Pet Sematary is not only a devastating exploration of grief, it's also an effective indictment of instant gratification and taking the easy way out, which the protagonist always seemed to be doing. Looking for an easy out to avoid having to feel the pain and trauma that comes with living. Granted, his particular circumstances were elevated to say the least, but instead of seeing them through, he tried to find a way to restore the past so he wouldn't have to. That cautionary aspect - along with the author's gift for finding the unsettling in the mundane - is why it's my all-time favourite King.
I love your insight about Pet Sematary! That need to have an easy out aligns with his profession as a doctor. The need to fix, repair, and avoid death at all costs. It truly is a masterpiece!
Oh yes, My Dark Vanessa really leaves a big impact! Same level as A Little Life for me! And I hate it when I see reviews saying that it's just trauma p*rn... like? No, this is reality for some people, whether you want to face it or not 😅 Anyway, I am very eager to get to Malazan one day, it sounds like such a life changing reading experience! Thanks for sharing these, I love me some emotional damage hahah 🤣
I want to read A Little Life someday even if it has that interpretation. Poor book! 😅 I'd be very curious to hear your thoughts on Malazan, Esmay! It is emotionally taxing though. 😅❤️
@@Johanna_reads It's one of my favourite non-SFF books, I really hope you 'enjoy' it when you get to it. And I am grateful for the online book community for mentally prepping me and helping me set the right expectations for Malazan. I don't think I would have been ready for a story like that a bit earlier on in my reading journey, so I am just waiting for the right moment now! 🥰
While watching this video the whole lighting of my house went off which was very on point in terms of vibes, but fairly scary 😅! Thank you for the recommendations!!
Hi Johanna. I'm glad to see Pet Sematary on this list, great read. And the profound grief that's explored here is as well written as the more expected horror elements. When I read the book, my younger daughter was about the age of the boy, so... I couldn't help but put myself in Dad's shoes. I'll be reading Blood Meridian before the end of the year, just in time for the holidays... 😂
Hi Bart! I cannot imagine how difficult reading Pet Sematary would be when having small children. It was a powerful book! I actually finished Blood Meridian on Christmas Day last year, and I hope it works for you! 😂
I haven't read his other books yet, but McCarthy's The Road was disturbing enough for me! Absolutely yes to Bakker's Prince of Nothing Trilogy being disturbing. I can see why Dust of Dreams would make your list. The first book that came to mind for me when I saw your thumbnail was Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky -- I read it when I was 17, and it left me depressed for a couple weeks at least. Cheers, Johanna!
Crime and Punishment is one of my mom's favorite books, and given how we both loved Stoner, I'm inclined to read it! I've only read 5 McCarthy books, but he seems to love addressing very similar themes in each one. Thanks, Philip!
Excellent video! I agree that Dust of Dreams was the most disturbing of the Malazan books, although there is another disturbing sequence in the Kharkanas trilogy that may come close to that as well. The Gap Cycle by Stephen Donaldson has very disturbing scenes along the same lines. Both are so well written though, and they really deal with the situations in a very meaningful and respectful way. Take Care!
Great video Johanna! I love the choice of topic. I won’t be reading Pet Semetary. I know several people who were just shattered by it, and I don’t think I want that lol. I didn’t know that McCarthy was an inspiration for Bakker. Though having read the first Prince of Nothing book I’m not surprised lol.
While masterful, I would not recommend Pet Sematary to many readers. It's haunting and harrowing. Yup! The Darkness That Comes Before is all you need to read to know what I mean! There was at least one scene in that book that still strongly disturbs me every time I think about it.
Great video! Some of my most disturbing (and are some of my favorite books this year): I have no mouth & I must scream and a Scanner darkly. The former focuses on a man who cannot die but cannot live because of an entity controlling the world. The latter has heavy drug abuse and what undercover police work can lead to in that world (the author even leave an epilogue listing the people he based the characters on and what mental state they are in at the time of writing).
Great list! Some of the most disturbing books I ever read: When I was 13 I read Clive Barker's Damnation Game and it had scenes that really messed me up. I reread it again recently as an adult and it was less disturbing but there is a serial killer in the story that is still disgusting for me. William Burroughs Naked Lunch messed me up pretty good when I was a teen because I wasn't prepared for the druggy depravity that would be found in it. The Great Ordeal and The Unholy Consult by R Scott Bakker were books I couldn't put down because they were so good and would read them until 4am. I was plagued with terrifying nightmares that woke me up shaking, every night, during the duration of me binging them.
I can't remember if it was in Ordeal or Consult but there it has been the only book I had to put down and walk away for a few minutes. Bakker went full anime.
Wow! I've been wanting to get to Clive Barker's horror for a while now. I read a young adult book by him when I was much younger, The Thief of Always, so it would be interesting to experience such a contrast with the same author. I'm looking forward to reading Aspect Emperor, but I would be much less pleasant if I stayed up reading that until 4 a.m.! Haha!
@Johanna_reads Barker drifted away from horror. In the prologue to a new edition of his Books of Blood he said he just didn't have it in him. I really did like Thief of Always as it is more creepy than horrors if I recall. Books of Blood are short stories that can hit or miss. His Will B Gone is almoat funny as it is about a demon trapped in the book trying to get you the reader to burn it.
Hi. Thanks for making this video. I appreciate your perspective on this topic. My Dark Vanessa was such an impactful read for me and it surprises me when it's not mentioned as often in "disturbing" book lists. I like it when books get under my skin because I think to be stirred is to evoke positive change and greater compassion. I think those who deny the darkness have more difficulty facing reality, but I don't necessarily think that facing reality is a requirement of people in the modern world. Essentially, I could write an essay about my thougts on this. Instead, I just subscribed lol. : )
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! Sorry for the late response. For some reason, RUclips hid this from me, and it just showed up in my "Held for review" section. I couldn't not mention My Dark Vanessa, and that's an interesting point about the modern world being set up to avoid facing reality. Thanks again!
