Sometimes the content sells itself and the commenter only intends to highlight parts they feel stood out. Nothing wrong with that. Pretty sure everyone with an education used a highlighter before.
I love how they begin more subtly, making it a wierd but at that point still somewhat credible story and then they gradually get wilder and more outrages, until at some point all doubt of wether this could be real or gone. The strange thing is that it is hard to determine where in this story that point is.
my son also shot a burglar just last week, he was 63 and screaming all kinds of crazy stuff like ''where am I?'' and ''Can you help me get home?'', I've never been more proud!
0:40 so said burglar looked hungry. Meaning that it was potentially a homeless man stealing out of desperation. That thought just makes this whole ordeal waaaaay worse
All these actors deserve so much more recognition. They breathe such personality into these small roles, it’s incredible how they make these skits come to life!
When comedy wasnt censored it made it so much better. If this video was made now twitter would have CPS at the kids parents house for even allowing him to be a part of the video. Comedy mostly sucks now aside from the few that just don’t give a fuck anymore.
@@NovemberFoxtrotRC Bro, twitter freely does r@pe, pedophilic and ect content and jokes regularly. Twitter is epitome of dark humor. Thet are polarised, though. This type* of humor is nothing to them Edit: typo
Nah, see, only rookies go for the stomach. If you a pro you can get them to come out the butt. We call it shitin teeth. Around here we get together and see who can get the most teeth out. We been running out of neighbors for recent though.
@@SiisKolkytEuroo That is a sad commentary on how much more braindead people are becoming. It's like people can't look beyond the face value of anything that has a professional look these days. It's kinda sad how many commercials I see on TV these days with a guy in a white coat that has a stethoscope around his neck and in the fine print it says hes a paid actor/spokesman. Yet oddly enough half of the legit videos of crazy stuff that happens with evidence to back it up is called fake because it's a clip uploaded to a site like RUclips. This craziness is what allows celebrities to cause antivaxer movements and weak tenuous connections between visual observations from naive idiots to cause flattards. It's like we are devolving into jello headed morons.
This would explain the digging, she outgrew the nest and was kicked out but knows where all the tunnels are. She's trying to exact revenge on her subterranean tormentors/estranged family.
0:34 “I take it out a lot. Sometimes I just look at it.” He _just_ looks at it _sometimes,_ implying he does more most times… Even from such a young age, he works himself to the bone every day! Truly an admirable, larger-than-life hero!
he kind of gives me vibes of that guy in the office, with dark circles half of the time, new guyish, dark brown hair, think his name was tony or smt? i don’t really watch that show
ESPECIALLY dark when you have seen the "Interviewer" travel across America trying a bunch of PORK dishes... what a dark ending... "Jim Haggerty Porks The USA! -- Porkin' Across America" ruclips.net/video/PwQns6vGfj4/видео.html
This is just wrong. The kid shot the fingers off? He should have used a pair of pruning shears and it would haven't disfigured them as much. That way the finger necklace would be pristine.
There’s another great one under the kid at 2:01 . It says “Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with Dad’s power drill” 😂 Jesus Christ
"I wanted the blood." "Weeelll he's gotten a little shy now." Not only are the actors who play the hosts amazing, but every guest knocks it out of the park, even when they're only 8!
"He started crying, so I shot him in the back." "He wouldn't stop talking so I shot his jaw!" "I like the way the blood makes me feel!" "I want the blood."
How tf is Lucas a hero ? The fuckin dude put his hands up yet he still shot him with pure enjoyment!! And shot his jaws off ? For WHAT ?!?! Nigga could’ve just called his dad or the cops, that kid put that dude thru hell like wtf wrong wit u white people.. no one deserves to die like that
"Well how did you manage to do that, Lucas?" "Either you shoot at the temples and pull down, or you shoot at the side of the skull wall." Wait, so he's done this more than once?
LITERALLY. the way this kid is talking, he sounds like a serial killer. he said it himself the man looked HUNGRY, he even pleaded with him not to shoot and the kid seemed pleased with himself. thatis a psychopath in the making
When I originally clicked on this video, I thought it said “burger” instead of burglar and was really confused when I started watching and waiting for them to mention the burger before I reread the title.
