As a 8 year old boy, surviving my satanic mothers abuse, truth equaled certain death, lies and deception equalled peace and safety, and from that point forward, authenticity vanished from my life journey, recovery has been unlearning for one, learned or conditioned helplessness, and despair. Thanks for making this video, your articulating and putting a voice to very dark painful fearful and paralyslzing facts of my life journey, emotionally paralyzed at age 8, from that time forward survival was all that mattered
Drudgery and boredom is actually a good thing. No news is good news. Be grateful things are going smooth. Go with the flow. Drama will kill you in the end. Stress does kill.
You always have the answers I need when I can't even come up with the question. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into fitting the pieces together for us.
Thank you do much for the work you do. My journey has been built and is being fortified by your teachings. I am learning so much about me and my life through your lessons. It took 61 years to find you. God’s timing is mysterious for sure.
better late then never! I will be 61 this Feb, where have all the years gone? I have been walking this journey for 30 years, this info on CPTSD is where its at!!! I have been in and out of therapy for almost 30 years and not until Abba led me to the info on CPTSD did all my responses to numb out the shame from childhood multiple DV relationships and marriages, etc make sense.
The whole time i thought I was dumb, gullible, stupid, slow, WEAK. Thank you for explaining WHY or at least PART of why my life took the turns it did. Thank You for helping me realize that im.not INFERIOR or D AMAGED. Im.not stupid either. I'm easily manipulated because I keep thinking its all.based on luck. I always kept trying and I didn't give up, though I wanted to. My expectations were unrealistic. Im glad I stayed for The Christian Part!
The adjectives to describe my appreciation for your insight and validation may not yet have been created, so a 'thank you' will have to suffice for now. Bless you.
This channel has been eye opening to say the least. I don't know how to stop hating my own existence from how I was mistreated growing up. I see to late how everything I was taught was wrong; there's no do-overs or a reset button to fix my faulty blueprint. What little validation I recieved was from doing stuff for others, if I'm not making someone else's life easier/better by not having any needs, I'm worthless. I wished I grew up in a loving family then maybe everything wouldn't hurt so bad. I'm still being punished everyday for having/showing emotions; I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel.
Tim Thank you! From the bottom of my heart thank you. You have shown me the many, many answers to questions that have never been answered. Praying for God to continue to use you! !
I love your stuff ! However sometimes it gets to overwhelming because you hit so hard at so many places I have to take breaks to process everything ! However your videos have helped me more than therapist ever could . It feels so liberating when I'm apply to apply your teaching to my life and use them . U have helped me more than u will ever know❤❤
Two forms of lies, gaslighting and projection are major problems in our modern society. There is this cultist mentality to not be yourself and adopt the group's belief system in politics, science, religion, food, clothing, entertainment, etc.
That's very accurate about core shame. It's one of the most devastating lies my parents have ingrained in me. Whenever someone express any genuine fondness to me, I immediately get scared and sometimes repulsed by the person. I have pushed good people away all my life because I was told not to trust them and chased after anyone who rejected me and was all around bad news. Another lie that is affecting my life till now is that I'm an academic failure and I'll never amount to anything and that my sisters are both smarter than I'll ever be. I would get punished sometimes for having better grades than my older sister whether by her or by my father, I wasn't allowed to say that math was enjoyable or learning another language is actually fun that would mean I'm just gloating and lieing. It also didn't help that school wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. I stopped doing good in school and ended up dropping out of 4 different programs because I could never comprehend what any of the lecturers were saying and I just went on to believe for 11 years that I seriously have brain damage and I even went to a neurologist 2 years ago who confirmed that there is nothing wrong with my brain. Whenever I start any program I'm paralyzed by fear and I ruin it for myself. I would allow myself to display ability but then bail as soon as I feel like I got the hang of it. I never allow myself anything good and I wasn't even slightly aware that I've doing this consistently for years untill recently. I'm honestly scared of what I'm still oblivious to.
