundreds of HP worth of damage, easily enough to wipe most of the party. He came back from unconsciousness multiple times in the fight but eventually was killed outright. The same turn he was killed our other frontline fighter was knocked unconscious in the same round (lots of attacks from the enemy). Luckily the party finished the boss shortly after and won
Strath's challenging words of, "You're fighting ME now!" allowed the party to prevail against a boss they were outmatched for and his sacrifice saved them from his mistake of leading them into that fight. Our DM had thought it was going to be a TPK or multiple of us were going to be left behind as the others fled
Luckily being a Zealot barbarian we were able to revive him soon after that fight. Was a badass fight that I have artwork for of Strath after his sacrifice. The most badass thing I've had happen with one of my characters playing DnD so far
I played a Zealot, good ole Ulthok, a bronze dragonborn with a particular hatred of chromatic dragons. The penultimate battle of the campaign, we have to deal with an ancient green dragon, a high level wizard (who dropped a meteor storm on us at one point), and a gaggle of powerful minions (we're lvl 14). Ulthok walks out in front of the whole group, intentionally blowing any chance of an ambush, but that's fine.
"Hear me wyrm! I am Ulthok Urozhar, last of the Tribe of Ulthrakar, Champion of the Platinum Dragon, and I am your doom. I deny you a name, because you are weak and unworthy of it. I will claim your life, your lair, and your hoard. I will use your scales as leather and grind your bones to dust. I will destroy all that you are. I will ensure that none remember your name. And you will do nothing to stop me, because you can do nothing to stop me."
Other than some AOE spillover, I was the only one to engage the dragon or be engaged by it. Dropped a total of 540 damage on it while everyone else dealt with the wizard and minions. It focused only on me. And I dropped dead immediately after it did. DM and I decided that my soul was not available for resurrection, as Bahamut had finally granted me peace.
That certainly sounds worthy of living in one's head rent free.
I've said a few lines I'm proud of. There was some sort of hag that showed us our greatest fears. I passed all my checks and broke out of the illusion on the first turn. That's when I said, "Right now, my greatest fear is not being able to stop you." There was also a cult leader that mostly spoke in Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics (it was a filler arc since half the party couldn't make it). After tanking a bunch of his attacks (about 22 damage per hit), my turn came up and I said, "Your heart may be ringin' now, but in a second, it's gonna be your head."
I'll never forget hearing my mate (playing an undead Gnoll) who crit on her intimidation looming behind my pc, looking at the bandit we failed to sneak past and saying "I'm going to eat your eyes now" in a broken raspy hyena laugh. Ngl my head whipped around so fast I thought it was going to break.
I played as a Twilight Domain Cleric who was always so soft spoken and hesitant at times. But whenever combat came around, he would become usually serious. The party didn't know the reason why until some mercenaries showed up who knew my character. They were after him, after all.
The party managed to capture the one in charge and tie him up. While questioning him, the mercenary starts to taunt my cleric about his abusive home life and poked the bear.
The moment that followed is easily my best to date.
My cleric simply reached out and grabbed him by the jaw mid sentence, and said this.
"You still talk too much."
Before casting a third level Inflict Wounds and rolling almost max damage. My cleric RIPPED HIS JAW OFF and walked away as the man died horribly and painfully.
To paraphrase Mortal Combat...
Jawless Finish!
😄😁😆😅😂🤣
My jaw dropped.
@@airconditionedBreeze So did the Mercenaries...
Or it did when the Cleric finally opened his hand...
😄😁😆😅😂🤣
That's good storytelling _and_ good acting! Or, maybe more like improving, I dunno. Either way, well done on that
PF2E, high level monk is dueling against a cleric. Cleric has blinded him and deafened him, but he doesn't give up. High enough level that he can roll acrobatics to land on the wind during a jump, he does so and tears off a piece of his own robe to tie a blindfold around his newly ruined eyes, using the motion to disguise triggering a detect life item. The cleric moves into range quietly, taking a chance to heal themselves, but the monk nat 20s on perception to find the cleric with the magic sense. Blindfolded, the monks face turns to follow the cleric and he whispers "I see you."
