Stop leaving yourself vulnerable to data breaches. Go to my sponsor aura.com/kpc to get a 14-day free trial and see if any of your data has been exposed!
Get early access, exclusive bonus podcasts, K-pop reactions on Patreon - patreon.com/KoreanPizzaClub Unique & Aesthetic Korean products shipped globally - biroso.net/?RUclips&Korea+Pizza+Club Support the channel - Paypal - paypal.me/koreanpizzaclub __ 🎤 Host: David Kim @justdavid_92 Instagram: instagram.com/koreanpizzaclub Discord: discord.gg/xNkureCYJK
Most of the young simply watch their own parents suffer & endure loveless & unhappy, unhealthy marriage. It really changes one outlook on marriage. If the marriage is disproportional in finances, households responsibility, child-rearing. The kids of these marriages do not want to follow this path as well.
I have to clean about 8 hours a week, including laundry now that I am married. I do everything, and he only takes out the garbage. When I was single, I cleaned for 30mins a week.
I know of a few Koreans who did date and find someone they loved but the parents didn’t accept the relationship because they believed their son or daughter deserve better. The parents may also be setting unattainable expectations for their kids partners that it may be better not to feel rejected by your partner’s family and you second guess what it takes to be viewed as successful and acceptable partner. I think men more than women worry about being rejected for not being successful enough to be considered as suitable partners.
I am an Asian living in South Africa and believe me the parents are ridiculous here too. Not just amongst African people but other ethnic groups as well. Parents have insane expectations for their children's partners probably only a prince or princess ticks the boxes. I've known people who are average but their parents want supermodel physiques, facial beauty, fair eyes and professions such as doctors, lawyers, chartered accountants, actuaries and engineers as partners. My friend was a research professor and his girlfriend's parents said he wasn't successful enough for their daughter. The mothers are usually the worst.
The sad reality for young men and women in SK is that dating is like the Hunger Games. In a country with a high-achievement cultural phenomenon, the relentless pursuit of a perfect image and social status, where luxury goods are directly linked with self-worth, family pressures and unrealistic financial expectations, it's no wonder they don't want or cannot date. The unfairness of these expectations is a burden. Let's hope that the future becomes brighter for them.
Same values with other east asian countries like Japan and China. If a man has to marry a girl he needs to offer a big dowry, and this culture is also still practiced in SE Asia. Slowly creeping up here also in the Philippines and more people are not marrying, the catholic church got worried 😂
I am not from korea but i stopped dating 8 years ago because i have been dealing with depression and i dont want to drag anybody with me, i dont wanna date until i heal. I feel like people is struggling mentally/emotionally more than generations before, specially since covid started, and that can be also a factor that contributes to the decrease in dating in general... But i dont know, its just a thought.
Promote maternal society where granny, mothers , sisters live under same roof just like other mammals.....so that female can raise offsprings without being stressed out. Females arent entitled to take care of grown adult men....and its applicable to every mammal. Let female society decide how to raise baby.....collectively.....then u could expect rise in fertility rate. Media has made dating thing to dawgs.....by promoting materialistic things and wokeism.
@@handlebar4520 I think thats part of the problem; taking care of another grown adult. I feel like there are a number of young men and women out there who want to be "taken care of", and those of us with mental health issues of our own are simply unable to do it. But even if we were able to, are we really obligated to take care of another adult outside of a potential emergency? The only exception would be if we were dating someone with some kind of disability, or the person is going through pregnancy.
Don't fall into the trap of not trying to date until you feel you're ready. I have depression and this was my line of thought, I haven't dated in over 10 years and focused on therapy and medication but kept putting off dating until I felt healthy and good enough. Now i'm 34 and extremely rusty, and my depression is always lingering so I will have to find someone willing to accept me for who I am because it is a part of me.
After watching the way idols are cancelled for dating but not for SA allegations, I'm not surprised that people have given up on dating, marriage & children. Society & its elders, imposes such ridiculous expectations on the younger generations, that it must be so disheartening for them.
@@Maximo-p6kremember rize?? Toxic fan base leads to idols quitting for having normal relationships. It happens all the time. If it was more than that, than what was the extra? Niece told me about this story, and she literally boycotted, which i think is also extreme, but she was heavily involved in the story. I don’t remember any other extra details other than her telling me toxic fan base.
That’s how I came to married my husband. He knew all of interests and we went on dates such as these: Picnic by the river, zoo, botanical garden, jazz concert, movies and dinner. Nothing fancy, just cuisine we both like and wanna try. You gotta find someone who cares about your feelings and dreams, instead of someone trying to impress you with their fancy cars or high paychecks.
@@koreanpizzaclub Honestly as an American I've seen the cute things people do at it. I'd love to have a convenience store meal in a picnic tent and just cuddle or read a book while laying with my significant other.
I'm a single woman in my mids 30s from Canada. All of my friends are still single and dating as well. Seems to be a common thing...but also we lost prime dating years due to the covid lockdowns. Now everyone is broke due to the inflation, so a lot of people are taking on side hustles, or staying at home to save money, and no more third spaces to hangout and meet new people.
I fell you sister😂😂😂lol! In my mid-30's, I also found myself broke😅 ! .. from 2016, I've tried meeting or dating someone on online chatt? But, most of them only gave me emotional trauma's that weigh me down. My confidence was unshaken but, the experience I received from mental torture was a challenge that shocked me at the core of my sanity! Nowadays, it's too exhausted to deal with someone or rather, too lazy to have them get interested with me ..😕? It's pointless really. I feel so tired just, thinking about having a partner? I should BE better of my own ..😂❤🎉
@@enriqueperezarce5485 fertility goes down for both genders as we age. But women until 35-37 usually have no issue conceiving. sperm banks don’t accept men over 30 at least in the US. Stop watching red pill content
If you are not financially well off, staying marriage-free and child-free is probably actually a merciful act on your part not only for yourself but also for your potential child and society as a whole. With this intensely stressful, competitive world of today, you'd have to work extremely hard just to make ends meet even when you are single. Imagine having to financially care for a growing child, all the costs add up. You will stress out, which will affect your partner and child/children hugely. You may not even have much time to spend with your family and especially your child/children to not only see them grow up but provide parental guidance as you naturally should and would find great pleasure in. Without adequate time spent with parents and/or guidance from parents, your child/children risk being influenced by a lot of bad things going on in society (numerous studies have shown this). In the end, your child/children grow up to be messed up in the head in a lot of ways and may very well affect society negatively.
Excellent analysis and brilliant presentation, David, you've outdone yourself! The last comment is on point. It makes me so sad to hear that, yes people can "enjoy" themselves alone but like all species, we are made to share life with a companion. The materialistic side so present in SK society and social pressure is killing everything. You don't need to spend money to see someone, you just go for a walk in the park and chat, have home prepared picnic on Han river, so many free options. People have to stop comparing what others do and what is "supposed to be done" and embrace a more simple way of living. I bet they all have money for skin care and fancy clothes, so it's a matter of priorities, isn't it. I pity the youth these days...
This is the best and most optimistic comment I’ve read here. I don’t understand why more people don’t get that. Bravo to you. We think alike regarding this issue.
@ediorfitzgerald1478 well its funny that your think that you have a problem with people who don't think like you . We need social relationships doesn't necessarily a romantic relationship, social connexion come in different form friends, family, community.
@@MinieAnne I don’t think that at all. If you don’t want a romantic relationship then don’t have one. But if you do want a romantic relationship there are many ways to have one without having a billion won.
@@LemonJuice516 Oh dear, if you think it's the people who are responsible for what's happening around the world and not the corrupt global governments, I suggest you educate yourself a bit more.
I grew up dealing with social anxiety, so I wasn’t interested in dating. I don’t know anyone else in that situation, so it’s surprising to hear that so many other people are content being alone.
I teach in a university in Korea and most of my female students tell me that they don't want to get married and have kids because they don't want to be driven out of the work force. I think that, if there was more job security during and following pregnancy, women (myself included) would be more open to the idea. We're going to try with my husband next year, but I always have one year contracts, so I don't know what's going to happen. I will do my best to inconvenience my uni the least, so that they can sign me again the following year.
The thing is that you can't have it all. A company hires to make profit, not to be someone's caretaker, (I know, sounds harsh but is reality). In my professional experience, generally speaking, having "soon to be mothers" is a hassle, we have to do the extra work for the same salary, adapt to cater to pregnant women needs, and after they come back to work, they take many days off for family issues, just to keep the mom's work done when they are not in the office, most of the women quit their job and we have to making up for the vacant job position. That was all during my 20's and early 30's. Now I work on home office jobs and purposely turn off the team's notifications and only do my work without being bothered by my colleagues. I know it sounds harsh but you have to put boundaries for the companies AND colleagues that want to take advantage of you, mostly if you are a single man. My sympathy and empathy has diminished because everyone expects and even believe that are entitled to my time and consideration just because I'm a single man, but when I need a little favor all of a sudden is an inconvenience or even I become an abusive man, (emphasis on gender shaming). The most recent experience: I took extra hours and shifted free days because a coworker (married mom) had problems with his kid, I have to dismiss some long planned parties with firends and potential partners for that. Then, I have a problem because my elderly father got sick and hospitalized, I'm the youngest and single son, I never took vacations or anything else, well, I was fired because I was "slacking". I ask to my coworkers to shift free days and even over for overtime but no one lend me a hand, I used my vacations days to take care of my dad, and all my siblings where excused because they had a family (mostly with grown children) and have their extended families to support them, but no one help me besides my mom, when given the case I help them with some money at least. In my mid 20s wasn't that bad, but more intense, and I have worked the shifts of single moms, newly married wives, pregnant women and the regular unqualified Joe related to the high ranks, *for the same salary and no recognition*. And believe me, I all for "family goes first" that's why now I don't help anyone but me (and some dude that do helped me before) because I am the only one who takes real care of my parents, so I don't have the "luxury" to get sick helping other people, specially woman. Do I sound jaded? Yes, those are the perks of life I guess, being empathetic on this day and age is counterproductive. I've been played by men? Hell yeah, but I can get even with them, or, at least, not being labeled as a bigot for call their BS out loud.
