THE ONE AND ONLY CLOCK TOCK STOPPER | SILLY RHYMING KIDS BOOK READ ALOUD | PATRICIA THOMAS

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Today I'm going to read The One and Only Super Duper Golly Whopper Jim Dandy Really Handy Clock Tock Stopper by Patricia Thomas.
Take one old, gray, grouchy porcupine, one clock with too loud a tick tock and one fast talking, rasal rabbit who just happens to have the one and only, super duper, golly whopper, jim dandy, really handy clock tock stopper! Mix them together and what do you get? A whale of a tale!
Old gray, grouchy Porcupine lived in a house where the sun didn’t shine, a deep, dark hole. Once made by a mole, below the lumpy stump of a twisted pine. And not a very happy soul was that porcupine. No sir, he didn’t like the stump; he didn’t like the hole. He hadn’t even said “Thank you” to the mole. (But then anyone who knew him would include to expect that of the porcupine). He was, you see, one who could never be quite content no matter what he did or where he went. In summer he got entirely too hot; But in winter he’d be too cold, like as not. Each day he’d say the sun was too bright. But then, he’d contend it was too dark at night. He was, in short, the sort who would complain whether it did or did not rain. He had no friends who’d stop by to play or ask, “How do you like the weather today?” Why bother-they already knew what Porcupine would say! So mostly he just stayed in his hole...by himself... alone except for his clock on the shelf. He’d sit there in his rocker and rock and grumble and mumble to his clock. And the clock would answer simply, “Tick, tock.” Well, things went along pretty much this way, until one day (When he could think of nothing else to complain about) He vowed his clock’s tock was too loud and let out a shout! “Clock,” he cried. “I find it shocking that you should prattle and rattle on with this constant tick-tocking! Why, you make so much noise I can’t hear myself think- Let alone propose to doze off a wink!” “Tick, tock,” answered the clock. So the porcupine shouted once more, in his loudest voice, “Clock, I demand- yes, command- you stop this noise!” The clock paid no attention. “Tick,” it said firmly. “Tock.” The porcupine, not knowing what else to do, was in the process of removing his shoe, ready to throw it at the clock when just then, at his door he heard a knock. As he opened it, in walked a rabbit, who tipped his hat and said, “Sir, you don’t know me, but I understand that you have a problem-and I’m here to solve it. Yes, dissolve it. It seems this is your lucky day, for I just happen to have here in my bod the One and only, super-duper, golly-whopper, jim-dandy, really-handy clock-tock stopper. Yes sir, and it comes with a written-down, money-back guarantee, plus a thirty-day trial which is absolutely free- except for a mere twenty dollar deposit. Which you can leave right here with me.” Porcupine stared at him in shock as the rabbit slipped an odd-looking object over the clock. It was sort of a mass of gears and springs and fluffy pillows tied on with strings, attached to the clock with a bar holding twenty-seven bees in a peanut butter jar. “I’ll take that twenty dollars now,” said the rabbit, skipping out the door. Porcupine stood there, rooted to the floor. The bees started to buzz and beat the air with their wings, which moved the gears; which sprung the springs; which tugged the pillows, tied with string. And now the clock said, Buzz, bizz, whirr, whizz, boing, sproing, swoosh, whoosh, tick, tock, tick, tock. “Hold on!” cried the porcupine. “There’s something very much amiss about all this. Rabbit!” he called loudly. “How dare you disappear! I insist you come back here and fix this contraption you’ve put on my clock, for now its tick is even louder than its tock!” “Well, here I am,” said the rabbit, bounding back into Porcupine’s hole. “I can see you have trouble. Yes I can, Bless my soul! And it’s my fault, too. Yes it is, for I should have seen that you couldn’t stop your clock’s tock with such a simple machine. No sir, you need an attachment. You need the Snap-In, quick-fix, custom-sized clock tock stopper hopper popper and I just happen to have one. Mind you, there’s only one here that I could find you. But it’s all yours for only twenty dollars-including tax and handling fee, which I can hold for you naturally.” Before Porcupine could utter a word, the rabbit produced another object so absurd, Porcupine couldn’t decide which looked the worst- the second contraption or the first. It had a frog in a cage, which jumped at the bees, landing on a set of piano keys, which played a chorus of “Row, row your boat,” Which struck a match on the final note, which lit a candle in a can, which started popcorn popping in a pan, which spilled out all over the clock. And now it said buzz, bizz, whirr, whizz, boing, sproing, swoosh, whoosh, jingle, tingle, hop, pop, tick, tock, tick, tock. “Rabbit!” cried the Porcupine.
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