He's really cut down the counties stray dog population. And whatever his homelessness solution is, it has been working! He said in 10 years he "shall ascend to the presidency" and an NRA spokeswoman said they can't wait to endorse him!
He's just a good old fashioned family man. Can't get much better than that! Everyday, the children and the wife line up at the front of the house awaiting their daily beating upon his arrival!
Remy Martin It wasn’t bravery. Bravery is doing something for good even though you’re afraid to. This was only a desire to hurt someone. One gun shot would have been understandable as defense but the rest of the injuries were only to keep causing him pain even though he was already defenseless after the first shot.
I put this video on my watchlist thinking it was real. I clicked on it thinking it was real. I watched it thinking it was real. I. Left. TRAUMATIZED. Than I looked at who made it.
The kid’s all grown up now and living a productive life in my town. It’s weird how he always dumps a whole bunch of cherry cobbler into the trash right after I stop hearing from one of my neighbors, though.
Yeah. I heard firecracker-like sounds from his backyard on Halloween, and my friend (in the backyard) perfectly replicated a dead body, even going as far as making it look like he was decapitated.
Trying to explain to people TODAY that this is satire from the onion IS WILD. It’s on IG right now and I’m like “ Cmon y’all… you can’t tell this isn’t real??!” Now That’s scary.
I think people are less skeptical now for some reason. Pretty much everything medical I've seen from IG is a complete lie, yet everyone seems to gobble it up.
I sure wish people would quit using the word "fake" when it comes to satire. People, satire isn't "fake," and it isn't meant to "fool" anyone. It's 100% REAL satire. Jesus.
Ictus Satire isn't fake, you idiot. It's satire. For something to be fake, it has to be trying to pass as the real thing in order to fool people. Satire isn't trying to fool people into believing it's real, it's just trying to satirize things. Sure, some people are idiots and THINK it's real, but let's not let idiots determine how we define concepts.
I am Sekou You should shut the fuck up moron, he's right. Satire is an art form where fake news is news that's perpetuating false information under the pretense of that information being factual. It's like saying that inglorious bastards is propaganda when it's just a movie.
only just now did i notice the “sometimes i just look at it” when he’s talking about taking out the gun. he’s killed before, this is just the first time he’s been able to talk about it
This kid isn't acting. And he's out there, right now, growing stronger.
Oh no, oh no no no
Rumor has it later in life he heroically killed 2 rioters in Kenosha lol
@@killmeorudie1 lol, damn man. that was brutal
Why would he be acting?
@@frog8779
Oh yesss 😈
"He started crying so I shot him in the back,"
"It was Lucas laughing that woke me up,"
*damn*
wow original and funny comment!
@@zvezdan956 I didn’t even see other comments like this
@@notawamen2311 no its the comment of someone quoting something from the video with no added commentary
Sometimes the content sells itself and the commenter only intends to highlight parts they feel stood out. Nothing wrong with that. Pretty sure everyone with an education used a highlighter before.
@@machninety7334 u dont use a highlighter in school to get likes
I love how she says “But you didn’t listen to him, did you?” In such an adoring voice lmao
Fake doe
@@kSubscribersWithoutVideo-qg3qr no shit
10k Subscribers Without Videos Challenge no shit
@@kSubscribersWithoutVideo-qg3qr yeah, that's what satire is
@@kSubscribersWithoutVideo-qg3qr no shit
It’s been 15 years. He is still out there
💀💀
@@raphelw52out in prison?!
Kyle Rittenhouse
He’s now 23…
Luigi?
“It was Lucas laughing that woke me up”
Absolutely put me in tears
8 shots with a rifle: Sleeps
Lucas lauging: Wait a minute...!
That's not even funny. The kids acting was funny. Simpleton.
@@WingsOfAgeOfConsent
🤓🤨
@@Fedico7000 not here to conversate man
@@WingsOfAgeOfConsent Obviously not your strong point 💀
Imagine how Home Alone would've been with this kid?
LMAOOOO
DED
Shorter
Andrew Farren At one point Kevin in Home Alone uses like a bee bee gun, this kid wouldn't
Andrew Farren Rated R
I like how they treat normal guests like they're weird and treat weird guests like they're normal. 😂
That's new for ya
What are you talking about, that's what normal kids born from demonic rituals do this days, nothing out of the norm there
the lil kid said "i love the blood" the kid is a fucking psychopath😂
@A K ik
@A K did i say i was being serious?🤣
this whole segment is hilarious but the "worlds oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday" at the end hit me square in the jaw LMFAO
ME TOOOO
BROOO I'M SO GLAD THAT SOMEONE MENTIONED THAT. fr had me on the floor
The part before that………. “Your pet might be a CIA mole”
Helen Mirren doesn't exist?