I think it's more than being kicked out of work force. it is a highly patriarchal society but with a big difference. men and women share the money they earned but women are expected to work and do all the housework and childcare as well as managing a full time job as most husbands don't feel responsible enough to help. It is so unfair. in most patriarchal societies at least women are not expected to work and earn money.
@@dystervarg5257 Sounds more like you should be placing blame on the company instead. You have more in common with the people you seem to hate and blame than the one with power who had the ability to make all your lives reasonably easier. In fact, several countries have protections just for that thing and companies still make a lot of money so it really isn't putting them out.
Ironically, societal collapse from a low birth rate will probably end up in women losing their place in the workforce. I can’t imagine a society just vanishing. Instead, I think things might get pretty authoritarian…
@@MrNoxxta ofcourse not, whenever this happens people will fight...women will fight...and even unalive if needed, but never accept authority and violence! it never worked for a long time with any group of slaves/oppressed before..women are the same...we're all humans, we react mostly the same... changes in law and womens rights always were conquered with fight! we need to keep fighting for a better life, never wither in fear of men's violence...specially because they're already violent! we die more from men/husband/dating than anything else, so it's already a reality, and it's also the main reason for the situation to be like this!
1:33 I'm 26 female INFP single. I'm also single because i enjoy being alone. Literally alone, being left alone, with no one. I can do thousand things by myself when i'm alone. I'm glad i'm not the only one lol
It’s so hard to have a balance. You need to have love and a good financial foundation to make a marriage work. Most of all you need to build a partnership. That takes time and patience and compromise. I hope that young South Koreans will not continue to be discouraged.
@@rosie3408 You have a point, but I also think you need to trust someone a lot to actually move in with them, and ideally want to actually like them too. Maybe some would rather be stuck in poverty than risk being stuck with abuse. It at least takes considerable time to know someone that well, and that takes having enough spare time to actually spend plenty of time together, which again is connected with salaries and living cost, how much you need to work for a living
@@rosie3408 Completely right. I'm barely surviving on my income and life keeps getting more expensive. A couple renting a 2k apartment is fine, for a single person to do the same, it's tough. Add to that transportation, utilities, phone and internet, food, and other things (mom's nursing care and rent), and it's pretty crazy. But what can you do, decent partners don't just fall from the sky! 😂
@@rosie3408am from a different part of the world where the cost of living is also sky high, the only time two or more incomes makes anything better us if its friends living as housemates, being a vouple is actually added pressure because you are then exoected to become providers to extended family, might even have to take in some younger relatives, so now you have to ensure 3 meals a day in the house whereas if single, you could have a far less costly lifestyle. It sucks and might be tought to understand from where you stand but its reality for some of us
60 year old Australian here feeling super sad for today’s youth. I had the luxury of dating without the outside pressures of hyper competition and having to post something everyday on IG 😅 So much pressure, so much choice, so much stress these days. Wishing you all happy, simpler days ahead 💙
Maybe this country became famous from kdramas and kpop, but in kdramas and the way korean fans behave to artists, you can see how much problematic this society is, in these societies with so much stereotypes for everything, it is difficult for healthy relationships as love life, marriage life....
Not too different from real life, where it feels like at least the ladies express media-driven unrealistic standards for guys they'll deign to entertain a new conversation with. Then out of increasing risk aversion this ironically makes the average intimacy-starved dude only more awkward, desperate, and menacing.
There's no "probably" about it. There's a director on the set of every one of them that pressures the actors into doing things to ramp up.drama. Even shows on HGTV aren't safe.
@@doujinflip Huh. Even the guy have media-driven unrealistic standards for women and themselves and they reject everything that goes against their own standards as "woke" or "weakness". They accept too much their own urges as "natural" and like kids, they end up frustrated when their desires are not met which create a vicious downward spiral in their relationship with women. And the women themselves don't want to give up their freedom for a bad relationship and a crappy economical status which left them at the mercy of their husbands. So yeah, thy rise up their expctation.
It's suprising such "dating recession" is happening in south korea. Although the birth rate is super low, I thought couple culture is still intense and powerful in Korea. Thank you for making an interesting video.
Lol this is funny, I have been feeling the same way about dating here in America. Most of my friends are single and say the same things that S Koreans are saying in this video. We are recent college grads and can not imagine having the energy to date outside of work when we have more appealing hobbies (we don't just get on our phones, we also have hobbies like dance, recreational sports, hiking, etc. it's just that - for some reason these feel more like special interests and less of a way to spark romance. We would rather keep doing these hobbies than have to sacrifice the time we dedicate to them for a gf/bf that might not even last or waste our time). Dating apps themselves seem like a waste of time and I do all my hobbies besides dance by myself (happily). When it comes to dance, the majority of participants are women with some men usually in relationships or just emotionally unavailable + have red flag disease. I relate to there not really being an opportunity to meet people and not wanting to sacrifice how I use my time outside of work for a date. On top of that, dating is expensive and I think it is more common now for couples to split the bill here in America. I would rather just not go on the date because I do not have the money. Also, living with parents can kind of feel like a barrier too for many. Perhaps when I am 35 I will feel differently about dating (I am currently 23). But right now, dating feels like the biggest waste of time. I would rather stand in line for 2 hours for an Eva action figure than go on a date.
@@Ajattaro Hi...omg that is something I made up myself. I just use it to describe people who have a lot of red flags and not really actively trying to improve themselves. I hope that makes sense, lol.
It's so crazy to hear for me after a trip to Sth Korea: throughout three weeks I saw more couples and couples with children than I saw throughout the year back at my homecountry in Europe. I guess we don't leave houses anymore.
Keep in mind, dating is different in Korea. Those couples don’t usually last. They become a “couple” after literally one date and then break up not too long after.
@@seunolufemi7076the way they date there is different. There’s more pressure to “have someone” to go places and celebrate holidays. They date whoever is available and then break up shortly after.
There were also many children, just by comparison. And even though they allegedly don't last, they are still couples, if we forget of the humane aspect for a second, just for the numbers pov, it would mean that with multiple partners per year, yearly amount of days spent as a couple will be still high, whether for here you just go alone for years and don't date at all in mamy cases.
Abt the children they have been already born a couple years ago so they don't count for the current statistics. But this shows also what is already in numbers that declining birth rate is a global thing. And also a couple of years ago stopping having children was advocated by different groups to deal with overpopulation. World is crazy.
All these hyper competitive societies have the same dating pattern; most men are involuntarily excluded from dating, a few men clean up, and most women willingly belong to a harem. Not to say that is bad but that's just the result of a competitive "winner take all" society.
In Australia, people are always dating since high school. Students don’t have a lot of money especially from the poor areas but they’re still dating. If girls and guys really want to date then they won’t let money get in the way, so no luxury dinners and gifts are not a huge issue here. Unfortunately this is not the case for Korea based from the survey. Personally, I am a romantic so I just want to have a good time with someone that I can connect with. It doesn’t what we’re doing or where we are. The only thing that is keeping me single is not meeting the person that is compatible with me
You're correct, but thanks to medias, our society is now a very materialistic one ( show me how much you love me ) and now western women are proud to be entitled to everything for no reason but to be simply " a woman" .men are retiring from dating scene because of insane high standards and complete delusional requirements from women.
The pursuit of financial stability and career success often takes priority over forming personal connections. In a society where housing is expensive and there’s pressure to secure a stable job before settling down, many prefer to focus on making money rather than dating or forming friendships.
wooow David!! You are really working hard and it shows!! I really enjoyed the visuals, graphics and the different angles while you spoke in the video. You managed to make a topic that has been covered a lot recently more interesting and even gave new information. 👏🏽❤
I think you hit it well with that list of things that needs to change. Korean hubby and I talk about this korea problem sometimes. I also think open up hybrid or remote jobs so koreans can move further away from Seoul where it's cheaper and still have decent careers.
I don't see chaebol companies being for it tho. They'd lose a good deal of grip to intimidate koreans to work unpaid under-the-table overtime. I'm sad about the Korean birth situation. Sure this is happening in other places, but it seems extreme in Korea.