I always recommend The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock to McCarthy fans. He's similarly bleak and writes the most abhorrent characters. Bastard out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison is heartbreaking. Based off the author's own childhood. It's so brutal but made all the darker for the moments of love and hope. Betty by Tiffany McDaniel is probably the most disturbing book I've ever read. It's based off the author's grandmother. It's such a powerful story about sisterhood, racism, SA, a complex mother, a fantastic father/daughter relationship and such moments of love and beauty that when the darkness comes it is truly worse than any horror I've read. There's palpable dread hanging over the happy moments because you know they can't last. I recommend skipping chapter 26 as it has terrible animal abuse and it really doesn't add anything to the story.
Thank you so much for the recommendations! This is the second Betty recommendation I've received on this video, and it's a book I've been wanting to read for a while. That does sound disturbing while tackling important issues.
I knew nothing about Bakker. Never heard of content, went into it on someone's recommendation. Read it all, immediately restarted it and read it again. It absolutely blew me away. I want to revisit it once I'm done with Malazan (almost done with Toll atm). It's not a series I can recommend to people because it's so dark but it's brilliant.
Yes, then you totally get it! I thought it was a brilliant trilogy, but my recommendation comes with huge red flags. Exciting that you're so close to the end of Malazan!!
Great theme for a top 10 list, especially for the time of year. I've read the Bakker and Erickson books and approve their places on your list lol. I still need to read Pet Cemetery and Blood Meridian sometime. I would have to put "Dark Places" by Gillian Flynn somewhere at the top my version of this list. As someone who's from the same area as Flynn and the setting of this book, it resonated with me at very deep and disturbing level. It's a very dark and heartbreaking tale that brutally depicts the psychological and sociological dark side of small midwestern town poverty, and what experiencing horrific trauma as a child can do to a person. I personally don't have any serious trauma in my past but I grew up around a lot of stuff depicted in the book and related to the struggles of the central family characters all too well. I highly recommend it if you haven't read it already.
Fantastic video and A lot of books I am very interested in! Thank you for convincing me to officially put them on my TBR. Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Kings, interesting to see that it inspired this list. The Sunset Limited seems like a hauntingly thematic experience and I am looking forward to giving it a go.
Ooh! I’m glad to hear you’ll be picking up the Sunset Limited! You can read it in a sitting. I highly recommend checking out the film adaptation afterwords with Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel Jackson. It’s literally the same script. 😊
Thank you for this video, I really will not be reading any of these, tbh. The comment on Malazan made me think of Empires of Dust - the third book is so heavily repetitive in some themes that I wished it would have had a warning, tbh. In any case, thanks for sharing! I do think that content warnings in books should be more openly discussed and warned about.
Thank you, Livia! I understand wanting to avoid these titles. I wanted to bring up the Malazan triggers because those of us who are fans of the series rarely think about that when we're gushing about the series; we're mostly thinking about other things.
Really interesting idea for a video! Was not surprised at some of the picks, and knew the exact scenes you were talking about. I do still plan to read Bakker and am interested how I'll feel about that series
Such excellent recommendations Johanna!! I can't wait to jump into The Obsidian Path series. Bakker is definitely as disturbing as it gets. I think the most disturbing book I've read this year was Pimp by Iceberg Slim(autobiography)....or maybe Blood Meridian. lol. Great video Johanna.
Thank you, Dan! I kept it to fiction in this video, but I bet there's a lot more non-fiction that top many on this list! Hope you enjoy Fletcher's books!
Yeah, Pimp is really fucked up. I suppose what freaked me out about that book is how while Slim doesn't seek to romanticize the life, there's also this clinical, detached manner that he speaks when he talks about what he did as a pimp.
Wonderful video! You made me want to pick up all the books on this list that I haven’t read yet. I would include Betty by Tiffany McDaniel as a very disturbing book. Like Cormac McCarthy, her writing is beautiful, and she transports you into the book. Finding out that the story of Betty is based on the author’s mother and that she actually left out some of the terrible experiences her family suffered made it that much more disturbing.
I’m running to read Sunset Limited…it sounds amazing! Oh My Dark Vanessa got under my skin too. I felt all of the emotions so viscerally during the reading process and I needed a while to recover. When the rose tinted glasses start to be removed as she starts to realize what actually happened to her…so hauntingly written.
One of my favorite devices is a character revelation, and I love the way the author made that one a slow yet hard-hitting reveal. So uncomfortable! I would love to hear your thoughts on Sunset Limited! The movie adapatation is word-for-word.
The Least of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones literally had me near vomiting from a couple of really dark and disturbing scenes. Also, Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson has an integral plot line that made me realize I needed a trigger warning for things like that: I actually DNF’d the book because of it, only about 30 or so pages in, but I think I am in a better space to be able to handle and process that plot line, so I’m hoping to restart it soon.
Wow, I would love to hear your thoughts if finish Midnight Robber. I never know what Stephen Graham Jones to pick up next, so I appreciate your Least of My Scars recommendation!
Some books that come to mind: Hurricane Season by Fernanda Melchor. In a poor mexican town, a local witch is killed. The brutality of misogyny is on display. Reminds me of the middle section of 2666 by Bolaño, which you should really read too. The Collector by John Fowles. A man abducts the woman he's obsessed with, and keeps her like one of his butterflies.
I almost picked up Hurricane Season a few years ago, and one of my friends really hated it. It scared me off! Maybe I'll check it out though. The Collector does sound extremely creepy!
Sometimes i worry about myself because i don't find anything in a book disturbing jaja. Great video and good recommendations. Pet Sematary is my favorite S. King novel.
