Why is Joshua and the Promised Land? - Nostalgia Critic
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
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Nostalgia Critic has seen a lot of crazy, low budget films, but this one meets a new standard. How on Earth did this film come to be? Let's take a look at Joshua and the Promised Land.
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What, Why, and How is this movie?
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PRETTY PLEASE,IT IS THE DAY 262 WAITING FOR THE ,,G-force " MOVIE REVIEW BY THE ,,Nostalgia Critic" HIMSELF! PLEASE SEE THIS Doug!
,,G-force" have better visions than this movie!
Review Destination imagination. It’s way better.
,,G-force" is more interesting to Review than this pile of cgi mess!
god damn it, I was going to say "How is this movie"
I'll see you in court good sir
“Nooo.NOOOOOOOOOO!”
Oh, there he is! >:)
I came from the mayor
Need an inexperienced lawyer?
Collab when?
This is such an immature take on the story. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to watch the highly sophisticated retelling of Joshua involving talking vegetables throwing slushies at each other and the people of Jericho being portrayed by spartan helmet-wearing French peas
That's a good one! XD I'm crying from laughter!
They didn't even include the part where Moses forms a secret police, blocks in the camp, and tells people to murder their infidel brothers with swords.
I would rather watch that then this
And? Yeah, that's a childish telling, but it *does* actually tell the story it set out to, with decent animation, competent voice acting and catchy songs. It's a decent flick, especially if you want something safe for your kids. (P.s. reading this back, it strikes me as confrontational. That is not my intent.)
You, sir, win the comment section.
Saberspark: What the hell is this?
Nostalgia Critic: WHY the hell is this?
Drax: I'll do YOU one better! WHY is...oh, never mind, you just said that...
When the hell is this?
😂
HOW the hell is this?
Where the hell is this?
WHO the hell is this?!!
"Joshua, I want you to pitch your tent next to mines for now on."
No, NOOOOOOO
Lmao looks like those who expected Bible Man, Joseph, or Veggietales didnt expect the answer to be NONE OF THE ABOVE.
Soooo true. This is truly subversion of expectations
I was thinking Joshua but at the same time thought no way will he actually 😂
What is Bibleman?
@@gryphonofmight As one who has been subjected to Bible Man, I will sincerely ask this question and do you one better: WHY is Bible Man?
@@gryphonofmight
I on the other hand enjoyed every corny minute but to answer your question its a Christian superhero show that mostly parodies Batman. (though with a pinch of Star Wars for flavor) Has a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers level of cheese and some catchy songs. Though if you can't stand stuff like MMPR, its not going to be one of the top 3 for you like Veggie Tales is universally known as.
“You gonna be fine, you will see god. What can happen?”
YOU DIE!!
It’s literally in the Bible that if you see god you burn into dust.
Is God just secretly an Old One from Lovecraft?
@@TheBloodyWizard2949 More like a Great Old One. Think Azazoth if was as dickish as Nyarlothep but with an occasional nice streak.
@@EmptyMan000You meant Outer God, not Great Old One. The two entities you mentioned are the former.
Depends on which part of the story you happen to be in, I guess. Abraham could just have a wrestling match with the guy and Zipporah drove God away by tossing Moses' foreskin at him.
@@TheBloodyWizard2949 Basically, yes. Where do you think Lovecraft got the idea?
SaberSpark will be proud. Edit: He's right below me. Another edit: He is above all of us.
He would
@@kaylaskreations4973Saberspark\Nostalgia Critic crossover when??
@@kaylaskreations4973 And he will.
Yeah, he sure would
Lol fr, classic saberspark
It is impressive that just one guy made this, but still, you can really tell that one guy made this. And I can't help but love how hilariously bad this movie is because of it.
100% agreed.
Yep, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's so much fun to make fun of.
Even a team couldn't handle this movie, so we just got one guy instead.
I agree- but- compare the animation and writing in this movie to Romeo and Juliet Sealed with a Kiss. That movie also had only 1 animator!! And- it looked so much frikin better!!! Like- professional Disney animation!! And songs! It’s not great but it’s citizen kane compared to this! 😂
“No, NOOOOOOOO”
- Mosses
Lol, classic line
The Christian equivalent of “Oh, hi Mark.”
EDIT: I MADE THIS COMMENT BEFORE I SAW THE JOKE AT 12:23, I WASN’T READY FOR THAT COMPARISON TO ACTUALLY BE MADE IN THE VIDEO
*Mosses
I immediately looked through the comments hoping someone quoted that.