I would've had him say "just kidding"
Oh GOD that's terrifying
My Mad Scientist PC: "so how do you control them? voice? pheromones?"
Bee Orientor Boss: "WITH MY MIND!"
Mad Scientist PC: *readies cloud of daggers* "Good, then I only need your head."
I had a ranger who got their arm cut off mid battle and instead of abandoning the thought of using a bow he lied down & used his legs to sort of hold the bow pulling it back with his arm (essentially loading himself like a ballista) & clocked bbg in between the eyes saying “you should’ve gone for the head” & snapping his fingers together
This person clearly loved their Marvel references
I usually never have a story to post. But, today i have one. In the only game of D&D i have been fortunate enough to play i played a human fighter (bland i know) and we had stumbled upon an orc warband. My two man party was mercifully just brought to the war chief where i challenged him to one on one combat for our freedom. He laughed and leaned closer to me saying "you see these scars? They show i have conquered many foes." I responded "my lack of scars just shows i did it better" we fight where i proceed to roll flawlessly and obliterate him without him landing a hit.
Bro backed up his words
More darkly comedic then badass,
Villian: what is on your face
Wizard muffled: it'sagasmask
Villian: and why do you have it
Wizard muffled: oh,becauseofthegas
Villian: what gas
Wizard: ... thisgas *que cloudkill and force cage*
Isnt that the Master's line from Doctor Who?
@@AlexeyBeganovyes, it is.
BBEG, casting a fear spell on the fighter: “Cower before me, mortal!”
Fighter, rolling a nat 20: “I don’t fear dead men.”
The greatest one liner I ever witnessed involved a gentlemanly boxing monk (Think Dudley from Street Fighter) and a foppish evil baron named Lord Bleublanc who was one of the BBEG's lieutenants. The Baron had lured the party to a feast, captured them, and kept them in individual cells in the same room so he could periodically come and gloat. After the second time he makes his rounds the Rogue manages to pick the lock to his cell and escape while also arming everyone with their stuff. Monk asks everyone to stay inside their cells even after they're unlocked and hide their things under the cots as he has a simply wonderful idea.
The Baron makes his third round's gloating as usual, and when he reaches the monk's cell the exchange went roughly like
"Your name means Blue White in the old tongue, yes?"
"Why yes it does, I'm quite proud of my family colors you see."
"Delightful. *Let's see what happens when I bring out your Reds.* "
He kicks the cell open, the DM has the Monk automatically succeed an Intimidation because the line went so hard. The rest of the party grabs their things and begin subduing the guards who have all been taken by surprise. Meanwhile the Monk proceeds to grab the Baron by the neck and pummel him as he flailed about like a muppet.
A few hours later the Baron has "seen the light" and repented his ways, promising to aid the party however he can in their quest for goodness and righteousness and all that as long as he can get it in writing that the Monk will stay at least 30 feet away from him at all times from now on.
The monk made him Rouge, Blanc and Bleu.
Warforged barbarian: “only one of us needs to breathe *proceeds to pull bbeg underwater*
"That's why they call me the lady killer."
Monk from my current campaign before one shotting two female enemies in one turn.
My Torg character, a Pyrokinetic with an improvised flamethrower: "How do you like your ribs?"
“Next one’s comin faster” oh that gunslinger player was totally a Justified fan 😂
the villian i was trying to turn good, gets low hp and throws the party into flashbacks explaining his tragic backstory. In the second one the rogue (who first campaign it is) is the one watching. The villian is crying because he's an outcast in the town. She comes up and offers kid verison of the villian a hug and she yells in the quiet room "and i knee him in the face!" And the room loved that. My favorite line was the next thing she said, "does that count as a sneak attack." Idk i just love it so much. (I gave her the sneak attack because of rule of cool.)