Underrated
I know everyone is talking about the kid's acting, but the dad's acting is cracking me up. He's so proud lol.
I love how they begin more subtly, making it a wierd but at that point still somewhat credible story and then they gradually get wilder and more outrages, until at some point all doubt of wether this could be real or gone. The strange thing is that it is hard to determine where in this story that point is.
I got 100th like
That’s not difficult, all Americans are like that for real, so over enthusiastic about any everything they talk about
@@garylock2012 "All Americans" ok buddy
Acting? What makes you think he was acting? Kid's a psycho.
"I want the blood."
"..... well, he's gettin a little shy now"
Yeah, I heard that part.
How do you even respond that, on live tv?
Lol
899th like
lol this kids so dark lamo
"I want the blood....."
"..... Weeeell, he's getting a little shy now."
😂😂😂
I want blood
You know how people joke about the quiet kid..?
LMFAOOOO😂😂😂😂😂
That guy is perhaps my favorite actor. He completely nails it with everything.
I want an R-rated, horror-version of Home Alone staring this kid
There was a Christmas horror movie called I think "better watch out" where the kid is a psychopath
This should be the new home alone,instead of the cringefest there putting out there now!
You're welcome: ruclips.net/video/ZgLqxSPIhR0/видео.html
Go check out Corridor Digital they've made Rated R Home Alone
Starring*
Diary of a Wimpy kid deleted scene
XDDD
I saw a missing poster for Fregley
Stanified He DOES look like manny omg
the last stand
Still better than the new film.
NOT the screaming, NOT the GUNSHOTS, but it was the LAUGHING that woke Mr. Armitage up. This is comedy genius.
Legomax18 oop
Issues 😳
Legomax18 wait this isn’t real?
@@womblowbobble1139 nope, this is the onion so everything is satire
@@porkostar1 did you actually think this was real?
my son also shot a burglar just last week, he was 63 and screaming all kinds of crazy stuff like
''where am I?'' and ''Can you help me get home?'', I've never been more proud!
Damn u old
@@TheBfutgreg lmao
@@TheBfutgreg learn to read kid he said the other person was 63 LOL kids are so dumb
@@TheBfutgreg The burglar is 63, asshole
lol y'all funny
I feel so bad for like a sweet old lady who stumbles upon this and thinks it’s real 😭
@@IambiguousSegment what is rittenhouse?
Thank god this is fake
@@IambiguousSegment To compare this kid to Rittenhouse is laughable, you delusional leftist.
@@IambiguousSegment This is absolutely nothing like Rittenhouse bro
Omg I thought about that too lol
All I’m saying is that they never actually caught the zodiac killer
oh shit...
LMAO NOOO
Hold on.....
Fair point
Onion comments are always almost just as good as the video what the hell
‘It was Lucas laughing that woke me up, I had never heard the kid laugh so much’ 😂😂
I literally was right at that part and laughing as I found your comment. Perfect haha
Harry oo
@@MiniM69 and don't break a sweat doing it
@@MiniM69 if he fail the first 9 week test he shooting it up the very next day
0:40 so said burglar looked hungry. Meaning that it was potentially a homeless man stealing out of desperation. That thought just makes this whole ordeal waaaaay worse
Bro what? 💀
you know this is a joke right?
Bro they are praising a murderer
"Actually it was Lucas laughing that woke me up" 😂
Exactly it wasn't the loud ahh gunshot😭😭but still why is the kid laughing
@@andrebennett2729 be a sadist and youll understand
I spit out my drink when I heard that
@@andrebennett2729 its definitely not a normal reaction
The delivery on that line was perfect
"World's oldest attractive woman turns 48"
I love the old Onion.
Donnie Pendleton the real news has become so crazy that the onion can’t compete XD
That j.lo
SpaseGoast o
Is this real?!
Technically, it could be true for Asians.
“why would he change his shirt, thats his honor shirt.” “i like the blood..”