@@JY_Studios This movie needs more Tommy Wiseau lol
4:52 Ah yes, the famous red brick pyramids of Egypt.
LMAO
Movies like this raise the question of what is a "movie" vs what is let's say a "project." Like, it's hilarious to think about going to the theater with the kids and you sit and pull out your popcorn and this comes on. But it's much more in the category of "my high school film that got buried in the basement" than it is a marketable product.
I was thinking the same thing. What makes this a "movie" versus some random kid on youtube playing with a program they just got? Stuff like this should exist so people can grow their skills... but come on. It's only technically a movie, it's not a theatrical film.
yeah!
If it was released and marketed as a movie it’s a movie.
Its what I think about movies like... Ratatoing or Africa's Most Wanted. They feel like animated student projects, not movies.
it is a moving picture, it is a movie.
It's movies like this which make me think of the scene with Daffy Duck when he screams "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!" And Bugs Bunny closes the door in his face.
“Just hold your breath a second. This isn’t gonna hurt.”
“This is really going to to hurt.”
- Dustin Hoffman as Hook
A phrase taught to every priest and other religious leader in training.
and then later he says "Well, sometimes no means maybe." WTF
"now you're going to see God"
*watched this movie* MY EYES!!!!!
The moral of the story is if your parents suck, nothing will fix this than a child taking a forty year trip in the dessert in an adult body, forced to kill, witness death and sacrifice, almost getting stoned, but it's okay because eight year old you won't be forever traumatized. Just smile at your parents and everything's a-okay!
Yeah, I don't get it either.
"The electricity monster from Scooby-Doo"
Hey, show the 10,000 Volt Ghost some respect.
"Why is Joshua and the Promised Land?"
A question with an answer that neither satisfies nor is satisfying.
Because someone thought there was a need for furry Bible isekai?
@@onsenmark ಠ_ಠ ... I think you're right.
That C.S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien comparison literally had me holler out in laughter!
All 3 are self-professed Christian writers who made fictional works at least partially inspired by their faith whose works were made into a visual medium at some point...and that's about it. There's not...a lot of overlap.
@@mentaya11 There's an overlap?
@@mehnah5033 I can't think of much other than what I just said
@@mentaya11 They were really good friends too
1:01-1:06
Okay, when THAT movie is shown, and Critic says “If you thought THAT was bad”, then you just KNOW we’re in for a treat!
.... That CGI lion in the thumbnail is horrifying. I love it.
it is certainly something
does it frighten you?
I didn’t even know that was a lion it looked like something else
Can't deny i respect Jim Lion's hustle. Even the most revered animation projects, especially independant ones like Digital Circus and Hullaballoo, take years, thousands of dollars, and huge crews to produce and probably still has to compromise a lot of their vision. And right now the world of art is being taken over by passionless, art stealing A.I Generations. But this man rolled up his sleeves and tried his ass off to make a project he's passionate about by his damn self. As Anton Ego Said "the Average Piece of Junk is more valuable than our criticism designating it so."
Review Disney's The Wild (2006). That's a film you don't hear be talk about alot.
That movie is very underrated.
🎶I’m having a really Really nice day🎶
Ah yes that time when Disney tried to rip off Madagascar
I remember as a kid being so confused and just thinking this is a Madagascar rip off 😂
IIRC Doug did a Disneycember on it but a full review would be appreciated
Well, some very religious person was clearly struggling with his closeted fascination with furries.
Me: Mum can we watch the Prince of Egypt in Cinema
Mum: No Sweetie we have it at Home
The Prince of Egypt at Home:
😂😂😂❤
Your from Britain
I would watch Prince of Egypt or Joseph King of Dreams a thousand times.
dead meme
@@The-last-1huh?
I’d rather watch that movie instead.
5:33 "At least you can tell what species he is"
Maybe you can, I can't
Another Fun Fact: On top of being the sole writer, animator, and editor, Jim Lion also serves as the movie's narrator.
There's no way you have facts for this movie.
@@ThatOneToucannot really a fun fact if the movie’s credits point it out
@ThatOneToucan Well, not fun ones anyway.
As a Christian, I think it's important that we discuss the theology of this movie. I'll start:
Uh...
I uh- so Moses- he, uhh...
And the... Jews were... hmm...
no! Nooooooooo!
Ah Joshua - one of, the most violent, scriptures... of all.
More than Deuteronomy...
Good try. 😅👍
And Joshua was there too.
They excluded Moses's bit in Exodus 32:27. In a movie about a kid having family problems.
Heresy!