Ancient White Dragon: I will rend your flesh from your bones!
Necromancer (pc): And I your soul from its cage.
My best line was from a character in 5e during a homebrew campaign. We were in the middle of dismantling a plot from a gang of black market monopolists that had been targeting some merchant families, running them out of business by intimidation or force so that supplies would run low and the cityfolk would have to buy their outrageously priced goods to live. We had to accompany an npc into one of their warehouses to mess with a ledger and sabotage some product that was stored there. Well, we failed that mission due to some bad roles and that npc got caught while making a distraction for the party. That npc was the edlest son of one of the merchant families who had been combatting the black market before we got involved, and so the party had to go back to the family home and tell them that the mission went belly-up. His mother ended up cursing us out for leaving her son behind as her other two sons grieved with her. The next day we received a note from the one who ran the black market, writing that we needed to come meet with him at a specific time or the eldest son would be killed and put on display in the center of town as a warning. The letter heavily implied that we were about to go into the heart of the black market operation, and we all expected to fight. The other two sons decided to accompany us despite their mother's pleas, ready to go to war to rescue their brother and take down the ones who had been oppressing them. Their father was killed in the same way and she was horrified that she may lose all her sons at once. The party all left the home in file as we went off to what would likely be a hard fought battle, me being the last to leave as the mother shouted at her sons to come back to her. I distanced myself from the party for a moment and turned back to the mother. I said to her, "I can't promise I'll stop them from fighting... but I'll make damn sure they won't lose." I then closed the door and rejoined the party. Before the sun set that day, the black market was dismantled in a bloodbath and the mother was able to embrace all three of her sons.
That gave me chills. If there's a second episode (which I sure hope there is, this might become as good as "funny rolled a 1/20 moments") this comment better be in it.
I always like the simple but effective “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth” bit.
My group’s wizard used to play a paladin. Both characters had the best one liners, the best of which has to be the very first one he ever dropped, on a pirate he opportunity-attacked:
*I didn’t give you permission to leave*
“Now we son’t have to worry about a hostage.” After killing the enemies child hostage and then later blaming the enemy. Don’t mess with Lawful Evil Barbarians or tell them the problem is a hostage being captured.
Had something similar happen, except the bad guy killed the hostage. The Ranger had been desperately trying to keep the hostage from bleeding out for the entire fight, so hadn't attacked at all.
The hostage was the Ranger's mother.
She looked up with tears of rage streaming from her eyes, and said in a strangely calm voice: "There is *nothing* left that can save you now."
Then she unloaded every enchanted arrow in her quiver. We're talking about blowing through a FORTUNE in enchanted items. She all but ended the fight in a single round.
Mine was when my Bounty Hunter (3.5e Ranger/Scout/Dervish) who collected Drow ears as proof of her kills/bounties came across the BBEG Drow Priestess and Chosen of her Goddess. When we entered into the room, she screamed at us, "HOW DARE YOU! I AM THE CHOSEN OF KIARANSALEE!!! I AM DEATH TO THIS WORLD! I AM..." at which point I stepped forward, drew my blades, and brushed my cloak back exposing my string of trophies, and said calmly, "You... are just another ear."
"Do I look like I'm joking?" - Our rogue, forgetting he had shape-shifted to look like Rambo.
3:15 "During an accidental jaunt into the feywild ..."
I almost doubled over laughing at that one!
Said by my sorceror to enemy warlock.
"Some people are born with talent, some have to earn it. You fall under neither, so let's send you back to that patron and have them recreate you with real talent."
I proceed to cast fireball, he failed his dex save and died.
Not a cool one liner, but it felt cool in that moment.
Vicious Mockery
I had a similar line to a Wizard when playing my current Warlock "You studied hard for your power. I cheated for it. Let's see which way was really worth it."