Good to see you again David! It’s so crazy to think I started watching you guys on DKDKTV back in 2016 that feels like a lifetime ago. Hope your new channel is going great!
great coverage David. the comments were interesting to hear, and i also related to many of them. The pandemic also plays a hand, people are much more content with just chilling or being alone. Not to mention the popularity of Korean home body type vlogs, this also made this sort of lifestyle more appealing and ok to live in this way. I stopped dating for a few years and honestly forgot that it was even an expectation lol
Not just South Korea. Countries like the U.S. & China are going through the same thing. Here in the U.S., recent studies have shown that 63% of men, including myself, are not interested in dating. For someone who has Asperger's, I found that trying to go on dates was SUPER hard. Either I was too socially inept, I got rejected a lot, and some just took advantage of me. I gave up when I entered my 30's & I gotta say that being single is so much easier. More freedom, more money for myself, less stress, & and drama.
Wow. I felt exhausted just listening to what the Korean youth had to say about how they have to live their lives. No wonder they are making the choices they are. I'm saddened when I think of how far the country has come in the past half-century, and yet consider what the youth are having to give up because they don't feel they can afford it. I live in the state of Utah, USA. Lots of options for inexpensive date ideas, since the predominant church here encourages weekly dates for all couples, including those married with children, yet also emphasizes living within one's means. So there may be a little less pressure here to have to be able to afford expensive outings. Well done, David.
Do the big corporations realize that in the near future, there won't be qualified employees and they will go bankrupt? Do university professors realize their jobs are going to disappear soon? Here in the US, every once in a while, you hear about a college/university shutting down for good. (Not enough students means not enough tuition income and not enough alumni donations.) As a result some of the professors worry and cry because they don't know how to do anything else.
I'm from a country in Africa and i can say most of the dating culture here is just casual hookups and even in the actual dating scene with couples its like a known thing here that "we are many " lol...like its VERY common to be in a serious relationship with someone while still being in a serious relationship with sbd else...to the point where i fear its becoming normal. And the only reason the birth rate is high is mainly just "careless" / unprotected intimate relations...
David, been watching your content for years and agree with everything discussed in this video. In addition to all the reasons you mentioned, I have another reason for having never been in a relationship, although I always wanted one. As an idealist and seeing so many relationships/marriages fail, I wanted to avoid the hassle and potential heartbreak unless I met someone I REALLY clicked with, which I never have. Also, watching both my parents suffer severe medical problems as they age and helping as their caregiver at times, I decided I don't want to put that burden on a spouse or have that burden placed on me, because I've seen and experienced the emotional and physical toll it takes on family. While I wish I had a companion to love and share my life with, the risk of disappointment or the fear of being a burden (or the caregiver) makes me hesitant. I can't seem to throw caution to the wind and pursue love blindly, not when the risk is so high.
First off! I like this style of video and took noticed in the effort to make it different. I know you talked about this topic a lot but it felt new. I was really interested in hearing the POVs from both men and women. I’m currently in Seoul for vacation and I find it sad seeing all the young people get off from work so late. Even seeing school kids in their uniforms late. I couldn’t meet up with one of my friends while in town because she said she had to work late. It just over all sucks. I think dating is hard wherever you go. Especially, when the cost of living keeps going up.
Also about the rings, its a trend in my country to buy a casual partner a "commitment ring", kinda. Mostly as a "we're exclusive but not official" thing. Maybe it's a trend in korea too?
@@maryelizabeth5393 I don't like relationships myself but for societal proof I will cooperate with opposite gender with similar thinking for fake relationship in front of others.
The comments you read out are confirming for me about what I feel myself and see in many comments from other regions in the world: The working people are extremely overworked and overstressed and burnt out. I am not the least bit surprised no one has the energy anymore for dating or having children.
I’m really shocked by this, but it’s a great video as always You don’t have to go on an expensive date, instead find a place where you can enjoy yourself with your date
I am in the "wedding business" in the US (Sarasota County, FL). I am a Certified Wedding Specialist, a Professional Bridal Consultant, a Professional Wedding Planner, a Marriage Educator, a Certified Wedding Ceremony Officiant and an Ordained Minister. About 75% of the couples that I marry are over the age of 35 years old. And many of the couples that I marry are over the age of 60 years old. And just about all of the couples that I marry are on their second or third marriage. It's been a long, long time since a young couple (18 - 22 years old) has contacted me about getting married. Marrying your high school or college sweetheart right after graduation just doesn't seem to be "the norm" anymore. Many couples are very happy and content just living together.
No, many men in their 20 to 33 years of age do not want to sign marriage licenses with women for fear of paying alimony for life. They have witnessed previous generation of men in their families suffered financially and emotionally after divorce due to paying child support, alimony, and loss of custody of their children. Most women still love to get married with men that they like in terms of sexual compatibility and financial status. Today most women know there is a slim chance for them to get married with their high school sweethearts because those young men have been bombarded with negative information about women's greed and infidelity from social media and their friends/families. Many male celebrities request that their women sign prenuptial agreements or no marriage.
I find this scenario so disheartening! I've experienced marriage and motherhood and it was affordable. I don't know how my children will afford all the things we could give them for their children . Is this truly an only Korean issue? Isn't it becoming a more global issue? Life and education is expensive everywhere. It feels like we made it by a hairs breadth, our youngest is almost done studying and it felt like completing a financial marathon. What will become of the youth of today? Perhaps if the stop the war in Ukrainian and Gaza things will improve? Even a country like ours, SA, where food has ALWAYS been affordable, is chopping off. I can't believe how expensive food has become! The entire world needs a break! Prayers for you young Korean people, I honestly feel sincerely sorry for your hearships. If I was my childrens ages I'd probably also be single today. I got married at 22, my daughter turned 23 and is worried she will be single forever 😅. Times have most definitely changed so much. Does dating have to be so elaborate? Why not simply catch each other for a coffee and keep it simple? I think if Koreans "lowered their standards" they'd find that simple things can be entertaining too, like a picnic. Perhaps you should start a trend David! Affordable dating ideas and locations in SK. This was interesting and well researched. I suddenly feel blessed just knowing in South African culture, it's more important what kind of character you have, (80% of people being Protestant) your faith and values are important. The rest becomes a side issue. It must be truly exhausting to keep up with societie's expectation rather than your own goals at your own pace. "Just be yourself and live your own life" is a South-African thing. We really don't care what others think or say! It's each to their own.
How sad. My husband and i married after a year of dating 45 years ago. Together we managed 2 very demanding carreers and raised 4 children. Life was full of joy and problems. However, there has never been a day that I have not been grateful for his love and support. He has my back and i have his. We are still friends as well as lovers. How much richer my life has been because he is in it.
Congratulations. Well unfortunately those times are long gone for us millennials and generations below us across the western world. Nowadays everyone just hates each other because evil people are making money off the divide.
There’s also the fact that most young Asians are constantly pressured to do well in school to the point most don’t have the luxury of friends much less a romantic partner, so of course they’re going to be awkward and inexperienced when it comes to finding someone.
People are expecting way too much from dating. Romantic relationships is just another dimension in life. It's definetly worth it exploring it. Don't make a too big deal out of it, but yes you have to make yourself attractive. Yes a lot of effort is not gonna go anywhere. So what. Like most things worthwhile instant gratification is not on the menu. And no matter your gender take your expectations down to your own level. When people say "I won't settle" I instantly think "but someone that does not make you feel that you are settling will have to settle for you". We ALL have to settle.
Well this is informative. I have always thought that dating got more and more difficult as I got older. I’m in the US but I’ve heard more “I deserve…” than “It would be nice if…”. Not saying that my idea applies to the majority of Korea, but the US is huge with a lot of different people with different wants and needs. I feel like if so many people have the same mindset in such a small area, taking the economy into account, it must be so hard for a majority of people to find someone that will fulfill their desires as a partner. I’m hoping something happens to boost the birth rate in Korea soon
Promote maternal society where granny, mothers , sisters live under same roof just like other mammals.....so that female can raise offsprings without being stressed out. Females arent entitled to take care of grown adult men....and its applicable to every mammal. Let female society decide how to raise baby.....collectively.....then u could expect rise in fertility rate. Media has made dating thing to dawgs.....by promoting materialistic things and wokeism.
I wonder, considering the wealth inequality in Korea and lack of good jobs, maybe it's better to cull the hard so to speak? Not having enough worker bees would force the uber wealthy owners to raise wages. Supply and demand would dictate this. Here in the USA we have jobs, but wages are so low it's hard to pay bills.
It’s really a shame as I think this is becoming a common occurrence across east Asia - S Korea, Japan and even China. Unrequited love aside, we expect so much / too much from a partner - I regret some of my life decisions when I was at my 20s. It is what it is.
Usually history repeats itself, during the Roman era when there were ‘good’ times people were not habitn babies and the Roman govt tried to get their citizens to have babies. Oddly during bad times people tend to have more babies when there are less resources. I guess the human cycle just repeats.
This kind of echoes the problem is going around the world. Definitely financial is a huge issue. If you can’t afford to have a family, or we can go on a date, it’s better not to do it. But also, I feel it’s important for men and women to redefine what they are looking for in a relationship. Each genders role has changed in society to some extent, which means that the way we look at a relationships also has to change. Additionally , I think that the genders are becoming much more aware of our incompatibilities. (Though I feel that men have gained more awareness on this aspect than women) so the result is: dating isn’t necessarily that fulfilling. At this time, at least.