Want*
I read this comment the exact time I heard it
ReasonedTwo130 Why do you idiots keep quoting what the video says? We all watched it
Captions say "wanted"
@@Donnie-sg2cj fuck off asshole
I like how the kids face was so dead and expressionless in the "happy" photos with his family
All these actors deserve so much more recognition. They breathe such personality into these small roles, it’s incredible how they make these skits come to life!
people keep talking about "actors"
are you guys commenting on the right videos? this is a news channel jesus christ
I was just thinking how much of a darling is the female host. She gets it down to the t
@@chad4921 😐
I made your comment 999 uwu
@@henryfink5348 Today now is a parody show
"It was a burglar, wasn't it Lucas? He was trying to steal things?"
"He looked hungry."
dude... lmao
how are there no comments on this?
@@thesansabasong-bird6947white people
@@thesansabasong-bird6947 Because when whites break in it's to buy more heroin
@@thesansabasong-bird6947 ?
@@birdsayshello how are there comments on this
That dad is the stand out actor here. Those looks of sweet endearment and humility.
His cheeks even go red. That's acting.
"Why would he change his shirt? It's his honor shirt." Daddy Jack
they're all great honestly
FlickerFlame oof
His dad looks like Caitlyn Jenner
Unirocally one of the best acting i've seen from a kid
Acting?
@@huyxiun2085yeah, it's satire
Woosh @@teovezavrzlame5959
@@teovezavrzlame5959 That's the joke.
@@teovezavrzlame5959No it's 100% real
"I like the way the blood makes me feel" I actually cried laughing, this is amazing
When comedy wasnt censored it made it so much better. If this video was made now twitter would have CPS at the kids parents house for even allowing him to be a part of the video. Comedy mostly sucks now aside from the few that just don’t give a fuck anymore.
You know, blood makes me feel alive.
I feel a little dry without it.
Future school shooter. You better watch out.
Starts heading to the school*
@@NovemberFoxtrotRC Bro, twitter freely does r@pe, pedophilic and ect content and jokes regularly. Twitter is epitome of dark humor. Thet are polarised, though. This type* of humor is nothing to them
Edit: typo
“Six of burglar’s teeth were found inside his own stomach”
That is horrific
He only got six? Those are rookie numbers, I can do better.
Nah, see, only rookies go for the stomach. If you a pro you can get them to come out the butt. We call it shitin teeth. Around here we get together and see who can get the most teeth out. We been running out of neighbors for recent though.
Lol with the headline "Daily Inspiration"
@@pikaboy70 LMAORUIFHERUIFGHE
This kid is a hero
The child actors they get for The Onion are elite
@Queue Kumber oh shii
Tbh all of their actors are really good. Seriously where do they keep finding these people and how come they aren't on TV right now?
Wdym actors. This isn’t fake, it’s a completely real news show after all, trusted by millions to deliver the facts when no one else will!
/s
@@bulldozer8950 yes it is. I trust this more than anything else
Hello Travis
"He wouldn't stop talking, so then I shot his jaw off."
What goes through my mind when a customer stops me on my way to clock out to ask a question
So you’re a sick person who works at a grocery store or something
I see a lot of "I can't believe how many people took this seriously" comments, but I can't seem to find the people who supposedly took it seriously.
Broken M90 you have to sort the comments "Newest first" instead of showing only "top comments"
Yeah, it's becuse you're looking at the most likd comments, which are from people who get it.
@@SiisKolkytEuroo That is a sad commentary on how much more braindead people are becoming. It's like people can't look beyond the face value of anything that has a professional look these days.
It's kinda sad how many commercials I see on TV these days with a guy in a white coat that has a stethoscope around his neck and in the fine print it says hes a paid actor/spokesman.
Yet oddly enough half of the legit videos of crazy stuff that happens with evidence to back it up is called fake because it's a clip uploaded to a site like RUclips.
This craziness is what allows celebrities to cause antivaxer movements and weak tenuous connections between visual observations from naive idiots to cause flattards. It's like we are devolving into jello headed morons.
@@ExceedingRectified i found one. it's yours
You just have to sort comments by newest first
He is now 20 years old, he will never forget this in his life.
Anndddd... he got sentenced life for Massacring a preschool
@@eileencarr2895 you know you can edit RUclips comments right?