...no, that's cool. That's definitely cool.
"Where did all this water come from" as I am walking out of a pool of acid spewed by a dragon, completely unharmed and oblivious to there even being a dragon. Also, I have had a friend who asked the bbeg "I got out of bed for this" as he oneshot the bbeg down to 1 hp.
Repeated line (mostly by me, a Wood Elf Gloomstalker/Assassin): We are prepared to accept your surrender!
Said to:
A fort full of orcs
A coven of hags
An elven fortress taken over by orcs (and included 2 riding beats that used dinosaur stat blocks)
A battalion of orcs (that were invading an elven village)
The main orc forces
A beholder
A green dragon (whom I finished off with the line "you should have taken the deal," before putting an arrow in him)
And a demon lord
My proudest moment in D&D:
I was playing a Goliath paladin (just imagine Broly with armor)
When going through a dungeon, the DM threw in a traitor of the order in halfway down (for character plot development)
While everyone prepared for battle, my paladin stepped up and stated to the party "this is not your battle." *flips visor down* "It's mine"
“Gods have mercy upon your soul, on your body I will show none.” Spoken by a battle priest of the Red Knight of the Lance Board.
My Drow Sorcerer/Fighter after he and his companions doscovered the killer on a train: "Now, you are going to tell us everything we want to know, or I will give you an improvised lobotomy."
He's holding a hand crossbow to the assassin's head.
My team was fighting a Mindflayer Lich. After a dangerous battle, our party was already hurting when the Lich casts Circle of Death, getting everyone in the AOE.
After a successful save on my part, I'm still barley holding on. I describe how the necrotic energy seeps into my body, turning my eyes inky black as I point my finger at the Lich and say, "You're not the only one with that kind of power." Using Hellish Rebuke which finished the Lich.
“For STRONGJAWWWWWW”
"...Nine."
VOX MACHINA FUCK SHIT UP!
-Grog Strongjaw
So happy I've met him 2x.
As a rouge i backstabbed a boss in the middle of a monologue “you talk to much” was the best thing that came to mind
My blood cleric was fighting against a lich that had begun to storm a town that he cared a lot about, just before the lich got to the town my cleric told my party to guard the town while he went out to give them another target, when he got to the lich he said “Ah, if it isn’t old bonebags, I’m going to give you two options here, you can run and remain in this world another day, or you can stay and I get to show you why you should’ve stayed dead” I ended up winning the fight this time but knew he would eventually be back, because we were both spellcasters the fight took a long time and the rest of the party had secured the town. It was also tradition that whenever my character got hurt by an opponent he would say”a pint of my blood for 12 of yours”
I was playing an aasimar who was 27 years old, and had only been adventuring for about 2. He has main character syndrome, and "thinks the world DOES revolve around him."
We had to fight a juvenile ice dragon, and after insighting how old it was, I say "Man, with 50 years of experience you should have known not to fight a party with _me_ in it!"
I then killed it with eldritch blast.
Logically it doesn't make much sense, he was still relatively a nobody, but it felt very in-character.
Our party had been caught in this cage trap where the after some dialog from the BBEG the floor collapsed away falling into black emptiness. My Rogue named Jack was the only one who rolled high enough to save and grab onto the cage. But the Barbarian who failed and was falling into the dark unknown cried out “Come Jack, oblivion awaits!” I found this line to be so dang amazing that I said I released the bars of the cage and fell into oblivion with the team. hahaha.
Villain: [about to launch something extremely terrible] "do you fear it now?"
The hero: "am I supposed to."
"We took his left arm, then we took the right, we have the deviation, *now we take his head"*
"I smite the flower!", yelled excitedly as the hex warlock got his first critical strike of the campaign. It was in the Feywild, so, contextually it makes more sense, but it's just such an unexpected phrase to hear yelled in earnest.