The stats made me sad. But then I realized I'm part of the non dating culture. I stopped dating by choice almost 18 years ago. (US) I'm worried about the low Korean birthrate. 😢
@@zakosist Yeah I read somewhere that Korean people don’t know how to be single because having a girlfriend or boyfriend is such a part of the culture. It’s as normal as making a new friend here. Whereas in the West there is less pressure to be in a relationship and being independent is valued.
6:25 It's fun to watch others date/ interact but it's not fun when you do it yourself. Also, women observe that in ALL dating shows men never give a chance to a woman who is not as conventionally attractive as the other ones. She could be highly educated, talented, rich, a great cook, kind-hearted - you name it, they don't give a f, it's all about looks for them. The humiliation that happens in dating shows happens in real life as well.
When I became interested in Korean culture some years ago, dating culture included men putting themselves into debt to impress a woman on a date to "prove they had means;" men felt pressure to continually outdo themselves, until their credit card balance was astronomical. Now, as an American, I'm good with coffee dates (just not as Starbucks) and "free day" at an art museum. But I'm also good with "let's make pizza and stream a movie at my place," but another video warned that Korean men automatically assume that if you invite them over, you're wanting sex (your house is just a more intimate video bang, which yet another video said to NEVER suggest to a man as a date idea!), which is probably putting off a lot of Korean women as well, because an STD or unexpected pregnancy (especially if Korean men are as opposed to taking responsibility by wearing a condom as American men are because "I can't feel anything!") can wreck a woman's life.
A woman doesn’t have to sleep with a man. It isn’t his responsibility to wear a condom to protect you. He wears a condom to protect himself. If you want to protect yourself there is no requirement to touch an exposed penis.
I believe after one has crossed after age 21....all is focused on career and become economically stable rather than thinking of marrying and raising a family ..
This is the best video I’ve seen in this topic yet. For me, I surmise to these few points for the rest of the world 1. Past major recessions have created or aggravated family violence and issues causing disillusionment of the value of family 2. Presently everyone is working overtime with no luxury in mental space or money to spend on dating. Everything can be done or delivered to you so you really don’t need to rely on anyone. Dating apps have aggravated the risk of dating for women and the cost and expectations for men. 3. It is an uphill battle for the future of families as the chance of future generations doing as well or better than you is declining. People have no hope in a better future for families. In the past, you can find someone you like and work towards a better future. But now, if you don’t have basics down, it is almost irresponsible to start anything. This is probably the same for the rest of the world as well. But it is surprising that nearly 60% of young Koreans have never been in a relationship before. Though I think the fast nature of dating nowadays means that you can easily go through many “some” partners and tire out without ever being in a committed relationship.
I've definitely heard of most of these reasons besides everything being concentrated in seoul. I knew that was a separate issue but I hadn't thought of it in terms of dating trouble. For those individuals that live outside of Seoul and thr few other bigger cities it must be more challenging to date when everyone is moving to Seoul or you don't have that many options to choose from. I hate when yhey do this in the US with cities but i couldn't imagine the frustration I'd feel if yhe entire country was like that and I was actively looking for someone to date.
This is one of the better videos I've watched on this topic. It wasn't alarmist but also didn't shy away from showing unpleasant realities. It also didn't make a show about solutions and what people should or shouldn't do about this. That last netizen comment about things that should go away in Korea for there to be proper change was great. My conclusion is that young people vote with their feet and their habits regarding which society they want to live in. It doesn't seem like this current iteration of Korean society will survive for very long without serious changes.
I'm single and would like not to be, but nowadays the standarts are so high. You have to be popular, rich, beautiful, funny, young, with an exemplar family and single!! Who is like that?
I always get yapped at for it, but the unhealthy work obsession and long hours the culture and world pushes out just isn’t helping. We are gonna die, there has to more to life than to maximize gdp and profits. People will be surprised to see how happy they will be when they have less fancy goods but good relationships, health, and time. The spirit health is more important than the wallets. This doesn’t apply to just SK, all the world is just caught up on money and results. Not everything has to be perfect and efficient i believe. The work environment has to change. Wonderful video brother
One of the reasons I’m no longer interested in dating is because I’d rather spend my free time staying home and watching k-dramas. Now isn’t that ironic? 😂
Lets not pretend we don't know why this is happening in all first world developed and developing nations shall we? By design, the workers/slaves simply can't afford to have children now...
I just found your channel. I lived in Korea for a long time from the early 1990s until the early 2000s from what you say everything is changed and not necessarily in a good way.
7:40 I was seeing the disposable acquaintance phenomenon a decade ago. Like seriously I've never met anyone who forgot we struck up a conversation at a meetup earlier that week until I met Koreans from Korea.
I grew up in Taiwan and already felt all those societal pressures at 19, so I moved to the States seeking more personal freedom. The birth rate in Taiwan is also really low, but I know many people that I went to schools with already have children so I never thought about how bad it is there. This video truly points out all the same issues in Taiwan- toxic work culture, unfair expectations on women/Moms who have to work, in-law conflicts, financial pressures etc. Seems like similar struggles are common in East Asia. I lived in Japan for many years, I think the birth rate is slightly higher because they have amazing support system for Moms from the government, with really long maternity leaves, providing local babysitters, monthly payments per child etc. however, I feel the part that you mentioned about not seeing positive, respectful, and loving relationship from parents truly is a really really important factor besides all the outside influences.
Money is the solution. Offer money and things will change quickly. We did it in Australia. Every new baby born from a certain date was worth $5000 Australian dollars. Pensions were raised, free health care and discounts on shopping and power and gas etc. There off course was a baby boom so eventually it got phased out because maternity wards were maxed out and were under real pressure. Once things were phased out. Less babies born.
Thank you for your response. Sir, I hope you have not misinterpreted my comment. I agree with you. I feel sad that so many people don't even date anymore. I feel sad that so many people don't care about dating anymore. And I feel sad that so many people will never experience the joy of loving someone and being loved by someone.
Stop leaving yourself vulnerable to data breaches. Go to my sponsor aura.com/kpc to get a 14-day free trial and see if any of your data has been exposed!
Get early access, exclusive bonus podcasts, K-pop reactions on Patreon - patreon.com/KoreanPizzaClub
Unique & Aesthetic Korean products shipped globally - biroso.net/?RUclips&Korea+Pizza+Club
Support the channel - Paypal - paypal.me/koreanpizzaclub
__
🎤 Host: David Kim @justdavid_92
Instagram: instagram.com/koreanpizzaclub
Discord: discord.gg/xNkureCYJK
@@koreanpizzaclub are you getting spam ads while using aura?
@koreanpizzaclub then have 100 kids if u like
Lmao you're just realizing this issue in Korea when the western is already filled with this "gender division"
Most of the young simply watch their own parents suffer & endure loveless & unhappy, unhealthy marriage. It really changes one outlook on marriage. If the marriage is disproportional in finances, households responsibility, child-rearing. The kids of these marriages do not want to follow this path as well.
This part!!!!! People want to ignore this. Marriage which comes after successful dating is just more work for the woman 😢
I have to clean about 8 hours a week, including laundry now that I am married. I do everything, and he only takes out the garbage. When I was single, I cleaned for 30mins a week.
@@shea1219 have you talked to him about doing his fair share?
@@shea1219 Ok, but what did you do INSTEAD of housework before you were married? Which one would you prefer?
Im guessing the man working full time to support a family isnt working loool@RedLion304
I know of a few Koreans who did date and find someone they loved but the parents didn’t accept the relationship because they believed their son or daughter deserve better. The parents may also be setting unattainable expectations for their kids partners that it may be better not to feel rejected by your partner’s family and you second guess what it takes to be viewed as successful and acceptable partner. I think men more than women worry about being rejected for not being successful enough to be considered as suitable partners.
This type of thinking from older generation is very common in Asia not just South Korea. Everyone thinks that their children are the most precious.
The kids needs to grow some balls then if they only gonna be a slave to there parents
I am an Asian living in South Africa and believe me the parents are ridiculous here too. Not just amongst African people but other ethnic groups as well. Parents have insane expectations for their children's partners probably only a prince or princess ticks the boxes. I've known people who are average but their parents want supermodel physiques, facial beauty, fair eyes and professions such as doctors, lawyers, chartered accountants, actuaries and engineers as partners. My friend was a research professor and his girlfriend's parents said he wasn't successful enough for their daughter. The mothers are usually the worst.
The sad reality for young men and women in SK is that dating is like the Hunger Games. In a country with a high-achievement cultural phenomenon, the relentless pursuit of a perfect image and social status, where luxury goods are directly linked with self-worth, family pressures and unrealistic financial expectations, it's no wonder they don't want or cannot date. The unfairness of these expectations is a burden. Let's hope that the future becomes brighter for them.
👆👆👆
Exactly. Well said. It’s the combination of all of the above.
it sounds like hell fr. basically the opposite of how i live... i would be eaten alive in SK
Same values with other east asian countries like Japan and China. If a man has to marry a girl he needs to offer a big dowry, and this culture is also still practiced in SE Asia. Slowly creeping up here also in the Philippines and more people are not marrying, the catholic church got worried 😂
I don't think hope alone is going to be enough to pull them out of this downward trend before it's too late
I am not from korea but i stopped dating 8 years ago because i have been dealing with depression and i dont want to drag anybody with me, i dont wanna date until i heal. I feel like people is struggling mentally/emotionally more than generations before, specially since covid started, and that can be also a factor that contributes to the decrease in dating in general... But i dont know, its just a thought.
exactly this! I’m the same
Promote maternal society where granny, mothers , sisters live under same roof just like other mammals.....so that female can raise offsprings without being stressed out.