@@CutTheVioletWire yea just forgot lol
8 + 14 = 22
@@thnx
That's right, cool maths.
He'd be 21 though.
This kid is gonna grow up into a great painter. Look how artistically he smeared the blood!
Hmm I dunno, I feel like he's specifically going to fail art school at age 18 then come into power of a military by age 43?
xVᴄ.iᴅ yeah I thought that too
Hopefully he doesn’t plan on taking over the world and tortures other races for existing
Fingers crossed he makes it into art school
And if he fails?
@@multiversalman4270 Then God help us all. Last time someone insane didn’t get into art school they became Hitler.
I love how the dad is trying his best not to break character
2:00 "Lucas Says He Hopes More Burglars Break In So He Can Stop Them With Dad's Power Drill" is so underrated
wait until he discovers daddy's chainsaw
put this future man in juvie
@@flextape467 more like life without parole holy shit💀
Why the fuck have you started every word with a capital?
@@markfox1545 because that's what it said in the video
The onion is my favourite source for news it’s reliable and speaks the truth
me too it's so honest and it's just overall real
They're never afraid of the facts, and they always say it how it is.
You watching this: *DEW IT!*
This is the only true neutral news show
Get the fuck away Palpatine, your not wanted here, your not the senate
home alone 6
a short film
Nathaniel Snider wait there’s a home alone 5? I know about 1-4 but
@@purpleperson7113 there's a five its not with the same characters but it does exist
Nathaniel Snider good golly-
@@purpleperson7113 good golly is correct
Rated R
This aged unreasonably well
"Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dad's power drill" LMAO 😂😂
for real these slides have me deaddds asf
thats fucked up
That´s fucking metal
this kid would love hotline miami lmao
@@archie.mc25 you don’t understand the old internet
You can't fool me Today Now, I know my pet is just a regular mole
I dont even XD
Comrade Whiskers must return to the motherland
This would explain the digging, she outgrew the nest and was kicked out but knows where all the tunnels are.
She's trying to exact revenge on her subterranean tormentors/estranged family.
0:34 “I take it out a lot. Sometimes I just look at it.”
He _just_ looks at it _sometimes,_ implying he does more most times…
Even from such a young age, he works himself to the bone every day! Truly an admirable, larger-than-life hero!
he's such a psychopath
...
@@HalfLife-hq8eu its a joke if you couldn't tell
@@cultofsucc5807 i indeed can
...
1:45 okay , that had me cracking up just the picture of the family with the dialogue
I’m surprised this kid didn’t grow up to be any actor we know. Subtle creepiness is hard to pull off especially as a child. I want the blood 😂😂😂
He does do a very good job here 😂
Not too hard to nail if you're ACTUALLY A PSYCHOPATH
Anyone know his real name?
he kind of gives me vibes of that guy in the office, with dark circles half of the time, new guyish, dark brown hair, think his name was tony or smt? i don’t really watch that show
Mina thinking of ryan howard by any chance?
Kid: I want the blood.
Interviewer: WELLLLL.....
Hadyn Hoggatt and the dead stare
ESPECIALLY dark when you have seen the "Interviewer" travel across America trying a bunch of PORK dishes... what a dark ending...
"Jim Haggerty Porks The USA! -- Porkin' Across America" ruclips.net/video/PwQns6vGfj4/видео.html
💀💀💀💀💀💀
Haha haha funny as shit
This is just wrong. The kid shot the fingers off? He should have used a pair of pruning shears and it would haven't disfigured them as much. That way the finger necklace would be pristine.
Shy Guy well, he knew where the gun was not the pruning shears.....
He just needs more practice.
Meyouroo you know that comment was a joke
Is it bad that I genuinely would've done this if someone broke into my house, excluding the finger mutilation
@@mu2k499 double woosh
This shit still holds up 15 years later 😂
People still crying about it... it pops up on my feed every few years and I keep coming back for the comments
The fucking sub header beneath the kid. “Lucas snapped burglar’s elbows so he couldn’t reach for the weapon” cracks me the fuck up everytime
There’s another great one under the kid at 2:01 . It says “Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with Dad’s power drill” 😂 Jesus Christ
@@shelbylynn9 the poor bastards coming in
world's oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday lmfao!