Thought-provoking. Haven’t read any of those although I did read Binti by Okorafor. I usually keep away from these reads due to my anxiety & depression but it depends on how I am and the book. Titles that come to mind are Lucky by Alice Sebold (memoir), A Daughter’s A Daughter by Mary Westmacott (aka Agatha Christie - the psychological horror of that one…). Oh I forgot, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - really good but too close, and Emma Newman’s Planetfall series, especially book 3, Before Mars. The way that author focuses on sides of mental illness that are still somewhat taboo. Great but not easy reads, well, for me.
I've never heard of Luck! I listened to the audiobook of Miller's Know My Name a couple of years ago, and that could've made my list. I decided to keep this list to fiction, but sometimes the truth is more disturbing--and more important-- than anything else!
Definitely interested in the Prince of Nothing series. Will have to pick it up someday and give it a try. The book that disturbed me the most has to be The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. I read it when I was 16 and I still regret ever buying that book 17 years ago. That scene will forever haunt me. 😐
The only two books on this list I've read were Pet Sematery and My Dark Vanessa. The latter definitely disturbed me. One book that disturbed me was The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan.
I'm glad to learn you also read My Dark Vanessa and understand what I'm talking about. Did you not find Pet Sematery disturbing? I'm so curious what you'll think upon your reread. I'll look into The Cement Garden!
I think I’d have to consider putting something like Dazai’s No Longer Human or Plath’s The Bell Jar here. Something where the knowledge of the author adds a profound amount of impact. In these cases knowing they might have served as suicide letters. Daphne Du Maurier, Anna Kavan, Yukio Mishima and Walter Miller Jr have hit in a similar vain for me recently. You’re getting their own personal struggles (and they had many) in their fiction
Enjoyable video, Thank you. I have Blood Meridian on my shelf to read. I would recommend a few that I found 'uncomfortable' in parts but thoroughly enjoyable as they are unlike anything I had ever read before. The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart Wasp Factory by Iain Banks Hater by David Moody American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson
Thank you for the recommendations! I have a copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and really need to get to it at some point. I hope you enjoy Blood Meridian!
I don't seek out disturbing or dark stories, but I don't generally avoid them either. I'll never pick up a book just because it's dark/disturbing, but I'm usually not dissuaded from reading something that is dark either. If that makes sense. So, in some ways, I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to the horror/darker genres, but I dip my toe in every now and then when I hear about other aspects of the story that interest me. I might change my reading habits though. I.e., not reading right before bed or not listening to an audiobook on my morning run in the dark. haha
I have a similar approach! I did pick up Pet Sematary for the Spooky Season vibes, but there usually has to be something more to interest me if a story is disturbing. That was the case for all the books on this list. And yes, I have to be mindful not to read certain content like this right before bed! Haha!
Not sure if it's me, my memory, or the books I've chosen, but I don't think I've been truly disturbed reading before, not in a way I really remember - and I do like my macabre tales, but mostly afterwards I see them as a good thrill - I'm still early in my Lovecraft and Clive Barker journey though, so we'll see. I did a few chapters of Uzimaki though, and I think that could really hit me if I kept at it. The Shining sure has some really grim moments, and yet I find it strangely optimistic. Most disturbing read though; It must be Children of Huron, that just gets more messed up then Oedipus Rex, and I was impressed Tolkien had it in him. Perhaps I might find more disturbing times if I read more Classic Lit, Post-Modern Lit, Scripture and Non-Fiction - or the ten you have here.
Interesting! I used to have the thickest skin when it came to disturbing content, but I was proved wrong. Uzumaki is so fascinating! The characters are relatively flat but that somehow made the gloom and absurdity more intense. It was creepy in a hypnotic way. 😵💫
@@Johanna_reads Certainly the couple chapters I read were already very hypnotic - and I think I was beginning to worry that I might start seeing spirals differently if I kept going (I tell myself I didn't because this was Daniel Greene's long, yet abridged, sum up of it, and thus not the true experience)! That's a real Artist who can take something so banal and ubiquitous and make it scary. And Ito's story about the human shaped holes - I think I'm even more scared of trying that one! I might find out my skin's not so think in the Manga world. 😅
I am So happy you loved Pet Sematary! It is so disturbing on many levels. And you know I love/am disturbed by My Dark Vanessa. Both have very real horror, which is what makes them so disturbing. Grief and grooming.
I just started reading Tender is flesh, I've heard it's disturbing and I've never read any disturbing books before and stopped reading Pet Semetary as i was feeling very uncomfortable reading it, so will see how I like tender is flesh.
Most disturbing book I've ever read is Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho mostly because of the very detailed descriptions of sexual violence told in the first person. Its a disturbing book for other reasons too but that was the big one for me. I'm currently re-reading Blood Meridian and appreciating it a lot more on the second time around. Certain elements I think were oversold or over empathised that didn't play as big a role (at least on the surface) as I was led to believe. Yeah... I'd a mini existential crisis after Aspect-Emperor haha
That does sound super disturbing! Might be too much for me. Eek. I bet Blood Meridian would be powerful upon reread! I'm looking forward to Aspect Emporer.
I have a great great ect grandpa who was scalped twice in his life and he lived both times. For a rec on the dark theme I just finished Motherthing- Ainslie Hogarth and would say this is dark.
nihilism has many many stripes i myself am an optimistic nihilist witch in sum is the belief that nothing has inherent meaning so we need to choose what we define as meaningful as individuals and pursue that
Only one of those I've read (I think) is Malazan. By that point, so much awful shit had happened I was basically numb to awful shit happening, which I think is one of the series' biggest failures.
Wow, that's definitely not what Erikson was intending, but I kind of get it. I think I numbed myself (whether consciously or unconsciously) when reading that chapter. I'm glad a friend warned me beforehand.