Stephen King lore game, kinda SCP/call of cthulhu flavors. We found a Rose of the Dark Tower, "what do we do with this" "idk keep it safe I guess"
our players all know the importance of this rose in this setting heavily influenced by Sai Kings Tower saga and the travels of Roland vs The Man in Black.
"Let's give it to the wizard, he's familiar with arcanery"
"Aight, bet, hey wiz use your powers to magically inspect this thang"
Ok, and he does.
"Huh, interesting. Well you hold on to the magic item then"
Wizard accepts.
THE FUCKING TROLL OF A WIZARD, PROMPTLY > *EATS* < THE FUCKING ROSE. Without a word.
Silence.
"Dude do you really do that" - GM
"Yeah man, wtf, I know you OOC know the importance of this thing" -me
"Yeah why not? ITLL GIVE MEH MOAR POWAH!" The wizard says greedily out of character
Gm sighs.
Deeply.
Heavily.
Frustratedly.
He had written up quite of myriad of things that could or may happen to the item, through narrative or if by accident.
He didn't expect anyone to fucking eat it.
We didn't play for like a month while he figured out wtf to do.
To the Fae Trickster, as it lays dying at their feet: "Those who trust easily are either very naive or very powerful. Which is why you should step carefully around them, because they rarely showcase which one until the moment of trust broken"
2:30 PLEASE tell me the NPC responded with "What's a colouring book?"
In City of Heroes I was on Discord chat with our party. On a mission where we were basically sandwiched into the middle of a war between Fir Bolg (Pumpkin Heads with Stickman torso, arms and legs with hands like tree branches. They also throw fireballs shaped like skulls. A lot more powerful/creepy than I can make it sound here) and Tuatha De Danaan (Fuzzy Green humanoid were-elks with antlers and immensely strong) (Both groups based loosely (Very loosely) on Irish mythos apparently) and the waves of enemies kept on coming and we got whittled down until it was just me and my Dual Pistol Wielding, Energy Punching Blaster - but there was only one wave left and I managed to clear it with about 20% health left. (Most of the party had stuck around without rezzing to see how things would go before making a decision whether to use a medical teleport to the Hospital or not.)
I growled out the only appropriate movie line I could think of after the last Pumpkin head and the last fuzzy green humanoid elk fell over...
*"Does anybody ELSE want to NEGOTIATE???"*
I got laughter and applause from the Discord. 👍😎
"You should have gone for the head."
Said by my Aarakocra Artillerist after taking a crit that dropped him to 1 HP.
After that line, my character managed to land a maximum damage crit on the very person that crit him. It was enough damage to kill the enemy outright.
Playing Vampire, the group had split in a mangrove and my blood wizard crossed paths with a Malkavian serial killer that thought himself to be Batman. I managed to survive by telling him I was Robin. Eventually, he started realizing I wasn’t really who I said and, after diablerizing a poor Nosferatu in front of me, I was cornered. The group had found us and were closing in without him realizing. He said: “any last words, boy wonder?”. My character smirked and responded: “just three: TEEN TITANS GO!” and my Coterie tackled him.
I think my favorite badass line would have to be when my Harengon Ranger Farren, who had just multiclassed into Warlock, went up against a DM controlled Leonin. Now, Farren had just made a pact with Beshaba, the Maiden of Misfortune roughly two or so sessions before this, so he was itching for a fight.
Now, the Leonin in question was not immune to being frightened, but had advantage on saves against it, so when Farren hit him and tried to make him be fearful, two rolls above a 20 insured him that he wasn't scared, retorting with "Why do I have to fear you... when you are nothing but prey?"
Farren's response? He just simply chuckled and said: "The misfortune of the predator is far more than the misfortune of prey, for the prey's death is instant... but for the predator, it is long, slow, and agonizing... as they slowly starve to death... and it is this death... THAT I WILL GIVE YOU!!"