Vexivero So true lmao sad reality
Vexivero So true lmao, sad reality
Name?
Yo, you ever heard of Helen Mirren? Always has looked amazing for her age! But in general yes it's true
Vexivero they’re commenting on misogynistic beauty ideals for aging women
"Must've been fun getting that award at school, right? An-"
"I want the blood"
"Well, he's getting a little shy now"
He wants the blood
Just give him the blood
Reporters ki fatt gyi.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
As a European, this is how my parents would describe the US when I was a kid.
but isn't this exactly what America is like. Violent and crazy, with leaders that are either invalids or convicts
As an American, I can tell you only some of this is satire and it's up to you to find out which parts.
Strange place Europe must be then..believing anything they hear
@@georgegonzalez5977 we don't have guns in England so we don't know. i have never seen a real gun.
@@heavens-and-earth Statistically you have 4.6 firearms per 100 people.
"I wanted the blood."
"Weeelll he's gotten a little shy now."
Not only are the actors who play the hosts amazing, but every guest knocks it out of the park, even when they're only 8!
actors?
@@EMPEROR_SINSome people don't get a joke smh
He's not 40,000 years old
@@Rex_Nichts lol
@Starry Eyes still the kids. If you value someone else’s things over your life, we’ll also value our things over your life.
"World's Oldest Attractive Woman Celebrates 48th Birthday" That's brutal...
It's not meant to be brutal. It's satire; it's pointing out our prejudices
wahahahahahahaha
@@0SilentStone0 Just pointing out reality.
@@robertjensen1048 Yeah, the reality is that people are prejudiced against old people.
@@thenablade858 Naaaah, just against old females. 😅
“it’s his honor shirt” “i want the blood” 💀💀💀
😂😂
Blood for the blood god!!!!
I love how the "I want the blood" just slips in there between other lines with the perfect clandestine tone that it makes it all the more ominous.🤣😂
@@Dr.Madd138SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
"Well..."
"We didn't see any signs"
I love how the dad looks legitimately happy, excited, and supportive. haha
That smirk at the end gets me everytime
Lmao
it's like he's waiting for the next burglar
666 likes
"He started crying, so I shot him in the back." "He wouldn't stop talking so I shot his jaw!" "I like the way the blood makes me feel!" "I want the blood."
10k Subscribers with no videos challenge wait what?? i thought the onion was a reputable news source!
10k Subscribers with no videos challenge
Darn it! I never would have thought The Onion would lie! The betrayal!
10k Subscribers with no videos challenge You’re a sub beggar, dumbass
@@kSubscribersWithoutVideo-qg3qr I know you weren't talking to me but I responded anyway. Nothing you can do about that
10k Subscribers with no videos challenge Look! The beggar called someone a dumbass. You can all laugh now 😂
I swear Onion had the best acting instructors and casting managers in the history of television...crazy
Wait this dad slept through multiple gunshots? Lucas is not only a hero for killing a burglar but for waking his father from a coma
Eric Miret
I'm the kid in this video you are correct
LOL
Brick Wall o
Lmaoooooooooooo
How tf is Lucas a hero ? The fuckin dude put his hands up yet he still shot him with pure enjoyment!! And shot his jaws off ? For WHAT ?!?! Nigga could’ve just called his dad or the cops, that kid put that dude thru hell like wtf wrong wit u white people.. no one deserves to die like that
"It's the weakest part of the skull, that's right" lol
"Well how did you manage to do that, Lucas?"
"Either you shoot at the temples and pull down, or you shoot at the side of the skull wall."
Wait, so he's done this more than once?
@@summerskull9379 it's called deer hunting
@@bananasrotate7821 no.its not
@@The-Evil-Pangolin if you watch the video, it shows pictures of his and his dad's hunting trip. That's probably where he left all that.
The awkward silence after the kid says "I want the blood" is gold
It's like they finally reliazied the kid might not be normal
Funny how there's always people who think the onion's skits are real, some people are truly special
Well, stupidity is an incurable genetic trait of homosapiens.
I can't blame them. Nowaday, reality is as insane as their skits now...
The burglar was an absolute tank to have survived as much as he did before dying.
nah you can survive a few minutes with that damage
@@yoursleepparalysisdemon1828uh..per.. personal experience?
but stay conscious?