@@Johanna_reads Yeah, I know that’s not what he was going for, that’s why I called it a failure. But between how much awful stuff had happened by then and the fact that if anyone important dies they typically come back in some form or fashion, it was hard to care when bad things happened to people by that point in the story.
SK famously put Pet Semetary in a drawer for years coz he thought he went too far. So disturbing that even he was afraid to read it. Amazing theme on unspeakable loss and how tragic grief can change us in dark ways if we let it
"What exists without my knowledge exists without my consent." -Blood Meridian The Judge is one of the most amazing characters I've ever encountered in a book.
I'm not sure I want to be 'disturbed' by a book, but I certainly want to be 'affected' by them, recent ones that come to mind was the reveal near the end of Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow and the climax near the end of Dennis Lehane's Mystic River (if you know, you know!)
I am on page 350 of Salem's Lot ad I almost threw it across the room three times for some disturbing stuff which I ironically did not think would bother me. I am glad I did not stop reading because I do really like the book but probably could have done without those disturbing parts.
@@Johanna_reads It is harm to children that gets me I think! I just finished WOOM and boy am I disturbed now. It was a good book but not for the faint of heart.
Here's the disturbing books I ever read High on arrival by Mackenzie Phillips memoir I'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy It by Stephen king The wastelands by Stephen king The mindf#ck series by s.t abby My dark vanessa
@@MagusMarquillin Invisible Monsters isn't his darkest book, but it covers dark themes. I just love the narrative structure of that book and the twists really land for me.
I have read none of these books 😂 I didn't think Malazan had a bunch of rape though so that is definitely good to know as I have the first book sitting on a shelf waiting to be read.
Yeah, sexual violence is a recurring theme throughout the series but imo Erikson does a fantastic job tackling that subject matter with dignity and respect. There's only one instance to my memory which I don't think Erikson did as good a job as he could've and I belief he has since said he would change an aspect of it if he were writing the series now.
The reason you probably haven't heard about it is that those of us who are fans of the series don't think about those parts when we gush about what we love about Malazan. We think about the themes, the wild magic battle scenes, the depth of the world, characters, gods, creatures, humor, etc. Gardens of the Moon is pretty safe, and I actually think you could enjoy that book as a standalone.
Good morning, Johanna. As I've gotten older and had more life experience I tend to step back from disturbing content. A cherished friend of mine died by electrocution and last month I lost a former co-worker to suicide. Real-life horrors make searching out fictional traumas unsafe for my emotions. I chose not to read Malazan for content reasons. I read and was disturbed greatly by Pet Sematary. Read what you love. Happy Autumn.
It’s a vibe I associate with that era of pop culture. Funny thing is that my husband and I chatted about that association, and then I read that the author was influenced by that band!
Disturbing: “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn (I wanted to be smoke cleansed after reading that), “Hannibal” by Thomas Harris (depraved), “Lasher” by Anne Rice (Rice does something with her hero and you can’t look at him the same way again), “Full Dark No Stars” by Stephen King (especially the “Big Driver” story). And you’re right about “Pet Sematary”! 🪦
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Pet Sematary is not only a devastating exploration of grief, it's also an effective indictment of instant gratification and taking the easy way out, which the protagonist always seemed to be doing. Looking for an easy out to avoid having to feel the pain and trauma that comes with living. Granted, his particular circumstances were elevated to say the least, but instead of seeing them through, he tried to find a way to restore the past so he wouldn't have to. That cautionary aspect - along with the author's gift for finding the unsettling in the mundane - is why it's my all-time favourite King.
I love your insight about Pet Sematary! That need to have an easy out aligns with his profession as a doctor. The need to fix, repair, and avoid death at all costs. It truly is a masterpiece!
Oh yes, My Dark Vanessa really leaves a big impact! Same level as A Little Life for me! And I hate it when I see reviews saying that it's just trauma p*rn... like? No, this is reality for some people, whether you want to face it or not 😅
Anyway, I am very eager to get to Malazan one day, it sounds like such a life changing reading experience! Thanks for sharing these, I love me some emotional damage hahah 🤣
I want to read A Little Life someday even if it has that interpretation. Poor book! 😅 I'd be very curious to hear your thoughts on Malazan, Esmay! It is emotionally taxing though. 😅❤️
@@Johanna_reads It's one of my favourite non-SFF books, I really hope you 'enjoy' it when you get to it.
And I am grateful for the online book community for mentally prepping me and helping me set the right expectations for Malazan. I don't think I would have been ready for a story like that a bit earlier on in my reading journey, so I am just waiting for the right moment now! 🥰
@@esmayrosalyne you’re welcome! Malazan is best when the mood and headspace aligns for that kind of read!
While watching this video the whole lighting of my house went off which was very on point in terms of vibes, but fairly scary 😅! Thank you for the recommendations!!
Wow! That's wild!!! 😄 Thank you, Isa! ❤️
The Bee Sting by Paul Murray.
Maeve Fly by C.J. Leede.
Hawk Mountain by Conner Habib.
Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica.
I've heard of Tender is the Flesh, but I haven't heard of the others! Thank you!
Hi Johanna. I'm glad to see Pet Sematary on this list, great read. And the profound grief that's explored here is as well written as the more expected horror elements. When I read the book, my younger daughter was about the age of the boy, so... I couldn't help but put myself in Dad's shoes.
I'll be reading Blood Meridian before the end of the year, just in time for the holidays... 😂
Hi Bart! I cannot imagine how difficult reading Pet Sematary would be when having small children. It was a powerful book! I actually finished Blood Meridian on Christmas Day last year, and I hope it works for you! 😂
I haven't read his other books yet, but McCarthy's The Road was disturbing enough for me! Absolutely yes to Bakker's Prince of Nothing Trilogy being disturbing. I can see why Dust of Dreams would make your list. The first book that came to mind for me when I saw your thumbnail was Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky -- I read it when I was 17, and it left me depressed for a couple weeks at least. Cheers, Johanna!