Females arent entitled to take care of grown adult men....and its applicable to every mammal.
Let female society decide how to raise baby.....collectively.....then u could expect rise in fertility rate.
Media has made dating thing to dawgs.....by promoting materialistic things and wokeism.
I can't even take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of someone I supposedly love?
@@handlebar4520 I think thats part of the problem; taking care of another grown adult. I feel like there are a number of young men and women out there who want to be "taken care of", and those of us with mental health issues of our own are simply unable to do it.
But even if we were able to, are we really obligated to take care of another adult outside of a potential emergency? The only exception would be if we were dating someone with some kind of disability, or the person is going through pregnancy.
Don't fall into the trap of not trying to date until you feel you're ready. I have depression and this was my line of thought, I haven't dated in over 10 years and focused on therapy and medication but kept putting off dating until I felt healthy and good enough. Now i'm 34 and extremely rusty, and my depression is always lingering so I will have to find someone willing to accept me for who I am because it is a part of me.
After watching the way idols are cancelled for dating but not for SA allegations, I'm not surprised that people have given up on dating, marriage & children.
Society & its elders, imposes such ridiculous expectations on the younger generations, that it must be so disheartening for them.
Idols have never been canceled for dating. They get hate but they still stay continue as idols.
@@Maximo-p6k I have to disagree with you, go look up what happened to the boy in RIIZE, he even received death threats
@felixfreckleshyunjinmoleye6243 True, but I think it was more than just him having a gf.
I bet AI has a role in it too, the AI role is worldwide
@@Maximo-p6kremember rize?? Toxic fan base leads to idols quitting for having normal relationships. It happens all the time. If it was more than that, than what was the extra? Niece told me about this story, and she literally boycotted, which i think is also extreme, but she was heavily involved in the story. I don’t remember any other extra details other than her telling me toxic fan base.
you do not need an expensive date, do a picnic by the Han River
I wish everybody thought like this.
That’s how I came to married my husband. He knew all of interests and we went on dates such as these: Picnic by the river, zoo, botanical garden, jazz concert, movies and dinner. Nothing fancy, just cuisine we both like and wanna try.
You gotta find someone who cares about your feelings and dreams, instead of someone trying to impress you with their fancy cars or high paychecks.
@@koreanpizzaclub Honestly as an American I've seen the cute things people do at it. I'd love to have a convenience store meal in a picnic tent and just cuddle or read a book while laying with my significant other.
@@Audrey_Lyou are completely correct. I told my man I'm perfectly happy just sitting in a blanket and watching a movie with him.
Han River smells.
I'm a single woman in my mids 30s from Canada. All of my friends are still single and dating as well. Seems to be a common thing...but also we lost prime dating years due to the covid lockdowns. Now everyone is broke due to the inflation, so a lot of people are taking on side hustles, or staying at home to save money, and no more third spaces to hangout and meet new people.
I dont feel financially desirable enought to date yet, not without eating thro my savings, so i havent bothered in a while
I fell you sister😂😂😂lol! In my mid-30's, I also found myself broke😅 ! .. from 2016, I've tried meeting or dating someone on online chatt? But, most of them only gave me emotional trauma's that weigh me down. My confidence was unshaken but, the experience I received from mental torture was a challenge that shocked me at the core of my sanity!
Nowadays, it's too exhausted to deal with someone or rather, too lazy to have them get interested with me ..😕? It's pointless really.
I feel so tired just, thinking about having a partner? I should BE better of my own ..😂❤🎉
Damn I hope you didn’t want kids because that ship has sailed but dating is still possible but just harder compared to 20s year old women
@@enriqueperezarce5485What? Women in their 30ies are still fine getting pregnant. What are you talking about?
@@enriqueperezarce5485 fertility goes down for both genders as we age. But women until 35-37 usually have no issue conceiving. sperm banks don’t accept men over 30 at least in the US. Stop watching red pill content
If you are not financially well off, staying marriage-free and child-free is probably actually a merciful act on your part not only for yourself but also for your potential child and society as a whole.
With this intensely stressful, competitive world of today, you'd have to work extremely hard just to make ends meet even when you are single. Imagine having to financially care for a growing child, all the costs add up. You will stress out, which will affect your partner and child/children hugely. You may not even have much time to spend with your family and especially your child/children to not only see them grow up but provide parental guidance as you naturally should and would find great pleasure in. Without adequate time spent with parents and/or guidance from parents, your child/children risk being influenced by a lot of bad things going on in society (numerous studies have shown this). In the end, your child/children grow up to be messed up in the head in a lot of ways and may very well affect society negatively.
Excellent analysis and brilliant presentation, David, you've outdone yourself! The last comment is on point. It makes me so sad to hear that, yes people can "enjoy" themselves alone but like all species, we are made to share life with a companion. The materialistic side so present in SK society and social pressure is killing everything. You don't need to spend money to see someone, you just go for a walk in the park and chat, have home prepared picnic on Han river, so many free options. People have to stop comparing what others do and what is "supposed to be done" and embrace a more simple way of living. I bet they all have money for skin care and fancy clothes, so it's a matter of priorities, isn't it. I pity the youth these days...
This is the best and most optimistic comment I’ve read here. I don’t understand why more people don’t get that. Bravo to you. We think alike regarding this issue.
@ediorfitzgerald1478 well its funny that your think that you have a problem with people who don't think like you . We need social relationships doesn't necessarily a romantic relationship, social connexion come in different form friends, family, community.
@@MinieAnne I don’t think that at all. If you don’t want a romantic relationship then don’t have one. But if you do want a romantic relationship there are many ways to have one without having a billion won.
You created the youth boomer. You are as much at fault for whats going now then the young you pitty.
@@LemonJuice516 Oh dear, if you think it's the people who are responsible for what's happening around the world and not the corrupt global governments, I suggest you educate yourself a bit more.
I grew up dealing with social anxiety, so I wasn’t interested in dating. I don’t know anyone else in that situation, so it’s surprising to hear that so many other people are content being alone.
You literally described like 1/3 guys, 0 confidence
I teach in a university in Korea and most of my female students tell me that they don't want to get married and have kids because they don't want to be driven out of the work force. I think that, if there was more job security during and following pregnancy, women (myself included) would be more open to the idea. We're going to try with my husband next year, but I always have one year contracts, so I don't know what's going to happen. I will do my best to inconvenience my uni the least, so that they can sign me again the following year.
The thing is that you can't have it all. A company hires to make profit, not to be someone's caretaker, (I know, sounds harsh but is reality). In my professional experience, generally speaking, having "soon to be mothers" is a hassle, we have to do the extra work for the same salary, adapt to cater to pregnant women needs, and after they come back to work, they take many days off for family issues, just to keep the mom's work done when they are not in the office, most of the women quit their job and we have to making up for the vacant job position. That was all during my 20's and early 30's. Now I work on home office jobs and purposely turn off the team's notifications and only do my work without being bothered by my colleagues.
I know it sounds harsh but you have to put boundaries for the companies AND colleagues that want to take advantage of you, mostly if you are a single man. My sympathy and empathy has diminished because everyone expects and even believe that are entitled to my time and consideration just because I'm a single man, but when I need a little favor all of a sudden is an inconvenience or even I become an abusive man, (emphasis on gender shaming).
The most recent experience: I took extra hours and shifted free days because a coworker (married mom) had problems with his kid, I have to dismiss some long planned parties with firends and potential partners for that. Then, I have a problem because my elderly father got sick and hospitalized, I'm the youngest and single son, I never took vacations or anything else, well, I was fired because I was "slacking". I ask to my coworkers to shift free days and even over for overtime but no one lend me a hand, I used my vacations days to take care of my dad, and all my siblings where excused because they had a family (mostly with grown children) and have their extended families to support them, but no one help me besides my mom, when given the case I help them with some money at least.
In my mid 20s wasn't that bad, but more intense, and I have worked the shifts of single moms, newly married wives, pregnant women and the regular unqualified Joe related to the high ranks, *for the same salary and no recognition*. And believe me, I all for "family goes first" that's why now I don't help anyone but me (and some dude that do helped me before) because I am the only one who takes real care of my parents, so I don't have the "luxury" to get sick helping other people, specially woman.
Do I sound jaded? Yes, those are the perks of life I guess, being empathetic on this day and age is counterproductive. I've been played by men? Hell yeah, but I can get even with them, or, at least, not being labeled as a bigot for call their BS out loud.
I think it's more than being kicked out of work force. it is a highly patriarchal society but with a big difference. men and women share the money they earned but women are expected to work and do all the housework and childcare as well as managing a full time job as most husbands don't feel responsible enough to help. It is so unfair. in most patriarchal societies at least women are not expected to work and earn money.