I had binge eating disorder ever since I was 10, it was my only source of comfort next to sucking my thumb! If it weren't for having several Stellate Ganglion Blocks I would still be binging and disassociating. I lost around 100lbs without dieting! I finally knew when I was hungry and when I was full. Your videos are always so spot on! Thanks Tim!
My parents divorced when I was 7. My mom always told me my dad left us and divorced her. She never had a nice thing to say about him, and tried to get me to hate him. She even ruined my wedding day because she would be seeing my dad with his girlfriend, even though she was there with her boyfriend! I'm 58 now, back in 2018 I had been caring for my dad in an in-law apartment we built for him and it is attached to our house. 3 months before my dad died on 4/2/918, my mom was over for a visit and took me aside and confessed to me that she had lied. She was the one who kicked my dad out of our house and she divorced him! Talk about lies! I was devastated. I knew she was manipulative, but I never took her at her word again. I almost didn't have a relationship with my father because of all the mean things she told me. I've been no contact with her since 2020. I started having flashbacks after the lockdowns to when she would leave me alone for hours while she was at work and then hours while she went out on dates because she always had to have a man in her life and her life came before mine. 😭
@@Lyrielonwind 12% of the population smokes cigarettes. Over 90% of the population eats apples, or for that matter, potato chips. Which one do you see more on the side of the road? Apple cores and empty potato chip bags? Or cigarette butts. You're not crazy. Quitting cigarettes is HARD. Cigarettes are one of the drugs with the highest ratio of dependence to pleasure of any drug.
This kind goeth but by prayer and fasting .... Speaking from experience, deliverance from food addiction is possible . And every aspect of life changing.
Lies .lies..my guardians were liars. I lied easily growing up and into adulthood ...truthful people were never in my circles. I used to avoid them but even when I lied my gut always told me that's not good.
I just found out today that complex ptsd came in force for the World Health Organization on January first 2022 under the criteria stated in the International Disease Classification 11 but it is not in the DSM-5 yet. Maybe it might sounds irrelevant but I think is not, it's important because it means there's not much awarement about complex trauma which usually comes from childhood trauma. For me that means too many people prefer looking at their kids like long life property.
The longer I live the more certain I become in the truth that "god" is not at all what we want or believed him to be. That god is actually not real, just a fictional character that we want to believe in. If he was real then he is actually the epitome of true evil in this world. A being powerful enough to create life, orchestrate this world, and create the situations in it... who obviously chooses to torture some of us, beginning in infancy through death. While simultaneously rewarding those who perpetrate evil upon the innocent. A real "nice" guy... these biblical stories just further illustrate how truly evil this world and therefore "god" is.
The only hope we have is reconciliation to God. Once you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit- He will lead you into greater and greater truths...and you will see instead of what you accuse Him of- He's actually incredibly patient, kind righteous and HOLY... His Son was not joking when He said "Take my yoke for it is light" it most certainly is when surrender to Him... it's the arcing up of the flesh that causes the disdain, blaming, accusations... John 3:5-8 John 14:6 John 14:27
As a 8 year old boy, surviving my satanic mothers abuse, truth equaled certain death, lies and deception equalled peace and safety, and from that point forward, authenticity vanished from my life journey, recovery has been unlearning for one, learned or conditioned helplessness, and despair.
Thanks for making this video, your articulating and putting a voice to very dark painful fearful and paralyslzing facts of my life journey, emotionally paralyzed at age 8, from that time forward survival was all that mattered
Coming out of complex trauma has taught me to be a seeker of the truth.
This man needs to be honoured with a legacy hope to do that to help people
Drudgery and boredom is actually a good thing. No news is good news. Be grateful things are going smooth. Go with the flow. Drama will kill you in the end. Stress does kill.
You always have the answers I need when I can't even come up with the question. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into fitting the pieces together for us.