There are moments from The Road that still send shivers up my spine.
Crime and Punishment is one of my mom's favorite books, and given how we both loved Stoner, I'm inclined to read it! I've only read 5 McCarthy books, but he seems to love addressing very similar themes in each one. Thanks, Philip!
Excellent video! I agree that Dust of Dreams was the most disturbing of the Malazan books, although there is another disturbing sequence in the Kharkanas trilogy that may come close to that as well. The Gap Cycle by Stephen Donaldson has very disturbing scenes along the same lines. Both are so well written though, and they really deal with the situations in a very meaningful and respectful way. Take Care!
Thank you, Jarrod! Glad to hear we share similar feelings about Dust of Dreams, and I'm curious about The Gap Cycle and Kharkanas!
Great video Johanna! I love the choice of topic. I won’t be reading Pet Semetary. I know several people who were just shattered by it, and I don’t think I want that lol. I didn’t know that McCarthy was an inspiration for Bakker. Though having read the first Prince of Nothing book I’m not surprised lol.
While masterful, I would not recommend Pet Sematary to many readers. It's haunting and harrowing. Yup! The Darkness That Comes Before is all you need to read to know what I mean! There was at least one scene in that book that still strongly disturbs me every time I think about it.
Great video! Some of my most disturbing (and are some of my favorite books this year): I have no mouth & I must scream and a Scanner darkly. The former focuses on a man who cannot die but cannot live because of an entity controlling the world. The latter has heavy drug abuse and what undercover police work can lead to in that world (the author even leave an epilogue listing the people he based the characters on and what mental state they are in at the time of writing).
Thank you! Both books sound very interesting! I love hearing that the author took time to dig into real case studies for A Scanner Darkly.
@Johanna_reads The author suffered from Drug Abuse early in his career. They are all his friends. Which made it much more disturbing for me
@@Dylan13Collins that is disturbing and fascinating!
Great list! Some of the most disturbing books I ever read:
When I was 13 I read Clive Barker's Damnation Game and it had scenes that really messed me up. I reread it again recently as an adult and it was less disturbing but there is a serial killer in the story that is still disgusting for me. William Burroughs Naked Lunch messed me up pretty good when I was a teen because I wasn't prepared for the druggy depravity that would be found in it. The Great Ordeal and The Unholy Consult by R Scott Bakker were books I couldn't put down because they were so good and would read them until 4am. I was plagued with terrifying nightmares that woke me up shaking, every night, during the duration of me binging them.
I can't remember if it was in Ordeal or Consult but there it has been the only book I had to put down and walk away for a few minutes. Bakker went full anime.
Wow! I've been wanting to get to Clive Barker's horror for a while now. I read a young adult book by him when I was much younger, The Thief of Always, so it would be interesting to experience such a contrast with the same author. I'm looking forward to reading Aspect Emperor, but I would be much less pleasant if I stayed up reading that until 4 a.m.! Haha!
@Johanna_reads Barker drifted away from horror. In the prologue to a new edition of his Books of Blood he said he just didn't have it in him.
I really did like Thief of Always as it is more creepy than horrors if I recall. Books of Blood are short stories that can hit or miss. His Will B Gone is almoat funny as it is about a demon trapped in the book trying to get you the reader to burn it.
Hi. Thanks for making this video. I appreciate your perspective on this topic. My Dark Vanessa was such an impactful read for me and it surprises me when it's not mentioned as often in "disturbing" book lists. I like it when books get under my skin because I think to be stirred is to evoke positive change and greater compassion. I think those who deny the darkness have more difficulty facing reality, but I don't necessarily think that facing reality is a requirement of people in the modern world. Essentially, I could write an essay about my thougts on this. Instead, I just subscribed lol.
: )
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! Sorry for the late response. For some reason, RUclips hid this from me, and it just showed up in my "Held for review" section. I couldn't not mention My Dark Vanessa, and that's an interesting point about the modern world being set up to avoid facing reality. Thanks again!
I always recommend The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock to McCarthy fans. He's similarly bleak and writes the most abhorrent characters.
Bastard out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison is heartbreaking. Based off the author's own childhood. It's so brutal but made all the darker for the moments of love and hope.
Betty by Tiffany McDaniel is probably the most disturbing book I've ever read. It's based off the author's grandmother. It's such a powerful story about sisterhood, racism, SA, a complex mother, a fantastic father/daughter relationship and such moments of love and beauty that when the darkness comes it is truly worse than any horror I've read. There's palpable dread hanging over the happy moments because you know they can't last. I recommend skipping chapter 26 as it has terrible animal abuse and it really doesn't add anything to the story.
Thank you so much for the recommendations! This is the second Betty recommendation I've received on this video, and it's a book I've been wanting to read for a while. That does sound disturbing while tackling important issues.
I knew nothing about Bakker. Never heard of content, went into it on someone's recommendation. Read it all, immediately restarted it and read it again. It absolutely blew me away. I want to revisit it once I'm done with Malazan (almost done with Toll atm). It's not a series I can recommend to people because it's so dark but it's brilliant.
Yes, then you totally get it! I thought it was a brilliant trilogy, but my recommendation comes with huge red flags. Exciting that you're so close to the end of Malazan!!
Great theme for a top 10 list, especially for the time of year. I've read the Bakker and Erickson books and approve their places on your list lol. I still need to read Pet Cemetery and Blood Meridian sometime.
I would have to put "Dark Places" by Gillian Flynn somewhere at the top my version of this list. As someone who's from the same area as Flynn and the setting of this book, it resonated with me at very deep and disturbing level. It's a very dark and heartbreaking tale that brutally depicts the psychological and sociological dark side of small midwestern town poverty, and what experiencing horrific trauma as a child can do to a person. I personally don't have any serious trauma in my past but I grew up around a lot of stuff depicted in the book and related to the struggles of the central family characters all too well. I highly recommend it if you haven't read it already.