@@dystervarg5257 Sounds more like you should be placing blame on the company instead. You have more in common with the people you seem to hate and blame than the one with power who had the ability to make all your lives reasonably easier. In fact, several countries have protections just for that thing and companies still make a lot of money so it really isn't putting them out.
Ironically, societal collapse from a low birth rate will probably end up in women losing their place in the workforce. I can’t imagine a society just vanishing. Instead, I think things might get pretty authoritarian…
@@MrNoxxta ofcourse not, whenever this happens people will fight...women will fight...and even unalive if needed, but never accept authority and violence! it never worked for a long time with any group of slaves/oppressed before..women are the same...we're all humans, we react mostly the same... changes in law and womens rights always were conquered with fight! we need to keep fighting for a better life, never wither in fear of men's violence...specially because they're already violent! we die more from men/husband/dating than anything else, so it's already a reality, and it's also the main reason for the situation to be like this!
1:33 I'm 26 female INFP single. I'm also single because i enjoy being alone. Literally alone, being left alone, with no one. I can do thousand things by myself when i'm alone. I'm glad i'm not the only one lol
Wow awesome video!
@@koreanpizzaclub lol so did you comment on your own video? jk!
@@_aPaladin 😂
Is that you Danny
come back Danny
It’s so hard to have a balance. You need to have love and a good financial foundation to make a marriage work. Most of all you need to build a partnership. That takes time and patience and compromise. I hope that young South Koreans will not continue to be discouraged.
Every settlement you set has a balance. You just have to like one.
This is not just in Korea.. in Hawaii the cost of living is one of the highest in the USA..people stay single for the sanity of it all..less STRESS
Imagine how much easier it would be with 2 incomes instead of 1.
@@rosie3408 You have a point, but I also think you need to trust someone a lot to actually move in with them, and ideally want to actually like them too. Maybe some would rather be stuck in poverty than risk being stuck with abuse. It at least takes considerable time to know someone that well, and that takes having enough spare time to actually spend plenty of time together, which again is connected with salaries and living cost, how much you need to work for a living
@@rosie3408 Completely right. I'm barely surviving on my income and life keeps getting more expensive. A couple renting a 2k apartment is fine, for a single person to do the same, it's tough. Add to that transportation, utilities, phone and internet, food, and other things (mom's nursing care and rent), and it's pretty crazy. But what can you do, decent partners don't just fall from the sky! 😂
@@rosie3408am from a different part of the world where the cost of living is also sky high, the only time two or more incomes makes anything better us if its friends living as housemates, being a vouple is actually added pressure because you are then exoected to become providers to extended family, might even have to take in some younger relatives, so now you have to ensure 3 meals a day in the house whereas if single, you could have a far less costly lifestyle. It sucks and might be tought to understand from where you stand but its reality for some of us
@rosie3408 two incomes sounds great until your spouse decides to walk away and you have to raise kids alone.
60 year old Australian here feeling super sad for today’s youth.
I had the luxury of dating without the outside pressures of hyper competition and having to post something everyday on IG 😅
So much pressure, so much choice, so much stress these days.
Wishing you all happy, simpler days ahead 💙
Maybe this country became famous from kdramas and kpop, but in kdramas and the way korean fans behave to artists, you can see how much problematic this society is, in these societies with so much stereotypes for everything, it is difficult for healthy relationships as love life, marriage life....
Women can't tell reality from fiction, actually thinking k dramas are real life 🤣
The editing, pacing and graphics here are great. A lot of work clearly went into this and it shows. Well done David🎉
Wow. Nice video, David. I like this format. I like the pacing too. The graphics, the cuts, etc. 👍
Thank you so much! More like this coming soon!
The issue with dating shows is that they are very unrealistic and probably manipulated by tv producers.
Not too different from real life, where it feels like at least the ladies express media-driven unrealistic standards for guys they'll deign to entertain a new conversation with. Then out of increasing risk aversion this ironically makes the average intimacy-starved dude only more awkward, desperate, and menacing.
There's no "probably" about it. There's a director on the set of every one of them that pressures the actors into doing things to ramp up.drama. Even shows on HGTV aren't safe.
@@doujinflip Huh. Even the guy have media-driven unrealistic standards for women and themselves and they reject everything that goes against their own standards as "woke" or "weakness". They accept too much their own urges as "natural" and like kids, they end up frustrated when their desires are not met which create a vicious downward spiral in their relationship with women.
And the women themselves don't want to give up their freedom for a bad relationship and a crappy economical status which left them at the mercy of their husbands. So yeah, thy rise up their expctation.
if kids grow up in a healthy happy family, they want to have their own healthy happy family.
It's suprising such "dating recession" is happening in south korea. Although the birth rate is super low, I thought couple culture is still intense and powerful in Korea. Thank you for making an interesting video.
Lol this is funny, I have been feeling the same way about dating here in America. Most of my friends are single and say the same things that S Koreans are saying in this video.
We are recent college grads and can not imagine having the energy to date outside of work when we have more appealing hobbies (we don't just get on our phones, we also have hobbies like dance, recreational sports, hiking, etc. it's just that - for some reason these feel more like special interests and less of a way to spark romance. We would rather keep doing these hobbies than have to sacrifice the time we dedicate to them for a gf/bf that might not even last or waste our time).
Dating apps themselves seem like a waste of time and I do all my hobbies besides dance by myself (happily). When it comes to dance, the majority of participants are women with some men usually in relationships or just emotionally unavailable + have red flag disease. I relate to there not really being an opportunity to meet people and not wanting to sacrifice how I use my time outside of work for a date. On top of that, dating is expensive and I think it is more common now for couples to split the bill here in America. I would rather just not go on the date because I do not have the money. Also, living with parents can kind of feel like a barrier too for many. Perhaps when I am 35 I will feel differently about dating (I am currently 23). But right now, dating feels like the biggest waste of time. I would rather stand in line for 2 hours for an Eva action figure than go on a date.
Can you elaborate on the red flag disease? Would like to understand that a bit better. Greetings from Finland!
@@Ajattaro Hi...omg that is something I made up myself. I just use it to describe people who have a lot of red flags and not really actively trying to improve themselves. I hope that makes sense, lol.
@Shara-222 makes sense as a description! Haha
It's so crazy to hear for me after a trip to Sth Korea: throughout three weeks I saw more couples and couples with children than I saw throughout the year back at my homecountry in Europe. I guess we don't leave houses anymore.
Lol I was just about to post this exact comment. Does not look that way on the street.
Keep in mind, dating is different in Korea. Those couples don’t usually last. They become a “couple” after literally one date and then break up not too long after.
@@seunolufemi7076the way they date there is different. There’s more pressure to “have someone” to go places and celebrate holidays. They date whoever is available and then break up shortly after.
There were also many children, just by comparison. And even though they allegedly don't last, they are still couples, if we forget of the humane aspect for a second, just for the numbers pov, it would mean that with multiple partners per year, yearly amount of days spent as a couple will be still high, whether for here you just go alone for years and don't date at all in mamy cases.
Abt the children they have been already born a couple years ago so they don't count for the current statistics. But this shows also what is already in numbers that declining birth rate is a global thing. And also a couple of years ago stopping having children was advocated by different groups to deal with overpopulation. World is crazy.
All these hyper competitive societies have the same dating pattern; most men are involuntarily excluded from dating, a few men clean up, and most women willingly belong to a harem. Not to say that is bad but that's just the result of a competitive "winner take all" society.
In Australia, people are always dating since high school. Students don’t have a lot of money especially from the poor areas but they’re still dating. If girls and guys really want to date then they won’t let money get in the way, so no luxury dinners and gifts are not a huge issue here. Unfortunately this is not the case for Korea based from the survey. Personally, I am a romantic so I just want to have a good time with someone that I can connect with. It doesn’t what we’re doing or where we are. The only thing that is keeping me single is not meeting the person that is compatible with me
You're correct, but thanks to medias, our society is now a very materialistic one ( show me how much you love me ) and now western women are proud to be entitled to everything for no reason but to be simply " a woman" .men are retiring from dating scene because of insane high standards and complete delusional requirements from women.
" statistics dont matter to the individual", i recently heard that in a video and i think thats very important to keep in mind.
The pursuit of financial stability and career success often takes priority over forming personal connections. In a society where housing is expensive and there’s pressure to secure a stable job before settling down, many prefer to focus on making money rather than dating or forming friendships.
wooow David!! You are really working hard and it shows!! I really enjoyed the visuals, graphics and the different angles while you spoke in the video. You managed to make a topic that has been covered a lot recently more interesting and even gave new information. 👏🏽❤
Thank you! I’m glad I could provide new info.
Lack of honesty, rising individualism, growing distrust and suspicion in relationships can be cited as the reason.
I think you hit it well with that list of things that needs to change. Korean hubby and I talk about this korea problem sometimes. I also think open up hybrid or remote jobs so koreans can move further away from Seoul where it's cheaper and still have decent careers.
That would be a great start actually!
I don't see chaebol companies being for it tho. They'd lose a good deal of grip to intimidate koreans to work unpaid under-the-table overtime. I'm sad about the Korean birth situation. Sure this is happening in other places, but it seems extreme in Korea.