Genius from start to finish. I especially love the condescending-but-not-listening attitude of the presenters.
This is like one of those horrifying dreams where you're the only one that sees something wrong with the situation.
You're entering the twilight zone
LITERALLY. the way this kid is talking, he sounds like a serial killer. he said it himself the man looked HUNGRY, he even pleaded with him not to shoot and the kid seemed pleased with himself. thatis a psychopath in the making
@@COMMODOOSA holy shit thank you for for clarifying 😂 i know it’s dumb but I actually thought this is how Americans raised their kids for a second!
The dad smiling and nodding like his kid is talking about pitching a no hitter is what kills me.
When I originally clicked on this video, I thought it said “burger” instead of burglar and was really confused when I started watching and waiting for them to mention the burger before I reread the title.
Thank god for Lucas. I’m so glad he’s grown up to be such a fantastic police officer!
He's really cut down the counties stray dog population. And whatever his homelessness solution is, it has been working! He said in 10 years he "shall ascend to the presidency" and an NRA spokeswoman said they can't wait to endorse him!
Welcome back to "Spot the Libtard" with our special guest Libtard Logan!
true lmao
@@mellohi6175 And the way he refuses all paychecks? So generous.
He's just a good old fashioned family man. Can't get much better than that! Everyday, the children and the wife line up at the front of the house awaiting their daily beating upon his arrival!
"But you didn't listen to him, did you? :)"
what a hero
Oconachar I hope you’re being sarcastic
@@lilirodriguez8851 you dont think what that kid did took bravery?
Remy Martin It wasn’t bravery. Bravery is doing something for good even though you’re afraid to. This was only a desire to hurt someone. One gun shot would have been understandable as defense but the rest of the injuries were only to keep causing him pain even though he was already defenseless after the first shot.
@@lilirodriguez8851 r/atetheonion
“ I want the blood..” *awkward long pause* “WElLlL” 😭💀
ahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's just shy
I put this video on my watchlist thinking it was real. I clicked on it thinking it was real. I watched it thinking it was real. I. Left. TRAUMATIZED. Than I looked at who made it.
sounds like youre terrible at media consumption
@@theendofthestart8179 How did you guess?
I'm fairly convinced that this is still the best video on the internet.
Corey, do you have an Honor Shirt, too?
I never let them get that close.
Surely you go and pick over the carcass.
Fingers and ears don't have that much blood.
Attaboy.
“I like the way the blood makes me feel”
“Oh ho! And the school gave you a special courage medal!”
Every student needs to get a medal for participation.
If he didnt get that he would of shot them too
Why doesn't Santa exist?
*_Because this kid woke up when Santa was eating cookies._*
Damn so that's why! I specifically asked for a non-CIA mole pet tsk.
The National Rifle Association also gave Lucas a Lifetime membership.
The kid’s all grown up now and living a productive life in my town. It’s weird how he always dumps a whole bunch of cherry cobbler into the trash right after I stop hearing from one of my neighbors, though.
Yeah. I heard firecracker-like sounds from his backyard on Halloween, and my friend (in the backyard) perfectly replicated a dead body, even going as far as making it look like he was decapitated.
He was put in my garbage can, he's still giving me the silent treatment.
@@1actose Man, some people...
@@srbrant5391 yeah.
@@1actose Is he still quiet?
The fact that people still comment thinking this is real makes me so happy
It is hilarious when people get so serious
No they don't. The only "serious" comments are just people "playing along" but without a grasp on humour.
I was a hotel manager at Hilton and showed the breakfast lady that this just came on the news she freaked out lol.
Me too
I always look for these comments but never find them
“Six of burglar’s teeth found inside his own stomach.” Ha ha priceless.
"Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dad's power drill" 😂😂😂
This kid's acting is WAY too good. Holy shit this is terrifying.
“Lucas says that he hopes that more burglars would brake in so he can stop them with his dad power drill “
That had me dying 😂😂😂💀💀💀
BREAK in!
This video is going viral on twitter right now... incoming people who actually think it’s real
True
Wait it’s fake
You probably thought it was too, but you read the comments, figured it out after looking it up on youtube and here you are now
Instagram meme pages also post it now ans 90% of comments think it's real 😂
its real wdym very heroic boy
Should've went with
Show host: "Lucas you didn't even change your shirt before you got your award!"