Thank you do much for the work you do. My journey has been built and is being fortified by your teachings. I am learning so much about me and my life through your lessons. It took 61 years to find you. God’s timing is mysterious for sure.
Thank you from another person well into her 60’s (well, pushing 70). I’m looking forward to the next couple of months of your teachings.
better late then never! I will be 61 this Feb, where have all the years gone? I have been walking this journey for 30 years, this info on CPTSD is where its at!!! I have been in and out of therapy for almost 30 years and not until Abba led me to the info on CPTSD did all my responses to numb out the shame from childhood multiple DV relationships and marriages, etc make sense.
I know you wrote your comment three years ago. I just want to say I have found this channel and I'm 61 years old now...coincidences?
The whole time i thought I was dumb, gullible, stupid, slow, WEAK. Thank you for explaining WHY or at least PART of why my life took the turns it did. Thank You for helping me realize that im.not INFERIOR or D
AMAGED. Im.not stupid either. I'm easily manipulated because I keep thinking its all.based on luck. I always kept trying and I didn't give up, though I wanted to. My expectations were unrealistic. Im glad I stayed for The Christian Part!
The adjectives to describe my appreciation for your insight and validation may not yet have been created, so a 'thank you' will have to suffice for now. Bless you.
I must say that you have great intellect on this complex situation pastor Tim and I know you are helping many people. Thank you!
This channel has been eye opening to say the least. I don't know how to stop hating my own existence from how I was mistreated growing up. I see to late how everything I was taught was wrong; there's no do-overs or a reset button to fix my faulty blueprint. What little validation I recieved was from doing stuff for others, if I'm not making someone else's life easier/better by not having any needs, I'm worthless. I wished I grew up in a loving family then maybe everything wouldn't hurt so bad. I'm still being punished everyday for having/showing emotions; I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel.
I know exactly how you feel ❤
Tim Thank you! From the bottom of my heart thank you. You have shown me the many, many answers to questions that have never been answered. Praying for God to continue to use you! !
I love your stuff ! However sometimes it gets to overwhelming because you hit so hard at so many places I have to take breaks to process everything ! However your videos have helped me more than therapist ever could . It feels so liberating when I'm apply to apply your teaching to my life and use them . U have helped me more than u will ever know❤❤
Two forms of lies, gaslighting and projection are major problems in our modern society. There is this cultist mentality to not be yourself and adopt the group's belief system in politics, science, religion, food, clothing, entertainment, etc.
I'm experiencing more feelings about being alive and glad since iv been hearing tim
As always thank you Pastor Tim.
Thank you Pastor, finally I know that what I'm going through in this recovery process is normal!! God bless you and your Ministry!
He explains so well the fight between the limbic and rational brain 😊
That's very accurate about core shame. It's one of the most devastating lies my parents have ingrained in me. Whenever someone express any genuine fondness to me, I immediately get scared and sometimes repulsed by the person. I have pushed good people away all my life because I was told not to trust them and chased after anyone who rejected me and was all around bad news. Another lie that is affecting my life till now is that I'm an academic failure and I'll never amount to anything and that my sisters are both smarter than I'll ever be. I would get punished sometimes for having better grades than my older sister whether by her or by my father, I wasn't allowed to say that math was enjoyable or learning another language is actually fun that would mean I'm just gloating and lieing. It also didn't help that school wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. I stopped doing good in school and ended up dropping out of 4 different programs because I could never comprehend what any of the lecturers were saying and I just went on to believe for 11 years that I seriously have brain damage and I even went to a neurologist 2 years ago who confirmed that there is nothing wrong with my brain. Whenever I start any program I'm paralyzed by fear and I ruin it for myself. I would allow myself to display ability but then bail as soon as I feel like I got the hang of it. I never allow myself anything good and I wasn't even slightly aware that I've doing this consistently for years untill recently. I'm honestly scared of what I'm still oblivious to.