Good to see you again David! It’s so crazy to think I started watching you guys on DKDKTV back in 2016 that feels like a lifetime ago. Hope your new channel is going great!
great coverage David. the comments were interesting to hear, and i also related to many of them. The pandemic also plays a hand, people are much more content with just chilling or being alone. Not to mention the popularity of Korean home body type vlogs, this also made this sort of lifestyle more appealing and ok to live in this way. I stopped dating for a few years and honestly forgot that it was even an expectation lol
Not just South Korea. Countries like the U.S. & China are going through the same thing. Here in the U.S., recent studies have shown that 63% of men, including myself, are not interested in dating. For someone who has Asperger's, I found that trying to go on dates was SUPER hard. Either I was too socially inept, I got rejected a lot, and some just took advantage of me. I gave up when I entered my 30's & I gotta say that being single is so much easier. More freedom, more money for myself, less stress, & and drama.
Wow. I felt exhausted just listening to what the Korean youth had to say about how they have to live their lives. No wonder they are making the choices they are. I'm saddened when I think of how far the country has come in the past half-century, and yet consider what the youth are having to give up because they don't feel they can afford it. I live in the state of Utah, USA. Lots of options for inexpensive date ideas, since the predominant church here encourages weekly dates for all couples, including those married with children, yet also emphasizes living within one's means. So there may be a little less pressure here to have to be able to afford expensive outings. Well done, David.
this topic has always been so interesting to me, this style of video is great
Happy to be a part of 4B in USA 🎉
Welcome to human extinction
I really enjoyed this style of video! Relatively short and informative 👍 I would also enjoy longer "prepared" videos aswell 😊
I second that 😃
Do the big corporations realize that in the near future, there won't be qualified employees and they will go bankrupt?
Do university professors realize their jobs are going to disappear soon?
Here in the US, every once in a while, you hear about a college/university shutting down for good. (Not enough students means not enough tuition income and not enough alumni donations.) As a result some of the professors worry and cry because they don't know how to do anything else.
I'm from a country in Africa and i can say most of the dating culture here is just casual hookups and even in the actual dating scene with couples its like a known thing here that "we are many " lol...like its VERY common to be in a serious relationship with someone while still being in a serious relationship with sbd else...to the point where i fear its becoming normal. And the only reason the birth rate is high is mainly just "careless" / unprotected intimate relations...
David, been watching your content for years and agree with everything discussed in this video. In addition to all the reasons you mentioned, I have another reason for having never been in a relationship, although I always wanted one. As an idealist and seeing so many relationships/marriages fail, I wanted to avoid the hassle and potential heartbreak unless I met someone I REALLY clicked with, which I never have. Also, watching both my parents suffer severe medical problems as they age and helping as their caregiver at times, I decided I don't want to put that burden on a spouse or have that burden placed on me, because I've seen and experienced the emotional and physical toll it takes on family. While I wish I had a companion to love and share my life with, the risk of disappointment or the fear of being a burden (or the caregiver) makes me hesitant. I can't seem to throw caution to the wind and pursue love blindly, not when the risk is so high.
First off! I like this style of video and took noticed in the effort to make it different. I know you talked about this topic a lot but it felt new. I was really interested in hearing the POVs from both men and women.
I’m currently in Seoul for vacation and I find it sad seeing all the young people get off from work so late. Even seeing school kids in their uniforms late. I couldn’t meet up with one of my friends while in town because she said she had to work late.
It just over all sucks. I think dating is hard wherever you go. Especially, when the cost of living keeps going up.
As a person living in Korea, I see so many couples. Like an absurd amount of people on dates, wearing matching outfits, etc.
Me too! The stats were so surprising. I guess what we see with our eyes can be quite deceiving🤷🏻
@@koreanpizzaclub someone said that even people I thought were married could just be wearing couple rings, not actually committed to each other
Maybe a lot of casual relationships, but not many comitted relationships/marriage?
Also about the rings, its a trend in my country to buy a casual partner a "commitment ring", kinda. Mostly as a "we're exclusive but not official" thing. Maybe it's a trend in korea too?
@@maryelizabeth5393 I don't like relationships myself but for societal proof I will cooperate with opposite gender with similar thinking for fake relationship in front of others.
The comments you read out are confirming for me about what I feel myself and see in many comments from other regions in the world: The working people are extremely overworked and overstressed and burnt out. I am not the least bit surprised no one has the energy anymore for dating or having children.
This is a great format David. It's structured and informative. 💜
Great video! You have a nice cadence to your voice which is personable and enjoyable to listen to.
I like this format David. Great vodeo
I’m really shocked by this, but it’s a great video as always
You don’t have to go on an expensive date, instead find a place where you can enjoy yourself with your date
Same in SoCAL. Financial, ego, and status pressure is just too much.
I guess it’s universal..?!
I am in the "wedding business" in the US (Sarasota County, FL). I am a Certified Wedding Specialist, a Professional Bridal Consultant, a Professional Wedding Planner, a Marriage Educator, a Certified Wedding Ceremony Officiant and an Ordained Minister. About 75% of the couples that I marry are over the age of 35 years old. And many of the couples that I marry are over the age of 60 years old. And just about all of the couples that I marry are on their second or third marriage. It's been a long, long time since a young couple (18 - 22 years old) has contacted me about getting married. Marrying your high school or college sweetheart right after graduation just doesn't seem to be "the norm" anymore. Many couples are very happy and content just living together.
No, many men in their 20 to 33 years of age do not want to sign marriage licenses with women for fear of paying alimony for life. They have witnessed previous generation of men in their families suffered financially and emotionally after divorce due to paying child support, alimony, and loss of custody of their children. Most women still love to get married with men that they like in terms of sexual compatibility and financial status. Today most women know there is a slim chance for them to get married with their high school sweethearts because those young men have been bombarded with negative information about women's greed and infidelity from social media and their friends/families. Many male celebrities request that their women sign prenuptial agreements or no marriage.
Super interesting new format David ! Would love to see more of those
I find this scenario so disheartening! I've experienced marriage and motherhood and it was affordable. I don't know how my children will afford all the things we could give them for their children . Is this truly an only Korean issue? Isn't it becoming a more global issue? Life and education is expensive everywhere. It feels like we made it by a hairs breadth, our youngest is almost done studying and it felt like completing a financial marathon. What will become of the youth of today? Perhaps if the stop the war in Ukrainian and Gaza things will improve? Even a country like ours, SA, where food has ALWAYS been affordable, is chopping off. I can't believe how expensive food has become! The entire world needs a break! Prayers for you young Korean people, I honestly feel sincerely sorry for your hearships. If I was my childrens ages I'd probably also be single today. I got married at 22, my daughter turned 23 and is worried she will be single forever 😅. Times have most definitely changed so much.
Does dating have to be so elaborate? Why not simply catch each other for a coffee and keep it simple? I think if Koreans "lowered their standards" they'd find that simple things can be entertaining too, like a picnic. Perhaps you should start a trend David! Affordable dating ideas and locations in SK.
This was interesting and well researched. I suddenly feel blessed just knowing in South African culture, it's more important what kind of character you have, (80% of people being Protestant) your faith and values are important. The rest becomes a side issue. It must be truly exhausting to keep up with societie's expectation rather than your own goals at your own pace. "Just be yourself and live your own life" is a South-African thing. We really don't care what others think or say! It's each to their own.
Great video! What a great voice you have
How sad. My husband and i married after a year of dating 45 years ago. Together we managed 2 very demanding carreers and raised 4 children. Life was full of joy and problems. However, there has never been a day that I have not been grateful for his love and support. He has my back and i have his. We are still friends as well as lovers. How much richer my life has been because he is in it.
Congratulations. Well unfortunately those times are long gone for us millennials and generations below us across the western world. Nowadays everyone just hates each other because evil people are making money off the divide.
Love the video format! Great job!
There’s also the fact that most young Asians are constantly pressured to do well in school to the point most don’t have the luxury of friends much less a romantic partner, so of course they’re going to be awkward and inexperienced when it comes to finding someone.
People are expecting way too much from dating. Romantic relationships is just another dimension in life. It's definetly worth it exploring it. Don't make a too big deal out of it, but yes you have to make yourself attractive. Yes a lot of effort is not gonna go anywhere. So what. Like most things worthwhile instant gratification is not on the menu.
And no matter your gender take your expectations down to your own level. When people say "I won't settle" I instantly think "but someone that does not make you feel that you are settling will have to settle for you". We ALL have to settle.
I liked this survey and this way of presentation... like calm and interesting content.
Very informative and professionally done video! Interesting and well done!
Well this is informative. I have always thought that dating got more and more difficult as I got older. I’m in the US but I’ve heard more “I deserve…” than “It would be nice if…”. Not saying that my idea applies to the majority of Korea, but the US is huge with a lot of different people with different wants and needs. I feel like if so many people have the same mindset in such a small area, taking the economy into account, it must be so hard for a majority of people to find someone that will fulfill their desires as a partner. I’m hoping something happens to boost the birth rate in Korea soon
Promote maternal society where granny, mothers , sisters live under same roof just like other mammals.....so that female can raise offsprings without being stressed out.
Females arent entitled to take care of grown adult men....and its applicable to every mammal.
Let female society decide how to raise baby.....collectively.....then u could expect rise in fertility rate.
Media has made dating thing to dawgs.....by promoting materialistic things and wokeism.