Thank you for your kind words on the video and for your recommendation! I love your description of Dark Places, and I may have to check that out!
Fantastic video and A lot of books I am very interested in! Thank you for convincing me to officially put them on my TBR.
Pet Sematary is one of my favourite Kings, interesting to see that it inspired this list. The Sunset Limited seems like a hauntingly thematic experience and I am looking forward to giving it a go.
Ooh! I’m glad to hear you’ll be picking up the Sunset Limited! You can read it in a sitting. I highly recommend checking out the film adaptation afterwords with Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel Jackson. It’s literally the same script. 😊
Thank you for this video, I really will not be reading any of these, tbh. The comment on Malazan made me think of Empires of Dust - the third book is so heavily repetitive in some themes that I wished it would have had a warning, tbh. In any case, thanks for sharing! I do think that content warnings in books should be more openly discussed and warned about.
Thank you, Livia! I understand wanting to avoid these titles. I wanted to bring up the Malazan triggers because those of us who are fans of the series rarely think about that when we're gushing about the series; we're mostly thinking about other things.
Really interesting idea for a video! Was not surprised at some of the picks, and knew the exact scenes you were talking about. I do still plan to read Bakker and am interested how I'll feel about that series
Thank you, Niko! I would be very curious to hear your thoughts on Bakker. His prose is masterful, in my opinion.
Such excellent recommendations Johanna!! I can't wait to jump into The Obsidian Path series. Bakker is definitely as disturbing as it gets. I think the most disturbing book I've read this year was Pimp by Iceberg Slim(autobiography)....or maybe Blood Meridian. lol. Great video Johanna.
Thank you, Dan! I kept it to fiction in this video, but I bet there's a lot more non-fiction that top many on this list! Hope you enjoy Fletcher's books!
Yeah, Pimp is really fucked up. I suppose what freaked me out about that book is how while Slim doesn't seek to romanticize the life, there's also this clinical, detached manner that he speaks when he talks about what he did as a pimp.
Wonderful video! You made me want to pick up all the books on this list that I haven’t read yet. I would include Betty by Tiffany McDaniel as a very disturbing book. Like Cormac McCarthy, her writing is beautiful, and she transports you into the book. Finding out that the story of Betty is based on the author’s mother and that she actually left out some of the terrible experiences her family suffered made it that much more disturbing.
I've had Betty on my Goodreads to-read list for a long while, so I'm glad your directing my attention back to that one. Thank you so much!
I’m running to read Sunset Limited…it sounds amazing!
Oh My Dark Vanessa got under my skin too. I felt all of the emotions so viscerally during the reading process and I needed a while to recover. When the rose tinted glasses start to be removed as she starts to realize what actually happened to her…so hauntingly written.
One of my favorite devices is a character revelation, and I love the way the author made that one a slow yet hard-hitting reveal. So uncomfortable! I would love to hear your thoughts on Sunset Limited! The movie adapatation is word-for-word.
The Least of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones literally had me near vomiting from a couple of really dark and disturbing scenes. Also, Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson has an integral plot line that made me realize I needed a trigger warning for things like that: I actually DNF’d the book because of it, only about 30 or so pages in, but I think I am in a better space to be able to handle and process that plot line, so I’m hoping to restart it soon.
Wow, I would love to hear your thoughts if finish Midnight Robber. I never know what Stephen Graham Jones to pick up next, so I appreciate your Least of My Scars recommendation!
Melmoth the Wanderer was the book that creeped me out the most. It was so dark.
Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
Some books that come to mind:
Hurricane Season by Fernanda Melchor. In a poor mexican town, a local witch is killed. The brutality of misogyny is on display. Reminds me of the middle section of 2666 by Bolaño, which you should really read too.
The Collector by John Fowles. A man abducts the woman he's obsessed with, and keeps her like one of his butterflies.
I almost picked up Hurricane Season a few years ago, and one of my friends really hated it. It scared me off! Maybe I'll check it out though. The Collector does sound extremely creepy!
@@Johanna_reads Hurricane Season is quite graphic, I can see it putting off people, but I thought it was pretty engrossing.
Sometimes i worry about myself because i don't find anything in a book disturbing jaja. Great video and good recommendations. Pet Sematary is my favorite S. King novel.
Good if you can keep that distance with books! Pet Sematary was incredible!
Thought-provoking. Haven’t read any of those although I did read Binti by Okorafor. I usually keep away from these reads due to my anxiety & depression but it depends on how I am and the book. Titles that come to mind are Lucky by Alice Sebold (memoir), A Daughter’s A Daughter by Mary Westmacott (aka Agatha Christie - the psychological horror of that one…). Oh I forgot, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - really good but too close, and Emma Newman’s Planetfall series, especially book 3, Before Mars. The way that author focuses on sides of mental illness that are still somewhat taboo. Great but not easy reads, well, for me.
I've never heard of Luck! I listened to the audiobook of Miller's Know My Name a couple of years ago, and that could've made my list. I decided to keep this list to fiction, but sometimes the truth is more disturbing--and more important-- than anything else!
@@Johanna_reads Indeed. Sebold published Lucky around the same time as The Lovely Bones and that one is fiction but based on reality.
Definitely interested in the Prince of Nothing series. Will have to pick it up someday and give it a try.
The book that disturbed me the most has to be The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. I read it when I was 16 and I still regret ever buying that book 17 years ago. That scene will forever haunt me. 😐
The Prince of Nothing was so good! I read The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, and it is a strange book. I wasn't sure what to make of it, honestly.