Learned helplessness 😢
@@Lyrielonwindabusive families train us that way unfortunately
I had binge eating disorder ever since I was 10, it was my only source of comfort next to sucking my thumb! If it weren't for having several Stellate Ganglion Blocks I would still be binging and disassociating. I lost around 100lbs without dieting! I finally knew when I was hungry and when I was full.
Your videos are always so spot on! Thanks Tim!
Interesting procedure
My parents divorced when I was 7. My mom always told me my dad left us and divorced her. She never had a nice thing to say about him, and tried to get me to hate him. She even ruined my wedding day because she would be seeing my dad with his girlfriend, even though she was there with her boyfriend!
I'm 58 now, back in 2018 I had been caring for my dad in an in-law apartment we built for him and it is attached to our house. 3 months before my dad died on 4/2/918, my mom was over for a visit and took me aside and confessed to me that she had lied. She was the one who kicked my dad out of our house and she divorced him! Talk about lies! I was devastated. I knew she was manipulative, but I never took her at her word again. I almost didn't have a relationship with my father because of all the mean things she told me.
I've been no contact with her since 2020. I started having flashbacks after the lockdowns to when she would leave me alone for hours while she was at work and then hours while she went out on dates because she always had to have a man in her life and her life came before mine. 😭
This is GOLD. Thank you sir 🤍
Love this work Tim. So in depth and insightful.
thank you for you pod cast . Iv learned much about CPTSD thank you
for sharing ❤
Thanks
I Value This Resource
Gratitude
I use food . I dont do drugs or use alcohol
me too
I can't quit smoking.
@@Lyrielonwind 12% of the population smokes cigarettes. Over 90% of the population eats apples, or for that matter, potato chips. Which one do you see more on the side of the road? Apple cores and empty potato chip bags? Or cigarette butts.
You're not crazy. Quitting cigarettes is HARD. Cigarettes are one of the drugs with the highest ratio of dependence to pleasure of any drug.
This kind goeth but by prayer and fasting .... Speaking from experience, deliverance from food addiction is possible . And every aspect of life changing.
@@Lyrielonwindinstantly delivered 20 yr pack a day cigarettes , it's a spirit not just addict wired brain...have to deal with both
Lies .lies..my guardians were liars. I lied easily growing up and into adulthood ...truthful people were never in my circles. I used to avoid them but even when I lied my gut always told me that's not good.
I think a Wise Brain needs a well maintained moral.compass, to help guide the judgement and consequences Part of Life..
I just found out today that complex ptsd came in force for the World Health Organization on January first 2022 under the criteria stated in the International Disease Classification 11 but it is not in the DSM-5 yet.
Maybe it might sounds irrelevant but I think is not, it's important because it means there's not much awarement about complex trauma which usually comes from childhood trauma. For me that means too many people prefer looking at their kids like long life property.
When we lie to someone, we are totally disrespecting that person. Remember that..in the end, the Liar disrespects themselves.
Powerful korero thankyou
How am I just now finding this guy 🤦
Bc now is your time 😊
know myself
The longer I live the more certain I become in the truth that "god" is not at all what we want or believed him to be. That god is actually not real, just a fictional character that we want to believe in. If he was real then he is actually the epitome of true evil in this world. A being powerful enough to create life, orchestrate this world, and create the situations in it... who obviously chooses to torture some of us, beginning in infancy through death. While simultaneously rewarding those who perpetrate evil upon the innocent. A real "nice" guy... these biblical stories just further illustrate how truly evil this world and therefore "god" is.
Believe what you want but don't denied freedom of choice.
The only hope we have is reconciliation to God.
Once you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit- He will lead you into greater and greater truths...and you will see instead of what you accuse Him of- He's actually incredibly patient, kind righteous and HOLY...
His Son was not joking when He said "Take my yoke for it is light" it most certainly is when surrender to Him... it's the arcing up of the flesh that causes the disdain, blaming, accusations...
John 3:5-8
John 14:6
John 14:27
All are correct