Dad: "Oh he did, that's a different shirt"
Haha that would be good.
WTF haha yes
From when the the neighbors Chihuahua got into his shed And trapped him
Now that's good.
🤣🤣
Trying to explain to people TODAY that this is satire from the onion IS WILD. It’s on IG right now and I’m like “ Cmon y’all… you can’t tell this isn’t real??!” Now That’s scary.
Of course, Instagram wouldn't get this
I think people are less skeptical now for some reason. Pretty much everything medical I've seen from IG is a complete lie, yet everyone seems to gobble it up.
idk why everyone is laughing,we need to get this boy some help,it took him all those shots just to kill 1 man
great! now that's a good cause,finally the church helping out kids
trashy10 thank god this is so real
The video is fake dude.
trashy10 ik and the guy was just hungry
Mr.cornbreadsauce read the guy’s comment carefully. He’s making a joke...
yo this kid is an amazing actor look at his eyes and body language throughout
@Fabian Leiva That's because it isn't acting >;)
Fabian Leiva that’s bc he ain’t acting bruv haha
he isnt acting
@@chelseakirra20 this isn't real, it's all acting, every bit of it
@@ynwl-e4b you should learn wtf the onion is
"World's Oldest Attractive Woman Celebrates 48th Birthday" Ouch right in the gut
No one talking about "worlds oldest attractive women celebrates 48th birthday" LMAO
“Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dads power drill.” That’s how true American heroes are born.
I read the title as "Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burger"
Edit: I think i was just really hungry...
This sentence is more American than this video
Same lmao
This made me laugh more than it should’ve
Yeah the title is wrong heroically? More like brutally
@@Masonjason43 thats the joke genius.
“Lucas says he hopes more burglars break in so he can stop them with his dad’s power drill” :o
@@unworthy1582 Obviously its from the oinion (The most well known parody news website)
@@unworthy1582 it's real bro. Dont let these foos make you think otherwise. This is all over the news
Worlds oldest attractive woman celebrates 48th birthday 😭😭 cmon man
Never heard of a 35 year old lying about being older before.
Gun safety isn't to protect children it's to protect burglars
Billy was here
Bob was here
mustafa hassan kry was here
Kry Trump here
What’s up guys scarce here
1:04 I love how the adults start talking to each other while the kid just talks about this “experience” like a soldier with ptsd or something 😂
Nicely said
@HumanPerson conflating child soldiers with sociopaths tells me that you're full of shit.
@@wrarmatei
When did he conflate them?
The connection point was the ptsd, not the sociopathy.
Try reading more carefully before responding. 🤦
I sure wish people would quit using the word "fake" when it comes to satire.
People, satire isn't "fake," and it isn't meant to "fool" anyone. It's 100% REAL satire. Jesus.
fhhh No, it's satire. Learn the difference.
Dan Williams and satire is fake... learn the difference
Ictus Satire isn't fake, you idiot. It's satire. For something to be fake, it has to be trying to pass as the real thing in order to fool people. Satire isn't trying to fool people into believing it's real, it's just trying to satirize things.
Sure, some people are idiots and THINK it's real, but let's not let idiots determine how we define concepts.
Dan Williams no it’s real y funny
I am Sekou You should shut the fuck up moron, he's right. Satire is an art form where fake news is news that's perpetuating false information under the pretense of that information being factual. It's like saying that inglorious bastards is propaganda when it's just a movie.
Even the damn title had me laughing before I watched.
holy shit nvm this video is metal as fuck
They had to find a creepy-ass little boy for this role. Well, they sure found him-straight from Stephen King's imagination.
"So it was the screaming that woke you up?"
"No,no it was Lucas's laughing actually"
Rite... laughter heard rather than the gun shots... really???
I love how supportive the dad is.
Its fake look up the onion to see thats its all a joke
@@ryans9103 i know its fake nigga
@@ryans9103 Really Ryan?...........
@@ryans9103 Kinda..I only say kinda because self defense is a Right and there is no age limit on a Right. As exemplified not too long ago actually. XP
@redneckhippiefreak this is the onion its a satire skit.. look them up you'll see.
only just now did i notice the “sometimes i just look at it” when he’s talking about taking out the gun. he’s killed before, this is just the first time he’s been able to talk about it