The only two books on this list I've read were Pet Sematery and My Dark Vanessa. The latter definitely disturbed me. One book that disturbed me was The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan.
I'm glad to learn you also read My Dark Vanessa and understand what I'm talking about. Did you not find Pet Sematery disturbing? I'm so curious what you'll think upon your reread. I'll look into The Cement Garden!
I read Pet Sematery so long ago - 30 years at least - that I don't really remember much. It's easily the King book I look forward rereading the most!
I think I’d have to consider putting something like Dazai’s No Longer Human or Plath’s The Bell Jar here. Something where the knowledge of the author adds a profound amount of impact. In these cases knowing they might have served as suicide letters.
Daphne Du Maurier, Anna Kavan, Yukio Mishima and Walter Miller Jr have hit in a similar vain for me recently. You’re getting their own personal struggles (and they had many) in their fiction
That extra information reframes the whole reading experience! Thanks for sharing!
Enjoyable video, Thank you.
I have Blood Meridian on my shelf to read.
I would recommend a few that I found 'uncomfortable' in parts but thoroughly enjoyable as they are unlike anything I had ever read before.
The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart
Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
Hater by David Moody
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson
Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson
Thank you for the recommendations! I have a copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and really need to get to it at some point. I hope you enjoy Blood Meridian!
I don't seek out disturbing or dark stories, but I don't generally avoid them either. I'll never pick up a book just because it's dark/disturbing, but I'm usually not dissuaded from reading something that is dark either. If that makes sense. So, in some ways, I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to the horror/darker genres, but I dip my toe in every now and then when I hear about other aspects of the story that interest me. I might change my reading habits though. I.e., not reading right before bed or not listening to an audiobook on my morning run in the dark. haha
I have a similar approach! I did pick up Pet Sematary for the Spooky Season vibes, but there usually has to be something more to interest me if a story is disturbing. That was the case for all the books on this list. And yes, I have to be mindful not to read certain content like this right before bed! Haha!
Not sure if it's me, my memory, or the books I've chosen, but I don't think I've been truly disturbed reading before, not in a way I really remember - and I do like my macabre tales, but mostly afterwards I see them as a good thrill - I'm still early in my Lovecraft and Clive Barker journey though, so we'll see. I did a few chapters of Uzimaki though, and I think that could really hit me if I kept at it. The Shining sure has some really grim moments, and yet I find it strangely optimistic. Most disturbing read though; It must be Children of Huron, that just gets more messed up then Oedipus Rex, and I was impressed Tolkien had it in him.
Perhaps I might find more disturbing times if I read more Classic Lit, Post-Modern Lit, Scripture and Non-Fiction - or the ten you have here.
Interesting! I used to have the thickest skin when it came to disturbing content, but I was proved wrong. Uzumaki is so fascinating! The characters are relatively flat but that somehow made the gloom and absurdity more intense. It was creepy in a hypnotic way. 😵💫
@@Johanna_reads Certainly the couple chapters I read were already very hypnotic - and I think I was beginning to worry that I might start seeing spirals differently if I kept going (I tell myself I didn't because this was Daniel Greene's long, yet abridged, sum up of it, and thus not the true experience)! That's a real Artist who can take something so banal and ubiquitous and make it scary.
And Ito's story about the human shaped holes - I think I'm even more scared of trying that one! I might find out my skin's not so think in the Manga world. 😅
I am So happy you loved Pet Sematary! It is so disturbing on many levels. And you know I love/am disturbed by My Dark Vanessa. Both have very real horror, which is what makes them so disturbing. Grief and grooming.
Grief and grooming! Yes, indeed! Pet Sematary became a new favorite pretty quickly! I loved it!
I just started reading Tender is flesh, I've heard it's disturbing and I've never read any disturbing books before and stopped reading Pet Semetary as i was feeling very uncomfortable reading it, so will see how I like tender is flesh.
I've heard a lot of praise for Tender is the Flesh, but it does sound super disturbing. I hope it works for you!
Most disturbing book I've ever read is Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho mostly because of the very detailed descriptions of sexual violence told in the first person. Its a disturbing book for other reasons too but that was the big one for me.
I'm currently re-reading Blood Meridian and appreciating it a lot more on the second time around. Certain elements I think were oversold or over empathised that didn't play as big a role (at least on the surface) as I was led to believe.
Yeah... I'd a mini existential crisis after Aspect-Emperor haha
That does sound super disturbing! Might be too much for me. Eek. I bet Blood Meridian would be powerful upon reread! I'm looking forward to Aspect Emporer.
I have a great great ect grandpa who was scalped twice in his life and he lived both times.
For a rec on the dark theme I just finished Motherthing- Ainslie Hogarth and would say this is dark.
Impressive to live through such a real life horror twice! Thanks!
I am still haunted by Sprials, not only the gore but the sprials also made me nauseous 😅
Oh no! Motion sickness or vertigo is no fun!
nihilism has many many stripes i myself am an optimistic nihilist witch in sum is the belief that nothing has inherent meaning so we need to choose what we define as meaningful as individuals and pursue that
Interesting! I was taught that your definition is what it means to be an existentialist. I agree that there can be variation. Thanks!
@@Johanna_reads optimistic nihilism is part of existentialism yes
Realistically, optimistic nihilism is realizing that life has no meaning so be as happy as you can while you can
Only one of those I've read (I think) is Malazan. By that point, so much awful shit had happened I was basically numb to awful shit happening, which I think is one of the series' biggest failures.
Wow, that's definitely not what Erikson was intending, but I kind of get it. I think I numbed myself (whether consciously or unconsciously) when reading that chapter. I'm glad a friend warned me beforehand.
@@Johanna_reads Yeah, I know that’s not what he was going for, that’s why I called it a failure. But between how much awful stuff had happened by then and the fact that if anyone important dies they typically come back in some form or fashion, it was hard to care when bad things happened to people by that point in the story.