I wonder, considering the wealth inequality in Korea and lack of good jobs, maybe it's better to cull the hard so to speak? Not having enough worker bees would force the uber wealthy owners to raise wages. Supply and demand would dictate this.
Here in the USA we have jobs, but wages are so low it's hard to pay bills.
Great video David! 😊 Great graphics & info!
It’s really a shame as I think this is becoming a common occurrence across east Asia - S Korea, Japan and even China.
Unrequited love aside, we expect so much / too much from a partner - I regret some of my life decisions when I was at my 20s. It is what it is.
"Yes I'm single, now is your chance" sticker cracking me up rn
So articulate and well modulated voice.
Usually history repeats itself, during the Roman era when there were ‘good’ times people were not habitn babies and the Roman govt tried to get their citizens to have babies. Oddly during bad times people tend to have more babies when there are less resources. I guess the human cycle just repeats.
Rich countries have the lowest birth rates, poor countries have the highest. How the world goes lol
Where did you get this info
imagine a proper netflix kdrama/show about this
This kind of echoes the problem is going around the world.
Definitely financial is a huge issue. If you can’t afford to have a family, or we can go on a date, it’s better not to do it.
But also, I feel it’s important for men and women to redefine what they are looking for in a relationship.
Each genders role has changed in society to some extent, which means that the way we look at a relationships also has to change.
Additionally , I think that the genders are becoming much more aware of our incompatibilities. (Though I feel that men have gained more awareness on this aspect than women)
so the result is: dating isn’t necessarily that fulfilling. At this time, at least.
Great content David
The stats made me sad. But then I realized I'm part of the non dating culture. I stopped dating by choice almost 18 years ago. (US)
I'm worried about the low Korean birthrate. 😢
I’ve lived in S Korea for five years now and I can spot countless young couples by simply going outside lol
Maybe the issue is there couples are mostly only superficial and dont lead anywhere
@@zakosist Yeah I read somewhere that Korean people don’t know how to be single because having a girlfriend or boyfriend is such a part of the culture. It’s as normal as making a new friend here. Whereas in the West there is less pressure to be in a relationship and being independent is valued.
6:25 It's fun to watch others date/ interact but it's not fun when you do it yourself. Also, women observe that in ALL dating shows men never give a chance to a woman who is not as conventionally attractive as the other ones. She could be highly educated, talented, rich, a great cook, kind-hearted - you name it, they don't give a f, it's all about looks for them. The humiliation that happens in dating shows happens in real life as well.
When I became interested in Korean culture some years ago, dating culture included men putting themselves into debt to impress a woman on a date to "prove they had means;" men felt pressure to continually outdo themselves, until their credit card balance was astronomical. Now, as an American, I'm good with coffee dates (just not as Starbucks) and "free day" at an art museum. But I'm also good with "let's make pizza and stream a movie at my place," but another video warned that Korean men automatically assume that if you invite them over, you're wanting sex (your house is just a more intimate video bang, which yet another video said to NEVER suggest to a man as a date idea!), which is probably putting off a lot of Korean women as well, because an STD or unexpected pregnancy (especially if Korean men are as opposed to taking responsibility by wearing a condom as American men are because "I can't feel anything!") can wreck a woman's life.
A woman doesn’t have to sleep with a man. It isn’t his responsibility to wear a condom to protect you. He wears a condom to protect himself. If you want to protect yourself there is no requirement to touch an exposed penis.
Expectations are too high for both men and women!
for women, not for men
@@bugra320for men not women
@@adityagogoi9133 for women not men
@@bugra320victim mentality
Both genders are suffering, your all playing to Satans trap
Not enough hugs...they don't hug their kids enough.
Great video David! This format really suits you and the channel. Greetings from Colombia!
US here there is an old blues song - I CAN DO BAD BY MYSELF, great lyrics.
I believe after one has crossed after age 21....all is focused on career and become economically stable rather than thinking of marrying and raising a family ..
This is the best video I’ve seen in this topic yet.
For me, I surmise to these few points for the rest of the world
1. Past major recessions have created or aggravated family violence and issues causing disillusionment of the value of family
2. Presently everyone is working overtime with no luxury in mental space or money to spend on dating. Everything can be done or delivered to you so you really don’t need to rely on anyone. Dating apps have aggravated the risk of dating for women and the cost and expectations for men.
3. It is an uphill battle for the future of families as the chance of future generations doing as well or better than you is declining. People have no hope in a better future for families. In the past, you can find someone you like and work towards a better future. But now, if you don’t have basics down, it is almost irresponsible to start anything.
This is probably the same for the rest of the world as well. But it is surprising that nearly 60% of young Koreans have never been in a relationship before. Though I think the fast nature of dating nowadays means that you can easily go through many “some” partners and tire out without ever being in a committed relationship.
I've definitely heard of most of these reasons besides everything being concentrated in seoul. I knew that was a separate issue but I hadn't thought of it in terms of dating trouble. For those individuals that live outside of Seoul and thr few other bigger cities it must be more challenging to date when everyone is moving to Seoul or you don't have that many options to choose from. I hate when yhey do this in the US with cities but i couldn't imagine the frustration I'd feel if yhe entire country was like that and I was actively looking for someone to date.
This is one of the better videos I've watched on this topic. It wasn't alarmist but also didn't shy away from showing unpleasant realities. It also didn't make a show about solutions and what people should or shouldn't do about this. That last netizen comment about things that should go away in Korea for there to be proper change was great. My conclusion is that young people vote with their feet and their habits regarding which society they want to live in. It doesn't seem like this current iteration of Korean society will survive for very long without serious changes.
Great video!👍🏻
I'm single and would like not to be, but nowadays the standarts are so high. You have to be popular, rich, beautiful, funny, young, with an exemplar family and single!! Who is like that?
I always get yapped at for it, but the unhealthy work obsession and long hours the culture and world pushes out just isn’t helping. We are gonna die, there has to more to life than to maximize gdp and profits. People will be surprised to see how happy they will be when they have less fancy goods but good relationships, health, and time. The spirit health is more important than the wallets. This doesn’t apply to just SK, all the world is just caught up on money and results. Not everything has to be perfect and efficient i believe. The work environment has to change. Wonderful video brother
so insightful ! x
Wow this video changed my life. Watch this if you wanna start dating to getting married. Think twice. Think again. Think keep thinking!
LOL
I'm curious, how is it in your country? Are younger people becoming more reluctant to dating?
One of the reasons I’m no longer interested in dating is because I’d rather spend my free time staying home and watching k-dramas. Now isn’t that ironic? 😂
57% is insane, that can't be accurate
Yeah it certainly higher in reality, 57% without relationship is just a rough estimate.
Lets not pretend we don't know why this is happening in all first world developed and developing nations shall we? By design, the workers/slaves simply can't afford to have children now...
I just found your channel. I lived in Korea for a long time from the early 1990s until the early 2000s from what you say everything is changed and not necessarily in a good way.
One of the best vids youve ever made.
7:40 I was seeing the disposable acquaintance phenomenon a decade ago. Like seriously I've never met anyone who forgot we struck up a conversation at a meetup earlier that week until I met Koreans from Korea.
I grew up in Taiwan and already felt all those societal pressures at 19, so I moved to the States seeking more personal freedom.
The birth rate in Taiwan is also really low, but I know many people that I went to schools with already have children so I never thought about how bad it is there.
This video truly points out all the same issues in Taiwan- toxic work culture, unfair expectations on women/Moms who have to work, in-law conflicts, financial pressures etc. Seems like similar struggles are common in East Asia.
I lived in Japan for many years, I think the birth rate is slightly higher because they have amazing support system for Moms from the government, with really long maternity leaves, providing local babysitters, monthly payments per child etc.
however, I feel the part that you mentioned about not seeing positive, respectful, and loving relationship from parents truly is a really really important factor besides all the outside influences.
Taiwan birth rate is 8 and Japan is 7 per 1000…..
Taiwan still has higher birth rate…..by quite a lot actually. 😑
@@tuck295q Taiwan birth rate is 0.87. One of the lowest in the world and similar to Hong Kong and Korea.
@@hdlk Korea is already lower than both but they are the worst of Asia cultural wise anyway so….
Money is the solution. Offer money and things will change quickly. We did it in Australia. Every new baby born from a certain date was worth $5000 Australian dollars. Pensions were raised, free health care and discounts on shopping and power and gas etc. There off course was a baby boom so eventually it got phased out because maternity wards were maxed out and were under real pressure. Once things were phased out. Less babies born.
they want to be millionaires and have g-wagons to drop kids off at school. then will just give guy 1 kid at 40. it’s not gonna work. drop delusion.
David 🙏 you are so right !!! David for the President of S. Korea !! 🔥
XD
Thank you for your response. Sir, I hope you have not misinterpreted my comment. I agree with you. I feel sad that so many people don't even date anymore. I feel sad that so many people don't care about dating anymore. And I feel sad that so many people will never experience the joy of loving someone and being loved by someone.
David, you and me both are single out here in Korea. 😅 But it honestly isn’t any better back in New Jersey. Ha
But with all those invented standards and calculated looking for a partner you will never be happy, that is not love.
Extinction begins
Great video.
☺️☺️☺️