The fight after that line was nothing more than a slaughter, with Farren standing victorious over the fallen Leonin... after roughly 6 rounds of combat where he purposefully used weaker weapons after criting him in the 3rd round.
How.... do you come up with such lines? That crazy
I was playing a gun slinging wizard in a dungeon crawl oneshot, we got to the boss which was an undead beholder. It was a rough fight but i got the killing blow with a fireball, and pulled that classic jaws line of "smile you son of a bitch!" Before blowing it apart with the fireball in his mouth
Love the whole "You call me corpse conductor, now witness my symphony" from the Danse Macabre Necromancer.
Not necessarily the line but how it was delivered. My players were in barovia at a temple talking to the priest who was a deva disguised as human but not really hiding what he was nor what he was doing. The human fighter of the group is antagonizing the priest by asking questions then to finish off a speech he had going, he asked the deva "when was the last time you heard the voice of your father?" Causing the deva to rage and change before them and jumping the fighter. Surprisingly the party won with no casualties.
Im getting some Roland Deschain vibes off that line.
Needs a bit of background, but if anyone has seen Babylon 5, you'll get the reference.
I was playing a Paladin and messed up a stealth roll, alerting some Galeb Duhr to our location. After defeating them, the rogue angrily proclaims "You were so loud you woke up the damn stone!" To which I turn to her and simply reply "and the rocks cried out, "no hiding place.""
(For background, this is a line from the gospel song a choir is singing while the show cuts between them and a pompous, sadistic, slaver getting betrayed, isolated, and chased down by some former slaves, who are simply told "leave his face to be identified, the rest of him, do what you will")
My party had narrowly escaped death while crossing a planar rift that imposed aspects of the shadowfell on the material plane, but lost their packs (including most of their rations) in the previous encounter. Our halfling fighter was also cooking proficient, and had managed to scrounge a couple meals together from group foraging, but the dragonborn paladin (completely from his own roleplay) kept wishing they would be blessed with some game soon.
The next day, the party is ambushed as they are crossing a swamp by a HUGE alligator, notoriously territorial in the surrounding area. Right off the bat, the paladin draws his sword, grins, and shouts
"As Bahamut is my light, you will be our DINNER tonight!"
and charges in to start dumping smites into the thing. 🤣
Bro said “Finally. Delicious, Some good fucking food.”
When my players walked into the office of a specter in disguise who had taken over a city, and then confronted him, it went like this.
Specter: "This must be a mistake"
Wizard: "Mistake this" *crits with fire bolt*
Probably the best for me was when the party's base of operations, a druid grove, was being attacked by mech-soldiers flying in on attack choppers (the world was a magic-rich one having recently merged with a WWII-era, low-magic one).
My character, a Reborn Vengeance Paladin/Shadow Sorcerer who in his old life had been the champion of the god of death, was meditating in the grove's graveyard when the choppers swept overhead. He stood, reached out to his god, and said, "Dreaded Father, I commend these sorry souls to your keeping" as a cold mist began to fill the graveyard.
The second best, though it doesn't have a one-liner associated with it, was in the same game. My character doesn't generally believe in hiding; he gives enemies full warning of what's about to happen, and if they still choose to attack them, it's their funeral. He chose to wait for a harassing enemy force outside the fort's gate, sitting on his paladin steed. As soon as the enemy soldiers closed with him, he cast Darkness on himself that only he could see through.
All the enemy attacks missed, and he casually leaned down and picked up the enemy sergeant by the throat, then dropped Darkness and ordered the enemy soldiers to drop their weapons.
They did.
My first thought is from Jaiden Animations, the big bad was Alphrad’s character’s manager and when they defeated the BB Alpharad’s character days ‘You’re fired’ and I just think that’s cool.
I'd moved out of my home town to a city four hours away, but would still come and visit every month or so and when that day ended up on a D&D night for the game my friends were players in I would end up picking up whatever NPC the DM had ready.