That Lion looks like it's been hit by a car 24 times in a row
It looks like they took the lion pelts from the cowardly lion costume and tried to put them back on the dead lions, then just performed a bit of necromancy to bring the dead lions back to life.
new beginnging
Beyond the obvious VeggieTales comparisons (CGI animated Bible stories for kids) what's crazy is that when VeggieTales did their Joshuah retelling their's ALSO was about a child audience insert character going back to the time of Joshua with a guide.
However, theirs was good. And had Month Python references
You know...I hadn't made that connection. Good point. Maybe it was an inspiration of sorts.
That reference kills me every time!
Another Fun Fact: A sequence based on the episode with Rahab and the two spies was made, but not included in the finished film, presumably because it's... pretty suggestive in regards to Rahab's job.
I guess there's no nice way of saying "hooker"
Well, she was a prostitute. Her job wasn't exactly pretty or pg.
Since Rahab ended up being King David's great(great?) grandmother which also means one of Jesus' human ancestors. . .I really don't want to know what this thing was going to do to her.
@@chadharger9323 I mean, we don't know all that much about her. She was a prostitute who lived in Jericho who was spared because she betrayed her own people to protect Jewish spies. Clearly she was allowed to intermarry into the Jewish people afterwards and ended up being in David's genealogy.
2000s Critic: Nostalgic Movies
2010s Critic: New movies from Nostalgic Franchises
2020s Critic: MOVIES FROM NOSTALGIC REVIEWS
It feels like it was only yesterday I helped work on the reanimated version XD
oh hey it's the mew & mewtwo guy
Was wanting a full cast review with
Malcolm: Hey Critic, are you ready to review today's movie?
Critic: No... NOOOOOO!
The sound of screaming cicadas in a co-emerging brood for the first time in 221 years and last time for another 221. It’s been recorded for the first time ever this year. Neat.
12:05 OH NO! COUNTRY BEAR HOME HAS BEEN CRUSHED!
I'll get you next time!.......................................................... *BEARS!!*
Fun Fact: The film took four years to make, and Jim Lion took four years to produce this film completely by himself, and prefaces the film by stating "it was worth every minute".
years? or days?
@@ellnats Both?
……..how?
how many fun facts do you need to be satisfied for this movie !?
For who? Him?
'Cause for me it was worth every drop of alcohol I took just to erase this abomination from my mind. And the next time I see it, it's be worth every drop again. Cheers. *raises glass and chugs*
That lion dad really makes me think we're a couple beers from a domestic charge.
*Sees thumbnail and title: "Noo. NOOOOOOOO!!!"
1:45 “….in the tradition of CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien”
Both of them would find that categorically insulting
3:23 Trust me, there's NOTHING too crazy for DeviantArt to put on the site. They have Thomas the Tank Engine shipping images for God's sake.
Knowing that this exists, it makes me all the more glad I don’t go on DeviantArt.
What's wrong with images of Thomas the Tank Engine delivering parcels? 🤔
And enough fetish content to make an episode of Totally Spies look tame by comparison.
Oh believe me, I HAVE SEEN SOME SHIT!
@@CesarDaSaladthat’s not so bad. The issue is when they ship Thomas with Emily, Rosie or even Rainbow Dash. And also, have you heard of the episode Rosie is Red?
7:31 I was kind of hoping Critic would say a line like: "Moses, unless you're calling for a Biblically Accurate Spirit Bomb, holding your arms up like that is messianically unhelpful!"
Wave your hands in the air ♫ ♪ ♬ to show that you care ♫ ♪ ♬
This scene is actually in the Bible, Exodus 17:8-13, but like everything else the movie botches it. Moses has to keep his arms up for the Israelites to prevail, but of course it gets harder as time goes on, so Aaron and Hur stay with him and hold up his arms.
@@Regfife Its a joke
@@TheFunnyGuy9000Being completely honest, his trivia was more entertaining than the joke
Peter Quill: “I'm gonna ask you this one time: where is Joshua and the Promised Land?”
Tony Stark: “Yeah, I'll do you one better: Who’s Joshua and the Promised Land?”
Drax: “I'll do you one better: Why is Joshua and the Promised Land?”
This movie is like if the CGI from The Lawnmower Man married Food Fight, and their kid was Christian.
Don’t know why, but I wish the voice of Joshua was Bobby Hill from King of the Hill.
We all wish that
"THAT'S MY SOUL! I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
That would have been so much better than this attempt at voice acting. The dad sounds so emotionless as well.
His name is 10,000 Volt Ghost and he deserves more respect than this movie.
As a devout Catholic, I’m so glad I never watched this growing up😂I grew up watching VeggieTales, 3-2-1 Penguins, Bible, Man, and the prince of Egypt in Sunday school.