Read Blood on the tracks manga. I.. don't even have words to describe it
I'll look it up!
SK famously put Pet Semetary in a drawer for years coz he thought he went too far. So disturbing that even he was afraid to read it. Amazing theme on unspeakable loss and how tragic grief can change us in dark ways if we let it
I love that story about the writing of the Pet Sematary! That's wild how an author can be disturbed by their own stories. It's so well done!
"What exists without my knowledge exists without my consent." -Blood Meridian
The Judge is one of the most amazing characters I've ever encountered in a book.
The Judge is one of those characters who manages to be disturbing even in pure daylight!
I'm not sure I want to be 'disturbed' by a book, but I certainly want to be 'affected' by them, recent ones that come to mind was the reveal near the end of Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow and the climax near the end of Dennis Lehane's Mystic River (if you know, you know!)
I own The Sparrow and will have to get to it sometime. I keep hearing so much praise for Dennis Lehane!
I almost threw Uzamaki across the street.
Wow! That sounds like a great story!
Last time I read that out in public lol@@Johanna_reads
I am on page 350 of Salem's Lot ad I almost threw it across the room three times for some disturbing stuff which I ironically did not think would bother me. I am glad I did not stop reading because I do really like the book but probably could have done without those disturbing parts.
Wow! Sometimes we never know what's going to disturb us. It can be so surprising at times. Glad you didn't stop reading it!
@@Johanna_reads It is harm to children that gets me I think! I just finished WOOM and boy am I disturbed now. It was a good book but not for the faint of heart.
@@Johanna_reads for King it was not one of my favorites. I liked The Shining more and Needful Things.
May I suggest the manga ichi the kiiler...is a manga okay???
I did have manga on my list, so I don't see why not?
Totally understand why who fears death is on your list
Yeah! It's heavy, and I appreciated the way Okorafor approached those topics!
Ok might want to check them out base of your recommendation 👍
Haha! Hope they don't let you down!
For people who like these kinds of books, The Devil of Nanking by Mo Hayder tops my list for most disturbing I've ever read.
Thanks for the recommendation!
I think R Scott Bakker is someone I need to put on my list. Thanks as always.
Fantastic and thought provoking and at times metal af
Sounds like my thing!@@thatsci-firogue
I'd love to hear your Bakker thoughts! I can already imagine you having a lot of interesting things to say!
Thanks so much!@@Johanna_reads
Here's the disturbing books I ever read
High on arrival by Mackenzie Phillips memoir
I'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy
It by Stephen king
The wastelands by Stephen king
The mindf#ck series by s.t abby
My dark vanessa
Ooh, we shared one! I'll have to read IT sometime since I seem to be becoming a King fan!
Hi, Johanna! It's Gaby
Hi Gaby!
Chuck Palahniuk has much darker books than Fight Club. If anyone is a fan of Fight Club check out his other books.
Good to know! I thought he was a talented writer even if I didn't care for Fight Club. Thanks!
I have a copy of Invisible Monsters, do you know how disturbing is that one?
@@MagusMarquillin Yes, that is my favorite novel of his and my introduction into Palahniuk.
@@thepacksurvives71 Ooooh
@@MagusMarquillin Invisible Monsters isn't his darkest book, but it covers dark themes. I just love the narrative structure of that book and the twists really land for me.
I have read none of these books 😂 I didn't think Malazan had a bunch of rape though so that is definitely good to know as I have the first book sitting on a shelf waiting to be read.
Yeah, sexual violence is a recurring theme throughout the series but imo Erikson does a fantastic job tackling that subject matter with dignity and respect. There's only one instance to my memory which I don't think Erikson did as good a job as he could've and I belief he has since said he would change an aspect of it if he were writing the series now.
Good to know!@@thatsci-firogue
The reason you probably haven't heard about it is that those of us who are fans of the series don't think about those parts when we gush about what we love about Malazan. We think about the themes, the wild magic battle scenes, the depth of the world, characters, gods, creatures, humor, etc. Gardens of the Moon is pretty safe, and I actually think you could enjoy that book as a standalone.
Can we have a list of the books you have on the bookshelf in your background?
Guess I’ll have to do a bookshelf tour at some point! 😅
@@Johanna_reads Yes please!!
Good morning, Johanna. As I've gotten older and had more life experience I tend to step back from disturbing content. A cherished friend of mine died by electrocution and last month I lost a former co-worker to suicide. Real-life horrors make searching out fictional traumas unsafe for my emotions. I chose not to read Malazan for content reasons. I read and was disturbed greatly by Pet Sematary. Read what you love. Happy Autumn.
I'm sorry for your losses! It's understandable wanting to avoid disturbing content. Wishing you much support and peace at this time!
Bro I have no mouth and i must scream makes these books like childrens books
😶
@@Johanna_reads And All Tomorrows
Great that you mentioned All Tomorrows as so few people seen to have read it. Personally I found it fascinating.
@@michaeljenner2325 bru i did not enjoy reading abt humans getting turned into sentinent bricks but still best alien book
Dust of Dreams. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.
Yes, if you know, you know!
Hi there Hi
Hello!
What do guy mean you didint like Limp Bizkit? Haha
It’s a vibe I associate with that era of pop culture. Funny thing is that my husband and I chatted about that association, and then I read that the author was influenced by that band!
Disturbing: “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn (I wanted to be smoke cleansed after reading that), “Hannibal” by Thomas Harris (depraved), “Lasher” by Anne Rice (Rice does something with her hero and you can’t look at him the same way again), “Full Dark No Stars” by Stephen King (especially the “Big Driver” story). And you’re right about “Pet Sematary”! 🪦
Thank you so much for the recommendations! I just added Gone Girl to my Goodreads to-read list. I appreciate it!