At one point I was playing a necromancer who ended up traveling with the party for a while and on route from one city to another we came across a village that had recently been attacked and they had lost their priest and so had no one to perform their rites for all the dead that had stacked up. The necromancer had Charisma as a dump stat and had insanely high knowledge skills surrounding religion, arcana, history, etc. To me this suggested a single-minded focus that put him solidly on the spectrum.
When the party offered to help with patching up defenses and treating the injured, I had the necromancer offer to perform the appropriate last rites for them.
Mayor to Necromancer: "...And thank you for caring for my peop-..."
Necromancer, cutting him off: "For your *dead* ."
DM is stunlocked and players crack up.
14:00 😊😊😊 14:00 😊 14:00 😊😊😊
😊😊😊😊 14:00 😊 14:00 😊😊😊😊
😊😊 14:00 😊😊😊 14:00 😊
😊 14:00 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 14:00 😊 14:00 😊😊😊 14:00
The best line I can think of is probably from one of my DnD 5e games set in the Ghost of Saltmarch adventure.
My players decided they wanted to be pirates and one of the characters - lovingly referred to as The Captain - managed to weasel hismself into Umberlee's good books.
Thoughout the campaign, it was often remarked how he was loved by the sea and by the end of it, Umberlee gave him a magical Trident, that could control the waves.
In the final fight against one of the Sea Princes and their entire warband, The Captain used that Trident to sink 5 warships in a single turn during a heavy storm.
To try to intimidate the rest of the warband he started at the drowning Sea Prince and said one single sentence:
"Among all those at sea, there is only I, and those drowning beneath me."
It wasn't in D&D, but in a game called Godbound, where all of the characters are vying to become gods. My character was formerly a farmer who found that he had gained power over the earth and the plants, on top of being nearly unkillable (literally, he had a trait that he could only be outright killed by divine powers)
The first fight the party got into was rescuing a village from some marauders. Some of them attempted to attack my character, which failed because he had an insane unarmored defense.
In response, my god-to-be bellowed "You dare to challenge a deity of the earth while standing upon his turf!?" before unleashing a wave of stone shards that shredded the enemies who attacked him.
Mine was when a bbeg said “your path ends here” after getting me on low health before I yelled out “I PAVE MY OWN PATH!” before proceeding to crit him and then use action surge and somehow crit him a again killing him in one turn after some high damage rolls
"This is quite the shame, you couldve joined me you know"
"You can join me in hell"
With great difficulty, we captured the BBEG and had him restrained because several party members were opposed to killing him. Our artificer/rogue approached him, saying, "You captured a god and disrupted the natural order of your world to glorify your god. In thousands of years, you are the only person to figure out how to achieve such a feat. The god has been freed, order restored, and all your works undone. No one is likely to repeat your accomplishment. If you die, the world shall be safe again." - and he slashed open the throat of the hapless BBEG.
We had found a cursed black sword that just radiated evil. Our innocent naive cleric was very concerned about the fighter, who was a very pragmatic fellow.
Cleric: "Don't touch that weapon. It will consume your soul!"
Fighter: "Then it will feast at an empty temple."
“Bard you better get that lute ready, because you’re about to get some fresh material” Said by my mercenary character
Face to face with a great and terrifying unbeatable red dragon, already wounded, coughing blood and standing on my last legs, took out my pipe, gave my toothiest, blood spattered grin and said to the beast, “got a light?”
Ship to ship battle enemy cannons were about to fire next turn. Party wizard casts fireball through the gun ports. DM says "roll for damage on the pirates". Wizard said in the calmest of tones " I was aiming for the powder kegs." The party was deafened for 2 ingame days but instant won the battle.
Smart wiz
2:15 Bro, is he playing Bob Ross or what? 🥲
2:05 Was your cleric Bob Ross??
was thinkin that a lil bush here
"I do not give a fuck" my monk when a Red Dragon used frightful presence and I was the only player to succeed the test.