As a Baptist, same
As a Protestant, I agree completely.
ditto
Growing up in a Christian household, I never watched many religious properties. But I do enjoy listening to adventures in odyssey just because I love radio theater.
Prince of Egypt is legitimately great
My name is Joshua and this film offends me.
Not just because it’s an insufferable piece of sh!t, but also because it apparently involves me and I was never paid for it!
Fellow Joshua here and I’ve been very creeped out by this movie. It’s been haunting my nightmares for over a week.
3:43 oh come on, it's the 10,000 Volt Ghost, if you're gonna reference Scooby-Doo, do it right
11:54 the only best part in the entire movie
I gotta hand it to Jim Lion. He made an entire movie all by himself over the course of 4 years just because he wanted to. Not out of money or acclaim. The guy’s a true artist.
How are these weird, poorly generated computer animation projects somehow scarier than most modern-day horror films???
I know the answer. Most modern day horror films try too hard to be scary while these rejected computer animation disasters don’t even have to TRY, the animation’s already creepy enough!
6:34 did Joshua just hit the griddy???
LMAOO
Me and my partner were just saying that lol 😂
I'm expecting a Saberspark cameo!!
There was a shout-out to the reanimated collab.
And he's in the comments! :)
@@toysvilltvstudios2.072 yay!!!
As low budget as it is, it’s still better than certain other higher budgeted crap that exists. You know, Foodfight.
Debatable.
One Last Fun Fact: Joshua's voice actor, Jonathan Dauermann, is the son of Naomi and Chaim Dauermann; who also star in the movie.
16:52 Nick Wilde: It's, uh, it's red wood.
Veggietales next please 😊😊
Pretty bummed it isn't time for veggietales.
Awgh! Now i got the Veggietales theme in my head XD
Yes yes yes
The movie at least
I was kind of thinking was going to review it… or McGee and Me
12:20 when Velma series wasn’t canceled be like
More like when I’m watching this excuse for a movie.
@@joshuaW5621 ok sure I accept that
This makes FoodFight! Look like Oppenheimer.
Like Nostalgia Critic described in "Food Fight" I have only one phrase to utter: FET - TISH - MOV - VIE.
This movie is living proof of why we need separation of church and state.
Which, sadly, we are getting ever further away from
I think I saw this video on RUclips many years ago. The moment I saw the father and mother lion argue with each other while their son was watching, it made several repressed memories return.
I was expecting Nostalgia Critic to review Jonah: A Veggietales Movie.....BUT NOT THIS ONE!! I can hear SaberSpark now "What the HELL is "Joshua And The Promise Land?!"
Oh I wish he reviewed that movie instead.
4:36 I think he just pulled his shoulder out of its socket
So this is what animated Gasoline looks like
Pretty much 😂
Why is that the perfect description of the visuals
Yeah. It makes me want to die.
@@joshuaW5621 Its soooooo bafflingly bad
This movie has always been right up Doug’s alley. I’m surprised he’s not ripped it to pieces before now. Joshua and the Promised Land would no doubt be a film Ned Flanders might enjoy, but to everyone else it’s just a religious acid trip. In the wise words of Moses:
“No, noooooooo!!!!”
It's like the disturbed lovechild of Food Fight and Rapsittie Street Kids. 😨
You want a better CGI adaptation of Joshua? Just watch "Veggietales: Josh and the Big Wall".
I feel like that one makes a Pink Floyd reference that would fly over the intended audiences' heads.
Watch Joseph: King of Dreams, the prequel to The Prince of Egypt. It may be a direct to video movie, but it's still better than this...this...THIS!
I love that movie
I have no idea why so many Christian kid shows end up as horrible nightmare fuel. I figure it's a combination of laziness, low budget, inexperience, and only caring about spreading a message rather than making art for art's sake.
Veggietales remains the sole bastion of Christian entertainment that is not only creative and holds up but is still genuinely funny in a way that even athiests can enjoy. (I also give a small shoutout to 321 Penguins. Same studio.)
I also remember liking Bibleman but have 0 idea if that holds up lol. I remember him being like Batman with a lightsaber who quotes Scripture while he fights. Yes you read that previous sentence right lmao.
Prince of Egypt was good, but probably not considered a kidsshow.
I think a big part of it is the cognitive dissonance when you try to tell a story with very heavy adult themes in a happy, engaging manner suitable for children.
I guess we REALLY should take back everything we said about Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa, FoodFight, and Norm of the North being very awful over the Years.
THIS IS WORSE THAN THOSE FILMS I MENTIONED JUST NOW!!
Try watching either Gaither's Pond and Spiders Web: A Pigs Tale then.
@@user-zf2ru4eq4w Let me guess, also terrible Films?
@@user-zf2ru4eq4wAlso bad Films as well, huh?
@@user-zf2ru4eq4w No clue what that even is, or if its a real Film
@@thefantasticretroreviewer3941 watch Saberspark review those two movies and yes, they are real.
The Communion joke had me *cackling!* 🤣
1:59 Saberspark really WAS mentioned!
Didn’t have time to both watch this and eat dinner separately, so I did both at once.
I’m lucky I can still use my esophagus
Monkey Moses is a treasure in the church
Bro it's 2024, you can't say that.
Almost read it as mickey mouses
@@jz00826 🐭: “Let my people go! Hu-ha!”
This is actually a movie I would expect The Cinema Snob would review but I'm still happy about this review.
8:42 Or Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and The Bat.
“Prince of Egypt” looks better than this! 😂
This animation makes Foodfight look competent!
😂😂😂😂😂. That’s a sentence I’ve heard to day
I hear you on the cicadas. Less than a month ago they were EVERYWHERE, here. I'd take my dog out to go potty & she'd chomp-down on a couple after chasing a dozen or so from the short trees! Frankly, I love listening to them.
Nooo....NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
There it is.
@@AttemptedVoices “There she is.”
- Khan, Wrath of Khan
Oh hi Mark
@@chasehedges6775 "There you are."
Glamrock Freddy, FNAF: Security Breach.
Just for fun, My Top 11 Ways to use Moses' "No. Nooooo!" at 11:55
- Me when I lost my phone (11:55)
- Disney wants to remake Fantasia (11:55)
- Me when I'm late for work (11:55)
- When someone eats a kit kat bar from the top (11:55)
- Me after hearing Legend of the Titanic got a TV show (11:55)
- Doug Walker after hearing Catherine Zeta Jones married (11:55)
- After hearing Neverending Story getting a remake (11:55)
- When someone makes a bubble gum flavored bagel - yes really (11:55)
- When someone eats the last slice of chocolate cake (11:55)
- Tommy Wiseau after finding out Lisa was cheating on him (11:55)
- CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien's reactions after seeing their names on this movie cover (11:55)
*PLAY ME OFF PAUL!!!!!!*
(Any I missed?)
🎉🎉🎉2:00, Saberspark got a Shoutout!
This was made in 2003, and I have a feeling the animator used Poser. It has that kind of vibe and they probably saved a fortune by being able to use the plethora of existing human animations.
Well, "I know what form my sleep paralysis demon will be taking, tonight."
Veggietales will forever the best Joshua adaptation.
“It was nice to meet you, now go away.”
“Yeah.” Blows raspberry.
*sees thumbnail*
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?
A movie
fear
Me too. BUT, I instinctively knew it was going to be some trash-ass religious propaganda for preschool kids, to get those Bronze Age superstitions indoctrinated EARLY..
It exists
My name is Joshua and I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS MOVIE
As a fellow Joshua, I also feel quite ashamed that my name is shared with this demonic movie.
Fellow Joshua here and I gotta say this hideous excuse for a movie has been haunting my nightmares lately.
19:53 Thought they were gonna use “No….NOOOOOOO!”
Doug bringing back "A FAAAAAMILY Picture!" and suddenly saying "Wait, this movie's not rated!" is so underrated. 😂😂😂
Douglas!! Robert!!
Get all your friends together and meet me after class.
You will be writing the line:
‘We don’t put out nightmare fuel.’
For the rest eternity.
Thank you for sharing this with us! It was a wild time for sure! Strange just barely begins to describe this project! The animation is very impressive but the story itself leaves much to be desired! It’s always a real treat to see you do a review like this! Keep up the great work! Looking forward to the next time you decide to pick something like this for a review!
SaberSpark will be proud of figuring out what is this movie, Critic.
Missed opportunity to have SaberSpark be part of his review, similar to PhantomStrider guest starring In the The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie review!
Seeing this review kinda makes me wish Nostalgia Critic and SaberSpark would collab on something
0:28 the cicadas are screaming outside my house rn and I was like wtf
You Dare Not Crossover With Saberspark!!?
I just realized saber has more subs that Doug.
Nostalgia Critic: *reviews Joshua and The Promised Land*
Saberspark: first time?
How NOT to make a Bible movie…
Why do recent episodes not have the full intro as usual? I remember that happening in certain ocassions but never in review episodes.